Anew

27

A single tear was all Scarlet was able to pull from the numbness inside her. But it was enough.

She let the tear well up against her lowered eyelid before spilling out onto her cheek.

I’m going to die.

Alone.

The tear slid down her face as a cool breeze drifted across her skin, and the trail of wetness chilled against her cheek. Numb everywhere else, Scarlet reveled in the cold feeling on her face.

If only she could conjure up another tear to trickle iciness down her skin.

She tried, but no additional tears came.

Unanswered questions in her head blurred inside the numbness.

She inhaled deeply, her thoughts a repetitive mantra.

I’m going to die.

Alone.

What was the point of living if only to die? Her eyes still closed, Scarlet listened to the forest.

Crunch, crunch.

More leaves being broken, their forms fragmenting beneath the weight of something real, something heavy. Something coming her way.

Crunch, crunch.

A squirrel? A bear?

Scarlet didn’t care.

Let the bear eat her, she had nothing more to live for.

Because I’m going to die.

Alone.

Scarlet tilted her head as her heart began to pound.

She heard someone inhale and, for a moment, the sound filled her with hope. Like she had a reason to breathe.

A soft exhale, slow and steady, drifted into her ears.

She opened her eyes and saw Tristan standing above her.

Her heart perked up even more, beating wildly.

Almost as if it recognized him.

And maybe it did.

Maybe Tristan’s blood, resting in the center of her chest, knew he was nearby and responded to him.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.” Her voice was small.

He fixed his green eyes on her face, studying her for a minute. “So, today sucks.”

She breathed out a humorless laugh. “Yep.”

His eyes trailed across her body, seated cross-legged on the broken leaves and dirt. “Aren’t you cold on the ground?”

Scarlet shrugged. “I like being cold.”

She didn’t like being cold, but the chill—and the forest air passing in and out of her lungs—were the only things she could feel at the moment.

And she was desperate to feel.

He hesitated a moment, then slowly took a seat beside her on the dirt. “I like being cold too,” he said, his body heat tickling the side of her arm.

Scarlet stared straight ahead and nodded.

She was sure he didn’t like being cold anymore than she did.

But still he sat beside her.

Several minutes floated by, fading into the air along with the setting sun. Neither of them said anything as they sat together.

Breathing.

A bird chirped, a few leaves fell, and the wind rustled gently through the trees.

Otherwise, there was silence.

Scarlet turned her head to look at the boy next to her. He was handsome and strong. Exactly like Gabriel but…not.

He turned and looked directly at her, their faces just a foot apart, and gently said. “Everything is going to be okay.”

She looked at his face, and her heart softened as a realization came over her.

She wasn’t alone.

She was scared and overwhelmed, but she wasn’t alone.

She had Heather, who made her feel normal and loved.

She had Laura, who’d given her a home and stability.

She had Gabriel, who’d cared about her for centuries, apparently.

And she had Tristan, who…well, she didn’t know what Tristan’s role was in her life. But he was there, in the cold forest with her, and that was enough.

Something about him brought her peace. And she needed peace.

Because she was going to die.

“I’m scared,” Scarlet said absently.

Tristan looked up at the trees for a moment as the wind blew softly. “I know.” His voice sounded sad.

Because she was afraid and because she wanted to vent, Scarlet mused, “What’s the point of life if you live only to die? If I have no past, and I probably won’t have a future, then I have no real…meaning, right? What’s the point of all that?”

Tristan was silent for a few moments, looking at the leaves before them. “Life isn’t about the past and the future. It’s about today.” He paused. “It’s about five minutes from now and two seconds ago. It’s moments, you know? Not years. Years aren’t what define us.”

Scarlet wrinkled her brow. “But…if you know your moments are numbered, are you really living at all?”

“Oh, yes,” he said seriously. “Even more so than those of us who think we have endless moments. Knowing death is nearby gives you a chance to live…deliberately.”

Scarlet watched a leaf fall to the ground, lying dead among the other leaves on the forest floor. “A brief life seems pointless.”

Tristan thought for a moment. “Isn’t that what life is, though? A brief opportunity to exist? A short gift?”

Scarlet inhaled. “Maybe. But I’m still scared. Of death.”

Tristan’s hand brushed across the broken leaves in front of them. “Death,” he said, looking up at the trees, “is only scary for a life without meaning.”

Scarlet looked up at the trees as well. “But that’s just it…my life has no meaning…it’s…empty.”

From the corner of her eye, she saw a sad smile tug at Tristan’s mouth. “Your life has had more meaning than a thousand lives put together.” A few more leaves fell. “You don’t remember how beautiful your life has been…but someday you will. And…I,” he cleared his throat, “Gabriel and I…won’t let you die this time…. So,” he turned to look at her, “you have nothing to be afraid of.”

Scarlet turned her eyes to his for a few moments.

A breeze swept past, sending a shiver through her.

Scarlet eyed him, feeling the depth and sincerity of his words rest against her failing heart.

She wasn’t alone in this vicious cycle of life and death.

She wasn’t alone at all.

In that moment, staring into the green eyes of a familiar stranger, something grew inside Scarlet.

Something full and hopeful and brave.

Her chest tightened and her heart pounded harder, as strength filled her soul.

Her fear was gone—smothered by Tristan’s words, by the cadence of his voice, by the warmth of his body next to hers.

Everything was going to be okay.

Not easy.

Not perfect.

But okay.

The last rays of light, in brilliant hues of orange and pink, began to slip into shadows as the sun fell behind the distant mountains. The cold blanket of night fell against the trees and crept along the woodland floor but Scarlet wasn’t cold anymore.

Tristan’s body heat seeped into her skin and curled around her chest, warming her very core.

Sensation returned to her arms, legs, fingers and toes, as the cold wind lifted and twirled her dark hair behind her. Once again, she inhaled deeply, a sense of renewal filling her lungs along with the crisp air.

Scarlet was alive and ready to take on her world—no matter how dark and unfair that world may be.

Because she wasn’t alone.

And she could feel everything.