Cherry Girl

8

That month with Elaina was the happiest time I could ever remember. I don’t have many memories where I was truly happy. I lived for the day and got along the best I could. It’s always been my way. But the time with her trumped everything else I’d known up to that point.

I’d known longing. Hell, I’d been longing for Elaina since forever so it didn’t feel any different. I just had to wait on her for a time, and then…I got to be the luckiest man in the world when everything came together for us. I finally got my chance to tell her what she meant to me.

I had my girl now and she loved me too. We were together and we had forever to stay that way.

There were many things to learn about each other, despite the comfort of being with a person you’d known for ages, and yet, there were still mysteries. I could spend my life discovering her and never grow tired of the journey. This I knew.

The first person we told about us was Elaina’s mum. Well, finally the two of you have sorted out what the rest of us have known from the very beginning. That was the first thing out of her mouth, along with a shriek and hugs all around.

It was a wonderful thing having a family that wanted you.

Her brother, Ian, was next on the list to share our news. He was happy for us and showed a similar reaction as Elaina’s mum but with a bit of You shagging my little sister, now, mate? thrown in with a challenge. I assured him as best I could, but…yeah, better if we two didn’t discuss that part.

Well, I wasn’t technically, but that would be changing. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, and the shagging would definitely be happening sooner rather than later, at that point.

The problem was, I didn’t have a long time before my leave was up and I went back on another tour. There was a great deal of ground to cover in those few short weeks, and I wanted everything to be perfect when we were together for the first time.

I took Elaina for the weekend to the Somerset coast at Kilve. A fellow officer I’d met in the SAS had a sister who ran a bed and breakfast there. He’d mentioned the place to me on more than one occasion. Thankfully, when I gave Hannah Greymont of Hallborough Park a call, I was able to secure a booking. I was as sure of my plans away, as I was of my destiny…

“How did you find this place?” she asked in awe as we came up the gravel drive.

“One of my mates, a fellow officer in the SF told me about it. Blackstone’s his name. His sister owns the house with her husband. Pretty amazing isn’t it?” And it was. The Gothic stone house in front of us was a country mansion that rivaled anything you’d see on the BBC.

“It’s beautiful, Neil,” she said quietly, “a perfect place to bring us.”

She looked so gorgeous next to me, all graceful and fine in her blue dress and long sexy legs curved in the seat of my car. I had picked up on some vibes, though. My girl was feeling a bit shy and I had a pretty good idea why. I’d take care of that little problem just as soon as I got her alone in our suite, though. Very slowly and with great care. Down, lad! I really had to focus on the ultimate goal of this trip and what my purpose was. And it wasn’t just to get her into bed, taking our relationship to the next level, although I’m sure it looked that way. It was bloody difficult to focus when she looked like she did.

“You’re beautiful,” I told her, “and I love you for agreeing to let me sweep you away for the weekend.”

“Just for agreeing to come here with you?” She gave me a look.

Stupid idiot moron dickhead. “No, not just because of that. I love you all the time.” I reached for her and pulled her against me, searching her face for clues. “Second thoughts?”

She shook her head, blue eyes bright and whispered, “Never.” Elaina brought her hand up to my face and held it there. “I’d go anywhere you asked me to. I love you, remember?”

“I won’t forget you told me that.” And I wouldn’t. Those words were precious words to me.

“Good. You’d better not forget.”

I adjusted her against me and kissed her good and slow, until she was pliable in my arms, and I was thinking about beds and getting her naked, and a shit ton more inappropriate ideas for the moment.

“So, I have a plan here,” I confessed against her ear.

“Hmmm, thought so,” she purred. “What is this plan you have?”

I pulled back so she could see me. “My plan is to get us settled into our room first.” I tilted my head at her raised brow; sure she was thinking my motives were in the gutter. Well, they mostly were, but she didn’t need to know that, and I hide it well. “And then…how ’bout I take my gorgeous girl to dinner where I can sit across the table from her and drown in her exquisite beauty? What do you say?”

She laughed at me. “Okay, I say yes to that.”

“Are you laughing at me, Miss Morrison?”

“I believe I am, Captain McManus.” She nodded through more giggling, and then pressed a sweet kiss to my lips. “You have a touch of poet in you, I fear. Better you don’t let your troops know it.”

“And I thought my little speech was well done," I protested.

"Aww, you can talk like a poet to me any time you want to, babe." She blew me a smiling kiss.

I shook my head as we made our way inside to registration. I had Elaina happy and glowing on my arm, yes, but thinking about how I had to leave her in a few short weeks—I had no idea on God’s green earth how I was ever going to manage to do it.

Blackstone’s sister, who told us to call her Hannah, put us in a lovely corner suite done in blue that overlooked the sea from its windows. The view of coastline and lavender fields was superb, but seriously underappreciated by my filthy mind. Yeah, the only view I cared about was one of Elaina in front of it. Naked. That was the view I wanted to gaze upon. The only one that mattered very much.

As I stared through the glass, I realized I had it bad.

Elaina was rustling around in the bathroom setting out her things while I pondered the anticipation of what was finally going to be a reality after so long a time of wanting her.

But, I wasn’t without some reserve over what we were about to do here in this beautiful stately house along the scenic Somerset coast. Elaina was an adult, but she was also considerably younger than me. Sometimes I felt guilty for wanting her when I probably should have picked a woman closer to my own age, but I’d learned a long time ago, that you don’t get to choose who you fall in love with. They chose you.

For me that person was a beautiful girl with cherry-coloured hair and dark blue eyes, and she alone held the sole key to my heart.

Just those few thoughts about her woke up my cock to the point where some discreet rearranging was required. Well then, we might really need the whole box of condoms I’d packed for us in my bag—

“Oh babe, you should see the view in here,” she called to me from the bathroom, interrupting my shag logistics for the time being. Thank bloody Christ. As I went to her I chastised myself for the trepidation I felt the need to hide, trying to get past the idea of what I’d be doing with her, and to her, as much as I possibly could in the limited time we had left.

Facts were facts. Elaina wanted me as much as I wanted her. Nobody here was underage, nor an innocent either. That fact bothered me and then it relieved me, too. I wasn’t the first man to be inside her but then I didn’t have to worry about deflowering a virgin either—something I’d never done, and had no desire to experience. No, I had my girl now, and she was all I wanted.

Elaina was an adult woman. We had the blessing of her family who knew she’d stayed at my place overnight a few times already. They had to suspect. So, why was I feeling like a horny teenager about to sneak a shag?

“Are you coming, babe?” she called out to me again.

Oh yeah, darlin’, I will be and so will you.

I stepped into the bathroom to find her plastered against a similar window with basically the same view I’d just been staring at, but Elaina’s was over a giant bathtub I hoped we got to enjoy together at some point.

Stepping up from behind, I wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin on the top of her head. “Beautiful,” I said, inhaling the scent of her that had become my addiction.

“I know, it really is,” she said, bringing her hands up to tuck over where my arms intersected. I loved whenever Elaina touched me. And I soaked up every single touch she offered no matter how small or how fleeting. The unique feel of her hands reaching out to touch me meant something. Knowing she gave to me so freely also meant something, and I would cherish the memories of our time together when we were separated. It would get me through the rough patches. I hoped. I got a flash feeling of panic at the thought of leaving her behind in England once my R & R was up. Don’t think about it.

I turned her around and took her face in my hands. I held her to me, searching her questioning eyes and tracing over her beautiful features, memorizing every small detail of what made Elaina the most beautiful woman in the world to me.

“I wasn’t talking about the view,” I told her, before I took her mouth with mine.

I kissed her for a long time in front of that picture window. I cherished my girl until I was good and satisfied. Until I’d tasted her enough to let her go so I could make good on my promise to stare at her over dinner.

We were definitely a little late.

Elaina’s blush at the server when he came to seat us, and the looks of the other guests, probably guessing the reason behind our tardiness to dinner, caused all kinds of protective urges in me. One look at Elaina, and anyone could see from her flushed complexion and puffy lips from all the kissing, to get a pretty good idea about what we’d been up to.

I slid my hand possessively down to the small of her back and led her to her chair, seating her first, the way my gran had taught me. I wanted all those people to know she was mine. If I could’ve managed it without everyone believing I was a complete nutter, I would’ve made an announcement too. This beautiful girl is mine, people, and she loves me.

I figured either way, I came out winning, nutter or no. I still got to stare across the table at her over dinner.

9

“What do you like best about being a captain in the Special Forces? You don’t talk much about it.”

