Circle of Desire

Chapter Fourteen

Kat swept her gaze across the cavern. There had to be at least ten of them, if not more. At least she now knew where all the dead men from the cabin had disappeared to — they'd been waiting in the shadows to see if she escaped the trap.

"No, they weren't." Ethan's expression was grim as his gaze met hers. "And I certainly would have smelled them if they'd been anywhere else close by."

She studied him for a moment, wondering if he realized just how well he was reading her surface thoughts.

"There'd be more than one exit from this place."

"Probably." His gaze went back to the zombies. "What do you want to do?"

"There's only one thing we can do."

He looked at her, concern deeper in his nut-brown eyes.

"You sure you're up to it?"

Given the fact it felt like there were a dozen madmen pounding away in her head, she was sure she wasn't . But it was either face the dead men or stay here shivering.

She forced a smile. "At least fighting will warm me up."

"I guess there's that." He glanced at the zombies again.

"I'll head left, you head right. Hopefully, we'll meet in the middle."

"Just remember those stakes won't kill zombies."

"That I remember." He shoved them through the belt loops of his jeans, gave her a quick, hard kiss that left her lips tingling, then jumped over the wall and ran at the zombies.

They reacted instantly, rushing at him with a deafening roar. She shoved the stake through her belt and followed him out. Two dead men charged at her, bony hands outstretched like claws. She swung and smashed a booted foot into the face of one. The other she hit kinetically, thrusting him back into the pack attacking Ethan, knocking down three of them.

The zombie whose nose she had mashed roared and swung a fist. She swayed out the way then dropped, sweeping with one leg, knocking the creature off his feet.

She hit him kinetically, twisting his neck until there was an audible snap. The madmen in her head did a weird little dance, making her eyes water. She blinked away tears and rolled out from under the rush of two more zombies. She jumped to her feet and lashed out at one, her hand smacking into its face. The zombie grunted and bit her palm, teeth tearing at her skin like a dog gnawing a bone. She yelped and with her free hand punched him hard in the gut. It didn't get any response.

The back of her neck tingled a warning. She twisted, kicking out at the dead man reaching to grab her hair. Her blow cracked against his knee but seemed to do very little damage. She swore and hit him kinetically, wrapping the energy around his neck, pulling until bone snapped and the zombie dropped.

Which still left the one gnawing on her hand. She reached again for kinetic energy, but it felt as if the madmen were shoving red hot needles into her brain and all she wanted to do was throw up. And that certainly wouldn't get rid of the zombie clinging to her flesh. She hit it again, then with as much force as she could muster, lifted her knee and buried it deep in the zombie's groin. It might be dead but it had once been a man, and its reaction was still instinctive.

The zombie yelled, clutched itself, and dropped like a stone to its knees. She wrapped an arm around its neck and twisted hard. Bone snapped. She released it and swung around.

Ethan stood in a pile of the dead. There were scratches on his face and his shirt was torn, but otherwise, he looked unhurt. She sighed in relief.

His expression was grim when his gaze met hers. "Didn't you say the soul sucker will sense their deaths?"

"Yep." She dragged the stake free of her belt. "And I think you were right before. I think we're better off getting out of here."

It was one thing being sore and cold when they had the element of surprise. Quite another now that the advantage had slipped the soul sucker's way.

He stepped over the dead bodies and held out his hand.

"If she's around, we'll have to make her believe we don't think the kids are here."

She nodded. "We couldn't fight her in this condition anyway."

"Especially given the fact you can't use your kinetic abilities right now."

She slipped her fingers into his. They felt so warm and solid and right against her own that she felt like hanging on and never letting go. But let go she would when the time came and he still refused to admit the emotions she could see in his eyes.

"How do you know I can't use kinetic energy?" she asked as he led her into another tunnel that sloped gently downward.

"From the fact that you killed the last zombie with your bare hands." He hesitated. "And because I can feel just how bad the pain is in your head."

So the emotion sensing was a two-way deal. She wondered if he realized just how rare it was for two non-

telepaths to connect so intimately. Wondered if he'd been able to feel Jacinta's emotions or read her thoughts. But she couldn't ask because she'd promised not to, so she simply said, "I'll be all right once I rest with my herbal pack for a few hours."

