Dream Girl

Chapter Twenty-Two

Ashlyn woke up around five o'clock, her head fuzzy and her heart hurting. She dragged herself out of bed and poked around in some papers and stuff on her desk. She should be relieved it had finally happened, but she ached too much.

She picked up her notes from Applied Crypto and spotted a hard drive she'd copied from Zach's brewery. She thought she'd turned them all over to her dad, but this one had been buried. She pulled it out and looked at it. It was the copy of Melissa's hard drive.

Melissa had a crush on Connor. Ashlyn had sensed something between them that day at the picnic. Connor had been uncomfortable around her. Had he actually cheated on his wife with Melissa? No. Not the Connor she'd gotten to know. What if he'd rejected Melissa? Maybe she was trying to get revenge on Connor by sabotaging his business. Maybe it was worth one more try investigating her hard drive.

She decided she owed it to Zach and Connor to figure out who was giving away their trade secrets, so she booted up her computer and sat down to try some different keyword searches.

It grew dark. She vaguely heard Ben and Doug go out and come home, and then go to bed. The house was quiet. Her eyes burned, and her brain was mush. Those e-mails about God kept popping up and she ignored them, searching for something...

Suddenly a memory flashed into her mind. Zach standing in the lab talking about yeast. “When European monks started brewing beer in the eighth century, they had no idea how yeast worked,” he'd said. “All they knew was that when they exposed their liquid of malted barley and hops to the heavens, a miracle happened. ‘God is good,’ they said.” He'd grinned. “And that's what they called yeast in the early days."

Quickly Ashlyn started a new keyword search using “God” and “good.” All kinds of things started coming up, and soon she'd put together a sequence of e-mails that were extremely damning, now that she knew “God is good” referred to yeast. Yes! It was Melissa. All they had to do was trace the Hotmail account the e-mails were going to and from, and if it was anybody connected with Steinbrau, they'd done it.

She couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement and satisfaction, although tears trickled down her cheeks.

Zach sat in Connor and Jessica's stylishly-decorated home, guzzling his third beer. He felt like crap. Ashlyn's words when she'd left yesterday had made him feel like the biggest piece of shit imaginable, even though he was in the right and she was so in the wrong. He kept telling himself over and over again how pissed he was at her and what a cold bitch she must be to have let Jessica and Connor suffer.

"Another beer?” he asked Connor, who frowned.

"Easy, dude,” Connor said. “Think maybe you've had enough for now?"

Zach shook his head and hauled himself out of the uncomfortable but über-stylish leather chair in which he sat. “I'll get it myself,” he muttered.

Jessica walked into the room. “So, I talked to my lawyer last week,” she said. “About suing Farrell Investigations."

Both men gaped at her. “You're going to sue them?” Connor asked slowly. “You never mentioned that."

"Yes,” she said, looking from one to the other. “They screwed up—or rather, Ashlyn Farrell screwed up. He thinks we could get big bucks for pain and suffering—mental anguish or whatever."

Zach and Connor looked at each other, and then back at Jessica in silence.

"What?” she asked.

"Uh, honey...” Connor said. “They're working on a job for us right now."

"I know. Maybe you should find someone else. Someone more competent."

"I think they're pretty competent,” Zach said slowly, having been distracted from his quest for more beer. He dropped back into the chair. “They want us to meet with them tomorrow about what they've discovered. It sounds positive."

"Yeah,” Connor said. “I'd kind of like to keep the relationship there for now."

"Oh.” Jessica sat down on the couch beside Connor. “Well, maybe we could just sue Ashlyn."

Zach found himself unaccountably angered by that idea.

"She made a mistake,” he growled. “As did the other decoy you hired. Obviously it's not that unlikely."

She nodded, her lovely face troubled. “What about the fact that she didn't tell me about it when she discovered the mistake?"

"What about the fact that you didn't look at the video?” Connor asked mildly. “If you'd looked at it right away, this whole mess would never have happened."

Jessica firmed her lips and blinked. “I told you why,” she began, and he covered her hand with one of his.

