Changed

Chapter Nine

Declan watched Rachel from the kitchen, not wanting to intrude as she got to know the pack. After her bath he’d called Chloe and invited her over, thinking it would ease any apprehension Rachel might experience. Although the wolf in him wanted to keep Rachel by his side—greedy and eager for more of her sweet, lithe body—he’d denied the creature.

She’d done so well so far.

He wasn’t fucking things up now.

Chloe had agreed but indicated it was best to introduce Rachel to the pack right away, before any hesitation might build. The full moon was coming, granting them little time, and she felt her friend needed to be up to speed with the pack before she changed. He’d reluctantly agreed. After all, though he adored his mate, Chloe—to his regret—knew Rachel far better than he did.

For now.

“My car is a hunk of junk,” Elise—Clint’s mate—told Rachel, easing into amiable conversation. Chloe had talked about Rachel numerous times with the pack so they knew a lot about her. It made things a tad easier. “Maybe you could take a look at it.”

Rachel’s eyes quickly darted over the room before she asked quietly, “What’s wrong with it?”

He moved immediately, striding to the couch. The pack had taken his mating in stride, congratulating him and Rachel, but he’d wanted to give his female breathing room. Sadly she was nervous again, her worries overriding her newfound liberation. He rested his hand on her shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. When he bathed her he’d learned she ached to be touched. Any kind of contact seemed to settle her. The muscles beneath his palm immediately relaxed and she leaned into his hand.

“It’s got a steady miss. Drives me nuts,” Elise said, shooting Declan a hateful look.

You deserve it. Think of all the times you gave Clint shit about her.

Back in the day he’d have met Elise’s venom with a smile. Now that he had mated he felt a sliver of shame. It wasn’t easy to smile at her but he tried, wanting to make things right for a change. He hadn’t intended to be a smartass all the time. He just hadn’t known how deeply his words had affected Elise on occasion. The heat in the female’s gaze faded, her scowl vanishing.

“Have you changed the sparkplugs?” Rachel asked, fidgeting as she sensed the tension in the room. Until she changed she wouldn’t understand why she reacted in certain ways. A wolf always felt emotion, using the ability to sense feelings as a weapon. “That could be the problem.”

“No, she hasn’t,” Clint interjected, placing his hand on Elise’s neck. “The car is a hunk of junk because she doesn’t care for it properly. She thinks all she has to do is feed it gas and oil and all is well.”

Clint’s eyes lifted and met Declan’s. A rush of relief swept through him. If anyone understood, it would be Clint. His mating with Elise hadn’t been entirely easy. The female had given him hell prior to their mating. Clint had always been a ladies’ man. Elise hadn’t forgiven that. Prior to dreamsharing he’d actually turned his back on his mate. She’d been too young at the time, nowhere near mature enough for him. But she’d felt an awareness that Clint hadn’t. She’d known something had been going on between them. So when the years passed, Elise neared her season and Clint finally got wise to the situation.

Elise hadn’t given in to the mating without a fight.

A knock came from the door and the room went quiet. An odd thing since there were twenty people inside the space. Rachel’s shoulders tensed again, her gaze going to Chloe. Jackson leaned down and kissed the top of his mate’s head before he walked to greet their guest. The night had gone well so far but the good mood might not last. With everything that had transpired it was important to talk to Gavin—Chloe’s father—before they made any important decisions.

Chloe hadn’t seen the male since he’d given her the letters her mother had written to him years ago. Before Chloe had been born her father had been forced to turn away from her mother—his true mate—in order to maintain his arranged mating. As far as Declan knew, Chloe had yet to forgive him. Desiree Benson hadn’t made things easier, either. Once she’d learned about Gavin and Chloe she’d gone crazy. Gavin had banished her from his pack, which had brought them to this point in time.

Jackson opened the door and greeted Gavin. “Come in.”

The heaviness in the room increased, the pack uneasy. Chloe shifted in the loveseat, staring at the ground. When he thought Rachel might rise and go to her friend Declan applied weight to her shoulder, keeping her where she was. She peered up at him, a spark of anger in her eyes. He accepted the anger, knowing soon Rachel would understand. Chloe couldn’t appear weak in front of the pack. By rushing to support her friend, Rachel would imply Chloe couldn’t handle the situation.

Gavin walked in, a near mirror-image of his daughter—blond hair, green eyes, similar facial features. He stopped just inside the room, his gaze resting on his child. Declan felt sorry for the male. The love he felt for his daughter was apparent. He didn’t move closer, waiting for her welcome. They’d spoken on the phone but Jackson hadn’t told the pack how the conversations had gone.