He nodded. The tunnel came to a junction. He hesitated, looking right. She followed his gaze, staring into the darkness and feeling the wisp of evil stirring the air. The soul sucker was in the shadows, watching them. If they stepped her way, she'd attack. And she wasn't alone.

There was another dead man with her, not a zombie but a vampire, and something else as well.

She squeezed Ethan's hand, and he looked at her. The grim set of his mouth told her he was aware of those waiting in the darkness.

"The fresh air is coming from this tunnel," he said, and she knew it was more for the benefit of the watchers than for her.

"Great," she muttered. "I've just about had enough of damn wet tunnels."

"There was nothing here to find anyway."

"No."

He glanced at her and raised an eyebrow. She shrugged lightly. If the soul sucker bought their retreat, then good.

If it didn't, well, hopefully they'd return fast enough that it wouldn't really matter. And when they came back here, they'd be coming back armed to the teeth. The only problem was the time they were giving the Mara to set more traps.

They retreated. Light began filtering into the tunnels, but it got no warmer. Thunder could be heard rumbling and an icy wind whisked around their legs.

They came out of the tunnel onto a ledge. Trees surrounded them, giving little hint as to their location. She shivered and glanced at the sky. The clouds were low, almost seeming to caress the treetops.

"Either we're about to be hit by the mother of all storms, or we've come out near the top of the mountain," she said.

"I didn't think we walked that far."

"The darkness can be deceiving. I just hope we get down to the car before the storm breaks."

She grunted in agreement and glanced behind her, staring at the tunnel's entrance as Ethan led her away. Fear rose, threatening to engulf her. Evil was gathering its forces in the darkness. If they got down this mountain without being attacked, they'd be lucky.

If they survived until night, it would be a damn miracle.

So why had they been allowed to walk free? The soul sucker surely would have realized the zombies' attack had weakened them. It didn't make any sense to simply sit back and leave the attack to later when they had the upper hand right now.

"It makes a little more sense once you know we're being followed," Ethan murmured.

She resisted the urge to look behind them again. "By what?"

"It smelled like a wolf when I first sensed it, but it took off into the sky not long afterward."

"A dual-shifter," she murmured. "That's rare."

"Rare or not, it's probably going to follow us right back to the cabins."

"The soul sucker must realize we're not working alone."

"I believe it was you who said it wasn't stupid."

"We can't go back." They'd lead them straight to Gwen, and while her grandmother could look after herself, she was their trump card and the one person they could not risk exposing. Not yet, anyway.

"There's a motel up near the main highway. We'll head there and call your grandmother."

She nodded. Once the attack had hit, it should be fairly safe to go back. If they both survived the attack, that was.

She tried not to think about how tired she felt. How cold she was. How bad her head hurt. Tried not to think about facing the oncoming attack with little more than stakes, silver chains and the protection stones.

Because right now she was more frightened than she'd ever been in her life.

But why?

She frowned as she continued following Ethan down the steep slope. She'd certainly been in far worse situations than this before. If Gran and she could survive a mass attack of demons, as they had in Seattle a few years back, then surely Ethan and she could survive the attack of a couple of vampires and shapeshifters. If that was all the soul sucker sent at them, of course.

Then it hit her.

For the first time in her life, she had something more to lose than just her life. There was a very real possibility that Ethan and she had created a life last night, and it was not giving that child a chance that she feared more than anything.

She lightly touched her stomach. She had to survive, not only tonight, but this whole damn case. The child she carried might be the only good thing to come out of her brief time with Ethan, and she sure as hell was going to make sure they both survived. Because even though she now had something to lose, she also had an extraordinary reason to survive.

They came out of the trees, and she glanced skyward. A solitary bird flew high up, a dark form almost lost against the deeper darkness of the clouds. It was circling, and she had no doubt it was the shifter Ethan had sensed in the tunnel. Given the strength of the approaching storm, most birds worth their salt would be seeking sanctuary right now, not riding the blustery wind.

The storm hit before they reached the car. Not that it really mattered, since she was already soaked and chilled to the bone. Ethan turned the car's heater up to full, but it didn't seem to help melt the ice that had settled deep into her bones.

