Deceiving Lies

21

Rachel

I WAS MIXING THE BATTER for pancakes when Kash strode back into the living room. He smiled devilishly at me as his eyes slid over to the coffee table and then did a double take. Looking back over to me with a raised brow, I answered his silent question the same way. I simply shrugged, dropped my eyes, and kept stirring. When I heard the sound of rustling paper, I looked up under my eyelashes and held my breath as he read my first—and what I’d been afraid would end up being my last—letter to him.

So many different emotions played over his face as he read it. His lips tilted up in a soft smile at first, and slowly grew larger until he huffed a laugh and his eyes flicked up to me quickly. But just as soon as they were back, all humor left his handsome face, and his forehead tightened seconds before he began sucking on his lip ring. Suddenly his mouth popped open and he slowly looked back up at me, his gray eyes glassy with tears. With a slight shake of his head, he forced his eyes back down to the paper and finished reading the letter.

I knew when he had finished, because even though his head was somewhat bent over the letter, his eyes weren’t focused on the paper. He stood there for what felt like hours before he let the letter fall from his fingers to the table and walked over to me.

Reaching over, he unplugged the griddle and grabbed the batter before turning to put it in the fridge.

“Let me make this, you need to eat.”

“I’ll live.” His voice was low and rough as he reached for my hand and towed me to the bedroom. He called for Trip to follow us and waited until he was in the room before shutting the door and taking me to the bed. Sitting me down on the edge of it, he began pacing back and forth with his hands on his hips.

“I’d kept it hidden in the binding, do you—”

“Rachel,” he said, cutting me off. Abruptly he’d stopped pacing and placed a hand on each side of me, his face directly in front of me. “I refuse to take care of myself alone. You take care of me, and I’ll take care of you, and together we’ll take care of Trip.”

“Okay . . .”

“And don’t ever tell me again to love another woman the way I have loved you, and will always love you. There is no way you could have expected me to move on after you.”

“You say that now, but you don’t know how you would have felt in a few years.”

He grabbed my face in his hands and his voice shook as he shouted, “I don’t give a shit! I know I don’t know how I would feel in that situation, there’s no way to know that. But I know that no matter what happens in our lives, if you were taken from me for good, there would never be anyone else like you. There would never be anyone else I could love the way I love you.”

“Kash, okay. I’m sorry,” I whispered and brushed the tips of my fingers against the angry set of his face. Something in my touch broke him, because a pained cry burst from his chest at the same time heavy tears fell down his cheeks.

He dropped to his knees on the floor and pressed his head against my stomach, his hands gripping my back as he cried into my lap. “I’ve come too close to losing you too many times,” he forced out. “I will do anything to keep you by my side for the rest of my life.” Looking up at me, I felt helpless staring back at his broken expression. “Knowing that you even had to consider me moving on with someone else because you might die, kills me. I hate that you went through that, and I hate that you prepared yourself for that.”

“Okay, but I’m—” My voice gave out and I had to clear my throat. “I’m here, we’re together.”

“I’m not letting you go, Rachel, for anything. It’s you and me. Always, got it?”

I nodded, unable to respond, and his head dropped back against my stomach as another sob ripped through him. I’d only ever seen Kash begin to cry twice. Usually when he was upset, he got angry. So to see him break like this was absolutely breaking my heart. I kept one hand holding his head in my lap, and ran the other over his back. The muscles bunched and shuddered beneath my fingertips as he let everything out.

As he let everything go.

I could only imagine that this went so much deeper than what had been written in the letter, and what it had signified. This was all the lies, this was Blake, this was the months apart, and this was the torture that Kash had gone through while I’d been kidnapped.

Kash eventually climbed onto the bed with me, and he pulled me close after his tears had subsided and his breathing had evened out. For countless minutes after, we lay there, staring into each other’s eyes . . . not saying anything. One of his hands cupped my cheek as dark gray eyes tried to convey a pain to me that I just couldn’t understand.

I didn’t know all that Kash had been through in his time as an undercover. I didn’t know what it was like to be the one looking for your significant other . . . just as he didn’t know what it was like to lose both your parents, be tortured by a man you’d grown up with, or be the one that was waiting to be found. Our pains and fears were so different that I didn’t know if we would ever fully understand the depth of the pain that the other had experienced. And yet, at the same time, I knew him, and he knew me . . . we knew when the other was terrified, or upset, and we would always be there for each other to help the other through whatever was happening at that time.

