Christmas Wishes, Mistletoe Kisses

CHAPTER NINE

THE roar of a distant car engine got louder. Ben knew not to hope that this would be Megan bringing Jas back. She’d rung twenty minutes ago saying she was ‘running a little late’. And usually when Megan said ‘late’, she didn’t mean ten minutes late. He’d be lucky if he saw Jas before teatime. Megan had probably only just left the country house hotel near Stow-on-the-Wold where they’d been staying-not that her breezy message had communicated anything of the sort. He just knew.

Abruptly, the engine cut out and he dashed outside to open the garage doors. This must be Louise. He checked his watch. Yup, five minutes early. From one extreme to the other.

Mind you, if Louise was an extreme, he was quite happy being stuck out there in left field. Yes, the ride was going to be a little bumpy, but he could really see things working out between them.

Louise grinned at him from her car as he guided her inside and closed the garage door behind her. He walked round to the driver’s window and waited as she pressed a button to wind it down. Acting on impulse, he leaned in through the open window and surprised her with a hot, sweet kiss.

The rush of endorphins he got every time he just laid eyes on her was amazing, but a long-lasting relationship took more than just feel-good chemicals whizzing round his system. While Louise wasn’t the high-maintenance woman he’d mistaken her for, she was still smarting from a recent divorce. Only a fool would rush in too quickly, and he had never been a fool.

A crick in his neck forced him to draw back and let her out of the car.

‘Good morning, yourself,’ she said, smiling sweetly at him. Then she looked around. ‘Where’s Jas? I would have thought you’d have wanted to talk to her first, rather than have her catching us like that.’

He grimaced. ‘Megan is running late. So I have you to myself for the next couple of hours. Come on.’ He tangled his fingers with hers and pulled her out of the side door of the garage and across the garden, where small patches of snow still lingered. Most of the village was now back to normal, a warm wind from the west having melted the snow in all but the shadiest of spots.

Once through the back door, they fell into each other’s arms again. The endorphins started partying.

Louise was different this morning, calmer, more peaceful. Since Christmas Eve she’d been like a skittish horse, jumping at every little thing, sensing danger where there was none. But something had changed. He could tell it from the way she kissed and held him, from the sound of her voice, even the way she moved.

Still kissing her, he pulled her hat and scarf off and threw them in random directions. She laughed against his lips. ‘Not fair,’ she murmured. ‘You’ve only got your indoor clothes on.’

She undid the top button of her coat, but left the others fastened as she kissed him again. Everything went blurry for a bit and all he was aware of was the sweet spiciness of her perfume, the shallowness of their breathing, the pull of her fingers as they hooked into the belt loops of his jeans and contracted into fists.

Then, after hesitating for a second, she ran her hands under his sweater. He flinched as her cold fingers met his warm flesh, but the sensation was anything but unpleasant. The contrast of temperatures only heightened the sensation. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. Louise responded eagerly, surprising him by sliding her hands up his back, taking the sweater with them. Cold air rushed around his torso. Hot blood pumped through his veins.

Finding it impossible to go any further without breaking lip contact, she pulled back from him and continued to tug his top upwards. Just before she pulled it over his head, she looked him in the eyes. They stayed there like that while the kitchen clock loudly announced the seconds.

Wordlessly, he lifted his arms over his head and she disappeared as his sweater blocked his vision. The jumper went the same way as her scarf and hat.

‘Not fair,’ he said, trying very hard not to let on he was shaking. And he didn’t think it was because he was cold. ‘You’ve still got your outdoor clothes on.’

He reached for her, first dealing with the remaining large buttons on the front of her coat and pushing it off her shoulders, before stroking her face with his fingertips. That perfect bone structure might have produced a proud beauty, but he knew that the woman inside was soft and tender, carrying the scars of the years. He wouldn’t add to them. He promised himself that.

The teasing humour evaporated and suddenly everything felt very serious, momentous. Should he stop her now? Was she really ready for this? What Louise wanted and what Louise needed might be two very different things.

‘Louise…’

She silenced him with a kiss. ‘You have to trust me to make my own decisions, Ben. And I’ve decided…’

He kissed her fiercely, then drew back to look at her, hoping his eyes conveyed the storm surge of feeling that was crashing over him. ‘You know I love you, don’t you?’ She had to have guessed. It was stamped in every look he gave her, in every touch.

