City Surgeon, Small Town Miracle

CHAPTER TEN

MAX spent the night with his thoughts returning again and again to Maggie. Uneasy, and getting worse.

As the city’s traffic became more and more gridlocked, the hospital became quieter. Apparently people were abandoning their cars and walking, or finding accommodation where they could. Once the traffic was truly gridlocked, accidents lessened, and even when they happened ambulances couldn’t get through the blocked roads.

‘Contact your local medical centres if you need to,’ radio announcers were telling those with battery-operated radios. Suburban doctors were operating emergency clinics. The population was coping as best it could.

Tomorrow there’d be questions asked in parliament, Max thought. Heads would roll over this unprecedented mess. Only…

Only Maggie.

Dammit, Maggie.

He needed to know that she’d got home safely, but he rang her apartment block between patients, at ten and again at midnight, and got no answer. He fretted about it to Anton as they worked together on what they hoped would be their last surgical case for the night, and Anton provided an answer.

‘Most small apartment blocks don’t man their front desks at night,’ he explained patiently, as he monitored their patient’s air supply. ‘Phone in the morning when the concierge comes back on duty.’

‘There should be an after-hours emergency number.’

‘Every apartment will have its own number,’ Anton said, staying patient. ‘Maggie will be able to ring out if she needs to.’

‘I need to ring Maggie.’

‘You don’t have her cellphone number?’

‘No!’ he snapped, so harshly the nurses looked at each other and thought whoa, tread lightly here, surgeon annoyed.

He just needed to know she’d got home. The radio was reporting total gridlock. Even when he finished here he wouldn’t be able to drive and find out.

In desperation, when he finally finished in Theatre-after two in the morning-he rang John and Margaret at the farm. Woke them. Frightened them.

For nothing.

No, Maggie’s apartment number didn’t work at night but if he rang in the morning the concierge would put him through. Her cellphone number? Actually, she’d given her usual phone to John because the locals used it at need. She’d said she’d buy another for private use but, no, she hadn’t given them that number either.

Why hadn’t they asked her for it?

Why hadn’t he asked her for it?

‘So what’s the problem?’ Margaret asked sharply.

Max caught himself and said, no, it’s only that the city’s in the grip of a blackout, and he was probably worrying unnecessarily.

He left the ward and walked slowly across the quadrangle to his apartment. Thanks to the hospital generators everything seemed normal. He felt stupid.

But he also felt increasingly apprehensive, and the feeling wouldn’t go away.

Maggie.

This was not how it was supposed to be.

And as he stood there he thought…They were supposed to be together. One man and one woman and one baby.

The knowledge was suddenly so strong it was almost primeval, kicking in where any pretence at intelligence left off. Maggie and her baby weren’t here, so why was he here?

He stopped and stared southward, toward Coogee. Three miles or so as the crow flew. How long would that take him to walk?

How long would it take him to run?

The pain wasn’t too bad if she lay still.

She lay still.

The backache grew. It seemed to be coming in waves.

The apartment was dark.

She was not afraid of the dark.

She was afraid.

Okay, get sensible. Yes, the contractions were indeed contractions. Yes, they seemed to be getting stronger and closer together.

She rang the ambulance yet again.

‘There’s a massive traffic jam,’ a sympathetic operator told her. ‘I’m trying as hard as I can to get a car to you. Can someone take you to your local medical centre? Can you call a neighbour?’

‘I’ll call a neighbour,’ she agreed, sweating.

She staggered up from the settee. Went to the door, unlocked it-just in case the ambulance could get here. Looked out into the pitch-black hallway.

Tried to remember seeing any of her neighbours. Tried to figure which door she could knock on.

Thought again she was being stupid.

This was her first baby. She was hours away from delivery. Maybe a day.

No, she decided as the next contraction hit. Not a day. But hopefully hours. It was stupid to stumble about in the dark waking neighbours she didn’t know.

She groped her way back into her darkened living room and collapsed back onto the settee.

Dammit, she wasn’t going to lie here in the dark and be terrified. She wasn’t!