“Rachel,” Chloe finally said, lifting her head, “I’d like you to meet my father.”

Rachel tensed, her muscles drawing tight beneath his hand. Just as Chloe knew Rachel better than him, Rachel knew far more about Chloe’s feelings toward her father than anyone else. Declan didn’t move, waiting to see if the fury he’d seen earlier in his mate resurfaced. Hopefully she wouldn’t cause a scene.

“Hello, Mr. Worthington.” Rachel, brisk and a tad cold to the man.

“Take a seat.” Jackson motioned to an empty chair. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

Gavin wanted to go to Chloe—that much was obvious—but he did as instructed. Sliding into the chair, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I appreciate the invitation. You know how much Chloe means to me.” He gave his daughter a small smile before he looked at Jackson. “What have you found?”

“The snitch is telling the truth,” Shane responded before Jackson could, shoving away from the wall. “I visited him tonight to make sure. No one could stand up under the strain I put him through. He’s not lying.”

“So he’s still alive?” Gavin asked. “You still have him?”

“We do,” Jackson answered, narrowing his eyes. “Why?”

Gavin’s gaze rested on Chloe. “I’d take him to the hunt. Bring the male before the packs prior to the full moon. See if he can identify the person responsible for my daughter’s attack.”

“A female is responsible,” Jackson growled and crossed to Chloe. He stood beside the loveseat and she shifted closer to him, sliding her hand around his leg.

“Desiree?” Gavin asked.

“She might be involved. There’s a chance.” Jackson drew his fingers through Chloe’s blonde curls. “Right now all fingers point to Simone.”

“Simone?” Gavin’s laugh was cynical at best. “That female is dumb as a brick. There’s no way she could pull something like this off without help.” His laughter abated, his voice lowering to a growl. “Desiree could though. With a little assistance.”

“Our source didn’t see Simone but he said he could point her out by scent,” Shane said. “The rogue behind the attack apparently got a bonus when he agreed to help. Seems the female was more than happy to seal the deal with her body. After it was over his friend decided to brag about his conquest. Our rogue got a good dose of her scent coming from his acquaintance. He thinks she tried to mask it with perfume.”

“We all know who does that.” Declan entered the conversation, his fury rising.

Most werewolves avoided cologne as it clogged the nose but not Simone. A few times in her youth—when she tried to dip between the sheets with various males—she’d attempted to hide what she’d done using the stuff.

“You can’t place the blame on someone with something as simple as perfume.” Gavin took a deep breath and appeared to be getting his emotions under control. He steeped his fingers together. “If you bring this before the packs Ward Wilson won’t take it kindly. He adores his daughter.”

“I want this shit over and done,” Jackson snarled, pulling back his lips. Rachel backed up, moving closer to Declan. “My mate will not live in constant fear. As one of the Alphas in this area I’m demanding action. The others need to rein in their wolves before someone gets seriously fucking hurt.”

“I’ll back you up, you know that.” Gavin sat back in the chair with a sigh. “But things in my pack have been unsteady since I denounced Desiree. With Ward offering her sanctuary some might think this is being done out of pettiness on my part. I could cause more harm than good.”

“So what do we do?” Chloe asked quietly. “Nothing?”

“No, we have to do something.” Gavin rose from the chair. “I suggest you bring the informant to the hunt but don’t tell the Alphas what’s going on. Arrive early and ask for a gathering. They know about the attack. They’ll have to listen.” His gaze drifted to his daughter. “I’ve spoken with my wolves. Most of them are willing to accept the mating between you and Jackson and unite our packs. Those who aren’t have been given my blessing to leave. I’m offering—right here and now—to step down as Alpha and let Jackson assume the position if that’s what it takes. I want you to be safe.”

Everyone shut up then. What Gavin had just offered was enormous.

In essence, he’d just handed his pack to Jackson.

Everyone with a wolf’s nose could scent Jackson’s reaction. He was shocked and panicked. Jackson didn’t want a large pack, not being keen on the dynamic. Shit happened in bigger numbers. He’d have to control more people than he felt comfortable with. Everyone had joined Jackson because of that. They preferred his pack’s smaller size as well.

Declan felt torn, knowing he also would have to step up to the plate.

Shane had agreed to be the second-in-command but only for so long. Rachel would have to accept a hell of a lot more than she already had. There was no way he could force Jackson to face the challenge alone. If he did the wolves were likely to rebel and the males would start fighting for pecking order. Things were shitty already. With five unmated males in his pack, Jackson had already been dealing with his fair share of testosterone.

