Aftershock

10

“HE’S JUST BEING stubborn.” Angelo shook his head and took a long drink of his soda. “You know how Vincent gets.”

“He misses you,” Denise agreed, shoving a cluster of French fries into a pool of ketchup. “Try calling him again.”

“He hangs up as soon as he hears my voice.” I slid my chair closer to the table so that a woman could squeeze by behind me. The diner near my work was packed and we’d been lucky to snag seats.

“But thanks to caller ID,” Denise said, “he knows it’s you before he answers. He could just let it go to voice mail if he really didn’t want to talk.”

I picked at the bun of my hot dog, struggling with a lack of appetite. I’d been on the outs with Vincent for nearly two weeks, and the Rossis had finally decided enough was enough. My mother had called the day before, and Nico had followed up that night. Angelo and Denise hit me up at work to meet them for lunch. I half expected my dad to show up for dinner.

“Gianna.” Denise set her hand over mine. “Come by the loft and see him. Work this out. You’re both miserable.”

“Better yet,” Angelo caught my eye, “move back in. You shouldn’t be living alone in Jackson’s apartment.”

That was the only upside to fighting with Vincent: it’d given me a reason to stay in the penthouse even though Jax had been staying away.

“Is Jackson still calling you?” Denise asked, dunking more fries.

I nodded. “Every night.”

He’d tell me he missed me. He was working hard and didn’t want to bring it home. But he didn’t say more than that, leaving me in an odd place. Had we broken up and he just couldn’t say it? Was he calling just to see if I’d moved out so he could move back in?

That wouldn’t explain why he spoke to me like a lover who was away on business.

Angelo’s lips tightened. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but this is for the best, Gianna. He was changing you into something you’re not. It was never going to work out.”

At night, when I was lying in bed alone, my thoughts followed the same path to the same conclusion. Deanna’s story had never materialized, but whatever she’d said or done to get the story pulled at the last minute got her fired. I had a hard time living with that.

“I love him,” I said. “As much as you love Denise. You might be surprised what you’d do if someone was threatening to spread her personal business all over the place.”

“No, I wouldn’t be. I get that part of what you did. But Jackson’s world is different and you know it. It’s not the life for you,” Angelo insisted, looking for a moment like our father did when he was breaking hard news to us.

I spent the rest of the afternoon at work thinking about what I needed to do to get my personal life back on track. Professionally, things were rolling along smoothly. Chad was comfortable with me again and working well with Inez and David. The design of the launch restaurant had been decided and construction was well under way. Lei stayed on top of things, but didn’t smother me. I still went in to work grateful every day and I shared that gratitude with Jax. The wariness I’d once felt about discussing my work with him was gone. I trusted him to want good things for me.

It was weird in a way. The mess with Deanna had made some parts of our relationship feel stronger than ever and yet we were apart again. I couldn’t figure that out.

I headed to Rossi’s after work. My family was right; it was time to fix things with Vincent.

He was working happy hour at the bar when I came in, but he spotted me straight away, scowling for a moment before returning his attention to the drink he was mixing. His serving style wasn’t the same as Nico’s. He didn’t flirt shamelessly, but he got the same number of girls following him with their eyes everywhere he went. The dark and broody thing worked for him.

I snagged an empty barstool and watched him work. There were a few contenders trying their hand at capturing his attention, but he was eyeing me, I knew, even though he didn’t spare me another glance. The same couldn’t be said about our parents, who couldn’t stop looking our way every few minutes.

When Vincent neared to serve a beer to the guy sitting on my right, I broke the ice and said, “I’m sorry.”

He sucked in a deep breath and straightened his spine. Then he grabbed the five spot tip off the bar, rapped his knuckles on the polished wood in thanks, and dropped the cash in the tip jar. “I’m taking ten,” he told Jen, the gal working the bar with him.

“Got it,” she said, giving me a smile.

Vincent met me on the other side. “Office,” he said, gesturing me ahead of him with an impatient wave of his hand.

