Not Over You

Chapter One

Gabriel Edwards leaned back in his chair, outwardly smiling at his date, but on the inside…something was off with him, with them as a couple.

The server came by their table to refresh their water and pour more wine into their mostly empty glasses. The two things that everyone in Holland Springs could always count on at Jack’s Fine Italian were great service and food.

Elise Dumas raised her glass, studying him over the rim. Her green eyes sparkled, and her red hair glowed under the lights. “Everything okay?” she asked.

“Fine.” Standard southern answer to a question. But he wasn’t fine, and he hated lying about it. “Just a little tired.” At least that much was true. He was exhausted, having spent most the night before working on repairing a software glitch for the Special Victims Unit in Wilmington.

“I think you’re more than a little tired,” she said gently, and he had to look away before she could glimpse the truth. The longer he and Elise dated, the more this off feeling had grown, until it felt as though his entire body was suffused with it.

He couldn’t understand it, really. He’d been the one to ask her out, he’d been the one to pursue her, enjoy the flirting and stolen kisses…the daily texts to make plans for lunch or have coffee, just because. Not just that, Gabriel wanted to settle down. He wanted a wife, a dog, and, eventually, children—God willing.

But he did not want those things with Elise Dumas.

Gabriel blinked, the errant thought completely taking him by surprise, because there was absolutely nothing wrong with Elise. She didn’t deserve this sudden internal waffling. She deserved all of his attention, and not the sporadic amounts he’d given her lately.

Turning to her, he placed his hand on hers. It was warm and small beneath his palm. His heart raced a little. A slow smile flickered on her face, and she licked her bottom lip.

“I’m not that tired,” he said softly. “How about drinks…at my place?”

That smile of hers curved up even more. “I thought you’d never ask.” Usually, he wouldn’t have.

Gabriel didn’t exactly broadcast it to the world, but he had planned on waiting for his wedding night to have sex for the first time. Perhaps this off feeling was a result of that, of old-fashioned thinking. Growing up as the adopted son of a preacher had made him tentative in his relationships. Or maybe it was because he was still a virgin by choice.

With a wink, he said, “I think a gentleman shouldn’t keep a lady waiting for so long.” Then he motioned for the server to bring him the check.

Elise’s brows rose, but she said nothing until after the bill had been paid and Gabriel was lacing his fingers in hers. “Three months isn’t that long, Gabe.”

Try twenty-nine years, honey. He opened the door and inclined his head, letting go of her hand so she could go through first. She walked ahead of him, and he stood back to admire the sway of her hips, the way her slim skirt fit her curvy frame, and how her hair bounced on her shoulders with the movement.

A quick glance over her shoulder made him blush. He really shouldn’t be ogling Elise in the parking lot. “Sorry,” he said. Exhaling, he strode after her.

Stopping by the passenger side of his truck, Elise stood, hands clasped in front of her as she waited for him. “You didn’t have to apologize.”

He inclined his head to one side and opened the door, helping her inside. “Pretty sure I did.”

“Nah, I liked it.” She leaned into him, placing her hands on either shoulder. “It’s nice to feel wanted.”

“Just nice?”

“More than nice.” Her lashes fluttered, and he knew in that moment she would kiss him. He’d welcome that kiss, that reminder of all the reasons why he found her attractive.

But just as his own eyes grew heavy-lidded, a flash of blond hair framing a familiar face caught his attention. He jerked back. Elise almost tumbled out of the truck.

“What’s wrong?” she gasped

“I thought I saw…” He swallowed, unable to lie to her, yet unable to voice what his mind had registered. She couldn’t be back in town. Not now. Not when I’m so close to being over you. “Something… and it startled me.” There. At least that was the truth.

“If PDA makes you uncomfortable, Gabe, I won’t try to kiss you again,” she said. There wasn’t a trace of bitterness or sarcasm in her tone, but instead of making him feel better, he felt like a freak.

Scared to kiss her, angel? Or are you thinking of another? A voice whispered in his head, soft, seductive, and completely deadly to his determination to scrub her from his thoughts.

The scent of sea breezes and cut grass washed over him, reminding him of Summer. He inwardly grimaced. Not Summer, but summer—the season.

I’m over you. “Doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” he said, cupping the side of Elise’s face. “Now, where were we?”

Then he kissed her, long and hard, until she melted into him. He kissed her while thinking of all the things he liked about her, of all the things he knew about her, and of all the things that made her special to him.

