Blood Challenge

THIRTY-TWO

“I’M sorry,” Lily said helplessly. “Benedict, I didn’t mean to … I don’t know how I did that.”

“What’s going on?’ Arjenie looked from Lily to Benedict, then on to every other face at the table. Then back at Benedict again. His face was smoothed out, blank, but his eyes … storms swirled there. Her heart began to pound. “Everyone’s upset. Why is everyone upset?”

Benedict shoved to his feet. “Arjenie, will you come into the kitchen with me?”

“Now?” She blinked. “The kitchen?”

“Or we could go outside.”

He meant that they should be alone to talk about this. Her stomach turned queasy. She didn’t know why. “You’re scaring me.”

“That’s appropriate. I’m terrified.”

CARL’S kitchen was not going to need much cleaning, Arjenie thought as she looked around. There was a pot on the stove that probably held what was left of the chicken and dumplings. The two cookie sheets in the sink must have been for the scones.

She headed there. “Okay,” she said, turning on the water to get it hot. “Start talking.”

“You’re washing dishes?”

“I’m nervous. It’s easier to be nervous if I’m busy.”

“Arjenie.” He turned off the water and put his hands on her arms and turned her to face him. “I don’t think I can do this while you wash dishes.”

His face wasn’t all smoothed out anymore. She still couldn’t read it. He’d said he was terrified, but what she saw was urgency. She licked her lips. “Lily thinks you need to tell me about the mate bond really soon. Soon would be now.”

“You know that my people do not believe in marriage or monogamy.”

This was not the lead-in she’d expected. She nodded.

“There is one exception. Rarely—very rarely—our Lady gifts one of us with a Chosen. We call her that because she is chosen for us. A lupus gifted with a Chosen will be faithful to her unto death.”

Disappointment swamped her. “Is that why Rule and Lily are getting married? Not because they love each other, but because they’ve got this mate bond thing? And Cullen and Cynna, too—”

“Cullen and Cynna don’t share a mate bond. Rule and Lily do. They also love each other. I don’t understand why they’re marrying. It’s a meaningless flourish when they are irrevocably bound together. It will cause no end of problems.”

Irrevocably? Her heart was pounding harder. “I don’t understand. I don’t see why Lily wanted you to tell me this. If she was worried that … well, I guess it’s obvious I’m attracted to you, but if she or you are thinking I don’t understand how lupi are about sex, that I’m going to get my feelings hurt because you aren’t going to make a commitment—”

“That isn’t what anyone is thinking.” His hands tightened on her arms. “Arjenie, I will be faithful to you unto death.”

Her heart leaped into her throat. Her hand flew there, trying to keep it from jumping right out of her body. “No. No, you’re mistaken.”

“The mate bond snapped into place the moment our eyes met. I was wolf at the time, but it didn’t matter.”

“You can’t be right.” She tugged at one of his hands. “Let go. Let go of me.”

His hands dropped. “It’s why your Gift doesn’t work on me. It’s why we take comfort from touching each other, why we know where the other is at all times.”

“I don’t know that. I had to ask Cullen where you were this morning. I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t you? I knew where you were. I felt it. That sense will grow stronger after we cement the bond. It’s why we want each other so badly. I think about your skin, your scent. I want to feel your hair against my skin. I want inside you. I don’t know how I managed to stop when I kissed you this afternoon.”

Her stomach churned. “My mother was beguiled into sex. She never got over it. She never—”

“This isn’t anything like faerie glamour. There’s no illusion involved. The connection is real and physical. Lily wanted me to tell you so you would understand why you can’t fly back to D.C.”

“I live in D.C.! My career is there. My family’s in Virginia. I’m not going to—”

“We’ll have to work that out. I don’t know how yet, but we can’t live on opposite coasts. We can’t put that much distance between us. The mate bond won’t allow it, especially now when—”

“I don’t believe you! This can’t be true. You have to be mistaken. Or—or there’s some way to make it go away. To remove it.”

“Arjenie.” His eyes were frantic. His hands were clenched fists at his sides. “The bond can’t be removed. You have to believe me. Don’t fight the bond. Please. I beg you not to fight it.”

He begged her? This man didn’t beg. He didn’t. She wanted to hold him, soothe him. She wanted to do other things, too, that wouldn’t be at all soothing. Was this ache, this need, not really hers? Had it been imposed on her? “I don’t understand,” she whispered. “I don’t understand any of this.” She took a step back. Another. “Do you want it? Did you want this mate bond?”

“When it hit, it was the last thing I wanted in this world.”

The words were wrenched from his gut. She believed him. Benedict hadn’t wanted this, hadn’t done it to her. To them. “Okay.” She nodded. “I have to think. I have to get away and think.”

“Don’t go. Stay. Talk to me. Ask me questions.”

“I’m going to take a walk.” Yes. Yes, that felt right. “I won’t go far. You tell me I can’t go far, so I won’t, but I have to think. There must be a way to fix this. I have to think, figure out how to fix this.”