So although I couldn’t understand the grief he’d gone through that had caused this breakdown, I was here for him as he worked through it, just the same as he’d always had been there for me.

I KNOCKED ON THE LARGE DOOR and fumbled with the armful of food as I waited for Marcy to open the door. It was the Fourth of July, and while all of Kash’s family was going to be coming to his parents’ house, Kash wouldn’t be here until later tonight. He and Mason were on call today and had been called in two hours ago . . . surprise, surprise. I needed him here; I hadn’t seen his extended family since before I’d been taken. And while I hadn’t had an issue with any member of his family, I hadn’t felt comfortable with them . . . but that could have probably had something to do with the fact that everyone seemed to keep bringing up my mom and dad. I’d ended up breaking down that night and was afraid of questions that might come up today.

After the emotionally draining night we’d had last night with Kash’s breakdown, I didn’t think I was up for one of my own. And then Kash had been so weird today . . . like he was worried about something. The way he’d kissed me right before he’d left for work had left me feeling uneasy, but I’d finally decided he was probably just as worried about me going to this party without him as I was.

“Hi, sweet girl!” Marcy said when she opened the door. “Oh, let me help you with all that. Gosh, we could have made a few trips out to the car, you didn’t have to bring it all in at once.”

I transferred some of the bags and food into her arms, and kicked the door shut behind me as I followed her inside.

“It’s so good to see you getting out more, and I’m glad you wanted to come over early! You know I love our girl time.”

My chin was holding some of the boxes down, so I had to wait until I reached the counter to answer her. But as soon as I relieved my arms of everything with a large exhale, I turned to hug Marcy and took a deep breath. “I know, it’s like I was still keeping myself locked up by not leaving the house.” I began taking things out of the bags and setting them on the counter, or putting them away in the fridge and freezer. “Hey, Marcy, I was wanting to talk to you about something.”

She stopped what she was doing and eyed me curiously for a moment. “Is it something we should be sitting down for . . . or maybe not setting up for the party tonight?”

I laughed awkwardly and tossed the package of paper plates I was holding down on the counter. “Neither . . . I think. I’m not sure.” Rolling my eyes, I leaned on the counter on my forearms and just started talking. “Kash and I were supposed to have gotten married a week ago tomorrow. Neither of us said a word about it when the day came and went, because at the time, well we were working through a lot at the time. And I think for both of us, it was hard thinking that it was another thing that had changed in our lives, or wasn’t going the way we had planned, because of what happened.”

“He told us you overheard the conversation the night you came back. I hope you don’t think he doesn’t want to marry you, Rachel. He was confused and hurt, but he—”

“No, I don’t think he doesn’t want to marry me. I mean, I did . . . but, I don’t anymore.” I pressed the tips of my fingers into my temple and shook my head. “He and I already went through that, I understand all that now. But what I’m getting at today . . . is that I was kind of hoping you would help me. I think he’s waiting for me. Waiting for me to be ready, waiting for me to bring it up, just waiting for me to let him know I’m ready to move forward with our lives again.”

Marcy’s lips kept tilting up like she was trying to contain her smile, but she wasn’t saying anything yet.

“Will you help me think of a fun way to tell him I’m ready?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, of course I will!”

“Okay!” I straightened up and drummed my hands on the granite countertop. “I want some ideas from you, but I was wondering . . . while I was gone, did you ever go pick up my wedding dress, and do you have it here?”

Marcy’s face lit up with a massive smile before she turned and took off, leaving the kitchen.

I’ll take that as a yes to both.

We spent the next few hours thinking up ideas and taking pictures, running back to the store to use the one-hour print, and then back to my house to set them up. Kash wouldn’t be going back there between then and the party anyway, so he wouldn’t see it until we got home that night.

By the time we got back to Richard and Marcy’s, we were running around, trying to set up for the party and getting all the food ready. I had so much adrenaline running through me that the setup seemed to fly by, and by the time Kash’s extended family began showing up, I was already wanting it to be over. I was anxious to get Kash back to our place and see his reaction.

