Cipher

Chapter Thirty-Two

Summer woke up and stared at her ceiling. I didn’t have any nightmares. She’d had calm, peaceful dreams. Sorrow still hung heavy in her heart, but the awful feeling she’d had in her gut for weeks was gone.

Her phone rang, and she reached over and grabbed it off her nightstand.

Kendall’s name flashed across the display. “Now that’s a name I haven’t seen in a while.” Summer answered and held it up to her ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, Summer.” Kendall was quiet for a moment. “I wanted to say that things might’ve gotten out of hand. When you chose someone over me, it hurt, and I decided to hurt you back. I never would wish this on you, though. I’m really sorry about your friend Ashley. I’m sorry about everything.”

Now didn’t seem like the time to correct Kendall on the name thing. “Thanks, that means a lot. And it wasn’t just you. I said some awful things, too, and I’m sorry. I wish it hadn’t gotten so ugly.”

“If you need to talk, you can give me a call. And I was also thinking that if you cried in front of Mr. Strider he’d let you practice a week early.”

Summer shook her head. She wouldn’t be Kendall if she didn’t throw one of her desires into the mix. “Thanks for the call, Kendall.” She said goodbye and tossed her phone back on her nightstand.

She contemplated lying in bed all day, but she knew from experience that didn’t make it better—it just left you too much time to think and re-hash everything. And cry and get more and more depressed. So even though it seemed impossible, you had to get up and go through the motions of living life. Days would pass, and, gradually, it would get a little easier. Then weeks. Months. Until one day you’d find you weren’t just going through the motions, but actually living again. Memories would still cause a dull ache, but occasionally they’d bring happiness, too.

All she had to do was take that first step.

A shower seemed like a good place to start.

When she came back from taking a shower, her phone had a new text from Cody. First Kendall, now Cody. It’s like I’ve warped back in time a couple of months.

Hey, I hope you’re doing okay. I’m here for you if you need me. Just not in front of Jenna. She gets really mad if I talk to you.

“Yeah,” Summer said. “I’d hate to be the cause of you not getting any.” Then she realized she didn’t care. Everything that had happened with Cody had led her to being with Troy, and things were so much better with Troy. She could open up, tell him things she’d never told anyone else before. He knew her—like really knew her—and he still accepted her for who she was.

She scrolled through her contacts, wanting to call Troy and hear his voice, but her phone rang again before she hit the call button.

This time, Ashlyn’s name came across her display.

Large bouquets lined both sides of the podium of the chapel. Summer’s knees shook as she walked toward the front. Pamela had called Summer using Ashlyn’s phone and asked her to go to the house. Wanting to help however she could, Summer had gone. When she got there, Pamela told her that the hospital called and informed her that Ashlyn had a congenital heart defect. They said it was something she was born with that probably got worse the older she got. It caused problems like shortness of breath and irregular blood flow.

All the times Ashlyn had trouble breathing after skateboarding or surfing had popped into Summer’s head. Pamela continued, telling her how if they would’ve known, they could’ve tried medication or even surgery. Of course the combination of diet pills and caffeine probably hadn’t helped the condition, either. The ‘what ifs’ were overwhelming, and while Summer couldn’t help thinking about them herself, she’d put her hand over Pamela’s and said, “You can’t do that. I’ve thought of hundreds of ways I could’ve kept my mom home the day she was killed, but we can’t change the past, no matter how badly we want to.”

As she’d said the words, she realized she needed to follow her own advice and let go of the guilt she’d been carrying around with her. Mom was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it. Mom had made the best of the here and now, and Summer needed to do the same. She still didn’t know if she believed everything happened for a reason, but she knew she and Ashlyn were supposed to meet and that she needed to help Pamela through her loss.

And then Pamela had asked her for a favor. Which brought her to standing at the front of a tiny chapel, a sea of faces staring up at her, awaiting her words. Her notes were in her jacket pocket in case she needed them, but she was going to do her best to speak from the heart.