It was impossible not to be reminded of Jax when I entered the back office, but I pushed the memory from my mind and faced my brother.

I got to the point. “I need you to forgive me.”

He crossed his arms. “I did that a while ago.”

“You did?” I blinked through the rush of relief that had me leaning heavily against our dad’s desk. “Then why won’t you talk to me?”

“To punish you. Plus, I don’t want to hear any excuses about what you did. If being with Jax means losing who you are, you need to get out.”

“He didn’t have anything to do with how I handled Deanna. I don’t know why he told you that.”

“Because he knows he did.” Vincent held up a hand to cut me off. “I’m walking out of here if you don’t understand this real quick: you dealt with the situation like a Rutledge, not a Rossi, and you learned how to be like that from him.”

I let that sink in. Then I took a second to glance at the family portrait on the wall, before finally nodding my agreement. “You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.” He ran a hand over the top of his head, then made a sudden grab for me, enfolding me in a hug.

I started bawling. I hadn’t expected it, hadn’t even known it was bottled up in me until I was wrapped in love and safety again.

Vincent cursed and gripped me tighter. I knew he hated tears and had a hard time dealing with crying women, but I couldn’t stop and it felt so good to let go.

“Cut it out,” he muttered, with his lips at the crown of my head.

“I missed you,” I sobbed.

“For fuck’s sake. I was right here.”

“I miss Jax, too. He’s been gone for days.”

His chest heaved with a sigh beneath my cheek. “I know.”

I pulled back, my breathing reduced to stuttered inhalations. “I d-don’t know what to do.”

Vincent’s jaw tightened. “Stop crying for one thing. Then stop worrying about Jax. He’s getting his shit together.”

“What? What does that mean? How do you know that?”

He stepped back. “He told me.”

I frowned and wiped at my cheeks. “Why would he tell you that and not me?”

“Because I’m probably one of the few people who won’t try and talk him out of it.”

“Can you speak English, please?”

He snorted. “I’m not smoothing the way for him, Gianna. It’s his deal, and however it goes, it’ll be up to him to lay it out for you.”

“You’re irritating me, Vincent.”

“Good. You deserve it.” He tossed an arm around my shoulder. “I’ve got to get back to the bar. I’ll make you a drink.”

“I wish you’d make sense instead,” I complained, bumping into him so he stumbled a step.

“Watch it.”

We returned to the restaurant and my steps slowed. I recognized the head of pure white hair from across the crowded room. As if he felt me staring, Parker Rutledge turned and found me. When he visibly relaxed, I knew he’d come to seek me out.

I couldn’t help but be worried. Was something wrong with Jax?

“Holler if you need me,” Vincent said, squeezing my shoulder before returning to the bar.

I watched Parker approach and hoped my eyeliner and mascara hadn’t smeared. I ran my hands over my skirt, wishing I’d taken a minute to freshen up in the ladies’ room. Jax’s dad was dressed in a sharp black suit and pale blue tie, and he looked ready to conquer the world. I was afraid I looked defeated.

“Gianna.” He pulled me into a brief hug. “I’ve been hoping to speak with you.”

“Is everything all right?”

“I’m afraid not. Can we talk?”

“Sure.” Because he looked and sounded so serious, I asked, “Would it be better to go to the penthouse?”

His lips twisted ruefully. “Jackson gave me strict orders not to bother you at work or home, although I confess I was about to anyway if you hadn’t come to Rossi’s tonight.”

I glanced over at the bodyguard who went everywhere with me. Had he tipped off Parker? Not that I cared either way.

I caught my mother’s eye and gestured at an empty table, letting her know I was taking it. She nodded and crossed it off the seating chart.

“I have to talk to you about Jackson,” Parker began the minute he settled into the chair. “He’s making a terrible mistake.”

My hands flattened on the table. “How?”

“He can’t just walk away. The game is in his blood. But more than that, he has a responsibility to this country. He has what it takes to shape the world in profound and necessary ways.”