After an hour and a half of the party and Kash’s fun-loving family—which had been graciously avoiding asking questions about my time away—my desire to get back home and my need to see Kash’s reaction . . . all faded away.

Kash walked into the living room, and after searching for me, he walked over to me with purpose, and the most scorching gaze I’ve ever seen from him as his eyes raked slowly over my body. Wrapping an arm around my waist, he pulled me close and pressed his lips firmly to mine for long seconds before giving me another quick kiss and leaning back.

“Well, hi,” I said breathily. For a second I wondered if he had gone back to the house and had already seen everything. But I still felt light-headed from what should have been a simple kiss, so I focused on breathing normally and the feel of his heart racing beneath my palm.

He toyed with his lip ring as he studied me. “I have something for you, sweetheart.”

“Do you now?”

“I do. You wanna come outside with me for a minute?”

I eyed him and asked softly, “Do you really have something for me outside, or is this your attempt to save me from your thousands of cousins?”

A loud, awkward laugh left him, and he kissed my forehead as he grabbed my hand. “Uh . . . you just need to see this.”

Vague. I let him lead me outside and smiled when I saw Mason standing out on the front lawn. “Wow, you’re giving me Mason? I’m pretty sure this is the best gift ever.”

Kash stopped walking and growled, and Mason burst out laughing. Elbowing Kash’s side, I urged him to keep walking, and rolled my eyes when he wouldn’t. “Oh, you know I’m joking. Show me whatever it is you brought me out here for.”

“Mase?” Kash prompted softly.

Mason pulled out his phone and made a call. As he did, Kash turned me toward him and brought me in for a lingering kiss.

“If you need anything, we’ll be right inside, okay?”

I pulled back and looked back and forth between him and Mason. Both wore matching looks of understanding mixed with fear. “Wait, what? Why are you leaving?”

“Trust me on this,” he crooned and ran a soothing hand up and down my back. “I need you to know, Rachel. No matter what happens, I just want you to be happy.”

“Happy? Kash, what’s going on?”

“Just know that I’ll always love you.”

As soon as he released me, Mason picked me up in a big hug before setting me back down and following Kash into the house. Leaving me out in the dark alone. There were dozens of people just inside the house, and tons of other houses on the street, but I suddenly felt very alone and terrified.

I didn’t understand Kash’s cryptic words. And now I was second-guessing the way he’d been acting this morning before he’d left.

My body stilled when I heard someone walking up the grass behind me, and when I turned to see who they’d left me with, I understood why Kash had taken me away from everyone. Because as soon as I saw him, I burst into tears and ran up to him, launching myself at his large frame.

Trent caught me easily, and held me close to him for long minutes before releasing me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked through my tears and grabbed his arm. I needed to know that he was actually here, that I wasn’t dreaming all this. “How did you get out of prison?”

“With your testimony, and with the help of your fiancé, his partner, and their chief, the charges against me were dropped.”

A sob broke free from my throat, and I slapped a hand over my mouth as I continued to cry. Trent reached forward and cupped my cheeks in his hands, his thumbs brushing away tears. “Are you serious?” I finally managed to ask.

“Yeah, Rach, I am.”

“I’m so happy for you! This is all I wanted for you . . . to have another chance at life.” Throwing myself into his arms again, I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried into his chest. “God, Trent, I’m so happy for you. I’ve missed you.” Remembering last night, I stepped back and tried to glare at him. It didn’t hold. “I wish I had my journal, I really wanted to slap you with it.”

His eyebrows pinched together, and he laughed softly. “Why?”

“I read your letter, Trent.” Understanding flashed through his eyes, and I continued. “I hate that you view yourself like that. You deserve everything, you have to know that. You deserve an amazing life, you deserve an amazing woman. And now you get to experience all that!”

Trent licked his lips, and his dark eyes searched my face, before looking up at the house. “That’s something I’m supposed to talk to you about, Rachel.” With a deep breath, he turned and pointed at a black SUV parked on the street. “That car is about to take me to my new life. I don’t know where I’m going, but Kash arranged for me to be completely protected when I got out.”

I frowned as I tried to understand what he was saying. “You’re going into witness protection?” I asked on a whisper. When he nodded, I felt like crying again. “Why can’t you stay here?”

“It’s not safe for me here, and you know that.”

