Brutally Beautiful

Chapter 3

An unexpected warm rush of heat spread across my chest as soon as I looked up from concentrating on the bottle of whiskey. I was trying to calm the nausea down from that drunken degenerate’s attempt at manhandling me, counting to twenty in my head and taking deep breaths.

Mother-effin’ twenty.

Son-of-a-bitch nineteen.

Eighteen, seventeen… Calmly closing my eyes, my brain was still screeching at the pot-bellied piss infected Neanderthal. My insides wanted to claw his eyes out and dickkick him for touching me.

Three.

Two, just breathe…one.

My eyes fluttered open and all thoughts about drunken men touching me vanished. Actually, all my thoughts completely faded into oblivion when I noticed a strange man watching me. I heard myself gasp when I saw him. The air just sort of sucked itself right out of my lungs. Not only was he devastatingly handsome, he was staring at me.

Me.

Not Natalie, aka Lace, who was up on the stage wearing only her sparkly little thong and humping a pole.

Not Bree, the blonde bombshell who every man drools over.

Me.

I’m just going to put it out there, right now. I’ve never seen a man watch me like that before. It was personal. Intimate. I mean…I was one of those women who got acknowledged for their brains more often than their looks. And I took pride in myself for that. I liked being intelligent and confident, but that look…

My cheeks heated at the severity of the stare; his gaze was unnerving. It was animalistic and primal. Hot-as-hell; it made me tingle with a damp warmth between my thighs and against the cotton material of my panties.

I was completely embarrassed. Fully flushed and blushing, I was literally reacting like some silly virgin from a cheesy romance novel. Then…then to make matters worse, I started to fan myself a bit with one of the laminated menus.

But, damn, it felt good to be looked at like that, you know? It was a look that made you want to swing your hips a bit more, smile a little wider for, because you knew this man was enjoying the view, appreciating the way you looked. I felt wanted. Desired. Hungered for. Lusted. Preyed on. Was this what Lace was feeling right now on stage with all the men watching her?

I fanned myself faster.

He was leaning back against the red velvet of the booth chair, dressed in an expensive looking tuxedo. His hair was as black as mine, deep inky black, and wildly arranged on his head. His face…all hard angles. His skin was light, pale against the silky darkness of his hair. A jaw carved out of stone, strong cheekbones and full perfect lips. But those weren’t the attractive features of him. Well, they were, but it was more than that. He seemed to wear a deep intelligence and life experience in his expression. Strength and pain. Knowledge, endurance, and raw danger were blatant on the planes and hollows of his skin. Dangerous and unfriendly, an angry outsider looking into the world from some far distant places in his mind. The sort of man that didn’t fit in. The one you would always pick out of the crowd as different, uncomfortable and on edge. Kind of like me.

I stared at him a little too long, holding his gaze, which made my senses, all of them, kick into overdrive. The exchange was maddening and arousing, and like nothing I’d ever felt before, primal and visceral in texture. It was purely mouthwatering.

My eyes diverted to Dylan, who had just sat down next to him and without a doubt, I knew they were brothers. Where Dylan’s features were soft and blond, this man was a chiseled, harder, darker version of him. Serious trouble.

The man’s dark eyebrows were pulled together and light pale-gray, almost colorless eyes, stared fiercely into mine. Raw and primal, as if I was being hunted.

Hunted? For a moment, terror surged through my body. Could this man have been sent to hurt me? Did they find me? As quickly as the thought came, I debunked it. No one was going to be coming after me. There was no way of knowing where I was or that I survived.

No, this man who was staring at me like that wanted me.

Squeezing my thighs together against my moist panties, I shivered uncomfortably. I wanted to gag at the pathetic nature of my discomfort. Whenever I had listened to other women say silly things like, “Oh, it was love at first sight,” or “I felt sparks right away,” I always laughed. I guess I just never felt that. There were other things, more important things than men in my life. There wasn’t such a thing as love at first sight. I didn’t even believe in lust at first sight. I was a true believer of hotness at first sight, but that’s about it. I’ve felt love and lust before. But this, what I felt while this dangerous man fucked me vigorously with his eyes, it was insane. Intense. It might have been the first time in my life that being a woman had made me feel good. Okay, it made me feel like a porn star, and no man had ever made me feel like that. There, I said it. We’re all adults here, right? I mean, I shouldn’t be ashamed. I’ve already told you my panties were wet, so my dignity was out the window.

