Here Be Sexist Vampires

Chapter One

(Sam)

I knew before I even reached the doorstep of the building that someone was in my flat. I knew that they were unfamiliar. I knew that their mood was calm, cool. And I knew that they were a vampire. Like me.

When I reached the top level of the building I found my Sire’s two dull-looking vampire guards stood outside my door as usual, seemingly unaware of the vampire inside. I thought about alerting them, but then curiosity came to call. The strange vampire in there had to be powerful in order to remain off the radar of the guards and yet he/she apparently had no interest in concealing their presence from me. Okay, they had me intrigued.

Just as calm and collected as the intruder, I unlocked the door and headed straight for the tiny, out-dated kitchen. While rooting through my plastic shopping bag for the carton of milk, I called out, “I don’t have all night so I’d appreciate it if you told me what you want.”

At this point I had established by their scent that they were male seen as females tended to have sweeter scents. I was also able to tell, going by the fizzing feeling in the flat, that this particular vampire was extremely powerful. A master vampire for sure.

The footsteps behind me were soft, slow, non-threatening. Whatever this vampire wanted, it wasn’t a brawl. “Evening Miss Parker,” he said politely, “I’ve been waiting for you.” It was rare that I heard such a well-spoken voice around this area of London. My neighbours – most of whom were drug addicts, poverty stricken, or criminals – would be more than tempted to try to mug the bloke. Well they would be in for one hell of a surprise if they did.

Milk carton in hand, I finally turned to look him. “So I see.”

As with all vampires, he had incredible sexual appeal, but this particular bloke’s allure was even more intense because he was a Keja vampire – something I knew just by the slight tint of amber in his irises. That amber would glow whenever he was angry, thirsty or horny. Luckily enough, they weren’t glowing now. All Keja vampires had hypnotic beauty and females were often called Enchantresses. Why couldn’t I have been a Keja? Instead I was a Sventé vampire; a breed that was the dullest of all three breeds.

Three breeds? Well you see, basically, you know how there are varying accounts of vampires? Some humans report us to be terribly aggressive with hulk-like strength, some report us to be entrancingly beautiful and charming, and others believe that we are actually more human-like than the stories say. Well the reason for all the confusion is that there are actually different breeds. Sventés like me don’t have hypnotic beauty like Kejas or have super-super-super strength and speed like Pagori vampires, though we are stronger and faster than any human. But our bloodlust isn’t overpowering which means that we can walk amongst humans without becoming overwhelmed and tempted to cling to someone’s artery.

This particular Keja in front of me had the most penetrating set of eyes, his lips were full, and his peppery black hair perfectly framed the upper part of his face, tickling his high cheekbones. His black shirt and black trousers had to be made to fit; they were snug enough to hint at his athletic build. Armani, I’d bet. He obviously wasn’t some rogue vampire.

So what was a posh, rich, master vamp doing here? I folded my arms across my not-so-flat chest. “Make it quick.”

“My name is Sebastian. I’ve been following you around for the past week.”

I hadn’t expected that. I thought he was here for Victor, my Sire – or as I like to think of him, the spawn of the Devil. Studying this Keja’s expression with my aquamarine eyes, I knew that he wasn’t lying, but how could I not have noticed him? I considered myself a pretty alert, aware person. Either I was losing my touch or this bloke was good. “Who exactly are you?”

He mirrored my posture. “I work directly for the Grand High Master.”

The Grand High Master? Ooh, this couldn’t be good. He was the vampire of all vampires. I’d never met him as it was a matter of invitation only. All I knew was that he lived somewhere in the Caribbean on an off-the-map private island which he very rarely left. “What is it I’m supposed to have done?”

Sebastian smiled. “As a Tracker, it is my job to hunt and seize felons as directed by our Grand High Master. However, my main role for the past two weeks has been to scout in search of any suitable candidates.”

“Suitable for what?”

“To keep it brief, His Grandness wishes to replace an exterminated squad in his private army, his legion. I spotted you when I attended your Sire’s gathering last week. He had you duel with a vampire of another bloodline and I have to say you are, indeed, a tremendous fighter. Very strong for a Sventé, but also very controlled. And your gift is very substantial. I was most entertained. I believe you would make an excellent addition to the legion.”

