Everlasting Sin

Prologue

Riley

Fifteen Years Ago

Six Years Old

When I was in first grade, there was a boy who used to pinch me on the bus, and every day I would go home crying. He was older than I was by at least three years, and he had a snotty nose and dirty hands. I hated him with as much passion as a six-year-old could hate a boy. And one day, in my bravest voice, I told my mom that I no longer wanted to go to school on the bus because of this horrible little boy. The day after I told her, my mom found out the boy’s name from the bus driver and took me to his house so that she could speak to his mom. That was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I sat there on the couch in the living room, waiting in fear. I was so scared that the boy was going to come in and pinch me again. But he didn’t. Instead, my mom brought him over to me and he apologized with a big dopey grin. A grin that told me that he didn’t think he had really done anything wrong. My mom told me that he was going to look after me on the bus and at school and make sure that no one ever hurt me. He was going to be my very own protector. He called himself Batman, I called him Dopey, and his parents called him Hudson. Hudson Blake. From that day on, he never pinched me on the bus again. But I can’t say that I’ve never cried because of him since.

Chapter 1

Hudson

Ten Years Ago

She sat in the corner of the couch crying, her sobs loud and her face red and splotchy. I walked past her into the kitchen and grabbed a can of Coke, ignoring the tug of my heartstrings as I watched her.

“What’s wrong, Riley?” I sighed as I questioned her. She looked up at me with big brown eyes full of tears and I was taken back to the days when I used to pinch her on the school bus.

“Nothing.” She gulped and looked down at her legs.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” I sat on the couch next to her and awkwardly put my arm around her shoulders. “Maybe I can help.” I had no idea what I’d be able to do to help, but at fourteen, I felt years ahead of eleven-year-old Riley.

“Eden won’t...” She paused and sobbed some more. “Eden won’t let me borrow her nail polish.”

“What?” I frowned, confused.

“Eden won’t—”

“I heard that part.” I stared at her for a few moments before continuing. “I don’t get why you care. Nail polish just looks cheap and gross anyways.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She shook her head and I sighed.

“Get up, Riley. Let’s go and talk to Eden.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the couch, and she held on to my hand as we walked up the stairs to go talk to Eden. Eden was my sister and Riley’s best friend, but many times I felt as if I were closer to Riley than I was to Eden.

“Eden, open up.” I tried opening the door and then banged on it.

“No!” my sister yelled back in a whiny tone.

“Eden, I don’t have time for this!” I shouted, annoyed. I was fourteen and at the age where I felt like I was a man, not a boy. “Open up. Now.”

“Whatever!” she cried out as she slowly opened the door. “What do you want?” She stuck her face out at me and raised her nose up in the air.

“Let Riley play with the nail polish, please.”

She rolled her eyes. “I told her she could already.”

“I wanted the red one, not the pink.” Riley looked at me with wide eyes and I sighed.

“The red one, Eden?”

“No, that’s my favorite.” Eden shook her head. “You can’t make me.”

“Riley’s your best friend,” I huffed. “You should be generous. You know that’s what good little girls do.” I gave her a big smile like my dad always did to try and convince her. “Okay?”

“No,” she said obstinately, as only an eleven-year-old could.

“Eden.”

“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.” She gave me a superior look.

“You’re so childish.”

“You’re such a brat,” she shot back at me.

“Whatever. Come on, Riley.” I grabbed her hand and walked away from Eden’s door. “See you later, Eden. Riley and I are going to hang out in my room.”

“Kissy kissy time!” Eden called out and made kissing noises, and I frowned at her.

“You’re disgusting.” I shook my head and let go of Riley’s hand. “Come on. We can go and hang out in my room.”

“Okay.” She smiled at me weakly and followed me into my room.

“You can sit on the bed,” I offered generously. I really was magnanimous. I wanted to call Luke and tell him to come over so that we could play my new wrestling video game, but I knew that would be no fun for Riley to watch. “I’m going to play video games.”

“Okay.” She nodded and smiled at me. She sat on my bed with her legs crossed, and I stared at her for a few seconds before speaking again.

“You can play too...if you want.” I held back a sigh, not wanting her to know that I didn’t really want to play with her. Girls sucked at video games, especially her and Eden. Whenever they came to my room to play, they always giggled and fell on the ground. It was so annoying having to let them play when my parents were home that I was surprised I had asked her to play now of my own volition.

“I can watch.”

Yes! “Okay.”

“Are you going to play the car racing game?” she asked eagerly, and I groaned. I should have known that she didn’t really want to watch.

“No, I’m going to play my WCW game. Practice my wrestling.” I flexed my arms to show her my muscles, but she didn’t look too impressed. Typical kid. She had no clue that I’d been lifting fifty-pound weights for the last couple of months.

“Wrestling is boring,” she spoke innocently, and I tried not to let it annoy me.

Wrestling was my life. I wanted to be in the WWE when I grew older. I was going to be called ‘The Real Batman’ and I’d wear a black cape and mask and be totally awesome.

