Wait for Me

Chapter One

There was torture, and then there was rip-your-fingernails-out-by-the-roots-with-pliers pure agony. Right now, Kate Alexander was in the midst of the latter. Or at least it felt like she was.

She ground her teeth and tried to think of something besides the sweat slicking her skin, the ceiling entirely too close to her face, the fact she could barely breathe in this claustrophobic box. Nothing worked. The only thought revolving in her mind was the fact if she didn’t get out of here soon, she was going to go batshit crazy on the tech behind the glass to her left.

“A little longer, Kate.”

Great. Fabulous. Just what she wanted to hear. She knew not to move—that would only prolong her misery—but this little test had already taken way longer than it should. What the hell was he doing in there, throwing a party?

Patience had never been her strong suit. Her doctors had told her that lack of patience was probably the reason she hadn’t stayed dead in the first place—that she’d given up waiting for the light to get stronger and had decided just to turn around and come back because she’d grown impatient. Kate wasn’t convinced of that fact—she didn’t remember any light. She didn’t remember much of anything. But thanks to the trusty staff at Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas, Texas, her “death” had lasted only a mere ninety seconds. Ninety seconds that had changed her life forever.

She had no memory of the car accident that had left her snazzy Mercedes in a lump of twisted metal. No memory of the driver of the other vehicle who’d walked away while she’d lain on a cold slab fighting for her life. No memory of her life before the accident, period. But she’d learned one very important lesson that day: some things in life were worth fighting for.

Her mind drifted to Jake, their anniversary and the special dinner she had planned. Seven years… It didn’t feel like seven years. In many ways, it felt like she barely knew him. The past eighteen months had been a blur of tests and more tests, settling into life in Houston, reacquainting herself with her husband and their friends all over again. A side effect of the accident he’d told her, one they’d get through together. Except…he traveled so much for work, it seemed like she was doing all that reacquainting by herself.

She wanted to sigh but knew not to. Okay, so he was dedicated to his job. He loved his work. She had to admire his passion. So what if their marriage was far from perfect? No one had a perfect marriage. But she’d been given a second chance. She planned to make the most of it.

She quietly rejoiced when the machine buzzed again and the table began retracting from the tunnel. Done. Finally. Twenty minutes of hell. And she hadn’t needed to flip the tech off after all. A smile curled her lips at the thought.

The tech emerged from the screening room and unstrapped Kate’s head and shoulders from the restraints. “Not so bad. How are you feeling?”

Kate sat up and rubbed the long scar on the side of her scalp. “Like a sardine.”

He chuckled. “I hear that a lot. You’ll need to hang around for a bit while we review the images and make sure we got everything we need.”

She nodded, knowing the routine. She’d been through it before, and this wouldn’t be the last.

She dressed then headed out into the waiting area where TVs flickered with a surreal image. Several people gathered around the three screens, staring at what looked like a war scene. Flames and billowing smoke, sirens blaring, lights flashing. Prickly fingers of fear ran over Kate’s skin as she watched the horror unfold on the screen.

The camera zoomed in on plane wreckage. A ticker across the bottom of the screen flashed “Breaking News.”

“The crash happened at roughly ten-forty five, Pacific Time. Flight 524 from San Francisco to Houston crashed just after takeoff. Witnesses say the plane burst into a fireball only yards from the runway. NTSB officials are on scene, and an investigation is already under way. Early reports estimate there are no survivors.”

The air caught in Kate’s lungs. She scrambled for her purse, one strap sliding down her arm as she frantically searched among receipts and fruit snacks for the note Jake had left her. His flight information and where he’d been staying for the conference in San Francisco.

“Kate? Is everything okay?”

She didn’t look up to see who was talking to her. Couldn’t focus. The purse slipped off her shoulder, landed at her feet with a clank. She dropped to her knees, frantically pawing through the contents, looking for his note. It wasn’t the same flight. It couldn’t be. He was probably landing right this minute. He’d laugh when she told him she’d dumped her entire purse on the floor at the clinic.

“Kate? What is it? What do you need?”

Vaguely, she realized Gina, the nurse, was helping her. Tears blurred her eyes. She shook her head. “A note. Jake’s note. I have to find it. I have to—”

“We’ll find it. Relax. Just breathe. I’m sure everything’s okay.”

