44 Charles Street

Chapter 21

CHRIS COULD HEAR Marya and Francesca in the kitchen with Ian when he got home. Charles-Edouard was cooking something for them. And Chris went upstairs, took a shower, and changed his clothes. He was still shaken by what he had almost done to her. He had been terrified all the way back from Miami. He never knew what kind of life-threatening situation she would put their son in.

He looked shaken and subdued as he walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Ian looked up at him with the thousand-year-old eyes that ripped Chris’s heart to shreds.

“Where’s Mom?” He was worried, and afraid that his father was angry at him. He wasn’t. He was scared. By what had happened, what could have happened, and what he had almost done. It was a wake-up call to him. He couldn’t let her get to him again. Ever. He had almost lost control.

“I sent her to your grandfather’s. He’ll know what to do with her.” He would take her back to rehab, for the ten millionth time, and she would walk away again. Until one day she was dead. Chris didn’t need to kill her. She was already dead, and had died years before when she started shooting up. She had done it even before they met. He just didn’t know. “She’ll be okay, Ian.” For now. For a while. But not for long. She’d never be okay again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I was very worried. I don’t want you going off with her again. You can see her, but there has to be someone there.” Ian nodded, and Chris walked toward him and gave him a long hug. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” He had seen it a thousand times before. He wondered how you apologize to your son for giving him a mother like that. Or worse, if he had killed her. The thought made him shudder and Ian felt it. He felt sorry for his dad.

“It’s okay. She wasn’t too bad. Just a little sick.” It was pathetic that that was his definition of “not too bad.” They had both seen her much worse. Chris wanted to take another bath, to scrub his insides and his mind, and all the memories from Ian’s memory too. But he knew he couldn’t do that. And one day Ian would have to sort it all out for himself. It was the legacy she had left him. They had been to hell and back with her. Chris turned and saw Francesca then for the first time. He hadn’t even noticed her when he walked into the room. He smiled at her and saw how upset she was too. It had been a horrifying scene, and it only got worse after she left.

“Thank you for bringing Ian home.” He sat down at the kitchen table, and Francesca sat down next to him and looked into his eyes.

“It’s okay, Chris. You’re both going to be fine.” She smiled at Ian then, and he cuddled up next to her, and she took him in her arms. “Well, that was a little bit of excitement.” She smiled at Ian, and he laughed, and they all slowly began to unwind.

Marya made them something to eat, and then she and Ian showed Chris and Francesca all the Christmas decorations they’d made over the weekend. The little tree looked beautiful, and Ian looked proud. And little by little the nightmare they’d just been through began to slip from their minds. It could have been much worse.

“Why don’t we all go up to Vermont next weekend?” Marya suggested. “It’s probably going to be our last chance, and it would be fun to be there together.” Francesca loved the idea. It was where their life as a couple began. Ian loved the idea too, and even Chris smiled.

It wasn’t until late that afternoon that Chris had a moment alone with Francesca in her room.

“I’m sorry you had to see that. It’s not a pretty part of my life.” He was as ashamed as though he had done it. He was more ashamed at what he had almost done to his ex-wife.

“It’s not your fault,” she said quietly, and put her arms around him. “I’m glad I was there.”

“So am I.” He might have been even crazier if she weren’t.

He kissed her, and felt as though he were being lifted out of the past. With her, it was a whole new life. Kim was the nightmare, and Francesca was the dream.

As Marya had suggested, they all went to Vermont that weekend, and they all had a good time. They played in the snow, went for long walks, and took photographs of each other. They went to local restaurants and taverns. Chris took Ian to a nearby ski resort early Sunday morning, rented skis, and took a few runs with him. They all wanted to cling to every minute. They didn’t know when they’d be together again. Charles-Edouard decided it for them.

“You’re all coming to the South of France next summer. Marya and I are going to rent a villa. In July. We want the three of you to come over.” Ian clapped his hands and looked thrilled, and Chris and Francesca agreed. Marya and Charles-Edouard were coming to Vermont in August, so they would see them again then. This wasn’t the last chapter in their friendship. It was just the beginning. They were all starting new lives now. Chris had told Ian that morning that he was moving upstairs with Francesca, and Ian was going to have his own room from then on.

“That’s good,” Ian said solemnly, “’cause you snore.” Francesca laughed when he said it.

“Now you tell me,” she said, but she was relieved that Ian wasn’t upset.

They sang Christmas carols in French and English on the ride back to New York, and Marya had given them the keys to the house in Vermont and told them to use it whenever they wanted. It was going to be wonderful for them.

Ian fell asleep on the drive home. And Chris carried him in when they got back. He stirred for a minute and looked at his father as though he had something important to tell him.

“Can we get a dog?”

Chris laughed. “Sure. What kind of dog?”

“A Great Dane,” Ian said with a sleepy smile.

“Forget it. Maybe a dachshund, or a Lab.” Ian nodded and went back to sleep in his father’s arms. And a minute later he put Ian on the top bunk and covered him with a blanket, and then he walked upstairs to see Francesca. She was unpacking from the weekend in Vermont, and she turned and smiled when he walked in. He couldn’t believe his good luck in having found her. And she felt the same way about him.

“Can I sleep here tonight? My bunk mate is dead to the world.”

“Sure.” She liked the idea too. It had been nice sharing a room with him all weekend, and hard to be apart once they got home.

He lay in bed, watching her undress and put on her nightgown. He could hardly wait to watch her do that every night.

“I’m really going to miss Marya,” she said sadly, as she got into bed next to him. He slept in his T-shirt and boxers. His socks were on the floor with his jeans and shirt. He was already at home in her bed.

“We’ll see them in Europe next summer. That’ll be fun.” She nodded. And they were both excited to use the house in Vermont. It was an incredibly generous gift to them. They were very special friends.

“Do you think they’ll get married?” Francesca asked him as they lay in the dark in her bed. She loved having him there next to her, and waking up with him in the morning.

“Probably. They act like they already are.” Francesca was looking forward to getting to that point with Chris. They weren’t there quite yet. In some ways it was going to be good for them to have the house to themselves, although they would all miss Marya and Charles-Edouard.

“Goodnight,” Francesca whispered to Chris, as she cuddled up next to him and drifted off to sleep. Chris smiled at her, and lay looking at her for a long time. And then he drifted off too and held her in his arms all night.