“You’re too young to understand.”

“I’m not too young to know it’s boring.” She grinned at me and I laughed.

“Very funny, Riley. Don’t make me pinch you.”

“I’ll tell my mom.” She gave me a look, and this time I didn’t hold back my groan.

“Please don’t. I don’t need her coming over here again, begging my parents to make me be nice to you.”

She giggled. “She didn’t beg.”

“She did.”

“Well, it worked.” She got off of the bed and came and gave me a hug. “Now you’re my private bodyguard.”

“You know it.” I gave her an awkward hug back. “I’m your personal Batman.”

“Uh huh.” She smiled up at me.

I was about to say something else when Eden knocked on the door.

“What are you guys doing?” She sauntered in without waiting for an answer to her knock.

“What do you think, dork?” I rolled my eyes.

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Eden laughed and I shuddered.

“That’s disgusting, Eden. What do you want?”

“Want to come and do nails, Riley?” She walked over to her friend. “You can use the red.”

“Are you sure?” A grin spread across Riley’s face. “I thought it was your favorite.”

“I’m sure. It’s my favorite, but you’re my best friend.” Eden linked her arm through Riley’s and they walked back out of my bedroom door.

I shook my head as I watched them go and then picked up my phone to call Luke.

“Wassup, dawg,” Luke drawled into the phone, trying to imitate his favorite rappers.

“What up?” I sat on the bed and looked at the door. “You wanna come over and play video games?”

“Dude, my mom said I gotta finish my homework before I go anywhere.”

“You nearly done?”

“Do you think I’m nearly done? I’ve got homework from last week that I still gotta do.” He groaned. “This school shit sucks.”

“I know, I know.” I sighed. Luke had been my best friend for years and I loved him, but sometimes I wished that he was a little bit more on the ball. “You think you can finish in the next hour? I’m sure you can stay over for dinner.”

“What’s your mom cooking?” he asked eagerly. Luke loved coming over for dinner, as my mom was a great cook and his mom was the queen of takeout. As much as we both loved takeout, we didn’t want to eat it every night.

“Meatloaf, I think.”

“With mashed potatoes?” His voice was excited and I laughed. I knew that Luke would do whatever it took to get over to my house that evening now that he knew my mom was making her famous mashed potatoes.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I’ll be there in an hour.” He hung up the phone and I grinned before running down the stairs.

“Mom!” I shouted as I ran. “Mom, what are you cooking for dinner?”

“Mom went out to grab a pizza.” Eden poked her head out of her door and made a face at me.

“Not again,” I groaned.

Now that my dad had started working late, Mom was making fewer meals at home. I was fed up with pizza. She didn’t even get the good kind. I felt like I was starting to look like Hungry Howie every time I glanced in a mirror.

“I like pizza.” Eden stuck her tongue out, and I ran into the room and grabbed her. “Put me down!” she squealed. “Hudson!”

“You’re a brat.” I dropped her on the bed and she giggled.

“Whatever. At least I’m getting pizza.”

“I wish mom would make meatloaf.” I shook my head, frustrated.

“I’ll make it if you want.” Riley smiled up at me, and I couldn’t stop from smiling back at her. She was a brat as well, but definitely not as bad as my sister.

“Thanks, Riley. Maybe next time.” I tousled the top of her hair.

“Yeah.” She nodded at me with eager eyes as I walked through the door and back to my room. “Just let me know, Hudson.”

Chapter 2

Riley

Six Years Ago

Hudson Blake reminded me of a hawk: a majestic, maddening, and daring hawk. When he looked at me, I felt like I was his prey: weak, innocent, and totally willing. I think it was the way he talked to me that had made me fall in love with him. He was always so caring and sensitive to my feelings. It was like he knew that I was a gentle creature to be coddled delicately. He never teased me mercilessly like he did Eden.

The first time I realized that Hudson might be as attracted to me as I was to him was when I was fifteen. I was staying over for a sleepover, and I wandered into his room to escape the gossiping that was going on among the girls.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Hey."

"What are you doing?" I walked up to his desk and looked at his blank computer screen. "You weren't looking at porn, were you?"

"No," he laughed. "Of course not."

"What do you mean, of course not? You're eighteen. Eighteen-year-old boys look at a lot of porn."

"You seem very sure of that." He raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. "Been checking it out yourself, have you?"

"No, of course not." I blushed and played with my hair.

"What are you girls up to then?" He frowned and stared at my fingers for a few seconds.

"Talking about boys and other girls." I made a face.

"Not enjoying that?" He laughed as I shook my head. "You and Eden are like chalk and cheese. I'm not sure how you've made it as best friends for all of these years."

"What do you mean?" I asked, not quite understanding what he was saying.

"Nothing bad." He stood up and I stared up at him as he towered over me.

Hudson was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of black shorts, and it was impossible for me to ignore how handsome he looked. His hair was spiked up and his hazel eyes were light with humor. I smiled up at him and then gasped as I noticed a tattoo on his upper arm.

