THE train trip from Sydney to Gosford was a very pleasant one, once you left the city, especially if the train was half-empty and you were able to get an upstairs window seat on the right side, which John had. After crossing the Hawkesbury River, the track followed the water in long leisurely curves, giving even the weariest traveller a panoramic and relaxing ride.
Not that John was weary. That was the advantage of flying first class; you could sleep on board and arrive at your destination, refreshed and ready for anything.
Which was just as well, given what he would have to endure today.
Parties were not John’s favourite pastime. He wasn’t much of a drinker and didn’t care for empty chit-chat. But it had been impossible not to come to his parents’ fortieth wedding anniversary. He loved his mother dearly and would not hurt her for the world.
His father, however, was another matter entirely. It was difficult to love a parent who’d rejected you when you were only a child.
Nevertheless, John did still love his father, a discovery he’d made when his mother had rung him recently to tell him that his father had had a heart scare. John had actually been relieved that his old man hadn’t died. He’d actually cared.
There was no getting over the fact, however, that what his father had done all those years ago had hurt him terribly. Thank God he’d had Grandpa. If it hadn’t been for his grandfather stepping in, then Lord knew where he would have ended up. He’d probably have run away from home and been living on the streets. Maybe even ended up in jail. That was how wretched he’d felt after his brother had died. Wretched, confused and angry.
Yes, he’d become very angry. Sometimes, when he looked back over his teenage years, he felt guilty over the mean way he’d acted, especially how he’d been to Scarlet.
He’d been extra-mean to her.
But that was because he’d liked her so much. It had been perverse of him; he could see that now. But back then feeling anything for anyone scared the hell out of him. He didn’t want to like her, or need her. So he’d pushed her away right from the first time she’d rocked up at his front door and asked him to come out and play. Not that she took no for an answer easily. Scarlet had always been a stubborn child with a will of iron. But she’d got the message in the end and had stopped asking him to come out and play. Perversely again, he’d been deeply hurt by her perfectly understandable rejection, deciding childishly that if she was going to ignore him, then he would ignore her.
Anything she could do he could do better!
Unfortunately, they had always been put into the same class-the ‘gifted’ class-so ignoring her totally had been a bit difficult. But he did his best. He hadn’t been able to believe his bad luck when they’d been put in the same classes in high school. But worse had been yet to come. During that first year, puberty had struck both of them. Overnight, Scarlet had gone from a pretty but skinny little thing to a seriously hot-looking babe, whereas he had gone from an okay-looking boy into a too-thin, too-tall streak of hormone-muddled misery. Once the testosterone had started charging through his veins, however, he had begun fancying Scarlet like mad, which naturally had made him act even worse around her. But, privately, he had fantasised about being her boyfriend.
No no, let’s not sugar-coat this, John. You didn’t fantasise about that. You never wanted to be Scarlet’s boyfriend. Being her boyfriend would have required a degree of emotional intimacy, something you were incapable of. Still are, if truth be told. You just wanted to have sex with her.
John smiled wryly to himself at the thought of how Scarlet would react if he ever confessed to lusting after her when they’d been at school together. Not that he ever intended telling her. What would be the point? She’d made it patently clear to him over the years that she couldn’t stand him. Not that he blamed her. He’d started the hostility between them.
It was one of the many things he regretted now. She really was a lovely-if somewhat spoiled-girl, and hadn’t deserved the way he treated her. Hadn’t deserved getting conned by Jason Heath, either. Telling her the truth about that bastard was one thing he didn’t regret. Scarlet might have ended up feeling miserable in the short term, but she’d have been even unhappier in the long term if he’d let her remain ignorant. He hadn’t really loved Scarlet, he’d just been using her to hide behind.