"We'll be at the motel soon," he said, concern in his eyes as he glanced at her. "You can have a hot shower there."

She nodded and wondered why he wasn't shaking with cold himself. He was as soaked as she was.

"Werewolves have a strong constitution. The cold has never really worried me."

She studied him for a moment, wondering why he was catching some thoughts and not others. He surely wouldn't be sitting there worrying about her being cold if he knew she could be carrying his child. Or was it simply a matter of neither of them being ready — or willing — to push any deeper than surface thoughts?

"So there are some good points about being a werewolf, after all?"

His gaze returned to the road. "Perhaps."

She studied his profile and saw the tension around the corners of his eyes. In the firm set of his full lips. "Why would one woman's reaction set you so against what you are?"

"I loved that woman." His voice was tight. Angry. At her, at the past.

"But unless you were born and raised in a wolf community, you must have witnessed or experienced such a reaction before. You must have been aware it was a possibility."

God, she'd certainly experienced it. And while a lover's reaction of horror and fear was both disappointing and upsetting, it was also to be expected. It was human nature to fear what you could not understand, and those who were more than human had to accept that and deal with it.

Only Ethan's way of dealing with it had been to deny that part of himself. And that couldn't be healthy in the long run.

"It wasn't just her reaction. It was what she did — " He bit the words off and gave her a hostile look. "I thought we agreed not to talk about this anymore."

She sighed. "We did. But I'm a nosy bitch, just like my grandmother."

"Then I'll tell you what I told your grandmother. Stop trying to understand me, because once this case is solved, I'm out of here."

If I don't understand what makes you tick, what the hell am I going to tell our child when it asks about you? She swallowed the thought and the rising tide of anger, and looked away. "I know you're out of here," she replied, keeping her voice even. "You keep telling me that at every opportunity. But that doesn't stop me from being curious."

His anger, frustration and hurt swam around her, an emotive swirl that brought tears to her eyes. What on earth had this woman said or done… the thought faded.

She remembered him stating no child of his was ever going face what he'd had to face. Combine that with what he'd said only moments before — that it was what she did more than she'd said — and the final piece of the jigsaw finally fell into place. Horror snatched her breath, and for several seconds she could only stare at him.

He glanced at her. "What?"

"She was pregnant, wasn't she?"

His knuckles went white against the steering wheel. He took a deep breath then rawly ground out, "Yes." There were some wounds that time never healed, and the loss of a child was one of them.

She placed a hand on his arm, feeling the tension under her fingertips.

He shook off her touch almost angrily. "Maybe now you'll understand why I didn't want to talk about it."

All she could understand was that by refusing to accept what had happened, he was keeping the pain of that night alive and festering deep in his soul. She didn't expect him to forget, because something like that you could never forget, but acceptance was vital if he was ever to move on with his life.

"Did she abort the child?"

"No." He took another deep breath and let it out slowly.

"She said she didn't want the child of a monster in her body any longer than necessary and threw herself down the stairs."

"And it worked?"

A muscle in his cheek pulsed as he battled to not show the torment she could feel through every pore.

"I rushed her to the hospital. She told the doctors I pushed her."

"Were you charged?"

"No. While accusing me, she accidentally let the truth of what had happened slip out."

"And she lost the child?"

"Yes."

She touched his arm again. This time he didn't shake it off, but he was no more relaxed than before. "Just because Jacinta reacted that way doesn't mean every woman would."

His laugh was a short, harsh sound that hurt her ears. "If the woman I loved couldn't accept what I was, what hope is there of any other woman accepting it?"

I accept it. But he didn't want to hear that. Might never be ready to hear it if he couldn't see beyond the pain of that night. "The question is, did she love you?"

His gaze stabbed hers. "She carried my child. We were going to get married."

"That doesn't mean she loved you."

"Maybe in your free and easy world it doesn't, but in mine, that suggests love."

His words knifed right through her. In two simple words he'd summed up what he thought of her. But she'd never been particularly free or easy , despite the fact she'd had more than a couple of lovers. Nor had she ever been inclined to give in to lust and go to bed with a man just for sex. Until Ethan.

But then, deep down she'd always known there was something more than just sex happening between Ethan and her. At least on her side.