I did know that. But now that he was out, I wasn’t ready for him to be gone . . . I knew when he left this time, there would be no seeing him again. I wasn’t ready for that.

“I shouldn’t have been allowed to come see you at all, but that was another thing Kash arranged.” Taking my hand, he pulled me close and looked at me for a long moment before speaking again. “Rachel, he’s giving you the choice to go with me.”

My brow furrowed, and I shook my head in confusion. “I don’t—like Kash and me go with you?” When Trent shook his head slowly, I grasped what he was saying . . . and my chest tore open. “Just me,” I stated. It was no longer a question.

Some small part of me hated that Kash was still questioning my feelings. My mind kept screaming, He just said last night he wouldn’t let me go for anything! But, if I was being honest with myself, I knew that wasn’t what this was . . . he was making sure I knew what I wanted . . . and giving me the option to have that.

I loved him. I loved how selfless he was.

“Trent, I will never forget you, and I will never forget everything you did for me. I owe you everything. I know how you feel for me; to be honest, I’ve had an idea since before I got out of that house. And I’m so sorry if I ever led you to believe anything different, but I love Kash. I’ll always love Kash.”

Trent cleared his throat, and looked away quickly when his dark eyes filled with pain.

“I hate that after finally knowing you’re safe from those men, you’re going to be leaving me. But I’ve only ever viewed you as a friend, and protector. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I knew even when I kissed you that your heart belonged to him. I’ve never loved anyone until I met you, Rachel, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over you.”

“You’ll find someone, I know you will. You have so much to give to someone, and whoever she ends up being, she will be incredibly lucky to have you.”

He watched me for a few seconds with a sad smile as he cupped one side of my face. “I’ll never forget you.”

More tears fell down my cheeks as I admitted, “I’ll never forget you either, Trent Cruz.”

With a kiss to my forehead, he released me and took a few steps back and looked over at the dark SUV. A few seconds later, it started up and pulled into the driveway, and soon Kash and Mason were joining us.

Turning to look at my fiancé, I noticed the tears in his eyes as he stepped up to me. “No matter what you decide, I’ll always love you. I just want you to be happy.”

Grabbing his hand, I stepped close and placed a hand over his racing heart. “You are what makes me happy. I can’t live a life that you’re not in, Kash. I’ve already tried it once before, it didn’t work.”

A deep exhale left him, and he pulled me close to his body.

“Thank you,” Trent’s deep voice sounded behind us, and I turned to see him holding out his hand, which Kash shook. “For everything. What you did means more to me than you could possibly know. So . . . just, thank you.”

Kash nodded and released his hand. “Take care of yourself.”

After Trent and Mason exchanged a similar good-bye, he turned back to me, and much like I had earlier, I launched myself at him. Hugging him tight once, I stepped back and wiped away tears.

“Never forget you, Rachel,” he said again, and I gave him a shaky smile.

“I’ll miss you.”

And then he was turning and walking toward the SUV, and driving out of my life forever. My chest ached at a different kind of loss for Trent than the one I’d been dreading, but I was so happy for him.

Once the taillights had faded, I turned to Kash and punched his shoulder. “You can’t get rid of me that easy! Don’t you understand that I love—”

His lips cut me off, and I moaned into his mouth as we shared a kiss to rival every other one we’ve ever shared.

“I had to give you the choice,” he whispered when we pulled away, our breathing ragged.

“I know, and I love you that much more for it. But it’s you, Kash. Like I told Trent, it will always be you.”

He kissed me thoroughly again and repeated his words from last night. “It’s you and me, Rach. Always.”

“Always,” I agreed.

Kash

MASON STOPPED TALKING and nudged my arm before nodding toward Rachel. Turning my head, I looked down at her lying in between my legs asleep. One of her arms was hanging over my leg, and her body was still turned toward Mason from when they’d been talking.

After everything that had gone down tonight, she was still here . . . with me.

Mason and I had been working on getting Trent into witness protection for almost two weeks. Because of his background, and his involvement with Rachel’s kidnapping, it took time to get his charges dropped so we could move forward. But I’d known for a few days now that it could happen at any time. I’d wondered how to tell Rachel, and a part of me was afraid of how she’d react if she knew I’d done it all behind her back and Trent was already gone, but then Chief had given me the journal.

