Crowned: The Palace Nanny

CHAPTER TWELVE

ON A sun-kissed afternoon in early November the Crowns of Khryseis were bestowed on Zoe and on Stefanos.

Crown Princess Zoe of Khryseis was seated on a throne too large for her. Her dress was pure fantasy. She looked adorable. She looked very, very scared.

Only the fact that her cousin was standing right beside her gave her the courage to stay. Stefanos, Prince Regent of Khryseis, the Isle of Gold, had vowed to defend his little cousin, care for her and cherish her and take care of her interests until she reached twenty-five years of age.

Stefanos looked magnificent. Zoe looked exquisite.

Elsa was looking not too bad herself, she conceded, thinking what a waste, why spend all this money on her fabulous gown if her nose was about to turn red? But she was fighting tears, and Crown Princess Lily of Sappheiros glanced sideways at her and smiled and passed over a handkerchief.

‘This is dumb,’ Elsa whispered, embarrassed. ‘I shouldn’t be here in the front row with you. I’m not even royalty.’

‘Hey, I’ve only been royalty for a couple of months now,’ Lily said. ‘And, from what I’ve heard, you’re even closer to Zoe than Stefanos.’

Elsa sniffed. The Archbishop was watching Stefanos sign before his little cousin now. It looked so official. It looked like another world.

She could have been up there. Beaming and waving and being royal too. As Stefanos’s wife.

Her reasons for refusing him were sounding weaker and weaker. It was just as well he hadn’t proposed again, she thought. Any pressure and she might well cave right in.

‘He’s gorgeous,’ Lily whispered thoughtfully, watching Elsa’s face.

‘He is.’ She looked dubiously at the handkerchief. ‘I need to blow my nose.’

‘Go right ahead,’ Lily said grandly. ‘I came supplied with hankies in bulk. They’re monogrammed with the royal crest.’

Elsa nearly dropped it. Lily giggled and suddenly Elsa was smiling again, albeit through tears. What was royalty but individuals doing the best they could? The vows that Zoe and Stefanos had just made…They weren’t taking them away from her. Or no further than they already were. And she was right not to join them. Her doubts still stood.

The signing was done. The orchestra was starting its triumphant chorus, a blaze of sound proclaiming that Khryseis finally had its own royal family.

Stefanos helped Zoe to her feet. Zoe stood, looking out nervously at the vast audience in front of her.

Stefanos held her hand, stooped and whispered to her.

Zoe stared up at him, then out at the people in front of her. And then, at a signal from Stefanos, the music suddenly died.

Zoe took a deep breath. She turned back to Stefanos, as if for approval of something prearranged, and she looked straight at Elsa.

‘I need my Elsa,’ she said in a high, clear voice. ‘Elsa, can you come up and walk beside me?’

‘Quick, blow,’ Lily muttered urgently. ‘And your nose isn’t even red. You’re beautiful.’

He walked out of the cathedral behind them. Zoe and Elsa. His little cousin and her beautiful guardian.

Elsa’s eyes were looking distinctly watery. He wasn’t surprised. His eyes were feeling distinctly watery too.

Elsa should be walking by his side. It felt wrong.

He’d rushed it. He’d pushed her too hard, too fast, ripping her out of her comfort zone, asking the world of her and then asking her to extend that world.

Zoe was happy again. She’d been coached with care and kindness, and she knew exactly what was expected of her today. Elsa had raised her beautifully, he thought. When she’d spoken her responses it had been with the gravity of one twice her age. So much of that was down to Elsa’s care, her constant assurances that Zoe was beautiful, that the scars and the pain were only skin deep and what was underneath was beauty and joy.

If he’d got it right he could have been walking down the aisle with Elsa, with Zoe between them.

He’d messed it up-badly.

But he had time, he thought. He could try again.

Only Elsa was right. His doubts about what he was doing were still there.

Khryseis needed him.

His work in Manhattan was still calling.

