Brighid’s Quest

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

“Brighid! Brighid! Brighid! I’ve been watching for you!” Liam began chattering at her as soon as she passed through the front gates of the castle.

“The boy’s been waiting all morning,” the sentry called down.

Brighid tried to shake off the sense of unease that had followed her from the forest. She flashed a strained smile up at the man. “But has he been waiting quietly?”

The sentry’s hearty laugh was answer enough.

“I didn’t know I had to be quiet inside the castle,” Liam muttered as he fell into step beside the Huntress. Then his eyes went big and round as he inspected the well-wrapped carcass she had strapped securely to the tether lines she dragged behind her. “What did you get?”

“You tell me,” she said. “No!” She spoke sharply when he started to pull up a flap in the leather skin in which the boar was wrapped. “Use your sense of smell.”

“But I don’t-” he began, but one look from her silenced him. “I’ll use my sense of smell,” he said.

“Good. Use it all the way to the kitchen.”

“I like the kitchen. It always smells good in there, and I like Wynne. She’s really pretty with all that red hair and-” Another pointed look from Brighid made him clamp his lips together. “I’ll scent the animal.”

Brighid returned the friendly hellos from clan members as she followed the grassy path to the rear kitchen entrance. She didn’t worry about unexpectedly meeting Cuchulainn. She knew he wasn’t inside the castle walls. How she knew it she didn’t damn well understand-but she could Feel his absence.

More good news, she thought, feeling like she was coming to the end of her tolerance for mysterious signs from the spirit world. The centaur’s jaws clenched. She just wanted to be a Huntress-to live and hunt and have a secure, predictable life.

Just as she entered the gate to the kitchen gardens, she noticed several of the older winged children bent over wilted-looking rows of herbs and vegetables, digging, weeding and watering. She only had a moment to wonder how they had convinced the overprotective Wynne to allow them into her precious gardens, when Liam’s voice bubbled up like an irrepressible spring.

“It smells like…like…like-” Liam took another big, audible sniff “-like mud and anger!”

Brighid stopped and looked back at him. “What did you say?”

He scuffed his taloned feet in the grass. “It smells like mud and anger?”

“How do you know that?”

He looked up at her with big eyes and shrugged his shoulders, wincing only slightly as the movement made his bandaged wing stir. “I don’t know. It’s just what it smells like to me. Is that wrong?”

“No,” she said. “That is exactly right. Boars always smell like mud and anger.” Before he could begin hopping around in victory, she took his arm. “Be still and close your eyes.”

Amazingly enough, the boy actually obeyed her. He froze and closed his eyes. She glanced around. The winged children were so busy prodding and pampering the plants that they hardly spared her a glance. For the moment, at least, she and Liam had some measure of privacy.

“Breathe deeply in and slowly out. Three times,” she said, watching him closely.

He did as she commanded.

“Now, picture a boar in the forest.”

“I don’t know what a boar looks like,” he said hesitantly.

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to picture the animal. Just think about the way it smells. Can you do that?”

He nodded his head vigorously.

“While you think about the way it smells, imagine the forest and imagine that you’re looking for an animal that smells of mud and anger. Tell me what you see.”

Liam’s brow wrinkled as he concentrated. Then his brows shot up. “I see a bright red splotchy light!”

She couldn’t believe it. The boy had the soul of a Huntress. She smiled. She had a winged apprentice who seemed more centaur than Fomorian, and she was in love with a human man. The smile grew into laughter. And she had wanted an uncomplicated life? Obviously Epona had other plans for her.

Liam peeked one eye partially open at her. “Did I say something funny?”

“No, my young apprentice. You said the exact right thing. Again. I’m just laughing at life.”

“Why?” he asked, opening both his eyes.

“Because sometimes it’s either laugh or cry. I prefer laugh. How about you?”

He grinned. “Laugh!”