“We’re not supposed to talk about it, darlin’.”

Her face fell and her lips made an adorable pout that made me want to do things to them that required a locking door.

“Well, what can you tell me? I need to know something about what you do over there in Afghanistan.”

I shrugged over my plate of perfectly cooked venison and gave her the most honest answer I could. “It’s just work that’s been a good opportunity for someone like me I suppose. Hard work and very dreadful at times. Lonely. Harsh. Dry. Fucked up.” I looked up from my dinner into her caring eyes, and for the first time ever, wished I wasn’t a soldier.

“Sounds wonderful,” she said sarcastically. “How much do I need to worry about you coming back to me safely, Neil?”

I covered her hand with mine. “I’m coming back in ten months and when I do it’ll be for good. That’ll make a six-year haul for me, and it’s plenty, believe me. I want to do something else with my life, and I promise this is my last tour, Elaina.”

“Thank God.” Her voice was relieved but the concern still showed in her face.

“It feels nice to have you worrying about me, though.”

“I’ve always worried about you, I just wasn’t privy to what was going on before. Now, it’s different. Now, I’m bloody terrified that something bad will take you from me, that I’ll lose you—that we’ll never have our…time together.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not accepting that. I’m going over there and I’ll do my job, and when my time’s up I’m coming home to you. That’s a promise I’m going to keep.” I picked up her hand and held it against my mouth. “I love this hand so much.”

Her eyes grew watery when I said the last part.

“I love the man holding my hand. So much,” she whispered with teary eyes, “and I want him to come back to me in one piece.”

I knew it was time. Time for us to be close and put away all the doubts we’d both carried around for far too long. Time for us to learn what we had to lose by not being together, and making us both see how we couldn’t live without it for another second.

“Look into my eyes when I tell you that I’m coming back. I will. I’ll be gettin’ off a plane and scanning the crowd for my Cherry Girl to come running up to me, where I can pick her up and hold her very close, and know we’ll never have to be separated again.”

She nodded imperceptibly, her eyes still glassy and beautifully blue in the candlelight across from me. “Promise?”

“With everything I’ve got in me.”

I saw her visibly soften in her seat, the tension lessening some, and wished we were alone and not in a room with others. It’s time to take her upstairs and love her completely.

I whispered so only she could hear. “I need to be with you now, and we can make all these worries and fears about all the bad things that frighten us, just disappear,” I spoke with my lips up against her hand and my eyes on hers. “We can make it all go away for tonight.”

“Yes, please.” A single tear slipped down her smooth cheek as she nodded her agreement at me from across the table.

I got my answer and it was all I needed.

We held hands all the way up to the room, passing by museum-worthy portraits, which were at least eight feet tall, mounted on the stairwell, and artwork of amazing forms and variety. I couldn’t really take in what was around me though. I only cared about the girl beside me.

Once the stairs were behind us, I swooped her up and carried her the rest of the way. I wanted her weight in my arms. I wanted to carry her to the place where we would be together.

“You’re going to hurt your back by hefting me around.”

“Not a chance of that happening, beautiful girl. You’re a feather. My arms love the feel of carrying you, so I think you’d better get used to it.”

My Cherry blushed for me, looking shy and mouth-watering just by being her sweet self. “Put your arms around my neck,” I said.

She complied with my request, her small hands sliding up around me to hold on firmly. It felt like heaven. I dropped a kiss on her while holding her up, somehow managing to get the door open and thankful for old fashioned doorknobs that weren’t locked from the outside. I didn’t want to let go of her mouth as I fumbled with doors and locks to get us situated inside, and finally into some privacy. I needed the connection. I felt a growing desperation to complete us, like, if I waited another day it would be too late to claim her as mine, that somehow she would be lost to me.

I reluctantly set her down on her feet, steadying her until she found her legs. She looked up at me with hooded eyes, and kicked off her shoes.

I pushed mine off as well.

She bit down on one side of her lip in a way that made me so hard, I let out a groan. “You’re so damn sexy when you do that.”

She didn’t respond except to start unbuttoning my shirt. Those perfect white teeth of hers biting down on her pink bottom lip, just about had me losing my business before we got started.

“I love sky blue. It’s my favorite colour, you know.” She finished the buttons and pushed my shirt off my shoulders the rest of the way. “It looks good on you, too.”

“I love the way you take my shirts off me, and I’ll be sure to wear this colour for you again.”

“Your turn,” she said, presenting her back to me.

I reached for the zipper on the back of her dress and took it down, sliding the silky straps off her arms. With nothing to hold it up, it dropped down to the floor the second I let go. She turned back around to face me in nothing but her knickers and bra. Sky-blue lace. Matching set.

Gods help me.

My eyes were still admiring, when I felt Elaina’s hands on my belt, and then the tug on the zip of my trousers. I kicked those bastards off so fast, that they flew across the room, the belt crashing into a table leg with a clank. Not much separating us then, just a few bits of cloth, and maybe a little temperance of being careful to do our first night right. The noise of my belt crashing notched up the passion a bit, and sort of gave the green light for everything we were about to do.

Worked just fine for me. I was desperate. I could go slow later and take my time making love to her all night. Oh, I would no doubt, but now…now I just needed to be as close as it was possible to be with her. I needed to feel Elaina naked—skin on skin with me, and that was pretty much it.

The two scraps of pale blue lace were all that she had on and even that was too damn much. I wanted my fantasy vision from earlier. My Cherry Girl completely naked in front of the window.

My mouth found its way to her skin, anything I could reach—her neck, her throat, her shoulder, her ear, her mouth—as long as I was touching her, kissing her, all was fine.

Getting her bra unhooked was a challenge because my bloody fingers didn’t want to cooperate, and I wasn’t willing to destroy such a pretty garment, but if it came down to a battle between that lacy bra and me, then hell if I was going to be the loser. I tugged again, still with little success, when she stilled my hand and took a step backward. “Let me.”

I watched as she reached her hands around behind her back, and worked some magnificent magic. The damn thing came unhooked.

Elaina stood and paused a moment before sliding down one strap off her shoulder and down her arm.

I swallowed.

Then she took down the strap on the other shoulder.

My heart skipped a beat or two.

Sky blue lace fell with a metallic click of the clasp hitting the wooden floor.

Oh fuckin’ hell, she’s more lovely than I ever imagined she could be.

Elaina was beautifully made no doubt, but then this was not news to me, either. I’d always known she’d be perfect. I guess what blew me away was just how amazing a thing it was for her to trust me enough, to offer herself to me, to want me. That and the fact I was the lucky bastard getting the offer, and the chance to see her like this.

“You take my breath away, beautiful girl.” I stepped forward and palmed the weight of one perfectly sized breast. She arched back with a soft cry when I touched her nipple with my fingers and tugged gently to make it pucker up.

“So do you,” she whispered.

I dipped my head down to the other nipple and did the same to it with my tongue instead of my fingers. I got drunk on the taste and feel of her gorgeous tits in my mouth and hands.

I was greedy with her, alternating between the two until I couldn’t wait to see my vision of her standing before the window another second.

No, I hadn’t forgotten. My desperate fuckin’ wish was going to happen or I’d die trying.

I dragged my mouth off one breast with a suctioned pull, her hands still buried in my hair, the angled arch of her body positioned to give me access, the sexy protest rolling out of her throat as I released her, all signals showing me she wanted this just as much as I did.

“Don’t stop,” she begged, tightening her grip to keep me close.

“I want to have you naked in front of the window,” I blurted.

She stilled, loosening her hold, letting her hands fall down to my shoulders. Her beautiful blue eyes locked onto mine and I knew she was going to do it.

Slowly dragging those magic hands of hers over my shoulders, she raked them across my chest, tracing around each of my nipples with a finger before pulling away from me completely.

The cock-and-balls party in full force down below was now in violation of disturbing the peace, but I couldn’t do a thing about it.

Elaina’s hands came to rest on the only garment still covering her body. Those pale blue skimpy lace knickers. Just fuckin’ kill me already before I die an inhumane death.

She slipped her thumbs beneath lace at each hip.

That inhumane death I was worried about was going to happen regardless of my fears, and the meaning behind the expression ‘exquisite torture’ made absolute perfect fuckin’ sense to me too.

Just some simple life truths about Neil Emmett McManus. Accepted and understood.

My cock was agonizingly hard in my shorts, as time slowed down to imperceptible increments of forward movement. I’d waited so long for this, and wanted her so desperately, it was all I could manage to hold myself back—to control the urge to pull her beneath me and bury myself inside her—until the raging ache to claim her got some relief. I wanted to. I needed to.

