A Cowboy Comes Home

Seven

All the way back from Lyndon, Caleb told himself he had done the right thing by giving Mandy the option to change her mind. It was the honorable thing to do, and he didn’t regret it for one minute. Though he’d desired her beyond reason, he couldn’t ignore the fact that she wasn’t worldly, she was a family friend, and compared to the women he normally dated, she was quite innocent-in a fresh, compelling way that even now had him wishing he could have thrown caution to the wind.

Damn it.

He had to get her out of his head.

He pushed the door to the Terrell ranch house open, forcing himself to walk into the quiet gloom. Without Mandy or Danielle here, the place seemed to echo around him. He dropped the small duffel bag he’d bought in Lyndon onto the floor of the hall, flipped on a light and made his way into the living room.

Ghosts of his memories hovered in every room, in every knickknack, in every piece of furniture. He’d liked it in Lyndon. It had been a long time since he’d worked that hard physically, longer still since he’d had that sense of community and accomplishment.

He wondered what was going on at the Jacobses’ place. He pictured Mandy, imagined her voice, her laughter, her jokes and the convoluted rationale for her contrary opinions. He missed her arguments most of all.

The vision disappeared, and the silence of the house closed in around him. A small, family portrait propped up on the mantel, seemed to mock his presence.

He moved closer, squinting at it.

The picture had been taken when Caleb and Reed were about fifteen. His father had dressed them up, gathered them together in the living room and insisted on wide, happy-looking smiles. Seeing it now, all Caleb could remember was that his father had screamed at Reed earlier that day, pushing him to the ground and demanding he resand an entire section of fence because of some perceived flaw.

He lifted the photo. If he looked closely, he could see that Reed’s hands had been bleeding. Closer, still, and he could see his and Reed’s brittle eyes. His mother had the haunted look that Caleb remembered so vividly. Though he’d pushed the memories away after he’d left, the fear that he hadn’t known the half of his mother’s anguish rushed back now.

If he’d known back then what he knew now, he’d might have taken a shotgun to his father. He should have taken a shotgun to his father. He’d have spent the rest of his life in jail, but his mother would have lived, and his brother would have been spared ten years of hell.

He glared at his father’s expression, the false smile, the ham fists, the mouth that had spewed abuse, sending fear into the hearts of everyone around him.

Caleb’s hand tightened on the frame.

Before the impulse turned into a conscious thought, he reflexively smashed the picture into the stone hearth. Glass shattered in all directions, the wooden frame splintered into three pieces, mangling the photo. He gripped the mantel with both hands, closing his eyes, concentrating on obliterating the memories.

“And you really think selling the place will bring you closure?” Mandy’s voice was soft but implacable from the entryway.

Caleb straightened and squared his shoulders. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“No kidding.”

“I need a shower.” He turned on his heel, heading for the staircase, stripping off his shirt as he crossed the room. He wasn’t fit company right now. And he wasn’t going to let himself take his temper out on Mandy. What he needed was to scald some of his anger away.

Hopefully, when he finished, she’d have the sense to be gone.

He hit the top of the stairs, and pivoted around the corner, tossing his shirt to the ground and reaching for the snap of his jeans. He passed his brother’s room; a shiver ran up his spine. His feet came to a halt, and he stood still for a long moment, gritting his teeth, his fists clenched, a sharp pain pounding through the center of his forehead. He swallowed hard, then kept walking, slamming the bathroom door behind him.

He twisted the taps full on and finished stripping off his grimy clothes. Then he wrestled the shower curtain out of the way and stepped into the deep tub. Under the pulsing spray, he scrubbed his body, shampooed his hair, then he stood there, staring at the familiar tile pattern until the water finally turned cold.

He turned the taps to Off, and the nozzle dripped to a stop while he valiantly tried to stuff his memories back into their box. He was beginning to realize he never should have come here.

There was a tentative rap on the bathroom door. “Caleb? You okay?”

He flung the curtain aside in frustration. “Go home, Mandy.”

There was silence on the other side.

“I mean it,” he shouted. The gentleman in him was exhausted, and he didn’t have the fight left to keep his hands off her. She needed to get far away.

