Colters' Promise

CHAPTER 9

ADAM Colter watched as his wife, Holly, decorated the huge family Christmas tree with Ethan and Ryan hovering to make sure she didn’t fall off the ladder.

It’s not that they wouldn’t have been more than happy to decorate while she oversaw the project, but Holly was determined that she hang every ornament and exclaim over each one as she did so. Every single one reflected a memory for the Colter family through the years, and each Christmas the tree grew heavier with those collected memories.

Maybe it was his age, but he seemed to grow more nostalgic with each passing year. He’d watched his children grow up under this very roof. He and his brothers had watched their wife blossom under their love and protective umbrella, and in return she’d given them something so infinitely precious that they could never want for more.

Now his children had spread their wings. They’d left the nest and yet they were all right here, surrounding him. All had come back. There had been several points in his life when he couldn’t have imagined being happier. The births of his children. Callie being born in the meadow. Holly returning to him and his brothers when they’d thought they’d lost her. But nothing compared to right here, right now.

His wife slipped her arms around his waist and hugged him to her. “What has you so deep in thought over here?”

He blinked, realizing that the tree was done and the lights sparkled like tiny diamonds hung over the thick limbs. He smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

“I was just thinking about my children and my wife.”

Holly turned her face up and smiled back. “Good thoughts then.”

“The best.”

She sighed and stared back toward the tree and then let her gaze wander to her other husbands as they cleaned up the boxes and put them away until the tree came down.

“This year we’ll have Lauren. Callie’s so worried about her. She hasn’t left Callie and Max’s place since she got here a few days ago. Callie says she’s so ashamed, and my heart just aches for her. I want to go over and just hug her.”

“Why don’t you?” Adam asked, smiling at how tenderhearted his beautiful wife was.

Holly hesitated. “Because I know how it feels. That kind of shame. Even as you know it’s not yours to bear, you can’t shake it.”

He squeezed her, anger still fresh and fast to surface when he remembered what she’d endured at her first husband’s hands. The little bastard had died in prison the previous year, which only brought a small measure of satisfaction to Adam and his brothers. They would have much preferred to make him suffer a long, slow, painful death.

“It’s precisely why you should go visit her,” he said softly. “You more than anyone know exactly what she’s going through.”

“I want her to venture out,” Holly said, her lips firming in resolution. “Everyone will spoil her endlessly and restore her faith in the male species. She needs that.”

Adam nodded. “Be patient. She’ll take on the world and venture out of her safe haven when she’s ready. But there’s nothing to say that you can’t go over and lend her your love and support.”

Holly checked her watch and then let out an exclamation. “I’ve got to run. I’m supposed to go see Lily today.”

“I’ll drive you,” Ethan said from across the room. “I need to go into town anyway.”

Holly frowned and shook her head. “No need.”

Adam exchanged raised eyebrows with his brothers. Holly had been acting awfully suspicious lately. Not that she didn’t often visit Lily, but during the last week, she’d gone down there with increasing frequency and she was adamant that no one accompany her.

Ryan’s lips thinned and he crossed his arms over his chest as though he was about to argue, but then he seemed to think better of it and abruptly backed down. “What time will you be back?” he asked gruffly. “It’s supposed to snow again.”

Holly considered the matter a moment and then did another check of her watch. “I’ll be home by dark. Promise. I may stop in to check on Callie—and Lauren, but I’ll call you from her house if I do.”

Adam pulled her up and kissed her lingeringly. “Be careful, okay? We worry when you’re away from us.”

She shot him a dazzling smile and hurried away to get her purse and keys. As soon as she left the room, Adam shot his brothers a seeking glance.

“What the hell is our sweet little wife up to?”

Ethan shook his head. “Hell if I know, but she scares me when she gets this way. There’s no telling what she has up her sleeve.”

Ryan frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets. “You think everything is okay with Lily? Have the boys said anything lately about any problems they might be having? Holly’s been spending a lot of time with her lately.”

Adam rubbed his hand over his chin as he pondered the possibility. But no. Seth, Michael, and Dillon all seemed happy. Content. At total peace. You could sense it in them. And there’d been nothing in Lily’s actions to hint at any turmoil. She was as sweet as ever. Quiet, shy, but fierce in her protection of the people she loved.

Finally he shrugged. “It does us no good to stand around and speculate. Sooner or later we’ll know what she’s up to. Until then we’ll just have to be patient.”

HOLLY pulled into Callie’s driveway just as dusk was blanketing the mountains. Snow flurries spun and spiraled in crazy swirls, melting on the windshield as she cut the engine. Instead of calling her husbands as she’d promised, she sent a text to all three that she was safe at Callie’s and would be home shortly. It saved time and prevented the inevitable concern she’d hear in their voices.

