Cross My Heart

Three

Lacey climbed out of bed and slipped on her favorite pair of slippers, a fuzzy pair that were soft enough to feel like an old friend. She headed to the kitchen for a midnight snack, tiptoeing on the way, careful not to wake Ty. Careful not to stop and watch him sleep and risk rousing warm feelings for a man she no longer knew, but one she wanted to know again.

She poured a glass of milk, pulled the Oreos out of the refrigerator and settled into the corner she jokingly called her kitchenette. In reality it was a small table at the end of the entry hall.

“Mind if I join you?” Ty asked, just as she dunked her first cookie into the cold milk.

Without waiting for a reply, he sat in the only other chair that fit around the table, Digger curling at his feet. Ty was shirtless, wearing only his partially zipped jeans, unsnapped at the waist. A low light glowed from the kitchen, casting them in shadows, but even in the darkness surrounding them, she could see enough to admire how broad his chest had become, how drop-dead sexy he was.

She ran her tongue over her suddenly dry lips. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither. Obviously.” She gestured to her midnight snack.

“So you resorted to your old standby, cookies and milk?”

She slowly lowered the Oreo onto the table. “You remember that?” He’d often caught her snacking in his mother’s kitchen late at night. That’s how comfortable she’d been in his childhood home, she thought.

“I remember lots of things about you,” he said in a husky voice.

“Such as?” she asked, her curiosity not the only thing that he aroused.

“Such as the fact that Oreo cookies are your comfort food. You like them cold and hard from the fridge even though you’re just going to dip them into milk and make them soggy. And you keep the cookie in the milk for about five seconds so it doesn’t get too soft. Like this.” While speaking, he reached out, snagged a fresh cookie, dipped it into the cold milk, then held it out for her to taste.

She opened her mouth and bit down, the cookie partially crumbling, partially melting in her mouth exactly the way she liked it. Her lips brushed over his fingertip, the accidental touch causing an unexpected rush of physical sensation to sweep over her.

She laughed, keeping things light, and wiped her mouth with a napkin, but what she felt was anything but funny. Her breasts grew heavy and a pulse-pounding awareness thudded through her veins along with a heaviness between her thighs. She managed to suppress what surely would have been an orgasmic-sounding groan. Because somehow her comfort food had turned erotic and sharing memories with an old friend had become something much more sensual.

From the reciprocal yet clouded look in his eyes, she doubted that had been his intent. He was holding himself back from her now and she missed the closeness they’d shared when they were kids and they didn’t think things through all that much.

There had been something special between them, something they’d never acted on, either because they’d been afraid to sever a friendship that represented the only stability in their young lives, or because neither quite knew what to do with what they were feeling. Maybe even back then, they’d subconsciously realized that sex alone wouldn’t be enough.

Although Lacey had to admit, at the moment, sex sounded awfully appealing. Still, they’d never had the chance to scratch the surface of that first love, leaving them emotionally wanting more. Leaving her wanting more. She never really knew how Ty had felt, whether he’d really liked her or whether he just enjoyed being her hero.

At least now they were adults, capable of making grown-up choices and dealing with the consequences, she thought. Consequences that for Lacey included Ty showing up when she had an unanswered marriage proposal from another man.

“Tell me about the time after you ‘disappeared’.” Ty spoke, his voice a welcome distraction from both her thoughts and her desires.

Apparently he didn’t intend to take things any further and she found herself feeling both disappointed and relieved at the same time. “Look around you. I’ve done okay.” More than okay, as her business proved.

But as she spoke, she realized this was the second time tonight she’d defended her small apartment and her life. For no good reason. Ty hadn’t belittled who and what she’d become. She wasn’t used to feeling defensive-usually, she was more than proud of all she’d accomplished.

Ty’s presence reminded her of the good and the bad things in her past and forced her to face how different her life had turned out than what she’d envisioned as a child. It wasn’t what her parents would have wanted, but given the reasons and the things she’d been through, Lacey felt sure they’d be proud, too. Which was just another reason Odd Jobs meant so much to her. It was something tangible she could point to that proved Lilly Dumont had survived.

