Blind Faith

Chapter 21

Nate awoke quickly, immediately reaching for his gun and sliding from the bed. Somebody was in the apartment.

Somebody good enough to get inside without alerting him.

He left Audrey sleeping and crossed the room, gun low and ready to fire.

At the doorway he paused, listened, and stepped into the hallway to shut her door. They’d have to go through him to get to her.

Two guns cocked simultaneously, one at his left ear, and one at his right.

He froze and his shoulders relaxed. “Damn it,” he muttered.

Ignoring the weapons, he moved forward and into the living room, pivoting around to glare. “What the holy fuck are you two doing here?”

Matt grinned and slipped his gun into his waist. “I love such a heartwarming welcome, don’t you, Shane?”

Shane rolled his eyes, eyeing the antique rug covering some of the wood floor. “I think my boots were dirty. Sorry.”

Nate shook his head, his carefully laid plans dissolving on the dirty rug. “I told you to stay in Montana, and I’d bring Audrey to you.” What the hell were his brothers thinking? They couldn’t be this close to the commander—not all three of them at once. It was too risky.

Matt shook out his wet black hair. “Oh. Is that what you meant by telling us to stay the fuck out of DC?”

“Yes.” Exasperation filled Nate’s head with static.

“Humph.” Shane gingerly stepped back onto the rug. “We must’ve got that wrong. We thought you were in trouble and needed help.” His lip lifted in a smart-ass grin. “Oops.”

Nate stilled and tried to remain cold. He studied his brothers. Both stood well over six feet and had taken natural, muscular builds and honed them to deadly efficiency. Matt’s black hair curled over his collar, while Shane’s shaggy brown hair almost reached his shoulders. A fuck you to their military upbringing.

Both men returned his stare with identical gray gazes—full of understanding.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said, close to breaking, as rain slashed against the windows.

“Never alone,” Matt whispered.

The mantra they’d coined as scared children—a promise to each other. A vow.

Nate shook his head, his heart pumping hard. “You have more important things to think about than me.” Josie and Laney for a start.

“No.” Shane stood even taller. “We don’t.”

“Shane—”

“No.” Shane lowered his chin. “Do you think we don’t know you? Know what you’ve done to protect me and Jory? How you sacrificed yourself to give us a childhood?”

“Or fought to keep me from going insane?” Matt asked. “Why would you expect us to be any different than you? If you’re in trouble, we’re here. Period.”

Nate swallowed. Those were not tears pricking the backs of his eyes. He didn’t cry.

Two of the deadliest men in the world stood across from him, offering help. Offering themselves. His brothers. He blinked and nodded, both humbled and taken aback. “Thank you.”

“Sure.” Shane shrugged and strode toward the kitchen. “I’m starving. Any good food here?”

“Leftover sandwiches,” Nate said, his gaze remaining on Mattie. “The ranch is secured?”

“Yes.”

“You engaged the outside tracking field?”

“Of course.” Matt sat on the couch. “Is your head on straight?”

Nate sat on a chair, curling his bare toes into the rug. “I don’t know.”

“Well, why don’t we start there?” Matt leaned his massive forearms on his knees. “A baby. You’re having a baby.”

Warmth that might be joy welled up through Nathan. Followed by terror. The bittersweet moment caught him hard in the chest. He wanted to be ecstatic, but the kill chip in his spine counted down the end of his days too quickly. “Yes. I’m going to be a father.” Putting aside the fear that he didn’t know how to be a father seemed appropriate since he needed to find a way to stay alive first. One challenge at a time.

“Congrats, bro.” Mattie smiled, delight in those deadly eyes. Hardness and determination filtered through. “So. I guess we’d better start planning how to survive.”

Audrey shook sleep from her eyes and wandered through the apartment to the living room, where she stopped short.

“Hi, Audrey,” Matt said gently.

Shane waved, his mouth full of food.

Nate smiled.

She gulped. The Gray brothers. In her living room—three of them. And here she stood in tiny shorts and a see-through shirt. Slowly, she slid a foot backward. “I, ah, need to get dressed.”

Matt surveyed her. “You’re supposed to wear loose clothing during the second trimester. It helps with circulation and nausea.”

Shane swallowed and nodded. “And nonslip socks. You could easily fall on that wood floor.”

Nate leaned forward. “You read up on pregnancies?”

“Yep,” the other two Gray—make that Dean—brothers said in unison.