I’d passed the point of no return with Elaina, and realized the signs clearly. No more waiting or enduring the agony of seeing her with other men, knowing they were getting something that was meant to belong only to me. I simply had to be connected to her, in both body and spirit, in order to soothe the savage craving tormenting me from the inside out for so long.

I forced myself to breathe deeply, watching as my beautiful girl slipped the lacy blue knickers over her hips, down those toned gorgeous legs of hers, gave a sexy little kick with a pointed foot, first with one leg and then the other, until the scrap landed silently somewhere in the room.

Fuck me into next week. I think I did die a bit watching her sexy strip show, my pathetic brain on such extreme sensual overload, there wasn’t much more I could do except expire while I took in the sight of the perfect beauty before me. My Cherry Girl.

My eyes still worked, even if my mind had gone to Elaina Land and was stumbling around gleefully with no clear direction other than, I have you naked in front of the window right now, and I’ll be inside you even sooner. She’d given me the most beautiful gift.

Her hair was luxuriously dark and silky, falling to midway down her back. I wanted to take it in handfuls to bind her against me while we fucked, using the length of it for leverage. I had so many ideas about what we could do, but right now I could only breathe and stare.

I’d had a healthy obsession with her hair for years—this I knew. Hell, it was the basis for the nickname I’d bestowed on her when she was young, and right then , was serving as her only covering. The mahogany red waves flowing down her shoulders and trailing over one breast but leaving the other bare, made my fantasy vision, utterly complete in every way.

Wordless. There weren’t any I could have used to describe her at that point. Useless to even try. She was beautiful, and naked, and wanting me to make love to her for the first time. Nothing else existed.

I prayed I would never forget how she looked to me in this moment, and I made a vow not to allow it to happen.

My body screamed with the need to kiss every beautiful part of her but that would take hours to do properly and I couldn’t wait hours. Hell, I couldn’t even wait seconds. That train had blown through town already with no waiting, no stopping, and no changing.

But, Elaina didn’t seem like she wanted things to be any different.

Christ, she’s so perfect…

I’m not sure how exactly, but I maneuvered us to the bed with Elaina laid out like a goddess upon it, my window fantasy but a distant memory, as I sat back on my knees and tried to decide where to go first. She had a body that took my breath away, and I planned on touching every bit of it, the need to know how she felt under my hands and mouth as necessary as breathing.

“What is it?” she asked.

“You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous I hardly know where to begin.”

“Kiss me.” She arched her whole body, offering herself up in the most beautiful way I lost the ability for coherent speech. The point was moot anyway as my mouth got busy in ways other than talking.

I slid my hands over her slowly, beginning at her throat and moving down, learning her soft curves, feeling her reaction to my hands on her, listening to the sounds she made because of what I did with them.

When my mouth found its way to her breasts again, I slowed the pace, devoting some time to getting to know them intimately. I took the whole tip of one into my mouth and sucked, rolling the nipple with my tongue and grazing with my teeth. She cried out softly, arching toward me even more. Her beautiful tits were very sensitive apparently, and this was precisely the kind of knowledge I desired to know about my girl.

I focused my attentions onto her other breast, holding its soft weight in my hand while suckling with my mouth, nipping the hard-budded nipple gently with my teeth. I got some beautiful sounds out of her for that effort, and I made a mental note of it for the future. Sexy sounds of submission and the acceptance of my touch, allowing me to take what she was willingly giving to me.

I sucked and licked and worked my way around both of her breasts. I put so many love bites on her, that I couldn’t count how many when I finally stopped and looked over my handiwork. Just claiming what was mine.

And, I wasn’t a bit sorry about marring the perfectness of her skin either. The marks I’d made with my mouth were symbols of what she meant to me, a tangible display of what we’d shared, and for our eyes only, to remember what we’d done on our first time together.

I needed so much more than that from her though.

My hand moved lower to skim over her flat belly. I heard the soft intake of breath, and felt a jerk when I covered her lips with mine at the same time my hand delved between her legs. My fingers touched perfection—felt how soft she was there, how wet, how ready for me.

“Ohhh, Neil,” she moaned under my lips, “I want—I need—I—please—”

She sounded blissfully frustrated and I loved it because I was the one causing her to be that way. And, I held the power to fix it for her too. Bloody perfect position for me to be in as well.

“I know, beautiful,” I interrupted, “but you’re gonna come for me first.”

I plied her folds with a finger, circling the slippery nub of her clit until she was writhing underneath me, crying out my name again and again, spilling tears onto the bed sheets in passionate submission as she arched up and convulsed. I watched her come apart, lost in her response both physically and emotionally, thinking that I could watch her orgasm over and over and it would never be enough, I’d still want to give her more pleasure. Elaina owned me completely and it was so good belonging to someone. So fuckin’ good. I belonged to her as much as she belonged to me. Even more, really.

“I want you n-n-now,” she panted on a whisper.

I knew what she was asking of me, and I was so ready to give her what she wanted that I wasted no time in reaching for the pack of condoms resting on the bedside table and slid off my shorts.

Elaina was then the one watching the show.

As her eyes settled on my rock hard cock, I wondered if she was worried about how we’d fit. I’d have to be careful with her this first time because I’d be wrecked if I ever hurt her when we fucked. Not her. Not my Elaina. I felt a rise of panic and realized I was close to losing it—the utter mindfuck I was experiencing over the real fucking we were about to do.

Pull yourself together.

She saw me put the condom packet between my teeth to open it.

“You don’t really need that,” she said, with a shake of her head.

“Yes, I do,” I said, as I rolled it down the length of my cock. She might say we didn’t need condoms but I knew we did. Elaina meant far too much for me to take a risk on getting her pregnant when I was leaving so soon. What if we made a baby and I got myself blown up and she was left alone. No. Never. Elaina was too young for babies anyway. Later…much later, we would get to that point. Marriage. Children. Yes, but later.

“Neil?” She tugged at my hips with her hands, begging.

“Yes,” I soothed.

I settled above her, moving those long sexy legs of hers wide apart with my hands. I hovered with my lips, wanting my mouth on her pussy, and my tongue dipping inside for a first taste, but realized this wasn’t the moment. We were both far too impatient.

Later I’d be doing it though, I vowed.

Elaina looked so beautiful spread underneath me I knew I’d always remember this first time. The way she was offering herself. How she was willing to let me take the lead. I couldn’t mess this up with her or I’d never forgive myself.

She smiled up at me, glassy eyed and mysterious. I felt movement over my stomach and then the touch of her small hand gripping my cock.

I hissed when she touched me, her lips slightly parted, breasts heaving from the heavy breathing, the anticipation…and felt her guide the head of my cock straight up against her quim.

Fuckin’ hell, I was so lost.

We both jerked from the contact, that very first scorching hot intimate touch between us. But nearly inconsequential because we were about to make that burn go even hotter—there would be explosions.

“I love you and want to be with you so badly,” she said in a whisper.

Amazing. Elaina accepted my love for her. That fact alone was enough to bring me to my knees, but even greater was the knowledge that this beautiful girl wanted to be with me.

“I love you, Cherry.” My answer came with a deep push of my cock inside her very wet heat where she accepted the whole hard length, arching her hips up to meet my thrust. Perfect fit. Everything about her was perfect. She moaned as I filled her up, soft and so fuckin’ sexy I lost my mind for a moment as I settled into her.

The grip of her pussy around my cock held me so tight, I worried I’d come far too soon for what I’d intended it to be. I hoped to make love to her all night, as many times as I could manage to get us there.

I brought my face close, framing her in with my hands and captive to my invasion of her body. I couldn’t help it. I only knew this was the way it should be done. Take her and make it so good, she’d never want another man.

But it was good. We were so good.

“Is this all right?” I asked her.

She nodded back. “Love me.”

“I do. I will. Always…”

Eye to eye and nose to nose I kept her looking at me as I began to move.

“You feel so good wrapped around me.”

I thought I might die.

She moaned at me, the sweet sound of her like a cue to get down to it.

Her tight wet quim became my universe for the next minutes as we found our rhythm. I hoped it was the same for her with my cock, because that moment right then…was life affirming and life changing. Making love with Elaina was a beautiful dance, and like nothing I’d ever experienced before with a woman. But then, any other times for me had not been with her… so never with anyone I loved. Comparisons were irrelevant anyway. And, again, pointless.

Waiting… I’d been waiting for it, and when it was happening, I felt more emotions coursing through me than I was used to dealing with. I hardly knew what I was doing besides getting lost inside her. She met me with every thrust, and drew back with every retreat. We were a perfect union of minds and bodies.