He sighed. "Kat, I'm sorry. I didn't mean — " "Yes, you did." She stared ahead, determined not to let the hurt show. But anger crept past her guard to roughen her voice as she added, "And I guess it's easy for you to think that because that's exactly what I've been with you."

He touched her knee. "You've been nothing short of wonderful and — " "Yeah, I guess sex on tap is a wonderful thing for a werewolf in the midst of moon fever."

She ignored his touch, ignored the way it made her feel inside. What did it matter? He would obviously never settle for someone like her, even if she could get him to admit he was capable of feeling something more than friendship.

He didn't say anything. Nor did she expect him to, given his continuing insistence that there was nothing more than sex between them. They drove in silence until the motel came into view. He stopped near the manager's office, and she climbed out, went inside and got them a room and some extra towels.

"I'll call Gran if you want to grab the first shower." She unlocked the door to their room and tossed him the towels as she walked across to the phone.

There was a certain amount of wariness in his expression — as if he wasn't quite sure what he should do or say.

"You need to warm up more than me."

"I also need to call my grandmother."

She turned her back on him and began dialling Gwen's number. He moved away, and a few seconds later she heard water running.

"About time you called," Gwen said into her ear. "I was beginning to get worried."

"We had a few problems." Which was the mother of all understatements, but Gwen didn't need to know the details until they'd gotten out of this mess safe and sound.

"Did you find the kids?"

"Yep. But they were too well-guarded, and by that time, we had nothing much left in the way of weapons."

"So why are you calling rather than coming back?"

"Because we're being followed by a hawk shifter."

"Damn." Gwen paused, then added, "Where are you holed up?"

"At a motel near the main highway. We'll wait for the attack then come back."

"I have a bad feeling about this, Kitty-cat."

So did she. Especially given the soul sucker had already shown she wasn't averse to using some form of explosive.

It might be a case of third time lucky. "We really have no other choice."

"I doubt whether that shifter will be hanging around once he thinks you're stopping. Maybe you should just drive back here."

"He knows what car we're driving. It would be easy enough in a town this size to find it again."

Gwen sighed. "True. And right now, when we're so close to snatching the kiddies back, I don't want to run the risk of letting the Mara know she's not only facing a wily young witch, but an old one too."

Kat's smile felt tight. Right now, she didn't feel particularly wily. Just cold, wet and annoyed. "I've got warding stones, so I can use those. Just make sure you're doing the same, in case this is all a ruse of some kind."

"I'm sitting in a circle now, and it's primed against magic and evil. I'll be okay. Just make sure you call me when the attack is over."

"Will do."

She hung up the phone and listened to the patter of water as Ethan showered. She had a sudden image of water rolling down the taut muscles of his stomach and legs and closed her eyes, fighting the desire that surged through her. She might be annoyed by the man, might be hurt by his words and his continuing determination to walk away, but she still wanted him so badly it hurt.

In love for sure, she thought grimly. But she could never let him know. Just as she could never let him know she might be pregnant. While she wasn't so convinced he was telling the truth when he said he didn't want kids, she was sure he meant it when he said he would hate anyone who tried to trap him that way.

But even if that hadn't been the case, she wouldn't have told him simply because she wanted him to stay because he loved her, not out of a sense of honour or duty. And if she couldn't have his love, she didn't want anything else.

She walked across to the window and watched the rain come down. She couldn't help wondering if the skies cried for her dreams that could never be.

Ethan pulled a cover off the bed as Kat padded naked out of the bathroom.

"Wear this." His voice was a little rough as he tossed the blanket her way. "Your clothes are still too wet to put back on."

Her gaze scooted down his towel-wrapped body, arousing him even more than he already was. Then she quickly wound the blanket around her. Obviously, she both sensed and saw just how tenuous his control was right now. Dusk was closing in fast, and the moon fever was beginning to rage in his blood. With the full moon a night away, his need for her was incredibly high. Yet right now he couldn't afford to sate that need. Not when an attack could come at any moment.

He clenched and unclenched his hands, but it did little to ease the tension riding him so hard. He watched her emptying the contents of her jeans pockets onto the table but found his gaze drifting to her blanket-wrapped breasts. Suddenly his feet were carrying him closer. Not good . He swung around and strode across to the window instead. The chill of the storm eddied past the window pane and caressed his fever-touched skin. He took a deep breath, but all he could smell was the soapy cleanness of freshly washed skin and the heat of feminine wanting. She ached as badly as he, but for an entirely different reason.