And to be honest, she wasn’t feeling entirely wonderful. She had a chill and a fiery ache had settled into her right side. The fever could well be the result of being exposed to Callie’s strep throat, and she could only assume she’d eaten something over the past several days that hadn’t agreed with her. She and Lily had cooked enough Christmas dinners to feed an entire battalion. Twice. But she was confident that come Christmas Day, she was going to serve her family the best holiday dinner they’d ever tasted.

With a sigh, she climbed out of the SUV and headed toward Callie’s front door. The entire front of Callie’s house was decorated in bright, colorful Christmas lights. A large wreath hung on the door, and framed in the huge picture window stood the tree, ablaze with over a thousand white lights. Callie had always loved Christmas. Every bit as much as Holly did. It warmed Holly through that her daughter had her own home just a short distance away from her parents. She missed her babies when they were away and of all her children, Callie had spent the most time away from home. Now she was back where she belonged and Max would keep her centered. He’d calmed her restless spirit and had given her a safe haven.

As she reached the steps, the porch light came on and the door opened, revealing Max.

“Hello, Mrs. C. Come in, come in. Here, let me take your coat.”

“Hi Max,” Holly said, leaning up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. Her son-in-law’s acceptance into the family hadn’t come without hiccups, but he’d proven himself a dozen times over since he and Callie had married.

Max took her coat and ushered her inside to the living room, where a fire blazed in the hearth.

“Mom!” Callie cried as she hurried over.

Holly caught her daughter in her arms and hugged her tightly. “Hi, baby. How are you?”

“I’m good. What brings you over? Would you like some hot chocolate or a glass of wine?”

“Nothing for me, thank you,” Holly said. “Where’s Lauren? I’d hoped to see her while I was here.”

Callie and Max exchanged pained looks.

“She’s in her room,” Callie said with a sigh.

Holly glanced at Max. “Would you mind if I went to see her?”

Max wiped a hand wearily over his face. “I’d be grateful for whatever you could do for her. I feel so damn helpless. I want to help her but I don’t know how. She’s hurting and I’m powerless to stop it.”

Holly impulsively went to him and enfolded him a big hug. In her mind, no one ever got too old for a motherly hug, and judging by his reaction, he didn’t think so either.

He hugged her back, squeezing a little tighter than normal.

Holly drew away and patted his cheek affectionately. “I know you don’t feel like you’re helping her, Max, but I promise you she appreciates you just being here and for going to New York to fight for her. She’s adrift. She feels isolated and alone. She’s afraid, ashamed, angry. It just takes time to heal and to regain your confidence.”

“If she can be as half as strong as you are, Mrs. C, she’ll be just fine,” Max said, clear love in his voice.

“I wasn’t very strong in the beginning,” Holly said ruefully. “Adam, Ethan, and Ryan made me strong. Their love made me strong. Just like our love is going to make Lauren strong again. We simply have to make her see it.”

“Thank you,” Max said sincerely. “For caring about my sister.”

Holly smiled, reached over to squeeze Callie’s hand, and then headed toward the stairs. “I’ll be back down in a bit, Callie. If your fathers call, tell them I’m with Lauren. They’ll understand.”

She climbed the stairs and turned to the left, away from the master suite and down a hallway where the other bedrooms were located. At the end, she encountered the closed door of Lauren’s bedroom and knocked softly.

“Lauren? It’s Holly Colter. Can I come in for a few minutes?”

A long moment later, the door opened and Lauren stood there, surprise and confusion reflected in her dark, wounded eyes. Holly wanted to cry as she took in how changed the lovely young woman was from the last time Holly had visited with her.

She looked infinitely fragile. Haunted. Callie had said she’d been wearing scarves and long sleeves to cover the bruises, but she wore no such things now, and even days after her attack, there was still evidence of bruising. Much fainter now. Yellow and green instead of black and blue, but the marks were there.

“Hi,” Holly offered softly.

Lauren smiled but swallowed nervously. “Hi, Mrs. Colter. I didn’t realize you were coming over.”

Holly flashed a bright, cheerful smile, determined not to show any pity or anger over Lauren’s condition. “Oh, I pop in all the time. I wanted to see how you were doing. I’ve been dying to see you again.”

Guilt crept into Lauren’s eyes and she gripped the door a little tighter.

“Can I come in?” Holly asked again.

Lauren hastily glanced back and then opened the door wide. “Of course. I’m sorry.”

Holly sailed past her, her heart aching at the change so evident in the young woman. Spying the two chairs by the window, she headed in that direction and perched on the edge of one. She leaned over to pat the other and motioned for Lauren to sit.

Lauren gingerly settled onto the opposite chair, her unease rippling from her in waves. Holly grasped Lauren’s hands and squeezed comfortingly.

“I’ve never been good at being subtle so I’m going to just dive right in. Callie told me what happened to you.”

Lauren closed her eyes and her head bowed automatically. Holly moved one of her hands from Lauren’s and cupped Lauren’s chin, gently nudging it upward until Lauren was forced to look at her.

“Listen to me, baby,” Holly said in an achingly gentle voice. “This wasn’t your fault. It’s not your shame to bear. I know how you’re feeling. I understand all too well.”