"What's that?" I reached over and lightly touched his upper arm.

"What does it look like, Ms. Straight-A-Student?"

"You got a tattoo?" I asked in a disappointed tone. I wasn’t sure why I was disappointed, but I really felt let down.

“Yeah. Don’t you like it?”

I shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“I guess you’ll never get a tattoo then?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“I can’t convince you?” He grinned and flopped down on his bed.

“Doubt it.” I stood there, staring down at him, and he laughed.

“Don’t look so serious. I’m not going to force you to get one.”

“I didn’t think you were going to force me.”

“Come sit.” He patted the bed and I walked over and joined him. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“I can tell you’re upset.”

“How?” I asked, surprised. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t need to tell me, Riley. I know you like I know the back of my hand.”

“Uh huh.”

“So what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mumbled and lay back on the bed next to him. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed around me.”

“I know.” I turned to face him, and he was staring at me with his concerned hazel eyes. I stared into his eyes and tried not to focus too much on how handsome his face was.

“Tell me, Riley.”

“I just feel stupid because I’ve never kissed a boy before.”

His brow furrowed. “Why does that make you feel stupid? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I’m the only girl who hasn’t been kissed.” I blushed.

“So that just makes you even more special.”

“Whatever.” I shook my head and groaned. “I feel like a loser.”

“You’re not a loser.”

“I just don’t know what to do,” I admitted shyly. “I feel like I don’t know what to do if a boy kisses me.”

“Has a boy tried to kiss you?” He frowned.

“Not really.” I made a face, and he laughed, suddenly carefree again. “I guess guys just don’t like me.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re beautiful.”

I made another face and he pulled me closer to him.

“Don’t make a face at me.”

“I’m not.” I was mere inches away from him now, and I could feel my heart racing.

“Liar.” He grinned and leaned closer to me. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?” I stared into his eyes, feeling completely breathless.

“Because I’m going to teach you how to kiss and I want you to concentrate on the movement of my lips.”

“Oh, uh, okay.” I blinked rapidly, swallowing hard. I didn’t know what to say, and ‘thank you’ sounded too lame.

I closed my eyes and waited. I was unprepared for the warm feeling that filled me as I felt his lips pressed softly against mine. I lay there still and unmoving as he kissed me, and I heard him chuckle as he pulled away from me.

“You can kiss back, Riley,” he laughed.

“Sorry, what?” I opened my eyes slowly, feeling disoriented.

“I said, kiss back. If you just lay there like a fish, it’s not going to be fun.”

“Oh, my bad.”

“Okay, let’s try this again.” He smiled wickedly. “Keep your eyes open this time.”

“Okay,” I mumbled and took a deep breath. I waited for him to lean forward again.

“Stare into my eyes and move towards me. You’re going to instigate the kiss this time.”

“But I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s what I’m teaching you.” He grinned.

“Okay.” I took a deep breath and slowly leaned towards him.

I stopped right before my lips touched his, and I could see the humor in his eyes. I gently pressed my lips against his and waited to see what was going to happen next. Hudson just lay there for a second and I didn’t know what to do, but then he leaned towards me and grabbed my hair, pushing my face into his. I felt his lips crushing down on mine and kissed him back, trying to mimic the movement of his lips. I reached my hands up to his hair and stared into his eyes. Hudson’s lips crushed into mine, and I felt the tip of his tongue touching my lips.

I sprang back then and gasped. “What are you doing?” I questioned him with wide eyes.

“Teaching you how to kiss.”

“But you used your tongue.”

“It’s called a French kiss, Riley.”

“But we’re not in France,” I mumbled, feeling stupid. I knew my face was burning a deep shade of red, and I could see that he was laughing at me from the sparkle in his eyes.

“You can’t tell me you’ve never heard of a French kiss before.” There was shock in his eyes and he laughed slightly.

“You’re a jerk.” I pushed his shoulder hard.

“No.” He grabbed my hand. “I’m your teacher.” He leaned towards me again and brought my face towards his. “Close your eyes and do what you think is right.”

“What I think—”

Hudson’s lips interrupted my speech and I closed my eyes, trying to let my body and not my brain guide me. His lips were soft at first, and I felt myself kissing him back gently, but then his fingers ran through my hair and he pulled my face closer to him. His tongue deftly slipped into my mouth, and I slowly pushed my tongue into his mouth, enjoying the unexpected warm feelings that were coursing through me.

His tongue met mine, and I allowed my tongue to touch his. It tasted and felt funny, and I pulled away a little bit. Hudson pulled my face back towards him, and I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth again. This time, his tongue was rougher as it explored my mouth as if looking for cavities. My eyes popped open as he ran his hands down my side and rolled me into my back.

His eyes looked down at me with an unfamiliar emotion, and I felt his body crushing down onto mine. I gazed up at him and ran my hands down his back, not knowing what to do. I shifted on the bed beneath him and suddenly he froze and jumped off of the bed.

“Okay, great. I think you get the idea.” He walked back to his computer and sat down at his desk without looking at me.