“Hang on a minute…You want me to fight for the Grand High Master?” He had to be blowing smoke up my arse. In terms of hierarchy, my Sire was low, low, low, low down which was why he persistently duelled for more territory and had used me for the past three years to help with his pursuit of it. Add to that the fact that Sventés were considered lower class by the other vampire breeds because we were considered ‘too tame’ and this whole thing felt surreal. My being noticed by Sebastian was the equivalent of a homeless person being singled out by the Royal Family. “You want to recruit me?”

He nodded. “I will take you to the location where our Grand High Master resides and you will partake in a test along with the other potential candidates that have been selected by other scouts. If you are chosen, you will then join the legion.”

A short laugh of incredulity popped out. “Thanks for the offer but I must respectfully decline. You can let yourself out, seen as you let yourself in.” I filled my kettle with water and switched it on to boil.

“You wish to decline?” he said disbelievingly, slowly walking toward the kitchenette.

“If the guards overhear this conversation -”

“They will not hear a thing just as they cannot sense me. I placed a mental shield over the flat.”

Oh. Handy gift. That explained why I hadn’t sensed him following me around. “Well my Sire could walk in any second -”

“And we would sense him well in advance.” Sebastian clasped his hands together. “Now, tell me why you are rejecting my offer.”

“I don’t have the luxury of a choice,” I said sulkily as I prepared my cup of coffee. “Victor would never let me go.” The prick.

“Yes, I find Victor particularly territorial, even for a vampire. When did he Turn you?”

“Three years ago. He found me when I was dying and told me that he could heal me, but that I would have to agree to serve him until he freed me from his hold. I didn’t know what the bloody hell any of that meant, I just didn’t want to die so I said ‘yes’. If I’d known what he’d meant by it then I wouldn’t be standing here now.”

Sebastian narrowed his eyes as he spoke, “Miss Parker -”

“Sam,” I offered.

“Sam, do you realise that by joining the Grand High Master’s legion your freedom of Victor would instantly come into effect?”

That made my head snap up.

“I’ve got your attention now, haven’t I,” he said, smirking. “He would not be able to override the decision of the Grand High Master.”

I leant against the counter as I sipped my coffee. “Yeah, well, I don’t see the point. I loathe Victor but from what I’ve heard once you sign up to run around after the Big Man, it’s a life-long position. If I took you up on your offer and was chosen to join the legion I’d still be serving someone. What’s the difference?”

Sebastian seized my gaze; his tone was all seriousness and assurance. “That is true, any immediate employees of his are required to serve him for the entirety of their immortal lives. But I can assure you now that being in the service of his Grandness would be very different from your current circumstances. He is very fair, very principled and will value your service and reward you rather than exploit you and your gift the way your Sire does.”

“My gift,” I echoed. “That’s what got your attention, isn’t it?” It got everyone’s attention. Typically Sventé gifts were only ever defensive rather than offensive. Or ‘boring’, as most complained. My individual gift, however, was far from it. Sebastian wasn’t the first vampire to try to coax me to leave Victor, but he was the first vampire to ever offer me a position that seemed worth risking Victor’s wrath for.

“As it happens, you had my attention well before you used it in the duel. But, yes, I do believe that your gift would make you an excellent addition to the legion. Wouldn’t you consider serving your Grand High Master as an honour?”

“Yeah but -”

“By joining the legion, you can be part of something momentous. Your name would go down in vampire history. You will be respected, admired and prized by all of vampirekind. You cannot tell me that this is not something that appeals to you.”

If I was being totally honest, I’d admit that being part of something so grand was tempting, especially when you’d not really had or done anything that you could be proud of in your twenty years of human life before then being Turned into a vampire. Even before I was Turned and had to disappear from my family’s radar I’d never had much to boast of. I’d always wanted to be something more and had wanted to attend university so that I could do a degree in Law. Of course the vampirism put a stop to that.

Sebastian sighed as he leant against the refrigerator, then he cast a look at the faded, slightly rusty thing and moved away from it as though it might stain his suit. I stifled a smile. “Since observing you duel last week I have followed you and observed you further,” he informed me. “I have seen that, even in spite of your strong dislike of Victor, you are loyal and trustworthy. I have noticed that you are also headstrong and ambitious. Good qualities, both of which Victor seems to be determined to crush.” He drawled out the last word.

I shrugged. “What can I say? That’s Victor.”

