“YOU’RE DOING GREAT, BABY,” COLTON murmurs in my ear. My head’s back on the pillow, eyes closed. He brushes my hair from my forehead, kisses the top of my hand clasped in his.
“I’m tired,” I whisper, my body feeling exhaustion like I’ve never felt before. Bone-deep. Dead-tired. And yet there is this underlying current like a livewire buzzing through me. Fueling me.
“I know, but you’re almost there,” he says, words laced with encouragement. He feels hopeless. I know he does. My big bad husband who can’t rush in to save the day for me. Who can’t do anything really but hold my hand.
I open my eyes and meet his green ones. “Are you okay?” I ask, noting the guarded emotion in his eyes and figuring he’s a little freaked out.
“Shush. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Let’s meet BIRT,” he says with a reassuring smile that gives me just what I need.
A laugh. A moment to relax, albeit brief. This man who is so full of contradictions and owns every piece of my heart. “You’re relentless.”
“And you’re beautiful.”
Tears well. I’m sure it’s the hormones surging through my body or just the connection I feel with him right now in the midst of bringing this life we’ve created into the world, but all of a sudden the tears are there. He reaches out, thumbs on my cheeks, and holds my face in his hands, shaking his head very slowly.
“Thank you,” he says. That shy smile I love ghosts his lips as his emerald eyes swell with unfathomable emotion. And I’m not sure what it is he’s thanking me for—those simple words could mean so many things—so I just nod my head ever so subtly because he has no idea how much those two words and the intention behind them mean to me.
“Another contraction is coming, Rylee. I need you to be strong. A couple more pushes and I think we are going to meet your new little miracle,” Dr. Steele says, interrupting the moment and reinvigorating my depleted energy.
“Okay.” I nod my head as Colton’s hand squeezes mine.
“Give me a good push,” she says.
A deep breath in. My whole body taut as I hold my breath and push. Dizziness hits as the ten-second count slowly comes to an end. The world fading to black as every part of my body is exhausted.
“There’s the head,” she says, pulling me from the darkness and making this all more real, more urgent than I ever could have imagined. “Lots of dark hair.”
And when I open my eyes, Colton has shifted so he can look down to see the baby. His expression when he looks back at me? Fear and inexplicable emotion in his tear-filled eyes. His jaw is slack and awe is written all over his face. Our connection is brief but intense before the mesmerizing sight of our baby pulls his eyes away from mine once again.
And as envious as I am that he gets to see our miracle first, I also know I’ll never forget his expression. The pride and astonishment etched in the lines of his face have forever imprinted in the space of my heart.