Max…

‘Don’t think of Max,’ she told herself between gasps. Between contractions. ‘Max has less chance of getting here than an ambulance does, so there’s no use even thinking of him. Think of your daughter instead. Do you want her to meet you sweating with fear in the dark?’

‘No!’

‘So do something about it.

She took a deep breath, which was supposed to be steadying but wasn’t. ‘This isn’t a scary time,’ she told herself, trying hard to believe it. ‘It’s looking more and more like it’s your daughter’s birthday, so put your party hat on. When the ambulance arrives I want to look brave.’

As if…

At least light some candles.

‘Okay. I think I can do that,’ she gasped, clutching at her back and trying not to cry out. ‘Maybe. If I don’t have

something else happen first.’

Three miles wasn’t very long as far as marathons went, but this wasn’t a marathon, this was a sprint. Max was fit but he kept fit by working out between cases in the hospital gym. He had strength training. He didn’t run. He especially didn’t run in the dark without benefit of streetlights.

It’d be a sight easier if his heart hadn’t been hammering in his chest before he’d started. The more he ran the more it kept right on hammering.

He was being dumb, he told himself, over and over again. He was imagining problems when there weren’t any. There was no reason at all for a sane doctor to run across a darkened city, growing more fearful by the minute. But the mantra had started in his head and once started it wouldn’t go away.

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie.

He’d let her go home. Of all the stupid, criminal, irresponsible…

It wasn’t stupid, the sane part of him said. He’d assumed the electricity would come back on as it had come back on last night and the night before.

He’d never imagined this totally irrational certainty that he’d lose her.

She wasn’t his to lose, the sane portion of his brain reminded him, but the sane portion of his brain was getting smaller by the minute, replaced by raw emotion. Maggie was his woman. His heart was telling him that, with every sound of his feet hitting the pavement. And his woman was having his baby.

His? Irrational? Maybe but it didn’t matter. He knew truth when he heard it and he was running.

And in an apartment in Coogee…‘I will not have my baby in the dark. I will not have my baby in fear. I will not have my baby lying on a rented hotel apartment settee with no beauty. Not!’

Her apartment block loomed solid and black in the night. There was a faint light coming from one of the terraces above his head, but none of the windows were lit.

Maggie hadn’t lit her candles, then?

Of course not. Maggie would be asleep. She wouldn’t thank him for barging in and waking her. Terrifying her for nothing.

He made himself slow. Made himself catch his breath. Went into the foyer. Wondered why the door into the foyer was unlocked. Then thought maybe it was attached to some electrical security system that wasn’t working. If the concierge had faced the choice of locking tenants out or letting the foyer stay unguarded overnight, that’s what he would have done.

So he could climb up the stairs to Maggie’s apartment.

Just walk up and knock?

That’s what he was intending to do. Walk up and knock. It’s three in the morning. Wake up, Maggie, I’m here.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Surely the books hadn’t said it hurt this much.

Breathe…

You can do this.

‘I can’t…’

He knocked on the door and the impact of the knock had the door swinging inward. What the…? She hadn’t locked it? She hadn’t even closed it properly?

The corridor he felt his way down was in complete darkness. So was the apartment through the door. Maybe stopping to fetch a torch would have been sensible.

He wasn’t feeling sensible.

He swung the door wide and called. ‘Maggie?’

Nothing.

Did he stumble round in the dark and see if he could find her? Hell, he’d scare the living daylights out of her.

He raised his voice. ‘Maggie?’

Still nothing.

It wasn’t completely dark. There was a faint glimmer from the hall mirror, reflecting light from outside. His eyes were finally adjusting to a darkness that was more intense here than in the moonlight outside, but it was still a less intense dark than the corridor. He could see shapes. A bench in the kitchenette. A hall lamp. The living-room settee.

‘Maggie?’

He was feeling his way in, wondering if he had the right apartment. There were four doors in this corridor and he’d got here by feel.

It’d be just his luck to have the wrong apartment.

‘I’m a doctor,’ he called, just in case some stranger was sitting bolt upright in bed, preparing to have a heart attack because of a prowler in their apartment. ‘I’m looking for Maggie. I’m looking for a pregnant woman in trouble.’

