Born of Deception

Thirteen

Unshed tears sting my eyes and I carefully breathe in and out, trying to hold them back.

Why would he bring Calypso to have lunch with my mother? I can see her finding out his destination and pressing to come, but he couldn’t tell her no?

Apparently not.

I glance at Mother, but she’s oblivious and chatting with Jacques. I put my head down and stare at my plate so I don’t have to watch them approaching the table.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” Cole’s voice has a pleading note that I know is meant just for me.

I lift my head and give him a wide smile. Not for nothing had I been raised by the finest actress never to be in a play. “I’m just happy you made it,” I lie. I turn to Calypso and tilt my head. There is something different about her, but I can’t put my finger on it. “How lovely to see you again. Are you joining us?” I kiss her cheek, but my words let her know that she is intruding.

“As soon as Cole said he was coming to see you, I invited myself along.”

I frown. She seems agitated and I know there’s more to her being here than that. Then it dawns on me what’s different about her. “You cut your hair!”

She turns her head this way and that, showing off her stylishly angled bob. “Do you like it? I was getting headaches carrying that load of hair around. And it’s so much more fashionable, don’t you think?” Without waiting for an answer, she turns to my mother. “You must be Anna’s mother. I can see where she gets her beauty. And you must be Jacques? So nice to meet you.”

My mother’s eyes shoot over to me, no doubt taking in my determinedly cheery smile. For a fraction of a second, she looks unnerved, but regains her composure so quickly that no one but me would even detect that she had been momentarily at a loss.

“Aren’t you a dear to compliment me so?” Mother extends her hand as if expecting Calypso to kiss it. Calypso stares blankly for a moment and then gives it a little shake. “And look at you two! Aren’t you just like twins with your lovely hats. Did you get them together?”

I shake my head. “No, I actually splurged on mine while Calypso and I were out shopping. You must have gone back and gotten one later?”

Cole sits next to me as the disgruntled waiter brings another chair for Calypso. After she sits, she gives me a smile. “I loved the hat so much I had to go back and get it. I knew you wouldn’t mind.”

I bare my teeth in a smile. “Why would I mind? After all, it’s just a hat. And it goes so well with your new haircut.”

Calypso hesitates only for a moment. “Thank you.”

My stomach hurts. Is Calypso playing a game with me? She genuinely seems to like me, but she also seems to have a special fondness for Cole. Is she just using me to get to him or using him to get to me? Or am I being absurd?

I glance sideways at Cole and find him regarding me steadily. I feel his discomfort, but detect no regret. More is going on here than meets the eye. I know I should reserve judgment until I know more, but the jealousy swirling in my stomach is hard to combat.

The waiter takes Cole’s and Calypso’s orders and we’re left to make awkward conversation as we try to finish our meals and they wait for theirs. I shift in my seat, the plush padding suddenly uncomfortable. I wish I could just leave. Then I wonder what Cole would do if I did. Would he follow me?

It takes Mother’s keen intelligence only moments to grasp the situation. I know how her mind works. The only person ever allowed to belittle or otherwise threaten me in any way is her. Everyone else is mincemeat.

With a gleaming glance at me, she turns her formidable attention to Calypso. “I love your name, darling. Calypso. It’s so exotic and Gypsylike. I use to know of a pack of Gypsies in the old country. They were so . . . rustic. I wonder if any of them survived the war,” she muses.

Calypso’s friendly smile falters. “My mother is Spanish, though she was born in Trinidad. My father is English. No Gypsy blood here.”

“Really? You have the look of a wild Gypsy girl. And Trinidad? How . . . peculiar.”

The waiter serves Cole’s and Calypso’s lunches. I look at my own plate, wondering how long it will take them to finish so I can make my escape.

Having made her point, Mother turns to Cole. Surreptitiously, I make a fist with my thumb between the middle fingers—the signal we used for no back when we were performing together.

She ignores it.

“Anna’s last letter told me she was going to meet your mother and grandmother. Did you have a good time?” Mother is letting Calypso know of my special status in Cole’s life.

My cheeks heat and I cringe.