“Oh, okay.” I sat up, feeling confused and stared at his back. “Is everything okay, Hudson?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.” His voice sounded gruff, and I swallowed hard.

What had happened? Was I such a bad kisser that he was disgusted by me?

“I’m going to leave now.”

“Fine,” he mumbled and clicked the keys on his laptop.

“Thanks,” I whispered, standing at his door.

I gently rubbed my lips, not really believing what had just happened. Had I really just kissed Hudson? My heart was singing with joy, even though my brain was upset and confused.

“No worries,” he mumbled and sighed, but then he turned around and smiled. “There’s nothing to be worried about, Riley. You’re a good kisser.” He stared at me for a few moments and then continued. “If you were older, I’d be teaching you even more.”

“Even more what?” I frowned and stared into his hazel eyes.

“You’ll figure it out one day.” He shook his head and ran his hand through his silky hair. “Now scoot. I’ve got things to do.”

I walked out of his room with a huge smile on my face, even though I’d just been dismissed. He had enjoyed kissing me, I was sure of that. Maybe one day, we’d be kissing for real.

I stopped in the hallway, rested my head against the wall, and closed my eyes. It was now hitting me. I had just kissed Hudson Blake. The boy of my dreams, even though no one else knew that.

Chapter 3

Hudson

Five Years Ago

“Hudson, let’s go to the Sigma Kappa party tonight.” Luke stood at the door to my dorm with wide, eager eyes.

“I have a test tomorrow.” I shook my head.

“Dude, there are going to be lots of hot girls. We might even get laid.” He grinned and walked into the room. “Plus, think of all the times in high school you convinced me to play video games when I had a test the next day.”

“Dude, that was on you. I didn’t make you do anything.” I grinned back at him and he shook his head.

“Come on, Hudson.” He sat on my bed and I pushed him off. “Don’t you want to get some?”

“Not really.” I shook my head and looked down. There was only one girl who set my heart on fire.

“Come on! The girls are hot. You know sorority girls. They love to give it up easy.”

“I don’t want a girl who gives it up easy.”

“Dude, just come for me then. And at least you can tell Eden and Riley that they shouldn’t join sororities when they go to college because you know firsthand how slutty the girls are.”

“I’m not going to tell my sister and her best friend that sorority girls are slutty.” I gave him a look and he laughed.

“Dude, it’s going to be epic. What are you doing? You’re ruining the college experience for us.”

“I’m not,” I lied. I knew I was.

I hadn’t really been to any parties since we’d started college. Sure, I’d been to a few and had a few hookups here and there, but nothing special. I hadn’t met any girls who’d touched me in any sort of way. But I couldn’t tell Luke why. He’d laugh if he knew I had a crush on Riley.

She was supposed to be like my little sister, but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling more for her. I think the day I taught her to kiss was the catalyst of my affections. Her response had been so sweet, yet so primal. I’d been ashamed of myself for feeling something for her. Something that was far from innocent.

“Whatever.” Luke walked to the door in a huff. “Live your life like some monk. See where that gets you.” He stopped at the door and turned towards me before he left. “I thought this was going to be the time of our lives, but frankly, you’re making it really shitty. Some best friend you are.”

There were a million responses I could have come back with. The one on the tip of my tongue was something along the lines of, “Then get some more friends and stop harassing me.” But I knew I couldn’t say that. For all his bravado, Luke was very sensitive and emotional. So I replied in the only way I knew how. “Fine, I’ll be ready at eight, but I’m not staying out late.”

“Don’t worry about it, dude.” He grinned in pure joy at me. “I’m sure I’ll be in some back bedroom by nine, so you can leave then.”

“Uh huh. Are you sure you want to sleep in someone else’s house?”

“Asshole. I won’t be sleeping. I’ll be doing that slow grind.”

I laughed as he started moving his arms and hips and covered my eyes. “Please, that is not an image I want to be seeing right now.”

“I’ll see you later.” He laughed as he left the room, and I jumped up and grabbed my book bag to head to the library.

I knew I still had to study for the test or I was going to fail. I grabbed my books and my laptop and quickly put them in my bag. I was about to leave the room, but instead I went back and pulled up my pillow.

There was a photo of Riley at the beach, and I stared at it for a few seconds before touching my finger to my lips and then to the photo. I put the photo down and covered it gently with my pillow before I walked out of the dorm. I sighed as I walked to the library.

I was starting to feel like a bit of a loser spending my days thinking about Riley. She wasn’t my girlfriend, and for all I knew, she had a boyfriend. There was no way I was going to make a move on her. She was still in high school and lived hours away. And she was my sister’s best friend. And her mom had asked me to look after her. There were way too many reasons for me to not follow my feelings. Because really, I didn’t even understand how I felt.

There were five girls running around the room doing shots and pulling off various items of clothing when Luke and I made it to the party at nine. We both grabbed a beer as soon as we walked into the house.

“This is why I love sorority parties. Such easy access to alcohol.”