“What did you read about cow’s milk?” Nate asked, reaching for a pen and notepad.

Twilight Zone. Crazy Town. Alternate universe. There was no way Audrey stood, half dressed in her own living room where the Dean brothers currently discussed cow’s milk, magnesium, and something called a breast pump. No freakin’ way.

She turned. “I need a shower.”

“Make it under a hundred degrees,” Matt called after her.

Where had reality escaped to?

She nodded and kept walking, her mind fuzzing. Under a hundred degrees? Mathew Dean, the deadly soldier who’d furiously and sometimes cruelly trained his brothers to kill, to survive, under impossible odds, was giving her pregnancy advice? In a cheerful voice?

No, no, no. She shook her head, trudging into the bathroom to drop her clothing as she made her way to the shower to turn the knob to warm. This had to be another dream. No way were three Dean brothers, the commander’s most wanted on earth, hanging out researching pregnancy in her living room. Impossible. It was more likely she’d been transported to an alternate universe. One where up was down and grass was pink. Or purple.

Warm spray cascaded over her as she stepped inside the roomy shower, allowing the heat to soothe her tight shoulders.

One tiny groan escaped her when she pressed a palm against the dark tile to lean into the water, inviting warmth to wash down her back. Heaven—and possibly a bit more than a hundred degrees.

Apparently she’d need to get caught up on pregnancy before Nate knew more than she did. The man would be a steamroller at that point—making sure she followed all the rules.

She took her time shampooing her hair, breathing in steam and calming her lungs. Finally, the water began to cool as she finished shaving her legs. She lifted her head… and the world spun.

Crazy, wild, and hazy, the tiles spun around her. She pushed out of the shower and cried out, going down. A thick rug cushioned her fall.

Boot steps echoed, and the door flew wide open.

“Aud?” Nate skidded to his knees in front of her.

“Is she breathing?” Matt asked, grunting as he was pushed aside.

“Make sure she’s breathing,” Shane said urgently, dropping to his haunches.

Audrey blinked, trying to clear her head. She was buck-ass naked. “G-get out,” she croaked.

Matt knelt down, his eyes dark with concern. “What did she say?”

Nate ran a hand down her arms, obviously looking for broken bones. He quickly moved on to her legs. Her very bare legs.

Audrey sucked in air. “Get the fuck out—now!”

Shane chuckled. “Honey, it’s not like we haven’t seen—” He lurched back, alarm on his face, as she lunged at him.

She could kill them all. Scrambling on the carpet, she sprung, only to have Nate catch her and take her back down.

“Towel,” he ordered, holding out a hand.

A towel suddenly appeared, and he covered her from neck to knees. “Hold still, Audrey,” he said, his face giving no quarter as he felt for the pulse under her neck. Counting, he waited, his gaze staying on hers. “What happened?”

Her mind fuzzed again. Good thing she was lying on her back. “I got a little dizzy.”

Matt leaned around Nate. “You have to take it easy.”

Shane nodded, peering around Nate’s other side. “You should’ve sat down.”

Fire raged through Audrey, and she stretched to jab his nose.

“Whoa.” Nate captured her hand and pressed it on the carpet. “Guys? Do you mind giving us a second?”

Matt ducked his head to get a better look at her face. “You sure she’s okay? We should take her to a doctor.”

“I’m fine,” Audrey said through gritted teeth. “Except there’s way too much testosterone in my bathroom all of a sudden with three of you here.”

“Four. The baby makes four guys.” Shane grinned quick dimples and stood back. “She’s okay.” He disappeared, whistling down the hallway. The tune was horribly off-key but sounded familiar. Mission: Impossible?

Matt patted Nate on the shoulder. “Call me if you need me.” The door closed quietly behind him.

Audrey struggled to get up, only to have Nate press both her shoulders to the ground.

“Stay still for a moment.” He remained on his knees, caressing her shoulder as if he couldn’t quite stop touching her. “I want you to take inventory from head to toe, right now. Slowly.”

“Nate—”

“Now.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine.” Taking stock, she mentally checked on every bone, every muscle, and all her skin. “I’m okay.”

“So what happened?” His huge hand smoothed back her hair as if she were something infinitely fragile and breakable.