She drew a deep breath, let it out. Gina was right. She was overreacting. Jake was fine. Blinking back tears, she scanned the floor and finally spotted Jake’s slanted handwriting on a slip of paper just to the right of her hand. Her fingers shook as she drew it close so she could read the words.

My flight info:

Outgoing: Houston to San Francisco, Flight # 1498

Return: San Francisco to Houston, Flight # 524

The paper slipped out of her fingers. The room spun. Blackness circled in.

The CT scan, the anniversary dinner she’d shopped for earlier, the last eighteen months of her life swirled behind her eyes and mingled with Gina’s voice, muffled now, calling to her from what seemed like a great distance. Only one thing made sense. Only one thought remained.

Her life had just shifted direction all over again. And this time, death had won.

“You really need to eat something.” Mindy, Kate’s next-door neighbor, set the steaming mug of tea on the kitchen table in front of Kate and sat in the chair to her right.

Without looking, Kate knew Mindy’s freckled features were drawn and somber. The woman had adored Jake. Everyone had. None of their friends had known about his mood swings. Or the fact he purposely stayed away from home. Or that he and Kate fought about his work. But they didn’t need to know those things now. No one did.

“Thanks.” With shaky fingers, Kate wrapped her hands around the mug, holding on to the warmth. “I think I might just be ill if I smell one more cup of coffee.”

There’d been a steady stream of friends through the house all afternoon and into the early evening. This was the first quiet moment Kate had found. And now…now she wondered why she’d wanted it.

“The tea should help you relax,” Mindy said, pushing her red hair over her shoulder. “It’s been a long day. How about a little soup?”

Kate shook her head. Food was the last thing on her mind. Her stomach would revolt if she tried to eat. Waving a hand, she blinked back tears that wanted to fall. She wasn’t going to give in again. Not now. She’d save the waterfall for when she was alone. In that big bedroom she was too used to sleeping in all by herself.

“I’m not hungry.” Silence enveloped the room. She knew Mindy disapproved, but she had a thousand other things on her mind besides food. “God, Mindy. I have so much to do.”

Mindy’s hand clamped over hers on the table. “There’s plenty of time for all that.”

“No. If I don’t get it all taken care of, I’ll go nuts.” She leaned back in her chair. “I can’t stay here.”

“You have to give it time. You can’t make rash decisions right now.”

“No. This house was his idea. Living here…” Her eyes slid shut. “He made every major decision in our lives.”

“He was your husband. And you’ve been through so much this last year and a half with the accident. Of course he made all the decisions. It’s logical given your medical history.”

Her medical history. The memory loss. It had been Jake’s excuse for everything. Why he ran their finances, why he arranged it so she was never alone, why he’d chosen which publisher she freelanced for.

She should have insisted he include her in decisions. She should have played a bigger role in planning for a day like this. She didn’t even know where to look for his life insurance policy.

Her stomach rolled, and she swallowed back the bile. Leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table and her head in her hands, she knew she needed to get as far from this house as possible. She’d felt the pull to leave months ago, but she’d fought it because of Jake. Because her life was here. Now…now she didn’t know what to think anymore.

“Jake was the one who loved Houston. Not me.” Her head throbbed. She wasn’t taking pain medication tonight. Not when her mind was already in a fog.

“It’s your home, Kate. You can’t just leave. Jake’s family’s here.”

A pathetic laugh erupted from Kate’s lips. “He and his father haven’t spoken in more than a year. The man barely even acknowledges he has a grandson. That’s not the type of family I want for Reed.” No family was better than that in her mind.

“Just promise me you won’t make any spur-of-the-moment decisions. Please?”

Concerned brown eyes gazed into Kate’s face. Mindy wouldn’t get it. Not really. She wouldn’t understand that this feeling of not belonging had been festering for a long time. That it had been haunting her ever since the accident. And tonight wasn’t the night to get into it with her.

Kate squeezed Mindy’s hand. “Sure. I’m not really thinking clearly tonight.” Rising, she took the untouched mug of tea to the sink. “I need to turn in. Thanks for everything today. I don’t know how I would have gotten through it all without you.”

Mindy rose from her seat and rested both hands on Kate’s shoulders. “Will you be okay tonight? Reed’s already asleep upstairs, but I could take him over to my house if you need some time alone.”

Kate looked to the kitchen stairs that led up to the second floor where her four-year-old son was sound asleep, then shook her head. She hadn’t told him the news yet. She didn’t want him hearing it from the neighbors. “No, but thanks. I need to be with him if he wakes. We’ll be fine.”