“Sure. That’s why you love them.” I rolled my eyes, chugged my Bud Light, and looked around. I watched a hot redhead pulling off her top and grinned. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

“Hey, bad boy.” A cute girl with long blond hair walked up to me and stroked my chest. “What are you doing here?”

“Excuse me?” I frowned up at her. “What do you mean?’

“Don’t you belong at some bikers’ meeting or something with those tattoos?”

“I’m not a biker.” I frowned again and stepped back. “Sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be sorry. You’re still sexy as hell.” She stepped towards me again, but this time she stumbled and fell against me. “Oops.” She giggled.

“Lara.” Another girl ran over to us and gave me an apologetic look. “Lara, I think it’s time for us to leave.” The girl smiled at her friend and then at me. She had a sweet smile, and I stared back at her.

“I’m not going anywhere. We just got here.”

“Come on, Lara.” The girl tried again. “You’ve had too much to drink.”

“No, I haven’t.” Lara hiccupped and I laughed.

“What time did you guys start drinking?” I asked the new girl.

“Lara’s been drinking since six.” The girl rolled her pretty brown eyes. “I don’t drink.”

“Clara’s a goody two-shoes.” Lara looked at her friend in disgust.

I stared at Clara, who was now blushing, and looked her over. She was a pretty girl, with her shoulder-length curly hair, brown eyes, and caramel skin. She looked up at me then and rolled her eyes, and I gave her a sympathetic smile. It was obvious to me that she had been dragged to the party, just like I had been.

“What can I say? I don’t love parties with lots of drunk girls and guys looking to take advantage of them.” Clara smiled at me, and I nodded in agreement.

“I agree. It’s not really fun, is it?” I looked around the room and watched as Luke flirted with a girl who appeared to be drunker than Lara, who was now walking away to go hit on another guy.

“No, it’s not. I’d much rather be home reading a book.”

“Oh, you like to read?”

“Yes, I love it. You?”

“Not really.” I made a face and she laughed.

“At least you’re honest.”

“That I am.”

“So do you have a girlfriend, Mr. Honest?” She looked up at me with a curious light in her brown eyes. I stared at her pretty face and thought for a moment.

“No.” I shook my head. “I’m single as can be.”

“So am I.” She smiled back at me and looked down. “Oh, I can’t believe I just said that.”

“Why?” I laughed and smiled down at her.

“Because I’m not usually this forward.”

“Then I’m glad you were tonight.”

“Yeah?” She took a step towards me and beamed at me. “Then I’m glad I was as well.”

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“I was thinking we could go sit by the beach? Watch the stars and talk?”

“Oh.” She made a face. “The wind isn’t good for my hair.”

“Oh.” I was disappointed in her answer. I knew Riley would have jumped at the opportunity to go and stare at the stars.

“But maybe we can go and get milkshakes at Steak ‘n Shake?” she suggested with a sweet smile, and I nodded.

“Sounds good.”

We walked out of the party together, and while I was happy to be leaving the party and getting to know her better, a part of me felt sad. A part of me felt like I was giving up something I’d never really had.

“So, tell me all about yourself, Hudson Blake.” She leaned forward and sipped on her chocolate milkshake.

“Want do you want to know?” I ate some fries and sat back. “I’m nineteen, a sophomore. I love video games. I’ve had the same best friend my whole life. I’ve got two tattoos. I like wrestling and boxing. I’m single.” I smiled wide at her and she laughed.

“Wow, that tells me a lot, but not really.” She grinned.

“Why don’t you tell me about you?” I sipped some of my shake and waited for her to talk.

“I’m nineteen as well and a sophomore. I want to be a doctor when I grow older to help find a cure for cancer. I also want to be a doctor because they make a lot of money and I want to buy my mom a house. I’m mixed as well.”

“Mixed?” I laughed. “Mixed up in the head?”

“No,” she giggled and stole some French fries off my plate. “My mom is black and Native American, and my dad is white.”

“Are your parents still married?”

“No.” She grinned. “My dad remarried and I have two small brothers with the blondest hair and bluest eyes. It’s really funny when we all go out. People stare at me and wonder what I’m doing with them.”

“I suppose they think you’re the nanny.”

She burst out laughing. “Exactly! That’s not an issue, is it?”

“What, that you’re a nanny?” I raised an eyebrow at her, and she leaned forward and hit me in the shoulder.

“No, that I’m mixed.”

“Doesn’t matter to me if it doesn’t matter to you that I’m all English.”

“I love English men.”

“Well, I should clarify.” I laughed. “I’m not actually English, but I think my ancestors are.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, I can even put on an accent.” I cleared my throat. “G’day, guv’nor, my name’s Hudson.” I spoke in my best Cockney voice, and Clara burst out laughing.

“That was absolutely awful,” she said between sobs. “Please never do that again.”

“Wot do ya mean, mate? I’m from London, England,” I continued and grinned as I watched Clara laughing. There were tears coming out of her eyes and she was doubled over.