Cole glances at me and I know Mother saw and interpreted the look. “We had a very nice time. My grandmother is a bit old-fashioned, but I think she liked Anna very much.”

I nearly snort at that, but don’t. My mother is intuitive enough as it is. She already knows, even without being told, that the meeting wasn’t a complete success.

“Wonderful. So you still live at home, then? What about when you go to the university?”

I’ve had enough. “What is this, Mother, twenty questions? Let Cole eat.” I keep my voice light, but my mother hears the warning.

“It’s all right, Anna, I don’t mind answering your mother’s questions. Yes, I live at home and will continue to do so throughout university. There’s no reason for me to move as the school is so close and I’m all that my mother and my grandmother have.”

My mother levels a look at him that on the surface seems to say Aren’t you the sweet boy, but underneath she means How can you be man enough for my daughter living with mummy and grandmummy?

“And you, Calypso, do you live with your parents?”

Calypso, intent on her plate, startles. Did she think my mother was done with her?

“Oh. No.”

She doesn’t offer any more information and my mother raises an eyebrow. “You’re awfully young to be living on your own . . .” My mother’s tone is leading.

“I’m not much younger than Anna, and like her, I’m very independent. I live in a boardinghouse,” Calypso finally says, realizing my mother isn’t going to leave her alone. “My father lives outside town and I moved to London to be close to him.”

I frown at her and her cheeks redden. She’d told me she and her father were estranged. “It didn’t work out the way I thought it would.”

My mother gives her an evil grin. “Things rarely do, do they?”

Calypso pushes her plate away and looks at Cole and me. “Are we ready to go?”

I stand, startling Cole, who’s just finished his meal. My mother makes no move to leave. “You young people go ahead. I think Jacques and I will linger over our tea a bit. Cole, it was lovely to see you, as always. Perhaps you can find time between your mother and your studies to visit Jacques and me in Paris. Calypso, it’s been a pleasure to meet you. I adore meeting outlandish young people. It keeps life interesting, don’t you think?” Without waiting for an answer, she turns to me. “Give me a kiss, darling. I’ll see you in the morning.” When I bend down, she whispers. “Be careful with that one. She has a knife aimed right for your back.”

“She’s my friend,” I whisper back.

“Whatever you say, darling. Women can’t be friends.”

“Cynthia is my friend,” I shoot back.

“Cynthia is an anomaly.”

She has a point.

We walk out to the lobby and retrieve our belongings from the coat check. Cole helps me into my coat and makes a point to take my arm. Worry and concern come off him in pulses. I reach for Calypso’s emotions and sense envy before I feel the strange nothingness that I had felt before.

Interesting. She not only learned how to block, she knows that she needs to. How? Who told her that I can read emotions?

We walk out onto the street; and after the downpour of this morning, I’m surprised to see the sun shining brightly.

“Let’s walk,” Cole orders. I glance at him in surprise. He returns the look. “I’m parked a couple of blocks away. I didn’t want anyone to know where Calypso and I were going.”

I’m still confused and tell him so.

He looks at Calypso and I get a sense of genuine worry and concern from both of them.

“I was attacked today,” Calypso says. “Just before I met Cole. He told me your suspicions that there’s someone within the Society working with whoever killed Pratik and possibly Jonathon.”

I shoot a questioning glance at Cole. I thought we had agreed with Harrison and Leandra that we wouldn’t share our theories with anyone.

Cole jumps in. “I thought it best to share this with Calypso so she wouldn’t disclose her attack to anyone else. I wanted to discuss it with Harrison first. So I brought her to lunch. I didn’t want to leave her alone.”

He’s apologizing for bringing her, letting me know that he really didn’t have a choice.

I look from one to the other, confused. Just moments before, I’d been hurt and angry. I’m having trouble switching gears.

As if sensing my feelings, Calypso pulls up the sleeve of her coat and shows me her wrists. “Look. They’re already bruising.” There’s no mistaking the vividly blue bruises, or the tears softening her eyes into dark fathomless pools.

I take a deep breath, sympathy and uncertainty warring in my stomach. Sympathy wins. It’s not her fault she pushes my insecurity buttons. So what if she’s attractive and bought my hat? I give her a quick hug, ignoring the prickly residue of resentment. “You can move in with the other Sensitives.”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t do that,” she exclaims, shaking her head.