“Right,” came a short, angry response. It was followed by a few footfalls and then silence.

Thank goodness.

He methodically toweled off, then rubbed a circle in the steam of the mirror. Once again, he borrowed his brother’s shaving gear, telling himself that getting cleaned up, eating a decent meal and getting a good night’s sleep would give him some perspective. The memories were from ten years ago, not from yesterday. It would be easier to get rid of them this time.

Finished shaving, he wiped his face and tossed the towel into the hamper in the corner of the bathroom. Naked, he turned and opened the door, and found Mandy sitting cross-legged on the floor across the hall.

He barked out a pithy swearword, while she quickly turned her head, squeezing her eyes shut.

“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded.

“I didn’t want to leave,” she squeaked, coming to her feet, face turned to the side, eyes still squeezed shut. “You seemed really upset downstairs.”

“And you couldn’t have foreseen this? ” He wrapped a towel tightly around his waist, stuffing in the loose end.

“At our house, we don’t… I mean, there are six of us living there.”

“Well, there’s nobody else living here.” There was no need for him to cover up to cross the hall.

“Sorry.”

Her contrite voice took the fight right out of him. It wasn’t her fault. What the hell was the matter with him, anyway?

“Don’t worry about it.” Truth be told, he was more sorry about giving her an eyeful than he was about being seen naked. He couldn’t care less about that.

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” he offered.

She opened one eye and cautiously peeked back at him.

He propped his bare shoulder against the doorjamb and folded his arms over his chest. “What are you doing here, Mandy?”

“We haven’t had a chance to talk. You know, alone. Since…”

“Since you turned me down that morning in Lyndon?” It had been the topmost thing on his mind, too.

Her brows went up. “You mean, since you turned me down.”

That sure as hell wasn’t the way he remembered it. “You were the one who said you preferred breakfast.”

“You were the one who said I should think about it.”

“So?”

Her voice rose. “So, who tells a girl who’s kissing him back to think about it? ”

“Someone who’s a gentleman and not a frat boy.”

“I thought you’d changed your mind.”

“I thought you’d changed yours.”

She took a step toward him. “So, what you meant was…”

He straightened away from the doorjamb and met her in the middle of the hall, letting his desire for her pulse free once more. “What I meant was that you needed to be sure.”

“I’m definitely not sure,” she admitted.

“That’s what I thought.” He swallowed his disappointment, and he told himself he had no right to be annoyed.

In the silence that followed, she lifted her index finger and pushed it tentatively toward his bare chest. Before she could touch him, he snagged her wrist and held it fast. His gaze bore into hers. “I’m not going to let you do this to me again.” He was a man, not a saint. And she’d have to practice her little seduction games somewhere else.

She took a step in, brushing up against him, her eyes going smoky, her lips slightly parted in an invitation that was clear as day. “So, your answer is no?”

He gave his head a little shake. “Maybe you’d better make sure I understand the question.”

She tossed her thick, chestnut-colored hair, tipping her chin to gaze up at him, pressing closer still, and he braced himself to hold them both steady.

“The question, Caleb Terrell, is do you want to make love with me?”

Before he could form a conscious thought, his lips swooped down on hers, kissing her deeply, drinking in her sweet, fresh taste. He bracketed her face with his hands, backing her against the hallway wall, letting his fingertips explore the satin of her skin, the softness of her hair. He kissed her a second time, and a third and a fourth, desperately wishing the moment could last forever.

When he finally forced himself to stop, all but shaking with the effort, he breathed deeply and drew back a few inches, gazing into her eyes. With the pad of his thumb, he smoothed her flushed cheek, drinking in her extraordinary beauty. When he spoke, his voice had dropped to a husky whisper. “The answer, Mandy Jacobs, is yes.”

She smiled. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Her arms twined around his neck. He hugged her close, lifting her from the floor, kissing her deeply, crossing the short distance to his bedroom.

Moonlight filtered through the window, while a glow of light cascaded in from the hallway. Caleb set her gently on her feet. She was wearing a plain, hunter-green T-shirt and soft, faded jeans. She’d discarded her boots, and her sock feet made her seem shorter than normal.