Her lips quivered and she tried to smile. A fat tear rolled down one cheek. ‘No, I didn’t.’ Her answering kiss was rich and soulful. ‘But I do now.’ Her hands traced the muscles of his chest and he felt them quiver in response. ‘Show me, Ben. Show me how much…’

That snapping sound in the back of his head must be his self-control breaking because, right now, he couldn’t think about anything but doing exactly what she said. He would. He would show her how much he loved her. He would make sure that she never doubted for a second, ever again, how rare and precious she was.

He kicked her fallen coat out of the way, picked her up and carried her straight out of the kitchen and into the hallway. His foot was on the bottom step when the doorbell rang.

‘Cooo-eee!’

Both of them froze.

He knew that irritating little sound anywhere. Megan.

The word he wanted to say, he couldn’t, just in case Jas was standing outside and she heard it through the door.

Louise jumped out of his arms and ran back into the kitchen. Megan’s blonde head was detectable as she tried to peek through the little window in the centre of the door. Thank goodness the glass was rippled and bowed. The bell sounded again and he jumped.

‘Ben? Is that you?’

Realising he couldn’t very well answer the door in his present state, he charged back into the kitchen and started to fight with his sweater. Why, in situations like this, did the neck hole and the armholes seem to switch places? When he’d finally popped his head out of the right opening, he ran back to the front door, yelling, ‘Just coming!’

Megan did not look impressed when he swung the door open. Jas jumped into his arms. ‘Daddy!’

‘About time too,’ Megan said, pushing past him into the hall. Never mind that she didn’t live here any more and, technically, she was supposed to wait to be asked. ‘Come along, Jasmine.’

Jas gave him one last kiss and turned to grab the handle on her Sleeping Beauty trolley bag and followed her mother inside. Ben, in a fit of adrenaline, managed to slam the door, charge past his ex-wife and daughter and make it to the kitchen door first.

Megan eyed him suspiciously. ‘What are you up to, Ben?’

He ran a hand through his hair and leaned against the door jamb, blocking her way. ‘Nothing.’ The problem with priding himself on being a straight-talker was that he didn’t get much practice at lying. Megan was looking at him strangely.

‘Coffee?’ he asked, although the words felt as if they came out sideways. In an effort to maintain harmony and stability, he always offered Megan a drink when she dropped Jas home. Most times his ex was far too busy being fabulous to stop and chew the fat, but today she was showing no inclination to rush off.

‘Thanks,’ she said dryly and pushed the kitchen door open.

Louise had her hat and scarf on and was just retrieving her coat from the floor and heading for the back door when she heard the door creak open. Quickly, she hung her coat on one of the overcrowded pegs. If she couldn’t disappear altogether, she was going to have to make it look as if she’d just arrived. Her skin was still heated and her cheeks were probably flushed. Hopefully, she could blame it on having just come in out of the cold weather.

‘Louise!’ Jas shot into the room like a bullet and threw her arms around her middle.

‘Hey, Jas!’ she said softly.

Jasmine looked over her shoulder and shouted at the woman who had just entered with Ben. ‘Mum! Look! Louise is here!’

‘So she is.’

Ben’s ex-wife was nothing like Louise had pictured her. She’d imagined a housewifey sort, but Megan was only what could be described as a ‘yummy mummy’. Her long blonde hair fell past her shoulders and ended in a blunt, straight line, and she was wearing a designer coat, military style, pulled in tight at the waist. Her high-heeled boots made a fingernails-on-a-blackboard sort of noise as she crossed the tiled floor and offered her hand.

Louise’s jeans, jumper and clumpy fur-lined suede boots suddenly seemed rather casual. She pulled the hem of her jumper down, rumpled as it had been from being whisked into Ben’s arms. She’d never thought of Ben as being a man who ‘whisked’-the revelation was still doing odd things to her insides.

‘Hello.’ Not exactly original, but it was polite and it didn’t give too much away. Jas, still hyperactive after a longish car journey, abruptly let go of her and dashed towards the door. ‘Dad! Wait till you see the really cool presents I got from Nanna and Pops! Can I get them from the boot, Mum?’

Megan nodded and threw Jasmine a bunch of car keys that she pulled out of her pocket. Her exit left the adults in an uncomfortable silence.

‘As Jas has already pointed out, I’m Louise. Nice to meet you.’

‘Megan.’

Something about this woman reminded Louise of a cat arching with all its fur frizzed up. She noticed that Megan didn’t bother removing her gloves to shake hands. Somehow, that made the whole situation easier. Being Toby’s wife had made her used to this kind of response from other women. She was always a threat, the enemy, never someone that they wanted to gossip over cappuccinos with.

‘I’m doing Louise’s garden for her.’

Both she and Megan turned to look sharply at Ben, who seemed to be pulling every mug he could find out of the cupboard.