Before Rachel had been taken, I’d vowed to always look for signs that she was struggling with something . . . anything. It wasn’t hard to know she’d been hurting since she came back, and after reading Trent’s letter to her, I’d known what I had to do. As much as it killed me to think of Rachel choosing him, and as much as we’d progressed, I knew he was constantly on her mind. And though I didn’t doubt her feelings for me, I couldn’t deny that there was something for him too. It was the last thing I wanted, but if it was what she needed, I’d known I had to be strong for both of us . . . and let her go.

I’d almost changed my mind after reading Rachel’s letter to me, though. I’d woken up early this morning and watched her while she slept, and was trying to convince myself that I would gladly take her anger if it meant keeping her. But then I’d gotten the call that Trent was getting out, and going to be leaving today, and I knew in that moment that just because I wanted her for myself, didn’t mean I could take away her option to choose.

Mason had had to stop me from walking back outside the entire time Trent and Rachel were out there, and when he’d gotten the call from the detective that would be taking him to a waiting jet, everything switched. I wasn’t ready to know what her answer was, but Mason had practically shoved me out of the house and walked me down the lawn to go talk with them.

I’d been afraid her constant thinking about him had been a sign that even with her denying them, she had stronger feelings for Trent than maybe she even knew. It wasn’t until I asked her not long after he left that she told me she knew he would die in jail, and she’d been struggling with the guilt that she couldn’t help Trent like he’d helped her.

Ever since, Rachel hadn’t left my side, and this was the most I’d seen her smile in the three weeks since I’d gotten her back. And I was so damn glad for it.

I smiled at Mason and bent to kiss the top of Rachel’s head. “You ready to call it a night?” I asked Mason quietly.

“Yeah, it’s late.” Just as I began to move, he asked, “Did you think we’d be here?”

“What do you mean?”

“A little over a year ago we were in a bare apartment in Texas, and you were telling me not to go bang the hot neighbor because it would mess with the case. I’d called your bullshit that day. I told you if either of us had to be careful, it was you. And now, here we are. Back in Florida, you’re engaged to Rachel; Candice will be here in a week, and we’ll be in the same place we’ve always been.”

I laughed at the memory, but something close to terror still slid through my veins at how right Mason and I had both been. Our jobs had been dangerous, for Rachel. We’d been proven right too many times already on that. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her body closer to mine when Mason repeated himself.

“So that day, did you think we’d be here?”

“You know, I think even then I did. I knew there was something different about her from that first moment. I knew it, and you could see it too. I couldn’t see this at that time . . . but I think I knew we would be here.”

“I’m happy for you, man. You deserve this. You deserve her.”

The corners of my mouth tilted up in a smile and I looked back over at him. “Thanks, Mase.”

He just nodded before clearing his throat. “Let’s get her to a bed, yeah?”

“Yeah.” I pressed my lips to Rachel’s neck and spoke softly in her ear as I let my fingers trail up and down her arms. “Wake up, Sour Patch. Time to go home.”

She groaned and turned in my arms, but went right back to sleep.

“Rachel, come on, babe. Let me take you home.”

Her only response was to nod her head and let it drop into my chest. I laughed and scooped her up before getting my legs beneath me, and standing with her in my arms.

“See you tomorrow?” I asked Mason. At his nod, I walked over to where my parents were talking with some of their friends and said good night before getting Rachel into my truck.

About halfway home, Rachel slowly started waking up.

“Where we going?” she mumbled.

“We’re going home, you fell asleep after all the fireworks.”

“Hmm . . . yeah. Where’s my Jeep?”

“Still at my parents. We’ll go get it tomorrow.”

“Yeah . . . ’kay.”

I smiled and squeezed her knee. She just groaned and swatted at my hand.

“Oh my God!” she yelled suddenly, and sat straight up.

“What?” I’d been slowing for a red light but slammed on the breaks at her outburst.

“I have something for you at home! I almost forgot!”

“You . . . Jesus Christ, Rach! I thought we were about to get hit or I was about to run over someone!”

“Well, get over it! We didn’t. Come on light, turn green, go, go, go, come on we have to get home!” She bounced up and down in her seat and looked at the empty streets around us.

“Fuck, swear to God you’re going to be the death of me.”