Clearly, Parker thought I was up to speed on what Jax was doing, and I figured it might be better not to tell him I was clueless. So I puzzled it out as best I could and tried not to get too excited about the possibility that Jax was thinking about stepping away from the family business. So to speak. “I’m sure he’s doing everything he can.”

“He can’t say that until he runs for office.”

“Oh.” I’d never even considered that possibility. A game changer. The little spark of hope I felt quickly died. “I didn’t realize he wanted a career in politics.”

He leaned forward. “Jackson told me how you handled that reporter. You’re an asset, Gianna. You’re what he needs to reach the next level. With you at his side, he could make it all the way to the White House.”

The very idea scrambled my brain. “The White... Are you kidding?”

He sat back. “Don’t you believe he could do it?”

I stared at him, blown away by the grandeur of his dreams for his son. “Jackson can do anything he wants. He’s amazing.”

“Agreed.”

“As long as I’m part of his life, I’ll support him in whatever he chooses to do.” I took a deep breath. “But...”

He studied me. “But what?”

There was no easy way to say it. “Do you know that he blames the stress of a public, political life for his mother’s alcoholism?”

Parker straightened abruptly, his shoulders rolling back. “He’s stronger than she was.”

I couldn’t disagree with that. “I think he’s more worried about me.”

“I know,” he agreed, with an emphatic nod. “That’s why you have to speak to him. Tell him you can handle it. Make him believe it.”

My gaze moved to the bar and met Vincent’s. His earlier words about being one of only a few people who wouldn’t talk Jax out of “it” abruptly made sense. “Do you know where he is?”

“D.C. I can get you there.”

I looked at him. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

I’d expected to end up at the Rutledge mansion, but found myself knocking on the door to a high-rise apartment instead. Not too long ago, I would never have thought I’d be used to flying by private jet, but my life was different now. I was adjusting as quickly as I could. Still, one thing I had never learned to deal with was living without—

“Jax,” I said, when the door opened and he stood in front of me. My heart gave a little leap. He looked edible. The bespoke three-piece suit he wore didn’t soften the edge created by the shadow of stubble on his jaw and the slightly too-long hair. His gorgeous face was leaner, his gaze intensely focused.

He didn’t say a word, just grabbed me and kissed me as if he’d been dying of thirst and I was a cool glass of water. I wrapped my arms around his neck and opened my mouth, letting him lick and thrust, whimpering as he ate at my mouth with erotic ferocity.

The nervousness I’d felt on the flight dissipated into oblivion. Whatever he was doing by staying away from me wasn’t because he didn’t want me anymore.

He pulled me into the house and kicked the door shut, pinning me against it. “I’ve got to take a call in a minute,” he muttered against my lips. “Then I’m going to fuck you for a really long time.”

I hit him on the shoulder. “What the hell are you doing in D.C.?”

“You know. That’s why you’re here.” He released me and backed away. “Did Parker send you?”

“He provided the means. I came because I wanted to.”

“He’ll get the hint eventually.” He turned away from me and pointed at a set of double doors to the left. “Bedroom’s in there. Get naked and wait for me.”

I bit back a smile at his arrogance, knowing he was baiting me on purpose. “Dream on.”

He glanced my way when he reached a desk set up in the living room. The apartment was considerably smaller than the penthouse in New York and barely furnished. There was a sofa and coffee table, but no television or artwork. Only the desk had anything on it, and it was littered with pens and loose papers.

“I’ve done nothing but dream of you the past two weeks.” He picked up his smartphone and leaned back against the front of the desk. “I’ve always seen white picket fences in your eyes when you look at me. I was positive I wasn’t that guy. I was wrong. One of these days, when you’re ready, I’ll give that dream to you. And you’re going to give me a gorgeous little girl or two with your dark curly hair and smiles that slay me.”

My chest tightened. “Jax...”

