Cynful

Chapter Eleven

They pulled up outside Julian’s house that evening in silence. Cyn was startled to find her hands were shaking. She was so not ready for this.

“It will be all right, Cyn.”

His deep voice washed over her, attempted to soothe her, but there was no calming her. She was getting something she’d been begging for these last few weeks, and now that it was finally happening her damn nerves were getting the better of her. She lifted her chin, determined not to let Julian see how anxious she was. “Sure it will.”

Julian shook his head and got out of the car. Cyn followed him at a slower pace up the walkway and through the front door. “Are we going to eat before we start? I’m starving.”

“No.” He hung his jacket up and took hers, placing it beside his own with an odd air of satisfaction. “You might puke it back up.”

“Funny. None of the ladies mentioned puking as a side effect of the bite.”

He grinned and led her into the living room. “That’s because none of them were Kermode.”

“Lovely.” She took a seat on his sofa and glared at him. “So other ladies get mind blowing orgasms. I get to blow chunks.”

The darkly sensual look he shot her should have melted her on the spot. “Oh, you’ll get the orgasm. Trust me on that one.” Julian settled next to her, far too close for her peace of mind. “But there are…side effects that occur when a Kermode attempts to change a human.”

Her brows shot up. “Attempts?”

He sighed and tugged on his braid, a sure sign he wasn’t as comfortable talking about this as he appeared to be on the surface. “I’m not allowed to go in to too much detail about what happens after the mating bite.” He dropped his braid and took hold of her hand. “The absolute worst that could happen is you’ll wake up unchanged and puking.”

“The best?”

He kissed her palm. “You’ll be like me.”

She was still shaking. At least he wasn’t trying to hide anything from her. “I thought the change was sort of a done deal once you sank fang into flesh.”

“Not for Kermode.”

“Because you’re special.”

“Yup. There are prices we pay to be what we are. Only a few learn what that means. Our mates are some of those few.”

“Wait. Did I say we were mating tonight?”

That feral light was back in his eyes, the silver sparks widening until his irises were completely gray. A broad streak of white grew in his hair. “Yes.”

The shaking got worse. She was so not ready for this. But what else could she do? “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

“You’re such a romantic.” He stole a soft kiss. “Are you ready?”

Suddenly she couldn’t sit still a second longer. She hopped up and began to pace like a caged tiger. “No. I’m not ready, damn it.” She pulled her hair, hoping the pain would help her focus. “Shit. I’m tying my life force to yours for what, eternity? And we haven’t even gotten past first base.”

“I could remedy that before I bite you. Hell, I’m willing and able. Very able.”

She whirled on him and pointed. “Favorite color.”

“Lately? Pink. Used to be blue.”

She flushed but refused to allow his response to throw her. He was staring at her hair again, his fingers twitching like he wanted to touch the pink, blonde and black strands. “Favorite food?”

“Blueberry muffins.”

“Your—”

“Gemini, hockey, yellow gold, anything written by Joss Whedon, The Wheel of Time series and Jessica Alba.” One eyebrow rose arrogantly. “Anything else?”

Her finger dropped. “You like the Wheel of Time books?”

“You don’t?”

She shuddered.

“Oh. Well, let’s just forget the whole thing then.” He propped his hands on his hips. “And here I thought Jessica would be the deal-breaker.”

“You’re a Gemini. That alone is enough to make me think twice. You people are schizo.”

“Says the fiery, temperamental Aries. At least you’ll keep me on my toes, right?”

“Which set, oh Gemini? Good twin’s or evil twin’s?”

“Both.” Julian was stalking her around the room, his eyes intent, silver-flecked. She didn’t even realize she’d begun backing away from him until she banged into his coffee table. “I can smell you. Your need calls to me. I bet you’re ripe for me, all plump and juicy.”

Cyn stopped retreating. “You make me sound like a Ball Park Frank.”

Some of the feral need on Julian’s face dissipated, his quirky sense of humor coming to the fore. “Not quite the imagery I was going for. I’m not that in to wieners.”

“So you are into wieners, then?”

“NO! Gah. No.” Julian shuddered. “Not… Shit. Can I just bite you now?”

She took a deep breath and a flying leap of faith. “Thought you’d never ask.”

Julian didn’t pounce the way she thought he would, taking her down like a wounded deer. Instead, he reached out and cradled her neck in his hand. “This might sting a bit. If it does, I’m sorry.”

She smiled and hoped it wasn’t showing just how shaky she was. “Just do it already.”