She stopped bouncing and turned to face me. Her dark blue eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms. “Keep being an asshole and you won’t get it.”

I couldn’t help it. A massive smile crossed my face. I put the car in park, unclicked her seat belt, and pulled her across the seat to me. “There’s my fiery girl. You’re such a cute little monster when you wake up.”

“I will cut you.”

“I said cute.”

“I hate you.”

“Liar.” I kissed her hard and trailed my hand in between her thighs, smiling more when her gasp filled the cab of my truck. She opened her legs wider and I moved my hand up her shorts; and just as my fingers touched the edge of her underwear, I removed my hand and pushed her back into her seat. “Put your seat belt on, the light’s green.”

“Kash!” she gritted as she angrily yanked at her seat belt.

I smiled and put the car in drive before taking off again. “There’s a word . . . I’m having trouble remembering it right now. Oh, right. Frustration . . . Enjoy that.”

She looked back at the road for a second, turned her body toward me, and released her seat belt. “Maybe you should learn to enjoy frustration.” Leaning over, she grabbed for the buckle on my belt and I grabbed her wrists in one of my hands.

“I don’t think so. This doesn’t go both ways, Sour Patch.”

“It’s about to.”

“Don’t make me handcuff you.” When she didn’t make another move toward me and didn’t say anything, I glanced over at her and I swear to God my jeans shrunk when I saw the heat in her eyes and the way she was torturing her bottom lip. “Shit. Put your seat belt back on.”

We need to get home. Now.

I pressed harder on the gas and forced myself to focus on the road rather than imagining Rachel cuffed. Jesus. Drive, Kash! By the time we got home, I didn’t have the patience to wait for her to get out of her own door. As soon as she had her seat belt off, I grabbed her and dragged her across the seat. Bending low, I pressed my shoulder into her stomach and lifted her out, kicking the door shut behind me.

“Your shoulders are still super uncomfortable!” She laughed, but didn’t make any other complaints as I unlocked the door and walked inside with her. “Okay, now put me down and go let Trip inside.”

I set her on the ground but slammed her body back to mine and captured her lips with my own. A soft needy sound rose up in her throat, and she gripped my shirt in her hands, trying to bring our bodies even closer together.

“Kash,” she moaned.

“Go get in the bedroom. I’ll be right behind you.”

She took off for the back of the house after I released her, and I locked the front door before going to the back to let Trip inside and feed him. Taking off my badge, gun, holster, and belt, I laid them on the breakfast table before putting the handcuffs in my back pocket and heading down the hall. I pulled my shirt off my body and let it fall to the ground, and awkwardly tore off my boots and socks without stopping my advance.

Turning the corner in the hall, I stopped dead when I saw things hanging from the ceiling between the bedroom doorway and me.

“What the hell?”

Flipping on the hall light, I walked closer to the pictures hanging and slowly turning from the air blowing through the vents in the ceiling. As I grabbed the first one, my eyes widened and my breathing quickened.

It was a picture of an August calendar, and Rachel’s engagement ring was circling August 23. Next to her ring, on that day, was a question mark.

Stepping quickly to the next picture, I stopped it from spinning and looked at the words I LOVE YOU ALWAYS in Scrabble tiles. In between the YOU and ALWAYS was a green Sour Patch Kid.

Letting go, I walked to the last picture and stopped it from spinning. It was the upper left half of Rachel’s back, and she was looking behind her, and down. Most of her back was bare, but she looked like she was wearing a dress. I flipped the picture over and read the words I had seen as the picture spun.

I’M READY FOR YOU TO SEE THE REST OF THIS DRESS. I’M READY FOR FOREVER WITH YOU. YOU’VE TAKEN MY HEART; CAN I TAKE YOUR LAST NAME?

Walking into the bedroom I turned and found her worrying her bottom lip as she leaned against the wall. Her blue eyes bounced between mine, and as she took in my expression, her face relaxed and a soft smile spread across her face. Stepping up to her, I cupped her cheeks and kissed her softly twice.

“You’re back.”

Her brow scrunched together, and she opened her mouth to respond before it shut and her eyes widened. “I’m sorry it took so long.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, you took exactly how long you needed. I’m just so damn glad I have you back again,” I told her as I kissed her again. I pressed my knee between her legs and swallowed her soft whimper.