He pulled up from the hem of her T-shirt, slowly peeling it away from her body, popping it over her head to reveal a lacy, mauve bra.

“I love your underwear,” he breathed.

She smiled, and her eyes glowed moss-green in the soft light.

He flicked open the snap of her jeans. “I want to see more of it.” He slipped his hand beneath her waistband, leaning in for a gentle kiss, stroking his thumbs along the smooth softness of her skin. Her abdomen was flat, waist indented, hips gently rounded.

One palm strayed to the mound of her breast, cupping it through her bra, feeling the distinctive pebble beneath the wispy fabric.

She gasped in response, thrusting forward, and he circled the sensitive spot with his fingertip.

He tasted her neck, kissed his way along her shoulder, sliding her bra strap out of the way.

Her palms pressed against his bare chest, smoothing their way down to his belly, as he used his free hand to push down her zipper.

“You’re overdressed.” He tugged down her jeans, slipping them off along with her socks, tossing them all to the floor. Then he stared at her for a long minute, unable to drag his gaze from her perfection.

“You’re making me self-conscious,” she complained.

He reached out, grazing his knuckles over her navel. “Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?”

“I’m a sturdy, little workhorse.”

He grinned. “Not hardly.” He slipped his hand beneath the low waist of her panties. “You’re a sexy, sculpted fantasy come to life.”

She met his gaze, and he could see her skepticism.

“That’s not a line, Mandy.” He toyed with the other bra strap, pushing it off her shoulder, staring at the picture she made, not quite believing it could be real.

With anticipation killing him, he drew her back into his arms, kissing her hot mouth, probing with his tongue, bending her backward. He tugged off the towel, then moved his hands to her bottom, pressing her close, feeling the silk of her panties against his bare skin.

Her hands went to his hairline at the back of his neck, her fingers burrowing their way upward. She kissed him back, deeply and thoroughly, small purrs forming deep in her throat.

He flicked the clasp of her bra, discarding it with the rest of her clothes, covering her bare breast with his palm, groaning at the intense sensation of her spiked nipple and the softness that molded to his fingertip.

“Tell me you have condoms,” she breathed.

“Oh, yeah.” There was no way he was stopping this time.

Her small fingers stroked the length of his chest, over his belly, across his thighs, closer and closer, until he hissed in a breath. “You are definitely killing me now.”

He hooked his thumb in her panties, stripping them down, getting them off at least one ankle before he reveled in her nakedness pressed against his. His mouth zeroed in on her breasts, feasting on one and then the other.

She whispered his name, her hands convulsing against his hair. He lifted her, pressed her back onto the bed and stretched out beside her. He kissed and caressed the length of her body. She dampened his neck, his shoulder, his chest, kissing her way down his abdomen, until he stopped her, pressing her onto her back, moving over her, letting his weight move between her spread legs.

He took a second with the condom.

Their gazes locked, hers a clouded jade, his barely able to focus.

He brushed his thumb across her lower lip, dipping it inside the hot cavern of her mouth. She suckled, swirling her tongue across the sensitive pad.

He kissed her hard, and she arched her back, twisting her hands into the quilt.

“I’m sure,” she gasped, and he arched forward.

The second he was inside her, a roaring need took over his brain. Desire pulsed to every point of his body. His hands roamed her breasts, his lips moved from her mouth, to her shoulder, tasting everything in between.

She was all motion beneath him, her breaths coming in small gasps, her body arching to meet his rhythm, her arms rigid, head tipped back and her eyes closed shut.

He lost track of time, sensation after sensation building within him. He held on as long as he could. But when she cried out his name, and her small body convulsed, he followed her over the edge, oblivion washing over him in waves.

The roaring in his ears slowly subsided. Though his muscles were spent, he braced his elbows, worried that his weight might crush her. But he didn’t want to move, didn’t want to withdraw, didn’t want real life crowding in on paradise.

When worry for her comfort trumped his longing, he moved off. But he bent one knee, laying his leg across her thighs, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into the cradle of his body, resting a palm across her warm, smooth belly to keep the connection intact. “You’re amazing,” he whispered huskily in her ear.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Glad to hear it.” He kissed her lobe, thinking he could happily start all over again.