His eyes turned pure silver, filled with desire. He bent down and nibbled her neck, sending shivers down her spine. “You smell so good.”

Cyn shuddered as his lips brushed against her skin. She wrapped her arms around his waist and tilted her head, giving him better access. Julian touched her in ways no other man ever had. She was still trying to figure out what magic he wielded to make her feel like this, like she couldn’t decide whether to ravish him or run.

Then his teeth scrapped against her skin and the decision was made. That just felt too damn good to run away from.

“Mine,” he whispered. Before she could protest, his fangs sank into her.

Cyn cried out as the best orgasm she’d ever fucking had tore through her. Her legs trembled, barely holding her up. She clung to him as the pleasure went on and on.

Oh, hell yes. This really is the Big O.

The unbelievable taste of his mate filled his senses. Cyn shuddered in his arms and groaned. The knowledge that she was finally, finally his sank into him. No one could take her from him now. Even in death, he would follow where she led.

He was hers.

He carefully pulled his teeth from her skin, licking the wounds closed. He picked her up, her shuddering driving him nearly insane with want. He carted her off to his bedroom, hoping against hope she wouldn’t protest what he needed to do next.

Those gorgeous eyes of hers opened as he settled her on the bed. “Julian?”

The husky, needy sound of her voice nearly ended things before they began. Julian had never come in his jeans before, but just the sound of her voice post-orgasm was enough to almost send him over the edge. He bent and took her mouth, not at all surprised when she tried to take over the kiss.

He smiled, his lips still on hers. There’s my girl.

Her hands tugged on his shirt. “Naked.”

“Hmm?” He pushed the edge of her shirt up, sighing happily at the expanse of golden skin. God, she had a belly button ring! How come he’d never seen that before? The pretty little bit of gold dangling from her belly button was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen.

“Now, Julian.”

He blinked. “Now, Julian, what?”

She huffed out a frustrated breath. “Why is it that when I want you to get naked you’re not, but when I don’t want you to—mmph!”

He didn’t hear the rest of what she wanted to say. Her shirt was blocking her face, after all. Julian had her clothes off her so fast a Cheetah would have missed it. Then he was kissing her again, tugging at his own clothes in a frenzy to get his skin against her skin. He barely got his jeans down to his knees when her legs wrapped around his waist and he was flipped onto his back.

He stared up at her, startled. How the hell…?

She grinned down at him and took his painfully erect cock in her hands. “Too slow!”

And then she was sliding down him, gripping him inside her, and it no longer mattered that he was too slow, or that his jeans were around his knees. His mate was riding him, her breasts bouncing, her face pinched in a way that told him she was riding the thin edge of her own orgasm.

Damn, she had the prettiest breasts he’d ever seen. He cupped them, thumbing her nipples into hard little points, grunting when she tightened around him. He let her set the pace, watching the way she took him. This first time, for him at least, had to be all about her. Whatever she needed, however she wanted to love him, he’d accept.

But later, it would be his turn.

Soft sighs, the creak of the bedframe and the slap of flesh against flesh filled the room. Cyn’s eyes were unfocused as she chased her orgasm, her hips snapping faster and faster. She clenched his shoulders, the small bite of pain barely registering as his spine began to tingle.

Julian grabbed and pulled her down, kissing her savagely as his body erupted. She cried out into his mouth, spasming around his cock as her orgasm took her.

Julian softened the kiss as they both came down from their high, breathing her in as she panted above him. Finally she tried to pull away, only getting as far as the end of his nose. He refused to allow her any further away.

“Wow.”

Julian grinned in sleepy satisfaction. “Yeah.”

She chuckled. “You’re still wearing your boots, cowboy.”

“Yup,” he sighed, happier than he could ever remember being.

Cyn shook her head, but couldn’t hide the small smile curling the edges of her mouth. “Next time we need you completely naked.”

He hugged her tight, ignoring her squawk of surprise. “Yeah, we do.”

She shook her head, but allowed him to keep her close. He breathed in her scent, and decided that today had to be the best fucking day ever.

This had to be the worst fucking day ever. Cyn walked along the rocky dirt path and wondered what the fuck was going on. She’d thought she was dreaming at first. After the incredible sex she’d had with Julian, she’d pretty much passed out.

Then she’d stepped on a sharp stone and the pain had been excruciating. She was even bleeding. She’d never done that in a dream before.