His phone rang and he answered it. “Dennis...No, you heard right, which is why I wanted to touch base with you about reaching out to Parker going forward...No, he won’t be bringing me up to speed. I’m out.” He looked at me. “I’m getting married. Yes, that’s a good thing...Thank you. Good luck in the next election, Senator.”

I watched him kill the call and set his phone on the desk.

He crossed his arms. “You’re still dressed.”

“I don’t sleep with engaged guys.” I fought to stand still while excitement pounded through me. There was something different about him. Something that reminded me of the Jax I’d met in Vegas. I liked it. A lot.

“I didn’t say I was engaged—” his mouth quirked up on one side “—yet. Didn’t say I wanted to sleep, either.”

“You’re awfully sure of yourself.”

“You’re crazy about me.”

“Or just plain crazy.” I crossed my arms, too. “Is this where you’ve been?”

“Mostly.”

“And you couldn’t tell me that?” We were standing across the room from each other, but I felt a powerful pull, as if he were actually tugging me closer.

“Made myself a promise not to bring any more crap to our doorstep for you to deal with. I had to see my way clear first.”

“Clear of what, exactly?”

“Everything except you and Rutledge Capital.”

I rubbed at my chest. “I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“No, but it had to be done. And I wanted to give you time to fix things with your family and to decide whether or not you can forgive me for putting you in that position.” Scrubbing at his jaw, he said hoarsely, “Watching you deal with Deanna... Seeing you and Vincent hurting like that... It shredded me, Gia. I hated myself for putting you through that.”

“It’s all right now. We worked everything out.”

“I’m glad. But it wouldn’t have been the last time.” He shrugged out of his jacket. “All that bullshit I was feeding you about being strong and dealing with it? Famous last words. I said the same things to my mother the last time we spoke, and I think they killed her. They killed the hope in her that she could save me from the life she hated.”

“No.” My heart broke at the guilt and shame I saw on his face. “Don’t beat yourself up like that.”

“I deserve it.” He rubbed wearily at the back of his neck. “I’ll find a way to live with it. I was young. Thoughtless. High on my own self-importance and so certain my dad was a goddamned national hero. I didn’t care that his ambition was destroying our family.”

He looked at me fiercely. “I’m not doing that to us. Nothing is worth losing you again. Nothing.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, loving him more in that moment than I ever had. “Not even the White House?”

Jax laughed, his dark eyes sparkling with humor. “He told you about that dream, huh? That was never going to happen. I think Parker looks at me and deludes himself into thinking that he’s looking in a mirror.”

I could believe that.

“I’m not going to live the life he wants, Gia. I’m going to live the life he should have had. I’m going to marry a sweet girl from a great family, and I’m going to keep her sweet and protected and happy. We’ll have a few kids, a couple dogs, and the occasional barbecue with her overprotective brothers.”

“Is that enough excitement for you?”

“Absolutely. Especially if I can get you out of those clothes.”

I walked over to him and placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating strong and steady through his vest. “I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to make sacrifices for me that you’ll regret.”

Setting his hand over mine, Jax pressed his lips to my forehead. “The only time I’ve ever been happy is when I’m with you. As for the rest of it...I felt like I needed to own those words I said to my mother, otherwise what was the point of saying them and causing her that pain? No one can say I’m not stubborn,” he said with a rueful twist to his mouth. “It’s too late to fix what I did to her, but it’s not too late to avoid making the same mistake with you.”

Closing my eyes, I leaned into him. Did he realize that with all the talk of picket fences and children, it was his raw honesty that bound me to him tighter than vows ever could? “I love you.”

His mouth curved against my skin. “I know. And I’ll never doubt it, not after this.”

“Your dad is going to have a hard time letting you go,” I warned, pulling back to study him.

Jax shrugged, but his jaw was set with determination. “Just so long as you don’t let go.”

“Don’t worry.” Lifting onto the tips of my toes, I nipped his lower lip with my teeth and smiled when he growled. “I’m stubborn, too.”