His hand rose … and fell again. “There is one possible fix. It’s a last resort. It would be painful and dangerous for you, and it’s … forbidden to me, but I won’t let you suffer. If you try but you can’t adapt to the mate bond, can’t live with it, tell me.”

She stared at him a moment, her head boiling with thoughts that rose and popped before she could grasp a single one. She nodded slowly, then turned and fled.

“‘I didn’t mean to.’” Lily quoted herself bitterly. “Those are the most useless words in the world.”

“But you didn’t mean to.” Rule drew the brush through her wet hair. He’d washed it for her. “You didn’t know it was possible, so how could you have guarded against it?”

They sat together in the center of Rule’s bed, her back to his front. She wore one of his button-down shirts since she didn’t feel right about sleeping naked here like she did at home. He wore what he always slept in. Skin.

Dirty Harry was back, running his motor and allowing Lily to pet him. That brought a faint smile to her lips. While Rule petted her, she petted the cat. “I was already mindspeaking her, though it only worked one way. I should have considered the possibility that I could send a thought as well.”

“As clever as you are, you might give a thought to world peace. I’m sure if you considered the possibility—”

“I’m too tired to hit you.”

“Not too tired to beat up on yourself, however.”

“No, that’s actually easier to do when I’m tired.” It was a hair short of midnight and Lily was in the unwelcome state of being deeply weary but wide awake. The wide-awake part may have had something to do with the coffee she’d enjoyed so much. The weary part she blamed on her arm. Pain made her tired.

Lily leaned back against him. His arms came around her as automatically as breathing.

Neither Benedict nor Arjenie had come back after Lily forced Benedict’s hand. Lily wanted that to mean they’d gone off to have mind-blowing sex in private. She was pretty sure the real reason for their absence was a lot more complicated and unhappy.

She couldn’t fix things for Benedict, so her mind veered toward something she might be able to fix. They’d talked out the situation after Benedict and Arjenie left—not the Benedict and Arjenie situation, but the one with Friar and the Old One they suspected was his new mistress.

There were two immediate concerns. One, as Lily had said, was getting word to Croft. Friar had risked a lot with his attempt to kill Ruben. Lily figured that meant the last thing Friar and/or the Great Bitch wanted was for the government to be aware of them—so she’d better make damn sure it was.

Even encrypted, e-mail was too risky. Friar couldn’t Listen to that, but there was a traitor in the Bureau, possibly within the Unit itself. A mole. Lily didn’t dare assume that mole was unable to access e-mail accounts.

The question, then, was who to send? Cynna was too close to D-Day to fly across the country, and Cullen wouldn’t leave her. Lily could appropriate someone from the local FBI office, but that might tip off their enemies. She wasn’t omniscient, but she could observe multiple locations on Earth simultaneously, probably while painting her nails and playing Grand Theft Auto—or whatever beings the age of the universe did for fun and relaxation. Her main limitation was communication. It was extremely hard for her to communicate with her agents here on Earth, but hard did not equal impossible. Another nutty telepath like Helen would do the trick nicely.

In the end, Lily had settled on Jeff. He could fly home to North Carolina without sending up any warning flags. One he arrived in Raleigh, though, instead of heading for Leidolf Clanhome he’d drive up to D.C. to hand-deliver Lily’s report.

There was the little problem of getting Jeff in to see Croft without anyone else seeing the report. So Lily would call Croft when Jeff was on his doorstep and tell him, “Code 300. Courier Jeffrey Merrick Lane has information for your eyes only.”

“Code 300” meant that all channels were possibly compromised, and sensitive information was to be conveyed in person only. Lily couldn’t actually declare a Code 300—only Ruben or the director had that authority. But using it ought to get Croft’s attention.

It was slow, convoluted, and downright paranoid, but they were up against an Old One. Paranoid made sense.

The other issue—one Lily hadn’t thought of until Rule brought it up—was the meeting taking place the day after tomorrow. They had to assume Friar was aware of it. He couldn’t Listen to conversations at any of the clanhomes, but none of them had been careful to speak only when at their respective clanhomes. Wouldn’t a meeting of the heirs of seven clans strike him as a dandy target? “You’re sure you want to hold this meeting still?” she said.

“It’s a risk. But without the heirs’ circle, we aren’t going to get an All-Clan. We need the All-Clan. We’ll hope Friar’s failure has him sufficiently off-balance to give us the edge.”

“Hmm.” The failure Rule referred to was the first potion, the one Arjenie had undone. Friar had no way of knowing what had gone wrong, so he ought to be rethinking his plans. Whatever they were. “I wonder if … what is it?”

He’d turned his head to look at the door. So, she noticed, had Harry. A second later, someone knocked on it. “Lily?” Arjenie said softly. “Your light’s on, so I was hoping … I know it’s late and if you’re hurting I’ll just go away, but if not, I’d really like to talk.”

Lily nodded at Rule, who slid off the bed. “Pants,” she hissed at him, then said more loudly, “Just a minute.”

“Lily insists I cover certain bits,” Rule told the door as he stepped into the trousers he’d tossed on the floor earlier. “There.” He zipped them and opened the door on a pale, tense Arjenie. “I’ll go raid the refrigerator, I think.”

