Black Heart

17

THE PAIN DISAPPEARED IMMEDIATELY. TITANIA WAS still throwing the spell, but I could no longer feel it. My mind had retreated to a place where her magic could not harm me, a place that was cool and dark and seething with coiled energy waiting to be loosed.

I lifted my head and looked into the eyes of the Faerie Queen. Shock spread across her face. She had been convinced that I was broken.

And I had been. But now I was born anew.

I wiped the blood from my face with my sleeve. “Stand down, Titania, High Queen of all Faerie. Or be destroyed.”

“Do you truly believe you can defeat me?” she asked. “The power of the Morningstar is diluted inside you. You are nothing but a pretender to Lucifer’s line.”

“I warned you,” I said steadily, and never took my eyes from her face. “When you are crying out for Oberon at the end, remember that I warned you. I gave you the chance to leave.”

Then I let the darkness inside me surge up. Magic filled my every pore, racing through to repair the damage wrought by Titania’s spell. The storm above us disappeared as abruptly as it had arrived, and the clouds blew away to reveal the blazing sun and the fresh blue sky of a spring day.

The heart of my power was the sun, a sun covered by the moon in a burning eclipse. I’d never truly understood this before. I had always held back, always been afraid of unleashing the full extent of my power.

I was no longer afraid.

When I’d touched the dark heart inside me in the basement, I’d felt intoxicated by the power, so overcome that it had set me ablaze. Now it felt like the power and I were one, that it moved easily within me. It would not harm me, or overtake me. It would do as I bid.

I flew toward Titania and wrapped my arms around her before she realized what was happening. Her arms were locked in my embrace. I let the darkness flow from me until it covered her, smothered her, drowned her magic in mine.

I turned the two of us upside down and arrowed toward the churning waves of Lake Michigan.

“What are you doing?” she shouted, her face furious. I could feel her magic pulsing weakly against me, but it was a small thing battering against a castle wall.

I said nothing, only held her tight to me. The darkness wrapped around her again, smothering the light that burned inside her.

Her white skin grew sickly gray, and the sparkle faded from her beautiful jeweled eyes.

“How can this be?” she said.

Then we broke the surface of the water, and went under.

It was as dark as the ocean here in the depths of the lake, and just as strange. Silence surrounded us, and still my magic worked my will without direction. The seeping, oozing darkness continued to bind Titania like a cocoon.

She struggled feebly against me, but she could not fight this. This was not a blazing magic that she could battle with her own power. This was as insidious and inevitable as the night itself, a creeping shadow that gave her no quarter.

I swam deeper, unaffected by the lack of oxygen, until I reached the very bottom of the lake. Then I removed one arm from Titania, but she no longer struggled. Her eyes were closed, and her face was still and gray as stone.

I blasted a hole in the bottom of the lake, prepared to drop Titania in it and then bury her forever. Then I hesitated. The black spell had pushed Titania’s magic to the limit, but it was still not completely doused. There was still a little flicker of flame inside her. I could sense it, like a moth battering against a streetlight. If I left her alive, she would find a way to return, to take up where she had left off.

I couldn’t leave her alive. And I would never have an opportunity such as this again.

But the problem of the magical blowback remained. I didn’t want Chicago to be leveled by an earthquake when Titania’s magic was released.

Send her through a portal.

I don’t know whether it was my own thought, or a thought directed by the magic working through me, or a message from Lucifer or Puck or Gabriel. It didn’t matter, really. I knew what I had to do now.

I closed my eyes, sent my power reaching out into the far-distant galaxies of the universe, looking for a broken place, a place that would not be harmed by Titania’s destruction.

When I found it, a place light-years from my own blue planet, I fixed its location in my mind. Then I opened a portal in the silt at the bottom of the lake, a special portal that looked like a window. On the other side of it, I could see a gray rock floating in space, circling a dead star.

I concentrated on the little light flickering inside Titania. Then, with one final push of magic, I crushed it out.

I dropped Titania through the portal just as she started to come apart.