He was still staring at me. Even though I quickly looked away, I could feel his eyes on me, as if they were burning an impression against my memory. Touching every one of my nerve endings with the rough dangerous caress of his eyes.

Then he just dropped his head down low, spoke to Dylan for another few minutes, ran both his hands through his hair, drained his drink, and stalked out of the bar. My insides ached to run after him and just pretend to bump into him, just to see him up close, and to see those eyes stare at me like that again.

Just watching him walk to the door had my pulse beating harder. His gait and long, strong strides had me biting down on my lip. I smiled to myself thinking that, maybe for the first time in my life, I might have been acting like a normal healthy sexual woman. I shook the thoughts from my head. It was nice to feel good, to feel confident, and to believe in myself again, but I wasn’t ready to deal with men any time soon, especially one that looked like he should have a triple X rating tattooed on his forehead. This was one of those men a woman would probably shrink in heartbreak from, weeping loud and bitterly into their extra-large-super-sized apple martini glasses. What am I talking about? It was silly and immature of me to think I could judge a man by his likeness and not by his character, foolish and naive. I was not by any means a foolish girl, who fluttered away on whims and heady needs. Heady needs? Maybe I needed a vibrator; it had been way too long.

“Hey, Lainey,” Dylan said, as he slid behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of tequila. “What put that smile on your face?”

“Oh, nothing,” I said as I wiped down the bottle of whiskey I was stupidly smiling at. “That gentleman you were sitting next to, just now, that was a relative, right?” Oh Lord, why was I asking questions about him?

Dylan rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Yeah, he’s my brother, Kade.”

“It’s sort of eerie how you look the same, yet completely opposite. He’s like the darker version of you,” I laughed, playfully. Is he married? What does he do? Is he intelligent? Is he playful? Does he like long walks on the beach and can you give him my number? Shut up and don’t ask! Being in the woods this long is making me crazy, and I’m definitely buying a vibrator. That should have been the first thing I packed when I left!

Dylan didn’t laugh with me.

His eyebrows furrowed and his lips tightened into a small scowl. “He’s definitely a dark version of something. Listen, stay away from him if he ever comes in here again. He probably won’t anyway, but if he does, just ignore him. He’s tainted with a ton of issues. He’s a loner anyway, doesn’t date, and doesn’t enjoy being around people, sorry love. He’s pretty savage.”

Okay, he’s not making any sense. I was just asking if they were brothers, not to set me up with him. I didn’t ask any of those questions out loud.

“I wasn’t saying I was interested in him or anything, I had just noticed the resemblance, that’s all. What’s wrong with him?”

Dylan chuckled, full out laughed, and then all the seriousness drained away from his features as his eyes fixed on mine. “Nothing, love. He’s like a living-breathing-yet-emotionally-dead J. D. Salinger, but with more secrets. I think he just finds his own mind so much more interesting than anyone else’s, that he locks himself away because he doesn’t like distractions. And he’s got major trust issues. Savage.”

“J. D. Salinger? So, he’s a writer?” I asked.

“Yeah, but he’s more of an arsehole, so just steer clear of him. He could be intentionally hostile to people most of the time just to keep everyone at a distance. Vicious and savage.”

Third time. That was the third time he said savage. Dylan walked away, leaving me standing there, even more curious than before our talk. I wondered if he had drunk too much tonight. Obviously, Dylan knew nothing about women, because he just intrigued the hell out of me with his warning. Men were so clueless sometimes.

I spent the rest of that night wondering about Kade, and the reasons Dylan gave me to stay away from him. However, I ended up wasting my time wondering if I’d ever see him again, because within twelve hours, he was sitting in his dark corner, alone, watching me, again. Dressed in a crisp white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his suit jacket flung neatly over the back of the booth, he looked like he was waiting for an important business meeting, yet his attention was all on me.

I was hoping not to see him again.

Not anytime soon anyway, and especially not that night. Dylan spent that entire morning grumbling about Kade and how screwed up in the head he was, repeatedly telling me to stay away from him. Why he didn’t mention anything to Bree, was beyond me. That in itself made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Why wouldn’t he be warning Bree about him? Bree was the one that he should care about, not me.