“Och, there ye are!” Wynne stood, hands on hips, legs planted wide, in the rear doorway of her kitchen. The cook’s smile flashed. “I can tell ye honestly, Huntress, that I am greatly pleased that yer back home where ye belong.”

Brighid’s laughter still danced in her eyes. “Thank you, Wynne.” She nodded her chin in the direction of the busy winged children. “I was just wondering how they managed to win their way into your sacred gardens.”

“The bairns seem to know a thing or two about plants and herbs and such, and I thought to keep their wee hands busy. Besides, it has been a long, dry spring, and my herbs need the extra pampering.” Her imperious gaze swept over the gardens and the children. “But donna fash yourself. I’m keeping my eye on them.”

Little heads turned up with toothy smiles. Brighid was surprised to see Wynne’s face soften in response.

“You like children,” she said, more than a little shocked.

Wynne’s emerald gaze came back to the Huntress and her full lips tilted up. “I canna deny it. I like the life bonny young ones bring to a castle.”

“Huh,” Brighid said, thinking that Wynne wouldn’t like it so much if she’d been alone with seventy of them.

“Donna use that tone with me, lassie, not when I see what is following ye around.” She pointed at Liam.

Brighid cleared her throat. “Wynne, have you met my apprentice?”

“No, but I’ve word of him.” She gave the boy an appraising look. “Another good Huntress ’tis always welcome in a kitchen.”

“He’ll be a good Huntress,” Brighid said, causing Liam’s chest to swell. “Someday,” she added before the boy exploded.

“Well then, young Liam,” Wynne said, moving out of the doorframe to join them. “What is it ye have brought me?”

“Boar!” Liam said proudly.

“Did ya now?” Wynne clapped her hands together. “Wild boar! Goddess ’tis good to have ye home, Brighid! Bring it in-bring it in.” Her gleeful tone changed quickly to that of a warrior in command. “But mind where yer walkin’! Have a care with the young mint and basil shoots. This horrid dry weather has practically shriveled my garden to death.” When the Huntress and boy moved too slowly, she tapped her foot impatiently. “I dinna mean for ye to turn to molasses! Get the beastie in here. ’Tis none too soon for the dinner meal.”

“Are we to move carefully or quickly?” Brighid said.

“Both, of course!”

Smiling at Wynne’s familiar bossiness, Brighid pulled the carcass into the kitchen, soaking in the warmth of the enthusiastic greetings called by the army of scullery maids. The rich smells and the bustling activity chased from her mind the last vestiges of the unease brought on by the vision of the fallen raven. By the Goddess, she loved this part of her life! It Felt right to provide for the Clan-and to be a part of a family unit. Liam was an unexpected element, but the boy had a gift. He could actually see animal spirits. So she’d just weave him into the fabric of her life.

And Cuchulainn? He was equally as unexpected. Perhaps there was a way to stitch him into her life as well.

No. She was being foolish. Cuchulainn was already a part of her life. He was her Chieftain’s brother and her friend. That was the role fate had relegated to him. Simple. Logical. Predictable. Just the way she liked it.

But wasn’t there even the smallest possibility that he could be more?

“Brighid? Can we go, too?” Liam’s expectant question broke through her tangled thoughts.

“Go?”

“Aye, aye.” Wynne made rapid shooing motions with her hands at them. “Be gone. We donna have time to step ’round ye.”

Brighid snorted at the cook, but before disappearing out the rear door she snagged something that still lay with the great carcass.

“Come, Liam.” She headed to the door. “Getting in the way of a busy cook can be more dangerous than tracking wild beasts.” Out in the garden she tossed the lump she had been holding to her apprentice, who caught it neatly. “Speaking of tracking, do you know what that is?”

Liam sniffed it before he answered. “A hoof.”

“Of?”’

“The boar, of course,” he said.

“You know that now. You can smell it, and you know that I pulled it from the carcass. But would you know it as a boar’s hoofprint if you saw it in the forest?”

Liam stared at the grisly relic of Brighid’s hunt. “I don’t know.”