“I think ‘mate’ is Australian,” she giggled, and I reached over and wiped a tear off her cheek. She paused then and stared at me, her face turning a deep red.

“I hope you don’t mind me touching you.”

“No, that was very nice of you.”

“We sound so formal.” I laughed. “If Luke were here, he’d jump up and moon us or something to get the party started.”

“Luke is your friend, right?”

“Yeah, he’s my best friend. He’s the one who dragged me to the party.”

“Yeah, Lara is my best friend and the one who made me go as well.” She sighed. “We should hook them up.”

“I don’t think you want your best friend to date Luke.” I shook my head. “I love him, but he’s not anyone I would recommend as a boyfriend right now.”

“Oh yeah?” She laughed. “Then he’d definitely be perfect for Lara.”

“Oh, Clara. You’re so bad. Who knew?”

“Not me.” She shook her head and laughed. “Do you want to get out of here and do something?”

“Something like what?”

“Maybe we can go and drink.”

“Drink?” I paused, surprised at her words.

“Yeah, maybe we can grab some beers and smoke pot.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you—”

“Oh, I don’t at parties, but otherwise, why not?” She jumped up, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up. “Let’s go.”

“Okay.” I got out of the booth slowly, suddenly unsure how I felt about continuing the night with her.

Her comment had taken me aback. I’d thought we were on the same wavelength about drugs and alcohol, but apparently I’d been wrong. I was thinking about a way to tell her I had to go home when my phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I answered hesitantly, as the number was unknown.

“Hudson, where are you?” Eden’s voice was loud, and I could hear loud music in the background.

“I’m just leaving Steak ‘n Shake. Why? What’s wrong? Is Riley okay?”

“Huh?” Eden sounded confused. “I’m at home. We’re having a party.” She giggled. “Riley’s in the closet right now making out with Steve Anders.”

“What?” I could tell that my voice sounded agitated, but I couldn’t help it.

“Seven Minutes in Heaven.” She giggled again, and I took a deep breath. “That’s what we’re playing. I’m hoping I’ll get to go in with Zack Spinelli. He is so hot.”

“What do you want, Eden?”

“Do you know where Mom and Dad leave the keys to the liquor cabinet? I wanted to make screwdrivers for everyone.”

“Eden, are you joking?” My voice was loud, and I saw Clara give me an anxious look.

“Don’t get all high and mighty on me, Hudson Blake. I know you and Luke drank plenty of whiskey in your time.”

“That was different.”

“Why? Because you’re guys?”

“No.” I sighed. “Because you are girls and you have guys over. Alcohol makes people act funny. You don’t want anyone getting pregnant during those seven minutes in heaven.”

“Hudson, gross!” Eden shouted, and I heard someone whispering something to her.

“Who’s that?”

“Riley says hi,” she continued. “Riley, get on the phone with my stupid brother and tell him to tell you where the key is.”

“Hello.” Riley’s voice was soft and I smiled involuntarily.

“Hey, egghead.” I laughed into the phone and heard her groan.

“What’s up, asshole?” she muttered, and I closed my eyes for a second to picture her face. I knew exactly what face she’d be making right now.

“I’m not telling you how to get into the liquor cabinet,” I continued and then realized that Clara was just standing there, looking at me uncomfortably. “Hey, let me call you guys back in a few minutes, okay?”

“No need,” Riley giggled, and I frowned. “Just a second, Hudson,” she said into the phone, and then I heard her laughing hysterically. “Stop it, Steve! You’re going to make me drop the phone!”

I frowned even more as I heard her laughing, and I felt a dark emotion run through me. I gripped the phone tightly as I listened to Riley flirting.

“Riley, I have to go,” I spoke into the phone with a stern voice.

“Okay. Bye.” She hung up then, and I stood there, feeling like someone had just slammed a door hard in my face.

“Everything okay?” Clara looked at me with a concerned face.

“Yeah.” I nodded slowly and gave her a weak smile. “Just my sister and her silly friends.” I shrugged. “Nothing important. Let’s go and get that drink, yeah?”

“Sounds good to me.” She grabbed my hand as we walked out and smiled up at me. “I’m so glad I met you, Hudson.”

“Me too.” I tried to mean the words as I said them, but all I could think about was Riley.

What was she doing at the party? What was she going to end up doing? What if she slept with that guy Steve? I felt my blood boiling and tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness that was slowly filling me up.

“Hold on a sec, Clara.” I pulled my phone out and called my parents, leaving a voicemail. “Mom, you and Dad need to get home as soon as you can. Eden is having a party and I’m pretty sure things are getting out of control. I suggest you go home as soon as you can before something bad happens.” I hung up and put the phone in my pocket, feeling a little better.

I knew my parents well. As soon as they got that message, they would be racing home. The party would be broken up and all the boys would be sent home. All that would be left was a girls’ sleepover. Steve—whoever he was—would be gone and Riley would be snuggled up under my roof, safe and sound. I tried not to examine my feelings too much. I was trying to protect my sister and her best friend. That was what big brothers were supposed to do.