Elsa had the courage to change direction and move steadily forward. He kept glancing back.

Elsa knew him better than he knew himself. And, knowing him, she had the sense not to want to be his wife.

‘Isn’t Stefanos beautiful?’ Zoe was so close to sleep she could barely form words, but she’d stayed until the last speech had been made, she’d sat attentive and courteous, and Elsa was so proud of her she was close to bursting. But now she’d retired to Elsa’s knee for a hug, the hug had turned into a cradling cuddle and it was clear the little girl just wanted to drift off to sleep.

They were watching Stefanos say farewell to the dignitaries. Stefanos as they’d first seen him, only grander.

‘I don’t have to be scared of being a princess when he’s here,’ Zoe whispered. ‘I wish he wasn’t going away.’

‘Me, too,’ Elsa whispered. For what the heck; there was no point in lying, not even to herself.

‘Do you think he’ll come and live with you and me for ever and ever?’

‘He’s said he will. Maybe not with us but near us.’

‘That’s good,’ Zoe whispered, her whisper fading so that Elsa could hardly hear. ‘But I’ll miss him and miss him. And so will Buster.’

‘And so will I,’ Elsa told her and watched her close her eyes and drift off into sleep. ‘I think I might miss him so much I might have to think about changing direction all over again.’

Only of course there was no time for direction changing. No opportunity. No chance.

A call came through that night. Stefanos needed to be in New York within twenty-four hours.

There were so many things to do, documents to sign, authority to delegate…He moved as fast as he could. Elsa woke at dawn to a light tap on her door and it was Stefanos, come to say goodbye.

She stood at her bedroom door in her lovely new lingerie, feeling shocked, bereft and stupidly frightened.

‘You will come back?’ she murmured. She must have sounded needy for Stefanos took her hands in his and tugged her into his arms before she could resist.

‘Of course I’ll be back. I’ll be here by Christmas.’

He was as she loved him most, in his casual jeans, an old leather jacket slung over his shoulder, unshaven, a man in a hurry. ‘Hell, Elsa, I wish I didn’t have to go. But these kids…I can’t knock them back.’

‘I so wish you could work from here.’

‘And we both know that I can’t.’

‘Of course.’ The population of Khryseis could never support the medical facilities this man needed.

‘You’ll keep Zoe safe. And our turtles. And Buster.’

‘I promise.’

‘Christmas in Australia’s hot, isn’t it?’ he said. ‘You think we can do an Australian Christmas dinner?’

‘Amy’s Christmas Cake,’ she said before she thought about it.

‘Amy’s cake?’

This was crazy. Standing in her bare feet, talking to a man she loved with all her heart about her best friend’s cake.

‘It’s a berry ice cream cake,’ she said. ‘Amy was so proud of it-it was a tradition started by the women in her family who couldn’t bear a hot Christmas pudding. She’d start a month before Christmas, finding berries, then building layer upon layer of berry ice cream, each layer a different flavour. By Christmas we might have ten layers. Then we’d turn it out and decorate it with more berries. She’d make a berry coulis to pour over. It was so big sometimes it’d last until well into January.’

‘So you make it every year?’

‘Not…’ She hesitated. ‘Not since Amy died. Berries are expensive.’

‘I see,’ he said gravely and took her hands in his. ‘Then here’s my royal decree. You use the royal card again to buy as many berries as you need-import them, grow them-whatever you have to do to get them, you get them, and make us Amy’s Christmas Cake. And we’ll eat it well into January.’ He was smiling into her eyes and his smile might as well be a kiss. And…she felt like crying.

‘Is there anything you want me to bring from New York?’ he said, maybe seeing her need to be practical, to get over the emotion. As if she could.

‘Come home via Australia and bring me my cats,’ she said, trying desperately to joke. ‘I miss them.’

‘It’s a bit of a detour.’

‘You’re the Prince Regent.’

‘So I am,’ he said and smiled his crooked, heart-flipping smile, then stood looking down at her for a long, long moment as his smile faded. A door slammed below stairs, someone called to him and he swore.