Every time I filled her up she made a soft little sound that wound me a little tighter with each stroke. “Oh, fuck, it’s good with you, Cherry.”

“Don’t…s-top,” she begged, throwing her head back onto the pillow.

“I won’t.” I moved faster and deeper and harder, more than happy to oblige my girl’s request. I gripped her hips to steady us, the frenzy growing more abandoned with each second that passed, when I felt her start to convulse and shudder. A low breath came out of her throat as she jerked beneath me, her legs flexing tight around my thighs to keep me buried all the way inside her. She gripped my arms as she rode out her release.

Elaina’s response was like a trigger, sending me off right behind her, my orgasm taking hold violently from somewhere deep, pumping out of me and into her like an explosion. Our eyes held onto each other as we stayed fused, the rush of pleasure still pulsing for both of us as we took in deep breaths of air, living in the moment.

She felt utterly soft, and looked so perfectly beautiful when I pulled out of her, that I couldn’t bear to look away, and had to deal with disposing of the spent condom by feel.

“Stay with me,” she demanded, with a tug on my arm.

As if I’d go anywhere.

“We’re not even close to being done. That was just a warm up,” I told her, before finding her lips and plunging my tongue inside her mouth. I kissed her long and deep, my need to be in her was barely fulfilled despite what had just happened.

She touched my face with her hand and traced down my cheek. “You loved me.” The way in which she said it almost sounded sad to me, as if she was trying to come to grips with the idea of us. Maybe, it frightened her.

“I did.” I pulled her hand on my face to my lips and kissed it. “Nothing could have stopped me from doing it either,” I said.

“Nothing?” she asked innocently.

“Nothing restricted to heaven and earth.”

“You’re sure about that are you?” She reached down and wrapped her hand around my now less than hard cock. My sweet girl liked to have a bit of fun teasing it seemed.

“I think someone needs a little demonstration of exactly how determined I am about loving you.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be able to eventually.” She laughed softly, her hand still gripping around my bare flesh, feeling divine as long as she was touching it.

“In a little while, Cherry, you’ll get some more of that.” I paused, waiting to drop my own teasing comeback on her. “But first…I’m gonna make you scream again.”

“Ahhhh…Neil!” she gasped, when I shifted down the bed in a flash and spread her wide.

Her hips undulated against my hands holding her thighs open, sending my cock to attention despite the thorough workout mere moments before.

I was on a mission. To get to the place at the center of her that held me captivated. “With my mouth,” I said, before descending on her pussy and staring at all the beauty right in front of me. She wasn’t totally bare, but almost, the sexy strip of cherry-coloured hair making me crazed to have my mouth on her. How blessed was I?

Licking at her folds until they parted, I found her clit and circled over and over with my tongue, serving that little sweet spot with some extra special loving attentions. With Elaina at my mercy for the next minutes, I held her pinned open with my palms and feasted on her quim until I was satisfied with my results. She was shouting my name—as promised.

I kept her honest.

It took me a good while to reach that point though, because I was a very greedy bastard when it came to her. Tasting so fine, and so amazingly soft under my tongue—my girl was nothing short of exquisite perfection. I took her over and over again like that…giving my cock some needed breaks for recovery in between all the fucking that happened along the way as well.

Nothing was done in small measures on our first night together. The sex went on for hours.

The best part was hearing the precious I love you’s when I made her come. She did it every time, and I loved her even more for saying it. If that was even in the realm of possibility.

We didn’t take our eyes or our hands off each other. Not the first time, and not any of the other times we made love that night. I was running out of days with my Cherry Girl and I had to take every available second of time I could grab for us.

I begrudged even the moments when I had to close my eyes for sleep, and was only able to do so, because I could feel her against my skin.

And hear her steady breathing in the dark.

And smell the scent of her with every breath of air I took in.

10

I held onto her as night transformed into day—slowly caressing up and down her back while she slept—unwilling to break physical contact, in a pathetic attempt to keep everything status quo and my heart intact. I loved her so much.

But now, I had something precious to lose, and the stark knowledge of that fact terrified me down to my very bones.

So, we had finally found our way to this point together, bodies aligned, key to lock, lover to lover. Everything had felt as I’d always imagined it would feel, but then at the same time, it didn’t, because there was no possible description of what we did together that first night, in a stately mansion perched on the Somerset coast.

It’d been far more than a first shag session between two lovers. Far, far more.

I had waited so long for Elaina; I was nearly out of my rational mind at times, with all restraint just flying out the window in an instant. She’d put up with me throughout the whole night though, and never once stopped me in my raging need to have her. My Cherry really did love me, apparently. I didn’t know how or why but I’d take it for the gift it was.

I opened my eyes at some point to her blue ones watching over me in silence. Her body was draped half on top of mine, leg thrown over, palm on my chest, our faces very close. “Wakey, wakey,” she purred.

Her use of my same words the first time she woke up in bed with me, made me smile. She had a bit of tease in her and I loved that. “Ahh, the best waking I can ever remember actually. Can we do it like this every morning?”

She smiled and blushed, sending me into instant arousal, the need to take her yet again instinctual and primal. I kissed her instead.

She had to be pretty worn out by now. We’d done nothing but shag and sleep with occasional breaks for the bathroom and hydration, all night long.

I pulled back from her mouth, caressing her face and tracing her lips with a finger. “How are you feeling today, beautiful girl?”

“Loved by you,” she answered shyly.

Her simple answer and accompanying blush was enough to get me going and reaching for the box of condoms again.

“I can never do enough of that.” I got myself wrapped, and my mouth sucking on her tits in record time.

Elaina arched and moaned for me, letting me know she wanted what I was doing, so I pulled her on top of me and snaked a hand between her legs. My immediate goal being to make sure she was primed and ready for me.

She was.

My beautiful girl was soaking wet and more than prepared for me to fuck her. Again. Maybe she was really fucking me. Either way, was all good and we were ready to go.

I slipped my hands under her bum and lifted her over my cock. She helped to guide us on target and then dropped herself down, impaling herself hard on me.

“Fuck, yes!” I shouted, wondering if the poor people who lived here had been kept awake during night from all the noise. I know we made plenty.

I was so lost in my girl, my social filter was completely absent, and I didn’t care if we were inconveniencing anybody. Just didn’t care about anything or anyone but us.

She rode me expertly, lifting her hips again and again in a rotating motion that would see me utterly blown in a very short time. As soon as I made sure she was going off, I’d let myself follow. My Cherry came first. This was a rule. She. Came. First.

“Ahh…I’m coming…” she whispered, as she worked me over, her eyes starting to glaze as her whole body became overtaken by shudders.

Thank bloody hell.

I followed her within seconds, never taking my hands off her hips, slamming her down repeatedly onto my cock while I dissolved into her.

“I don’t know what I think is more beautiful, this spread or the view from our suite,” she announced at breakfast.

We’d made our way out of the bed, miraculously, and down to the dining room. After our wake-up orgasms, we’d showered together and even managed to get dressed into clothing fit for public wear. I think it really came down to the need for nutrients. Bodies can’t shag for hours without some refueling to keep them going. The best kind of experiment though. I had no complaints as I sat across the breakfast table and watched her over a cup of tea and a scone. My only distracting thought—the long curl of hair strewn over her left breast, obstructing my view. My mind began playing the let’s remember what Elaina’s tits look like naked game. She had the most spectacular pair that’s for sure.

Yeah, I’m just a lowly bastard male and cannot help myself.

“What’s on your mind, Neil?” She interrupted my inner ramblings.

I looked up to see her smirking and knew I was good and caught.

“Nothing fit for this fancy breakfast room full of guests.”

“I knew it,” she laughed.

“It’s all your fault, my darlin’” I said. “I need to take you somewhere private and then I can show you exactly what was on my mind.” I whispered the rest so nobody could hear. “After I remove some of your clothes.”

“Ahh, I see what you’re on about. You’re trying to trick me back into bed with you and you should know that it’s a lost cause, mister.”

“Really?” I gave her a sad face.

She laughed at me some more but said nothing.

“Well, it’s a nice day today so maybe you fancy an out-of-doors shag.” I winked. “I’m game if you are, babe, I love me a bit country sunshine.”

She shook her head at me and blushed beautifully. Man, did it wreak havoc on my insides. There was something about how Elaina got shy around me, and blushed at the mention of naughty deeds. That rosy flush of her skin that appeared when she thought about all the sexy things we’d done together, was definitely my kryptonite.