For some reason, his kindness pissed her off. “Don’t worry, your baby is fine.” No way would he be so nice if she wasn’t carrying his child. At the thought, her eyes filled. All her life she’d been an experiment, cared for because of something having nothing to do with who she was or wanted to be. Her mother had wanted a daughter to carry on her own brilliance, and the commander had wanted to use her as a pawn. Even the senator needed her for intel.

And now Nate wanted her because she happened to be pregnant with his child.

Part of her knew she was being unreasonable, but the emotions wouldn’t stop bombarding her. Darn hormones.

“Okay,” he said slowly, his brow furrowing. “How are you?”

“You don’t care.” She sniffed, trying to turn away.

He bit his lip. “Is this hormones?”

“Yes.” She sniffed again. “I’m suddenly having a lot of them.”

“That’s normal, Audrey.”

“Oh, shut up, Nate.” She pushed him away to sit. What did he know about normal? “You’re only being nice to me because I’m knocked up with your kid.”

He cupped her jaw, his smile sweet. “Do you really believe that?”

“No.” She sat with her back against the wall and picked at a nub on the towel still covering her. “I feel weird.”

Nate sat back. “Weird how?”

She shrugged. “All of a sudden, things are popping out of my mouth I don’t mean. And I really, really wanted to punch your brother in the nose a few seconds ago.”

“Sweetheart, don’t worry about words—you can say whatever you want. As for Shane, we all want to punch him on a regular basis. That’s normal.”

Audrey huffed out a laugh. “Your brothers saw me naked.”

“I’ll kill them if you want.” He managed to keep his lips tight as he offered.

“Funny.” Embarrassment hunched her shoulders.

Nate leaned forward and glanced down the front of the towel. “First of all, they were worried about you and didn’t have time to appreciate your marvelous assets.” His lips wandered along her collarbone. “Unlike me.”

A quiver wandered down her back.

He tugged the towel down to kiss along the tops of her breasts. “My brothers should be the least of your worries.”

Warmth flooded her veins. “What should I be worried about?” she murmured, leaning back and allowing the towel to slip.

“I just read that having sex during the second trimester is fine,” he murmured, licking along her skin.

She blinked while desire awakened inside her. He was trying to calm her, to distract her, and it was working. Wait a minute. She threaded her fingers through his hair and clenched. The scowl across his features made her smile as she held him off of her. “Your brothers both can hear as well as you do.”

“So?” Nate’s frown deepened.

“So?” She pushed him away and shoved herself to her feet. “No way, buddy.” She couldn’t be quiet, no way, and she wasn’t giving the Dean brothers a free show. Or listen. Or whatever.

Nate smoothly stood. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” She gestured him toward the door. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like some privacy.”

He stepped into her space. “Last time I gave you privacy, you ended up on the floor.”

She lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “If you don’t get out of the bathroom, I’m going to make sure you end up on the floor.”

He held up his hands in surrender and opened the door. “More hormones,” he muttered as he disappeared from sight.

She sighed. “Nate, you know I’m going to work today, right?” she called out.

“The hell you are,” came the swift response.

Yep. She might as well get dressed before the battle of the day began. Now she’d have to take on all three of the stubborn Dean brothers, but not until she’d had breakfast.

She felt more human when she’d gotten dressed and fixed her hair, going minimal with the makeup. Her stomach rumbled, so she reluctantly exited her room to head to the kitchen.

“Nice boots,” Mathew said, his back to her as he finished scrambling eggs on the stovetop.

Audrey paused and glanced behind her to the empty living room.

“Shane went to scout the area and take notes on the men watching you, and I sent Nate for a run,” Mathew said, not turning around. “Sit down, Audrey. We need to talk.”

She hovered, her nerves firing. Matt Dean had always seemed larger than life—dangerous and hard as steel. Until she’d gotten to know him through Nate’s eyes, she’d feared him as much as she feared the commander.

Steeling her shoulders, she crossed to sit at the table, where two places had been set with milk, orange juice, fruit, and plates. How mad was Mathew at her for hurting Nate? Would he want her to disappear, even though she was pregnant?

He turned, a massive man—wearing a bright yellow apron at his waist.

Humor bubbled up and she coughed into her hand.

“What?” Mathew frowned down at the apron and shrugged. “Seemed appropriate.” Stalking forward with the grace of a hunting wolf, he slid eggs covered with cheese onto her plate.

Slipping the empty pan into the sink, he took a seat. “The eggs and cheese are good protein, and the fruit has all sorts of vitamins.”