We reach Cole’s motorcar and he opens the door for us.

“Why not?” I ask once we’re settled. “We don’t want you in danger.”

“I’m perfectly safe at the boardinghouse. The landlady went on high alert after Pratik was found and she hired a brawny kitchen boy just in case something else happens. I just don’t want to walk by myself to the Society and back. Mr. Casperson is doing some really important work with me. I don’t want to leave the study hanging. If I could get a ride to and from the Society, I am sure I would be perfectly safe.”

“I’m sure someone can drive you to and fro. If not, you can always take a cab,” I tell her.

Calypso shakes her head, her face miserable. “I don’t have any friends there.” She whispers so that only I can hear.

I can feel an agonizing pain coming off her in waves and my throat chokes up. I know what that kind of loneliness feels like. I think about how many people I have in my life now that love me and believe in me. Cole. Cynthia. Mr. Darby. Jacques. Even my mother. Calypso has no one. Her mother lives in the States and she came to London in part to be with her father and now they aren’t even speaking. Yes, she can be dramatic and annoying, but maybe that’s because she’s trying too hard. “Why don’t you stay the night with me?” I say impulsively. “Just for tonight. You can decide whether you want to stay at the boardinghouse tomorrow.”

She opens her mouth, flabbergasted. “Do you mean it?”

I nod.

“I thought we were going to the Wrights’,” Cole says. I can tell he’s uncomfortable, but then, he’s never been good with spur-of-the moment things.

“I don’t want to intrude,” Calypso says quickly. “I already horned in on your lunch.”

“It’s fine. Cole can tell the Wrights what happened. Just pick up your things and we’ll go back to my hotel for the night.”

Her bottom lip trembles as she gives me a smile and gratitude crosses her pretty features. “Thank you, Anna. You’re a real friend.”

Shame heats my face and I glance away. Why do I always think the worst of people? Why am I so suspicious? Calypso isn’t perfect—I’m fairly certain she has a bit of a crush on Cole—but no one is perfect, and I should be confident in Cole’s feelings for me.

But I’m not.

The thought depresses me a bit, but I’m determined to be cheerful, even when we park in front of the old house where we found Pratik’s body.

“You stay here,” Calypso says quickly, seeing the look on my face. “It will only take me a moment.”

Cole offers to accompany her but she shakes her head. “The landlady and the cook are both there. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you all right?” Cole asks after she leaves.

I nod, though I’m not really. I try not to think about Pratik’s staring eyes. Cole takes my hand and I can feel his love for me. I look up into his face, wishing he would just say the words.

He clears his throat. “I’m sorry I’ve been so preoccupied here,” he says, his voice contrite. “There are just so many more obligations here than in New York. You’re busy and I am busy and this whole thing with the Society and then Pratik . . .” His voice trails off and he stares into the distance a moment before looking down into my eyes. “Sometimes I wish we could go back to New York when it was just you and me.”

He twines his fingers around mine and a lump rises in my throat. “And my mother and Jacques and Mr. Darby, not to mention Owen and Dr. Boyle.”

He sighs. “I guess it was every bit as chaotic there, wasn’t it? Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed.” Self-doubt emanates from him. Cole has always been confident and assured—he rarely shows this uncertain side of himself. I wish he’d let me see it more often. It makes me feel like he needs me.

I squeeze his hand, but before I can comfort him, Calypso is back with a small overnight bag. My heart dips. If we could only spend some time alone, it would be so much better.

I try not to remember that the last few times we’d been alone, we had either been arguing or talking about the Society or Pratik’s death. Cole pulls in front of my hotel, and surprisingly Calypso gives us another moment alone. I want him to say something personal again but he doesn’t. He just gives me a warm, brief kiss and says he’ll see me for dinner tomorrow night.

I sigh and join Calypso in the lobby. As she chatters nonstop up the stairs, I let her words wash over me.

Setting her bag on the floor she whirls around and grabs my arm. Pulling me to the mirror, she smiles at our reflections. “We could be almost sisters with our matching hats and dark hair. I’ve always wanted a sister.”