The day was perfectly fine and just about everything else was too. Iridescent blue dragonflies flittered over the water, buzzing around us, and even occasionally coming to rest upon the water’s surface. The fresh air mixed with the scent of her hair comforted my senses to the point I could honestly admit I was blissed out. It was a first for me. I’d never known the feeling before.

Elaina lay back on my chest in a little green and white rowboat upon Lake Leticia, a scenic meandering pond situated on the Hallborough estate. I was again reminded of the many BBC miniseries my gran had enjoyed on TV when I was a boy—lovers from times past with nothing better to do than float on a garden lake, stealing kisses in their fine clothes and flattering their dates with fancy words.

I had to say it wasn’t at all bad. I was loving it.

“My mum would love it here,” she said, trailing a hand over the side and into the water. “She’s always been captivated by historic homes and gardens.”

“My gran would have too.” I surprised myself for mentioning her at all. Gran was a topic I kept close and pretty much closed. Elaina was different, of course, I could share with her, but it wasn’t something I sought out to do. Thinking of my gran, I only wished I could have brought her to a place like this for a holiday. She would have loved the gardens and the ocean views, and the stately house very much. I never got the chance to take her anywhere nice or do anything special for—

“You lived with your grandmother before you came to England when you were seventeen?” she asked from the side of the boat, cutting off my retreat into past regrets I couldn’t do anything to change.

“Yeah. In Glasgow.”

“I knew that you were a Scot because Ian used to call you Scotty when you were younger.”

“He changed his mind about it once I grew bigger than him, now didn’t he?”

She laughed. “I remember that too. Ian was so disappointed when you topped him in height.”

“By like an inch, maybe. Your brother can be an idiot sometimes.”

“Very true about Ian. But what happened to your mum?” She asked it softly, as if she were being gentle with me in case her question brought out sad feelings.

I rubbed up and down her arm to reassure her. “She had me when she was very young…just sixteen. My father was a student at the University of Glasgow when he met my mum and impregnated her. He abandoned us when she told him I was on the way. McManus was her family name, not his.”

“So, you lived in Scotland with your mother and your grandmother?” She turned away from the water and asked me directly.

“Right. Her mother, my gran, took care of us, and then me, when Mum died. Yeah…it was pretty awful.” Elaina pulled her hand from the water and leaned back against me again. She was waiting for me to talk about my past and I figured there was no time like the present. Hiding it certainly wouldn’t help anything, and I might as well get on with throwing it all out there with her. I’d want to know if it was the other way ’round.

“When I was ten, my mother and her boyfriend got themselves killed in a car crash driving home drunk from the pub. They ran themselves off the road in a rain storm and into a flooded ditch.”

“Oh, that’s horrible.”

“Mum never really settled down like a typical mother. She had me far too young, and she didn’t really grow up or get over the fact that my father didn’t love her or want anything to do with us. She was only twenty-six when she died. And she had dreadful taste in men, apparently…” I trailed off with my sad story and hoped I didn’t have to talk about it much more. I wanted to enjoy our time here, and not waste it on the uselessness of regret over things I had absolutely no control. Strolls down memory lane didn’t do a bloody thing for me. I had learned to live in the present and for the future. It was the only way.

Elaina rolled over to face me and rested on my chest, looking up. “I didn’t know all that about your family. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For you, for how scary it must have been for you as a little boy losing your mother and then later on, your grandmother. I knew it was bad for you, but I didn’t know the story. I’m so sorry for your losses.”

I shared more with her because she was so gentle and kind with her feelings, and I could tell she wanted to know about me. For the first time, I actually felt like talking a little about my life because I knew I could trust her.

“Gran was lovely…and if we're being completely honest, she's the one who really raised me. My mum was not ready to have a child and although my memories of her are sweet, we weren't ever like a typical mother and son. It was my gran's dying of cancer, when I was seventeen that dealt the worst blow. It devastated me…and there was so little time to settle things before she passed away.”

“You had to leave Scotland, then?” She found my hand and entwined our fingers together, caressing back and forth with her thumb.

“Yeah. And it was clear I'd have to go with my father as soon as Gran's condition was pronounced terminal. There was nobody else to take me.”

She brought my hand to her lips and held it there.

I kept talking. “Everyone was unhappy about it. I didn't want to leave my home, or for my gran to die, or to go live with a father I'd never met, and who didn’t want me any more than I wanted him.”

She gripped my hand tighter.

“He had a wife who really didn’t want me around—messing up their perfect little family life in England, bringing up questions, destroying the façade of respectability they’d earned. They had a three-year-old son already. Sam—their real son.”

"So, you came to live with your father and that's when we met you?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, but I didn’t make it easy for any of us. As soon as I was delivered to my father’s house and got a good feeling for how things were going to be with my new family, I ran away, sneaking off almost immediately, hitching rides all the way back to Scotland. It took a while, but they found me trying to live in the back of my gran’s garage. My dad sent me off directly to school in London after that mess so I didn’t have to live with them, and since our last names were different, nobody connected us as father and son. I was just a kid dumped at school by people who liked to pretend I didn’t exist.”

Elaina was quiet for a bit, just holding my hand to her lips and absorbing everything I’d told her. When she finally spoke, her voice had a detached ring to it as if she were making a confession. “I always hated your family. I never met them but I hated them just the same for how uncaring they were of you.”

God, I loved her. “I always sort of sensed that from you, Cherry. Just made me love you more though.”

She wasn’t done. “But then I probably shouldn’t hate them, because if they hadn’t been so awful we might never have met you. Ian wouldn’t have befriended you and dragged you home to us.” She leaned up to find my lips for a kiss.

I clung to her as if she were a lifeline. “Your family probably saved my life,” I whispered, holding her face close.

"How did we do that?" I could see tears in her eyes and knew it hurt her to hear all this horrible shit. I hoped it was the last time I ever had to speak of it with her. Elaina was only part of the good things that had happened in my life. She was the light to all that darkness. I was relieved to now know how that all the sorry sad rest of my past just didn’t matter to me anymore.

“By wanting me. You always wanted me, Cherry, and I don’t know why you did, but I do know that it was the thing that saved me. You and your family saved me.”

She nodded and let out a sob. “Always did…and always will.” Her hand started moving, rubbing over the place where my heart beat and the blood was pumped, showing me the truth behind her lovely words.

“But, I don’t want you to dwell on it. Please, for me, don’t think about it anymore because it’s over and just doesn’t matter. I survived because of you, and more importantly, I have you now. You’re mine.” I smiled. “That’s all I care about.” I kissed her for a long time.

I held onto my Cherry Girl. I held her up against my heart, in that little rowboat on the idyllic lake, at the splendid English estate that felt like something out of a Dickens’ novel, and knew pretty much what complete happiness felt like for the first time in my adult life.

All the sad shit and the fucked up past was well behind us, where it belonged. I figured we only had good in our future to look forward to together.

No words could do justice to what I’d just shared with Elaina in such a very special place. It was that meaningful to me. I certainly couldn’t find the right words to express what it meant to me to know that she’d always loved me and wanted me…just because she did. No other reason, than that the path of her heart led her to me. A miracle. I couldn’t rationalize it and I wouldn’t even attempt to figure out why things played out the way that they did with us.

I made a decision to just believe in fate right then and there. Done. I wouldn’t question the how’s or the why’s of it anymore, but simply accept the gift of fate I’d been given with my Elaina.

I’d hold the memory of this beautiful time together with her, keeping it safe inside me where I could revisit whenever I needed to so I could make it through the next ten months of being apart.

And that time was coming far, far too soon.

11

The enormous bathtub had a view to rival the best scenic vistas on any travel documentary, but I wasn’t looking or caring about it. No, my attention was elsewhere. And my view was much more spectacular.

Elaina naked was breathtaking. Elaina, naked and wet in the bath with me, even more so. Elaina, naked, wet and sucking on my cock, was probably going to render me blind in the next minute or two. If I wasn’t dead by then.

She worked me over good, drawing the length deep and pulling back with a little twist of her hand on each stroke. I held her long hair back from her face and let her take me to heaven.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck…that’s it—I’m going off!”

I tried to pull away but she wouldn’t let go and the wet warmth of her mouth felt too good against the bare flesh of my cock. I couldn’t stop the force of the spunk that exploded from me, and worried about choking her, but I was too far gone to do much of anything about it. My state of control over myself had come and gone. I’d come hard.