“Was I just proposed to?” I asked teasingly.

She laughed loudly and pushed against my stomach. “No. I just—I don’t know, I wanted . . .”

“You don’t have to explain, Rachel. I got it, and August twenty-third sounds perfect.”

“Yeah?” she asked, her eyes brightening.

“Yeah, and I can’t wait to see the rest of that dress either.” I released her cheeks and slowly lifted her arms above her head, grasping her wrists in one of my hands before pinning them to the wall. “But I’m going to love taking it off you even more.” Trailing my lips along her neck, I loved how her head rolled to the side when my teeth grazed the soft skin there. “Every night while you were gone”—I whispered along her jaw—“I dreamed about you coming back to me. I dreamed about taking you in my arms, and pressing your body to mine. About moving against you . . . with you.”

Wrapping my other arm around her waist, I turned us and walked toward the bed. Just before her legs hit the mattress, I stopped walking and slowly took off her clothes, bra, and underwear. Her hands fell to my jeans, but I didn’t let her get past unbuttoning them before I pushed her back and lowered her onto the bed. I watched as she sensually crawled toward the center, and lay back, waiting for me. She was so damn beautiful.

Crawling over her, I covered her body with mine and gave her the faintest of kisses before going back to teasing her. “I dreamed of the way you would look as you fell apart beneath me.” I smiled and kissed her collarbone when a shiver worked its way through her body. “The way you would tremble around me. How you would gasp out my name as you came.” I gently raked my teeth over one nipple and looked up to see her watching me, her blue eyes full of want.

“But most of all,” I said as I brought myself back up so I could look directly in her eyes. “I dreamed that when I woke up the next morning, you would be there.” She brought a hand up to cup my cheek, and I kissed her lips softly once before asking, “Can I love you, Rachel?”

“Please,” she begged and wrapped her long legs around my back, bringing me down to rest against her.

I moved against her twice and smiled when a breathy exhale left her, and her head fell back onto the mattress. I loved seeing her like this, and I’d missed it. With a kiss to her throat, I slowly made my way down her body and ran my fingers along her folds to her opening before leaning forward and tasting her again for the first time in way too long.

“Kash, oh God,” she whispered, her body already writhing against the bed.

She came fast, and hard, as I worked her with one hand and tortured her relentlessly with my tongue. I hadn’t had enough, but I needed her—needed her around me, needed to be moving inside her. I shed my jeans and boxers quickly and positioned myself over her again. She grabbed the back of my neck and met my mouth hungrily as I lowered myself to her. I groaned and stopped moving completely when I was finally inside her, just to enjoy the feel of her again. And when I moved . . . Christ, I didn’t know how long I was going to be able to last.

Kissing her hard once, I began teasing her mouth with my tongue and about died when she bit down on my lip ring and smiled coyly as she gave it a little tug. Fuck, I’d missed that.

“I don’t like it when you tease,” she whispered when she released the metal, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Liar.”

But I didn’t have the patience for teasing her any more than I already had. Keeping one hand firmly fisted in her hair, I lifted myself higher with the other and quickened my pace. Her eyes fluttered shut and a needy moan sounded in the back of her throat seconds before she urged me to go harder.

“I need you to go with me,” I said into her ear as I reached down between us and began teasing her sensitive bud.

“Oh God—”

“With me, Rach.”

I locked my jaw and pushed into her harder as she tightened around me until I felt her shudder and come undone, causing me to fall over the edge with her. A low growl tore from my chest as my thrusts slowed to a stop and I shakily lowered myself onto her body. Kissing her softly, I rolled us to the side and let out a labored breath.

“Christ.”

“Ditto,” she said breathily and kissed my bare chest.

I laughed softly and put my fingers under her chin, raising her head back so I could look into her dark blue eyes. “In a little over a month, you will be my wife. This time . . . nothing is stopping us. I’m going to marry you, I’m going to make you mine, and I’m going to keep you by my side for the rest of my life.”

She took a deep breath in through her nose, and a smile crossed her face when she released it. “I can’t wait, Logan. I’m so ready for my life with you. I just hope it’s really boring compared to this first year.”

I laughed hard and kissed her forehead. “Me too, Sour Patch. Me too.”