“That’s a lot to consider.”

“I know it is,” Gavin replied. “But it’s one way to keep Chloe from harm.”

“I need to talk to speak to my mate before I make a decision,” Jackson eventually said. “I’ll also need to consult the pack.” The Alpha’s gaze went to Declan and Rachel. “Why don’t you and Shane meet me in the office? I’ll meet you there after I speak to Chloe.”

Declan reached down to pull Rachel from her seat.

Damn it. Motherfucker.

Things had gotten better only to become worse.

Everything was turning into shit.

Rachel couldn’t describe what she was experiencing. Somehow, in some strange way, she could feel Declan’s uneasiness. She tried to force aside her own worries, needing to support him.

After all he’d done, how could she do any less?

He stepped in beside her and she wrapped her arm around his waist—the first time she’d touched him in front of his pack. She felt his muscles shudder beneath her palm, his body warm and firm. For a moment her mind skipped through time, taking her back a few hours.

Declan had run a bath, put her inside the steeping water and had then gone to cook her breakfast. He’d fawned over her. Doted on her. Adored her. She hadn’t been able to focus, finding his presence distracting. To her shame she’d felt the most profound lust—her wolf wanting her to climb on his lap and ride him to completion. She hadn’t been able to stop staring at his shoulder, tempted to bite and mark him in the same way he had her.

“Easy, sweet girl,” Declan whispered and bent down to murmur in the shell of her ear. “We need to take things one step at a time.” Another horrible lick of embarrassment chilled her blood, cooling her ardor. The pack could easily smell her desire. He must have felt it because he added, “I’m as eager as you are. Don’t think for a second I’m not.”

Determined not to stumble, she kept walking, taking his words at face value. Again she felt his wariness. Something wasn’t right. She didn’t have the luxury of worrying about herself. Each time she thought of Declan her heart literally ached.

For him she’d do anything—be anything.

She’d brought it on herself, of course.

So this is how love feels?

“You two go ahead.” Shane opened the door they’d ventured to and stepped aside. “I’ll wait out here. Jackson and Chloe might be a while.”

It felt like fire branded Rachel’s face. She didn’t dare look at Shane as she entered the room, realizing he’d been able to smell her lust. Declan ushered her in and followed, closing the door behind them.

“Doesn’t it embarrass you?” she asked, mortified.

Declan seemed unfazed, guiding her to a chair behind the desk. “What?”

“Me!” she snapped, trying to shake him off. “They know how I feel. They can smell it!”

“Good,” he countered and surprised her when he didn’t put her in the chair but reached for her jeans. He popped the top button open and lowered her zipper. “I want them to know how much you want me. It makes me hard as hell.”

“What are you doing?” Attempting to slap him off didn’t work. He ignored her, sliding his hand beneath her panties. A tremor shot through her, the desire she’d kept tapped rising up. “Declan…”

“I’m going to make you feel good.” He pressed two fingers into her slick pussy, sending her on her toes. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed. What you’re feeling is natural. It’s like this between newly mated pairs.”

“But…” She couldn’t think clearly, wondered why she should argue. Then she pictured the faces of the pack—strange men and women. “They know,” she repeated but ground her mound against his palm.

“You wanted me to be yours, didn’t you? This is a part of what you asked for.” His mouth came to hers, so close they nearly touched. Their eyes met. His irises had turned amber. “You don’t know it yet but soon you will. When your sense of smell kicks in you’ll realize I’ve been harder than a rock all night. I’ve had a tent in my pants and everyone could see it. They’ve been too busy laughing at me to notice you. I’ve never been this way with anyone, Rachel. They think it’s funny as hell. But not because of you. They think I’m the luckiest fucker alive.” His breath mingled with hers, his heat so close she could taste it. “And they’re right.”

“I want you.” Why not? Anyone who entered the room would know what had gone down—even if he only pleasured her with his hand—due to the scents. She might as well enjoy the moment thoroughly. “Please.”

“Fuck,” he growled, pulling his fingers away. “You drive me mad.”

As soon as she had room she toed her shoes off and worked her jeans down her thighs. Declan didn’t give his own clothing as much thought. As soon as his jeans dropped to his knees he put her on top of the chilly wood desk. He moved between her legs and she parted her thighs, leaning back, resting her hands behind her.