Ty nodded. “You’ve done more than okay, but what I see now doesn’t tell me how you got here.”

She drew a deep breath. The past was something she preferred to keep there, but as her onetime coconspirator, Ty had a right to some answers. And just maybe, talking about it would help her release some of the pain she still held inside.

She glanced down at her intertwined hands, remembering the dark night with too much ease. “I walked for about half an hour and right outside of town, I met up with your friend. The one who’d stolen Uncle Marc’s car. We drove to a place far enough away where no one would recognize me. Then I took a bus to New York City.”

“Just like we planned.”

“Right.” But no one had planned beyond that. “I crashed on the bus and when we arrived, it was the next day. I had the small stash of money you and Hunter had given to me. I slept in a YWCA one night, a bus terminal another.”

He winced.

She ignored it and kept talking. “I washed dishes and I got by. Eventually I met someone who cleaned apartments. She worked for a Spanish woman who hired immigrant girls. By that time, my hands were rough enough from detergent and water, so somehow I convinced her I could handle the work. That pretty much saved my life because I’d run out of free or cheap places to sleep and it was getting harder and harder to duck the johns and pimps in the bus and train stations.”

“God, Lilly, I had no idea.”

The raw distress in his voice touched a place deep inside her. She didn’t want him holding himself responsible for something he hadn’t caused. He’d saved her life and she’d never forget.

He reached out and grabbed her hand. Ten years too late and yet it was exactly what she needed now.

“None of us did.” She curled her fingers around his, the warmth and strength giving her the motivation to continue. “But things got better after that. The woman who hired me-her name was Marina-let me sleep on the floor in her apartment until I found a dirt-cheap rental.”

“How bad was it?”

She hadn’t wanted to upset him but he’d asked. “The place came with company. There were cockroaches on the walls.” She tried not to gag on the vivid memory. “And a drunk lived next door. He liked to wander the halls in the dead of night. The locks on the apartment door didn’t work and the superintendent ignored my requests to fix it. I couldn’t afford to pay for a locksmith myself so I’d drag a dresser in front of the door at night for security.”

“God,” he said again. He ran a hand over his face.

She didn’t know what to say, so she remained quiet.

Finally he asked. “And what’s your life like now?”

A much easier topic, she thought, and smiled. “I run a business called Odd Jobs that caters to the working man or woman,” she said with pride in her voice. “I have about fifteen employees depending on the day and their moods. We walk dogs, clean apartments, food shop, whatever the busy person needs us to do. Over time I’ve accumulated a loyal clientele and I’ve been able to increase prices. Things are going pretty well.”

He grinned. “You’ve made an amazing climb.”

The way she’d seen it, she had no choice but to keep going.

“I admire you, you know.”

His words took her by surprise, but warmed her at the same time. Still, she wasn’t looking for his pity or admiration.

“I only did what I had to do to survive. What about you?” she asked Ty.

She wanted to know why he had dropped out of college when that had been his goal for so long. And what explained the difference in his tone when he’d spoken of his mother? The shift had been subtle, but she’d noticed it just the same. She wondered what had caused it.

“Ty? What happened to you and Hunter after I left?” she asked, curious to fill in those years.

“That’s a story for another day.” He glanced down and his eyes suddenly widened, as he realized he still clasped her hand in his.

She wished he’d pull her up and into a long, lingering kiss. The kind she used to dream about when she slept in his house, his room a few feet away. And later, the kind that kept her warm at night when she thought she’d go crazy from fear and loneliness.

Tonight wasn’t the first time she’d seen longing and desire in the depths of his eyes and it wasn’t the first time she’d allowed herself to let the present disappear. Just like before, when they were together, little else mattered.

“It’s late and we should get some sleep.” He rose from his seat, lifting his hand away from hers.

Disappointment clogged her throat even as she appreciated his hold on common sense. Obviously she had none. “You still like to call the shots, I see.”

He shrugged without apologizing for his controlling nature. “You have some big decisions to make and I’m sure sleep will help,” he said, his voice softening.