I chanced a small peek at him from behind the bar. His jaw was clenched and his eyes looked so dangerous, they made my heart hammer in my chest and echo in my ears. A muscle twitched in his jaw as he leaned back against the red leather cushion of his seat. Crossing his arms over his broad chest, he ferociously stared at me, like a caged animal, and I was his prey. The common sense in me knew women shouldn’t like being objectified, like the way his eyes roamed my body, but I did. I liked it. A lot. It stirred an emotion in me as if I had just found out I had some sort of super power; it was powerful, raw, and dirty. It was intensely sexy as hell and my stomach fluttered with the excitement of it. God, I needed to get a grip and a life. I definitely needed to get a life. Quickly, I backed into the kitchen door, pushed it open with a swing of my hip, and ran in.

I found Dylan with his phone to his ear, smiling like an idiot. He pointed his index finger to the phone and mouthed, Bree. Covering the mouthpiece, he whispered, “I’m picking her up in a few. Are you sure you’re okay for a few hours?”

Nodding a smile in return, I calmly said, “Your brother is sitting at the back table.”

His face went pale, and then an enormous smile brightened his features. “Twice in two days, that’s a record. Maybe he’s returned to the human race. Take his order, let’s see what he does.” Then he reached his hand out to touch my shoulder. “Just…if he says anything nasty to you, don’t take it personally. Just give it right back to him and I’ll handle him if you can’t. Then I’ll go get Bree.” His hands were completely covering his phone now, and I laughed, knowing full well that Bree was still talking to him on the other end.

“Dylan, trust me. I can handle people. Just go take Bree out. You guys have been flirting like two sheltered teenagers with me as the third wheel for the last two months, so go have fun. She deserves a nice date.” Before I reached the door, I tapped my hand on the frame to make sure I had his attention, “Oh, and be romantic. She likes romance and all those girly things. She loves when a man brings her flowers.”

I walked out and around the bar, across the floor and stood right next to Kade’s table. Heat flamed across my body and I forced myself to take a deep breath before speaking. “Hello, I’m Lainey. What may I get for you today?”

Kade looked up, but his glare didn’t reach my eyes. He just looked at my shoulder, or just above it. His dark brows furrowed together and his lips turned down like he was appalled at my question, his face as hard as granite. “Another waitress,” he growled darkly.

“Well, then,” I smiled brightly trying not to show my complete mortification. I was confused. Wasn’t he just looking at me as if I was the last woman on earth? The sexy man was supposed to flirt with me and ask me for my number. I was supposed to decline kindly and walk away, feeling a little more confident in myself, like I could still pull off being sexy. He was ruining my fantasy. “I hope you enjoy the next few hours without a drink then, because I’m the only waitress here tonight.”

“Where’s Dylan?” he barked.

“He has a date tonight and since there’s never anyone here on a Monday, he’s taking a few hours off and I’m here.” All right then, that was enough, hop on out of here, jerk. Bye. Off you go now. I bent forward and spoke lower, “I guess that means you should leave?” I know I shouldn’t have said that, but I was angry. He made me feel like a goddess and now he didn’t even want to speak to me.

Intense stormy gray eyes flickered up to mine. There was a strange silence that traveled between us in the empty bar. His stare was dark and hostile. Antagonistic. Murderous. His whole demeanor was tense. “Fuck. Are your eyes green?” he asked, venomously. His fierce eyes maintained complete unwavering contact with mine, the kind of look that makes you want to back down.

I sure as fuck didn’t back down from anyone. I’ve eaten boys bigger than him for a snack.

I was surprised though. That wasn’t what I was expecting to come out of his mouth. “Yes. Scandalous isn’t it? Maybe I should poke them out for you and insert a color of your choice? Are you against all green-eyed waitresses taking your orders, or am I the only lucky one?”

His posture instantly changed. He leaned his body away from me, a look of complete fury falling across his features, as if he just watched me kick a newborn baby clear across the room and do a touchdown dance. What the hell is wrong with him? We had never even spoken before today. Maybe he had some mental issues going on.