But who had to think this much during a kiss? Shouldn’t a kiss be so overwhelming and consuming that the only thought you can hold onto is how to breathe?

Reluctantly, he pulled away.

Elise’s cheeks were rosy. “Wow,” she breathed. The measure of satisfaction he should feel never came. What was wrong with him?

With a heavy heart, he backed up. “Drinks are waiting.”

“If drinks at your place are anything like this, I don’t think I’ll be able to finish in one sitting.”

Gabriel had to smile over that. Her compliment flattered his ego, and then some. “Then let’s go.”

After climbing in his truck, he cranked up the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, heading north on Broad Street. Elise tuned the radio to a country station that had them both humming along. She grabbed his hand, and he felt better. In fact, that off feeling was completely gone.

“Here comes trouble,” he sang, but then that familiar face caught his eye and his stomach contracted, like he’d been suckered punched.

Summer Holland, the woman who’d sworn never to come back to Holland Springs ever again, was walking down Broad Street. She looked the same to him—beautiful, strong, and unattainable. Though that wasn’t always true. Once she’d been vulnerable and always willing to throw herself into his arms.

But then he’d let her down. All over a lie, that turned into a rumor, which spread like wildfire… and he’d done nothing to stomp it out, until it was too late, because the smallest part of him had believed it could be true. That, in truth, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

He’d been the worst sort of snob, the worst sort of hypocrite, to believe some guy’s lie. It didn’t matter that he had apologized. Summer had never forgiven him, and would always make him pay. Until he thought they’d finally broken through all that. Until he thought they’d finally be together. He had wanted to be the father of the child that wasn’t his. He had wanted to be Summer’s husband, her lover, and best friend. He thought she had wanted the same.

Then she’d shoved him away again. For no reason at all.

He almost slammed on the brakes, but somehow, he kept going, staring at her retreating form in the rearview mirror.

It was a damn good thing traffic was light.

Her hips swayed in barely there cutoffs, tan legs as long as anything. The blood is his veins thrummed. Involuntarily, his grip on Elise’s hand tightened.

Elise. Elise. The woman who sat so innocently beside him, singing and enjoying his company, while he salivated over another woman’s legs and hips. She deserved better than this, better than him, with his messed-up, tightly twisted history of dropping everything to help the girl who used to own his heart.

Now he knew what was wrong with him—Summer Holland.

And knowing was power. He would use that knowledge and get over her by taking this final step with Elise. Never mind that he was ditching his own long-held beliefs to prove a point. Never mind that he wouldn’t be thinking of Elise at all when he kissed her again.

He wanted to bang his head against the steering wheel to clear it, but instead he drove on, silently urging the already light traffic to become nonexistent. After another ten minutes of driving, he pulled into her driveway instead of his.

“Change of plans?” she asked, slipping her hand from his as he parked the truck.

“I’m—”

“She’s very beautiful, just like everyone says.”

“Excuse me?” he managed to ask, turning to Elise.

“Summer Holland.”

He searched Elise’s face. There was no judgment in her expression, just a sort of gentle understanding, which only served to make him feel even worse.

“She’s not why I changed my mind.”

“But she is a part of it.”

Running his hand through his hair, he groaned. “Yes, no… Honestly, she’s all in my head right now, because the only time she comes around is when she needs something.”

“And you always rescue her.”

“Guess you’ve been warned about that, huh?”

“I wouldn’t call it a warning, more like a be prepared type of thing.” Elise gave him a small smile. “Zoe Romanov told me that if I wanted to be with you, then I needed to accept your need to help others, especially one person in particular.”

Shame and guilt washed over him. She’d known, the entire time he tried to spare her feelings by kissing her. God only knew what she thought about him making the first move.

“How long ago did Zoe tell you this?”

“When things started getting serious, or at least, I assumed we were serious.” A large frown invaded her small smile and won. “I assumed too much apparently.”

He wanted to groan again. Their date had gone from good to bad to really ugly in a matter in minutes. “You didn’t assume anything. We’re a couple.”

“But will you think of me when Summer needs your help, or when she asks you to drop everything for her?”

Technically, Summer never had to ask him. He simply gave and she always took, but splitting hairs didn’t seem to be the best course to take. “I give you my word that you will always come first, and if you ever don’t, then call me out on it and give me the opportunity to rectify it.”