“I’m always here for you, Kate. Remember that. If you need anything, I’m just across the street.”

“Thanks.” Kate forced a smile she didn’t feel.

With a quick hug, Mindy made her way to the front of the house. When the heavy mahogany door clicked shut, Kate turned and surveyed the empty house. She was alone. Totally alone. No car would be pulling into the drive in the middle of the night. Jake wouldn’t come bounding through the door, apologizing for missing yet another dinner. She wouldn’t see his face or feel his arms around her again. It didn’t matter if he’d been a lousy husband. He’d been her husband. And now he was gone. From now on, it would just be her and Reed.

Shaky lips blew out a long sigh. She tamped down the grief that wanted to pour over her again. Even though it was close to midnight, she knew there was no way she’d be able to drift into a slumber, peaceful or otherwise.

Making her way into Jake’s office, she rubbed the chill from her arms, then sank into the chair behind his desk, letting the butter-soft leather cushion her aching body. With trembling fingers, her hand feathered the dark wood in front of her.

Her gaze washed over the room. A tall bookshelf graced one long wall. Medical books packed the shelves from floor to ceiling. A computer blinked on the short arm of the L-shaped desk. A picture of Reed smiling in the summer sun faced her.

Jake’s room, Jake’s things. She’d rarely come in here because it was his private space. An odd sense of unease settled over her as she sat in his chair.

She flipped on the Tiffany lamp sitting next to the phone and fanned through the stack of mail on the corner of his desk. The mundane task took her mind off details she had yet to address, calmed her frayed nerves.

Bills, a renewal for a medical journal, a letter claiming they’d won ten-million dollars in a sweepstakes. She tossed junk mail into the garbage can at her knee, sifted Jake’s professional mail into one stack, their personal mail into another.

She reached for the letter opener in the pencil holder and found it missing. Pulling open a drawer, she pawed through the contents, then another when she couldn’t find it.

In the back of the third drawer, she found it, along with another unopened letter. Kate shook her head, a melancholy sensation deepening her sadness. Reed had probably put these here. He was always getting into stuff he shouldn’t. Jake always got so upset when Reed moved his things.

But no one would have to worry about that anymore. With renewed sadness she ripped open the letter and glanced at the bill in her hand. Her brow creased when she saw her name. She reached for the envelope she’d just torn. Jake’s medical office was listed as the address on the outside, but it was clearly a bill for her time in the hospital after her car accident. A revolving balance showed an amount of ten thousand dollars still owed.

Jake had told her their insurance had covered everything. Looking closer, she realized it wasn’t a hospital bill at all, but an invoice from a nursing home.

Nursing home? That wasn’t right. She’d been in the hospital for a little more than a week. Four days in a coma in ICU, another three until they moved her to a regular room, then five on the med/surge floor recovering from her injuries.

She looked at the bill again.

San Francisco.

No, that wasn’t right either. The accident had happened outside Dallas. She’d been driving home from a geology conference in Ft. Worth. Her journal had been covering the event. She’d never even been to San Francisco.

The dates of service were wrong as well. They spanned more than two years.

Her hands shook as she set the invoice on the desk. A chill settled over her.

Medical records. Jake was meticulous about his files.

She swiveled toward the file cabinet and flipped through the files, looking for one with her name.

Nothing.

She yanked open the second drawer. Taxes, appraisal information on the house, medical journals he belonged to. The man even had a file with all his grades from college. He was OCD to the max.

But where were her files?

Impatience settled over her, a dismal feeling she didn’t want to acknowledge. She yanked open the third drawer, breathing out a sigh of relief when she saw medical folders for Jake, Reed, and herself.

Yes, it would be here. Someone had screwed up, billed the wrong person.

She drew her folder open on the desk, flipped through the stack of forms. A claim for stitches in her toe when she’d stepped on a piece of glass last month. A dental claim when she had to have a tooth repaired last spring. Medical updates from Dr. Reynolds, the neurosurgeon she’d been seeing since the accident. Forms and evaluations spanned the last year and a half of her life, then stopped.

No records on her pregnancy, none on Reed’s birth. Nothing from her stay at Baylor University Medical Center where she’d been treated after the accident.

They had to be in different folders. Something separate, marked “delivery” and “accident”. She closed the drawer, reached for the bottom one. It wouldn’t budge.

She pulled again, only to realize it was locked.