"I know, hon. I'm just saying, that part isn't totally her fault."

"When did you go to Cabo?” Zach asked abruptly.

She blinked. “Um ... April 1. Friday. I came back the next Sunday."

"So you'd already left town the day Ashlyn found out,” he said slowly. “She tried to call you Monday, but no one would tell her how to reach you."

"I wanted to be left alone,” she said in a small voice.

"I know,” Connor said soothingly. He glanced curiously at Zach.

Zach's mouth twisted as his mind worked over things.

"You guys are defending her,” Jessica accused.

"I like her,” Connor said with a shrug. “Sorry. I got to know her a bit over the last few weeks. I think she's a sweetheart."

Jessica shot him a glare, and he smiled reassuringly. “Hey. I'm not interested in her, okay? I love you. You know that.” She relaxed and gave him an apologetic smile. “It's Zach who's crazy about her."

"I still can't believe that,” Jessica said, shaking her head. “That you could get involved with her after what she did."

"I didn't know,” Zach growled. “Now I do, and we're finished. Okay?"

Jessica and Connor shared a look. She bit her lip.

Zach sat back down and glowered at the empty beer bottle in his hands.

Yeah, maybe she was a sweetheart, but she was also a deceitful witch. A gorgeous, smart, funny, caring witch.

"You're really serious about her, aren't you?” Connor shook his head.

"Nah. She's just a chick."

Connor snorted. “You were going to ask her to marry you the first night you met her."

"Good thing I didn't."

"Why didn't you? You've done it before. When you talk about marrying a girl after your first date, I just blow it off as your usual reckless self. It never lasts—next thing I know, you're with someone else. But this is different."

Zach wanted to tell Connor he'd been practicing that restraint he was always urging him to use, but the truth was ... He swallowed. “Because this time if I asked her to marry me ... I would've meant it."

He couldn't look at Connor and see the pity that was no doubt on his face. Zach scowled. The tables had turned, and now he was the one brooding while Connor worried about him.

"I know you're pissed at her,” Connor said. “But maybe you two should talk about it."

"You're the one who should be mad at her,” Zach pointed out.

"Believe me, I was,” Connor agreed wholeheartedly. “But now it kind of doesn't seem so bad. It really wasn't totally her fault."

"What would be the point in talking to her?” Zach ran a hand over his face. “I trusted her—she deceived me."

"So you think all that time you were together she was putting on an act?"

Zach's scowl deepened. No. Even he knew Ashlyn wouldn't have continued her act that long. Hell. Deep down inside he realized what Connor said made logical sense, but there was still no point in trying to fix things. “It doesn't matter,” he said heavily. “It would never have worked anyway. She doesn't trust me."

Jessica nibbled on her bottom lip, her eyes narrowed. “Why doesn't she trust you?"

"She doesn't trust any men,” he said. “Can you blame her, doing that job? All she sees are assholes who cheat on their wives."

"But ... did you do anything to make her not trust you?"

"Fuck no!” He glared at her.

Jessica held up a hand. “I believe you. But I think Connor's right—you should talk to her."

"The question is: would you rather live with her—even with her trust issues—or without her?” Connor tossed Zach's own words back at him. And while he'd known Connor's answer, Zach wasn't so sure about his own.

Ashlyn went to see her dad with the information she'd recovered from Melissa's hard drive.

"I thought you brought all that stuff in last week,” he said, frowning.

"I thought I did too. Sorry. I found this on my desk, and I spent some more time on it. So here's your answer to whodunit."

Still frowning, he reviewed the information she'd printed out.

"That's good work, Ashlyn.” He looked up at her. “Really good. Thank you."

"You're welcome.” She turned to leave.

"Wait, Ash,” Dave said. “I want to talk to you."

She turned and looked at him.

"I want to apologize for losing my temper last week. I shouldn't have fired you over something like that."

"I screwed up."

He nodded. “Hell, everyone makes mistakes. I was angry, and it seemed like a good way to get you to stop doing that damn sex decoy work."

