Crash Into You

Chapter 41

Isaiah

HITTING EIGHTY-NINE, I SHIFT DOWN and slam my hand onto the steering wheel. “That’s what I’m fucking talking about!”

The surge of adrenaline rushing through my veins makes me feel like I’m flying high without the loss of control that drugs or alcohol brings. This is the only time I feel truly alive. I turn left at the end of the drag strip and pause for my competition to catch up: a Nova with sweet upgrades.

This is my last race for the night and damn, I feel good. My competition, a guy ten years older than me, shakes his head as he gets out of the car with a hundred in his hand. “I should have smoked you, kid. What’s under my hood is ten times what you’ve got.”

He’s right. His upgrades should have kicked my ass. I take the money and resist the urge to kiss it. “Good race, man.”

“Your reaction time at the light is insane,” he says. “I want a rematch Friday night.”

My luck must be changing. “Bring cash and I’ll race you all night.”

We share a short nod, and I drive Rachel’s car to where Logan and Rachel wait for me. I’ve won every race tonight. After getting his feet wet, Logan won more than he lost, bringing money to the table.

In the darkness, Rachel shines as bright as the sun. Her hair a halo framing her face, her eyes stars. “That was awesome!”

In two easy strides, I reach her, weave my arms around her waist and lift her feet off the ground. My angel is so light she practically floats. “Isaiah! You’re crazy!”

“Insane,” I answer.

She rests her forehead against mine and braids her hands tightly on my neck. “That was close. He almost got you in the end.”

I love the sensation of her body against mine. Tonight, I’m going to kiss her again and, if she’ll let me, I’ll explore a little further. “Were you doubting me?”

She smiles when she notices the lightness in my voice. “Never.”

That’s right, angel. I’ll never let you down.

Rachel wiggles in my hold. “You’re strong.”

My lips twitch. “Pure steel.” Strong enough to protect you.

“Hate to break in here,” says Logan, “but I’ve got a game tomorrow and a full pocket.”

I set Rachel on her feet while keeping her tucked beneath my shoulder. “Then let’s go.”

Though I consider The Motor Yard safe, it’s still not a good idea to flash money—especially the type of money Logan and I banked tonight. Logan follows me back to my apartment, where we had left his car.

Logan hands me his wad of cash. “Have you ever thought of adding a nitro system? Those cars were flying.”

I shake my head. “That’ll put us against a different class of cars, and in order to compete in that we’ll have to go bracket racing. Plus, nitro’s some crazy-ass shit. A lot can go wrong.”

Logan flashes his not-guilty-by-reason-of-insanity grin. “All the more reason to do it. What’s bracket racing?”

Leaning against her car, Rachel tunnels her hands into the sleeves of her black coat. She’s cold, and I crave to make her warm. “I’ll explain it later.”

Logan’s eyes shift to Rachel. “Got it. See you.”

He drives away and I head over to my angel. “Want to see how much we made?”

“Definitely.”

Rachel allows me to open the door for her in the entrance and to my apartment. Once inside, she slides off her coat and rests it on the kitchen table. In a nervous gesture, she laces her fingers together and glances around the room. “Is your roommate home?”

“No,” I say. “He’s staying with Echo tonight. You sure your brother will cover curfew?”

She stares at her fingers. “I covered for him last night so he agreed to tonight.”

Giving her space, I sit at the card table and begin counting cash. She sinks into the other folding chair and counts the other pile. For a brief few seconds, the only sound in the room is the scratching of dollars moving against each other, and thanks to the crazy bat downstairs, we get to listen to Elvis singing about shoes.

“Six hundred,” she says in awe. That would be my winnings.

“Four hundred and forty,” I tell her, holding Logan’s stash.

Rachel slumps in her seat as if in shock. “Off of your fifty and Logan’s twenty we made one thousand and forty dollars.” She pauses. “That’s not possible.”

“It is.” Has it not hit her that in one race on the streets the pot was five thousand dollars? And that was a slow night.

She leaves the table and begins to pace. “We’re going to do this, aren’t we? We’re going to pay Eric off and be free of him, and my parents will never know what I did. I mean, we have over two-thousand dollars already.”

My mind clears with that info. “How are you coming up with two thousand?”

Rachel repeats the endless loop she’s created from one corner of the couch to another. “I have a thousand. A little over five hundred in birthday and Christmas money. I pawned some jewelry for another five hundred. Oh, Isaiah.” Her face flushes. “We’re close to halfway there. We could pay Eric back before the six weeks.”

She’s a mixture of anxious and excited, and those feelings become contagious. Knots form in my stomach and I think of the million ways I want to touch her and kiss her and let her know that she’s the only one in my life.