She took it all down her throat while I shuddered and pulsed, feeling like I shouldn’t do that to her, but it felt too fuckin’ good to stop. I was a slave to her love and very happy to my lot in life.

“God, girl, you’re gonna kill me,” I panted through the after rush of my orgasm.

She released me from her lips and grinned like the devil, wiping the corner of her mouth with a finger.

I groaned from the sheer pornographic lust she instilled in me. In a very good way of course, but still… “Yeah, I’m dyin’ for sure.”

“Nope. No killing you off, Captain. No dying allowed, either.” Her hand still gripping ’round my cock, she stroked me slowly, still managing to keep me hard, which was not really an issue ever with her. I wanted Elaina all the time, and she was so generous with me; I just took and took some more. If she wanted me, I was ready to serve which was just another reason to be careful with the extra protection. With all the spunk going off from all the sex, it would just be a matter of time until I knocked her up. I couldn’t let that happen.

“I love you so much it scares me,” I whispered. “Come here, beautiful girl.” I pulled her up my body to lie on my chest, her breasts pressing against me, her cheek just below my shoulder. I trailed fingers through her hair and just held her. How in the hell was I going to survive ten months without her? I really couldn’t bear to think about it at that point.

This was one fact I did understand. Denial worked pretty well for me at times.

“I’ve loved you for so long a time it makes me afraid this is all a dream,” she said. “I’m so afraid of losing all of this with you, Neil.”

“No. You’re not losing me. I’m here right now, and when I’m gone away I’ll still be with you every day inside here,” I said, placing a hand over her heart, “until we’re together again, and I can have my hands on you.”

She snuggled closer and held me a little tighter.

“Do you believe me?” I asked carefully.

I felt her nod into my shoulder but she stayed quiet.

“What’s wrong? Just afraid?”

“Yeah.”

Something was on her mind I could tell.

“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, Cherry, because I need to know.”

She traced her fingertip over one of my nipples, making a shiver roll through me, and sending my cock on the fast track to recovery.

“It’s nothing…I’m just selfish with you. I want you all to myself and I never want to share you with anybody.” She looked up at me. “I want it all. You need to know that I won’t share you, Neil. I can’t do it and I won’t.” Her voice was harder than usual and the meaning behind the tone worried me a little.

“What do you mean? Share me with…other girls?” I shook my head. “There’s nobody but you. Elaina? What is all this about?”

She shook her head again.

I gripped her a little tighter. “Tell me, darlin’, what has you worried about me?”

She swallowed and looked down. “Well, you’re—you are always so careful with us when we have sex. Always so careful about the condoms…and you don’t need to be that way. I’ve told you I’m on the pill and it bothers me that you—that you don’t want to be all the way close with me…like you’re afraid to make the commitment, or—or s-something with me.”

Silence.

I learned a valuable lesson in that moment. Never, ever, ever, assume you know what a woman is thinking in her head. That way leads to utter confusion and disaster. Elaina had read me all sorts of ways of wrong.

“Oh, Cherry, you want to know why I am so careful about wrapping up every time?”

“Yes.” She nodded with a sad look in her beautiful blue eyes.

“It’s not because I’m thinking of who next I might bang, because there’s nobody. I’m only thinking of you.” I kissed the top of her head. “Of how much I love you.” Another kiss. “Of how precious you are, and how determined I am to make our life perfect together.” I lifted her face up. “There’s nobody else I’m committed to, Cherry. Only you. I’m not going to fuck it up by getting you pregnant before I go off to war. That would hurt you. No unplanned babies for us. I won’t do that to you, and I won’t do it to an innocent child. I was one of those babies and I absolutely won’t do it to one of mine. What if something happened to me over there and I couldn’t come home to you? If you were left alone to raise a child without me. You’re too young for all that and it’s irresponsible of me to risk that. I will never risk you, Elaina. I love you too much.”

Her face cupped in my hands, she nodded up at me. “But I would want anything that came from you, from us loving each other. No baby of yours could ever be unwanted by me, Neil. Surely you know that.”

God, she was amazing. “I do now.” I smiled at her. “And some day we will make a few together, and they will be so beautiful with you for a mum.”

“With you for a dad,” she said with a gorgeous smile.

“Feeling better now that we’ve planned out our future together?” I asked.

“Yes.” She shifted in the water and brought her lips down to kiss my chest right over my heart.

The gesture did something to me. Elaina was my switch. Or more so, she was the person who operated my switch. She controlled me, and I was perfectly happy with that arrangement.

As her lips trailed over my chest and even lower for parts desperate to feel her touch again, I was lost. Lost and desperate to find my way back inside her. Driven to claim her body more times than I needed to, but she felt so good, I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.

So, that’s what I did for the rest of the morning…focused on my girl and making her come so many times, she just had to forget about the worries and fears that bothered her. She had me to carry that burden for her. I’d make sure my Cherry Girl never had to worry about anything. I’d always be there for her, loving her and taking care of her.

I fully intended to. My motives were sound, but my naiveté completely shrouded the twisting paths of fate and how it can rear up and take everything away from you in an instant. One should never underestimate what fate has in store for you. It has a way of gaining the upper hand and can hold onto that power for a long, long time.

I was that naive.

“Hold still, this is a great shot of you.” Taking pictures of Elaina was becoming my new favorite pastime. She was a magnificent subject anyway. The particular shot of her, under a flowering tree loaded with pale pink blossoms, was so perfect for her. We thought it was some kind of ornamental cherry tree from how the flowers looked. My Cherry Girl under a cherry tree. Cliché yes, but spectacular all the same and I fully intended to have some prints made that I could frame.

“The blossoms are everywhere. It’s almost like snow.” She spun around with her arms out.

I took photo after photo while she indulged me, so grateful I’d have this beautiful memory of us there together on the last day before we had to head back home.

“So what do you want to do on our last day, beautiful girl?”

She made a face at me and circled around the tree trunk. “Oh, I haven’t told you my news yet.”

I lowered my camera. “What news?”

She peeked around the tree at me. “The news about how I’m not going back to London at all. I’ll be staying here under this cherry tree, and taking boat rides on Lake Leticia every day, and watching the dragonflies flitting over the water.”

I made my way over to her. “Really.”

She moved around to the other side of the tree. “Yes, really. I thought you should be aware of it since you’re going to be living here with me.” Her expression was deadpan.

I started to reach for her but she moved again, switching to the other side of the tree trunk. My sweetheart liked a bit of fun and games at times. “You want me to stay here with you under this cherry tree, Cherry?” I asked slowly, my eyes tracking, picking my opportunity to lunge for her.

She nodded and shifted again to the other side, keeping me at a distance, her eyes tracking me, just as much and I was her. “You have to stay here with me, Neil.”

“I do, eh? Because you love me so much?” I inched closer.

Her expression betrayed her because she couldn’t help the devilish gleam that appeared in her eyes when she shook her head. “No, I need someone to row the boat!”

I sprinted for her and she took off shrieking, both of us laughing when I got my hands on her, and pulled us down into the soft grass.

I trapped her beneath me and tickled first, getting lots of playful groping in between the kisses and general horseplay. She got some good digs in too, and damn if she discovered I was ticklish as hell in the ribs.

“Now, be a good girl and let me kiss you,” I warned, pinning her hands down to the grass so she couldn’t get at me with more tickling.

Her eyes flared and she tilted her head to the side a bit, her hair strewn out around the grass with a few blossoms already fallen down to land all around us.

She got that softness in her expression I adored, and in the way her body melted into mine. She let me soak her up, and kiss her until we were both breathless, and wishing that time would just stop altogether.

We made out cloud shapes from the grassy bank with the cherry tree blossoms still floating down. By that time, we were covered in them, but it was futile to brush them away as more just kept falling. Neither of us seemed to mind and the blooms had just the barest light scent so they weren’t overpowering at all.

“I see a leaping frog at two o’clock just there.” I pointed. “See how his back legs are out and the webbed feet—”

“Oh look, Neil, don’t move!”

I froze. We both stared at my outstretched finger where one of those glowing blue dragonflies had chosen to land. I brought my hand closer very slowly, and miraculously it stayed on my finger.

“It’s so pretty. Just look at the colours of blue,” she said softly, as we both studied the insect. Seemingly unperturbed by our presence, the dragonfly extended its wings and lifted its legs to take a step or two.

“Amazing that the colour is from nature isn’t it?”

“It really is. Like a sky blue crossed with a metallic blue. I love it so much.”

“You said that sky blue is your favorite colour.” I felt the vibration of movement and then the dragonfly was off my finger and flying away.