“I’ve already decided.” She nodded firmly, knowing she had no choice.

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re coming home?”

Swallowing hard, she nodded. “But I just can’t pick up and leave without settling some things here first.”

“The business?”

“Primarily. I need to get someone to run things until I get back.” Mentally, she’d already begun to make a list of people to call and things to do. “I also have neighbors that will worry. Friends and-” Alex, she thought, knowing he’d panic if she suddenly disappeared.

She knew she’d hate it if he just took off on her. They were beyond the dating stage. Way beyond. He wasn’t the first man she’d been intimate with but he was the only one she truly cared for. Yes, she realized something was missing and being with Ty, she knew the sizzling sexual attraction was just one part of their problem. Or at least a part of her problem, Lacey thought. Alex obviously had no such issues.

He also had no idea Lacey had a past that could someday come calling, disturbing her life and rousing compelling emotions she didn’t feel when she was with him, she thought, guiltily glancing at Ty.

“And what?” Ty asked, picking up on what she hadn’t said.

She shook her head. “Nothing. There are just people who’d miss me and be concerned.”

He let out a slow, patient groan. “I’m not dragging you out of here kicking and screaming. Take the time you need to get your things here in order. Then if you forget anyone, you can always call from the road.” He paused, his eyes narrowing. “Unless there’s someone important that you haven’t mentioned?”

“Such as?” She hedged, knowing the coming conversation was going to be difficult.

He massaged his forehead with his fingers. “Boyfriend or someone you need to check in with?” His words sounded brittle as he spoke.

She drew a deep breath. “As a matter of fact, there is someone.” Guilt immediately swamped her.

“I see,” he said stiffly.

She’d been living on her own for ten years and had no reason to feel as if she’d betrayed Ty by seeing someone else. Yet looking into Ty’s eyes, she did feel guilty. Terribly guilty.

“His name is Alex,” she said, forcing herself to admit the truth and hopefully keep the other man real to her in the process. “And I can’t just pick up and leave without getting in touch with him.”

Ty inclined his head, the motion curt. “Well, nobody’s stopping you from checking in with the important people in your life.”

She swallowed hard, the sense that she’d somehow hurt him filling her with intense pain. “Fine. We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”

Without answering, he strode past her and headed back to the couch. He lay down and Digger jumped on top of his legs, settling in.

“Hussy,” Lacey muttered to her pet as she walked back to her room and closed the door behind her.

She wasn’t comfortable with how she’d left things with Ty but then she wasn’t comfortable with the state of her life these days. It was a tough thing to admit, seeing as how she prided herself on survival and doing well. But she hated feeling unsettled and her inability to commit to Alex was but one symptom.

A few short hours with Ty and already she sensed the difference in her reactions to both men. She shivered, knowing in her heart that difference meant something important. And knowing, too, that her time in Hawken’s Cove would define exactly what.

Ten years ago, Lacey had left a life behind and hopped a bus for New York City with no idea what to expect there. Tomorrow she was about to go back to where it all began except this time, she knew exactly what awaited her. She tossed and turned for the rest of the night.

The only thing that kept her from changing her mind was her parents. If she didn’t go back, nothing would be left of her family and their legacy. Nothing good, anyway. She owed it to them to take control of what was rightfully hers. She owed it to herself to finally put the past behind her by facing it, not running away.

Even if that past included Ty.

TY AWOKE with Lilly’s ugly mutt stretched out on top of him and the sun streaming in through the open window blinds in Lilly’s apartment. He hadn’t slept well but who could blame him? Between his smelly couch mate and Lilly’s revelation that there was someone special in her life, sleep had eluded him.

It wasn’t like he’d expected her to become a nun. Hell he hadn’t been celibate, either. Nor had he come back to Lilly looking for a relationship of any kind. Yet when he thought of her with another guy, every protective instinct he possessed kicked into high gear. Those same instincts never took over when it came to other women, not even Gloria who he’d been sleeping with for the past few months. Yet those damn instincts were alive and well with Lilly, full-blown and making him crazy. Despite the fact that he had no right to feel anything at all.