What I should tell her is that tonight will be our only money rush. Now that people know how Logan and I race, they’ll either avoid us or not wager as much. I have no doubt we’ll raise the amount we need, but it could still be a struggle.

I also decide to keep it to myself that Eric has eyes on us and that he’ll be unhappy we’re making money.

Rachel finally stops the frantic path she’s wearing onto the subflooring. Her face beams. She’s light in a world full of darkness. Rachel is happy and that’s all I desire.

“We could be together, Isaiah. With no worrying over Eric or debts or anything. We could be happy.”

Electricity shoots into my veins and shocks me as if I’ve never been alive. I stand abruptly, knocking over the folding chair. My heart races and this surge is something unknown. Something I don’t understand. Something that fosters confusion, panic.

Her eyes glimmer with too much adoration; with too much of an emotion I’ve only seen people give to anyone other than me. I see love in her eyes and it scares the hell out of me.

“You need to go,” I say. My voice is deeper than normal and a tremor courses through my body. My eyes burn as a shadow crosses her face, snuffing out all the light. Damn me to hell. I’m the one who created that sorrow. If I stay with her, she’ll never know light and happiness.

“Isaiah,” she says carefully. “I don’t understand.”

“Go home.” I swipe the money off the table and stalk into the bedroom. With three steps, I circle the room and perform the act again. My thinking is messed up, as if I’m high or took a severe blow to the head. My thoughts detach from my mind, away from my body.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” comes a soft voice from behind me.

Why hasn’t she left? “Nothing. I’m looking for a place to hide the money. This is a shitty place, Rachel, and awful things happen here.”

“Like people breaking in,” she says.

That’s exactly what can happen. “Just go.”

Rachel looks small and defenseless as she rests her temple against the door frame. The dim light of the kitchen silhouettes her frame. Obscured by blackness, I can’t see her face.

“You could give the money to me.” Her voice is so soothing that part of me clings to the sound. “Where I live is safe.”

My thoughts collide into one another. The back of my legs hit the bed and I sink onto it. My entire life is one long thick rope full of knots and kinks where people have twisted me inside and out. Nothing about me is solid or sturdy. I’m frayed and tattered. “I’m no good, Rachel.”

I stare at the cash in my hands. My fingers clench and the money crackles. I won’t lead Rachel further into the abyss. This ends here. It ends tonight. “You need to leave and never come back. I’ll race my car. I’ll pay off the debt. Leave and know I’ll always keep you safe.”

Silence. Nothing from her. Nothing from me. I close my eyes, cursing the scorching wetness behind my lids. I don’t want to feel anymore. Feelings hurt too damn much.

Quiet footsteps shuffle in my direction and the cash crackles again in my fist. “Go, Rachel.” My voice is so raw it’s nothing more than a rasp.

The bed moves and sinks to my left. A touch so light I almost believe I’m imagining it presses on my shoulder. “I think I’m falling for you, Isaiah.”

My head dips. I think I’m falling for you, too, and it terrifies me.

The pressure remains on my shoulder as the fingers of her other hand trace the compass tattooed on my forearm. “I don’t know what love is or how it should feel, but I know that when I’m with you I like who I am, and that’s never happened to me before.”

I like who I am when I’m with her. The music below us is soft, lyrical with a steady beat. Elvis’s deep voice sings about suspicious minds.

“I like who you are, Isaiah, and I like how you look at me. But what I really like is the rush that hits me when you’re in the room.”

Because Rachel has always been magic, she gives words to the emotion tearing at my soul. “People don’t attach themselves to me, Rachel.”

She kisses my shoulder, and a shudder runs through my body, igniting every cell. “Then maybe they don’t know you like I do.”

The finger tracing the tattoo slides down to my hands. “Give me the money, Isaiah. Trust me to keep it safe.”

I clutch the money tighter, but as her hands weave around mine, my grip loosens. “Do you understand the trouble, the danger, you’re taking on?”

With her fingers holding on to the cash she whispers, “Yes.”

I place my hand over hers. “Put it down.”

“But, Isaiah...”

I lift my head. “If you say you’re going to keep it safe, I believe you, but right now, I want you to put it on the floor.”

She half smirks with a twinkle in her eye. “You’re bossy.”

“Yes,” I admit. Hear what I’m saying, Rachel. Listen to what a controlling mess you’re falling for. “I am.”

The money hits the floor, and my hands immediately frame her face. She has skin so soft that I worry about damaging her with a gentle touch. Her breathing hitches as my lips come close to hers. I’m going to kiss her. “Tell me I’m who you want.” So I know there are no mistakes.

Her nose slides against mine as she slowly nods. “I don’t want anyone else.”

God help us both for her allowing the devil permission.