Two days passed without Azagoth. Two days in which Lilliana did nothing but worry. She’d done her best to keep busy, helping Cat with cooking, reading in the library, and her favorite, tending to the new plant growth outside.
Not once did she try to find a way to get the chronoglass out of Sheoul-gra. She figured she still had three weeks to decide if she was truly staying, and when it came down to it, she simply didn’t want to think about leaving. Without the chronoglass, returning to the Heavenly realm would end in a life of lobotomized misery. With it, she could continue with the life she’d had, but really, what kind of life was that? She’d been busy but lonely. Happy but not content.
Could she be content here?
And where in the hell was Azagoth, anyway? Should she be worried? She didn’t think he could be in any danger, but suddenly, a million scenarios spun through her head, many involving hostile takeovers in the Inner Sanctum. Azagoth was the ultimate power down here, but what if Hades and all of the demons trapped in the Sanctum rose up against him? Could he be held prisoner? Maybe even killed?
Okay, so now she’d gotten herself into a panic, and when Zhubaal passed her in the hallway as she was on her way to Azagoth’s office, she grabbed his arm.
“Has Azagoth returned?”
Zhubaal snarled at her. “How should I know?”
“Isn’t it your job to keep track of him?”
He yanked out of her grip. “He doesn’t always inform me of every move he makes.”
“Can you at least tell me if he’s okay?”
“Of course he’s okay.” Impatience dripped from his voice. “He’s Azagoth.”
Zhubaal was really ill-tempered. She hoped Cat didn’t get involved with him. “Does he go away like this a lot?”
“Sometimes.”
So not an answer. “Okay, let’s try this. Why is he there? What’s going on?”
“It’s not my place to share.”
“Yeah? Well, he’s my mate, so you will share.”
A slow, sinister smile spread across his face. “You truly want to know?”
“No,” she snapped, her patience worn out, “I asked because I don’t want to know. What are you not telling me?”
His smile grew broader. “He went to the Inner Sanctum to visit a lover.”
“What?” Her heart clenched. “Why?”
“Why does anyone visit a lover?”
Instant, crushing hurt left her dazed and sick to her stomach. “I don’t believe you,” she croaked.
He shrugged. “Ask him yourself when he gets back. Her name is Rhona.”
Spinning around like he couldn’t wait to get away from her, he took off, leaving her shaking with rage and jealousy. After all she and Azagoth had been through, after his assurances that she’d changed his life and helped him, he could do this to her?
He’s Azagoth. He’s evil. What the hell did you expect?
No, this was wrong. Zhubaal was lying. He was, after all, a fallen angel, and everything that came out of their mouths was suspect.
Still, tears stung her eyes as she jogged toward Azagoth’s office. She had to see him. Had to find out if there was a way to get into the Inner Sanctum. Maybe a griminion could help.
But as she passed the entry to the great hall, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.
Doubling back, she peeked through the doorway. Relief flooded her when she saw Azagoth standing in front of a huge stone she’d thought was a weird piece of boring art. But now it was transparent, its surface flickering like a TV screen.
A spy stone. Interesting. The things were fairly common, but few had the power to use them. She should have known Azagoth would be one of the few.
Frowning, she inched closer. What was he watching? There appeared to be a beach in the background, and as the screen narrowed and focused, a female in a skimpy swimsuit leaped for a volleyball.
The female, a curvy redhead, sent the ball sailing back over the net. She landed gracefully, her perky breasts bouncing all over the place and drawing every male eye around. Azagoth smiled, and Lilliana’s throat burned. With a wave of his hand, the picture changed, this time focusing on a dark-haired female in tight yoga pants and a sports bra as she jogged through what looked like Central Park in New York City.
Azagoth’s smile grew wider, and Lilliana’s throat burned more. He reached out, touched his finger to the female’s face, the reverence in his expression leaving Lilliana flushing miserably.
Suddenly, the picture went blank, and he strode off toward his office. Must be a bigwig soul coming through the portal. Lilliana wondered what kind of baddie was bad enough to drag him away from the females he’d been lusting after.
The bastard.
Irrational rage such as she’d never felt before, not even when her kidnapper threatened and abused her, singed the edges of her control. As if flames were searing her from the inside, she exploded in a fury that blackened her vision and her thoughts.
With a snarl, she rushed forward on a collision course with the stone. She hit it with her shoulder with as much force as she could muster. The thing tilted, teetered, and started to right itself.
“No!” Azagoth’s furious voice startled her, but she’d committed, and now she was going to finish her mission.
She shoved the stone before it fell back into place, and with a crash, it hit the floor and shattered into a million pieces. A godawful roar echoed through the room, vibrating the air and making every statue, every portrait, tremble. Even the floor beneath her feet bucked, throwing her off balance as she raced toward the exit.
She didn’t make it.
An icy hand clamped around the back of her neck, and suddenly she was being slammed onto the ground. As the stone floor came at her face, everything went black.
Lilliana came to lying on the couch in Azagoth’s office. He was sitting across from her in his desk chair, forearms braced on his knees, head hanging loosely on his slumped shoulders.
“Why did you do that?” he asked, his voice softer than she would have expected.
Azagoth had spread a blanket over her, and as she scooched into a sit, she shoved it away, not wanting any of his kindness right now. “You swore you wanted me.”
“I do.” He was still looking down between his spread knees, his tone even and showing no signs of anger.
Was he truly calm, or was he simply back to being unable to feel emotion? If the latter, he could be on the verge of killing her and she wouldn’t know until it was over and she was nothing but a soul waiting to be reaped.
Or turned into one of his stone statues.
She shuddered. “If you want me,” she shot back, “then why did you go to the Inner Sanctum to see a lover? And why were you looking at other females?”