“He already controls your actions. Do you want him to have control over your emotions and strengths as well? Of course you don’t. His Grandness would respect these qualities, respect you, and give you room to be your own person. He certainly wouldn’t force you to be his lover.”

This bloke really knew how to play someone. “Haven’t you heard that being a vampire’s consort is an honour?” I said bitterly.

“That all depends on the vampire.”

“Look, you can’t be sure that His Grandness would be interested in having me in the legion. I’d just be a possible candidate. I can’t just flit off to attend some tryout. Victor would lose the plot. Would you like to know what he does whenever he’s stressed out or I rebel? Drags an innocent human – usually a kid – off the street and kill them slowly and painfully. He gets off on fear and pain.”

Sebastian’s face and voice softened. “Is that not all the more reason to escape his hold? Sam, I know his Grandness extremely well. And I know that he will have the same opinion about you and your potential that I do. I am more than confident that you will impress him as you have impressed me.”

I rubbed my temples, totally undecided. It wasn’t just Victor’s response I was wary of. It was all very well Sebastian saying the Big Man was super, but of course he’d say that. The last thing that I wanted was to be serving an even more powerful arsehole. But then he couldn’t be the Grand High Master if he was all that bad, could he? Then again, neither option was particularly that fantastic to someone who hadn’t wanted all this. It wasn’t exactly a childhood dream to become a vamp and join a vamp-type army for the whole of eternity.

Sebastian clearly picked up on my inner conflict and pounced on it. “You may not particularly like the fact that you are a vampire, but you have the opportunity now to take your situation and make something good of it. To rise above the suppression that it has so far had on you. To illustrate to vampirekind and to Victor that you are much more than his pet, and that he cannot control you any longer. And if you decline you will have the remainder of your immortal life to question that decision, and wonder what would have or could have been. So, which will it be?”

A queasy feeling overcame my stomach as I was teleported by the vampire that Sebastian summoned to bring us to the Grand High bloke’s mansion. It was more like a museum with its ornate columns, rare artefacts, and statues of unnecessarily naked people. The walls were a brilliant white with massive pieces of art scattered here and there. The floor was a beige marble that was so well polished I could see my reflection in it.

The bright walls and marble flooring continued throughout the house as I followed Sebastian through the corridor that was as wide as a standard room and as long as...well it looked eternally long. Like markers, tall Hungarian vampires were planted all over the place. Guards, obviously. The power humming around them indicated that although they were merely guards, they were actually master vampires.

Behind us was one of the servants, elegantly strolling with my bulging duffel bag. He was extremely tall and had an Egyptian look about him. Occasionally as we walked I’d see a small sitting area branching off the corridor. Everything gleamed and reflected. Even with clean hands I’d be frightened to touch anything in case I dirtied it.

Sebastian finally stopped at another sitting area which had a huge sofa-slash-bench in front of a set of extravagant patio doors. “I’ll be back momentarily,” was all he said. The servant placed my bag near the bench, nodded once and then strode off. Too restless to sit down – being in strange places made me restless – I strolled over to the patio doors. The small balcony overlooked a large swimming pool which was, uniquely, the shape of a bat with its wings outstretched. It was nice to know that the Big Man wasn’t without a sense of humour. Unless your vampiric gift was shape-shifting, morphing into bats didn’t come with vampirism.

Noticing that one of the doors was slightly ajar, I quietly stepped out and absorbed the night-time. Beyond the pool was a beautiful beach decorated by palm trees. So he really did live in the Caribbean. I imagined that the place would look all the more inviting in the sun. Although sunlight didn’t affect us in any way, we were nocturnal and naturally preferred the cover of darkness for hunting.

A lover of swimming, I was unable to resist a trip down the small set of steps to go to the pool where the water twinkled in the moonlight. I was just about to dip my fingers in when there was a huge splash and the water began lapping against the edges. My gaze found a delicious sight that sparked a rush in my blood. Burly shoulders and arms seemed to glide across the surface of the water as the swimmer moved with such ease. Even from the opposite end of the pool his gorgeousness was apparent. His chiselled facial features and perfect bone structure made me think of the statues inside the mansion. The way his jaw was set gave him a very determined look. His hair was short but not so short that I couldn’t run my hands through it. Bloody hell, where had that sleazy thought come from?

And now he’s caught me staring.