‘I have to go. Will you say goodbye to Zoe for me? I can’t wake her yet.’

‘Of course I will. Travel safe.’ She smiled. ‘I was teasing about the cats.’

‘I know you were.’ He gave an almost imperceptible nod, as though her cats and his safety were inconsequential. As if there was something more important he’d decided to say. ‘Elsa…’

‘Just go.’

‘I will,’ he said, but instead he tugged her close and she had neither strength nor will to resist. He pulled her tight into his arms, against his chest, and he kissed her, hard and long and aching with need.

And then he put her away from him.

‘G…go,’ she managed.

‘I love you,’ he said, loudly and strongly into the morning.

But still he turned. And he went.

She wanted to sob. Or maybe something louder. She’d actually quite like to stomp a bit. Toss the odd pillow.

Yell.

But Zoe and Buster were fast asleep. She should be, too. What else was she to do?

She needn’t worry about breakfast. It would be on the table in a couple of hours, a choice of eight or so dishes, eat what you like and certainly don’t worry about the cost.

She was Zoe’s friend and guardian, only Zoe already had a friend. After Christmas Zoe would try the little school that stood just by the castle gates. What was a woman to do then?

Research her turtles and don’t deviate. Become a world authority. Stay facing in the one direction…

Hope Stefanos could find a direction too, one that could fulfil his dreams, and hope with everything in her heart that his direction matched hers.

She loved him.

There wasn’t a lot she could do about it. Flying out of the door wailing, Wait for me, wait for me, would hardly be appropriate or sensible or even possible.

So… Go back to sleep until it’s time for the royal day to begin.

Start making Amy’s Christmas Cake.

Wait for her prince to come home.

It was a direct flight from Athens to New York. The details of his surgical list had been faxed through to him so he had a mass of reading to do on the way. He leafed through the first case and then the second-and then found himself staring sightlessly ahead. Superimposed on the printed pages was the vision of Elsa’s tousled curls, her bare feet, as she’d opened the door to say goodbye.

More than anything else he’d wanted to sweep her into his arms, take her back to her bed and stay with her for ever and ever and ever.

She’d knocked back his proposal of marriage. He was trying to understand her reasons.

He’d spoken too early. One night in Athens hadn’t been enough. Her hip had been hurting. He needed to have her healed and then take her away properly-a weekend in Paris, maybe. Or a month in Paris.

Or New York? There was his dream. Manhattan and Elsa. Or…more, he thought. Manhattan and Elsa and Zoe and Buster. His family-something he’d never thought he wanted, but now he had such a hunger for that he couldn’t see past it.

But…He had to stay in Khryseis.

And that was the problem, he thought. Elsa knew better than he did that marriage to her would make things better for him. But she’d knocked back his proposal. He had to make things better himself.

‘Excuse me, but are you Prince Stefanos of Khryseis?’

The man in the next seat had been glancing at him covertly since take-off. Small, a bit unkempt, wearing half-rimmed glasses and the air of a scholar, he’d been reading notes that looked even more dense than those Stefanos had been studying.

‘I am,’ Stefanos said warily, because admitting to being royalty was usually asking for trouble.

‘So you’re the one who seduced our Dr Elsa from her studies.’

‘Pardon?’ What the hell…? This man looked angry.

‘She’s brilliant,’ the man said, ignoring Stefanos’s incredulity. ‘She has one of the most brilliant scientific minds in Australia. In the world. She and that husband of hers…the research they did on the preservation of the Great Barrier Reef was groundbreaking. If she’d kept it up it could have made her a professor in any of the most prestigious universities in the world. And then she just hands it over. Hands it over!’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Stefanos said.