She couldn't help but smile sadly. “I knew it."

"So anyway, you can have your job back. And submit your time and expenses to Brenda for all the time you spent working on the Surf Coast case, and you'll get paid."

Wow. She could have her job back. No longer did she have to be broke and desperate.

"I don't want my job back.” Suddenly she knew that.

He raised his brows. “You don't?"

She shook her head. “You know, I never realized what a negative impact that work was having on me until I stopped doing it. It's made me kind of cynical about men."

"I guess I could see that,” he answered, the corners of his mouth turned down. “I should never have let you do it."

"I wanted to do it,” she said. “And I enjoyed it. And I liked the money. But recently, I've kind of ... not really liked some things about myself."

"Oh, Ash. Does this have something to do with Zach Montgomery?"

She looked down at her fingers twisted together.

"I know you told me it was none of my business last time I asked, but this time I'm not asking as your boss. I'm asking as your father."

She felt her throat tighten up. “I don't know what to say. He's the nicest man I've ever met, and I screwed things up with him."

"Maybe you can fix it."

"I don't think so,” she choked out. “He was pretty angry about the fact that when I met him, I was actually on a job. Of course, he figures everything I said and did that night was just an act. It started out like that, but I really did like him. And when I found out what a mess I'd made of things, I was afraid to tell Jessica Montgomery, because I knew when Zach found out he'd hate me. And he does. Only, he hates me even more because I didn't tell Connor what I'd done and put him out of his misery. He doesn't get it that I couldn't do that."

He nodded. “He'll get over that."

"Maybe.” She lifted a shoulder. “But the worst thing is, I told him I don't trust him and can't trust any guy."

Her father frowned. “Why is that? What do you mean?"

She sighed. “It's partly because of the decoy work. Seeing all those guys willing to cheat on their wives doesn't inspire a lot of faith in men."

"Partly,” he said slowly. “But what else?"

She looked away, her throat tight. She blinked a few times. “Well, also because of you."

His mouth dropped open in astonishment. “Me?"

"You know.” She struggled to get the words out. “You and Mom."

He gaped at her. “Me and your mother? How does our divorce lead to you not trusting men?"

"Not the divorce part. It's the fact that you were cheating on her.” She stared out the window.

"What! What the hell are you talking about?” he demanded, outraged. “I never cheated on your mother."

Huh? She turned her head and squinted at him. “But all those times you got phone calls and you left ... all those times you'd be gone overnight, or even days..."

"That was work, damn it! Strictly work. You know what this job is like, Ashlyn. Something would be going down, and I'd get a call, and I'd have to go. Sometimes you don't get a second chance to do surveillance or talk to a witness. And sometimes I had to work overnight or go out of town.” He shook his head. “I love your mother,” he said with feeling. “I know she suspected I was screwing around. I swore to her I wasn't."

Ashlyn stared at her father. “She didn't believe you?"

"No. I couldn't make her believe it. She didn't trust me."

Ashlyn stared at her father. All these years, she'd blamed him for the end of her parents’ marriage, and he was claiming he'd never cheated? She gave her head a shake. “But ... she loved you.” Oh, Zach.

"Yeah.” Her father's voice was gruff, and her heart expanded with love for him, love she hadn't let herself feel since he and her mother had split up. She suddenly picked up on the fact that he'd used the present tense when he said he loved her mother. “She said she did. But ... she didn't believe me. I didn't know how to convince her."

And their marriage had ended because of it.

"I don't know how to convince Zach either,” Ashlyn whispered. “He trusts everybody—except me.” Her eyes stung, and she brushed a hand across them.

"I thought you were the one with trust issues?"

She stared at her dad. She was the one with trust issues. But that wasn't what this was about. Confusion played with her brain, sent her thoughts spiraling uselessly around in her head.

Her dad looked down at the papers on his desk and then back up, and he smiled faintly. “So you don't want your job back. Are you okay for money?"

She took a breath, gathering her wits. “If you pay me for all the hours I put into this"—she nodded at the papers she'd given him—"I should be okay. I've had a few interviews, and I should be hearing back soon.” She gave him a little smile. “Now, I better go start studying. My last exam is on Friday."