And I can’t think of anything to say to excuse myself.

He didn’t speak as he climbed out of the pool, all the while glaring at me suspiciously, probably contemplating the idea that I could be some kind of stalker. As he approached me, dabbing himself with a towel, I tried to concentrate on his intense hazel eyes rather than his alluring pale skin or his mostly naked body that was as defined as they came. Heat blast throughout my body as a heavy throb of desire settled low in my stomach. Up close I could see that not only did he have a red tint to his irises, marking him as a Pagori vampire, but that those irises were glowing. He was either a pissed, horny or thirsty Pagori vampire. Not good.

“What’re you doing out here?”

What a welcome. Not that I would expect a Pagori to ever be anything but moody. They were naturally irritable and easily became aggressive. So would I be if my irises flashed red. The Pagori strength came with a price. So did the Keja beauty; they had fangs. “I’m just -”

“Are you a friend of Joy’s?” He was appraising me from head to toe now, making me feel self-conscious. His nostrils flared as he took in my scent. “Or a servant?”

“No, I -”

“Only a select number of servants are permitted to have access to this section of the house.”

“Well that’s great for them but I’m -”

“This pool is especially off limits.”

I huffed. “Do you always interrupt people mid-sentence?”

His mouth curved up on one side. “British,” he observed in an approving tone. I quite liked the South Californian twang to his American accent too. After a short pause, made uncomfortable by how much he was staring, he said, “You’re new here. Who is it you’re working for?”

“Depends how the tryout goes.”

“Tryout?”

“For the legion.”

He looked taken aback but didn’t miss a beat. “Tell me you’re kidding.” His grin was mocking. “Tell me you’re not here hoping to try for a place in the legion.” When I didn’t say anything he laughed. “Let me give you some advice: run along home.”

“Why? Because I’m a girl?”

“Yes.”

What an arrogant little sod. I folded my arms across my chest and snorted. “Are you for real?”

“Listen, this isn’t a cheerleading squad. You don’t get points for being pretty. It’s some serious shit which is why a girl has never been accepted, and never will be. There’s no place for a female in the legion.”

Sebastian had failed to mention the past lack of success for females. I had to wonder just how widespread this misogynistic view was in this place. “You do know it’s not 1735, don’t you?”

“I’m just stating a fact.”

“No, you’re blurting out a prejudiced opinion.”

He shook his head. “Even if you were a guy, I’d be telling you to go home right now. For one thing, going by the fact that your skin-tone isn’t very pale, I’d say you’re only a few years old and that’s just not enough experience as a vampire for you to have a chance at landing a spot in the legion. Plus, no Sventé vampire has ever had any success with the tryouts.”

Sebastian had failed to mention that as well. A man of few words, apparently. “So you’re prejudiced against women, young vampires, and against another breed of vampire. I bet you’re a delight to have around.”

“Take my advice; don’t put yourself through the embarrassment of going to the tryout, just go home.”

Before I could yell at him for being a sexist sod, he had shrugged past me and disappeared through the patio doors. A little shocked, I slowly returned inside just as Sebastian was coming to summon me.

“Ready?”

I considered telling him to stuff it, that it wasn’t worth it. But I knew I could handle myself and my gift well. It was too tempting to attend the tryout just to irritate the bigot Pagori. “Ready.”

I marched behind Sebastian down the corridor again until we reached another set of patio doors, much more extravagant than the last set. We then walked along a narrow cobbled path that zigzagged throughout the well-maintained garden en-route to an outbuilding which, I soon realised, was actually an enclosed arena. Inside, the ground resembled a large horse paddock; a sandy floor with the letters A – D representing North, East, South and West.

Also inside was a line of blokes. About fifteen in all.

“Sam, you need to join the line,” said Sebastian. “I’ll be observing from there.” He indicated with his hand to what looked like a glass VIP spectators’ box. “Good luck.”

And then Sebastian was gone, and I was alone. Alone because each and every one of the blokes looked at me like I was a leper when I joined the line. There were titters and snorts and whispers and gasps of amusement. I ignored it all and stood still, calming my irritated self and trying to anticipate what the test may be. Probably duelling, I decided.

The only advice that Sebastian had given me was to wear something that would promote flexibility; hence why I was dressed in my black sweatpants, a white t-shirt with a white sports bra underneath, and my pump-slash-trainers. I’d tied my long dark hair back in a high ponytail to keep it from falling around my face.