From the corner of my eye, I watched as his right hand clenched into a tight fist, the tendons of his arms twisting and straining against his skin. His left hand gripped the edge of the table, knuckles turning white, as if he were holding on for dear life.

His dark eyebrows pinched together and his gaze averted to the stage behind me. His eye narrowed and with a curled lip, he muttered dryly, “Why don’t you just make yourself useful and lose your clothes and dance.”

Was he trying to piss me off? I stood frozen, blinking my eyes blankly at him. “I’m not a stripper.”

“I’ll pay you,” he smiled tightly, still looking beyond me at the stage.

“I. Am. Not. A. Stripper.”

“I bet you would be for ten grand,” he smirked, meeting his eyes to mine.

The urge to smack him tingled through my hand, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Forcing myself to detach from the situation, which was something I was trained to do, I smiled wider. “So, you think because you offered me ten thousand dollars, I would gladly jump on that stage and dance for you?” Was I on camera? Was he serious?

For a few slow heartbeats, he glared at me. Leaning forward, his voice dropped into a low raspy whisper, “For ten grand, I’m betting you’d do a hell of a lot for me.” He was dead serious.

I pulled out the chair across the table from him and sat down, clasping my hands together and plopped them under my chin. This conversation was not going to end well. I didn’t want to screw up anything for Bree by attacking my boss’s brother. I certainly couldn’t afford to cause any attention to where we were hiding by beating him to a bloody pulp either, so I had to calmly figure out how to deal with this animal.

“Please, Kade. Do tell me what makes you come to this conclusion of me, having never met me before.”

He stood up, and I immediately regretted thinking I could sit down and talk this out with him. Obviously, he needed to be taken to a psych ward, the freaking Freud Squad, for immediate evaluation. He was glaring down at me, raging gray eyes full of disgust. “You’re just like all the other sheep around here. Maybe a tad bit prettier than the rest of them, and I’m certain you will use it to your bloody advantage, people always do.” He flattened down his shirt and backed away from the table. “Now go make yourself useful, shake your pretty little ass up there for me and earn yourself a year’s salary. Maybe you could buy yourself something pretty with the money. And, don’t call me Kade. It’s Mr. Grayson, since it’s your job here to serve me.” His slight English accent becoming more pronounced the angrier he got.

Again, I gave him a sweet smile, but damn, my hands were clenched into sweaty fists that were aching to knock a few of his perfect teeth out. “Wow. Big head, small mind, huh? I wouldn’t have pegged you as mentally incompetent, but I guess you really can’t judge a book by its cover.” I stood up slowly and leaned both hands down on the table. “I won’t dance for your money, Mr. Grayson. Sorry to shatter your clichéd stereotypical expectations of me.” He had no idea who I was or what things I had accomplished in my lifetime. Then again, look at what he was seeing; a pale faced woman, wearing ripped jeans, worn sneakers with holes in them, and hustling tables in a strip joint in the middle of nowhere, so maybe he’s right to assume things. I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I spun on my heels and walked away. Screw him. I knew this was the part I had to play now, but GOD, did it twist me up inside not being able to be myself in front of everyone.

“So why are you here then? If you’re not this clichéd version of a sheep I believe you are? Why not do something better with your life?” He barked. Oh, what now? Was he trying to save the poor waitress with his Prince Charming complex or was it an ignorant attempt at continuing the conversation with me?

Looking back, I met my eyes to his challenging ones. “How do you know I haven’t? And how do you know that this, right here, isn’t better than someplace else I’ve been?”

His mouth snapped shut. His dangerous dark features softened for a mere second before I turned my back to him and left him alone in the bar. This was his brother’s bar, I was sure if he wanted a drink bad enough, he’d know how to pour it, or snap his fingers to get some magical fairy that could. I sat behind the bar, pulled out my phone and pulled up some online newspapers to read figuring it was going to be a long night with him staring at me from his back table, fuming like a toddler for not getting under my skin. To hell with him, my skin was way too tough for some pathetic gorilla in a Gucci suit to break through.

Within ten minutes, I was blissfully comfortable reading the New York Times on the small screen of my phone, no longer thinking about Mr. Grayson. The next twenty minutes passed without incident, until a cold wind blew in from two older men coming through the front doors. The gentlemen, who were regulars, greeted me with a warm wave and before I could even get to their table, they called for two beers and two plates of burgers and fries.