“Well, let’s go find out,” she said. Then paused as they left the kitchen gardens. “How is your wing?”

“It feels good,” he assured her. “I’m not tired at all.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “What would Nara say if I asked her the same question?”

“The same thing, I promise.” At her doubting look he added. “Ask her for yourself. She’s out with the rest of them.”

“Out? Where?”

“Where Wynne said, remember? That way-” he pointed to the south “-outside the castle. Everyone’s there setting up camp and trying to decide where to build the new buildings. I’d be there, too, but I thought I should wait for you.”

“You did well,” she said absently. Already her senses were reaching, tendril-like, to the grassy plateau southeast of the castle. Easily, clearly, she Felt the brilliant golden light that was Cuchulainn’s spirit. Get it over with. You can’t live here and avoid seeing the man. “Yes, let’s join the others. And I’ll give you your first lesson in tracking.” She glanced down at the boy. He did look better, and he seemed to be moving more easily. But his wing was still bandaged securely to his back, and his color was paler than she would have liked. The centaur sighed and reached down to him. “Come on. Climb up.”

His smile tugged at her heart. She lifted him to her back and felt one of his warm little hands rest on her shoulder. She knew without looking that the other hand still clutched the bloody hoof stump. His weight was slight and easy to bear and she found that she liked the feel of his hand on her shoulder and how he chattered about boars and hooves with the same excitement she had felt when she had been a young apprentice. She didn’t even mind the surprised smiles and stares the sentries gave her as she trotted back out the front gates.

“Can we go fast?” Liam asked, leaning his chin on her shoulder and talking directly into her ear.

She probably should have said no, that his wound was still too raw to be jostled, but she Felt the lure that was coming from the golden light. She would certainly surprise everyone if she galloped up with a laughing Liam astride her back. No one would expect such behavior from her.

Perhaps it was time that she did a little of the unexpected.

“Hold tight,” she said over her shoulder and launched herself forward. She did, of course, keep one hand on the boy’s leg to steady him, but she was pleased to feel the child settle into a deep, firm seat and hold tight to her. He didn’t bobble around and flail his arms annoyingly. Actually the boy stuck to her like a particularly persistent tick, an image that made her smile. When she pounded around the bend in the land and the southern plateau opened up before her, she ignored the workers, and widened her stride, cutting in and around the clumps of humans, centaurs, and New Fomorians, and was rewarded with Liam’s whoop of excitement.

She didn’t slow until she caught sight of Elphame’s distinctive figure. The Chieftain was part of a small group standing near the cliff which fell dramatically down to the shore far below. Their heads were bowed over a large wooden table situated under an awning meant to serve as protection from the crisp sea wind. Brighid recognized Lochlan’s tall, winged shape, as well as the old centaur Stonemaster, Danann. Beside him stood a wide-shouldered, amber-haired warrior who made her heart squeeze in her chest.

Once she saw Cuchulainn she didn’t have to tell herself sternly to go over there and get this first meeting over with. The truth was, she was drawn to him, as if his golden light was a beacon guiding her home. The Huntress galloped up to the small group in a rush of pounding hooves and boyish giggles. She slid to a stop beside Elphame, who laughed in surprise.

“Brighid, Liam, I was wondering when the two of you would join us,” Elphame said, eyes glittering with humor.

“Brighid got a boar! It smells like mud and anger. And I got its hoof!” Liam proudly held up the bloody stump like a trophy.

“Mud and anger, huh? That doesn’t surprise me. I don’t particularly like boars,” Elphame said.

Lochlan’s arm went around her waist, and she automatically leaned into her mate. “I’m rather fond of them. Isn’t that true, my heart?” He and Elphame shared an intimate look, remembering that it was the attack of a wild boar that had brought them together for the first time.

“Well, I am fond of eating them,” Danann said. The old centaur moved to clasp Brighid’s forearm warmly. “Well met, Huntress. I missed greeting you last night.”