While I tried to get my head in the right place, another four blokes entered. They joined in on the ‘laugh at the girl’ crap. All in all now there were twenty of us. And I was the smallest. And the only female there. And the only Sventé there. Oh joy. Five were Kejas, the rest were Pagoris.

After approximately a further ten minutes three blokes strolled in, all carrying an air of authority and power, and everyone immediately went silent. The interviewers, I guessed.

The first was a Keja, extremely tall and bald with dark skin that had paled slightly due to the vampirism. He was all elegance and composure. The second was a well-built Pagori with a studious gaze and tousled auburn hair. At total variance to the first bloke, he was casually dressed in jeans and a ‘Life Sucks Then You Become a Vamp’ t-shirt. The third bloke was also a Pagori...and the sexist sod from earlier. He spotted me and smirked evilly. Ah crap. If the final decision came down to him I was definitely going back home.

But I refused to be intimidated or made to feel unsure of myself so I straightened my posture and arched a sardonic brow at him. He didn’t like that, he looked away, sniggering.

Folding his arms, he began pacing in front of the line of potential recruits as he spoke in an authoritative, clear voice, “Alright, everyone, listen up. I’m Commander Jared Michaels. Beside me are Commander Will Norton” – he gestured to the casually dressed Pagori who nodded wearing a half-smile – “and Commander Lou Sherman.” The Keja bloke also nodded.

Jared the Bigot continued, “As has already been explained to you, our Grand High Master wishes to replace his squad of ten that was recently annihilated. I will be commanding that squad.” He looked hard at me with those words as he passed. It turned out that he was, I’ll begrudgingly admit, just as appealing when dressed as when semi-naked. He was made even more alluring by that knee-length black, Matrix-style leather jacket he was wearing. Why couldn’t he be ugly? Then maybe need wouldn’t be tugging at me. Now that his hair was dry I could see that it was a lovely shade of chestnut. I’d love to rag every strand of it out.

“There have been four other tryouts before this one,” he told us, “and I now have three spaces left to fill. Hopefully I will feel that three of you meet the criteria for the squad.” He halted in front of me as his gaze flicked over each vampire in the line except for me. “You’ve all been selected for one reason or another. Maybe it’s your strength, maybe it’s your fighting skills, maybe it’s your gift. But if you can’t control your bloodlust then all of that means nothing to me.”

He signalled at someone sat above the spectators’ box and then suddenly gas began pouring out of hoses that were protruding from the roof. No, not gas. Worse. Various scents of blood now circulated around us, shooting up my nostrils and making my head swirl. And now, even though I usually didn’t have an overpowering bloodlust, I was incredibly thirsty.

“In any kind of battle, blood will be spilled,” said Jared. “This is what it will feel like to be on a battlefield, varying blood scents will be swirling around you. It is important that you can still be focused and alert and controlled, and that you can resist your bloodlust.”

I didn’t glance along the line of blokes but I could feel the nervousness and anxiety among them; feelings that amplified as Jared brought over a human. I didn’t even see where he came from. He had thin lines of blood slowly dripping down from a bite mark on his neck and heading toward his bare chest.

“You,” called Jared, signalling to one of the blokes in the line. He ushered him over and then had him stand in front of the human. It was apparent that the Pagori bloke was mesmerized by the sight, but he did nothing other than tremble a little. After about thirty seconds Jared nodded at him to move away. The bloke exhaled heavily as he went. Jared then selected another bloke, then another, and another.

I, unsurprisingly, was left till last.

By the time Jared called me forward to stand before the human the blood was dripping down his legs. A year ago I would have been as mesmerised as some of the others had been. I might even have stepped toward the human for a quick taste just like two of the other blokes had. Needless to say they were now on their way home. But with Victor as your Sire, life was gory. You got used to it or you went insane.

Jared didn’t look pleased by how I stood still; not trembling, not swallowing hard, not squeezing my eyes closed, not trying to hold my breath like some of the other blokes had. A mischievous smirk surfaced on his face as he used his forefinger to collect a little from one of the ribbons of blood trailing down the human. Jared then tried teasing my nostrils; wafting his finger right under my nose. The teasing didn’t work, which didn’t please him. He brought the finger toward my lips, hoping to tempt me to at least try to lick it off. But I didn’t. Even though my body was curious and thirsty, I gave no reaction to Jared’s teasing. Instead, I held his gorgeous hazel eyes with a defiant stare. At last he dropped his hand, sighing loudly.

