2.11
Sweet Sixteen
Leave me alone! I told all of you! There’s nothing you can do!
Lena’s voice woke me from a few hours of fitful sleep. I pulled on my jeans and a gray T-shirt without even stopping to think about it. About anything other than this: Day One. We could stop waiting for the end to come.
The end was here.
not with a bang but a whimper not with a bang but a whimper not with a bang but a whimper
Lena was losing it, and it was barely daylight.
The Book. Damn, I’d forgotten it. I ran back up into my room, two stairs at a time. I reached up to the top shelf of my closet, where I’d hidden it, bracing myself for the scorching that went along with touching a Caster book.
Only it didn’t happen. Because it wasn’t there.
The Book of Moons, our book, was gone. We needed that book, today of all days. But Lena’s voice was pounding in my head.
this is the way the world ends not with a bang but a whimper
Lena reciting T. S. Eliot was not a good sign. I grabbed the keys to the Volvo and ran.
The sun was rising as I drove down Dove Street. Greenbrier, or the only empty field in Gatlin to everyone else in town—making it the location of the Battle of Honey Hill—was beginning to come to life, too. The funny thing was, I couldn’t even hear the artillery outside my car window, because of the artillery going off in my head.
By the time I ran up the steps of Ravenwood’s veranda, Boo was waiting for me, barking. Larkin was on the steps, too, leaning against one of the pillars. He was in his leather jacket, playing with the snake that curled and uncurled its way around his arm. First it was his arm, then it was a snake. He Shifted idly between shapes, like a dealer shuffling a deck of cards. The sight of it caught me off guard for a second. That, and the way he made Boo bark. Come to think of it, I couldn’t tell if Boo was barking at me or Larkin. Boo belonged to Macon, and Macon and I hadn’t exactly left things on speaking terms.
“Hey, Larkin.” He nodded, disinterested. It was cold, and a puff of breath crept out of his mouth, as if from an imaginary cigarette. The puff stretched out into a circle that became a tiny white snake, which then bit into its own tail, devouring itself until it disappeared.
“I wouldn’t go in there if I was you. Your girlfriend is a little, how should I put it? Venomous?” The snake curved its length around his neck, then became the collar of his leather jacket.
Aunt Del flung the door open. “Finally, we’ve been waiting for you. Lena’s in her room and she won’t let any of us in.”
I looked at Aunt Del, so muddled, her scarf dangling lopsidedly from one shoulder, her glasses askew, even her off-kilter gray bun coming unraveled from its twist. I leaned in to give her a hug. She smelled like one of the Sisters’ antique cabinets, full of lavender sachets and old linens, handed down from Sister to Sister. Reece and Ryan stood behind her like a mournful family in a grim hospital lobby, waiting for bad news.
Again, Ravenwood seemed more attuned to Lena and her mood than to Macon’s, or maybe this was a mood they shared. Macon was nowhere to be found, so I couldn’t tell. If you could imagine the color of anger, it had been splashed over every wall. Rage, or something equally dense and seething, was hanging from every chandelier, resentment woven into thick carpets padding the room, hatred flickering underneath every lampshade. The floor was bathed in a creeping shadow, a particular darkness that had seeped up into the walls, and right now was rolling across my Converse so I almost couldn’t see them. Absolute darkness.
I can’t say for sure how the room looked. I was too distracted by how it felt, and it felt pretty rank. I took a tentative step onto the grand flying staircase that led up to Lena’s bedroom. I’d gone up those stairs a hundred times before; it’s not like I didn’t know where they went. And yet somehow, today felt different. Aunt Del looked at Reece and Ryan, following behind me, as if I was leading the way into an unknown war front.
When I stepped onto the second stair, the whole house shook. The thousand candles of the ancient chandelier swinging over my head shuddered and dripped wax down onto my face. I winced and jerked back. Without warning, the stairway curled up beneath my feet and snapped underneath me, tossing me back onto my butt, sending me skidding halfway across the polished floors of the entry hall. Reece and Aunt Del made it out of the way, but I took poor Ryan with me like a bowling ball hitting the pins at County Line Lanes.
I stood up and shouted up the stairs. “Lena Duchannes. If you sic those stairs on me again, I’m gonna report you to the Disciplinary Committee myself.”
I took a step onto the first stair, and then the second. Nothing happened. “I will call Mr. Hollingsworth and personally testify that you’re a dangerous lunatic.” I double-jumped the stairs, all the way up to the first landing. “Because if you do that to me again, you will be, you hear me?” Then I heard it, her voice, uncurling in my mind.
You don’t understand.
I know you’re scared, L, but shutting everyone out isn’t going to make things any better.
Go away.
No.
I mean it, Ethan. Go away. I don’t want anything to happen to you.
I can’t.
Now I was standing at her bedroom door, leaning my cheek against the cold white wood of the paneling. I wanted to be with her, as close to her as I could get without having another heart attack. And if this was as near as she would let me get, it was enough for me, for now.
Are you there, Ethan?
I’m right here.
I’m afraid.
I know, L.
I don’t want you to get hurt.
I won’t.
Ethan, I don’t want to leave you.
You won’t.
What if I do?
I’ll wait for you.
Even if I’m Dark?
Even if you’re very, very Dark.