He’d helped set her on the path to this new life, but she’d opted to stay in it. To not come home for the past ten years.To stay out of touch, secluded and alone. The best thing for everyone involved was to bring her home, let her handle her personal affairs and then allow her to return to New York City. To her boyfriend, her business, her life. Maybe in settling Lilly’s past, he’d find a way to settle his own and move on. Because if seeing her again proved anything, it was that he needed to put her behind him, this time for good.

He glanced toward her still closed bedroom door. Since he was up first, he showered and changed before letting himself think about his growling stomach.

He glanced down at the mutt who’d followed him loyally around Lilly’s apartment, going so far as to push open the bathroom door that wouldn’t lock and lick his damp legs when he’d stepped out of the shower. “I wish I could feed you, but I don’t know where your food is.”

“She needs to go out first,” Lilly said, stepping out of her bedroom fully dressed.

Ty cocked his head to one side. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I’ve been up since five. I showered and dressed before you dragged your lazy body out of bed at six-thirty.”

So she’d heard him puttering around out here. “Have you eaten?” he asked.

She shook her head. “You?”

“Not yet.”

“How about you come with me to walk Digger and we’ll pick up something to eat while we’re out?” she suggested.

“Sounds like a plan.”

She hooked Digger on a leash, grabbed a plastic bag from a kitchen drawer, and together they walked down the flights of stairs, onto the front stoop and out to the sidewalk. The sun was just rising over the tall buildings and a chill hovered in the air.

Digger didn’t seem to mind. She took off at a run, tempered by Lilly’s hold on the leash, pausing only when she’d reached a small patch of dirt and a lone tree.

Ty shook his head and laughed.

“What can I say? She’s a creature of habit,” Lilly said. “And this is her favorite spot.”

Once the dog had finished and Ty had taken the bag from Lilly to clean up and throw away, they took a more leisurely walk around the city. Everything was familiar to Lilly and she was familiar to most people they met. The kid at the Starbucks counter knew her by name as did the owner of the newsstand on the corner. Along the way, she pointed out some buildings where she worked and stopped to pet some dogs she knew from walking them during the week.

Ty had the distinct sense she wanted him to see her life, where and how she lived, firsthand. Now that he had, he knew for certain how well she’d done for herself and how content she was here in her city life.

He paused on the sidewalk. “So what made you decide to go back? What ultimately swayed you?” he asked.

She halted in her tracks beside him. “It’s not a simple one thing.” She bit the bottom of her lip. “As many reasons as I have not to go with you, I have at least as many reasons to go back.”

“Any chance you’ll share some of them?”

He tipped his head to one side, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hands. He wanted to get inside her head and understand what made her tick.

“You made most of the arguments yourself. I owe it to my parents not to let my uncle steal from them. I owe it to myself to stand up for what’s mine. Most of all, I guess I think facing him will give me closure.”

He nodded. “You never really put that part of your life to rest, have you?”

She shook her head. “I can’t forget that I turned a lot of people’s lives upside-down.”

Some of those people, like his mother, had helped set things in motion, Ty thought. It was such a complicated issue because by taking Lilly in, his mother had ultimately saved her life. It’d also given them blood money, he thought.

He glanced Lilly’s way. Her brows were furrowed in concern, her distress over the upset she’d caused obvious. He needed to reassure her that she’d done the right thing.

“Hey, those people cared about you. They did what they wanted to do. Nobody forced them and you have to admit, it was pretty amazing that we pulled it off.” He grinned, the adventurous thrill of that time coming back to him.

She burst out laughing. “Leave it to you to turn it into an exciting caper.”

He smiled grimly because up until the moment she’d walked out of his life, that’s exactly what it had been. LACEY NERVOUSLY FINGERED the locket she’d hidden beneath her shirt. She’d worn the small piece of jewelry around her neck, only taking it off when she showered for fear of it slipping down the drain and being lost to her forever. She hadn’t been wearing it last night because she’d just taken a long bath, but she’d placed the locket back around her neck this morning. She couldn’t explain her reasons beyond sentimentality, but the one thing Lacey knew, she always felt better once she was wearing it.