Garden? Good one. She’d forgotten all about the garden.

‘Yes,’ she said, nodding a little too hard. ‘Ben is sorting out my rebellious garden for me…We were going to have a look at the plans.’

Don’t wince, she told herself. You were going to look at the plans today-just later. Much later.

‘Today? It’s still the Christmas holidays.’ Megan’s voice was flat as she looked at Ben, then at Louise, then back at Ben again. Nobody moved.

Okay, the only way to get round this was to play the rich-and-famous card, much as she hated it. ‘Yes. I’m sure you understand, Megan. Life can be so hectic, you know, flying all over the place…’The silly little laugh she gave turned her own stomach. She hadn’t meant to do it; it must be the nerves. ‘Sometimes we just have to squeeze the project meetings in whenever we can.’

‘I’m sure it’ll be marvellous,’ Megan said, and Ben did a double-take and looked in astonishment at his ex-wife. ‘Ben really is very talented.’

Louise stifled a smile as Ben gave her a dry look, held up a large, over-sized teacup kind of a mug and shook his head. Megan’s back was to him, thank goodness, so she didn’t see him reach for the smallest mug of the collection and, after giving Louise a wicked smile, spooned instant coffee into it.

Megan sat down at the kitchen table, her mouth pursed a little too tightly for Louise’s liking. ‘I must say, you’re all Jasmine has talked about while we were away.’

Louise shot a nervous look at Ben, who was now making a cup of coffee with record-breaking speed. ‘Well…Ben has brought Jasmine up to Whitehaven a couple of times. My son, Jack, is only a few years younger than her and it made sense for the children to play together while Ben was looking after the garden.’

Megan nodded and twisted to look at Ben as he plonked the mug of coffee in front of her, then dropped into the seat opposite Louise, his expression guarded.

‘Well, Louise, I’m sure you’ll appreciate that you’re not the only one who leads a busy life. Ben and I have some family stuff to discuss-’ as she said ‘family’ she laid a hand on Ben’s arm ‘-so, if you wouldn’t mind…’

‘Dad!’ Jasmine burst back through the kitchen door, her arms full of presents. ‘Look what I got!’

Much as Louise would have liked to walk over to Ben, slide her arms around his waist and stake her claim, this was neither the time nor the place.

Ben turned to look at Megan, an exasperated expression on his face. ‘Meg, I arranged to meet Louise at one o’clock, she shouldn’t have to leave.’

The words especially as you were late hung in the air.

Louise did an extra knot in her scarf. ‘No, it’s okay, Ben. Family stuff comes first. I’ll call you when I have an opening in my schedule. Goodbye, Jasmine…Megan.’

She collected her coat from near the back door and Ben rose and escorted her out of the kitchen and into the hall. She looked a little puzzled, but followed his lead. As she reached for the door latch, he grabbed hold of her hand. ‘Don’t go.’

She bit her lip and shook her head.

He turned her hand over, pulled it to his lips and planted a kiss into her palm. ‘Actually, you can’t go yet-not without giving away that your car is parked in my garage, which will only make Megan more suspicious.’

Okay, that was true, but she could always use the ferry and come back for her car later.

‘If you could just…I don’t know…take a walk on the beach for half an hour, I’ll see what she wants to get off her chest and then I’ll call you when the coast’s clear. You do have your phone with you, don’t you?’

She nodded. This was getting sticky, complicated, just as she’d feared when Ben had only been a daydream. That was the problem with reality. It was so…messy. She ought to take the ferry and leave them alone. But she found herself scrawling her mobile number on a pad by the telephone in the hall.

Ben closed the door behind Louise and then pressed his face against the little window to watch her disjointed shape walk down the garden path. There were some days when he regretted not being able to make his marriage work, but today certainly was not one of them.

Whatever he did for Megan was never enough. It never had been.

When she’d left him, he’d felt empty. Not really because he’d missed her-by then he’d been too exhausted to feel anything but regret on Jas’s behalf. No, the emptiness had been more a sense of being bled dry. He was a pretty decent bloke, he thought, and he’d put his heart and soul into his marriage but, in the end, he’d had to accept that his best was not good enough.

Megan had wanted more. She’d been so needy-he could see that now. Blindly, he’d thought he could help her grow, be the foundation that she could build on. But she was the sort of woman who needed constant attention, constant flattering, and he just hadn’t been skilled at that.

He still wasn’t. He scrubbed his face with his hands and headed back to the kitchen. It was going to take all his energy for the next half hour to be nice and hear what her latest gripe was without telling her to get over herself.