She pulled the door open and pulled me inside. Music was blasting. I knew the song. This was an angry, almost metal version of it, but I recognized it all the same.
Sixteen moons, sixteen years
Sixteen of your deepest fears
Sixteen times you dreamed my tears
Falling, falling through the years…
It looked like she had been crying all night. She probably had. When I touched her face, I saw it was still striped with tears. I held her in my arms, and we swayed while the song played on.
Sixteen moons, sixteen years
Sound of thunder in your ears
Sixteen miles before she nears
Sixteen seeks what sixteen fears…
Over her shoulder, I could see her room was in shambles. The plaster on her walls was cracked and falling and her dresser was overturned, the way a thief tosses a room during a break-in. Her windows were shattered. Without the glass the small metal panes looked like prison bars from some ancient castle. The prisoner clung to me as the melody wrapped around us.
Still, the music didn’t stop.
Sixteen moons, sixteen years,
Sixteen times you dreamed my fears,
Sixteen will try to Bind the spheres,
Sixteen screams but just one hears…
The last time I was here, the ceiling had been almost completely covered in words detailing Lena’s innermost thoughts. But now, every surface of the room was covered in her distinctive black handwriting. The edges of the ceiling now read: Loneliness is holding the one you love / When you know you might never hold him again. The walls: Even lost in the darkness / My heart will find you. The doorjambs: The soul dies at the hand of the one who carries it. The mirrors: If I could find a place to run away / Hidden safely, I would be there today. Even the dresser was marred with phrases: The darkest daylight finds me here, those who wait are always watching, and the one that seemed to say it all, How do you escape from yourself? I could see her story in the words, hear it in the music.
Sixteen moons, sixteen years,
The Claiming Moon, the hour nears,
In these pages Darkness clears,
Powers Bind what fire sears…
Then the electric guitar slowed, and I heard a new verse, the end of the song. Finally, something had an ending. I tried to put the earth and fire and water and wind dreams out of my head as I listened.
Sixteenth Moon, Sixteenth Year,
Now has come the day you fear,
Claim or be Claimed,
Shed blood, shed tear,
Moon or Sun—destroy, revere.
The guitar died out, and now we were standing in silence.
“What do you think—”
She put her hand on my lips. She couldn’t bear to talk about it. She was as raw as I had ever seen her. A cold breeze was blowing past her, surrounding her, and exhaling out through the open door behind me. I didn’t know if her cheeks were red from the cold or from her tears, and I didn’t ask. We fell onto her bed and curled into one ball, until it would have been hard to sort out whose limbs were whose. We weren’t kissing, but it was like we were. We were closer than I’d ever realized two people could be.
I guess this was what it felt like to love someone, and feel like you had lost them. Even when you were still holding them in your arms.
Lena was shivering. I could feel every rib, every bone in her body, and her movements seemed involuntary. I untangled my arm from around her neck and twisted so I could grab the pieced quilt from the foot of her bed and pull it up over us. She burrowed into my chest and I pulled the quilt higher. Now it was over our heads, and we were in a dark little cave together, the two of us.
The cave became warm with our breath. I kissed her cold mouth and she kissed me back. The current between us intensified and she nuzzled her way into the hollow of my neck.
Do you think we can stay like this forever, Ethan?
We can do whatever you want. It’s your birthday.
I felt her stiffen in my arms.
Don’t remind me.
But I brought you a present.
She held up the cover, to let just a crack of light in. “You did? I told you not to.”
“Since when did I ever listen to anything you say? Besides, Link says if a girl says not to get her a birthday present that means get me a birthday present and make sure it’s jewelry.”
“That’s not true of all girls.”
“Okay. Forget it.”
She let the quilt drop, then snuggled back into my arms.
Is it?
What?
Jewelry.
I thought you didn’t want a present?
Just curious.
I smiled to myself and pulled down the quilt. The cold air hit us both at the same time, and I quickly pulled a small box out of my jeans and dove back under the covers. I lifted the quilt up so she could see the box.
“Put it down, it’s too cold.”
I let it fall, and we were surrounded by darkness again. The box began to glow with green light, and I could make out Lena’s slender fingertips as she pulled off the silver ribbon. The glow spread, warm and bright, until her face was softly lit across from mine.
“That’s a new one.” I smiled at her in the green light.
“I know. It’s been happening ever since I woke up this morning. Whatever I think, just sort of happens.”
“Not bad.”
She stared at the box wistfully, as if she was waiting as long as she could to open it. It occurred to me that this was possibly the only present Lena would get today. Aside from the surprise party I was holding off telling her about until the last minute.
Surprise party?
Whoops.
You’d better be joking.
Tell that to Ridley and Link.
Yeah? The surprise is, there isn’t going to be a party.
Just open the box.
She glared at me and opened the box, and more light came pouring out, even though the gift had nothing to do with that. Her face softened and I knew I was off the hook about the party. It was that thing, about girls and jewelry. Who knew? Link was right after all.
She held up a necklace, delicate and shining, with a ring hanging from the chain. It was a carved gold circle, three strands of gold—sort of rose colored, and yellow, and white—all braided into a wreath.
Ethan! I love it.