They breathed in sync for a few minutes, and even as reality returned, a strange sense of calm stole over him.

It was odd. This was still his childhood bedroom, still the family ranch. Three oil paintings of quarter horses hung on his wall. The scents of the fields wafted in the window. And the sounds of the animals punctuated the night.

But for some reason it felt softer, the edges didn’t seem so sharp.

“What?” she asked, twisting her head to look at him in the half light.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You sighed like the world was coming to an end.”

“It’s not.”

“Are you upset?”

“No.”

She moved to a sitting position, her expression pensive. “Regrets?”

“No.” He vigorously shook his head, pulling her back down, wrapping an arm tightly around her. “Absolutely none.”

She seemed to relax, and her fingertips brushed across his chest, while her warm breath puffed on his neck. He burrowed against her thick hair and inhaled the clean, citrus scent.

“It’s funny,” he ventured. For some reason, he wanted to put the feeling into words. Unusual for him, but he plunged on. “This is the closest I’ve ever come to being content in this room.”

“That’s good.” She twisted her neck to look up at him. “Do you think maybe we banished some demons?”

“Maybe,” he allowed.

“I feel very powerful,” she joked.

“Then again-” he kept it light “-it could be that you are the most fun I’ve had in this house since my mom made chocolate mint fudge on our eighth birthday.”

She grinned. Then she sobered and drew back, eyeing him quizzically. “Wait a minute. Did I beat the fudge, or was it the other way around?”

“Not a fair comparison. Apples to oranges.”

She socked him in the shoulder. “Man, did you ever miss that opportunity.”

“Ouch. Sorry.”

“You better be. Chocolate mint fudge. Like it could hold a candle to me.”

“It could when I was eight.”

“You’re not making this better, Caleb.”

He chuckled low.

“You know,” she began, coming up on her knees. “We may be on to something here.”

He reached for her, not wanting this space between them. “Oh, I think we are. And I think we should do it again.”

She batted at his hand. “I meant, changing your perception of the ranch. Not just your bedroom. And not just with sex. But the whole thing.”

Something cold settled into Caleb’s stomach. Was she really going to turn this into a sell-the-ranch, don’t-sell-the-ranch thing?

“I know exactly how we could do it,” she rattled on, voice decisive.

“Mandy, don’t-”

“You need to talk to Reed, really talk to Reed.”

“How the hell did Reed get into this conversation?” Annoyance put an edge to Caleb’s voice.

She stopped. She blinked.

He tried but didn’t quite keep the edge out of his tone. “Last time I checked, it was just you and me in this bed.”

“But… He’s your brother.”

“That means something completely different to you than it does to me.”

Caleb knew his anger stemmed from disappointment. But what had he expected? He and Mandy were still the same people. They still had divergent goals. Nothing had fundamentally changed because they’d sweated naked in each other’s arms.

She shook her head in response to his statement, her rich hair flowing with the motion. “No, it doesn’t. This land, your family, Reed. They’re all part of your history and your heritage. You couldn’t erase them by running away when you were seventeen, and you can’t erase them by selling out now.”

His annoyance was growing to full-out anger. “I did not run away.”

“Semantics.” She waved a dismissive hand. “Why did you smash the picture?”

Caleb set his jaw but didn’t answer. He’d smashed the picture because he couldn’t stand to see his father’s smug face staring out at him one minute longer.

“Why did you smash the picture?” she repeated.

“Drop it, Mandy.”

Her tone turned softer. “If you didn’t care anymore, you wouldn’t have smashed the picture.” She gave a heartfelt sigh. “Staying away for ten years didn’t fix it, did it?”

“This is none of your business,” he told her firmly. It was temporary, a blip on his radar. A few days-a few weeks, max-and he’d be back to his regular life in Chicago. The ranch would cease to exist for him. And that’s the way he wanted it.

“Do you think you’ve been repressing your true feelings?”

Suddenly, Caleb simply felt tired. He didn’t want to fight with her. Mandy was the sole bright spot in all this madness.

He reached for her, urging her back down into his arms, genuinely trying to see things from her perspective.

