Best Kind of Broken

62 Levi

Somehow I knew I’d find Pixie here. Not on the freeway. Not on the commonly used back roads. But on Canary Road.

She pulls over to the side, and I’m at her door before she comes to a full stop. I yank it open and stare down into wide green eyes.

“No,” I say, loud enough to be heard over the roaring wind and rain.

She blinks. “No?”

“No, we can’t be just friends.” Rain drips down my face as my heart hammers against my rib cage. “Because we’re more than just friends, and we always have been. And I’m not talking about sex, Pix. I’m talking about trust and comfort. I’m talking about home.” Lightning strikes nearby and the wind picks up. I raise my voice. “You are not my friend, Pixie. You are a piece of my heart and a part of who I want to be.”

She gets out of the car and stands in the rain. “But, Leaves—”

“I love you,” I yell, thunder echoing my words, rain drenching my clothes. “I love you when you’re Pixie and when you’re Sarah and when you’re messy and when you drive me crazy and when you scare the hell out of me. I love you, Pixie. And I know you’re scared.” I step closer so I no longer have to shout, and cup her wet face. I look into her eyes. “But you have nothing to be afraid of. I will never leave you again. Never.”

Hot tears run from her eyes, mixing with the cool rain as I run my thumb over her cheek. “So you can move to New York or fly across the world, but I want to be there too. Wherever you are. By your side. Always,” I say. “Because I’m yours. Even when you don’t want me, I’m yours.”

She puts her hands on my cheeks and halts my speech, looking into my eyes as rain beats down on us. Then she crushes her lips to mine.

I kiss her deeply, still cupping her wet face as I pull her close to me, not wanting to let go, not wanting another minute in this life of mine to pass without her here, with me.

“God, I love you,” she says in between kisses, and the words fill me like nothing ever has before. She smiles against my mouth. “By the way? I’m not going to New York,” she says. “I never was.”

I pull back slightly and scan her face, my heart pounding. “But you left.”

She nods. “I went home to get a box of my stuff from my mom’s, but I was heading down to Phoenix to move back into the dorms with Jenna so I can return to ASU this fall. I declined NYU’s acceptance a few weeks ago.”

“But… why?”

“Because I realized that this is my home. Arizona. Ellen.” She trails her eyes along the lines of my face. “You.” She looks up at me. “I didn’t want to leave. Even if I didn’t have you, I wanted to be where you were. Because I’m yours.” A playful smile pulls at her lips. “Even if you don’t want me…”

I slowly smile. “Oh… I want you.”

“Yeah?” she says, over a roll of thunder.

“Oh yeah.”

Then I’m kissing her all over again. Pixie—beautiful, wild Pixie—is mine. I’m more alive than I’ve ever been.