She kissed me about a hundred times, and I started talking, even while she was kissing me. Because I felt like I had to tell her, before she put it on, before something happened. “It belonged to my mom. I got it out of her old jewelry box.”
“Are you sure about this?” she asked.
I nodded. I couldn’t pretend like it wasn’t a big deal. Lena knew how I felt about my mom. It was a big deal, and I felt relieved that we both could admit it. “It’s not rare or anything, like a diamond or whatever, but it’s valuable to me. I think she’d be okay with me giving it to you because, you know.”
What?
Ah.
“You’re gonna make me spell it out?” My voice sounded weird, all shaky.
“I hate to break it to you, but you’re not that great at spelling.” She knew I was squirming, but she was going to make me say it. I preferred our silent mode of communication. It made talking, real talking, a lot easier for a guy like me. I brushed her hair off of the back of her neck, and attached the necklace at the clasp. It hung around her neck, sparkling in the light, right above the one she never took off. “Because you’re really special to me.”
How special?
I think you’re wearing the answer around your neck.
I’m wearing a lot of things around my neck.
I touched her charm necklace. It all looked like junk, and most of it was—the most important junk in the world. And now it had become my junk, too. A flattened penny with a hole in it, from one of those machines at the food court across from the movie theater, where we had gone on our first date. A piece of yarn from the red sweater she had worn to go parking at the water tower, which had become an inside joke between us. The silver button I had given her for luck at the disciplinary meeting. My mom’s little paper-clip star.
Then you should already know the answer.
She leaned in to kiss me again, a real kiss. This was the kind of kiss that couldn’t really be called a kiss, the kind that involves arms and legs and necks and hair, the kind where the quilt finally slides down to the floor, and in this case, the windows unshatter themselves, the bureau rights itself, the clothes return to their hangers, and the freezing cold room is finally warm. A fire burst into flame in the small, cold fireplace in her room, which was nothing compared to the heat running through my body. I felt the electricity, stronger than what I’d become used to, and my heartbeat quickened.
I pulled back, out of breath. “Where’s Ryan when you need her? We’re really going to have to figure out what to do about that.”
“Don’t worry, she’s downstairs.” She pulled me back down, and the fire in the grate crackled even louder, threatening to overpower the chimney with smoke and flame.
Jewelry, I’m telling you. It’s a thing. And love.
And maybe danger.
“Coming, Uncle Macon!” Lena turned to me and sighed. “I guess we can’t put it off any longer. We have to go down there and see my family.” She stared at the door. The bolt unlocked itself. I rubbed her back, making a face. It was over.
The day had turned to dusk by the time we made it out of Lena’s room. I had thought we’d have to sneak down to visit Kitchen, around lunchtime, but Lena simply closed her eyes and a room service cart rolled through the door and into the middle of her room. I guess even Kitchen was feeling sorry for her today. Either that, or Kitchen couldn’t resist Lena’s newfound powers any more than I could. I ate my weight in chocolate chip pancakes drenched in chocolate syrup, washed down with chocolate milk. Lena had a sandwich and an apple. Then everything dissolved back into kissing.
I think we both knew this could be the last time we lay around in her room like this. It seemed like there was nothing else we could do. The situation was what it was, and if today was all we had, then at least we would have this.
In reality, I was as terrified as I was exhilarated. But still, it wasn’t even dinnertime, and it was already the best and worst day of my life.
I grabbed Lena’s hand as we headed down the stairs. It was still warm, which was how I could tell Lena was in a better mood. The necklaces sparkled at her neck, and silver and gold candles hung in the air, as we walked through them and beneath them, down the stairs. I wasn’t used to seeing Ravenwood looking so festive and full of light, which for a second made it feel almost like a real birthday, where the people celebrating are happy and light-hearted. For a second.
Then I saw Macon and Aunt Del. They were both holding candles, and behind them, Ravenwood was shrouded in shadows and darkness. There were other dark figures moving in the background, also holding candles. Worse, Macon and Del were dressed in long, dark robes, like acolytes of a strange order, or druid priests and priestesses. It just didn’t seem like, well, a birthday party. More like a really creepy funeral.
Happy Sweet Sixteen. No wonder you didn’t want to come out of your room.
Now you see what I was talking about.
When Lena reached the last stair she paused and looked back at me. She looked so out of place in her old jeans and my oversized Jackson High hoodie. I doubted Lena had ever dressed like this in her whole life. I think she just wanted to keep a piece of me with her as long as she could.
Don’t be scared. It’s just the Binding, to keep me safe until Moonrise. The Claiming can’t happen until the moon is high.
I’m not scared, L.
I know. I was talking to myself.
She let go of my hand and took the last step down from the landing. When her foot touched the polished black floor, she was transformed. The flowing dark robes of the Binding now hid the curves of her body. The black of her hair and the black of the robes blended into a shadow that covered her from head to toe, with the exception of her face, which was as pale and luminescent as the moon itself. She touched her throat, my mother’s gold ring still hanging at her neck. I hoped it would help to remind her that I was there with her. Just as I hoped it was my mom who had been trying to help us all along.
What are they going to do to you? This isn’t going to be some freaky pagan sex thing, is it?
Lena burst out laughing. Aunt Del looked over at her, horrified. Reece smoothed her robe primly with one hand, looking superior, while Ryan started to giggle.