He sounded stupid, he thought, edging into the sitting room as he called.

The drapes were wide open and he could see the moonlit sea beyond. Then, as he drew further into the room, he saw there was another light source outside. Low light, hidden until now by the bulk of the settee.

He moved cautiously forward, hit his knee on a coffee table and swore.

‘Maggie?’ He tugged open the big glass door to see where the light from outside was coming from. ‘Maggie?’

‘Did you bring gas?’ a voice demanded from floor level, and the words were a series of breathless, pain-filled, gasps. ‘If you didn’t, kill me now. Oh, Max…’

She’d set up a birth centre. She was on the tiled balcony floor but on bed of sorts, a mound of soft bedding right at the edge of the terrace, where the open protective rails gave her a sweeping vista of the sea beyond.

There were candles everywhere. She was surrounded by a sea of light, a complete circle apart from the line of sight between her and the sea. The moon was hanging low, casting a silvery trail of moonbeams over the ocean. They looked almost a ribbon, reaching out to touch the woman on the cushions at his feet.

Apart from the hush-hush of the waves on the sand below there was complete silence. All this Max absorbed in a fraction of a second. And then…

‘Mmmmmmmmmpf…’

It was a long, low moan, so low that unless he was right next to her he’d never have heard it. For Max, who’d delivered a thousand babies or so, it was the quietest birthing moan he’d ever heard.

Forget the moonbeams. He was frantically shifting candles so he could get to her. He wanted so much to take her in his arms, but there was still a part of him that was sensible. ‘Obstetrician Goes Up In Flames’ wasn’t a headline he wanted to hit the newsstands any time soon.

Obstetrician? Maybe he was.

Indeed he was. For even as he took in what was happening, even as emotion hit him like a kick in the guts, his professional side was kicking in as well. Making him sensible; making him take the time to make the scene safe before he could kneel beside her and tug her into his arms and hold her close.

It took seconds and then he had her.

‘Mmmmmmmmmmmpf…’

Another contraction already…

He held her tight until it passed, and then he kept on holding her. Yes, he needed to be her doctor, but first there was an urgent need to be…Maggie’s man.

‘Max,’ she whispered, and he simply held her until the next contraction hit and beyond. Maggie’s man? Some truths were beyond question. Then…

‘No gas?’ she demanded.

‘I didn’t bring my bag,’ he said ruefully. ‘I ran.’

‘You ran.’

‘Dumb,’ he said. ‘Like you having your baby in the middle of a power strike. You didn’t think to call for help?’

‘I’ve called for help.’

‘To me?’

‘I called the ambulance. You’re not an obstetrician,’ she said, with a breathless attempt at dignity.

‘I’m an obstetrician. Can you bear me to examine you?’

‘Mmmmmmmmmmpf…’

‘That was a yes?’

He didn’t want to be Maggie’s doctor, he thought. He wanted to keep right on holding her. He also wanted a full birthing suite. A full obstetric team.

‘I did call…the ambulance…’ she repeated. ‘Hours ago. I hoped the ambulance could get through. I didn’t think you could.’

‘I’d have been here earlier if you’d phoned me.’

‘You want me to apologise for not phoning?’ she gasped. ‘You didn’t bring gas. I’m holding it against you for ever. Mmmmmmmmmpf…’

‘I’m holding you against me for ever,’ he said shakily, but he couldn’t. He had to set her down again on the cushions and be her doctor.

‘I’m…I think I’m going to push,’ she managed.

‘Try not to till I’ve seen.’

‘Then hurry up and see,’ she said, and moaned again.

‘You want to yell?’ he asked.

‘I’ll wake the neighbours.’

‘Someone might have gas,’ he said. ‘Did you think of that? If you yelled someone might have come and helped you.’

‘I only want you. Mmmmmmmmpf…’

The head…

‘Maggie, she’s crowning.’