“Freaky ass Kermode. Super Bear my butt.” She glared at the scrub on either side of the path. “If I see even one dead person I am so out of here!” She blew her bangs and renewed her embarrassingly naked march down the road, hobbled by her bloodied foot. “Guess what, Cyn? There are a few things I forgot to tell you. For instance, when I bite you I’ll chuck your soul into the middle of a B horror movie. Enjoy!” She clenched her hands. “He is in so much trouble when I get back.”

She wandered down the road for what seemed like hours. The one time she even considered going back, she rejected it immediately. Every instinct she had declared that if she did turn back, what she sought could never be found again. She had to go forward. She had to succeed if she was going to protect those she loved, even the stupid Bear who’d done this to her.

Eventually the road forked, but that wasn’t what surprised her. What did was the simple glass sitting right at the juncture, half full of what appeared to be water. Cyn stared at it. “The glass is half full, huh?”

Fuck it. She was thirsty. She shrugged, sniffed it to make sure it really was water, picked it up and drank it, then carefully placed the glass right back where she’d found it.

She took a deep breath and studied the two paths. One seemed similar to the one she was already on, rocky and dirty with the occasional scraggly tree to add some visual interest. Bland, sort of boring, in no way like the other path.

The other path, if you could even call it that, appeared chock full of thorn bushes and sharp rocks. Even the air down that path appeared different, full of menace.

“Gee, Captain Obvious. I wonder which path I should take.” She’d been a fearless adventurer in her Dungeons & Dragons days. She was pretty sure she could guess where this little side trip was going. She gritted her teeth and covered her boobs with her hands. There were some places she really didn’t want scratched all to hell and gone, thank you very much.

The moment she set her foot on the dark path, she realized she’d made the right choice. “OW! Mother puss-bucket!”

After an eternity of painful steps, her flesh gouged in places that would make sitting down very difficult, the path finally opened up. Blue skies and a meadow full of wildflowers greeted her weary gaze. In the middle of that meadow a child knelt, crying. Over her stood a man, his hands at his sides, his expression pinched. The child cringed as the man raised his voice, his words muffled by the distance between them. He raised his fist into the air and shook it.

Cyn’s eyes narrowed. That man was bullying the child. Without even having to think about it she reached behind her and grabbed hold of a thorny branch, breaking it off the bush. She darted in front of the child and held the branch in front of her like a sword. “Hold it! Leave the girl alone.”

The man’s searing white eyes burned into hers. “You do not believe I justly chastise her?”

Cyn shifted her stance, ready to defend the girl. “It’s possible. But if I’m wrong, you’ll have hurt her, and I can’t allow that.”

“What if she were the danger, and not I? An innocent face can hide a monster just as easily as an ugly one.”

Cyn shook her head, certain of one thing. “Her posture. She was down, kneeling. Defenseless. Her hands were on her face, so unless she’s got daggers up her nose I don’t think she was hiding a weapon.”

“So you put your back to her, hoping I was the threat.”

“No. To protect a child.” She waved the stick at him. “Are we done with twenty questions now? I have places to be.” Bear butt to kick.

The man smiled, his teeth blindingly white, and held out his hand. The child took it, using her free one to wipe away her tears. “Look behind you. The path continues on. Know that the one you have set your feet upon will be difficult, but I believe it suits you.”

The man and the child both smiled at her and disappeared.

She turned and stared at the path. It was remarkably similar to the one she’d just left. “Peachy.”

God, part of her just wanted to lay down in the meadow and sleep, but she couldn’t. Again, if she faltered here the elusive something she needed would be lost. She had the feeling she would wake up in the real world, puking and completely human.

There was no real choice to make. Cyn put her foot on the path and cursed at the top of her lungs in both English and Spanish.

Hours, perhaps a day, passed, as more of Cyn’s skin was stripped away by the thorns. She was bleeding so badly now that if it hadn’t been a dream she was sure she would have died from the wounds. She ignored the few side paths that opened up to her, her only goal to move forward. Sheer determination kept her on her feet when she should have faltered.

The path opened before her and she sighed in relief. Too much more and she would have gone down, willing or not.

Her bare, bleeding feet met stone and she gasped. The feel of the cool stone was a balm to her sore soles. She wiggled her toes, almost wishing it were grass instead of stone.

When she was able to focus again, she almost sobbed. There, on a pedestal, was a shield, a sword, a set of leather biker gear, complete with boots, and the kind of staff she’d seen martial artists use.