“Compose yourself,” Macon hissed. Larkin, somehow managing to look as cool in a black robe as he did in a leather jacket, snickered. Lena smothered the giggles down into the folds of her robe.
As their candles moved, I could see the faces nearest to me: Macon, Del, Lena, Larkin, Reece, Ryan, and Barclay. There were also faces that were less familiar. Arelia, Macon’s mother, and an older face, wrinkled and tanned. But even from where I stood, or tried to stand, she looked enough like her granddaughter that I instantly knew who she was.
Lena saw her at the same time I did. “Gramma!”
“Happy birthday, sweetheart!” The circle broke, briefly, as Lena ran over to fling her arms around the white-haired woman.
“I didn’t think you would come!”
“Of course I did. I wanted to surprise you. Barbados is an easy trip. I was here in the blink of an eye.”
She means that literally, right? What is she? Another Traveler, an Incubus like Macon?
A Frequent Flyer, Ethan. On United.
I could feel what Lena was feeling, a brief moment of relief, even if I was only feeling stranger and stranger. Okay, so my dad was certifiable, and my mom was dead, sort of, and the woman who raised me knew a thing or two about voodoo. I was okay with all of that. It was just, standing there, surrounded by the actual card-carrying, candle-bearing, robe-wearing Casters, it felt like I needed to know about a lot more than living with Amma had prepared me for. Before they started in with all the Latin and the Casting.
Macon stepped forward in the circle. Too late. He held his candle high. “Cur Luna hac Vinctum convenimus?”
Aunt Del stepped up next to him. Her candle flickered as she raised it, translating. “Why on this Moon do we come together for the Binding?”
The circle responded, holding high their candles as they chanted. “Sextusdecima Luna, Sextusdecimo Anno, Illa Capietur.”
Lena answered them in English. Her candle flared up until the flames almost seemed like they would burn her face. “On the Sixteenth Moon, the Sixteenth Year, She will be Claimed.” Lena stood in the center of the circle, with her head high. The candlelight was cast across her face from all directions. Her own candle began to burn into a strange green flame.
What’s going on, L?
Don’t worry. This is just part of the Binding.
If this was just the Binding, I was pretty sure I wasn’t ready for the Claiming.
Macon began the chant I remembered from Halloween. What had they called it?
“Sanguis sanguinis mei, tutela tua est.
Sanguis sanguinis mei, tutela tua est.
Sanguis sanguinis mei, tutela tua est.
Blood of my blood, protection is thine!”
Lena went pale. A Sanguinis Circle. That was it. She held the candle high over her head, closing her eyes. The green flame erupted into a massive orange-red flame, exploding from her candle to every other candle in the circle, lighting them as well.
“Lena!” I shouted over the sound of the explosion, but she didn’t answer. The flame sprayed up into the darkness overhead, so high I realized there couldn’t be a roof, any ceiling at all in Ravenwood tonight. I threw my arm over my eyes as the fire turned hot and blinding. All I could think about was Halloween. What if it was happening all over again? I tried to remember what they were doing that night, to fight off Sarafine. What had they been chanting? What had Macon’s mother called it?
The Sanguinis. But I couldn’t remember the words, didn’t know the Latin, and for once I wished I had joined the Classics Club.
I heard a pounding on the front door, and in an instant, the flames were gone. The robes, the fire, the candles, the darkness and the light were gone. It all just vanished. Without missing a beat, they became a regular family, standing around a regular birthday cake. Singing.
What the—?
“—Happy birthday to you!” The last few notes of the song ended, as the pounding on the front door continued. A massive birthday cake, three tiers of pink, white, and silver, sat on the coffee table in the center of the parlor, along with a formal tea service and white linens. Lena blew out the candles, waving the smoke away from her face, where seconds before there had been billowing flame. Her family burst into applause. Back in my Jackson High sweatshirt and jeans, she looked like any other sixteen-year-old.
“That’s our girl!” Gramma put down her knitting and started to cut the cake, while Aunt Del scurried to pour the tea. Reece and Ryan carried in an enormous stack of presents while Macon sat in his Victorian wingback chair and poured himself and Barclay a scotch.
What’s going on, L? What just happened?
Someone’s at the door. They’re just being careful.
I can’t keep up with your family.
Have some cake. This is supposed to be a birthday party, remember?
The pounding on the door continued. Larkin looked up from his thick triangle of red velvet cake, Lena’s favorite. “Isn’t anyone goin’ to get the door?”
Macon brushed a crumb from his cashmere jacket, looking calmly at Larkin. “By all means, see who it is, Larkin.”
Macon looked at Lena and shook his head. She wouldn’t be answering the door today. Lena nodded and leaned back into Gramma. Smiling over cake like the doting granddaughter she really was. She patted the cushion next to her. Great. It was my turn to meet Gramma.
Then I heard a familiar voice at the door, and I knew I would rather face anyone’s gramma than what was waiting outside the door right now. Because it was Ridley and Link, Savannah and Emily and Eden and Charlotte, with the rest of their fan club, and the Jackson basketball team. None of them were wearing their daily uniform, Jackson Angels T-shirts. Then I remembered why. Emily had a smudge of dirt on her cheek. The Reenactment. I realized Lena and I had missed most of it already, and now we were going to fail history. By now, it was all over, except the evening campaign and the fireworks. Funny how an F would seem like a big deal on any other day.