“If it makes you happy,” he told her. “Yes, I’ve been repressing my feelings. My childhood sucked. Reed made a stupid choice from which our relationship will probably never recover. And, I’m sorry to have to be so blunt. But there’s nothing you can do to help. I know you disagree, but I’m making the right choice.”

“It’s-”

He pressed his index finger across her warm, swollen mouth. “For me, Mandy. It’s the right choice for me.”

Her green eyes turned soft and sympathetic.

He forced out a smile. “But you’ve made it better for right now.” He couldn’t resist, so he kissed her mouth one more time. “You’ve made things much better for right now.”

Desire surging, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. She was instantly kissing him back, her soft, sinuous body wrapping itself around him one more time.

He made love to her slowly, gently, savoring every second of the peace she offered.

Afterward, they lay still and silent for a long time.

It was Mandy who finally broke it.

“I need to go home,” she whispered.

His eyes came open. “Why?” He didn’t want her to leave. He didn’t want her to move an inch, at least until morning.

But she twisted her neck to look at him. “It’s coming up on eleven.”

“You have a curfew?”

“Travis looked pretty suspicious when I left.”

“So?”

Travis’s interference was definitely not welcome in this. Whatever was between Caleb and Mandy was none of her brother’s business.

“So, if I come home after midnight, he’s going to put two and two together.”

“And?”

“And, he’ll be upset.”

Caleb propped himself on one elbow. “Are you telling me this was a clandestine fling?” Even as he said the words, he asked himself to come up with an alternative. What were they going to do? Date until he left for Chicago? Own up to her brothers that they’d slept together?

“I think that’s the best way to handle it, don’t you?”

“You’re an adult,” he reasoned out loud. “Your private life is none of your brother’s business.”

Mandy laughed. “You going to tell him that?”

Caleb was willing, if that’s what Mandy wanted him to do.

“I could tell him,” she mused with a nod. “But then there’d be a fight.”

“I’m not afraid of Travis.” Caleb had no intention of lying about his relationship with Mandy.

“I meant with me, not you. And, with everything else going on, I really don’t have the energy to fight Travis.”

“I don’t like this,” said Caleb. He wanted her to stay right where she was. He wanted to hold her in his arms all night long, maybe even beyond that.

She cocked her head, defying his mood by giving him a saucy grin. “A few minutes ago, you seemed to like it just fine.”

“I don’t want to go sneaking around behind your family’s back.”

She patted his chest. “For now, let’s just keep it quiet. Who knows what happens next between us. Maybe nothing.”

Caleb was hoping for a lot more than nothing.

“If you go ahead with your plan to sell, you know you could be gone in a matter of days,” she reasoned. There was no inflection to her tone, impossible to tell if she’d miss Caleb or not.

Then she gave a wry half smile. “You want to start world war three over something this insignificant?”

Insignificant?

“Because, believe me, Caleb, Travis is as overprotective as they come.” She glanced at her watch. “I go home now, he can wonder, but he won’t know. And if he doesn’t know, he can’t go off the deep end.”

Caleb ran his fingers through her messy hair. “This is a stupid plan.”

“But it’s my plan.” This time, there was a distinct edge to her voice. “Some decisions you get to make, Caleb. This one is mine.”

He stared at the determination in her green eyes.

“Okay,” he finally agreed. He’d keep the secret. Lady’s choice. And he didn’t kiss and tell.

The lights were on, and Travis was still up when Mandy came through the front door of the Jacobses’ ranch house. He appeared in the kitchen doorway, a screwdriver in one hand, a rag in the other.

He stared at her for a long, silent minute as she tugged off her boots and tucked her loose hair behind her ears.

He took two steps forward. “Tell me you didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?” She steeled herself for a moment then met his gaze full-on.

“Mandy.” He smacked the screwdriver and rag on top of the dining-room table. “He’ll break your heart.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She had her suspicions, but she didn’t know for sure, so it wasn’t a lie.

“What do I always tell you?” He came forward at an angle, giving her the impression he was circling in.

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific.”

“We’re not like you, Mandy. We’re guys. We’ll say anything, do anything-”

“Caleb’s not like that.”

Travis scoffed out a cold laugh. “What did he tell you?”