If only her heart wasn’t beating so fast.

“I’ve learned so much in the short time since I met Ashlyn,” Summer said into the microphone. “I’ve learned to be open to meeting new people. To get to know people, even if it’s tough at first. Most people, if you give them a chance, have something about them that makes them worth knowing.

“The first time I met Ashlyn—well, let’s just say it took me some time to win her over.” Summer smiled at the memory of trying to get to know the girl who ended up becoming her best friend. “Later, I found out that she wanted to keep her friends protected until she was sure she could trust me. Now that she’s gone, I can’t help but feel cheated that I didn’t meet her my first day here. That I missed out on the hours of friendship we could’ve had. But since I can’t change any of that, I’ll forever be grateful for the time I spent with her. Everyone who knew her will tell you how awesome she was. Ashlyn reminded me of who I was—the real me. She made me feel better about myself and made me want to be a better person. With Ashlyn, even doing nothing together was fun.”

Summer cleared her throat, trying to finish before the tears took over and she couldn’t talk anymore. “You never know what person will come into your life and change it. I’ll miss her every time I need someone to talk to.” The people got blurry, and Summer blinked, trying to clear her tears. “I’ll miss her every time I look out at the ocean and think about her dragging me into the water at dawn. But missing means she’s remembered, and she’s someone I’ll never forget.”

Summer walked back down the steps and took her seat on the bench with Tiffany, Dad, Troy and the rest of the Misfits, alternately smiling and crying the rest of the ceremony. As they came out of the chapel, Troy squeezed Summer’s hand. The sun shone brightly in the cloudless sky, keeping the fall day warm.

Pamela walked up to Summer and threw her arms around her. “Thank you for speaking today and for being such a great friend to Ashlyn. I’ve never seen her so happy. I swear, you’re an angel.”

Not quite, Summer thought. “If you ever want to talk about Ashlyn—about anything—give me a call.”

“I will.” Pamela looked over at a large group of people. “Excuse me,” she said, then headed toward the group.

“I just thought of something,” Troy said, running his fingers down her back and then hooking them around her hip. “You said you only see the end right before it happens. What made you so determined to meet Ashlyn all those weeks ago?”

Troy hadn’t given her any reason to not trust him, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him about being a Cipher and exactly all that entailed. “I got a really strong feeling that I should meet her. One so powerful I couldn’t ignore it. I told you my intuition was good.”

“Like a message straight from Heaven,” Troy said.

Summer thought of the bubbly Gabriella, the messenger sent to her. You have no idea. The thought of Gabriella must’ve made her see things, because she swore she was seeing the Angel of Death standing a few yards back.

Summer blinked, but the image remained. It was definitely Gabriella. No one else looked quite like that.

Summer leaned in and gave Troy a quick kiss on the lips. “I’ll be right back.”

She wandered over to where Gabriella was standing, halfway hidden behind a tree. Keeping her back to all the people so they wouldn’t see her talking to air, she said, “Do you say goodbye to everyone you deal with?”

“I’m not here for her,” Gabriella said.

“Really? Someone’s going to die at a funeral? You guys have an odd sense of humor.”

“Yes, we sit around thinking of funny ways to die. It keeps us from getting bored.”

“Is that sarcasm I hear?” Summer smiled at Gabriella. “Maybe I’m a bad influence. Now, I’ve got you being a smart a—” she stopped herself in the nick of time. Gabriella might be using sarcasm, but Summer doubted she’d changed her opinion on swearing. “A smart alec.”

“I appreciate you editing. But I’m not here to take anyone home.”

Something about the way Gabriella was looking at Summer sent a sick feeling through her gut. “Oh no,” she said, taking a step back. “You said I’d have time.”

“Well, it so happens that someone in the area is going to need you. He’s not ready yet, but he’s going to be soon. And you’ve got your work cut out for you with this one.”

Summer’s stomach churned at the thought, but already she felt it. Knew someone needed her help. She groaned. “I hate this job.”