“The things you do to me,” he groaned, easing the head of his cock into her. He was engorged, heavy and wide. Even though she’d taken him before she had to force herself to relax, remembering how good he felt moving inside her. “I wasn’t lying. You own me. Heart and soul. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

He parted her, diving deep. She threw her head back, accepting the invasion.

Feels so good.

“There you go, there you are,” he whispered and rested his fingers over her clit. This time his touch was too light, a gentle tease. “Give me that sweet pussy. Burn me up. Bring me over with you.”

It wasn’t easy to move but she did her best.

She used her arms for leverage, meeting his thrusts. His cock glided in and out of her, rubbing sensitive places. She’d been so keyed up it wasn’t going to take much. She wanted this. So did the animal she’d finally started accepting—a wolf that had as much adoration for Declan as she did. He plunged, moving perfectly, his fingers giving her clitoris the friction it needed.

“Declan.” Targeting his mouth, she lifted herself and tried to bring her lips to his. “Kiss me.”

He met her halfway, driving into her body as their mouths touched.

Their tongues darted to each other’s, dancing and swirling. It was too much yet not enough. All she needed was to hit that sweet spot in her center, the one that made her see stars. A simple swivel of her hips and she was right where she wanted to be.

“Yes, oh yes.”

“Give it to me,” he moaned. “Work my cock. Come for me.”

She knew he muffled her cry to ease her embarrassment, taking it into his mouth. She came like a firecracker, barely able to remain upright as her body thrashed. Her arms ached, her pussy sore. Yet she reveled in it, wanting more. Anything he wanted to give her she’d be eager to take. With him she felt centered, finally finding even ground. As the sensations swept through her, she let them.

This was bliss. A bit of heaven on earth.

“So tight.” He quickened his movement, spearing almost violently into her. “So hot.”

She gyrated against him, wanting him to come too. Lifting from the desk, she wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling his neck. “Come with me. I want to feel it.”

He groaned and his cock spasmed inside her. “Fuck yes.”

She held him as he came, basking in the wonderful fragrance that drifted to her nose. No, she hadn’t known he was as hungry for her as she’d been for him. But now she did. She could see it in his gaze, feel it in the way he caressed her. He kept pumping his hips, her crease becoming wet from their union. She welcomed the feeling, wanting it to go on and on.

When he stopped, she managed to pull away.

His hair had been mussed, the shadow lining his cheeks and jaw sexy as hell.

“You’re beautiful too.” Never one for sentiments, she couldn’t hold back. “I love looking at you.”

His gaze softened, no longer so intense. “I love everything about you,” he whispered, yanking her to him. His eyes devoured hers, the amber becoming yellow. “Everything, Rachel.”

“I hope so.” Bringing a hand from his shoulder, she breezed the pads of her fingers over his face. “Because you might be stuck with me.”

He stopped moving, gasping for breath. “What do you mean?”

Despite knowing better, she’d let this happen. She should have warned him. “I’m on birth control but I’ve missed doses.” She put her chin to her chest, avoiding his gaze. “I could get pregnant. I should have been honest about that. I’m sorry.”

“Silly girl,” he chastised her gently but he sounded somber, “it takes two, remember?”

“What if…” God, she couldn’t even say it. How weak was she?

“If you’re worried, don’t be.” He eased from her pussy, cock still hard. A part of her ached, aware of his emotional withdrawal. “I’d know if you could conceive. It’s part of our nature.”

“You’re upset.” He was, she could tell. Why, she didn’t know. “Are you mad at me?”

“Not at all,” he answered and she knew for certain a part of him was. He rested his lips against her forehead. “This is a lot to accept. You’ve got a lot on your mind. We can address children later.”

“You think I wouldn’t want them.” Of course he’d think that. He didn’t understand. And why should he? He barely knew her. Aside from the strange connection they shared they hadn’t had a chance to really understand each other. “You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” He stuffed his cock into his pants, keeping his tone mellow.

“I’ve always wanted children, I just—” She just what? Was too afraid to put too much stock in the father they could lose? She’d sworn she’d never put a baby in the position she’d been in, losing both parents after one had died. “I’m afraid.” Nothing had ever been harder to confess. “I’m so afraid, Declan. It’s so hard to be alone. I don’t want that for any child. I don’t want that for my children.”

“Rachel.” His hands swept into her hair, forcing her head back. He didn’t look nice now, the pure intensity in his gaze almost more than she could bear. “I’d never abandon our children. No matter what happened. It’s true mates follow their partners into the afterlife, but it’s easier to resist when babes are concerned.”