“You don’t have any siblings?”

She shakes her head. “Well, sort of. I have a half sister who lives in America.”

“With your mother?”

“No. We have different mothers. We share a father.”

At the mention of her father, Calypso’s mouth tightens and she turns away. I feel a throb of pain before anger and resentment come racing in behind it. Why isn’t she blocking me now? Perhaps the block had nothing to do with me or maybe she didn’t know she was doing it.

“Is there any chance you and your father might reconcile?” I have a weakness for fathers. Growing up without one, I suppose I idealized the father-daughter relationship. For years I tracked Harry Houdini’s career and dreamed about a day that he would acknowledge that I was his daughter, if indeed I am. Now I know that he can’t really acknowledge me and I accept the relationship we are able to have with gratitude. That doesn’t stop me from wishing for more.

I glance over at Calypso, wondering why she hasn’t answered me. A sad little smile plays about her lips. “I dream of that,” she says as if in a trance. “I dream of my father accepting me for who I am and acknowledging my talents. Finally admitting that I can do some things better than he can. It will happen. Someday.”

I frown at the strange mix of determination and dejection in her voice, and slip my arm about her. “Are you all right?”

She takes a deep breath and smiles. “Of course.” She picks up a deck of cards off my bedside table. “You want to play?”

Calypso accompanies me to my rehearsal the next morning, though I make it clear that I have other plans for the day. She brings her satchel along with her so she can leave right from the theater. We’d played cards the night before until hunger forced us out looking for food and we ate fish and chips on the street like urchins before hurrying back to the hotel to finish our game. When we finally went to bed I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. As if by agreement, we didn’t talk about the Society or Pratik or the abduction attempt that morning. It was nice and normal. I’m hoping for more normal today with Billy.

To my relief, my mother sent a note, telling me she had to reschedule and would see me tomorrow morning. My day is guaranteed to be far more normal without my mother in it.

I introduce Calypso to Louie, and then we sit and watch the various acts. It’s odd seeing her reaction to things I’ve seen so often I could probably recite lines and do the pratfalls. She laughs like a child over Sally and Sandy and claps her hands at Bronco Billy’s tricks.

Jared shows up just before I go on, and I raise an eyebrow at Calypso.

“You and Cole don’t want me to be alone and you said you had plans, so I thought he could escort me home.” She smiles. “I rang him up this morning when you were getting ready for rehearsal.”

I note that Jared’s pale cheeks are stained red as he takes a seat next to Calypso, and I hide a grin at the confusion and excitement I feel from him. I wonder if she knows he has feelings for her.

I leave Calypso sitting forward in her seat, her eyes shining, with Jared sitting proud and upright next to her.

I’m unaccountably nervous to be performing in front of people I actually know, but I run through my tricks easily until I get to the iron maiden. Once inside, my ears start to buzz and my stomach roils. Sweat breaks out on my forehead as I try to concentrate. It takes me far too long to get the cuffs off—something I can usually do in seconds. I stare at the spike I am supposed to lift upward but can’t seem to focus. Panic grows in my chest as a familiar tingling rises in my fingers, leaving them numb. There’s no way I can work the pin even if I could figure out how to lift the correct spike.

My legs tremble and I know I’m going to have to admit defeat. If I fall against these spikes, I could be seriously injured. I open my mouth to call out and a wave of dizziness sweeps over me. Gritting my teeth, I keep myself upright. I try to call again, but no sound comes out.

Please someone, I plead in my head, please someone help me. I can almost feel energy leaching from me as the numbness travels all through my body. Why can’t I move?

I hear Billy from far away. He’s arguing with my assistant, trying to get her to open the door. How long have I been standing in here? Black spots whirl in front of my eyes. A blast of fresh air hits me in the face and I stagger forward. My legs fail and strong arms catch me.

Gasping for air, I find myself looking into eyes the color of a summer sky over an open prairie.

Billy.

I lose myself in his eyes for a long, breathless moment that feels as refreshing and pure as an ocean breeze. Then I blink and hear voices as the others cluster around me. It takes a moment for me to sort everyone out.