“Well met, Stonemaster.” Brighid gestured to the grounds before them, filled with clan members and New Fomorians, all busily erecting tents. “In this horde, it’s easy to miss one another.” She drew in a fortifying breath and finally allowed herself to look directly at Cu. She’d opened her mouth to wish him a friendly good morning, but the sight of him made her words catch in her throat.

He was so different from the Cuchulainn who had stumbled from her room the night before that the nonchalant greeting she had prepared vanished from her mind. Goddess! He looked vibrant and powerful-like the warrior he had been; only now the boyishness that had always seemed such a part of him had been forged into the maturity of a man. Where was the grief-stricken, broken Cuchulainn she had traveled with and shared quarters with in the Wastelands? Like her flippant greeting, he too had vanished. In his place was a warrior whose hair was washed and neatly cut short. The reddish beard that had covered his face was gone. The lines that had formed at the corners of his eyes were still there, but he had lost that weary, dark-shadowed look. And he was watching her carefully, with those knowing turquoise eyes and lips that were just beginning to tilt up.

“You’re looking at me as if you don’t recognize me. I didn’t look that bad before, did I?”

Her first coherent thought was that he didn’t seem nervous to be around her at all. His deep voice was full of good humor, and his smile looked mischievous.

Elphame answered while Brighid was still trying to find her voice. “Brighid’s obviously being polite, so I’ll say it. Yes-” she punched her brother’s arm playfully “-you did look that bad.”

“Well, I like your hair short,” Liam chimed in from her back. “I like Brighid’s long, and yours short. Of course Brighid’s is prettier, though.”

Cuchulainn laughed heartily and strode over to sweep the boy from the centaur’s back. “I’ll tell you a secret.” Plopping Liam down on the ground near Brighid, he bent and, with an exaggerated whisper said, “I like her hair long and I think it’s prettier than mine, too.” Then his eyes met hers with a heat and intensity that was in direct contradiction to the light tone of his words.

Brighid felt like someone had knocked all of the air from her lungs.

“Oh, Cu.” Elphame rolled her eyes at her brother. “You are incorrigible.” But the happiness on his sister’s face clearly showed how pleased she was that once again she had reason to banter playfully with her favorite brother. “Come on, Brighid, let’s leave these males, and I’ll catch you up on what we’ve decided for the New Fomorian village.”

“But Brighid has to teach me about tracks,” Liam said.

“Your first lesson is this one,” Brighid said firmly. “When your Chieftain asks you to accompany her, you change your plans and obey.” The boy instantly looked chagrined, and the Huntress had to stop herself from reaching out to run a consoling hand through his fluffy hair. She couldn’t expect him to grow if she coddled him, and he needed to understand that Elphame’s word was MacCallan law. “The second lesson is one that you must learn on your own. Take the hoof and go over to the tree line. Brush aside the pine needles until the soft earth of the forest is exposed, then press it firmly into the ground. Learn its shape. Touch the indentation it makes. Memorize everything about it. I’m counting on you to help me track the next boar.”

Liam’s face instantly brightened. “I won’t let you down!” And off he went, scampering across the grassy plateau toward the line of pine trees.

“He’s healing quickly,” Cuchulainn said.

“Yes, he’s a strong boy,” she answered without looking at Cu.

“Riding on your back he looked happier than I’ve ever seen him,” Lochlan told her.

Brighid’s gaze shifted to the winged man. “I should have waited to ask your permission to accept him as my apprentice. Forgive me for overstepping.”

Lochlan’s smile was warm. “Huntress, I believe now is the perfect time for many of the old traditions to be overstepped. But if you need my permission, know that I grant it to you readily. With or without my blessing, the boy obviously belongs to you.”

“I couldn’t agree more, Lochlan. It’s time we make traditions of our own,” Cuchulainn said, still gazing steadily at the Huntress.