‘Don’t care. Mmmmmmpf…’

‘You do care,’ he said, hauling the candles closer to where he needed to see. Then as another contraction rippled through and he realised how close she was to delivering, he suddenly changed direction, shifting candles, cushions, shoving Maggie’s whole makeshift bed and Maggie with it along the balcony so she was hard against the wall. So he could haul her into sitting position and leave her propped up, gasping, fighting, bearing down, so she could see…

So she could see her daughter enter the world.

And then…There was moment’s stillness. A moment’s peace where the world held its breath. Where even the moonlit sea seemed to hush. Until…

She screamed, a scream to wake every neighbour from Coogee to Bondi, a truly excellent birthing scream that came with that last triumphant push.

‘Slow…Slow…’ he said urgently, and she did, backed off, stopped pushing, while his fingers found…cord.

Not a problem-he had it free in seconds.

Oh, thank God he was here.

‘Go,’ he said, and she sighed and groaned and held her knees and pushed with one mighty heave-and managed to see…

As her baby daughter slipped into Max’s hands and into the world.

No one came. The scream that could have woken the dead evoked no response at all.

There was no sound at all as Max cleared the baby’s airway, checked her breathing, felt this tiny, perfect being come to life in his hands. Maggie’s daughter didn’t cry. She simply stared upward, dazed, incredulous, vernix-coated, slippery as hell.

And inside him, something that had been missing for a long, long time settled back into his heart and stayed.

What could ever be more perfect than this? This moment of birth.

And this birth was the best. Delivering Maggie’s baby…Quite simply he felt like the luckiest man alive, and as he slipped the tiny girl onto Maggie’s breast, watched the baby slide against her mother’s skin, saw Maggie’s hands cradle her daughter, watched her eyes fill with tears, saw the two of them mould into one moment of absolute perfection, he knew his world could never be the same again.

He knew he could never want it to be the same.

He didn’t speak. Instead he simply watched, and smiled and smiled and smiled.

Finally Maggie looked up at him, her eyes shimmering with tears, and whispered simply, ‘Thank you, Max.’

‘It was my privilege,’ he said softly. ‘I believe that I love you.’

The world held its breath once more.

She stared at him for a long moment. Awed. Then slowly the corners of her mouth curved into a smile

‘It took only that,’ she whispered, and the world started again. Back on the beach the waves began again, life began again. ‘Oh, Max, my love. My heart.’ She was smiling and smiling, her eyes misty with love and with happiness. ‘For you to love me…How can you mean it?’

‘I never say things I don’t mean. Maggie, how can I not love you?’

She hesitated, and he saw her smile falter. ‘But…’

But? He didn’t want to hear a but-and he wouldn’t do anything to mess with that smile.

‘Maggie, I won’t rush you into anything,’ he said quickly, touching her face lightly with his fingers. Wondering how this wonderful woman could possibly call him her love. Her heart. But with that one word-‘But’-reality had broken in a little. Sense was starting to prevail.

The professional side of him was still playing a part. Right now, Maggie was at the most vulnerable moment of a woman’s life. The emotion she was feeling must be overwhelming. To take her to him-to claim her as his own-was what he wanted to do more than anything in the world, but not now.

‘I’ll not push you further,’ he whispered. ‘Not this night. I swear I’ll feel the same, now, tomorrow and for ever, but if it takes months for you to believe me, then so be it. I’ll wait for however long it takes.’

He was watching Maggie’s daughter find her breast, take her first taste of Maggie’s milk. Wondering how she could doubt his love. But if Maggie needed time, he had to give it to her.

‘Oh, Max, I do love you,’ she whispered, and he felt the last trace of the heavy load of armour he’d placed around his heart disappear to nothing. ‘My Max.’

But her instinctive ‘But’ still had him shaken. It had reminded him that this was no time to demand commitment. It wasn’t fair.

There was a reason laws were in place to protect the doctor-patient relationship, he thought, forcing himself to be sensible. He wasn’t about to play on her gratitude and her emotions. He must hold back!

‘What…what will you call her?’ He was struggling hard to return to being professional-he needed to, because the birthing process wasn’t quite over. But as far as Maggie was concerned it was done. Life was here now, complete. For all of them.

‘Rose,’ she said.

‘Is that a name you and Will picked out?’