I watched as the High Queen of Faerie disintegrated, piece by piece, into motes of dust on the surface of that faraway place.

Suddenly there was a tremendous explosion, like a star going supernova. I heard nothing. I felt nothing. I could only see the burst of light through the portal.

When the starburst was over, the little gray rock floating in space was nothing but a memory.

And so went Titania. I wondered who would rule Faerie now that Bendith and the queen were dead, and Oberon was diminished.

I swam to the surface of the lake and flew up into the blue sky, turning my face to the sunshine. The darkness still swam inside me, a live thing, and I knew that a line had been crossed. I would never be able to rid myself of it. The shadow was a part of me now.

Inside my heart, I could feel Lucifer radiating his approval.

I flew toward the city. I should have been elated, but instead I was just exhausted. Titania was gone, but I still had no home to return to. I had embraced the darkness inside me to save myself and the life of my child, but what price would I pay?

Anything that made Lucifer happy couldn’t be a good thing.

I turned north, automatically heading toward the site of my old home. Maybe I could pitch a tent in the yard or something. I was nearly to the lakeshore when I saw three figures flying toward me.

I paused and peered at the people coming into focus. It wasn’t Nathaniel or J.B. It was Bryson, and two other Agents I didn’t know. They were dressed in the black military fatigues of the Agency retrieval unit.

I rubbed my forehead tiredly. “Really? I have to deal with this now?”

I waited for them to reach me. Bryson looked surprised when he saw that I wasn’t going to make them chase me; then his expression grew wary. They stopped a few feet from me in the air, almost as if we had accidentally met on the street.

“Madeline Black,” Bryson said. “You are under arrest for defying the law of the Agency and willfully crossing into the land of the dead. You have fraternized illegally with a dead soul. You will submit to our authority and return to the Agency for sentencing, or else you will have the Retrievers set upon you.”

“Okay,” I said.

Bryson’s eyebrows winged up to his hairline. “Okay?”

“Okay, call the Retrievers,” I said. “Bring your armies. Do whatever you want. But I am not going with you.”

“You are not a law unto yourself, whatever you may think,” Bryson said angrily.

“Oh, yes, I am,” I said.

Bryson indicated to the other two with a shake of his head that they should grab me.

I gave them a look. “I just killed one of the oldest creatures in the universe. Are you sure that you want to be the one who tries to force me to come back to the Agency with you?”

Bryson’s lackeys paused and glanced at each other.

“Captain . . .” one of them began.

“I will call the Retrievers if you will not do your duty,” Bryson said, with the air of a magician pulling his best trick.

The other two visibly cowered at the thought of being in the presence of the Retrievers. I tried flying around Bryson, who grabbed my arm.

“Where are you going?” Bryson shouted. He was starting to look a little unhinged, like he just couldn’t believe that I would ignore him so completely.

“I told you, do what you want. The Agency has no authority over me anymore,” I said, shaking him off like he was a flea.

“I am going to enjoy watching the Retrievers eat your soul,” Bryson hissed through his teeth.

He pulled a small silver whistle from his pants pocket and put it in his mouth. He blew into it, but I didn’t hear anything.

“You use a dog whistle to call the Retrievers?” I said.

“I have watched from afar as you have defied the Agency, defied the very laws of the universe,” Bryson said. “You cast off your Agent’s mantle, the sacred charge that was given to you. You entered the realm of the dead and brought forth a soul even when you knew that it was forbidden. You do as you please, over and over, and I am sick of it. Now I will watch the Retrievers tear you to pieces, and I will enjoy it.”

I don’t know whether it was my intense exhaustion or the artificial boost I was getting from my acknowledgment of the totality of my power, but I just couldn’t get that worked up about the arrival of the Retrievers. Which was strange. They had been the bogeymen under the bed for as long as I’d been an Agent, and I’d fled through a portal to another world just so I wouldn’t have to tangle with them.

But now I couldn’t care less. “Let them come,” I said to Bryson.

“Agent Black,” one of the other Agents said.

I looked at him. He was young, muscular, and looked like the type who was dedicated to his job. His eyes were worried.