“Good,” Elphame said with satisfaction. “Then you won’t mind explaining to Lochlan and Danann the ideas you and I discussed earlier for where the longhouse and cottages should be built.” Without waiting for her brother’s reply, she linked her arm familiarly through Brighid’s and guided the Huntress away from them.

Brighid could still feel Cuchulainn’s eyes on her.

The women walked together, staying to the seaward side of the busy plateau. It was only when they were well out of the group’s hearing range that Elphame spoke.

“How will I ever be able to thank you for healing Cuchulainn?”

“You owe me no thanks,” Brighid said quickly. “I’m just relieved that it worked. Last night he still seemed…” She hesitated, struggling to choose the right thing to say. “He still seemed shaken. He may not seem quite himself for some time to come,” she explained carefully, hoping to give Elphame a rational reason for Cuchulainn’s lingering looks.

Elphame gave her a fast hug. “I’ll take him just as he is. Of course he’s still missing Brenna. He probably always will, but he’s ready to move forward now. He’s whole again. You’ve returned my brother to me. If there is anything I can ever do for you, know all you need do is ask, my sister.”

“I might need to ask that you allow me to return to Guardian Castle -temporarily, of course.”

Elphame’s brows pulled together. “I don’t understand. You just got home. How can you want to leave again so soon?”

“It’s not that I want to leave,” Brighid explained as they resumed their walk around the plateau. “It’s just that Guardian Castle ’s Huntress returned to the Centaur Plains suddenly, without appointing a replacement. I couldn’t help but notice that their need for a Huntress was great. I thought I might, perhaps, give them aid. With your permission,” she added.

For a moment Elphame didn’t speak. She just studied her friend. Then she looked over Brighid’s shoulder at Cu. Brighid turned and saw his strong body silhouetted against the clear spring sky. He was turned in her direction, just standing. And staring.

“Harrumph,” Elphame said, abruptly taking her friend’s arm again and continuing their walk.

“So,” Brighid continued, trying to hide her discomfort. “If I need to leave, temporarily, would I have your permission?”

“Are you running away?” Elphame asked.

Brighid began the denial, and then closed her mouth. She looked her friend in the eye. She didn’t want to lie to her Chieftain, and she realized that she couldn’t lie to her friend. “Yes. I think I might be.”

Elphame’s brow wrinkled. “I want to ask you something, but I need you to know that you may answer me honestly without jeopardizing our relationship. You have my word as your friend, as well as your Chieftain, on that.”

Stomach clenching, Brighid nodded.

“Does the fact that Cuchulainn desires you repulse you?” When Brighid drew in a shocked breath, Elphame hurried on. “I mean, it would be understandable if it made you uncomfortable. It’s hard to totally set aside the teachings of our childhood. The Dhianna Herd does not mix with humans, so it wouldn’t be surprising if-”

“No!” Brighid cut her off. “By the Goddess, no! Humans don’t repulse me. Cuchulainn doesn’t repulse me. But what makes you think he desires me?”

“I have eyes. I know my brother. You’re very beautiful, Brighid, and my brother has always been interested in beautiful women.”

“I’m not a woman,” she said flatly.

Elphame brushed aside her objection with a restless motion of her hand. “Men find you beautiful and desirable, just as centaurs do. You must know that. And it’s obvious Cu desires you. He’s not trying to hide his attraction.” Elphame shook her friend’s arm as if to shake some sense into her. “The two of you experienced something very intimate. I’m not sure about the details of how a Shaman brings a soul back to the land of the living, but I do know that you had to have been joined with him, spirit-to-spirit, for the retrieval to have been successful. And it was decidedly successful.”

“El.” Brighid drew a deep breath and guided her friend closer to the edge of the cliff so the sound of crashing waves would ensure they wouldn’t be overheard. “Cuchulainn does not repel me. At all.”

Elphame’s eyes widened and she grinned. “You desire him, too! Someday you’re going to have to tell me what does happen during a soul retrieval.”