Peeking my head into the kitchen, I whistled for Trevor, who was cooking that night and had to wake him up off one of the cots in the back room to cook. He groaned and muttered profanities at me playfully all the way back into the bar area, and I came out of the back laughing. My eyes went directly to the table Kade had sat in before, and to my relief, it was empty. But, when I grabbed two cold beers from the coolers behind the bar, I heard the slide of one of the bar stools across the wooden floors right next to me.

“Have a drink with me,” Kade’s husky voice said.

I looked up, stunned by his demand. He was leaning against the stool, which he had pulled up next to mine and was pouring an enormous glass of brandy for himself. There was no malice in his expression, no disgust from before, but his eyes were suspicious and cautious. Maybe he has multiple personalities?

Without giving him an answer, I turned and walked towards the two customers with their beers, telling them their food would be out in a few minutes. Walking back behind the bar, I pulled my stool as far as I possibly could from him and sat down, ignoring his glare.

“Did you not hear me or are you just ignoring me? Maybe you’re too simpleminded to understand me?” he demanded. Nope, not multiple personalities, just one big egotistical shitty one.

I laughed a small soft laugh and gave him a sad smile. I was too old to play games. I was too messed up with my own issues to care about his, and I didn’t do drama, not even on TV. “No, thank you, Mr. Grayson. Trying to intimidate me and putting me down might make you feel like more of a man in your small world, but it does nothing for me. I’ll enjoy sitting here alone a lot more.” I turned my back on him and continued reading my phone, in my mind betting that was the first time anyone told him no. I’m sure Kade Grayson had a long line of interested women offering their dancing services or doormat services to him for his money, but I wasn’t going to be one of them.

From the corner of my eye, I could still see the intensity of his stare. The man made me want to turn my head and stick out my tongue at him, and kick him hard in the shin. I didn’t though. I just watched him drain his drink, quietly place it back on the bar, push off from the stool, and walk to the exit as he whispered, “Goodnight, Lainey.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Grayson.”

After a while, when the men that were sitting alone finished their meal, they waved goodbye, leaving me with a generous tip, and I was alone. I didn’t want to let myself wonder about the mental state of Dylan’s brother, but I found myself analyzing what I might have done to cause such hostility in a man that had, only moments before, looked at me with such intense desire in his eyes that it made my knees weak. I came to no conclusions.

After a few quiet hours, Dylan and Bree came back from their date, followed by a friend of Dylan’s they had met up with along the way. Dylan jumped behind the bar, had us sit around a table, and brought out some beers for us. I just sipped at mine, feeling more and more uncomfortable with the events that occurred with Kade a few hours before. I wished I understood where his anger stemmed from; it could not have truly been from me, so I wondered where the misplaced anger was born. Being the person I was, I couldn’t walk away from a puzzle, no matter how complicated it presented itself to be. Especially if it took my mind off of the situation I was in.

“You are certainly as nice looking as Dylan said you were,” a male voice murmured at the table. Hmm. Nice looking…I hated that adjective used on me…

I shook the thoughts about Kade out of my head and looked up to see Dylan’s friend. Short brown hair, angular features, and a long Roman nose. A nose, which he held up in the air and constantly wrinkled as though criticizing a nasty odor that no one else could detect. He had a handsome smile; a right as rain Mr. Perfect. He was nowhere near as shockingly handsome as Kade and his dangerous dark features. With that thought, I gulped down my beer and had the strong desire to punch myself in the face. Why the hell would I compare him to Kade? Kade was a mean piece of work, and someone I would never allow myself to spend time with, no matter how attractive he was. I learned my lessons well about good-looking, dangerous, powerful men and believe me, Kade needed to be the last thing on my mind.

“I’m Francis, by the way.”

“Lainey. Pleasure to meet you,” I smiled.

Bree giggled next to me, obviously happy about this little set up. She wanted me to be happy here, and I understood her wanting to stay and make a home here. I just didn’t know what my plans were yet.