“Oh, there he goes,” she said, “and yeah, sky blue is my favorite.” If I wasn’t mistaken I’d say there was some sadness to her comment.

“Why do you love the colour of sky blue so much?”

“It’s the colour of the sky when it’s beautiful on a sunny day.”

I nodded and looked back up at the sky, searching for more shapes.

“September 11 was a sunny day,” she said very softly.

I understood my girl so well. She had reasons for most of the things she did, and this was a very good example of that.

“The colour of the sky reminds you of your dad.”

She snuggled into my side. “Yeah. It’s so pretty and soft looking. I like to think of him up there in the clouds of heaven or something. It was the last place I know where he was alive and it was such a beautiful day…” her voice trailed off.

I played with her splayed-out hair as we lay on our backs, content to touch its silkiness, until I heard a soft sound, and felt a small shudder, as she turned and wept in the crook of my neck. Telling me had brought out very painful emotions. I understood how that worked. You were fine holding onto your deepest feelings just fine, but as soon as you shared them with somebody, the flood of hurt came busting out.

“He’s there waiting for you, Cherry. He’s proud of you and happy if you’re happy. There’s no pain or sadness where your dad is.”

“How do you know?” she asked.

“I just do. I have to believe in something and I believe in this. For your dad and my gran—the good people—they are in a better place now. And we can miss them, but I know they would only want us to be happy.”

“I just love you so much,” she told me, her eyes still brimming with tears.

“I love you so much, and I’ll be coming home to you when I’m done with the army and we can start our life together. We’ve got nothing but time.”

“Okay then, I’ll be here waiting for you right here at this cherry tree.” She tried to give me a smile with her little tease but I could see it was still hard for her. The next months would be hard on both of us.

“I know. When I return, we’ll come back up here for our reunion weekend.” I pulled up her chin toward me and met her beautiful, sad face. “What do you say to that idea, darlin’? Back here at Hallborough, you and me, cherry blossoms, row boats and blue dragonflies.”

“Better make it a week, captain. A measly weekend just won’t do for me.”

“Thank the blessed gods for that, because I’m going to need lots and lots of long baths in that tub together before I’m even close to recovered from being separated from you, Cherry Girl.”

I held her close up against me and worried. I couldn’t shake the feeling of gloom that hung in the air and feared I might be losing my mind. I tried to remember that as I left for my tour this time, I was leaving England with the girl I loved waiting for me back home.

Elaina would wait for me. She’d needed the reassurance that I would always be her man, but we’d worked that out. I’d promised her there was nobody else who could take my heart away from her and I meant it with everything I had in me.

I closed my eyes and held her and prayed. I prayed that everything would play out, and fate would be kind, and my beautiful girl would be here for me when I came home.

12

Four weeks later

I woke with the weight of dread pressing on me. I’d be returning to active duty in the morning so the day was our last one together for more than ten long months of separation. The SAS might have me on a plane bound for Afghanistan within a day, but my heart would stay behind in London with Elaina.

The last twenty-four hours had been a marathon of emotional highs and lows and…sex, my need to claim her again and again a compulsion that I couldn’t hold back and couldn’t bear to deny.

“How am I going to say goodbye to you at the station in the morning?” she asked in a soft voice, her hand brushing over my chest back and forth.

“I have no idea on this earth how I’ll walk away from you. I just know that if you don’t help me out by being strong, then the SAS will have an A.W.O.L. situation on their hands.”

“That sounds very bad.” She moved her hand up to my mouth where she traced my lips with her finger.

“Absent Without Leave is very bad.”

“I finally got a letter from the International Placements office yesterday. I’d been waiting on it for a while, and there’s a place for me in Italy. I was setting up to go away as an au pair before you came home on leave. You know about how I’ve been taking Italian and French in school, right? Well, I’ve been taking the courses so I could actually speak to my host family when I got a placement—”

“No. I don’t want you to go.” I moved over her and held her face. “Please promise me you won’t go to Italy.”

“Why, Neil? It’s just a job.” Her eyes searched mine. “And I’ll be busy while you’re away, and that’ll help me pass the time. It’s going to be dreadful here without you.”

I could imagine some Italian count or wealthy playboy sweeping her away just as soon as he got a good look at her. “Ten months, my sweet beautiful girl. That’s all I ask. I’ll be home and we can go wherever you want then, but please wait for me. I—I just can’t bear the idea of you not here waiting for me. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I want you here where I know you’re safe and with your family if something…happens.”

“Nothing is going to happen,” she said firmly. “Everything is going to be perfectly fine, Neil.” Then her blue eyes softened and she smiled at me. “Okay, I won’t go to Italy if it’s so important to you. I’ll find a job somewhere in the city. There must be a corporation that needs French and Italian because of international business.”

“Thank you.” I breathed out in relief before kissing my way down her body, pulling the sheet away with my teeth. The sheet peeled off, revealing her beautiful body in all its bare-skin glory.

“I need a picture of you like this to take with me,” I blurted.

Her eyes widened but then she relaxed, as if she thought about it and decided I wasn’t being a pathetic skeeve, but just a desperate bloke in love who was trying to hold onto her through any means possible.

“All right then,” she said shyly. “You can take pictures of me.”

So, I snapped some naked photos of my beautiful girl and would take them off to war with me. The pictures would help me to remember how sexy beautiful and generous she was, how she smiled and how she spoke, how she smelled like flowers and looked like a Greek goddess, when I was alone at night with only my memories…and my hand.

Elaina had stepped out to the shops to buy our dinner while I packed up my things. She would keep my flat organized for me and also had use of my car while I was away. I loved the idea of her being here in my place even if I wasn’t going to be here with her. It would help me to know we were together even when we weren’t.

The doorbell rang and I wondered who it could possibly be. My goodbyes had been said to anyone who mattered. My father knew I was going and had sent his regards in an email. Typical. We conversed via written text, never on telephone, and rarely in person. He usually commanded my presence to his house if he felt the desire to see me. I didn’t feel welcome in his home, so we were good.

Ian and his mum had already done a big send-off dinner for me, and I’d had the talk with him about Elaina, and how he needed to look out for her in my absence. And most importantly, keep that cocksucker, Tompkins away from her. My mates had been by to wish me off, promising pints in the pub upon my safe return.

I opened my door to find Cora standing on the other side of it and was really glad that Elaina had gone out. Seeing Cora at my flat would not make her happy. Not at all. Elaina really despised Cora and had made her feelings known from the very beginning that she was persona non grata. I got it. Tompkins was the same for me with her.

“What can I do for you, Cora?”

She smirked. “Where’s your baby girlfriend, Neil?”

“None of your business, and her name is Elaina, as you well know.” I wouldn’t even address her other comment with a response. Pointless. “Look, I’m very busy getting ready to take off, so what is it that you want?”

“Only what you owe me, legally.”

I’m sure my eyes popped out of my skull. “What in the hell are you talking about, woman. I don’t owe you anything, legal or not.”

Just at that moment, Elaina came up the stairs laden with shopping bags and smack into our conversation. Cora turned and said, “Oh good, she’s here. You really need to know this too, doll.” Cora fished out a small square paper from her purse and shoved it at me.

I looked at it. Felt my heart get ripped from my chest and then thrown down onto the floor so it could be kicked around like a football. “What the fuckin’ hell is this?!”

“That,” she said with dramatic emphasis, “is our baby, Neil. Eight weeks gone. Isn’t he cute?”

I looked at Elaina standing in the hallway, a shopping bag in each hand, just standing frozen in place, hearing every poisonous word. Her face was white as a sheet.

“No! No, Cora, no fuckin’ way that’s mine! Elaina?” I found her with my eyes and begged, “Cherry, please don’t go away—”

Cora ignored us both and kept right on blabbing. “Oh, but there is a way, darling. Eight weeks ago? Remember? You’d just come home from your long, long, lonely tour and were quite out of your mind as I recall. So long without a woman...you needed a little something to take the edge off?” She snickered. “Quite a few times too. Condom problems…it happens.”

“No…” My gut churned, and the fear boiled over as her devastating words crushed my whole world. I had fucked Cora. More than once. The day I got home I went straight to the pub and started drinking. By the time Cora showed up there, I was pissing drunk and horny enough to shag a troll. And we ended up at her place in a sex marathon that was all about gettin’ off and nothing about feelings. I’d told her before we fucked that we weren’t going to be together afterward. One of the condoms did blow out… Cora had said not to worry… Oh. Fuck. No.

I stared at the image on the black and white photo she’d handed to me.