“SURPRISE!”
Surprise didn’t even begin to describe it. Once again, I had allowed chaos and danger to find its way to Ravenwood. Everyone crowded into the front hall. Gramma waved from the couch. Macon sipped his scotch, composed, as always. It was only if you knew him that you knew he was about to lose it.
Actually, come to think of it, why had Larkin even let them in?
This can’t be happening.
The surprise party, I forgot all about it.
Emily pushed to the front of the group. “Where’s the birthday girl?” She held her arms out expectantly, like she was planning to give Lena a big hug. Lena recoiled, but Emily wasn’t that easily deterred.
Emily looped her arm through Lena’s like they were long-lost friends. “We’ve been plannin’ this party all week. We’ve got live music and Charlotte rented these outdoor lights so everyone can see, I mean the grounds of Ravenwood are so dark.” Emily dropped her voice as if she were discussing selling contraband on the black market. “And we have some peach schnapps.”
“You have to see it,” Charlotte drawled, practically gasping for breath between words because her jeans were so tight. “There’s a laser machine. It’s a rave at Ravenwood, how cool is that? It’s just like one a those college parties over in Summerville.”
A rave? Ridley must have really pulled out all the stops for this one. Emily and Savannah throwing Lena a party and fawning over her like she was their Snow Queen? This must have been harder than getting them all to jump off a cliff.
“Now, let’s go up to your room and get you ready, birthday girl!” Charlotte sounded even more like a cheerleader than she normally did, always overcompensating.
Lena looked green. Her room? Half the writing on her walls was probably about them.
“What are you talkin’ about, Charlotte? She looks just gorgeous. Don’t you think so, Savannah?” Emily gave Lena a little squeeze and looked at Charlotte disapprovingly, like maybe she should lay off the pie and put some effort into looking that gorgeous.
“Are you kiddin’? I would just die for this hair,” Savannah said, winding a strand of Lena’s hair around her finger. “It’s so amazingly… black.”
“My hair was black last year, at least underneath,” Eden protested. Last year, Eden had dyed the underside of her hair black, leaving the top blond, in one of her misguided attempts to distinguish herself. Savannah and Emily had teased her mercilessly, until she dyed it back a whole day later.
“You looked like a skunk.” Savannah smiled at Lena approvingly. “She looks like an Italian.”
“Let’s go. Everyone’s waitin’ on you,” Emily said, grabbing Lena’s arm. Lena shrugged them off.
This has to be some kind of trick.
It’s a trick all right, but I don’t think it’s the kind you’re imagining. It probably has more to do with a Siren and a lollipop.
Ridley. I should’ve known.
Lena looked at Aunt Del and Uncle Macon. They were horrified, as if all the Latin in the world hadn’t prepared them for this one. Gramma smiled, unfamiliar with this particular brand of angel. “What’s the rush? Would you children like to stay and have a cup of tea?”
“Hiya, Gramma!” Ridley called from the doorway, where she was hanging back on the veranda, sucking on her red lollipop with an intensity that made me think if she stopped this whole thing might fall like a house of cards. She didn’t have me to get her through the door this time. She was an inch away from Larkin, who looked amused but stood directly in front of her. Ridley was spilling out of a tightly laced vest that looked like a cross between lingerie and something a girl on the cover of Hot Rod magazine would wear, and a low-slung jean skirt.
Ridley leaned against the doorframe. “Surprise, surprise!”
Gramma put her teacup down. She picked up her knitting. “Ridley. What a pleasure to see you, dear! Your new look is very becoming, darling. I’m sure you’ll have lots of gentlemen callers.” Gramma flashed Ridley an innocent smile, though her eyes weren’t smiling.
Ridley pouted, but continued sucking on her lollipop. I walked over to where she was standing. “How many licks does it take, Rid?”
“For what, Short Straw?”
“To get Savannah Snow and Emily Asher to throw a party for Lena?”
“More than you know, Boyfriend.” She stuck out her tongue at me, and I could see it was streaked with red and purple. The sight was dizzying.
Larkin sighed and looked past me. “There’re maybe a hundred kids out there, in the field. There’s a stage and speakers, cars all along the road.”
“Really?” Lena looked out the window. “There’s a stage in the middle of the magnolia trees.”
“My magnolia trees?” Macon was on his feet.
I knew the whole thing was a farce, that Ridley was bringing this party to life with every suggestive lick, and Lena knew it, too. But I could still see it in Lena’s eyes. There was a part of her that wanted to go out there.
A surprise party, where everyone in school shows up. That must have been on Lena’s regular-high-school-girl list too. She could deal with being a Caster. She was just tired of being an outcast.
Larkin looked at Macon. “You’re never gonna get them to leave. Let’s get this over with. I’ll stay with her the whole time, me or Ethan.”
Link pushed his way to the front of the crowd. “Dude, let’s go. My band, the Holy Rollers, it’s our Jackson High debut. It’s gonna be awesome.” Link was happier than I’d ever seen him before. I looked over at Ridley suspiciously. She shrugged, chewing on her lolly.