Francis talked with me for the rest of the night. He was a yapper and a gossipmonger, talking about everything and everyone. I let him dominate most of our conversations, which he fell into easily and I found him witty and kind. And so freaking boring. But right then, boring was good and the lack of effect and attraction was good for me, helped me to keep a distance. He was some sort of Environmental Scientist that specialized in something or other and had just returned home from somewhere in the Artic, and some other things that I really couldn’t stand to keep up with, but he was thrilled about telling me, so I just listened as much as humanly possible. He was born and raised in Oregon; married then divorced, backpacked across Europe for a few years while studying abroad, and thankfully was too narcissistic and self-absorbed to ask any personal questions about me.

He was sweet and nice, overly friendly and attentive; the complete opposite of most men I’d known. And, when the night was winding down, he asked, “Since you’re relatively new to this town, how about you let me take you out and show you around? I would really love a chance to get to know you.”

“That sounds nice,” I said, wanting to want to go, but honestly cringing at the thought of listening to his nonstop blabbering. Maybe he was just nervous and he’d be better on a date?

“How about tomorrow night? Can I steal you away from the bar for a while?”

Eager, are we?

“That sounds lovely,” I smiled. Then I told him where the trailer was that Bree and I lived in. He didn’t look down on me and he didn’t make me feel like I was just a lowly waitress or some stripper he could buy a lap dance from and then throw away. I looked forward to the date, if just for the fact that he was the complete opposite of Kade Grayson.

After Dylan drove Bree and I home, he came in for a while and they eyed each other as if they were ready to pounce, making me feel like the ugly redheaded stepchild that follows you around the playground, humming to herself. The three of us were standing in the small kitchen and she batted her eyelashes towards him in that flirtatious way I could never attempt for fear of looking like I was having an epileptic attack. Suddenly, my phone seemed really interesting to me and I uploaded every stupid app I’d heard about in the last month. Scrabble, sure! Bejeweled? Why Not. Word-With-Friends? Bring it! Singles support group? Hell yeah.

Dylan and Bree started peeking at the bedroom, obviously wondering how to go about dealing with the issue that was me. Let me translate: small trailer, one bedroom with two single beds and I don’t cherish watching live porn. Or having threesomes, for that matter. I would think that they took way too much coordination, way too much thought on where to put my elbows, and one more wet spot to worry about. Oh, and I am way too competitive, because if I didn’t score the winning shot, I’d be pissed off.

“Hey,” I waved at both of them. “Hi…how are you? Remember me? Lainey? Yeah… So… Um, why don’t you move this potential slumber party you’re both having in your heads to, let’s say, Dylan’s place, so I don’t have to be scarred for life, sound good?”

“Will you be okay here alone?” Bree whispered.

“Yes, of course, go have fun,” I laughed.

Dylan’s shoulders relaxed and he nodded his head like a dork.

Bree clapped her hands as if she won the lottery and skipped into our bedroom yelling about packing a bag of things she’d need. Oh Lord, he’s in for a wild ride. “Dylan, prepare to be boarded…and don’t forget to fasten your seatbelt,” I giggled.

Raising his eyebrows, the man looked downright giddy. God, they belonged together.

“So, Lainey, I forgot to ask, how was my brother tonight?”

“Fine,” I said, because that was the only four-letter f-word I wasn’t thinking of.

“Fine is never a word that comes to mind when I think of Kade,” he said, raking his hands through his hair. Then he ran one hand over his face and sighed, “I wish I knew how to help him, but he’s chosen such a solitary life. I think he loves his misery.” I said nothing, and he looked at me and shrugged, continuing. “But, something brought him out tonight, yeah? I wonder what it was. I’ve never seen him two nights in a row.”

“Has he been evaluated? Seen by a medical professional? Is he manic?” I slapped my hand over my mouth. Hell, when am I going to learn to keep my mouth shut?

Dylan scoffed and offered me a sad smile. “No, love. Believe me, my brother is doing a public service being the recluse he is. He’s got demons to work through, but nothing medical.”

Bree came running out of the bedroom with an overstuffed messenger bag slung off one of her shoulders. The expression plastered on her face was almost euphoric, like she’d already started having sex without him. I couldn’t even think past that thought. I just smiled at her, shook my head, and looked down at my sneakers.

I desperately needed a new pair.