The young woman who had been broken in spirit had not blossomed into the strong and confident mother he’d thought she would. She was still full of all the same insecurities. And what little confidence she’d possessed hadn’t grown into self-esteem, but had hardened into self-involvement. She was the world’s axis, and heaven help anyone who didn’t agree with her.

When he re-entered the kitchen, he was disappointed to discover that her coffee mug was still mostly full. He sat down beside her.

‘So…Megan. What’s so urgent?’

She gave him a withering look. ‘Thank you, Ben. I had a lovely Christmas. How about you?’

‘Dad? Look at this journal…It’s got an electronic lock and a password. I can keep all my private stuff in here. Mum says it’ll help me grow emotionally to keep a diary.’

Ben resisted the urge to growl. ‘It’s lovely, Jas.’

Placated, his daughter started to flick through the book, full of ‘all about me’ pages. He steadfastly ignored the page entitled: ‘Boys I like…’

Turning back to Megan, he raised his eyebrows. She glanced at Jasmine, then motioned for him to join her on the other side of the kitchen. Too cloak-and-dagger for him, but it was easier to play along than have a row in front of Jasmine. He hauled himself back out of the chair and followed her, hoping that filling in the diary would command one hundred per cent of Jas’s attention.

Megan’s idea of ‘subtle’ was talking in a stage whisper.

‘I want Jasmine to come and live with me.’

He shook his head. Nah-hah. No way. They’d decided all of this when Megan had moved out. Jas needed to stay in Lower Hadwell for school, for continuity. It had been Megan’s idea to up and move to South Devon’s New Age hotspot to ‘discover’ herself. He didn’t like the idea of Jas being influenced by all of that mumbo-jumbo at such a young age. And some of Megan’s friends…

Megan’s voice rose. ‘She’s going to be in senior school come September. I think a girl that age needs her mother close by.’

The rustling noises reaching them from the direction of the kitchen table stopped.

He grabbed his ex-wife by the arm and propelled her out of the kitchen. Megan forgot her stage whisper and protested loudly.

‘Pity you didn’t think she needed a mother when you upped and left us.’

She ran a hand through her long hair. ‘I realise what a mistake that was now, and it’s time to put it right.’

‘Right for whom?’

Not for him, not even for Jasmine. This was all about what Megan wanted, about what was good for Megan.

‘Dad?’ A nervous shout came from inside the kitchen.

Still fixing Megan with his fiercest stare, he yelled back, ‘I’ll be right there, Jellybean.’

‘Yes, that’s right, Ben. Take the easy way out, run away from the main issue.’

Lord, he really wanted to grab this woman by the shoulders and shake her.

‘Megan,’ he said from between clenched teeth, ‘wouldn’t it have been more appropriate not to have discussed this in front of Jasmine?’

She made a gesture he could only describe as a flounce. ‘It should be her decision, you know.’

Give him strength! ‘We are not doing this now! Okay? You are going to collect your handbag, say goodbye to your daughter and leave. And I will phone you during the week so we can discuss this properly.’

Megan glared at him. ‘Fine.’ She stalked into the kitchen, followed his suggestions to the letter-which had to be a first-slamming the front door behind her. She was going to stew on this for days, he just knew it. Which was only going to make the coming negotiations worse, but how could he let Jas overhear? It would have to be handled carefully, properly.

As he headed back into the kitchen, prepared to dole out plenty of cuddles and one-to-one attention, he heard the screech of tyres in the lane.

Well, that ought to put any of her ridiculous ideas that he was still carrying a torch for her to rest. And about time too.

Louise put her phone away. The coast was clear. Although, from the sound of it, it would be better to leave father and daughter to some quality time this evening. Despite Ben’s protests, she insisted she was merely returning to collect her car, then she’d be on her way.

She stepped over the low wooden fence that separated the lane from the stony beach and headed back towards Ben’s cottage. Only a moment later, she had to flatten herself against the hedge as a flashy four-wheel drive hurtled towards her.

Megan was in the driving seat and she looked as if she’d just sucked a whole pound of lemons. The car slowed slightly as she spotted Louise. At first, Megan’s face registered surprise, but when she got closer her face contorted further and she gunned the engine, leaving Louise coughing on exhaust fumes.

The following day was Sunday. Through a series of text messages, Louise and Ben had decided that he should come to Whitehaven as usual and, after testing the water, they would tell Jasmine they were together.

