Craving Him

8

Ben

When I arrived in Queens that morning a quick check of the clock told me that Emmy should be at the library for her seminar. I pressed the button for their intercom, hoping her roommate was home.

“Yeah?” Ellie said a moment later.

“Hey, it’s Ben. Can I come up for a minute?”

“Um, Emmy’s not home.”

“I know. I wanted to talk to you alone, actually.”

“Oh.” Her confusion was evident in her tone, even through the scratchy intercom speaker. “Okay. Come on up. I’ll buzz you in.”

I took the stairs to apartment 4B. The aroma of various international cuisines hit my nostrils inside the building, along with the smell of damp, sour laundry from the first-floor laundry room.

When I reached their unit Ellie was standing in the doorway waiting for me. “Well, look who it is . . . the man, the legend, Mr. Ben Shaw.” She smiled sarcastically. “What brings you by?”

“I was hoping we could talk about a few things concerning Emmy.”

“Sure.” She waved me inside after her and closed the door. “You want anything to drink?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” We headed toward the one small sofa dominating their living room and sat down.

“So . . .” Ellie cocked her head, waiting for me to explain my presence here.

“I’d like Emmy to move in with me. I know she’s worried about finding a job and paying rent here. She could work for me and live with me to take care of both problems.”

“That’s a bit sudden, don’t you think?”

I shrugged. “Not when I know we belong together. I don’t take this lightly. I’ve never lived with a woman; I’ve never even considered it. Emmy has challenged everything I thought I knew about relationships. I want this. And it has nothing to do with her being late on her rent, either.”

Ellie’s expression softened. “Why are you telling this to me and not her?”

“Because I know her and how determined she is to make her own way. She might require some convincing, a gentle nudge in the right direction.”

“You want me to help you convince Emmy to move in with you and what, be your personal sex slave?” She raised her brows, taunting me. “Sounds like a demanding position.”

“No. I’d like her to be my assistant. And yes, when I talk to her about all this I assume she’ll ask your opinion. I was hoping you’d see things my way.”

Ellie looked skeptical.

“I’ve also taken the liberty of hiring a roommate-finding service for you. They advertise the room opening, interview applicants for you, and complete background checks on potential tenants. You would have your rent covered here.”

Her eyes lit up and locked on mine. I could tell I’d just hit on a key point. I’d known that Ellie was working overtime to cover both shares of their rent. And now that I was paying attention, I noticed her skin was pale and dark circles underscored her eyes. She looked worn out.

“If she brings it up to me, I’ll talk to her. But I’m not going to convince her to do something she doesn’t want to do.”

I nodded. “Okay. I understand.” I wasn’t going to force Emmy into this arrangement, either. But if she worked for me, she’d be free to join me in Fiji and any other place I was working. I needed her with me. Plain and simple. And Emmy had immensely enjoyed her travels in Paris and Milan. This would be a chance for her to see the world.

I rose to leave, wanting to be gone by the time Emmy arrived home. “Thanks, Ells.”

“Ells. I like that.” She patted the top of my head like a dog. “Maybe you’re not such a bad guy after all.”

I chuckled as I exited the apartment. Maybe one day I’d win her over.

Emmy

I was exhausted when I arrived home. I wanted out of the dress clothes and to slip into a warm bath. I’d fought the cold winter air blasting through New York and the subway system all for nothing. The seminar I’d attended was a complete waste of time. More than fifty of us sat in the audience, eager for practical advice and actual job leads while an ancient librarian talked about proper formatting of a résumé and how to use computers to apply for jobs online. I was a little more advanced than step-by-step instructions for attaching my résumé to an email.

Ellie was all smiles when I found her in the living room. “How’d it go?”

“Exhausting. I’m going to take a bath.”

“Did you hear from Ben today?”

“No. Why?”

She shook her head. “No reason.”

That was strange. I shrugged it off and headed into the bathroom to fill the tub. I considered pouring myself a glass of wine and bringing it into the bath with me, but seeing that it was only two in the afternoon I decided against it. It wasn’t a habit I wanted to start.

After my bath I lounged on my bed with my laptop and was surprised to see an email from Ben pop into my inbox.