She fumbled through the drawers of his desk, searching for a key. An odd sense of urgency pushed her forward. She tried the few keys she found but none fit the lock. Swallowing the growing lump in her throat, she pawed through his shelves.

Still no key.

The blood rushed to her head, intensifying that dull ache around her scar.

She scrambled up to the bedroom they’d once shared and yanked open his dresser drawers, fumbling through socks and underwear and old T-shirts.

It had to be somewhere. He wouldn’t have locked the drawer and thrown away the key. Her fingers skimmed cotton and finally settled on cold metal.

Pressure settled on her chest as she pulled the key ring from the back of the drawer. Two keys glittered in the low light, one bigger than the other. On wobbly legs, she made her way back down to the office, kneeling on the floor in front of the file cabinet.

Don’t open it. Forget about the key. Forget about the drawer. Forget about that stupid bill. Nothing good can come from this. You’ve already been through enough today.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. Before she could change her mind, she turned the key in the lock. The drawer gave with a pop.

Inside, a long metal box rested on the bottom of the drawer. She set it carefully on the desk, then sat in his chair and rubbed damp palms along her slacks. The second key slid into the lockbox with ease.

Drawing in a deep breath, she opened the lid. Medical forms, evaluations, bills filled the box. She extracted each paper, scanned the dates and contents. All referenced the nursing home in San Francisco. All mentioned dates two to five years in the past.

According to the papers, she’d been in a coma for almost three years, not four days. Reed had been born by C-section when she’d been in that coma.

Her eyes slid shut. It couldn’t be. She’d had a long labor—over twenty-four hours. Jake had held her hand through the pain. She’d been wheeled into surgery when the labor had stopped progressing. Jake had been with her as her son was cut from her. He’d told her all about it. He’d relayed the story of Reed’s birth so many times, she could see it in her mind.

Tears pooled in her eyes. She looked at the papers again as her brain warred with what she’d been told and the facts in front of her.

There were no pictures. No pictures of her pregnancy. None anywhere in the house. Jake had told her it was because she’d hated being pregnant, that she didn’t want to remember what she’d looked like.

But there were none of her smiling in a hospital gown, either. None of her nursing her baby. She’d believed him when he’d said he’d forgotten the camera the day Reed was born.

She ran to the family room, yanked picture albums off the shelves, flipped through each page. Jake holding a newborn Reed. Jake giving him a bath. Jake feeding him his first solids. Oh, God. Jake smiling with him on his first birthday. In every picture, it was Jake. Not a single one of her and Reed until after his second birthday.

Panic washed over her. She’d always assumed she’d been the one taking the photos. She’d never even questioned it. Rubbing a hand over the pain in her chest, she tried to rationalize the moment. Couldn’t.

He was a doctor. He was her husband. She’d believed him. It had never even occurred to her not to. Why? Why would he lie?

No, no, no. This can’t be real.

On legs that threatened to give out, she made her way back into his office. Her eyes focused on an evaluation from a neurosurgeon she didn’t recognize.

Damage to the lateral cortex of the anterior temporal lobe as a result of

severe trauma. Prognosis: memory loss, possibly permanent and irreversible.

Permanent memory loss. Coma. Three years.

Choking back tears, she continued flipping through the forms. Her stomach pitched when she saw Jake’s signature on several of the papers. He’d been an attending physician.

Her attending physician.

No, no, no. Her husband never would have been allowed to oversee her recovery. Never. Not in a million years. She wasn’t a doctor, but she knew the rules.

Sweat beaded on her neck, trickled down her back. There had to be an explanation. Something. Anything!

She lifted each paper out of the box in an urgent need to find the truth. Questions continued to swirl in her mind, memories she wasn’t sure were real or contrived. When she drew out the last paper, the floor moved under her feet.

Her legs buckled, and she dropped into the chair. In the bottom of the box rested a photo. Her breath clogged in her throat. With shaking fingers, she extracted the picture, just as a stabbing pain cut right through her heart.

It was a photo of a young girl, roughly five years of age. She was sitting on a boat. Water sparkled behind her. Trees glinted off in the distance. A young girl with a disturbingly familiar face, a curly mop of brown hair, and the greenest eyes Kate had ever seen.

Kate’s eyes. The same shape, size, color…the same exact eyes Kate stared at everyday in the mirror.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

The air clogged in her lungs. And a place deep inside told her this girl couldn’t possibly be anything other than her daughter.