Darker Days

Chapter Thirteen

Mom and Dad had gone to bed hours ago. I didn’t even want to think about what they were doing up there.

It was going on three-thirty and I’d given up on sleep. I was beyond beat—hell I couldn’t even remember coming downstairs—and I was hoping a cup of cocoa would help, because really, there wasn’t much a cup of cocoa wouldn’t help.

“Where’d you come from?”

I jumped, sending the milk to the ground. It bounced once then poured out across the tile floor in a sea of pure white.

“Three a.m. is not the time for the birds and bees lesson,” I grumbled, snatching the nearly empty container from the floor.

Lukas must have been oblivious to my now craptastic mood, because he kept talking. “Can’t sleep?”

“No,” I mumbled, shaking the container. “Probably can’t have hot cocoa now, either, thanks to you.”

“I’m glad actually.”

I grabbed the paper towels from the counter and began mopping up the mess before the urge to hit him won out. “You’re glad I can’t sleep? Or that I can’t have cocoa? ’Cause either way, not the way to win me over—I like sleep and love chocolate.”

“I was hoping for some company.”

I gave an inward groan. Perfect. Be more of a bitch, Jessie. “What about you? Can’t sleep?”

“No,” he said, dropping to his knees beside me.

I shook the carton of milk again. Might be just enough left. “Hot cocoa?”

“Never had it.”

Never had it? That was a crime! I forced a smile and climbed to my feet. “Well, then you’re in for it. Hot cocoa and Beethoven—two things I love about life.”

A grin spread across his face. He folded his arms. “Ludwig van Beethoven? Really?”

I split the remainder of the milk between two mugs, stirred in the cocoa mix and set the microwave timer. “A fan?”

“The man was a musical genius.”

I slammed the spoon down. The guy was annoying as hell, but at least he had good taste in tunes. “A-frigging-men!”

He stood. “Beethoven was a bit before my time, how do you know of him?”

“His work is kinda timeless. Still popular today with a select crowd.”

And stupid doorbell companies…

His grin went from ear to ear. I couldn’t help thinking he should smile more often. It lit up his entire face. “I have to say, this surprises me about you.”

“I strike you more as a death metal type, eh?”

“Death metal?”

The microwave dinged. “Never mind.” I pulled out one of the steaming cups and handed it to him. The tips of his fingers skimmed the top of my hand, and we both froze. Butterflies raged in the pit of my stomach, and that warm-all-over feeling I’d felt when he caught me from falling outside Flankman’s returned—with a vengeance.

“Let’s go sit,” I said, taking a wide step to the left. Distance. Distance was my friend. Bad butterflies. Bad. Apparently they didn’t hear the conversation I’d had with Mom. The one about Lukas being nothing more than a client.

We settled on the couch across from each other in silence and sipped our cocoa.

After a few minutes, my curiosity got the better of me. “Back at school, Vida said something about last time. What did she mean? What happened when you helped my grandfather round the Sins up in 1959?”

He set the cup down and looked away.

“I’m sorry. I tend to be on the nosy side. You don’t have to tell me.”

He thought about it for a moment. “I propose a trade.”

“Trade?”

“A question for a question.”

“Anything goes?”

A few moments passed. Finally, he said, “Agreed.”

I settled back against the cushion and sipped my cocoa. This could get interesting. “Then the question stands.”

He actually looked annoyed. Like he thought I was going to ask something else? Grumpy had a lot to learn. “They made things—uncomfortable for me. I don’t know that words could properly describe it. Madness. All the emotions attached to sin—anger, pain, longing—all forced on me at once. I was like one raw nerve exposed to violent elements with no way to get free.”

“This was while you were inside the box? I thought you said you kind of slipped into a stasis?”

“I do, but I can still feel. It’s like being half asleep. You’re aware of what’s going on around you, but instead of choosing not to open your eyes—you can’t.”

I couldn’t imagine what that must be like. The hell it must be. To be trapped somewhere, unable to defend yourself. “I’m sorry.” It was a pitiful response, but what else could I say? Sucks to be you seemed a little mean.

“After a few decades, it wasn’t as bad. They bore easily.”

“So the rest of them are, what, awake in there?”

“Not in the same sense that you are out here, but yes. There’s a certain consciousness while inside.”

I swallowed back a lump. “Well, I guess that answers my question.”

Lukas nodded. He took another sip of his cocoa. “Your father’s a demon.”

“That’s not a question.”

He considered it for a moment. “I suppose my question is, what kind of demon is he? You said he wasn’t evil—so what does he do?”

“Demons aren’t all bad. And they definitely aren’t the tools of Satan.” I remembered his comment and did my best not to snicker. “Demons are actually just Otherworlders. From the Shadow Realm.”

“So demons aren’t from hell?”

I waggled a finger at him. “It’s my turn.”

“Oh. Yes, of course.”

The expression on his face reminded me of Mom. That look she got when digging into something ancient. Something legendary. This stuff fascinated Lukas almost as much as it did her. He watched me with those warm brown eyes and my stomach gave a little squeeze. God. I was going soft. One look from a pretty face and I caved. “The Shadow Realm is hell—just not the hell you’re thinking. There’s no fire and brimstone.”

His eyes widened. “So there’s no devil?”

“Lucifer is real. He’s the high king of the Shadow Realm.”

“And heaven?”

“No clue. I’m sure if there’s a Shadow Realm, its opposite is out there—though I doubt there are winged cherubs skimming the sky on cloudmobiles.”

