Adopted: Twins!

CHAPTER TEN

‘I’M SORRY that was sprung on you.’

Charlotte hadn’t stuck around for long. ‘With only four weeks to go I have so much to organise. Goodness, Matt, we haven’t even sent out the invitations yet. Mother and I have so much to do.’ And with that she was gone.

The twins, not understanding a word of what had been said-they’d formed the habit of tuning out whenever Charlotte was around-had left to do their allotted morning tasks, and Erin was left facing Matt.

She felt sick. What had he said? She gave herself a mental shake, hauling her thoughts together. ‘I guess you don’t have to be sorry. It’s been very generous of you to offer to have us this long, and we now have another six weeks.’

‘You can all stay for as long as you want,’ he said, more forcibly than he’d intended, and Erin gave him a half hearted smile.

‘Matt, you know that’s not possible. Six weeks will give us time to find…’

‘Erin, I want the twins!’

That startled her. She sat back and looked at him, and for the first time saw the pain and the longing behind his eyes.

Pain? Matt? Matt who’d been so careful for his whole life to keep him existence emotion free? Who was marrying Charlotte as yet another way to keep his world ordered and emotionless.

And yet there was definitely pain. And longing.

‘You want to keep them?’ she asked incredulously and he nodded.

‘Yes. Hell, Erin, they’re great kids. If I can persuade Charlotte… If I can get her used to them, then I’ll adopt them. God knows they deserved better treatment than they’ve been getting.’

‘I look after them,’ she said, and got a swift shamefaced smile for her pains.

‘Of course you do. I didn’t mean to infer that you don’t. But you know what Bay Beach is like. Like every local, I’ve heard their story, and what I didn’t know exactly I’ve heard by asking around. And I think, if Charlotte gets to like them…’

‘Do you think she will?’

‘They’ll be outside with me most of the time.’ He gave her a half-hearted grin. ‘She knows I want children and this way she won’t have to get pregnant to have them. That’ll be a bonus.’

A bonus? Was he kidding? Erin thought of the possibility of bearing babies for Matt, and she felt her heart constrict at the thought. There was a wave of almost indescribable longing…

Stop it, Erin, she told herself sharply. There was nothing down that road but pain.

‘So you’ll have a wife and family with minimum effort,’ she managed, and he nodded as if her question was entirely reasonable.

‘Yes. I could even enjoy it.’

‘You think the boys could, too?’

‘I don’t see why not?’

‘They need a mother.’

‘They can get by with just me.’

There. He’d said it. It hung between them, cold and flat, an expression of what he knew his marriage would be. An expression of all he’d learned the world held.

The twins didn’t need a mother. He didn’t need a wife.

Well, he didn’t, he thought bleakly, and why the sight of Erin, white-faced and trying desperately to disguise her desperation, should have the power to move him, to make him want to reach out and take her hands in his and hold her…

For comfort, he told himself harshly. For nothing but comfort!

‘It won’t work, Matt,’ Erin said sadly. ‘It’s a fine offer but the boys need a family.’

‘We would be a family.’

‘Nope.’

‘Erin, you can’t keep them forever. You’re being selfish.’

‘And you’re being blind.’ She rose, and she felt blind herself. Washed-out and ill. This man was so special, and he was committing himself to a woman who resembled nothing so much as a piece of cold cod fish. And he was committing because Charlotte wouldn’t interfere with his life. Because he didn’t know what a family could be.

She could show him, she thought wildly. She could teach him.

But her help wasn’t being asked for. All she could do was look out for her twins.

‘I need to talk to Tom,’ she said bleakly. ‘I can’t make any promises. If Tom says it’s okay, then it’s none of my business.’

‘Let him try.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘You heard what I said?’ There were two women and one man seated in the kitchen of Bay Beach Orphanage Home Number One. The twins were outside with the other kids, and Lori, Erin and Tom were sitting at the kitchen table holding mugs of coffee before them. The mugs were ignored. There was trouble on all of their faces.