Bree hugged me tightly, and kissed my cheek. I knew this was big for her, so I gave her a firm squeeze in return, slapped her on the ass, and told her to have fun. She bounced to the door like a twelve year old and waved goodbye to me.

Dylan was right behind her, smiling. He reached out and softly touched my elbow, “Thanks again for taking over the bar tonight. And for putting up with Kade, I’m sure fine wasn’t the word you wanted to say.”

I shrugged, and held the door open for him.

“He’s damaged. And he’s just grown very attached to all his demons.” He jogged down the front wooden steps, and they moaned and creaked with complaints. I wrapped my arms around my chest to shield myself from the cold air that blew through the door and watched them walk to Dylan’s car.

When they drove off, I closed the door, locked it, and climbed right into my bed without even changing my clothes. I was beyond exhausted, but sleep didn’t come easily, tossing, turning, and wondering if Kade Grayson’s demons were as violent and terrifying as mine.

Sleep played a nasty game of laser tag with me all night. Each time I thought I was about to fall under, I’d be zapped awake from a noise, or a nightmare, or the strange whistling sounds of the wind and the rain drizzling against the tin roof of the trailer. I ended up playing on my phone most of the night, searching through any news stories concerning me from the city, wondering what was happening back home and how I was going to plan the rest of my life as somebody completely opposite of who I really was.

My alarm startled me at ten the next morning, causing me to fling my phone across the room and fall right out of bed, almost strangling myself with my covers. I wasn’t used to sleeping on such a narrow mattress. Still half-asleep, I showered, dressed, and started my walk to the bar for an afternoon shift, already dreading my long day and a date with Francis. But, this was my ordinary life now.

Taking off my coat and smoothing down my shirt, I made my way into the bar. It was noon, and a handful of people were seated at tables eating lunch and talking. I walked behind the bar, threw my coat and purse in the small locker just underneath, and met Dylan in the back.

“Hey, you,” Dylan called, popping his head out of one of the freezers.

I held my hand up to him. “Stop. I can’t hold a realistic conversation with anyone right now. Not until I inhale a whole pot of coffee.” I ran to the coffeemaker and fumbled with a huge Styrofoam to-go cup until Dylan came to my side to help me hold it steady. I felt the slight tremors in my hands from my exhaustion as I held up the steaming coffee to my lips and sipped, moaning delightfully. “We are definitely going to need an IV drip in here. I’m sure we could hook that up straight to the back of the coffee machine and pump it right into my veins.”

“Rough night? I thought we left you alone,” Dylan chuckled next to me.

“Yeah, well. I slept in a tin can and it was raining. That’s like being front row at a rock concert to me. Where’s Bree, anyway? You didn’t chop her up into little pieces and bury her in the yard, did you?” I looked up to see Dylan frowning at something behind me. Deep creases settled in the middle of his brows and his eyes widened.

“Burying bodies in the backyard again, Dylan? I thought that was my job,” a deep voice rasped behind me, lightly sprinkled with an accent matching Dylan’s. Shit.

Taking a deep breath, I turned around, narrowing my eyes at Kade, standing in front of us, for the third time in three days.

Dylan echoed my thoughts, “Third time in three days.”

The three of us stood there silent. Dylan gaped, open mouthed at Kade. And Kade? Well, Kade seemed to find something intensely interesting in my eyes. His gaze roamed my face as if looking upon a piece of fine art…gazing at each little piece of me…my eyes, my nose, my neck, and landing intensely on my lips.

Raising my cup up to cover my mouth, I drank my coffee and casually ignored him. There were hundreds of emotions zipping through my head, warring with one another; hate, curiosity, shock, embarrassment, need and…God, I wanted to kick myself for it…lust. You could feel the energy surrounding us shift and tighten as his eyes met back up with mine, daring me, fiercely challenging me to look away, or cower, or whatever game he was playing.

I sure as shit wasn’t going to play any game by his rules.

“I forgot my jacket here last night,” he mumbled, still gawking at me.

“It’s on Dylan’s desk in the back,” I said coolly, turning my back on him and walking away indifferent to his plight. And yes, I did swing my hips and walk straighter when I did. With my chin held high.

Walking out into the bar, I spoke with a few tables full of people asking if they needed anything. A few orders later, I was leaning behind the bar with my ankles crossed and back against the counter.