He meant it, every single word. Elise was good for him. She’d be good for any man, with her intelligence, looks, and disposition. Who wouldn’t want her in their life?

The leather seat creaked a little as she moved closer to him. “You get one chance, Gabriel. That might sound a little harsh, but from what I know and what I’ve been told—one is probably too many.” With that, she kissed him on the cheek, got out of the truck, and went inside her house.

Summer Holland had sworn she’d never step foot in Holland Springs again, but here she was, standing in the front yard of the house she’d grown up in. A house that not even three years ago, she’d burned to the ground, in the hopes of saving her sister.

Strawberry Grove looked mostly the same, only the rebuilt mansion no longer sagged in the front, shutters were firmly nailed beside windows, and the paint wasn’t peeling. The aura of decay was completely gone. It looked bright, cheery, and…homey.

Most likely, this was how Strawberry Grove had looked when it was first built, before the Civil War, by her great-great-great-great grandmother’s lover. Or if the family lore were to be believed, by a man who had actually convinced Poppy Holland to marry him while abandoning his own last name.

Actually, that would be two men in the history of all the notorious Holland women. Well, three if she counted her sister’s husband—the same man Summer’s daughter called Daddy.

The sound of tires crunching over gravel made her turn around just in time to see a hot-pink truck come to a stop. A tall blonde with a winning smile got out, waving at Summer like she was happy to see her.

It struck Summer as odd, painful, and sweet all at once. Growing up, no one outside of her family in Holland Springs had ever been happy to see her.

Except for one, a voice in her head reminded her.

“Hey you! It’s me, Jemma Leigh. Rose said you’d be by today,” Jemma Leigh called out as she teetered on high heels. She carefully made her way to Summer, with a stack of papers clutched tight in one hand. “I have a key for you, though Rose said you wouldn’t need it.”

Rose was correct. A locked door had never kept Summer out of any building. “How thoughtful.”

Jemma Leigh stopped short, searching Summer’s face. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

“No,” Summer lied, tossing her hair over one shoulder. Jemma Leigh had always been kind to her, even in school. Once Jemma Leigh had given Summer her own lunch when Summer had forgotten hers, and had no money to purchase one. Another time, she’d complimented Summer on a dress she’d worn to school, for the first day of ninth grade. It had been one of her mother’s and ill fitting.

But that’s not why Summer lied. She lied because she couldn’t afford to make friends. Friends turned on you when you needed them the most. Only Summer didn’t remember Jemma Leigh turning on her. Then again, Summer had never given her the chance.

“Oh.” Jemma Leigh’s face fell. “Well, I remember you, Summer Holland. We went to school together. You always drew the best pictures in art class, and I was green with envy.”

That’s what Jemma Leigh remembered? Not the rumors, or the whispers, or the name-calling, but how well she’d drawn? Color her confused. “Thank you.”

Jemma Leigh shifted her weight from side to side, and then handed over the stack of papers. “I took the opportunity to get the mail this evening, since you wouldn’t know to get it. But since you’re staying, you can get it from now on. While you’re here, you’ll have to have coffee with me so we can catch up. There’s a new café in town with muffins that will widen your hips just from looking at them. Not as good as Daisy’s place, but she’s off with her earl, living it up in England or China… Some place like that. Anyway, you just have to go with me.”

Summer stared at her blankly, taking the mail.

“You are staying, aren’t you?” Jemma Leigh’s brows drew together. “I could have sworn Rose said you were.”

Summer crossed her arms, not the easiest of feats considering her hands were full. “I’m thinking about staying.” There was no need for the entire town to know she was here, until she was good and ready. She turned and walked to the house, leaving Jemma Leigh standing in the middle of the front yard.

“Nice chatting with you, Summer. I’ll see you around,” Jemma Leigh called out, but Summer barely paid her any attention. All her focus was on the house, and what she’d find behind the door.

The old-fashioned key seemed to weigh about a thousand pounds in her hand. Her palms became sweaty and her knees wobbly, but she put the key in the lock and turned it. The door swung open.

A cat rushed out, winding around her legs. She bent down, dumping the mail on the porch to scoop him up. “Blackbeard,” she whispered again his soft, black fur. “I’ve missed you.”

Blackbeard purred in response.

She looked into his blue eyes and made a face. “It hasn’t been that long.”

The cat kept staring, and his tail twitched.