His head came up sharply, his green eyes blazing. “A lover? You mean Rhona? Did Zhubaal tell you that?” At her nod, he cursed. “She hasn’t been my lover for over a century. She seduced Methicore, and he killed her for it. I went to see her to get information.”
Abruptly, Lilliana felt nauseous. If he was telling the truth, she’d just made a huge fool of herself.
Holding her stomach, as if that would stop the rolling that threatened to spill her breakfast, she asked, “What about the females you were watching in the stone?”
“They were my daughters,” he said roughly. “That stone is—was—the only way I could see what was happening in my childrens’ lives.”
Oh...oh, shit.
Her breath came raw and scorching in her throat. “I thought...I thought you didn’t care about them. Methicore said—”
“Methicore is a bastard who coveted what I have,” he snapped. “This place used to be teeming with life, but he ruined it all.”
This place? She’d known it used to be green and full of creatures, but...she inhaled a sharp breath. “Your outbuildings...someone used to live there.”
“Your powers of observation are unsurpassed,” he drawled.
Ignoring the well-deserved sarcasm, she continued. “You said you built them to create a unity of sorts with the human world. But you built them for people, didn’t you? Who?”
“Memitim.” A blast of cold came from him, and she tugged the blanket over her again, not because she was cold, but because she needed a shield between them, even if it was just a flimsy piece of flannel. “For any who wanted to stay here.”
“You let them live here?”
“Let them? I wanted them here. They don’t have the powers normal angels have, and they can’t live in Heaven until they’ve Ascended to become full angels, so they’re vulnerable to demons in the human realm. I gave them a safe place to live and to train for their duties.”
“Then why did they leave?”
“Rebellion.” Reaching over to his desk, he swiped the ever-present bottle of rum off a stack of papers. “I gave them sanctuary. A place to gather in safety and prepare for their eventual Ascension. I’d intended for Methicore to become my apprentice, to take over Sheoul-gra one day.”
She blinked. “But you’re immortal. You don’t have to give this up.”
He laughed bitterly. “Give this up? Really? Do you think I like being isolated? Would you want to spend all eternity alone?” He took a swig from the bottle and then heaved it into the fireplace. It shattered, the alcohol exploding in a massive whoosh. “I wanted out. That’s why I’ve spent my entire time down here trading in information and death. I figured that eventually I’d find someone with the knowledge to get me what I wanted.” His expression became a mask of rage through which she saw flickers of his inner beast. “Then, a few centuries ago, Methicore decided he wanted to overthrow me. He and hundreds of his brothers and sisters tried to kill me. Turned out they would rather rule this realm than play guardian to humans who need them.”
She couldn’t even begin to understand how it felt to be betrayed by your children like that. Especially after he’d offered them a safe place to live and gather as a family. What a bunch of ingrates. She’d have given anything to have a family.
“Not all of them rebelled,” he continued. “A handful stuck around to serve in this realm until a few years ago, when the first Horseman’s Seal broke. It was chaos for them then. Their assigned humans were all in danger, and they were too busy to return to this realm. Many died. None came back. What little life was left here died.”
Now Lilliana felt suddenly chilled, and she gathered the blanket more snugly around her. “None?”
“One of my daughters, Idess, visits, but only when there’s an urgent matter. I can only hope that Methicore’s plan to keep everyone away won’t extend to her. She gave up her angel status to be with a Seminus demon mate, so Memitim rules shouldn’t apply.”
“You really love your children,” she murmured.
He looked at her with bloodshot eyes. “I didn’t,” he said in a strained voice. “I felt mild affection for them. Until now. Until you unlocked the box of emotions I thought was sealed tight. Now I love them.” He picked up a jagged piece of rock, and with horror she realized that it was a chunk of the spying stone she’d broken. “And now I’ll never see them again.”
Oh...God. She swallowed, desperate to keep breakfast down. “You can get another stone, right?” Her voice was shaky, hollow, shot to hell.
“Yes, but they only work to spy on those who have given their permission. By now, Methicore has probably poisoned them all against me.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry. I’ve never felt jealousy before, and I didn’t know how to handle it. That’s not an excuse, I know, but please believe me when I say I’m sorry.” She took a deep breath and met his gaze, desperate to make him see her regret. “And I’m very sorry that I judged you as a father. I think I carried my issues over to you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Your issues?”
“My father...he was...” She started to say, “Like you,” but Chaniel was nothing like Azagoth. “He was a sperm donor. Nothing more. After my mother died, he wouldn’t have anything to do with me. The bastard left me to be raised an orphan at the battle angel academy.”
“He what?” Azagoth’s jaw clenched so hard she heard bone pop. “I hope he has since pleaded for your forgiveness. And that you told him to fuck off.”
She almost laughed at that. No way she’d have told him off. She’d have taken any scrap he’d have given her. “He refuses to see me.”
Azagoth’s eyes sparked crimson. “He doesn’t deserve to be a father. He wouldn’t deserve even a viewing stone.”
The reminder of the stone she’d broken made his expression go hard and flat again, and she shoved to her feet, prepared to fall to her knees and beg his forgiveness if that’s what it took. “Azagoth—”
“Don’t.” He bounded from his chair and away from her. “I can’t deal with you right now.”
He might as well have driven a stake through her heart, that’s how badly his words hurt. “Do you want me to leave?” she asked, before realizing he didn’t know she had a thirty-day window.
“Even if you could, no.” He smiled sadly. “I told you I want you, and that hasn’t changed. If anything, I want you even more. You’re all I have left.” He backed up, lifting his hands in an almost defensive gesture. “But stay away from me. Just for now.”
With that, he slammed out of the office, and that’s when she lost it.
So much for breakfast.