It couldn’t be mine. Could it? What would this do to Elaina? FUCK!

Cora turned and shrugged in Elaina’s direction while I kept staring at what I held in my hand. “Well, that’s all I wanted to tell you, darling. I know you’re off in the morning and thought you should know that you’re going to be a daddy. So take care of yourself over there. Be safe and all that rubbish, oh, and send me a cheque now and again. I have to pay the bills you know so I can take care of your child, Neil.”

And then, Cora walked out as I stared at the doctor’s scan and felt I might be sick. I didn’t even say anything. I couldn’t. I don’t know how many moments passed. Could have been a few seconds, could have been an hour but when I looked up, Elaina was gone. The only evidence to show she’d really been present to hear Cora’s claim, were the two shopping bags full of our dinner sitting on the floor at the top of the stairs.

The hours that followed were something out of a horror film. I couldn’t find her and I didn’t know where she had gone off to. She wouldn’t answer my calls or take my messages. Elaina’s mum said she’d called to say I’d left a day early and she was going to stay with a school friend. Elaina didn’t say which friend. Ian hadn’t heard from her. Both her mother and brother were mystified as to what was going on and couldn’t help me.

And I was out of time with no good options.

Desperate and terrified, I pulled every trick in the book trying to get an emergency extension of my tour, but was soundly vetoed. My final orders stood. Report to my commanding officer by the prescribed time in the morning or be arrested and tried in military court.

That night was one of the longest, most horrible experiences I can remember. I didn’t sleep for fear she might show up or ring me. She didn’t though.

The next morning I dragged myself to the train station in misery because my time was up. I scanned the platforms for any sign of her, my heart in shreds, terrified of what I’d say to her but desperately wishing for a chance to try to tell her how sorry I was, and how we could figure out what to do. I loved her, and couldn’t lose her, and I’d make things work out—somehow.

My Cherry Girl wasn’t there.

13

One year later

My final tour in the army had been the worst of my career. I saw the most dangerous action. The riskiest maneuvers attempted, the closest I ever came to dying. The most loss of life experienced of troops I knew and commanded. Just a total fuckin’ mess of events and situations all coalescing into a very dark time for me.

Coming out of it, I was a changed man. For many reasons, but the worst part was finally making it back home to London and finding out she really had gone. Elaina did take the au pair position and moved away to Italy to work within a few months of my leaving.

I’d lost my girl. My Cherry Girl was lost to me and I faced the prospect of living a life without her. During my tour, she never contacted me once. Her mum and Ian still did, but kept out of our business and accepted that whatever had happened between us was not up for discussion, ensuring our privacy was respected. It felt like she’d died, she was that lost to me. I think it would have hurt less if she had died.

When I returned to my flat I found a letter from her dated the day I’d left for Afghanistan.

Dear Neil,

This is terribly hard for me to say, but I have to. I release you. You’re free of anything you ever promised to me about us. I understand your situation and accept what you have to do about it. But, in order for me to survive it, I have to let you go. It’s the only way I can manage to get on with my life, and I ask for you to do the same with me. Let me go. Don’t come for me or try to change my mind. This is how it has to be now.

Goodbye, Neil, and please know that I’ll be wishing for you great success in all that you do, and praying for your safe return home wherever and whenever that may be.

Be well,

Elaina

I read and reread her letter a hundred times. There were some water splotches on it and I imagined they could have been from her tears. I couldn’t bear to throw it away but there were many times I nearly did. The dark times when I was so very angry with her for not giving me a chance to tell her anything about what really happened.

No, I didn’t get that from her. I didn’t get the chance to tell her about what I’d been through in the war. I didn’t get the chance to tell her of the new job opportunity I was offered from a fellow officer—who barely made it out of the army still breathing—we were determined to make into a success.

I didn’t get to tell her about the bizarre turn of events that left me the sole inheritor of a Scottish estate belonging to a great uncle I’d never met. There was a house and land involved along with a fair chunk of money, that left me in a very good place financially for the first time in my life. After actually seeing the place, I didn’t get the opportunity to tell her about it, or say how much I knew she’d love the grounds, or the little lake, or the old cherry trees that blossomed on the property, reminding me so much of our trip to Hallborough.

Everything was fucked up and my heart was broken.

And, most importantly, I couldn’t tell Elaina that I was definitely not the father of Cora’s baby. I’d been willing to face up to the responsibility of providing for the child if it was mine of course, but it wasn’t mine and Cora shared that with me as soon as her son was born. Whether she was being a decent human being or because it was instantly apparent I couldn’t have fathered him, I don’t know. The point was moot anyway, my loss too great to repair by then.

Cora had up and married the real father before I’d even returned home from my tour. A big Black bloke named Nigel. This was all confirmed when I saw them in the supermarket one day shortly after I got back. The little baby with all the chocolate skin belonged to somebody else. Cute though. I managed a very hollow-sounding ‘congratulations’ and walked out of there, the bitter taste of injustice and anger fueling me forward.

I still desperately longed for Elaina, but the resentment burning inside me at her leaving without a word, had hardened me. So hard that I closed off my emotions and accepted my fate. I’d known bitter disappointment and grief before and I’d lived through it. I was used to accepting things that hurt me terribly and crushed my heart. This was just another one of those.

I threw myself into work at Blackstone Security International, Ltd. as Vice President and Chief of Operations. The boss’s number one. We offered security services to high-profile clientele, politicians, dignitaries, celebrities and even members of the Royal Family on occasion. I traveled around a great deal, learning the business with Blackstone and working jobs that paid me very well, but left little time for socializing. Didn’t matter. I didn’t want society anyway. Any desire I’d ever had for love was in the hands of one unique person and she didn’t want me anymore.

I reached out to Elaina’s mum and asked about her. She told me Elaina was happy at her job in Italy and that she’d requested I not try to contact her. She just wanted the freedom to live her life and held no ill will toward me for whatever had gone wrong with us, but I wasn’t buying it. Of course she had ill will. She felt betrayed that I’d been with Cora. And then I’d had to abandon her for the better part of a year with a horrible fuckin’ break-up between us. The whole situation was worse than fucked.

I stayed close with Elaina’s mum and Ian, hoping for an opportunity where I might see her again, maybe on one of her visits home or something. That maybe, we’d get a chance to talk about what had happened with us. That maybe, seeing each other again would spark something and we could find our way back to that beautiful place where we’d been so in love.

I even grew desperate enough to track her down in Italy once, when I was there working on a job.

The Italian seaside in summer is a stunning place. The lush beauty seemed fitting somehow as the place where she was now living and working. Elaina deserved to have all that natural beauty surrounding her. That part made perfect sense to me.

I saw her from a distance on the beach in a sky blue bikini and a floppy black hat. Even from far away I recognized her. How could I ever forget? She looked so beautiful, my eyes stung as I soaked her in. Long cherry-coloured hair blew in the wind and whipped down her back. Lovely legs that went on for miles took small steps in the thick sand in order to accommodate the little ones she brought with her.

Elaina had two small charges, both girls that looked to be close in age, one in each hand and a big straw bag on her shoulder with their supplies for the day. It took everything in me not to rush up and take the bag away so I could carry it for her.

It fucking hurt to stay hidden, lurking in the shadows while she settled all three of them onto the beach. But stay hidden I did. In total agony.

I watched her build sandcastles with the girls until the tide came in and washed over their creations.

Washed away…wiped clean…erased…gone… As if it had never been.

I couldn’t bear to see anymore, and quickly realized it was not a good idea for me to be there stalking her. I felt ashamed for my covert methods and worse than if I’d never seen her again. Seeing Elaina once more with my eyes just made everything so much harder for me. I knew what I had to do.

The time had come for me to finally let her go.

Just as I was taking my last drink of her, she turned in my direction. Elaina turned to me and looked over. She couldn’t see me, I knew because I was well hidden, but she felt me. I know she felt my presence.

I’ll never stop loving you, Cherry Girl. Never. I can’t stop…and I won’t.

In that moment my heart just exploded, and what was left turned into a hardened mass of bits and pieces that weren’t worth very much.

My heart stayed hardened like that for a good while too. It had to in order for me to take my next breath and to function. So I learned to live with myself and got on with it. I didn’t have much of a choice, and in the end, accepting the hand I’d been dealt was easier than bluffing over the shit cards I was holding.

I worked hard, and lived hard, doing those things that a man needs to do to survive, no matter how hollow the aftermath leaves you feeling.

I did the most difficult thing I’d ever had to do in all my life.

I let her go.

I let my Cherry Girl go.