“We’re not going anywhere. Not tonight.” I couldn’t believe Link was here. His mother would have a heart attack if she ever found out.
Larkin looked at Macon, who was irritated, and Aunt Del, who was panicked. This was the last night either one of them wanted to let Lena out of their sight. “No.” Macon didn’t even consider it.
Larkin tried again. “Five minutes.”
“Absolutely not.”
“When’s the next time a bunch a people from her school are goin’ to throw her a party?”
Macon didn’t miss a beat. “Hopefully, never.”
Lena’s face fell. I was right. She wanted to be part of all this, even if it wasn’t real. It was like the dance, or the basketball game. It was the reason she bothered to go to school in the first place, no matter how horribly they treated her. It was why she showed up, day after day, even if she ate on the bleachers and sat on the Good-Eye Side. She was sixteen, Caster or not. For one night, that was all she wanted to be.
There was only one other person as stubborn as Macon Ravenwood. If I knew Lena, her uncle didn’t stand a chance, not tonight.
She walked over to Macon and looped her arm through his. “I know this sounds crazy, Uncle M, but can I go to the party, just for a little while? Just to hear Link’s band?” I watched for her hair to curl, the telltale Caster breeze. It didn’t move. This wasn’t Caster magic she was working. It was another kind altogether. She couldn’t charm her way out from under Macon’s watch. She would have to resort to older magic, stronger magic, the kind that had worked best on Macon from the time she first moved to Ravenwood. Plain old love.
“Why would you want to go anywhere with these people after everything they’ve put you through?” I could hear him softening as he spoke.
“Nothing’s changed. I don’t want anything to do with those girls, but I still want to go.”
“You’re not making sense.” Macon was frustrated.
“I know. And I know it’s stupid, but I just want to know what it feels like to be normal. I want to go to a dance without practically destroying it. I want to go to a party I’m actually invited to. I mean, I know it’s all Ridley, but is it wrong if I don’t care?” She looked up at him, biting on her lip.
“I can’t allow it, even if I wanted to. It’s too dangerous.”
They locked eyes. “Ethan and I never even got to dance, Uncle M. You said it yourself.”
For a second, it seemed like Macon might relent, but only for a second. “Here’s what I didn’t say. Get used to it. I never got to spend a day in any school, or even walk through town on a Sunday afternoon. We all have disappointments.”
Lena played her last card. “But it’s my birthday. Anything could happen. This might be my last chance…” The rest of the sentence lingered in the air.
To dance with my boyfriend. To be myself. To be happy.
She didn’t have to say it. We all knew.
“Lena, I understand how you feel, but it’s my responsibility to keep you safe. Especially tonight, you have to remain here with me. The Mortals will only put you in harm’s way, or bring you pain. You can’t be normal. You weren’t meant to be normal.” Macon had never spoken to Lena like this. I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the party, or me.
Lena’s eyes shone, but she didn’t cry. “Why not? What’s so wrong with wanting what they have? Did you ever stop to think they might have gotten something right?”
“What if they have? What does it matter? You’re a Natural. One day, you will go somewhere Ethan can never follow. And every minute you spend together now will only be a burden you will have to carry for the rest of your life.”
“He’s not a burden.”
“Oh, yes he is. He makes you weak, which makes him dangerous.”
“He makes me strong, which is only dangerous to you.”
I stepped between them. “Mr. Ravenwood, come on. Don’t do this tonight.”
But Macon had already done it. Lena was furious. “And what would you know about that? You’ve never been burdened with a relationship in your life, not even a friend. You don’t understand anything. How could you? You sleep in your room all day and mope around in your library all night. You hate everyone, and you think you’re better than everyone. If you’ve never really loved anyone, how could you possibly know how it feels to be me?”
She turned her back on Macon, on all of us, and ran up the staircase, with Boo trailing after her. Her bedroom door slammed, the sound echoing back down into the hall. Boo lay down in front of Lena’s door.
Macon stared after her, even though she was gone. Slowly, he turned to me. “I couldn’t allow it. I’m sure you understand.” I knew this was possibly the most dangerous night of Lena’s life, but I also knew it might be her last chance to be the girl we all loved. So I did understand. I just didn’t want to be in the same room with him right now.
Link edged his way to the front of the crowd of kids still standing in the hall. “So is there gonna be a party or not?”
Larkin grabbed his coat. “It’s already a party. Let’s get out there. We’ll celebrate for Lena.”
Emily pushed her way next to Larkin, and everyone else trailed after them. Ridley was still standing in the doorway. She looked at me and shrugged. “I tried.”
Link was waiting for me by the door. “Ethan, come on, man. Let’s go.”
I looked up the staircase.
Lena?
“I’m gonna stay here.”
Gramma put down her knitting. “I don’t know that she’ll be coming down anytime soon, Ethan. Why don’t you go with your friends and check in on her in a few minutes?” But I didn’t want to leave. This might be the last night we spent together. Even if we were spending it in Lena’s room, I still wanted to be with her.
“At least come out and hear my new song, man. Then you can come back and wait for her to come down.” Link had his drumsticks in his hand.
“I think that would be best.” Macon poured himself another scotch. “You can come back in a little while, but we have some things we need to discuss in the meantime.” It was decided. He was kicking me out.