“It’s so much to take,” she whispered, feeling strangely hollow. Now that her lust had been spent, her emotions were all over the place. “I’m so confused.”

“Damn it.” He quickly adjusted his jeans, got dressed and started to work on her. “It’s okay. I’m not mad at you. Not at all. I’m so proud. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. One day I’ll tell you that and you’ll believe me when I say it.”

She let him dress her, trying to not to cry.

The wolf roared in her head, trying to get her attention. Forcing the animal aside, she caved in on herself. All the thoughts she’d ever had—all the doubts—nagged at her. She couldn’t drown them out, even when she tried to. She wouldn’t survive Declan’s loss, meaning she was just as much a danger to any children she might have.

What if she turned out like her mother?

What if she bestowed the same fate on her child?

“Rachel.” There was an order in Declan’s voice, one she couldn’t push aside. She muddled through the fog, latching on to his voice. “I don’t want to rush you but Chloe is coming. She needs you right now. I know you’ve endured a lot but it’s time to pull yourself together.”

Chloe.

The wolf used the leverage, dragging her from the abyss. The animal clawed at her insides, sliding easily into her mind. Strength returned, filling her with energy. She could use Declan to guide her, relying on his presence. He cradled her when she rested against him, holding her close.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, loathing her weaknesses. “I want to be what you need.”

“You are, sweetheart. You’re stronger than you think.” His arms cradled her, keeping her safe as he brought her to the chair. She didn’t want to let him go but managed to disentangle her arms. He bent at the waist and gave her a chaste kiss. “Hold on for a little while longer. That’s all I ask. Once everything is settled with the pack we can relax. I need you, Rachel. Now more than ever.”

“I’m here.”

She centered her mind, relying on the negative emotions from her youth. While toxic they were also powerful. In that moment she made a vital choice. Although she’d welcomed the wolf she hadn’t truly made her an equal. Doing so frightened her. But fear wouldn’t help anyone, not now. If she wanted to do this, she had to really do this. That meant accepting everything.

Including the animal who kept begging for a slice of her control.

She opened her mind, no longer restraining the wolf. It responded, rushing to the surface. She jerked when it met the barrier of her skin. Her mind opened, knowledge pouring through her. In a split second she recognized the scent of Declan’s seed, was able to scent the sex in the room. Her hearing changed, allowing her to hear Jackson and Chloe as they walked down the hall.

The wolf settled within her, showing her what she needed to see.

She wondered if Declan could sense it.

When he stood behind her, placing one hand around her neck, leaving the marked side bare, she had her answer. He understood. As much as he could, anyway. She steeled herself, waiting for Chloe and Jackson’s arrival. She’d never failed her best friend. Chloe was the only family she had left. She would show her pack the same courtesy, making sure she proved she was worthy of being Declan’s mate.

The door opened and Chloe stepped inside. Her friend’s nostrils flared, her eyes going from green to peridot. Rachel met her gaze and didn’t back down. It wasn’t the time for judgment or shyness. Each of them had wolves beneath their skin. Declan said it was normal, so she was going to believe him.

Chloe—to her credit—seemed to shake the scent aside.

Jackson appeared, then Shane. As the door closed behind them Rachel recalled the way Declan had looked at her. In his eyes she felt wanted—cherished. Funny that she’d fought it for so long yet now she wanted it more than anything. His fingers dug into her skin and she reacted, lifting her hand. She placed her palm over the backs of his knuckles.

“I’ve spoken to Chloe,” Jackson said, studying the two of them. He put his arm around Chloe’s waist, keeping her near. “She’s agreed to take on the responsibility of a larger pack but I’m going to need support.”

Declan’s fingers tightened, his grip nearly too much. Instead of shrugging him off she stroked the back of his hand. He needed to be calm. In order for that to happen she had to prove she was equal to the task, ready to meet everything he had to head-on. She’d do whatever he wanted. Once he made a choice she’d make sure to back him up.

“Ask my mate,” Declan said, shocking the hell out of her. “It’s her choice.”

“Rachel, I know you need Declan but the pack needs him too. All of us do. We’re weaker without him. What do you say?” Jackson asked, gauging her response. She had to give him credit for not using Chloe as leverage. “Will you stand with us? Are you in or are you out?”

No one spoke, the weight in the room increasing. She drew a steadying breath.

No more whining.

No more hiding.

She had nothing to be ashamed of. Not anymore.

“We’re family,” she answered, her attention landing on Chloe. She gave her friend a smile and warmth spread over her. Maybe it was fucked up but this was where she was meant to be. “I’m in.”