“The next part of the tryout is going to test you physically,” he announced to us as I returned to the line. He signalled with his hand for us to all follow behind him. He led us outside and over to a small forest which was made up of trees that were varying shades of green and looked beautifully exotic. Scents of wildlife immediately hit me. I wondered if the vampires here ever hunted the animals. I’d never tried them myself.

“Hey...you really think you can pass this?” asked a bloke who was now walking alongside me. He said it as though he believed I was mentally challenged. Apparently this Pagori found my presence here just as ridiculous as what Jared did which was a shame really because he was actually a good looking bloke and I didn’t want to think of him as a wanker. His mousey hair had been shaven to stubble, and the style suited him really well, giving him quite an intense look. His blue eyes were shining in amusement as they appraised my slender figure that didn’t even have a muscle to pull. His smile was cheeky but warm.

“Don’t tell me you feel threatened by a woman.”

“Hey I believe in equality and all that, but there’s no way you’ll pass this.”

“Enough talking,” snapped Jared at us, stopping still where the trees began. A group of vampires – all male, typical! – had been there waiting. By their posture and respectful bow of the head to Jared, I guessed that they were members of the legion.

Jared informed us, “Your aim in this task is to reach the end of the forest in the fastest time that you can. Three things you need to know: one, you can’t step on the floor. You can use the trees, logs, rocks...but not even once can you step foot on the ground. Number two: you are not permitted to use your own unique gifts, this is all about your strength and speed and agility. Yes, before you ask, I do have people watching. The third thing you need to know is that you will have someone chasing you the entire time. If they catch you, task over.”

Anxious with anticipation, I watched as each vampire took their turn at the task. Each had a ten second head start before a member of the legion was on their tail. Most seemed to be completing the task within forty seconds, providing they weren’t first caught. Of course, from outside the forest I couldn’t see a thing. It wasn’t until they returned through the forest that Jared would be told of the applicant’s success, or lack thereof.

Standing there waiting for my own turn was agonising. I couldn’t even plan a strategy as I had no view of what the forest was like inside. Worse still, the members of the legion that were stood here were all Pagoris. There was no way to outrun a Pagori unless you were one yourself. Sure Sventés were stronger and faster than the fittest human, but it didn’t compare to Pagori strength and speed. There was one thing, however, that could go in my favour. What Pagoris lacked in was agility. Sventé vampires, however, had the dexterity and sprightliness of a jungle cat and if these legion members weren’t used to working alongside Sventés then they might not be prepared for it. So if I tapped into that and also made good use of my head start there was a chance – I didn’t like how slim that chance was – of succeeding.

Was it any wonder that I was left till last to do the task? Or that Jared paired me up with the stockiest legion member of the lot to chase after me?

Jared gave me the fakest, most patronising ‘good luck’ that I’d ever heard, so I gave him the fakest, most patronising ‘thank you’ that he had ever heard.

It felt like forever before Jared finally said ‘Go!’

I sprung forward with as much force as I could, grabbing hold of the nearest branch for only a fleeting moment before then swinging to the next one ahead of me. Never letting myself forget that soon I would be pursued, I zoomed through the forest with such grace and litheness like a feather in the wind.

Plenty of logs and boulders scattered the ground, but for now I was relying only on tree branches. Bouncing from branches to boulders and back again would be nice and creative, but would slow my speed. That was the last thing I needed. Before long I could hear my pursuer...and there was no sign yet of the end of the forest.

I put more force behind my swings but the Pagori bloke behind me was fast and I knew that I couldn’t stay out of his reach for much longer.

“I is a comin’,” the bloke called out in an accent that wasn’t authentic. Clearly he considered himself playful and that this was a game that he was going to win.

Ah crap! He may just win it. Up ahead there was a wide river. Plenty of rocks stuck out of it. I could easy dash across them but that would slow me down. I almost felt dispirited until I saw what was beyond the river: the end of the forest. As I noticed the fallen tree in front of the river, an idea entered my head.

“Don’t hurt yourself now,” the Pagori bloke was shouting in a patronising voice. Arsewipe.