Erin had outlined the basic facts. Lori, who’d heard an interesting version of what was happening from Wendy, was wise enough to keep her own counsel, and Tom had reached his own conclusions.

‘From what I’ve heard, Charlotte’s not the woman to make the twins happy,’ he said. ‘But the twins think Matt’s great and he can keep them under control. Okay, he’s made the offer and it’s a good one. We owe it to the boys to see if it’ll work.’

‘But-’

‘I’m not leaving them there indefinitely,’ Tom said, raising his hand to silence her. ‘Nor am I making other arrangements for you yet, Erin. We’ve put too much trouble into the boys and seen too much improvement to risk losing all our good work now. What I suggest is that we ask Matt and Charlotte to spend a weekend together before the wedding. With the boys. If, after that, they still want to go ahead with keeping the twins, then we’ll assess them as potential foster parents.’

‘Tom…’

‘It’s a gamble,’ he said, his wise eyes resting on Erin and seeing things that maybe she didn’t even realise she was showing. ‘But we’ll take it.’

It was a very long shot, Tom thought, and it wasn’t entirely the twins’ future he was fighting for here. But maybe it was worth the taking.

Erin never found out what means Matt used to persuade Charlotte to spend a weekend of her precious wedding preparations caring for the twins. All she knew was that he had.

‘Tom’s right. It’s sensible,’ he told her. ‘For us to come back from our honeymoon and have no idea how to care for the boys-well, it’ll be less of a shock for everyone if we do it this way.’

‘I don’t like to leave them,’ Erin said doubtfully and Matt thought suddenly that he knew exactly how she felt. He didn’t like her leaving either. But that was emotion speaking. If it had to be, then this was the best way.

‘You know we’re capable of looking after the boys.’

‘No one’s capable if they make up their minds to be trouble.’

‘They behave for me,’ Matt told her.

‘I know.’ But she was still troubled.

And the twins were not pleased. ‘Why do you have to go?’

She had her reason all worked out. ‘You know Shanni? She’s expecting another baby, she’s tired and her husband’s just had an operation. She needs help, and I’ve offered to give her a little holiday.’ That much was the absolute truth. If Erin had to take a break she might as well make herself useful.

‘We don’t like it when you go away.’

‘You know I had breaks as a House Mother. You coped then.’

‘But we didn’t like it,’ Henry said mutinously. ‘We always get into trouble when you’re away.’

Oh, dear!

‘You won’t get into trouble when you’re staying with me,’ Matt told them, clapping his big hands on their shoulders and smiling down at them with a no-nonsense smile. ‘Charlotte and I can look after you very well.’

‘We don’t like Charlotte.’

‘You hardly know Charlotte.’ This was stupid. Arguing with children?

‘Erin, where will you be?’ William’s eyes filled with tears, and Erin’s heart clenched. Heck, they’d wrapped themselves around her heart like a hairy worm. She loved them so much-and she had to set them free. This way was right, she told herself fiercely. This way they had a chance of what they needed most in the world. A family.

‘I won’t be far,’ she told them.

‘She’ll just be around the other side of the bay,’ Matt told them, missing Erin’s warning glance. She knew it wasn’t safe to be specific as to her whereabouts, but he didn’t pick it. ‘In fact, if we go down to the beach this afternoon and take the binoculars, you’ll be able to see Nick and Shanni’s house across the sea.’

‘Is it near?’

‘Near enough for me to come right back on Sunday night,’ Erin told them. ‘I’ll be gone for two sleeps and then I’ll be back. So no problems. Please?’

‘They’ll be fine.’ A heavily pregnant Shanni waddled into her friend’s bedroom with two cups of hot chocolate and handed one over to her friend. ‘Come on, Erin. It’s Friday night at nine o’clock and you’re worried already. By Sunday you’ll be a nervous wreck.’

‘And I should be doing this for you.’ Erin took her chocolate and grimaced in guilt.