“Get her a glass of water,” Louie commands as Billy sits me down on the stage, careful to keep me upright with his arm. Calypso kneels next to me. She brushes my hair out of my eyes, her gaze wide and frightened.

“Are you all right?” Billy asks, and I take a deep breath before answering.

“I think so.”

“What happened?” Louie demands around his cigar.

“I don’t know. Everything was fine and then I got dizzy all of a sudden. I feel fine now.” And I do. The dizziness and tingling are gone as if they had never occurred.

“Has that ever happened before?” Billy asks.

I shake my head. “No. Never,” I lie, my eyes sliding over to Calypso, who had witnessed my collapse at the séance. The last thing I want is for my life as a Sensitive to intrude on my life as a magician. Sometimes I think performing my magic is the only sane thing I have left in my life. Calypso’s face is carefully blank and I remind myself to thank her later.

“You’re going to go see a doctor tomorrow,” Louie barks. “The last thing I need is for you to collapse onstage in Paris next week.”

I nod as he stalks off the stage. He may sound gruff but I can feel the worry beneath his words. He cares about his performers much more than he lets on.

I feel silly with everyone standing over me and move to get up. Billy gives me a hand and I stand gingerly. Sandy brings out a glass of water and I drink deeply. “I’m fine,” I insist, and Louie yells from his seat in the middle of the auditorium.

“Then everyone get off the stage except for the Woodruffs. I’m trying to work here!”

“Are you sure you’re up for our outing?” Billy asks as we go backstage.

I glance at Calypso, who is a few feet away, talking to Jared. “Yes. I’m fine. I just have to walk my friends out.”

He nods. “I’ll meet you in front of the hotel?”

I promise to be there, feeling a twinge of guilt. Should I really be going sightseeing with Billy? Am I being disloyal to Cole? It’s not like I’m attracted to Billy. Well, maybe I am. A little. But I love Cole and that’s that. Billy and I are just friends.

Calypso leaves after I promise to ring her later to tell her how I’m feeling. She takes a taxicab home for safety and for the first time I wonder where she’s getting her money. I’ll have to remember to ask Cole if the Society is supporting her or the other Sensitives. No one seems to have any jobs beyond letting scientists do experiments. But then again, maybe that is how the Society likes it. Why would they want their subjects to be independent?

I push the thoughts out of my head and hurry upstairs to freshen up and change. I am far too excited to be spending the afternoon with a man who is not my boyfriend, but chalk it up to my excitement about an afternoon free of care.

As if to prove to myself that the afternoon means little to me, I change into a plain blue dress and my blue wraparound coat. Nothing special, I tell myself, before taking special care with my hair and lipstick. I pull a straw hat down over my ears before opening the door to head downstairs.

My eye catches something lying on the carpet just outside my hotel door. I frown, bending for a closer look. Lying just inches from my toes is a medallion with some sort of strange symbol on the front. I glance around to make sure I’m alone before cautiously picking it up. The medallion is about three inches in diameter and made of some sort of heavy metal. Perhaps iron or lead. Etched into the metal are a crescent moon and two crossed arrows. I turn it over and try to read the writing on the back but don’t recognize the language.

It lies heavy against the palm of my hand and I turn it over and over, considering. Remembering the poppet, I hate the idea of carrying the medallion on my person, but I don’t want to leave it in my room unprotected either. It could be a clue to whatever it is that’s going on. Who could have left it and when? Did I miss it coming into the room or did someone leave it while I was getting ready? I swallow hard and glance down the hall, feeling vulnerable.

Knowing Billy is waiting for me and not wanting to stand in the hallway any longer, I shove it into my purse. I’ll show it to Cole later.

But I forget everything as Billy comes down the street to meet me, wearing his cowboy hat. He rarely wears it beyond performing, more’s the pity because it suits him so well. Like Cole, Billy seems to emanate light, but whereas Cole glows warm and dark, Billy is all bright sunshine.

I chide myself for my fanciful thoughts. Enough lights and sunshine and other notions. Cole is my boyfriend. Billy is just a friend.

Isn’t he?