She couldn’t do this. “Mathew—”

“Matt.” He unfolded his napkin, his movements graceful and deadly all at once. “Family calls me either Matt or Mattie.”

She swallowed. “We’re not family.”

Matt pinned her with those odd gray eyes. “You’re carrying my nephew. That makes you family.”

She frowned and reached for a fork. “But Nate and I—”

“Need to figure things out.” Matt nodded for her to eat her eggs. “Whatever you two decide works for me. But that doesn’t mean you’re not family now, whether you like it or not.”

Being part of Matt’s family didn’t seem like an easy road, but it might be the safest one available to her. “I’ll do anything to protect this baby,” she said, not sure if it was a threat or a statement.

Matt wrinkled his nose. “I wonder what that feels like.” He eyed her, cocking his head to the side.

“What?” Being pregnant?

“Having a real mom—one who cares.” Matt shrugged. “Through the years, we’ve all wondered what that would be like.” He pointed to her abdomen. “The little Dean in there is a lucky guy.”

Surprise and warmth flushed through her. “Um, thanks.” She took a bite of eggs and nearly groaned at the wonderful flavor. “I guess I don’t really know what that feels like, either.” Her mother truly didn’t give a fig about her and never had. Not really.

“Yeah.” Worry creased Matt’s forehead. “Talk about a bunch of lost people trying to raise a baby. None of us know what a normal family is like.”

She chuckled, finally relaxing. “No, but at least you know what family feels like. That’ll help.”

“Yeah.” Matt dug into his fruit and grimaced.

“What?” Audrey asked.

“I hate grapefruit.” He took another bite. “But I figured if I was going to talk you into eating it, I should try it, too.”

What a sweetheart. The guy would make an excellent uncle. “I thought you’d hate me for hurting Nate.” Crap. She hadn’t meant to bring that up during their peaceful breakfast.

Matt pushed the fruit cup away. “I’ve never hated you. For the brief time you were together, you made Nate happier than he’d ever been.”

“But I hurt him.”

“You did, but none of us ever thought it was because you’d stopped caring. We knew the commander forced your hand. You just made the wrong decision.” Matt happily scooped eggs onto his fork.

“The wrong decision?” She dropped her fork. “Are you crazy? You all sacrifice yourselves on a daily basis for each other, and I made the wrong decision to keep Nate alive?”

“Yep.” Matt eyed her downed fork pointedly and didn’t continue speaking until she’d regained it to eat more eggs. “Call it old-fashioned, but you don’t get to sacrifice for Nate. You know him better than that.”

The eggs were good. It was hard to hold on to temper with good eggs warming her tummy. Yet she gave it a good shot. “That’s Neanderthal-like and ridiculous.”

“Yep.”

Audrey tried to think of a rejoinder, but the lug was agreeing with her. She studied him, suddenly curious. “Did you ever find somebody, Matt?”

He stilled, sitting back to study her.

For some reason, she held her breath.

Finally he nodded, his entire face changing into something more approachable. “Yes. Her name is Laney, and she’s a pistol. Sweet, tough, and brilliant.” The love in his words held a determined strength.

Relief and the oddest gratitude filled Audrey. Matt trusted her. Really had made the decision to trust her. “Laney sounds amazing.”

“She is.” Matt grinned, looking almost boyish. “I have to admit, learning that Nate could have kids has given all of us hope. We’d love kids…” Something dark swirled in his eyes as his grin slid away. “If we live.”

“I know.” Audrey finished off her eggs, her stomach aching. Survival seemed nearly impossible sometimes, and she had to dig deep for hope. She eyed the orange juice. Nope. No acid for her today.

Matt leaned forward and rubbed his chin, his smile appearing forced. “Shane is married to a woman named Josie who gives him fits on a daily basis. It’s hilarious.” More sadness than humor colored Matt’s tone.

Apparently Matt was as worried as she was about the kill chips. Audrey’s head jerked up. “Shane is married?”

“Yes.” Matt nodded. “You’ll meet both Laney and Josie soon, when we send you to headquarters.”

Ah. Okay. Audrey took a deep breath. If she could get Matt on her side, Nate would be easier to deal with. Either way, she needed to stay in DC until she discovered the commander’s alternate training facility. “About that. I’m staying here.” She sat back to convince one of the most stubborn men alive to help her convince the most stubborn one. Either way, she was staying—with or without their agreement.