‘Nick made it,’ Shanni said placidly. ‘He’s still on sick leave, and Doc Emily says he might as well make himself useful. Light housework is fine, she told him, and you should have seen his face when she said it. Court appearances are out, but ironing’s in.’

Erin chuckled, but her heart wasn’t in it.

‘If only I could be sure Charlotte would look after them.’

‘Hey, she’s not a monster.’

‘She’s close!’

‘Matt loves her. She must have something going for her.’

‘Matt thinks she won’t disturb his life. That’s why he’s marrying her. She’s just like his mother.’

‘Hmm.’ Shanni plonked herself down on Erin’s bed and the bed sagged alarmingly. ‘Boy, I’m huge,’ she said placidly. ‘Not disturbing his life, hey? That’s not much of a basis for a marriage.’

‘It’s what he wants.’

‘Is it, I wonder?’ Shanni asked. ‘Or is it just what he thinks he wants?’ She wiggled more comfortably onto the bed and let her mug of chocolate rest on her very pregnant bulge. The baby inside her moved and her hot chocolate splashed onto her robe. She ignored it, as if such events were commonplace.

‘Nick used to think he liked being a bachelor,’ she added contentedly. ‘And here he is and he couldn’t be happier. Sometimes…well, sometimes men don’t know what they want. Sometimes it’s up to us women to show them.’

‘I sure don’t know how.’

‘Hmm,’ Shanni said again, and the look she cast at her friend was very thoughtful indeed.

It had to be tonight. Damnation! Just when he wanted to spend the night with the twins, he was forced to leave them with Charlotte.

But he had no choice. One of Matt’s prize cows was down with her first calf, and she was in all sorts of trouble. At eight Matt rang the vet, and at ten they were both knee deep in trouble.

From dinner time on, Matt didn’t see the twins. There couldn’t be a problem with them though, he told himself, as he worked on into the night. Charlotte had decreed that dinner was to be followed by the twins’ bedtime. That should be fine. So when finally his calf was successfully born, he headed wearily for the house with only a little guilt weighing him down.

But he couldn’t help thinking it would have been better if he’d been able to say goodnight to the twins himself.

And, at first glance, things were just fine.

Charlotte was sitting placidly in the sitting room waiting for him. This was the vision he’d had when he’d asked her to marry him, he thought as he opened the door. A man should come home to this, rather than what he was accustomed to-solitude and take-away pizza.

Charlotte was looking serene and lovely, and the room was looking beautiful to match. Even though the night hardly warranted it, the wind was getting up and she’d lit the fire. The vases were filled with carefully arranged flowers. She’d waxed the furniture, and all his mother’s carefully acquired porcelain pieces had been polished.

The room looked just as it had when his mother had been alive, and he paused on the threshold for a moment to savour it.

Order and calm, and two great kids in bed, sleeping soundly.

This was what he’d always known was right, and, as he crossed the room to give Charlotte a swift kiss of appreciation, he thought finally that he’d done the right thing.

But apparently not completely. Charlotte’s nose was wrinkling in distaste.

‘Phew. Matthew, you smell.’

‘Hey, I’ve washed and taken off my boots,’ he told her, offended. This was good, clean cattle smell after all. ‘I thought I’d come and find you before I took a shower.’

‘Then think again,’ she told him calmly. ‘Cattle smells in the living room are unacceptable.’

‘But we’ve succeeded in delivering a great little calf.’ He was determined to tell her his good news. ‘Mum and calf are both well.’

‘Matt…’

‘Aren’t you interested?’

‘After you’ve showered.’

‘Fine.’

Only it wasn’t fine. He knew instinctively that if Erin was here she’d be excited for him. Sure, the flowers wouldn’t be gorgeously arranged-maybe there’d be a bunch of daisies in a jam jar-and the porcelain wouldn’t be polished but…

Hell! This was what he wanted-wasn’t it?