‘Her work,’ the man said impatiently, and then suddenly seemed to remember his manners. ‘David Hemming,’ he said. ‘Professor of Marine Studies at…Well, never mind, it doesn’t matter. All I know is that I’ve never seen such a generous act. She had all the research done. All the hard work. She was just starting to see the academic rewards and suddenly a letter arrives out of the blue saying she can no longer go on with her studies but she doesn’t want her research wasted so here it is, take it and publish as you see fit, just take it forward. Well, I tell you there’s at least eight international experts now who are international experts only because of Dr Langham’s generosity.’

‘Dr Langham?’

‘We could never find her,’ he said morosely. ‘Only then we started hearing about starfish research-really interesting stuff-and dammit, there she was, only she was calling herself Elsa Murdoch. But, just as we were finding out what she was doing, dammit if she didn’t do exactly the same again. Package it all up and pass it on. No honours for her. Just good, solid research that’ll mean species will survive that were otherwise facing extinction. And now…’

He’d been building up indignation, incense personified, and Stefanos got poked in the chest with a pencil. ‘And now she’s off again. But at least it’s turtles this time. Kemp’s Ridley, by what I hear, and you couldn’t get a better woman working on them. You know what? She sees the big picture. Already she’s contacting international institutions, trying to broaden our understanding. If she’s found this breeding site there must be more. She’ll use that to make them safe.’

‘How…?’

‘Pure energy,’ he said, stabbing Stefanos again. ‘Only don’t you let her give her work away this time. If she settles-if she’s allowed to settle-then I’m guaranteeing those blessed turtles will be safe for a thousand years, such is the commitment she generates. So you might have seduced her to your island but you make sure she stays. Or I and half the marine academics in the world will want to know why not.’

And, with a final poke in the chest, he retired back to his notes.

Leaving Stefanos winded.

Stunned.

The vision of Elsa as he’d last seen her was still with him-beautiful, almost ethereal, a freckled imp with her glorious sun-blonded curls. With her face creasing from laughter to gravity, from teasing to earnestness, from joy to…love?

To loss.

If he’d met her when she was twenty, when life was simple, when she was free to fall in love, then maybe he’d have stood a chance. He knew that. For he’d looked into her eyes and what he saw there was a reflection of what he believed himself. That she was falling in love with him as deeply as he was falling in love with her.

Only life had got complicated. He’d thought it was complicated for him. How much more complicated was it for her?

She’d buried a husband. She’d said goodbye to two careers. She’d taken on a child so injured that she’d needed almost a hundred per cent commitment, and that at a time when Elsa was injured herself.

And along came Prince Stefanos, grudgingly changing direction this once. Hating the idea that he’d be handing over his work, his teaching, his skills, watching others take his work forward while he ceased to be able to contribute.

She knew his commitment was grudging. She had so much generosity of spirit herself that she must know it.

He’d enjoy family medicine, he thought, and doing everything else he could to help Khryseis, as a doctor and as the island’s Prince Regent. He must. He’d immerse himself into it all, convince Elsa that he was content.

Only she knew him. He couldn’t lie to her. And it wasn’t entirely the work he wanted to do.

Khryseis wasn’t big enough for the medical work he wanted to do.

But…

For some reason, the academic’s words stuck. Hit a chord.

You know what? She sees the big picture.

Khryseis was one of three islands. Put together…

He needed to concentrate on these cases. He’d be operating hours after landing. He needed to read his notes.

But there were things happening in his head apart from his most pressing concerns. Major things.

The image came to him of the night he’d held the three tiny turtle hatchlings in his hand.

I guess, if they walked far enough, the ocean is that-a-way, he’d said.

Yeah, but changing direction’s easier, she’d whispered. I ought to know.

Could he somehow change direction but get to the same place by another route?

There wasn’t time to think this through now. Those kids were lined up waiting for him. But he had six weeks to think.

How much did he want Elsa?

And Zoe. And Khryseis. And turtles and cats and Amy’s Christmas Cake which, for some weird reason, was becoming a really big thing to look forward to.

How much did he want them all?

He lifted his third set of case notes and tried to read.

But all he saw was Elsa.