She left the building. For once, her thoughts of Zach were pushed to the background by her father's profession of fidelity to her mother. Could it be true? She'd always loved her dad, but her beliefs about his behavior all those years had been reinforced by all the guys she'd met doing the sex decoy job. It was just the way men were.

Or was it? Were there actually men who didn't cheat?

Connor Montgomery? And Zach?

She wanted so much to believe it, and especially wanted to believe her father was one of them. Could she talk to her mother about this?

It saddened Ashlyn that her dad had implied he still loved her mother. When she got home, she called her mom. They chatted about school and unimportant things, until finally, Ashlyn felt she could bring up the topic she really wanted to discuss.

"Mom, can I ask you a personal question? It's kind of important."

There was a brief silence, and then her mother said, “Sure, Ashlyn. What is it?"

"How come you didn't trust dad? When he told you he never cheated on you?"

Again, silence. “Why do you ask that?” her mother asked carefully.

"Because today ... he and I were talking ... and he told me he never cheated on you. And I ... I believe him."

Silence. “Why do you believe him?"

Ashlyn swallowed. “I don't know, actually. Just ... a feeling, I guess.” A gut feeling. Oh, God, Zach.

She heard her mother's sigh. “Well, all the times he was gone, those phone calls he'd get and leave, all those times he was away overnight ... all that seems to mean more than his word."

Ashlyn closed her eyes. “But you were married to him,” she whispered. “You loved him."

"That's why it hurt so much."

"Oh, Mom.” It was so sad. Her parents’ marriage destroyed because of a lack of trust. Yeah, her mom had had reason to suspect things—much like Jessica Montgomery. But things weren't always what they seemed. Ashlyn's chest ached as she thought of how miserable Connor had been without his wife. And how miserable her parents were without each other.

A few days later, Ashlyn got a call from Securitech telling her they wanted to make a formal job offer. They were going to courier the papers over to her that day. She would have been ecstatic if she hadn't been so heartbroken and confused. After all the interviews she'd been on in the last few months, this was the company she most wanted to work for. Finally, at least something was going right, but she couldn't get up the energy to care.

Right after that, she got another astonishing call. It was Jessica Montgomery wanting to meet with her. She gulped.

She did not want to see Jessica. Her inclination was to blow her off. She just wanted all that to go away. She and Zach were done; she wanted to forget this whole painful mess. But somehow, Jessica convinced her to meet with her again at Java Jack's.

Ashlyn arrived at the coffee shop and waited in a booth for Jessica, folding a paper serviette into smaller and smaller squares. When Jessica arrived, Ashlyn couldn't help but notice how happy and relaxed she looked now. Now her marriage was safe, and she knew her husband loved her.

Jessica's glossy black hair was smooth, her face perfectly made-up with smoky eyes and dark red lips. Her exotic beauty glowed. Ashlyn reluctantly admired her expensive-looking red suit and tan pumps as she slid onto the seat across from her.

Jessica eyed her assessingly. “Now you look like hell,” she said. Ashlyn's mouth dropped open. “Sorry. No offence. Zach looks even worse."

Ashlyn sighed and let the waitress fill her coffee cup. “Thanks.” She smiled up at the girl.

"Okay.” Jessica leaned forward. “Zach and Connor talked me out of suing you or your dad's company.” She shrugged. “I can see I do have some responsibility in this."

Ashlyn's eyes widened. “It was my mistake...” she began. Jessica held up a hand.

"Wait. There's something you need to hear. The reason I ended up telling Connor the truth about what I'd done."

Ashlyn waited curiously.

"Last week I still had this ... stupid idea that I needed to know if Connor would cheat on me.” She shook her head. “So I found another company that has sex decoys. One of them went to test Connor last Thursday night."

"He was out with Zach,” Ashlyn said slowly. “Playing pool. I was home studying."