‘I’ll just go and check the twins,’ he said and her brow snapped down as if he’d just mentioned something else that was distasteful.

‘There’s no need. They’re asleep.’

‘You didn’t have any trouble with them?’

‘Only a stupid argument about them sleeping in the same bed. They’re too old to do that. It seems they both wanted to sleep with that disgusting stuffed toy they insist on sharing. I solved the problem by taking it away from them.’

Silence. Then…

‘You took away Tigger?’ he said cautiously.

‘Is that what they call it?’ she said, and her voice was indifferent. ‘It’s revolting. I locked it in the pantry.’

He guessed he could only be thankful she hadn’t burned it! ‘But they’re asleep anyway?’

‘Of course.’

Only, of course, they weren’t. When he checked, they weren’t even in their beds.

‘Erin?’

It was midnight. The phone had echoed through Shanni and Nick’s home, shrill with urgency, and Nick had answered it on the third ring. He’d listened in appalled silence, and then come to find Erin. Now, standing in the hall in her bare feet, she heard Matt’s fear echoing down the line.

‘What is it, Matt?’

‘Erin, the twins have gone.’

‘Gone.’ She took a deep breath, fighting down panic as she forced herself to think it through. Erin hadn’t survived this long as a House Mother by giving way to hysterics at every scare. ‘You mean they’ve run away.’

‘It looks like it.’

‘I…okay, Matt.’ She took a deep breath. ‘There’s no problem. You told them I was just around the bay, remember? They’ll be walking on the beach somewhere. I’ll come.’

‘No.’

‘N… No?’ She really took on board his fear then, and it was vivid and dreadful. It reached her heart, as his statement that the twins had disappeared had not. ‘Why not?’

‘I’ve checked. Like you, I thought of the beach first, so I took the farm bike down there straight away. But I went by the river first. Shanni and Nick’s house looks miles by beach, but it looks much closer across the water. The twins will have seen that. Erin, the rowing boat’s gone, and the tide’s running out at full pace. If they took the boat, they’ll now be well out to sea.

‘They promised they wouldn’t use the boat,’ Matt muttered. ‘They promised.’

Quarter of an hour later, Erin and Matt were in the police launch, headed out into the bay-along with half the fishing population of Bay Beach. Every boat that wasn’t already out fishing was called into action. Rob McDonald was taking no chances.

‘I want them found, and I want them found fast. If they realise they’re drifting away from land, there’s no telling what they’ll do.’

‘But they promised,’ Matt said again into the night, and there was quiet desperation behind his words. ‘Maybe we’re wrong to be looking out to sea. Maybe they haven’t used the boat. It could have broken away itself. Erin, I trusted them not to break their word.’

‘I think they’re in the boat-and I don’t think they’ve broken their vow. Or-not on their terms.’ Erin’s voice was winter-bleak.

‘Erin, I heard them promise. I trust them.’

‘And you know what I said when they promised?’ she whispered into the night. The boat was slipping out of the harbour, a flotilla of fishing boats behind them. ‘I said: “While you’re living with me you obey my rules.” And then I left them.’

He closed his eyes. ‘Erin…’

‘It’s not your fault,’ she said bleakly. ‘It’s mine. I let Tom talk me into this, and I might have known it would end in disaster.’

Dear God…

The sea mist had slipped in over the water. The night was almost eerie in its stillness. They stood alone in the bow, each feeling sick with what they might or might not find before them.

Erin didn’t know where Charlotte was. She didn’t ask. Once she’d heard about Tigger’s removal, it was maybe just as well she didn’t know.

Dear God… It was a prayer, said over and over again into the night.

Instinctively, Matt’s arm came out and held Erin hard around her waist. For a moment she resisted, but her need for comfort was too great. She let herself be pulled into him, and they stayed that way as the rolling swells of the open sea hit the boat and Rob turned the launch out of the harbour and along the bay toward the tidal outpouring from the river.

Matt and Erin didn’t move. They were a man and woman as one. With one prayer…

It was the longest night Erin had ever known.