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the little voice slyly suggesting he was kidding himself, that there was very little difference in the cause behind her desire and his.

Which was stupid. He was caught by the moon, nothing more.

He let his gaze roam across the parking lot. He had no doubt that the Mara knew he was werewolf. No doubt that she would wait until night had well and truly ignited the moon fever in his veins before she attacked. Which gave them maybe a half hour to prepare themselves.

Footsteps echoed in the silence as Kat walked back into the bathroom. Frowning, he glanced over his shoulder.

When she didn't reappear he gave into curiosity and followed her.

"What are you doing?" He stopped in the doorway and tried to ignore the way the blanket curved enticingly around her rear as she bent over.

She didn't look up. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Placing stones around the bathtub."

"Precisely." Her voice was vague, and there was a fierce look of concentration on her face.

"What for?"

"Circle of protection."

What she was creating was more a rectangle than a circle and encompassed not only the bathtub but a good portion of the floor. But he guessed the intention was the same.

"In here?" He couldn't help the scepticism in his voice, and she glanced up.

"Well, the bedroom is certainly out, isn't it?"

He didn't bother telling her it wasn't the location that posed the danger to his control but her closeness. "So why not set it up in the living room?"

"Because the bathroom has one door and no windows.

Easier to defend."

That made sense. She laid the last of the stones on the floor then reached for silver chains sitting on the vanity.

These she carefully placed around the perimeter of the stones, hard up against the walls and across the doorway.

"Silver stops magic," he said, clenching his fingers against the urge to reach out and pull her close as she raised up, her face inches from his.

"And, hopefully, will be our first line of defence."

Her breath was warm and quick across his face, her pupils dilated with desire. He forced himself to step back, freeing her from the aura of the wolf. She licked her lips, drawing his gaze to her lush mouth again. It took all his strength to remain still.

"Why don't you go get some bottled water in case we're here for a while? I need to finish this."

He nodded and swung away. He put on his still damp jeans then collected two bottles of water and a couple of chocolate bars and headed back. She was sitting cross-

legged in the bathtub and motioned him to sit opposite her.

"Thought you might need some chocolate," he said, placing his collection close to her knees.

Her smile broke loose. Something clenched deep in his gut, and he suddenly found himself wanting to wake up to that smile not only tomorrow, but the day after that and the day after that…

"Trying to get into my pants again, huh?"

"I'm a werewolf, and it's one night away from the full moon." His voice was a little harsher than necessary, and her amusement faded. For that alone he was sorry. "What do we do now?"

She took a deep breath. "Now we must complete the circle. Hold my hands."

He placed his hands in hers. Energy seemed to surge between them, an electric touch that pulsed in time with the ache in his groin.

"Close your eyes."

He did. And saw her naked, panting with need for him.

Her fingers clenched against his. "Concentrate."

"I'm trying," he ground out.

"Then try harder."

He bit back the urge to swear and forced the image from his mind.

"Breathe deeply. Draw breath until it seems to fill every pore in your body."

Her voice was a monotone. Soothing. He did as she asked and felt the tension begin to slip.

"Now, I want you to raise your body energy by tightening your muscles. Start at your toes and work your way up. Imagine the energy as a mist… squeeze it up through your body until it reaches our hands."

He had no idea what she meant, but as he methodically tightened his muscles, the air around him began to crackle with energy. When their fingers clenched against each other, it felt like the air was burning.

"Now, imagine that energy leaving your fingertips and fanning out in a clockwise circle around us. Imagine the two of us encased in an orb of mist. Feel the power of it pulsing through you and out into the night."

As he imagined that orb, she began murmuring. The air seared his lungs with every intake of breath, and energy vibrated through his limbs.

Then the noise died, the energy died and an incredible silence wrapped around them. He opened his eyes. The air seemed to shimmer above her head.

"Evil and magic cannot enter this place." Her gaze met his almost challengingly. "Not for as long as we touch."

"Touching how?" He edged a little closer so that their knees rubbed and was suddenly glad he still had condoms in his jeans pocket.