As I reached the river I landed nimbly on the fallen tree and pushed hard on my legs as I leapt into the air...almost there...almost there. Down. Ha. I’d cleared the river.

“Fuck me!” exclaimed the Pagori in surprise.

I’d rather not. Swinging from branches again, I could hear the Pagori stomping across the rocks. Apparently he couldn’t match my leap.

One more swing. Yes! I celebrated in my head as my feet met the ground outside of the forest. Three seconds later the blonde Pagori was beside me. He shook his head at me, his smile was filled with surprise. His eyes were glowing with respect.

“What’s your name?” he asked. The Australian had dropped his playful accent now.

“Sam.”

“Well, Sam, I think I’ve just fell in love.” His state of disbelief now had him giggling. “Come on.”

We ran back through the forest at vampire speed, finding Jared waiting at the mouth of it. He seemed amused. Until the Pagori spoke.

“She’s like a nymph or something!” He shook his head. “I can’t believe she did it.”

The look on Jared’s face was priceless. “Green, are you saying she outran you?”

He nodded. “You should have seen her leap over the river, she completely cleared it!” He patted me on the back and then waltzed over to his comrades, telling them about the chase.

Whereas Green was dazed yet excited, Jared was dazed but irritated. The other blokes weren’t laughing anymore, but they were still looking at me oddly and whispering. Then I got extremely cheesed off when I heard one of them suggesting to another bloke that I must have given Green a blow job to get him to say I’d outran him. I stomped hard on his foot and shot him a scowl. He didn’t seem confident enough to scowl back. Were they all arsewipes?

The bloke with the shaven head who’d earlier assured me that I would not pass this tryout glared at me. “You sure you’re not a disguised Pagori vampire on crack?”

“Oh shut it, slap-head.”

He just chuckled.

“For the final stage, we’ll return inside.” Jared’s walk was filled with that much frustration that he was almost marching.

I knew as I entered the building and joined the line in front of Jared that my smugness must be apparent on my face because he was glowering madly at me. I snorted.

“The final stage,” he drawled. “Combat. This is where you get to use your gifts. In the legion we train to avoid up-close and personal combat as this only tires a vampire and leads to more injuries. Instead we like to rely mostly on our gifts, aiding us to attack from afar. For this stage the effectiveness of your gift will be just as important as your control of it. There are now only seven of you left. From what I have seen so far, I’m confident that the three spaces I have left to fill for the squad will be filled today. Which means four of you will be going home.”

Jared first matched up one of the two remaining Kejas with a Pagori for combat. “Your aim is to outmatch your opponent, not to kill or cause any harm that can’t be fixed by our self-healing.”

Contrary to mythology, vampires can be killed in lots of ways. A stab to the heart would do the trick purely because we need it beating just as much as we did as a human. We can also be bled out if our injuries are too extensive which leads to death. Being starved of blood for more than four weeks was another way to go. In addition, a lot of vampires have deadly gifts and these will just as effectively kill us as they would a human.

Both the Keja and the Pagori were good. They stayed clear of each other, as instructed. Their powers were impressive. Although the Keja was a conjurer and was materialising weapons, the Pagori could secrete smoke from his hands, making the room hazy and preventing the Keja from finding his target. As such, the Pagori seized a weapon on a bad throw and used it against the conjurer. Combat done and dusted.

Jared then paired up the other Keja with another of the Pagoris. The Keja was exhaling tiny thorns which I guessed were poisonous to some degree however seen as his opponent had the power to deflect or negate anything thrown at him with just the wave of his hand, the thorns simply hit the floor each time. As such, I never got to see what effect exactly the thorns could have. Jared eventually stopped the duel seen as they were both as good as the other.

The last two Pagoris were next – one being the annoying but cute slap-head. He winked at me before confidently heading to the Northern point of the building. And God his gift was extraordinary, which meant that the whole thing was over in seconds. He had the power to cause temporary sensory paralysis, which meant his opponent was rendered blind, deaf and mute. As such, he was shooting his superhuman breath blindly – literally.

I was next. And I lacked an opponent.

Jared sighed and glared at me with narrowed eyes. I half expected him to say ‘I’m afraid there’s no one to duel with you, you’ll have to run along home’. But instead he started removing his jacket.

“I guess I’ll have to be your duelling partner,” he sighed.