“He didn’t tell me anything. And I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She stomped to the sofa and flopped down, picking up this month’s Equestrian magazine and opening it in front of her. “And I really don’t want to have this conversation with you.”

Travis moved to the armchair across from her. “He’s from Chicago, Mandy. He’s not staying.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Mandy didn’t expect Caleb to stay. Her wildest wish was that he’d hang around long enough to meet up with Reed. Beyond that, she had absolutely no illusions.

“The women he goes out with,” Travis continued. “They know the score. They expect the lies. They know they’re lies.”

“Caleb has not lied to me.”

“Then how’d he get you into bed.”

Mandy determinedly flipped her way through the pages of the magazine. “None of this is any of your damn business.”

“I love you, Mandy.”

“Shut up.”

“He doesn’t.”

She glanced over the top of the magazine. “What a ridiculous thing to say. Of course he doesn’t love me. Why would he love me?”

“Then why won’t you believe I have your best interest at heart?”

“I’m not a child, Travis. I like Caleb. Caleb likes me. Despite your cynicism, that’s all there is to it. I’m not about to get hurt. And that’s all you need to know.”

“Then, why were you up there tonight?”

“He needs help,” Mandy answered honestly.

“And you’re going to be his Florence Nightingale?”

“He needs to see Reed. The two of them need to talk, really talk. You don’t know what they went through as children.” She breathed deeply, absolutely sincere in her argument.

Travis sat back, his posture relaxing. “I have a pretty good idea what they went through. I knew them both quite well.”

Mandy dropped the magazine and sat forward. “Then help me find Reed. Caleb is determined to sell the ranch out from under him. He almost did it while we were in Lyndon. If I hadn’t spoken up about the water rights, we might already have new neighbors. Reed needs the ranch, and Caleb needs Reed.”

“You spoke up about the water rights review?”

“Yes.”

“To Caleb’s potential buyer?”

She paused. “It came up in conversation.”

“And you think Caleb still likes you?” Reed asked on a note of astonishment.

“He understood.”

“Mandy, the world isn’t the happy fun place you seem to picture. People aren’t sweet and kind and friendly, looking to do each other favors 24/7.”

“Will you stop?”

“Reed and Caleb are grown men,” Travis warned her darkly. “Neither of them is going to thank you for interfering.”

Well, at least Danielle was on her side. She’d definitely thank Mandy for interfering.

“What if it was you?” Mandy asked. “What if you and Seth were estranged? Would you not want someone to facilitate your reunion? If you were about to lose the ranch, would you not want someone to help you out?”

Travis moved from the armchair and angled himself next to Mandy on the sofa. “Those two men have a very dark past. They’re not going to recognize what you’re doing as helpful. They’re going to hate you for interfering.”

“Reed would never hate me.” And she had to believe Caleb wouldn’t, either. Oh, she was under no illusion that he was falling for her in a romantic sense. But he had been a gentleman, more than a gentleman.

“Reed’s been hurt pretty bad.”

“Yes, he has,” Mandy agreed. She paused, looking directly at the brother she’d loved all her life. “And he’s our friend. Do you really want me to turn my back on him?”

Travis mouthed a swearword, rocking back on the sofa. “You shouldn’t be sleeping with Caleb, Mandy.”

“I am not going to-”

“Stop talking right now,” Travis barked. “Before you have to lie to me. If you fall for him, it’s going to be a disaster.” He paused, his mouth turning into a thin line. “Then again, if you’re sleeping with him, it’s already too late.”

Mandy felt her throat close up with emotion. She couldn’t think about her feelings for Caleb, not right now, not when so much was at stake. “I have to find Reed.”

Travis hesitated, then he reached out and rubbed her shoulder. “Okay, little sister. Okay. I’ll help you find Reed.”

“You will?” she managed.

“I will.”

“Good.” She nodded, feeling stronger already. “Great. Danielle gave me a name-”

Travis recoiled. “Danielle?”

“Yes. She wants Reed to come back, so that Caleb will go back to Chicago. There’s some Brazilian deal with a ticking clock.” Mandy waved a dismissive hand. “Anyway. She put me in touch with a private investigator. And he’s going to find Reed for us. All we have to do is keep Caleb from selling the ranch until then.”