“One song. Then I’m going to wait out front.” I looked at Macon. “For a little while.”
The field behind Ravenwood was crammed with people. There was a makeshift stage at one end, with portable lights, the same kind they used for the night portion of the Battle of Honey Hill. There was music blasting from the speakers, but it was hard to hear over the cannon fire in the distance.
I followed Link to the stage, where the Holy Rollers were setting up. There were three of them and they looked about thirty. The guy adjusting his guitar amp had tattoos covering both arms and what looked like a bike chain around his neck. The bass player had spiky black hair that matched the black makeup around his eyes. The third guy had so many piercings it hurt just looking at him. Ridley hopped up, sat on the edge of the stage, and waved at Link.
“Wait till you hear us. We rock. I just wish Lena was here.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to disappoint.” Lena walked up behind us and wrapped her arms around my waist. Her eyes were red and teary, but in the dark, she looked just like everyone else.
“What happened? Did your uncle change his mind?”
“Not exactly. But what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, and I don’t care if it does. He’s being so awful tonight.” I didn’t say anything. I would never understand the relationship between Lena and Macon, any more than she could understand the relationship between Amma and me. But I knew she was going to feel terrible when this was all over. She couldn’t stand to hear anyone say anything bad about her uncle, not even me; for her to be the one saying it made it that much worse.
“Did you sneak out?”
“Yeah. Larkin helped me.” Larkin walked toward us, carrying a plastic cup. “You only turn sixteen once, right?”
This isn’t a good idea, L.
I just want one dance. Then we’ll go back.
Link headed for the stage. “I wrote you a song for your birthday, Lena. You’re gonna love it.”
“What’s it called?” I asked suspiciously.
“Sixteen Moons. Remember? That weird song you could never find on your iPod? It just popped into my head last week, all in one piece. Well, Rid helped a little.” He grinned. “I guess you could say, I had a muse.”
I was speechless. But Lena grabbed my hand, and Link grabbed the microphone, and there was no stopping him. He adjusted the microphone stand so that the mic was in front of his mouth. Well, to be honest, it was more like inside his mouth, and it was sort of gross. Link had watched a lot of MTV over at Earl’s. You had to hand it to him, since he was about to get rolled off the stage, holy or not. He was pretty brave, all things considered.
He closed his eyes, sitting behind the drums, sticks poised in the air. “One, two, three.”
The lead guitarist, the surly-looking guy wearing the bike chain, hit one note on his guitar. It sounded awful, and the amps began to whine on either side of the stage. I winced. This was not going to be pretty. And then he hit another note, and another.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, if there are any a either around.” Link raised an eyebrow and a ripple of laughter moved through the crowd. “I’d like to say Happy Birthday, Lena. And now, put your hands together for the world premiere of my new band, the Holy Rollers.”
Link winked at Ridley. The guy thought he was Mick Jagger. I felt bad for him, and grabbed Lena’s hand. It felt like I had plunged my hand into the lake, in the winter, when the top of the water was warm from the sun and an inch below that was pure ice. I shivered, but I wouldn’t let go. “I hope you’re ready for this. He’s going to go down in flames. We’ll be back in your room in five minutes. Promise.”
She stared up at him thoughtfully. “I’m not so sure about that.”
Ridley sat at the edge of the stage, smiling and waving like a groupie. Her hair was twisting in the breeze, pink and blond strands beginning to loop around her shoulders.
Then I heard the familiar melody, and Sixteen Moons was blasting out of the amps. Only this time, it wasn’t like one of the songs from Link’s demo tapes. They were good, really good. And the crowd went wild, like Jackson High was finally getting to have a dance after all. Only we were in a meadow, in the middle of Ravenwood, the most infamous and feared plantation in Gatlin County. The energy was amazing, surging like a rave. Everyone was dancing and half the people were singing, which was crazy, since nobody had ever even heard the song before. Even Lena had to crack a smile, and we began to sway with the crowd, because you really just couldn’t help it.
“They’re playing our song.” She found my hand.
“I was just thinking that.”
“I know.” She laced her fingers through mine, sending shivers through my body. “And they’re pretty good,” she said, shouting over the crowd.
“Good? They’re great! As in, the greatest day of Link’s life.” I mean, it was crazy, the whole thing. The Holy Rollers, Link, the party. Ridley bobbing on the edge of the stage, sucking on her Ridleypop. Not the craziest thing I’d seen today, but still.
So later, when Lena and I were dancing and five minutes came and went, and then twenty-five, and then fifty-five, neither one of us even noticed or cared. We were stopping time—at least that’s how it felt. We had one dance, but we had to make it last as long as we could, in case it was all we had.
Larkin was in no hurry. He was all tangled up with Emily, making out by the side of one of the bonfires someone had made out of old garbage cans. Emily was wearing Larkin’s jacket and every now and then he’d pull down the shoulder and lick her neck or something gross. He really was a snake.
“Larkin! She’s, like, sixteen,” Lena called over toward the fire from where we were dancing. Larkin stuck out his tongue, which rolled further down toward the ground than any Mortal’s could have.
Emily didn’t seem to notice. She untangled herself from Larkin, motioning to Savannah, who was dancing in a group with Charlotte and Eden behind her. “Come on, girls. Let’s give Lena her present.”