Chapter 4

Riley

Four Years Ago

Every summer, Eden and I would go to her parents’ beach house in Englewood, Florida, for two weeks. I would accompany her parents and Hudson, and sometimes Luke, Hudson’s best friend, would come as well. As we got older, I always worried that Hudson would stop coming, but he never did. Those summers were magical. We would swim and boat, sleep under the stars, and grill out almost every night. Eden’s parents let us do our own thing most of the time, so during those summers, we really felt like adults.

The summer I was eighteen, right before my senior year in high school, Hudson brought someone else with him. Her name was Clara, and he proudly introduced her as his girlfriend.

"This is Clara," he spoke to Eden, who stared at the beautiful brunette with wide, eager eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Clara. I'm Hudson's sister, Eden, and this is my best friend and almost-sister, Riley."

I smiled weakly at the girl who stood in front of me holding Hudson's hand.

"Hi." Her voice was as sweet as she looked, and I tried to dismiss my thoughts of jealousy.

"Riley." Hudson's voice was surprised as he looked me over. "You've grown." His eyes traveled the expanse of my body and back up to my eyes. There was an odd expression on his face, and he frowned. "I haven't seen you in a while."

Eden rolled her eyes. "Now that you're a college man, you don't have time for your two sisters."

"Riley's not my sister." His voice was harsh, and my face reddened. "I'm going to go and show Clara around now. I'll see you guys later." And with that, he turned around quickly and walked out of the room, Clara scurrying behind him.

"He's such a pain." Eden rolled her eyes at the door. "I can't believe he got a girl as beautiful as her though!"

"Why not?" I looked at her in surprise. "He's hot."

"Eww! No he's not." She pretended to puke. "He's annoying and gross. Don't you agree?" She gave me a pointed look and I nodded.

What was the point of telling her that I harbored feelings for her brother? It was just a teenage crush, and he wasn't interested. He'd never be interested in me. Especially not now that he had a beautiful girlfriend.

"He's a boy. All boys are gross," I replied as if that explained it all. I tried to ignore the pangs of jealousy and pain that twirled in my stomach. "Let's go swim." I ran into our shared room and looked for my swimming suit so that she wouldn’t ask me any more questions.

The day that changed my life started off like every other day. I woke up and went to the kitchen to get some cereal while Eden lay in bed, still snoring. I was pouring out my Frosted Flakes when Hudson walked in, bare-chested.

"Morning, Squirt." He wrinkled my hair.

"Morning, Gramps." I made a face at him and he laughed.

"What are you eating?"

"Cereal."

"Boring." It was his turn to make a face. "Want to go and get pancakes?"

"You and me?" My heart started beating fast as I stared at him with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah. I assume Eden is still in bed?"

"Of course."

"We'll call her on the way back. See if she wants anything." He grinned. "Now go and get dressed."

“What about Clara?”

He frowned. “She’s suffering from a hangover.”

“Oh.” I bit my lip and then continued. “Is she in your room?”

“No.” He shook his head. “She’s in her room.”

“Oh, you guys aren’t sleeping together?”

“Not on this trip.” He laughed. “Mom and Dad aren’t that cool.”

“Oh, okay.” Did that mean that he and Clara had slept together before or not? I knew it was none of my business, but I really wanted to know.

“Why?” He gave me a thoughtful look, and I stared at his lips, remembering the night he had taught me to kiss.

“I was just curious.” I shrugged and turned away. “Let me go and get my clothes on.”

I ran out of the room and made my way to the bathroom so that I could brush my teeth and wash my face. After that, I ran to the bedroom I was sharing with Eden and looked through my clothes for something cute but unassuming to wear. I decided on a black tank top and a pair of white shorts, and I was just brushing my hair when Hudson poked his head into the room.

“You’re not still getting ready, are you, Riley?”

“Yes. I had to put my clothes on.”

“Come on,” he groaned as I pulled out my lip gloss. “You don’t need that.”

“I’m coming.” I rolled my eyes at him and reached for my blusher.

“Riley,” he groaned again, and I glared at him.

“Be quiet,” Eden mumbled as she rolled over in her bed.

“Are you up, Eden?” I whispered, with my heart in my mouth.

“No,” she grumbled and rolled over again.

I grinned at Hudson and hurried out of the room. I was glad that Eden was staying in bed. I hadn’t spent time alone with Hudson in years, and I was looking forward to it.

“Are you finally ready?” He rolled his eyes at me and I shoved him.

“You’re an ass.” I laughed as we walked towards the front door.

“Watch who you’re talking to.” He grabbed me around the waist and pushed me against the wall. “I’m dangerous, you know.”

“Uh huh.” I giggled. “You’re the most dangerous twenty-year-old in the world.”

“And you think you’re the smartest eighteen-year-old.”

“Well, you know. I’m a eighteen-year-old rebel.”

“Well, rebel, want to go for a swim before breakfast?”