“Elphame-do not get all doe-eyed and romantic about this. Keep it in perspective. What Cuchulainn is feeling for me is simply the residue of an unusually intimate experience.” She gave her friend a stern look. “And, no! I will not tell you the details.”

El sighed. “I suppose I could ask Cuchulainn…”

“Goddess no!” Then the Huntress’s eyes narrowed as she understood her friend was only teasing. “This is not a matter for jesting.”

“Sorry,” Elphame said insincerely.

Brighid frowned at her. “As I was trying to explain-Cuchulainn just thinks he desires me because of what we experienced together. That will fade. That’s why it would be best if I absented myself from MacCallan Castle for a little while. To give him time to return to himself.”

“I understand your reasoning. It’s highly logical and realistic.” Elphame smiled slyly at her friend. “And it doesn’t take into account my brother’s stubbornness.”

“Of course it does.”

Elphame laughed. “Do you remember when Cu first realized his feelings for Brenna were serious?”

“Yes. His actions were far too annoying to easily forget. He made a complete ass of himself pursuing the poor girl relentlessly until she…” Brighid suddenly ran out of words.

Elphame arched one brow. “So you didn’t take into account his stubbornness. I also couldn’t help but notice that you’ve said Cu’s feelings were caused by the soul retrieval. But you’ve failed to mention much about your own.”

“Your brother and I are friends. I like him and I respect him,” she prevaricated.

“You are friends who care about and respect each other. Now add to that your beauty and the legendary centaur passion.” Elphame raised her voice and talked over her friend’s sarcastic snort. “Plus my brother’s definite flair with females, and then mix into it a soul-touching, intimate experience. Seems to me that unless you’re repulsed by humans it could all add up to much more than temporary infatuation.”

Brighid stared down into the frothy ocean. She was incredibly moved by what Elphame was saying. Her friend was making it clear that she would accept any kind of relationship Brighid had with Cu. Her heart tripped around in her chest. If only…

“It’s not that easy,” she finally said.

“Love rarely is,” Elphame said.

“El, I can’t love him! I can’t shapeshift.”

“After what you’ve just experienced in the spirit realm I shouldn’t have to remind you that love has more to do with the soul than it does the body.”

“Then I phrased it wrong,” Brighid said wearily. “The problem isn’t that I can’t love him. The problem is that if I do, I’ll forever desire what is absolutely and utterly impossible.”

“Look, I know you don’t like to talk about it, but your mother is-” Elphame broke off at her friend’s look of shock. “I’m sorry, Brighid. I didn’t mean to cause you pain by bringing up your family.”

“It’s not that.” Brighid wiped a shaky hand across her face. “It’s Brenna.”

“Brenna?”

“She-she came to me in a dream. Here, at MacCallan Castle. Oh, Goddess! I didn’t even realize until just now…”

“What is it, Brighid?”

The Huntress pressed her hand to her heart where it beat wildly against her chest. “She wanted my oath that I would keep an open mind to things that seemed impossible. She used that word exactly, El.”

Elphame’s eyes were bright with tears. “Did Brenna look happy?”

The Huntress nodded and her eyes filled, too.

“Did she say anything else?”

Brighid nodded slowly. “She said I could tell Cu about her visit, but not right away, that I’d know the right time. She also said that…” She hesitated, emotion choking her words.

Elphame took her friend’s hand.

“Oh, El-she said that she was leaving Cu to me. Freely, and without any hesitation. I-I thought she was talking about the soul retrieval. I never thought… I didn’t realize…”

“She was telling you that you have her blessing to love him,” Elphame said.

“I think she was.”

Elphame wiped at her cheeks. “Do you still think you should run away to Guardian Castle?”

Brighid smiled through her tears at her friend. “I can’t. I swore an oath to be open to the impossible. I have to stay and face it.”

“Well, my brother would certainly qualify as impossible.”

“And there you, Brenna and I are in perfect agreement.”