Savannah reached into her little silver bag and pulled out the little silver package that was sticking out of it, wrapped with silver ribbon. “It’s just a little somethin’.” Savannah held it out.
“Every girl should have one,” Emily was slurring.
“Metallic goes with everything.” Eden could barely stop herself from ripping off the paper herself.
“Just big enough for, like, your phone and your lip gloss.” Charlotte pushed it toward Lena. “Go on. Open it.”
Lena took the package in her hands, and smiled at them. “Savannah, Emily, Eden, Charlotte. You have absolutely no idea what this means to me.” The sarcasm was lost on them. I knew exactly what it was, and exactly what it meant to her.
Stupid to the power of stupid.
Lena couldn’t look me in the eye, or we both would have burst out laughing. As we made our way back into the crowd of dancers, Lena tossed the little silver package into the bonfire. The orange and yellow flames ate their way through the wrapping, until the tiny metallic purse was nothing but smoke and ash.
The Holy Rollers took a break, and Link came over to bask in the glory of his musical debut. “I told ya we were good. Just one step away from a contract.” Link elbowed me in the ribs like old times.
“You were right, man. You guys were great.” I had to give him that, even if he did have the lollipop on his side.
Savannah Snow sauntered up, most likely to burst Link’s bubble. “Hey, Link.” She batted her eyes suggestively.
“Hey, Savannah.”
“Do you think you could save me a dance?” It was unbelievable. She was standing there, staring at him like he was a real rock star.
“I just don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get one.” She gave him another Snow Queen smile. I felt like I was trapped in one of Link’s dreams, or Ridley’s.
Speak of the devil. “Hands off, Prom Queen. This is my Hot Rod.” Ridley draped her arm, and a few other key parts, around Link to make her point.
“Sorry, Savannah. Maybe next time.” Link stuck his drumsticks in his back pocket and headed back onto the dance floor with Ridley and her R-rated dance moves. It must have been the greatest moment of his life. You would’ve thought it was his birthday.
After the song ended, he hopped back onto the stage. “We got one last song, written by a good friend a mine, for some very special people at Jackson High. You’ll know who you are.” The stage went dark. Link unzipped his hoodie, and the lights went up with the twang of the guitar. He was wearing a Jackson Angels T-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, looking as ridiculous on Link as he intended it to. If only his mother could see him now.
He leaned into the microphone and began to do a little Casting of his own.
“Fallin’ angels all around me
Misery spreads misery
Your broken arrows are killin’ me.
Why can’t you see?
The thing you hate becomes your fate
Your destiny, Fallen Angel.”
Lena’s song, the one she wrote for Link.
As the music swelled, every card-carrying Angel swayed to the anthem targeted at them. Maybe it was all Ridley, and maybe it wasn’t. The thing is, by the time the song was over, and Link had tossed his winged T-shirt into the bonfire, it felt like a few more things were going up in flames along with it. Everything that had seemed so hard, so insurmountable for so long, just sort of went up in smoke.
Long after the Holy Rollers had stopped playing, even when Ridley and Link were nowhere to be found, Savannah and Emily were still being nice to Lena, and the whole basketball team was suddenly speaking to me again, I looked for some small sign, a lollipop, anywhere. The lone, telltale thread that could come loose to unravel the whole sweater.
But there was nothing. Just the moon, the stars, the music, the lights, and the crowd. Lena and I weren’t even dancing anymore, but were still clinging to each other. We swayed back and forth, the current of heat and cold and electricity and fear pulsing through my veins. As long as there was any music at all, we were in our own little bubble. We weren’t alone in our cave under her covers anymore, but it was still perfect.
Lena pulled back gently, the way she did when something was on her mind, and stared up at me. Like she was looking at me for the first time.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I—” She bit her lower lip nervously, and took a deep breath. “It’s just, there’s something I want to tell you.”
I tried to read her thoughts, her face, anything. Because I was starting to feel like it was the week before Christmas break all over again, and we were standing in the hall at Jackson, instead of in the field at Greenbrier. My arms were still around her waist, and I had to resist the urge to hold her tighter, to make sure she couldn’t get away.
“What is it? You can tell me anything.”
She put her hands on my chest. “In case something happens tonight, I wanted you to know—”
She looked into my eyes, and I heard it as clearly as if she had whispered it in my ear, except it meant more than it ever could have if she had spoken the words aloud. She said them in the only way that had ever mattered between us. The way we had found each other from the beginning. The way we always found our way back.
I love you, Ethan.
For a second, I didn’t know what to say, because “I love you” didn’t seem like enough. It didn’t say everything I wanted to say—that she had saved me from this town, from my life, my dad. From myself. How can three words say all that? They can’t, but I said them anyway, because I meant them.
I love you, too, L. I think I always have.
She settled back into me, resting her head on my shoulder, and I felt her hair warm against my chin. And I felt something else. That part of her I thought I would never be able to reach, the part she kept closed off to the world. I felt it open up, just long enough to let me in. She was giving me a piece of herself, the only piece that was really hers. I wanted to remember this feeling, this moment, like a snapshot I could go back to whenever I wanted.
I wanted it to stay this way forever.
Which, it turns out, was exactly five more minutes.