“All right, it has been a long time, but I plan on staying a long time.” She stroked his back. “Does my time frame meet with your approval?”

Blackbeard wriggled out of her arms, and she let him go. Rising to her feet, she left the porch and the mail behind her as she entered the house.

A white envelope propped up on a table in the foyer caught her eye. Her name was boldly written on it. Blackbeard jumped on the table, rubbing against the mirror.

“You’re so vain now. Is Rose’s husband the reason for it?” she asked the cat. Picking up the note, she examined it and then let out a puff of air when she couldn’t discern what was inside without opening it.

“Fine,” she muttered, lifting the back flap and pulling out the letter.

Dear Summer,

Sasha, Ivy, and I are traveling in Zimbabwe at the moment. We are opening a new school there, and then another one in Brazil.

“A globetrotting Holland. Who would have thunk it?” she said, absently petting Blackbeard.

Normally, I keep Carolina Dreams closed during our trips, but there are several couples that will need our help. I hope that you can find a way to reopen the store while I’m gone. After all, you and Skye helped start it. Please pay yourself whatever you think is fair. Harrison can help you, if you have any questions.

“Fat chance of Harrison helping me,” Summer muttered.

Please make yourself at home. You’ll find your old bedroom ready for you. I’m sure Blackbeard can show you the way, if you’ve forgotten.

All My Love,

Rose

P.S. Tell Blackbeard to stay out of my closet. He has a nasty habit of drooling on my cashmere sweaters.

P.P.S. That was Sasha, not me. Blackbeard has a crush on him.

P.P.P.S. Why wouldn’t he? I’m very pleasing to the eye, as are you.

P.P.P.P.S. Beauty fades, but I’ll keep you anyway.

Summer swallowed a giggle, and then crumpled up the letter. Her sister was truly in love, and the man she married was truly in love with her. The thought of it warmed the coldness that lived inside of her, but only a little. A little was all she would allow.

She looked in the mirror, not at herself, but at the room behind her. Everything inside the house had changed. It was elegant and touchable. The large chairs flanking either side of the fireplace practically begged to be sat in, but she wouldn’t succumb.

Instead, she scooped up Blackbeard and dropped the letter on the table. She wandered around for what seemed like hours, taking in the newness as memories washed over her.

Running through the house with her sisters, laughing as Blackbeard chased after them. Their mother teaching her how to illustrate botanical recipes long after everyone had gone to bed, not even Rose suspected Summer had been the one to do that.

Trying the new recipes Rose invented. Putting up with all the friends Skye would make and try to bring home with her. Meeting Gabriel for the first time, in the backyard, when he’d gotten lost in the woods.

But along with the good, came the bad.

Growing up to look exactly like Azalea. Dealing with the rumors while, struggling not to become what she was accused of being. Azalea kicking her out. Living with Patrick—

Summer paused in the middle of the upstairs hallway and closed her eyes.

She wouldn’t think of him, of what he demanded after letting her stay the night when she had nowhere else to go. Summer had thought Patrick was her friend, because he was Gabriel’s friend. And Gabriel would have never been friends with—

Her eyes popped open, and she marched to her old room.

It didn’t matter what Gabriel used to be, was right now, or would be in the future. Coming home to Holland Springs had nothing to do with him.

She threw open the door and stepped inside. The room was tastefully done in soft greens and rich creams, two of her favorite colors. Little splashes of pink and yellow made the room extra homey.

But the picture of her holding a newborn Ivy seemed to mock her from the mantle over the fireplace. Her lips twisted, and her jaw clenched.

It’s the right thing, Summer.

But it hurts.

I know it does, but I’ll help you, every step of the way, if you want.

Gabriel. It was his fault she’d given up Ivy like she had. It was his fault that she allowed him to see her in a weak moment. Otherwise, she would have never let Rose adopt Ivy. She would have found a way to make herself a better mother… to make herself love a child who no longer knew her. A child who looked so much like the man who’d helped her, who’d found her in a diner while she counted tips and how many days were left before she had to pay rent again.

Darius.

Though she hadn’t loved him, she had liked him and the way he treated her, like she mattered and deserved respect. She’d admired him and the sacrifices he’d made while in the ARMY. When he’d died in a roadside bomb, a piece of her died along with him.

The image of mother and child blurred. Summer blinked, and tears ran down her cheeks.

No matter what, she’d never let herself be that weak again.