Lauren’s eyes clouded. “How?” she cracked out. “How could you possibly know? Or understand? Your husbands would never …”

Holly shook her head. “No, they wouldn’t. Thank God for that. I thank God for them every single day. But you know what? I didn’t always have them. I was running from my first husband when Adam found me lying in a ditch. He took me home, and he and his brothers helped put me back together. They protected me, they loved me, and they gave me the strength to fight back when the time came.”

Lauren’s eyes rounded in surprise. “You … Someone—your husband—hurt you?”

Holly nodded. “Lauren, honey, you can’t hide from the world forever, and moreover, you can’t hide from the people who love you. My husbands and my sons are dying to spoil you rotten and treat you like an honorary daughter and sister. Hell, they spoil Callie shamelessly and she’s a married, grown woman. It’s bad enough Max gives her the moon, but her fathers and brothers do as well. I know it’s hard for you to trust right now, but in time your faith will be restored. Not all men are bastards. There are some really good men out there who’d die before ever hurting a woman.”

Tears filled Lauren’s eyes. “I just feel so stupid. And I’m angry with myself. I should have left him. I made excuses for him. I brushed off the warning signs. I just felt so damn alone and for a while he filled that emptiness inside me.”

“Oh, honey,” Holly said, pulling Lauren into her arms. She held her tightly and rocked back and forth. “It isn’t a crime to make a mistake. We all make them. Just because you gave your trust to the wrong man doesn’t mean you should punish yourself for the rest of your life.”

Lauren sighed and wiped hastily at her tears as she pulled away from Holly. “It sounds pretty stupid when you say it like that. What I mean is that I sound stupid and you make complete sense. I just wish it was that easy to believe, you know?”

Holly smiled and ran her hand over Lauren’s damp cheek. “The thing is, you don’t have to endure this alone. You’re surrounded by family, by people who love you. No one in this family thinks less of you. We’re worried about you. My boys want to go kick the little bastard’s ass, but we all just want you to be happy again. Venture out of your shell. We want you to feel safe here.”

This time Lauren hugged Holly and her slender body shook with sobs as she buried her face in Holly’s shoulder. For the longest time, Holly simply sat there and held her, rocking her back and forth as Lauren let go of the pent-up emotion.

“I miss my mom,” Lauren whispered.

“I know you do, baby. It’s times like these when a girl needs her mother the most. No matter how old you get, the need for your mother never goes away. I hope you’ll allow me to stand in for her.”

Lauren squeezed her fiercely. “I’d love that more than anything.”

Holly squeezed her back. “Not only do you have a stand-in mother, but you also have three fathers and three brothers in addition to Max, and you have two sisters too.”

Lauren lifted her head, her eyes wide in wonder. “I do, don’t I?”

Holly smiled. “You most certainly do.”

“Oh,” Lauren breathed. “Max and I are so very lucky. For so long it was just us three. Him, me, and Mama. And then just me and Max. I’ve always dreamed of having a big, loving, wonderful family that just surrounded me.”

“Well, I’d say you got your wish,” Holly said with an indulgent smile.

Lauren wiped at her face again and briefly looked down before returning her gaze to Holly. “Does the self-recrimination ever go away? I close my eyes at night and I’m just bombarded by humiliation. I cringe at the things I put up with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m furious with him. But I’m also angry with myself, and that’s harder to take.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Holly said gently. “Give yourself time to heal. Distance always provides perspective. The guilt and self-blame will fade. You’ll be able to look back and know that the blame lies solely with him.”

“I hope you’re right,” Lauren murmured. “I hate wallowing in this cesspool of pity.”

“My advice? Get out more. Stop shutting yourself away from the world. Take long walks. It’s beautiful up here. Go to town. Buy something fun for yourself. Pamper yourself. Get a manicure. Whatever it takes to give yourself back the gift of confidence.”

Lauren smiled. “Thanks, Mrs. C. Really, just thank you. I needed this kick in the ass.”

“Oh, I don’t kick people in the ass,” Holly said. “That’s what my husbands are for. I just hug people to death and then mother them senseless.”

Impulsively, Lauren hugged her again. “I’m so glad I’m here. This family is the absolute best.”

Holly held her for a long moment and then eased back so she could rise from her chair. “I’d love for you to come up to the house for dinner. My children are in and out all the time. Our door is always open.”

“I’d like that,” Lauren said softly.

“And now I better run before the husbands send out a search party,” she said in amusement.

“They love you so much,” Lauren said wistfully.

Holly reached out to stroke her hair. “One day you’ll find someone who loves you just as much.”

“I’ll walk you down,” Lauren said, rising from her own chair.

Holly gave her a delighted smile. Max and Callie would be thrilled that Lauren ventured down. It was a step. Lauren wouldn’t be taking on the world in the next day, but she’d get there on her own. The Colters would simply close ranks around her and help her get back on her feet again.