From: Ben Shaw

To: Emerson Clarke

Subject: Hot Assistant

Date: November 12th 4:37 p.m.

To Whom it May Concern:

I am hoping that you can point me in the right direction. You see, I’m in desperate need of a hot and sexy assistant. The girl I’m looking for is about five feet three inches tall, has long brown hair, pretty gray eyes, a sassy mouth, and the most adorable southern accent. She’s also a food pusher. Know of anyone that fits this description? I’m willing to pay handsomely to have her at my service.

Yours,

Bennn . . .

I read the email twice wondering if it was some kind of joke. I picked up my phone and called him.

“Hi, baby.” The deep tone of his sexy voice still affected me. My heart kicked up a notch at the way the nickname rolled off his tongue.

“Hi. I was just reading your email.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yesss . . .” I drew out the word, suddenly feeling unsure.

He chuckled to himself, the rich sound reverberating through the phone, sending a shiver down my spine. “And?”

I sat up straighter in bed, removing the computer from my lap. “Were you being serious?”

“Of course.”

“I can’t take your money, Ben. I’d help you with anything you needed me to.”

“Nonsense. What was Fiona paying you?”

I reluctantly told him.

“I’ll double that.”

“No way. That’s way too much.” I’d been paid decently by Status Model Management, and though living in New York was expensive, I’d never in my life expected to make as much money as he was offering me. He was insane.

“Emmy, don’t argue with me.”

I snapped my mouth shut even though he couldn’t see me. He was so dominating, so in control. I felt powerless to disobey.

“Just listen for a moment,” he continued.

I bit my cheek, waiting for him to continue.

“I want whatever this is between us. I want a real relationship with you. My job takes me all over the world. This won’t work if we’re separated for weeks on end. You know that.”

I wondered if he doubted himself, or us, or if he knew he’d be tempted to stray if we were apart. My stomach cramped at the thought. “If I worked for you, what would I even do for you?”

“Manage my social media presence online, answer emails, coordinate my bookings, arrange travel for us. Travel the world with me and have hot, sweaty sex on as many continents as we could check off the list.”

“Ben.”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Be serious.”

“I am serious. I want you. I want you with me always. You need a job. I need an assistant. Why the fuck would I keep paying Gunnar and have his ass travel with me while I’d just be sitting there alone in a hotel, missing you? Think about it, Emmy.”

I was quiet for a moment while I thought it over. His idea actually did make sense. We could be together. Really together. “What about Fiona? Would I have to deal with her if I worked for you?”

He released a heavy sigh. “Unfortunately I don’t see a way around that one. But I can talk with her directly if you prefer not to.”

I didn’t know which was worse, having to deal directly with Fiona or the idea of Ben talking to her alone. I’d have to suck it up and deal with it. The idea of paying my half of the rent again was appealing. “I have to think about it.”

He was silent for a moment. “There’s something else, too.”

“Oh?”

“I’d like you to move in with me. We’d be together most of the time anyway while traveling, during which Ellie would be practically living alone. She could get another roommate who’s actually around. Safety in numbers and all that. And it’d put you right here with me, which is exactly what I want.”

He’d made a solid argument, though moving in together was moving way too fast for my taste. “I’ll think about it.” I chewed on my thumbnail.

“Can I come pick you up? I could feed you dinner tonight and we could hang out.”

“I was planning on staying in tonight. I haven’t spent much time with Ellie.” Everything around me was moving so fast, I didn’t want to leave the solitude of my room, let alone the country.

“Fine. But promise me you’ll think about everything and call me before you go to bed. I need to hear your voice.”

A pang of guilt pressed down on me. I knew he didn’t sleep well without me. But Ben had the ability to completely possess me, and that scared me. If I turned myself over to him too completely, jumped in all at once, I worried about what would happen when he was done with me. I already loved him with every fiber of my being, but if I also worked for him and lived with him . . . I needed to make sure I was still me. I couldn’t allow myself to become crushed again or sink into a depression like I had when I had found out about him and Fiona’s secret past and her pregnancy.

“I’ll call you before bed,” I confirmed.

“I love you, Emmy. You know that, right?” he said, his voice suddenly serious.

“I love you, too.”