‘We didn’t choose,’ she whispered. ‘We didn’t dare to think there’d ever be a baby. I did wonder about Chloe, only now I see her…she’s just Rose. And I’ll add an Elizabeth for Betty.’ She smiled shyly up at him, looking almost anxious. ‘What do you think?’

‘Pretty much perfect.’

‘I think so,’ she said. ‘Stitches?’

‘Nothing to stitch.’

‘Too perfect,’ she said, shy giving way to smug. She was relaxing again now, and she was looking just about as happy as it was possible for a woman to be. ‘I’m so good at this.’

Right. He didn’t mention the cord around Rose’s neck. There were some things Maggie didn’t need to know. How close she might have come…

It didn’t bear thinking about.

‘I’d like you up this end of the bed,’ Maggie said, sounding suddenly like the old Maggie, like the strong and imperious woman he loved.

‘I believe I need to clean up.’

‘It can wait,’ she said. ‘I need to be kissed.’

So much for the doctor-patient relationship. He touched her face again, loving her with every part of his being.

He still needed to be sensible. He still needed to remember that instinctive ‘But’.

Okay, Maggie needed to see that what he was feeling wasn’t the result of need and loss and all the things that had been messing with his head for so long. But right now…

‘Max, right now I’m holding my daughter and I believe my world is wonderfully, amazingly fabulous,’ she whispered, loving him with her smile. ‘The only thing that could make it more perfect is if you kissed me. So…’

So he’d never know how she was going to finish that sentence, for he had her in his arms, her daughter gently cradled between them, and he was kissing her as she wanted to be kissed.

As he wanted to kiss her.

Which was pretty much as perfect as a kiss could be.

They slept-or Maggie and Rose slept, and Max lay with Maggie in his arms, with tiny Rose wrapped and snuggled between them.

If he slept he might move too close, put in peril this tiny, precious creature who already felt a part of him. He had her nestled between them so Maggie could feel her daughter’s closeness, but Max could feel the baby’s warmth as well, her tiny snuggling movements, her flawlessness.

With the roads still blocked from the night, the usual sounds from the street below were silent. There was only the ocean, the moonlight over the water, this woman, this baby.

Life was perfect.

There were complications. He knew it. He was a surgeon in a major teaching hospital and Maggie had committed herself to be a country doctor and farmer. Were the two compatible?

Could Maggie leave Yandilagong to be with him?

The decision was too hard for now. They needed time to think.

Only there wasn’t much space in his head to think. All he could think was how right Maggie felt in his arms, and how wonderful life felt right now.

Maggie stirred some time toward dawn. It was still dark. She could close her eyes and sleep again, only right now she was too happy to sleep. She felt her daughter nestled beside her. Max’s arm was under her shoulders, his chest was her pillow, she was cradled against him and she felt so happy she was almost floating.

Yet she’d said, ‘But.’

Why? It had been an instinctive reaction, a stab of acknowledgement of every barrier that lay between them. ‘But it’s impossible that you love me.’ Only right now she couldn’t even think what those barriers were.

So why had she said it?

It had changed things, she thought, no matter how he’d reassured her. She’d told him she’d loved him, but he’d moved onto practical things again. She had allowed the real world a glimpse in.

But she wanted to love him in the real world as well. She wanted to be with him. In Max’s arms, with her daughter by her side, she felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

There were problems. Even within her haze of relief and love and happiness she could dimly acknowledge that. Maybe that’s what her ‘But’ had been about. She’d promised Betty that she’d care for Angus, she’d care for the farm, she’d even told her the medical needs of Yandilagong were settled. How could she simply abandon that promise and walk into Max’s life?

She would if he asked her. She must. She’d find a way.

Max loved her. How wonderful was that? How wonderful was life?

It was too wonderful to let herself think about problems right now, she thought dreamily. Problems were for tomorrow. Right now she was in the arms of the man she loved with all her heart, and her daughter-their daughter?-was between them.

She smiled a cat-got-the-cream smile and she nestled closer into Max. His arm tightened instinctively around her.

She was loved.

She slept.