“I’m not an Agent anymore,” I said to him.

“But . . . shouldn’t you be running? Or fighting? Or something?” he said. “The Retrievers are pretty bad.”

“I know,” I said softly. “I’ve seen them before.”

“You have?” the third Agent said.

I nodded. “And a whole lot of other stuff that no one should ever have to see.”

A street strewn with bodies after Ramuell had destroyed it. A cave full of imprisoned nephilim, calling for my blood. My own body missing its heart, my soul floating high above my broken shell.

A maze comprised of my darkest fears and deepest secrets. A room full of children tied to machines that took away their memories.

Gabriel falling, his blood pooling in the snow.

A plaza piled high with bodies, and vampires pouring from the dark underground into the sunlight.

More demons and monsters than I could count dying beneath my sword.

Antares. Ramuell. Baraqiel. Amarantha. Therion. Azazel. Titania.

Alerian rising from the ocean. Puck’s eyes flashing with mischief. Lucifer smiling.

Yes, I had seen a whole lot of stuff no one should ever have to see.

“But, Agent Black—” the first Agent said again.

“She’s not an Agent,” Bryson spat. “She is a rogue, and should be treated as such. Stop trying to help her or you’ll be cited for insubordination.”

I looked at the first Agent and shrugged. “Don’t worry about me, kid.”

The Agent’s face hardened. “It’s not right, sir. She’s pregnant.”

“Pregnant with a monster,” Bryson said. “Her child will be a plague upon the world.”

I shook my head. “Seriously, Agent . . .”

“Hill,” the first guy said.

“Hill, don’t get yourself into trouble with the Agency,” I said. “It’s not worth the aggravation.”

Hill tilted his head to one side. “You’re really not worried about the Retrievers.”

“Nope,” I said.

I put my hands in my pockets and turned south. That was the direction they were coming from. I could feel them now that they had entered our dimension. I didn’t know where they were kept normally, but it wasn’t on our plane of existence.

Hill and the other Agent backed away a little from me. Bryson watched me avidly, practically salivating.

I started to whistle.

The Retrievers approached, their pace quickening. I sensed their anticipation. They longed for a soul to take, for a purpose. They had spent so long inside their prison.

“The Retrievers are your prisoners?” I asked Bryson.

“If we did not imprison them, they would run rampant over the world, devouring souls,” Bryson said dismissively. “We allowed them their lives. Now they can fulfill their desires in the service of the Agency.”

“You need to stop hiding behind the Agency like it’s some kind of untouchable institution,” I said. “You guys have made plenty of mistakes. And one of them was trying to chain creatures that should never have been chained.”

“You sound like you feel sorry for the Retrievers, Agent Black,” Hill said.

“I do,” I said softly.

As they got closer and closer I could feel their pain, the centuries they had suffered in the Agency’s prison. Even now, when they were allowed to run free, chains bound them so that they would be forced to return to the place they hated.

Darkness appeared in the distance. The Retrievers would be here at any moment.

When I saw the Retriever at my house, just before I’d leapt into the portal, I’d had a sense of something huge and horrible, something impossible for the human mind to understand. They sped toward us as giant, inky black shadows, contorting in monstrous shapes.

I pulled my hands from my pockets, and held them out in front of me in supplication as the Retrievers drew near. The creatures howled as they approached, their maws open, ready to devour me.

And then they stopped.

The dark magic inside me poured from my hands, reached out to the Retrievers. The creatures seemed confused. They were supposed to attack me. I poured my compassion into the darkness, and settled it over them like a balm. One of them whimpered, and the three creatures seemed to shrink in confusion. Now the Retrievers looked like nothing more than miserable, confused dogs. They looked like oversized mastiffs, blacker than the night before the dawn.

In this form it was easy to see the silver cuffs that each Retriever had around two legs. The cuffs were held there by the magic and power of the Agency. These were the bindings that forced them to return to their prison after they did the Agency’s bidding.

I studied the spell for a moment, and then waved my hand at the Retrievers. The cuffs disappeared into smoke.