“Offer still stands,” Kade’s voice murmured in a low gravelly tone. A masculine hand leaned next to me on the bar, which my eyes followed up, along his thick arms and across his chest to meet his eyes. He raised a dark eyebrow at me and smirked.

“Are you that desperate, Mr. Grayson? Tell me, what do you get from trying to belittle me?” I asked, with the best poker face I could muster.

“Most girls would jump at the chance to make that kind of money, for such a little thing.” He licked his lips purposely and seemed to move closer to me than what was socially acceptable in my book. And, dear God, his lips? Seriously, why did he have to have such great lips? “Most girls don’t even ask for the money.” His eyes flickered down my neck, giving me a whole once over before returning to my stare.

“See, there’s your problem,” I began to explain, stepping away. “You’re talking about girls. I’m a grown woman. Big difference.”

“Hey, there you are,” Dylan came behind the counter of the bar stepping between us. “Lainey, you’re exhausted, so go home so you can have a good night. Bree will be in later. And Kade? Can you drive Lainey home?”

“No,” I replied calmly, before Kade could answer. “Thanks for the day off, but I could walk myself home. I definitely like the company more.”

Without another glance or word to either of them, I grabbed my belongings from the locker and walked out of the bar. Relief flooded my belly, thinking I was getting away from that idiot.

“Lainey, wait! Wait,” his voice called after me, closing the door behind him. “I’ll drive you home.”

“No thank you, Mr. Grayson.”

The expression on his face was hard to read, but I didn’t care to figure it out. Kade Grayson wasn’t much to figure out, he was just a complete dick.

“Why? What’s your problem?” he asked, like this would be a surprise to him.

“What’s my problem? You’re acting like a bitch, and if I wanted a bitch, I would have adopted a dog.” I walked away from him as he mumbled something about writer’s block and stupid green eyes.

Fucking sociopath.

All the way back to the trailer, I walked through the woods, not wanting to be anywhere near the road, just in case Kade Grayson lost his last marble and decided to do a drive by on the way home.

By the time I reach my empty trailer, my hands were cut up from catching on bushes. I was emotionally drained and so confused my head was spinning. The man looked at me one way, yet wanted to humiliate me and degrade me into hating him with his words. I thought I already had the market on meeting the most screwed up men before I came here.

Throwing myself on my bed, I closed my eyes and tried to unwind from being emotionally sideswiped by the freight train that was Kade. Immediately, I was asleep, and I awoke hours later when someone was pounding on my trailer door.

I stumbled out of the bedroom and made my way to the front door, and was completely embarrassed when I saw Francis standing on the top step holding a beautiful bouquet of white roses.

Shit. I’m already messing up this date.

But it’s okay. I’ll gloss over our date for you, only highlighting the GOOD parts. He showed up wearing a shirt that read, I recycled this shirt from yesterday! I’ll let you savor that tidbit of information for a minute. Yeah.

He was easy. Careful. Nice. Safe. He held doors open for me. Paid for dinner. Talked about himself constantly and his field of whatever the hell he was interested in while I played word with friends on my phone. I won, by the way, with the word bracketed (triple word score) for 54 points. Woot! And no, I don’t feel guilty for it, because throughout the entire time he was with me, he continuously instagrammed, facebook-statused, and twittered everything that he thought was status worthy. I swear, during dessert his tweet was, ‘There IS no organic soymilk in the ENTIRE RESTAURANT! How do they expect me to drink my tea? WHOLE night is RUINED!’

He was nice, don’t get me wrong, but I really couldn’t have a relationship. I didn’t want to. I told Fran exactly how I felt and was as honest as I could have been with him. Getting to know one another and becoming friends was fine, but more than that, I didn’t want to deal with, especially with someone who was so Fran. I mean, come on, Fran had a five-year plan and at the end, I was his goal. No one should ever have a goal of another person. You can't be someone else. Your goals should be to strive for better things in yourself, not depending on other people. Besides all that, I couldn't do another relationship; I couldn’t trust anyone, not after what happened to me this last year. The only person I put my trust in was Bree, and I was just staying here for her, because I hadn’t seen her this happy since the day my brother asked her to marry him.