Arjenie pinked up. “I didn’t mean to … no, actually, I did. Thank you. I would appreciate a chance to talk to Lily privately.”

“Of course. I’m told you don’t care to be touched without permission. This is awkward for me, as I’m accustomed to touching those I care about.”

“I don’t like to be grabbed without permission. Touching’s okay. You don’t really know me, though.”

He smiled suddenly. “You are the closest thing to a sister I’ll have in this life. I’m learning you. What I know so far is very easy to care about.” He bent and kissed her cheek, then eased out the door without quite touching her.

Arjenie watched him for a moment, her eyes large and her cheeks pink. She looked at Lily. “Is he always like that?”

“Pretty much.” Lily had scooted up to the head of the bed so she could prop herself up. Harry gave her a dirty look. She hadn’t asked his permission to move. She patted the bed. “Have a seat.”

Arjenie closed the door and came closer, then hesitated. “Are you uncomfortable? I am. I want to ask you about—about deeply personal matters, but I don’t know you all that well. We’ve talked a lot, but it was always about facts.”

“We can start with facts. I’m comfortable with facts myself. Sit,” Lily said again.

Arjenie flashed a wry smile and perched on the edge of the bed, her shoulders held stiffly as if she were sitting to attention. “Is this your cat? He’s a big one.” She held out her hand.

“Ah, I wouldn’t—”

But Harry decided to accept Arjenie’s tribute with nary a growl or scratch. He allowed her to rub his head as she spoke. “I’m not sure where to start. I have a list of questions all made up in my head, but I don’t know where to start.”

“Benedict told you about the mate bond.”

She nodded. “He said you and Rule have one. He said you love each other, too, which is what I thought, watching you, only then I didn’t know what was this bond and what was just … well, love.”

“I had a hard time figuring that out at first. What it comes down to, I think, is that the mate bond affects the physical stuff. The bond is … hmm. Have you ever lusted after someone you didn’t much like? Or didn’t know well enough to say if you liked him or not?”

“Yes!” Arjenie’s shoulders relaxed slightly. “So the mate bond is great at lust, but it didn’t make you fall in love?”

“You might say it got my attention.” In spades. Lily had to smile. “But I managed the falling in love part on my own.”

“Okay. Okay, that helps. Um … the other thing I was wondering is …” Her voice drifted off. She paid a great deal of attention to stroking Dirty Harry. “Benedict said the bond won’t let us be separated very much. What happens if we’re too far apart?”

“You get dizzy. If you don’t close the distance, you’ll pass out. He didn’t tell you?”

“He would have, but I freaked.” She grimaced. “He wanted me to stay and talk, but I had to get out, get my head straight. I had to think things through. I was trying so hard not to believe him, you see. My sense of reality was messed up. I had to find some objective points to consider.”

“What kind of objective points?”

“Like when he said the bond made us know where each other was. I told him that wasn’t true for me, but when I thought about it, I realized I did have a fuzzy idea of where he was. Not exactly, but I felt as if I could find him if I needed to. Right now, he’s …” She closed her eyes and waved a hand in the general direction of the great room. “That way.”

“How far away is he?”

Arjenie’s eyes popped open. “I don’t know. Am I supposed to know?”

“Right now, I know that Rule is roughly twenty yards that way.” She pointed the same direction Arjenie had. “That puts him out back on the deck, I think.”

Arjenie shook her head. “I can’t tell that much.”

“You haven’t had sex with Benedict yet.”

“Well … no.”

“The first time you have sex, it cements the bond. You’ll know where the other one is a lot more clearly than you do now. And for a few days you’ll have to stay very close to each other. For me and Rule it was forty-seven feet.” She had, of course, measured. “That was just the first couple days. The bond relaxes with time, but at first you have to stay very close.”

Arjenie’s eyes widened. “You mean that the bond isn’t cemented yet?”

“No. No, I used the wrong word. The mate bond’s permanent from the get-go. Sex strengthens it, but if you were somehow stubborn and strong-willed enough to avoid getting naked with Benedict for the next thirty years, you’d still be bound to him. Also insane from frustration.”

A smile flickered over Arjenie’s mouth. “I can’t imagine going thirty years without … never mind. The most important thing I needed to ask is how to remove the bond.”

“You can’t.”

“There must be a way. Something, maybe, that’s painful? Or dangerous? Or even forbidden?”

Lily shook her head. “The only thing that ends the bond is death. I know this for a fact, Arjenie. If there were some way to remove it, I’d have tried it back when the bond was new.” Her smile was wry. “And messed up my life big-time, but I didn’t know that then. When the bond first hit, I did not think it was a good thing.”

Arjenie grimaced. “Neither did Benedict.”

“Would you expect him to, after losing Claire like … oh, shit,” she said when she saw the look on Arjenie’s face. She’d just blown it on Benedict’s behalf a second time. “He didn’t tell you about Claire.”

“No.” Arjenie leaned forward. “But you will, won’t you?”