“So your mother is human, and your father is a demon…” He looked a little sheepish. “As you pointed out earlier, you’re half demon—” Shoulders squared, he leaned forward just a bit. “Something I do not find disgusting, by the way. Do you—I mean, can you—”

I rolled my eyes. It was the first thing Kendra had asked when she found out what I was. She’d wanted me to go all demon on Farah Kinkaid for stealing her sixth grade crush. “Can I do anything cool, you mean? Other than being just a little tougher, I got zilch. No cool abilities.”

“So you’re saying you’re normal.”

Such an evil word, normal. One of the worst in the English language, in my opinion.

“Suckily so. Human-demon hybrids—not that we’re common—don’t inherit any special tricks. Something to do with the genetics not mixing well, I dunno.”

“Is that why you don’t see your father often? Because he’s a demon?”

“Most can’t leave the Shadow Realm without special permission. Like a temporary hall pass… It requires rank. Dad’s a lower ranking demon. Unless he’s on official business, he needs his boss Valefar’s permission to be here. Plus, Mom doesn’t like his element.”

“His element? What does that mean?” Lukas set down the mug and scrunched up his nose. God. I loved when he did that.

“She doesn’t like the work he does for Valefar. Dad’s like the demon equivalent of a mafia hit man. She didn’t want me exposed to that kind of world—which is funny considering what we deal with for the agency on a daily basis. Dad agrees, so he keeps his distance for the most part. He sends letters and gifts, and we talk on the phone now and then, but that’s about it. He spent a lot of time here when I was younger, but when I got old enough to start asking questions, he came less and less.”

He looked confused. “I thought you said he was a good guy.”

And here’s where the different shades of gray came in. “He’s not what you’d consider good in, like, the biblical sense. But he loves us—me and Mom—and he doesn’t harm anyone who hasn’t earned it.”

“Hasn’t earned it?” Lukas looked horrified. “Who’s to say who earns it and who doesn’t?”

Gah! How could you want to strangle someone and kiss him at the same time? “There’s that stone age thinking again. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Lukas, but the world’s changed since your time. People suck. They steal, they lie, and they kill each other in horrible ways for no good reason. Some are just bad. Badder than the demons.”

He frowned. “I can’t believe that.”

I shrugged. “That doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

The look on his face made me feel guilty again. Was it really so wrong to let him cling to his version of a peaceful world? The fact that he was still able to see goodness after all the hell he’d been through was pretty amazing. Rare. The guy was rare. Deadly and tainted by Wrath, but at his core, innocent and good. Who was I to try and jade him?

Craps.

Hanging out with Lukas was killing my conscience. Not that I’d admit it—especially to him—but it was kind of nice to talk to someone who didn’t see the dirty sides of the coin. In our line of business, you kind of had to look for the bad. Had to always be suspicious. Lukas was a refreshing difference. A little like Mom. He wanted to see the light instead of the dark. The good over the bad.

I sighed and went for something in the middle. “Look, not all people are bad. That’s why we do what we do. Because there are innocent people out there. Ones worth saving. I’m just saying, your view of demons? It’s all wrong. They’re just like people. Good and bad.”

Silence. I started to stand, figuring after my rant he didn’t feel like talking anymore, but he stopped me. “It’s your turn.”

Instead of sitting back down in the recliner, I sank onto the couch next to him. Closer than I’d intended. There was one question burning at the back of my brain. It was a risky one, given the subject, but I had to know. “Did you love her?”

“Who?”

“Meredith. Were you in love with her?”

He didn’t answer right away. Gazing into his mug like it held the secrets of the universe, he sighed. “No. She was beautiful, yes, but she lacked substance. There were never any surprises.”

“Then why marry her? Why talk her out of running off with someone else? If she left, you could have been free.”

“Because we were promised to each other. It was the right thing to do. I could never have dishonored my mother by refusing.” He set the empty mug down and leaned forward, resting both elbows atop his knees.

“I can’t imagine being with someone I didn’t love.” I laughed. “I can’t even stand to be in the room with someone I don’t like.”

“You’ve been in love?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“What you said—I assumed—”

“Hell no. I’m not stupid.” This was a sore subject for me, but fair was fair. He’d spilled about Meredith, so the least I could do was even things out. “I see what my parents go through. They love each other more than the air they breathe, and it’s done nothing but cause them pain.”

“So then you haven’t agreed to be courted?”

I choked, sending hot cocoa shooting from my nose. Better than soda, but it still stung like a mother. “Courted? We call it dating now, and, um, no. I don’t date.”

“Why don’t you—date?”

I tried to squash the happy little wiggle that squirmed in my stomach at his question. Why was he asking? Was he interested? “First off, there’s no one at my school I’d even consider dating.”

“Why not?”

“They just can’t appreciate a girl like me.”

He smiled. “Beautiful, but unbelievably annoying?”

Major pulse spike. Maybe I’d been a little lax in the male attention department if the first guy to call me hot to my face sent me into a hormonal frenzy. I held my breath. Keep it together, Jessie.

Gesturing to myself, I said, “Beautiful?—hardly. Cute, maybe. But I was referring to my deeper characteristics.”

“Such as?”

“Oh, I dunno—funny, smart—able to kick most of their asses.” I snorted. “That bugs all guys.”

Lukas’ smile faded. “Not all.”

The wiggle in my stomach came back and, this time, I did nothing to push it away. Craps. The truth came stomping through the room like a were on steroids…

I was totally falling for one of The Seven Deadly Sins.