"Hands on hands. Hands on body." A smile touched her lips. "Not sex, if that's what you're thinking."

"Well, damn."

She raised an eyebrow, her expression amused. "Sex magic raises an altogether different type of power. I don't think you're quite ready for that yet."

He stared at her. "You're kidding."

She shook her head. The energy that zipped around them caught her hair, standing strands of it on end. "No. Sex magic raises a very strong energy that can be used in spells, but it's not particularly reliable when it comes to protection spells."

"Have you ever tried sex magic?" Even as the question left his mouth jealousy surged through his veins. The thought of her with another man made him want to hit something, which was totally irrational, especially given her history and the fact he could lay no claim on her. Not now, and certainly not in the future.

"My history?" Her green eyes narrowed dangerously, and anger touched her voice. "Shall we compare notes when it come to lovers, Ethan?"

He smiled grimly. "No. I'm a werewolf. I have had as many lovers as there have been full moons."

"Then let's not talk about my history. I've only had as many lovers as I have fingers."

If she was counting him as one of those lovers, that was still nine too many in his estimation. He frowned at the thought and wondered if in helping her create the protection circle, he'd somehow short-wired his brain.

"So," he repeated. "Have you actually tried this sex magic?"

She hesitated. "Yes. And it was damned amazing."

He released one hand and touched her mouth, running a finger across the warm lips he ached to kiss, then down the long line of her neck. "As amazing as what we've shared?"

Her full lips opened slightly, as if she couldn't drag in enough air. "Yes."

He ran his finger around the outline of one pebbled nipple. Saw the tremor run through her. "You sure about that?"

"Yes. It's just sex with us. You said that yourself."

That he had. But he'd been lying, and they both knew it.

What they had went beyond just sex. How far beyond he didn't know and would probably never find out. But one thing he did know. He'd never experienced this level of desire and need before. Not in all the long years and many lovers he'd had since Jacinta.

Maybe not even with Jacinta.

He tugged the blanket loose until it fell to her waist and allowed her wonderful breasts to spill free. He cupped one, brushing his thumb across her nipple.

She shuddered, but her gaze darted to the door. "They come."

"Can they see what we're doing?"

"Not with this type of circle, no. They'll just feel its presence when they try to get in here."

"And as long as we're touching we're safe?"

She nodded. "I think we'd better keep one hand joined, though, just so it doesn't venture too far into sex magic territory."

He smiled. He had no intention of going that far, but he did have every intention of exploring what he could one-

handed. He leaned forward and captured her lips. It became a long and tender exploration that did strange things to the rhythm of his heart and made him want her more fiercely than he'd ever dreamed possible.

He kept kissing her, kept touching her, all the while aware of the noise beyond their haven and the constant rise and fall of the energy that pulsed around them.

Through them.

The fever in his blood burned as fiercely as the air itself, but an awareness of the danger that waited beyond their orb of safety was just as fierce. He wasn't about to risk her safety to sate his own needs.

After a while silence fell and the trembling force of energy grew calm. They'd gone. The silence ticked away.

Alarm ran through him.

Silence didn't tick.

He opened his eyes and glanced toward the door. A small parcel sat in the doorway. "The bastards have left a bomb."

She grabbed him, stopping him from rising. "Don't break the circle. It could be a trap."

"It's not."

"You don't know that."

"I know I can't feel them anymore. Can you?"

She shook her head. "But that doesn't mean you can simply walk out of the circle. We have to close it first."

"We might not have to time — " "Then we find it. Believe me, breaking this circle right now could be more dangerous that that damn bomb."

He took a deep breath and tried to calm the urge to ignore her advice and run her out of the danger he sensed was slipping ever closer. "What do we do?"

She grabbed his other hand again. "Imagine that misty field of energy again. Draw it back into your fingers and down into your body. Relax with it, loosening the muscles as you work back down to your toes."

He took a deep breath and did as she directed. The energy that pulsed around them swirled across his fingertips and slithered up his arms, easing the tension riding his shoulders before trickling down. But long before the sense of relaxation reached his toes, he heard the ticking stop.

Time had run out.

He flung himself over the top of her as the bathroom exploded into flame.