“At the beach?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and stared into my eyes. “Or are you worried about your hair?”

“What’s there to worry about?” I laughed. “It’s going to look like a frizzy mess in a few minutes anyways.”

“Oh, Riley.” He laughed, and then we both paused as we heard a sound.

“Hudson? Hudson, are you awake?” Clara called out, and I felt a surge of disappointment wash through my stomach. That was it then. Clara was now up.

“Shh.” Hudson placed a finger against my lips. “Let’s go.” He let me go and we walked quietly to the door, exiting quickly. We ran to his car in giggles, and I jumped in, feeling high on life.

“Why didn’t you answer her?” I asked him as he started the ignition.

“I wanted to spend a morning with my favorite girl uninterrupted,” he answered with a quick grin, and I sat back, feeling happier than I had in a long time.

“Then what are we waiting for?” I reached forward and turned on the radio. The Beach Boys’ high voices came vibrating out of the speakers, and I sang along to the music.

“So tell me. How are college applications going?” Hudson gave me a quick look before pulling onto the main road.

“Eh, still trying to decide where I want to go.” I shrugged and looked out the window. “And what I want to study.”

“What are you thinking?”

“English or journalism.”

“What are you going to do with them?”

“Maybe become an English teacher or a journalist.” I laughed and turned to him. “What about you? You graduate soon. What are you going to do?”

“I have no clue,” he sighed. “Mom and Dad keep telling me to go to law school, but I have no interest in being an attorney.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a boring job.”

“Maybe I’ll just travel the world and then decide.”

“Travel the world?” I looked away, not wanting him to see how disappointed that made me. I didn’t want him to travel the world.

“Yeah. It’s something Clara and I have been thinking about.” He frowned and then accelerated.

“Oh, Clara is going as well?” My disappointment became jealousy, and I looked out the window, nibbling on my lower lip.

“She’s thinking of taking a year off before med school, but she’s not sure.” He shrugged.

“So you guys are serious?”

“I can’t really answer that question. We don’t see each other that much, what with all her studying and her part-time job.”

“She has a job?”

He nodded. “She helps to support her mom.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, she’s a good girl.”

I looked over at him as he pulled off of the highway. “You really love her, huh?”

“I don’t know.” He gave me a quick look. “What’s love, really?”

“Does she make your heart race when you look at her? Does your stomach do flip-flops? Can you breathe when she’s not around?”

“What are these questions, Riley? Have you been reading too many romance novels again?”

“I don’t read romance novels,” I lied. They were my dirty little secret. I devoured about two romance novels a week, and all I could think about when I read them was me and Hudson riding off into the sunset.

“Well, then you need to stop watching chick flicks. Sometimes being with someone isn’t about all that sappy stuff,” he snapped. “Sometimes you’re with someone because the alternative is not acceptable.”

I stared at him with wide eyes. “You really don’t want to be alone, do you?”

“What are you talking about?” he sighed.

“You just said if you weren’t with Clara you’d be alone and that wouldn’t be acceptable.”

He shook his head in frustration. “I said no such thing.”

“That’s what I thought you meant.”

“Well, you thought wrong.” He pulled into the parking lot of a diner and stared at me. “You’re eighteen, Riley. You have the rest of your life to worry about love and all that nonsense. Don’t get caught up in it now.”

“I’m not caught up in anything.” My face went red as I got out of the car. “Asshole,” I whispered under my breath.

“I heard that.” He laughed and grabbed me from behind. I shrieked as he had caught me unaware, and he started tickling me.

“Hudson!” I squealed as his fingers worked their way under my arms. “Stop it!” I tried to escape his hold, but he pulled me closer towards him.

“What’s the magic word, Riley?”

“Please!” I pouted slowly as I stared up into his eyes.

“No.” He grinned down at me, his hazel eyes mocking me as his lips moved dangerously close.

“Open sesame.”

“What?” He laughed and tightened his grip on me.

“Hudson, let go of me.” I tried to push him away, but all I could feel was his solid muscle underneath my fingertips.

“Not until you say the magic word.”

“I don’t know what the magic word is.” I shook my head and he laughed.

“I’m not letting you go until you get it right.”

“But I’m hungry,” I groaned and batted my eyelashes up at him.

“I suggest you start guessing or you may starve.”

“Oh yeah?” I whispered as a thought entered my mind.

“Yeah.”

“We’ll see about that.” I giggled, and then took a deep breath.

My brain was screaming at me for my stupid idea. Don’t do it, Riley! Don’t do it! But I couldn’t stop myself. I stood on tiptoes, leaning slightly forward, and kissed Hudson. I could see the shock in his eyes as our lips made contact. His lips tasted sweeter than I remembered, and I gasped as his tongue entered my mouth slowly.

“Hudson.” My eyes widened as I felt his hands running down my back.

“You wanna sin, Riley? Then you gotta do it right.” He laughed against my lips and then pulled me into his arms as he kissed me harder.

I closed my eyes then and blocked out every other thought and feeling other than the touch of his lips against mine.