John wondered if Scarlet would be at the party today. He wouldn’t mind catching up with her and seeing how she was. His mother had told him during one of her phone calls that Scarlet had been inconsolable after finding out that Jason had been cheating on her-apparently, that was the story she’d put around to explain her broken engagement. Scarlet’s teachers hadn’t been the only ones to be shocked when she hadn’t gone on to university. He’d been appalled, and had told her so on one occasion. After all, she was as smart as he was!
John chuckled wryly at himself, recognising his arrogance. At least he didn’t strut around like some men, bragging about his successes. Bianca used to say that he was the strong, silent type.
John’s heart contracted fiercely as it always did when he thought of Bianca. One day, perhaps, he would get over her death. But not yet. The memory was still too raw, too painful. One thing was sure, though-he would never go back to Brazil. That part of his life was over. For the next couple of years at least, he would live and work in Australia. Not here on the Central Coast, however. Aside from the fact it was hardly the mining capital of the world, he was never comfortable spending time at home. Too much bad karma.
No, he would base himself in Darwin, where he already owned an apartment and where he stayed for a few weeks each year. Not that his family knew about any of that. If he’d told them he holidayed here in Australia every winter, they would have been offended that he hadn’t visited, or asked them to join him-his mother especially-so he’d simply never told them.
But he’d have to tell them something soon, he supposed. Though not the total truth, of course.
Over the past couple of weeks, John had tidied up all his loose ends in Rio. He’d given away his house to Bianca’s family, as well as everything in it. He wanted no memories of his life there. All he’d taken with him to the airport was his wallet, his passport and his phones, plus the clothes on his back. During his long wait to board his flight-which had turned out to be even longer than he’d anticipated-he’d bought a small winter wardrobe at one of the many boutiques. He’d also used the opportunity to have his thick dark hair clippered again in the close-cropped style he’d become used to since being in hospital last year. One of the nurses had become frustrated with his increasingly shaggy mane and shaved it off to less than a centimetre all over his head. Despite having worn his hair longish all his life, John found he rather liked the buzz-cut look. It suited him and was easy to look after. He didn’t even have to own a comb. John always liked to travel light.
The train pulling into Point Clare station brought his mind back to the present. In a few minutes they’d be at Gosford station. He wondered idly who would be picking him up. Not his father, that was for sure. Maybe Melissa. Or Leo, Melissa’s husband. Yes, probably Leo.
He liked Leo. He was one of the good guys. Anyone who’d married his little sister had to be. Melissa was, without doubt, the most spoiled girl he’d ever known. Even more spoiled than Scarlet.
Scarlet again…
It would be good if she was at the party. Good to know if she’d finally forgiven him for telling her about Jason. But he rather doubted it. When news was bad, people liked to blame the messenger. Scarlet had been furious with him that night, calling him a liar at first. She’d finally calmed down enough to listen to what he was saying, but he suspected he was still not her favourite person. But then, he never had been, had he?
The announcement that they were approaching Gosford station had several people in the carriage standing up and making their way down to the doors at the lower level. John knew there was no need to hurry so he stayed where he was, gazing out at the expanse of almost-still water on his right, and the many boats moored there, bobbing gently up and down. Spread out around this expanse of water lay Gosford, the gateway to the Central Coast beaches, but not a beach town in itself, the sea being a few kilometres away. The train rumbled over a bridge then went past Blue-Tongue Stadium which had been a park in the old days but now hosted football matches and the occasional rock concert. Soon, they were pulling into the station where John took his time alighting.
It was a habit he’d got into when coming home, being slow to get off the train, doing everything he could to shorten the time of his visits. He still wasn’t looking forward to today, but he no longer felt the gut-wrenching tension he used to feel at the prospect of being around his father. Which was a good thing. Not that he intended to stay too long. Masochism was not his style!
No one was there, waiting for him at the spot where his mother had instructed him to go, so he dropped his bag by his feet and waited. Less than thirty seconds later, a shiny blue Hyundai hatchback zoomed up the ramp and braked to a halt beside him.
He didn’t recognise the car. But he recognised the beautiful blonde behind the wheel.
It was Scarlet.