The flotilla formed a pack. Rob and the most senior of the fishermen worked out a pattern of grid lines based on tides, currents and wind, and each boat was given a course to follow. It was a myriad of criss-crossing lines, with all hands of every boat glued to the guy ropes, and all eyes trying desperately to pierce the fog.

Somewhere in this vast sea were two little boys in a rickety old rowing boat that was never intended to be strong enough to be buffeted by waves like this.

The sea wasn’t at its wildest, but it was rough enough to frighten a grown man in an open rowing boat-much less children.

‘They don’t even have Tigger,’ Erin whispered brokenly at one point, and Matt’s arm tightened still further. He was trying to instil comfort with every ounce of his being, but at the same time he needed comfort himself.

If only… If only…

He’d been a crazy, blind fool to think this could ever work, he thought. Leaving the twins to Charlotte…

He’d been left with his mother, and he still remembered the coldness. If his father hadn’t been there-if he’d had an Erin to run to…

It might have been him in this damned rowing boat, he thought, and there was something of the lost and lonely child in the look he cast out over the water. Please let the boys be safe, he said to himself and finally out aloud. ‘Please…’

‘Matt?’

‘Mmm.’ He could hardly hear. Every ounce of his being was concentrating on trying to pierce the fog. He was willing the boys to appear.

‘Whatever happens,’ Erin said softly. ‘Matt, whatever happens, the boys know that you’ve loved them. That’s meant so much.’

‘Not enough,’ he managed.

‘You’re not to blame for this.’

‘I am.’ He closed his eyes for an instant before pushing them wide to continue searching. ‘I am to blame.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I didn’t have the courage to change my life. As I should have done. As I will if I ever have the chance again. Please…’

And finally, just before dawn, they found them.

There was a shout across the water from one of the fishing boats, and then another shout as the boat on the intersecting grid saw what they’d seen.

Immediately every nose of every boat swung into the same point, and Matt and Erin almost fell over the bow in their effort to see.

When they finally did, the fishing boat that had first seen them had seized the rowing boat with a grappling hook and was trying to haul it alongside.

Which was easier said than done. The grappling hook was too short. The rowing boat hit the fishing boat with a sickening crunch, the next wave hit before there was time to lower a man to reach the children, and the fishing boat was forced to pull away. If it hadn’t, they ran the risk of crunching the row boat to splinters.

Floodlights played out over the water. The children were crouched low in the boat, clinging to each other in terror.

Rob pulled the police launch in close, but it was so rough he could do nothing. Half filled with water, the old wooden boat was threatening to capsize with every movement. And the twins didn’t look up. The men’s shouts and the noise of the engines over the roar of the sea was only increasing their terror.

It was too much for Erin. Before anyone could stop her-before anyone could even realise what she intended-she’d grabbed a lifevest and jumped into the water.

One second later, Matt followed.

It took Erin precious minutes to clamber into the rowing boat, and she’d darn near capsized it as she did. But she was born and bred by the sea. The Douglas children had always had boats, mostly home-made by themselves, and there were always too many children in them. She was an expert in keeping old tubs afloat.

And blessedly her self-taught skills didn’t let her down. By the time Matt’s head appeared, dripping, as he clung to the side, she was holding her two little boys to her as if her life depended on it, and she was able to move backwards to stabilise the boat and let Matt haul himself on board.

And then she had the sense to shift again to the middle. So that once he was safely on board, Matt could take all of them into his arms. It was sandwich squeeze of half-drowned adults and kids, who held each other as if they’d never let each other go again. Forever.

Around them the flotilla of fishermen and police watched with blatant approval and the odd goofy smile. This was the happy ending they’d all wanted so badly.

They should move. They should get the old tub into the lee of the harbour so they could shift the kids out of it.

They should.

But for this moment, no one moved at all. It was as if everyone knew that, right there and then, a family was being forged that would take more power than the sea to split asunder.