As Ben motored across the river in the dinghy, he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. Life had a funny way of throwing surprises at you. If someone had told him six months ago that he’d fall in love with one of the glitzy women from the magazine covers, he’d probably have hurt himself by laughing too hard. But, in his eyes, Louise wasn’t one of them. She wasn’t run-of-the-mill, either. She was a unique individual, braver and stronger than she gave herself credit for.

The hike up the hill towards the house seemed to last for ever. It didn’t stop Jas complaining that he was going too fast and pulling on his jacket to slow him down. Finally, he caught a glimpse of white masonry between the trees. Jas started running-probably because she had cakes on the brain.

Two seconds later, he sprinted after her.

When he laid eyes on Louise, who had obviously been hovering in the empty kitchen waiting for him, he hadn’t counted on how hard it would be to be only feet away but not able to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. Not yet, anyway.

It was torture, having to go out to the greenhouse and look at the plants while Louise and Jas made banana muffins together. They’d decided a little ‘bonding’ time might help before he broke the news. When he returned, he drank his cup of tea so fast he scalded his throat. Did he care?

‘Come on, Jas. You and I are going for a bit of a walk.’

Jas rolled her eyes. ‘Aw. Can’t I have another muffin?’

‘When we get back.’ He walked over to the back door and handed her coat to her, then, over the top of Jas’s head, he winked at Louise. She rewarded him with the sweetest of smiles.

As soon as the door closed behind them and they started making their way along the path towards the old stable complex, his heart began to thump. ‘Jas? You like Louise, don’t you?’

Jas bent down to pick up a stick. ‘Yeah. She’s cool-and really pretty.’

No arguments from him there.

Suddenly his mouth went dry. ‘How would you feel if she…if we…’ heck, this was more nerve-racking than when he’d proposed to Megan ‘…if she was my girlfriend?’ he finished in a rush.

Jas twiddled the stick in her fingers. ‘Cool!’ she said, suddenly smiling up at him. ‘Can I have another muffin now?’ And, without waiting for him, she ran off back to the house.

He shook his head as a grin spread on his face. How easy had that been? He’d been expecting tears, arguments about why couldn’t he and Mummy live together again, but Jas had taken it totally in her stride. Maybe he wasn’t doing such a bad job of bringing her up after all.

Then, realising he could now go back to the house and, at the very least, hug Louise in front of Jas, he started to jog. If only telling the rest of the world could be that simple and uneventful, but he didn’t have to worry about that yet. For now, this was their little secret.

Ben should have suspected something was up as soon as he walked into the little newsagent’s in the village to collect his morning paper. Instead of the buzz of gossip, the rustle of paper and the ding of the old-fashioned till, there was silence, only broken by the echo of the brass bell that had announced his arrival.

There were around six people in the shop and they all stopped what they were doing and looked at him.

He felt decidedly uncomfortable as he headed for the rack full of newspapers. Had he turned green overnight or grown an extra head? What was up with these people?

As he bent to pick up his usual broadsheet there was a collective gasp.

Okay, that was enough. He stood up and turned around to face them, his arms wide. ‘What?’

Still, no one uttered a word but, one by one, they all looked at something behind him on the magazine and newspaper rack. Without turning round, he had a feeling that a trap door had opened underneath him and he was standing on thin air.

Slowly, he twisted round and scanned the display. The other villagers burst into motion and chatter, and more than one darted out of the shop without buying anything.

What the…?

He shut his eyes and opened them again, just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. There was a woman he knew very well on the front of one of the tabloids, looking grim and angry with her arms crossed. Only, it wasn’t Louise-it was Megan!

‘LOUISE GOT HER CLAWS INTO MY MAN’, the headline screamed in tall white letters on a black background. Below, were two smaller pictures, one a heart-shaped photo of him and Megan from the last summer holiday they’d shared together-graphically altered by putting a jagged rip between the two of them-and a headshot of Louise, taken from below, so it seemed as if she was looking down her nose at something.

He snatched the paper off the shelf. What the hell was Megan playing at?

What if Jasmine saw this? Or even her friends?

At first he was relieved that there only seemed to be three copies on display but, eventually, his brain kicked in and he realised that must be because the rest had been sold. He grabbed all three of them, marched up to the counter and threw a two pound coin down. He wasn’t about to wait for change.

‘You should be ashamed of yourself for selling such trash,’ he told Mrs Green.

She gave him a stony look. ‘Well, Mr Oliver, we all know Megan left a while ago, but you know what they say…’

Suddenly, he really didn’t want to know what the mysterious ‘they’ had to say about anything. He turned and walked towards the door. Mrs Green raised her voice, just so he wouldn’t miss her pearl of wisdom as he opened the door and exited the shop.

‘There’s no smoke without fire.’