The Retrievers approached me cautiously, wound around my ankles, sought affection from my petting hands. The new magic inside me let me know what they were feeling. They had not been free for eons, and I had given them this gift. They would serve me willingly. They would destroy every member of the Agency if I asked them to.

I have to admit that I was tempted, just for a moment, to set them on Bryson. As soon as I had this thought, they turned on the Agency’s captain, growling. Bryson backed up several feet, shock and terror on his face.

“No, no,” I said to my new pets. “Stay.”

Hill stared at me in amazement touched with fear. The third Agent had fled some time after the Retrievers arrived.

“Go back to the Agency,” I said to Bryson. “And tell Sokolov that if he comes after me again, I’ll deliver the same punishment to him that he would have given to me. The Retrievers are mine now.”

“Your heart is as black as Lucifer Morningstar’s,” Bryson said. “One day, someone will bring you to heel.”

“Possibly,” I said. “But it won’t be today. And it won’t be you.”

Bryson and Hill took off in the direction of the Agency. Hill looked back once over his shoulder at me, floating in midair, surrounded by the Retrievers that were supposed to destroy me.

“Now, what am I supposed to do with the three of you?” I murmured. “I hope you don’t like pizza, because I don’t think Beezle will share.”

I continued flying north again, toward the place where my house used to be. The Retrievers loped along in the air beside me. It seemed that the more doglike I thought of them, the more doglike they became. Their ears and heads grew more defined, and they all let their tongues loll out as they ran.

I flew over my street, unsure what I was doing there. I just wasn’t sure what else to do with myself. After I defeated the big bad monster, I always went home. This was where my home was, even if the house was gone.

Except that the house was there.

I landed on the sidewalk in front of the building. It looked just like the house I’d grown up in. The porch was painted red, and the paint was peeling. The bricks over the second-floor window were crumbling. Beezle’s nest of sticks and blankets was perched on the roof over the porch. Lights were burning inside on the second floor.

I walked forward as if in a dream, wondering whether this was a glamour, a trick. But the steps felt solid beneath my feet. The front door opened when I turned the knob.

I climbed the stairs to the second floor. The carpet was worn in the same places. I reached the top landing, and heard someone moving around inside my apartment. The Retrievers had silently followed me inside, and crowded around me, nudging my legs with their wet noses.

I opened the front door.

Daharan was setting the dining room table. There was an amazing array of food set up there—a roast chicken, mashed potatoes, grilled asparagus. He turned and smiled when he saw me standing in the doorway, but his smile was touched by sadness.

“How?” I said.

“Magic does not only destroy,” he said. “I thought that this was the least service I could do for you, especially since . . .”

He trailed off, shaking his head. “Not now. First, you must eat.”

I let him lead me to the table. I wasn’t aware until I sat down that I was still wet from my dunking in Lake Michigan, and that the water that drenched my clothes didn’t smell all that great.

“Um, maybe I should change,” I said.

Daharan nodded. “The meal will stay warm for you. I have contacted your gargoyle, and told him that you are well.”

“Is he coming home?” I asked.

“Soon,” Daharan said.

I went into the hallway to the bathroom, where my shampoo and soap waited for me, just as if the house had never burned down. The same towel was thrown over the rack, just as if I’d hastily left it there the day before.

The Retrievers had trailed me to the bathroom door, and I pointed them back to the dining room. “Wait for me there,” I said.

The three gigantic dogs reluctantly returned to the other room. I was going to have to come up with some names for them. I wondered what Beezle would think of the new additions to our household.

I wondered what he would think when he saw the way the darkness had spread inside me.

I showered, dressed in clothes that had magically returned to my closet, and tied my hair in a braid. My belly protruded slightly above my jeans, exposed by a too-short T-shirt. I was going to have to buy maternity wear soon.

Beezle would probably have some choice words about maternity shopping, too.

When I returned to the dining room, I found that Daharan had set my plate with heaping servings of food. The Retrievers were flopped on the furniture in the living room, resting but watchful. All three perked up their ears when I entered the room. Daharan was drinking a glass of red wine, and appeared to be brooding.