Jessica shook her head. “Connor went and had one quick drink, but he wanted to get home to me.” A smile flickered on her lips. “So, Zach was sitting there alone when the decoy walks in, and guess what?"

"No!” Ashlyn's eyes widened.

"Yup. The girl thought he was Connor and did the routine. She had to get pretty aggressive, because he was so not interested."

Ashlyn just looked at her. “Did you not tell her what happened last time? So she'd know?” How could she be that stupid?

Jessica's eyes dropped to the table. “No. I was too embarrassed to tell her this was the second time I was doing that."

"All right then.” Ashlyn shook her head.

"When Connor got home early, I freaked out,” Jessica said. “He didn't know what was wrong, so I had to tell him what I did.” She gave a crooked smile. “He wasn't too impressed with me. But we've been through a lot lately, and he actually still loves me. Despite all my paranoid screw-ups."

Ashlyn smiled. Connor was a good guy. Just as loyal and faithful to those he loved as Zach was.

"Anyway, Zach is totally in love with you,” Jessica said. “He's miserable. He was actually defending you when I was talking about suing you."

"He was?"Ashlyn sat there, stunned, confused. “Why are you telling me this?"

Jessica sighed and looked down at her coffee. “You don't know me, but I have these security issues."

Big surprise, thought Ashlyn. The woman had hired two sex decoys. Lots of trust there, all right.

"There are reasons for it,” Jessica continued, a little awkwardly.

"I heard about Melissa."

Jessica nodded. “He says nothing happened. Then there were the late nights ... always working. I'd try to call his cell, and he never answered. Then a couple of months ago, I found a receipt in the bedroom for a diamond bracelet.” She paused. “I never got any diamond bracelet."

Ashlyn shook her head. “All the signs of a cheating husband."

"Yes.” Jessica took a breath. “Connor wants me to get some counseling.” She took a deep breath. “I really do love him, and I want my marriage to work. But..."

Ashlyn couldn't help but think of her parents. “Do it, Jessica.” Their eyes met. “Seriously. If you love each other, don't throw it away. My parents did that.” She swallowed. “My dad swears he never cheated on my mom, but she doesn't believe him. Can't believe him. It's such a waste ... don't let that happen to you and Connor."

Jessica nodded. “Thanks.” She studied Ashlyn. “Do you trust Zach?"

Ashlyn stared past Jessica's shoulder, not seeing the busy coffee shop, tuning out the chatter and the hiss of the espresso machine. Did she trust Zach?

"Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him?"

Ashlyn focused back on Jessica's face. “No. He never has.” She paused. “Why are you doing this?"

Jessica smiled wryly. “You almost wrecked my marriage—completely innocently. Now, I've wrecked your relationship with Zach. Also completely innocently. I had no idea that you and he were involved. Or that he had such strong feelings for you."

"Oh."

"So, I'm just trying to fix my mistake. Like you did."

Ashlyn's mind whirled.

Jessica pulled some bills from her purse and put them on the table. “You should talk to him,” she said, more gently. “He was angry, but I think he's getting over it. Connor's actually helping him realize this wasn't totally your fault. Take your own advice, Ashlyn. If you love him ... go talk to him.” She stood up.

"Wait,” Ashlyn said. She looked at Jessica standing there, a bit vulnerable even in all her impeccable elegance. “I want to tell you something too. Last weekend I was at the Pooch Picnic with Connor and Zach. There were women coming on to Connor left, right and center. He wasn't interested in any of them.” She met Jessica's eyes meaningfully. “Not one. I really don't think you have anything to worry about."

Jessica slowly smiled. “Thank you for telling me that,” she said. “I know I have to trust him, and I'm working on it. I don't think I actually needed to hear that. But thank you."

Ashlyn sat there. Should she take Jessica's advice and go talk to Zach? What more could she say to him? She looked down at the paper napkin she'd destroyed.

Then she knew.

Before she lost her nerve, she got in her old car and drove to his place. He wasn't home. She glanced at her watch. He could still be at work.

She drove to the brewery but damn, the doors were locked. She got back in her car and sat there for a moment. There was one more place she could try.