“Gee. I wonder which one I should pick up.” She rolled her eyes and limped to the pedestal, the thorny branch she’d been clutching this entire time falling with a clatter to the ground. She sighed over the leather clothes, because, damn those were pretty. Too bad she couldn’t take more than one item. It was weird, the certainty she had that the moment she made her choice, all the other objects would disappear.

She reached for the staff as soon as it was within reach. As nice as the clothes were, all they would do was cover her nudity and protect her skin. That wouldn’t be enough, not against a shifter. The shield would keep her from being damaged, but that was all. She supposed she could ram someone with it, but she risked having it taken from her if she did. The sword was designed solely to do harm, with very little defense unless you were a professional fencer. Something Cyn definitely was not.

The staff, on the other hand… The staff could be both weapon and shield, and was just what she needed.

The clearing disappeared in a brilliant flash of light as the staff practically leapt into her hands. When she blinked her vision clear she found herself at the top of a cliff, overlooking a rocky sea. All of her wounds were healed, but she was still covered in her own gore.

Obstructing her view was a very large, very white bear.

Cyn clutched her staff. If this was the final test, she was in big trouble. “Hi.”

The bear snorted as if amused.

Right. “So. I’m here. Now what?”

The bear stared at her.

She leaned on the staff and stared right back.

The bear’s nose wrinkled ever so slightly. She would have missed it if she hadn’t been staring so hard.

Cyn lifted her foot and scratched the itchy, healed wound on the bottom.

The bear just sat there, blinking, as if it had all day to wait. If only she could figure out what it was waiting for, then they’d be golden.

“You want me to find you some honey? A cookie? Maybe a small, furry animal? You could hug it and love it and call it George.” She scratched at some of the dried blood on her stomach. “I could really use a shower.”

Water drenched her from a little black cloud that appeared over her head. She pushed her soaked hair out of her eyes and glared at the bear. “You’re funny. I should call you Baloo.”

The bear’s left shoulder twitched. She was willing to bet tomorrow’s lunch that it was laughing at her.

Julian grimaced as Cyn twisted painfully beneath the sheets. Shit. This wasn’t going at all the way he’d expected. She was reacting as if she was in pain, her body shuddering and sweating. His hands itched to heal a wound that wasn’t there. For the first time in his life Julian battled his Bear. There was nothing he could do for his mate. She was on her own.

A low moan drifted from her lips and his Bear turned frantic, striving to break through Julian’s control, to heal the damage that had to be there.

Shit. What the hell had Cyn done now?

“Thirty-six bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-six bottles of beer,” Cyn sang under her breath. She was lying on her back, staring at the clouds drifting lazily overhead. Her hair was almost dry, and she’d gotten most of the blood off her skin.

At her feet was the white bear. It still sat there, unmoving. Staring. It no longer creeped her out. Now it just…bored her.

“Julian is much quieter when he comes to visit me.”

Damn. I still had thirty-five bottles to go. “I bet. Super Bear isn’t much of a talker.” She leaned up on her elbows and blew her bangs out of her eyes. “Okay, that’s wrong. He talks, it just takes a while to get anything out of him that means something.”

The bear huffed out something that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

“See? You get what I’m talking about.”

“Yes. I understand more than you think.” The bear lumbered to its feet, its massive head hovering over her. Suddenly Cyn didn’t feel so much like a warrior as a late-night Taco Bell snack. “There are many things in store for you, Cynthia Reyes-DuCharme, and not all of them will be pleasant.”

Big bear head in the way or not, Cyn was on her feet, the staff in her hand, before the bear could blink. “Is Julian in danger?”

The bear was looking at her with approval. “Yes.”

Her heart stuttered. “Shit. I knew it.”

“So you did.” The bear’s head lifted; it sniffed the wind. “Change is coming, whether it is wanted or not. Two becomes one, one becomes three. Bear knows the way, but Fox holds the key.” Its eyes focused on her again. “Guard my child well, warrior. He will need you in the days to come.”

She nodded. Guarding Julian was a given. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“It is not permitted for me to tell more than I have. There are decisions that must be made on your own, decisions that will influence those that others will make. Your strength and courage will take you far, but do not dismiss what your heart tells you.”

“I’ll try.” It was the best she could offer.

“You will.” The bear began to glow. “It is time for you to return. Your mate is frantic with worry. He fights his Bear, fearing you are injured.”

Suddenly it all made sense. She’d heard Julian discuss Bear as a person rather than some amorphous concept. “Wait. You’re—”

She was hurtled into the darkness, her question unasked and unanswered.