“I note you have gained some new companions,” he said, glancing at the Retrievers.

“Yes. I’m not really sure what to do with them yet. They seem to want to keep me,” I said.

“They will be powerful allies for you,” Daharan said. “They will protect your child.”

I hadn’t thought about that. Any advantage I might gain in keeping my baby safe was a good thing. I gave the three giant dogs an appreciative glance.

“They seem to be getting more doggy by the minute,” I said, putting a forkful of chicken in my mouth. It was delicious, perfectly roasted and crisp outside and juicy inside. Beezle would die of happiness if he could get some of this.

“They were born of the same stuff that created the universe,” Daharan said. “And they never found a perfect form. Thus they have been malleable, prone to the whims of those who rule them.”

“Were they never free?” I asked, glancing at the three dogs.

“Once they might have been. But Michael tamed them long ago, and they were put to the Agency’s service.”

“Michael?” I asked. “The archangel who was friends with Lucifer?”

“If anyone can truly be friends with Lucifer, then Michael was,” Daharan said. “The Retrievers terrorized humans, killing them and eating their souls.”

“But Michael showed them mercy?” I asked.

“If you could call what he did ‘mercy,’” Daharan said. “He entrapped them, forced them to serve the Agency. The creatures were only acting upon their natures. It is not fair to shoot a tiger simply because it behaves like one.”

“Are you saying the Retrievers will be good now that they belong to me?” I asked.

“That depends,” Daharan said. “Are you good?”

My cheeks colored. “I think so.”

“I am not passing judgment upon you. I am asking if you still believe that you are, as you would say, one of the good guys,” Daharan said.

I thought about smothering Titania within a cocoon of darkness.

“I try to be,” I said.

Daharan fell silent at this, and I returned my attention to my dinner.

“Aren’t you eating?” I asked, shoveling food in my mouth. Everything was amazing, and as usual, I was famished.

“I have already done so,” he said, but something in the way he said it made me pause.

“No, you haven’t,” I said. “Why would you lie about that?”

Daharan looked surprised. “You know when I say a falsehood?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I mean, I don’t know if I could before. But I can now. Since I . . .”

I trailed off. I didn’t know whether Daharan knew about the Titania thing yet. And I was a little afraid that he did know, and that he would disapprove.

“Since you killed the Faerie Queen,” Daharan said.

There was no judgment in his tone, only a statement of fact.

“Yes,” I said, putting my fork down. “She thought I killed Bendith.”

“Of course she thought you killed her son. Because it was arranged so that she would think that.”

His voice was still calm, but I could see the anger banked in his eyes. The anger wasn’t for me, though.

“Do you know who set me up?” I asked. Whoever it was had a lot to answer for.

Daharan took a large sip of wine, swallowed it, and gazed directly at me. “Yes.”

“Are you going to tell me who it is?” I asked.

“I am sorry I did not return to you as soon as you expected me,” Daharan said. “So much of this could have been avoided.”

“Where were you, anyway? And don’t think I haven’t noticed that you didn’t answer the question,” I said.

“I was detained by Alerian,” he said.

“Alerian?” I asked, alarmed. “Why? What’s he up to?”

“Nothing that he will reveal to me. He simply wanted to see me, as we have been out of contact for many centuries,” Daharan said. “But our powers are in such direct opposition to one another that it has a dampening effect on our magic when we are together. You may have felt the connection between us break while I was in my brother’s presence.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I thought you left, went to some other universe or something. It was the same feeling that I used to get when Lucifer went to the land of the dead.”

“It was because of Alerian’s presence that I did not feel the threat to you when the faerie king’s apartment was under attack,” Daharan said. “Else I would have rushed to your aid immediately. And if that had been averted, none of the rest would have followed.”

“So who was it?” I asked.

“The same person who has interfered so often in your life lately,” Daharan said.

“Lucifer,” I swore. “I don’t know what he’s up to, but when I—”

Daharan shook his head. “Not Lucifer. Puck.”