Today in particular. As she’d begun to make arrangements to leave town, it was as if the small piece of jewelry gave her the courage to resurrect Lilly.

She needed that courage more than she’d have thought. Lacey had never left the city before. She’d never left Odd Jobs in someone else’s hands unless she was too sick to work, something that was rare. Her days were defined by Odd Jobs and each client’s needs and schedule. She was about to go on the second biggest adventure of her life.

One she wouldn’t take without first making certain her business was in good hands until she returned. She chose Laura, one of her longtime employees, to be in charge. She provided the other woman with an updated list of clients, the schedule and some tips for dealing with their employees and their various personalities. She made the same list about each of her clients.

Then she’d taken care of the little things a vacation entailed, like asking her neighbor to take in her newspapers and check her mail, while letting her few friends know not to worry if they didn’t hear from her for a brief time.

She’d packed for herself and Ty had thrown a bag of dog food into his car for Digger. All typical things people did before taking a short trip, except nothing about Lacey’s situation could remotely be construed as normal.

Dreading the final phone call she’d have to make, she waited until the last minute to call and give Alex the news. While Ty watched television in the other room, Lacey dialed Alex’s apartment, a phone number she knew by heart.

“Duncan,” he said, answering the phone on the first ring.

“It’s me.” She gripped her fingers tight around the receiver.

“Hey, babe. How are you? I didn’t expect to hear from you until tonight,” he said, pleasure warming his voice.

She didn’t usually call him during the day because he was busy and she was rarely in one place for too long.

“I’m fine.” Lacey drew a deep breath that failed to calm her nerves. “Actually, that’s not true. I had a visitor last night. Someone from my hometown and I need to go back for a little while and settle some things. I know it’s last minute but I’m sure you understand.”

“I can’t say that I do because I don’t know a damn thing about your past, but hopefully you’ll fill me in on the details when you get back. Because keeping secrets isn’t good for a relationship and there’s too much I don’t know.” He cleared his throat. “And I can’t help you get past whatever’s keeping you from saying yes if you don’t open up.”

She swallowed hard. “I know. And I’ll tell you everything,” she promised. What better time to share her history than once she’d faced it down?

“Good.” He sounded relieved. “This visitor you mentioned. Is it anyone I know about?” he asked, obviously fishing for something before she left.

They both knew there wasn’t anybody she’d ever mentioned by name. “No. I never told you about-him.” She shut her eyes, hoping he wouldn’t ask for more of an explanation.

She’d never told Alex about Ty because her feelings for him were too close to her heart. Too personal to share with anyone, especially another man.

“A him you’ve never mentioned.” Alex’s voice dropped lower, taking on an angry tone she’d never heard before. “Is he anyone I need to worry about?” he bit out.

“No.” Lilly shook her suddenly pounding head. “Nobody you need to concern yourself with. He’s just an old friend.” She knew in her heart that last statement was a bald-faced lie.

She was worried about Ty and her renewed feelings. But how could she say that to Alex over the phone and then take off on him?

Lacey glanced up and saw Ty waiting in the doorway. Nausea swept through her as she realized what he’d overheard. In one day, her life had become overwhelmingly complicated.

He held up a hand and she covered the phone.

“The car’s illegally parked out front,” he reminded her.

She nodded. “I’ll be off in a sec.”

Ty turned and walked out, leaving her with his dark, hurt expression in her mind.

“Lacey?” Alex called for her attention, his irritation clear.

“Yes. I’m here.”

“When you come home, we’ll go to Nick’s,” he said of his favorite Italian restaurant. “And then maybe we’ll check out Peaches,” he said of his sister’s dessert place in the Village.

“That sounds…nice.” A bland word, she thought but it described how she was feeling-in direct contrast to the anticipation she felt about climbing into Ty’s car and heading on an adventure with him by her side.

Oh God.

“Alex?”

“What, babe?”

She didn’t want to leave him with the wrong impression and yet she didn’t know what the right one would be. “When I get home, we’ll talk. About a lot of things.”

It was the best she could offer. For now.