Every Second With You

Chapter Twenty-One

Harley

“Did you pack everything?”

“For the five thousandth time, I’m a dude. I don’t need that much stuff.”

“Shorts? Did you pack shorts?” I ask, as the maroon-uniformed doorman grabs the handle and holds open the door for us. “Thank you,” I say to him, and Trey does the same.

“I don’t own shorts.”

“But we’ll be at the beach.”

“Then I’ll buy shorts when I’m there.”

“You really don’t have a bathing suit?” My boots click against the marbled floor. I unloop my scarf as we walk to the elevator. A piece of yarn snags on my earring, and I tug once gently, then it loosens.

Inside the elevator, he taps my cold nose, all red from the blisteringly brutal fall we’re having. Okay, late fall. But still, it’s bitter, and I can’t wait till tomorrow when we leave the city for San Diego. Even if we were heading to the Arctic I’d be excited.

“The rumors are indeed true. I do not own a bathing suit. But I can’t fucking wait to see you in a bikini,” he says.

When we reach his parents’ floor, I fluff out my hair, wanting to look good for them. As I brush my fingertips against my earlobe, I find my earring is gone.

“Crap. I must have dropped my earring in the lobby. I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll go with you,” he says, but then his phone rings. He grabs it from his back pocket, and his eyes light up. “It’s Ilyas.”

“Take your call. I’ll be right back.”

The elevator starts to shoot me down, but then it slows at the fifteenth floor. A gorgeous brunette steps inside, and she’s holding hands with a young boy who’s probably not yet three. I smile at the boy; he has such beautiful green eyes, so unusual for a young kid.

“All right, Teddy. We’re just going to run to the store and then run back, okay?” she says to him, and he pretends to run in place.

“Like that, Mama?”

She nods. “Exactly.”

Then she looks at me, shoots me a smile. “He likes to pretend to run.”

“I can see.”

“Sorry. I know it can be annoying.”

“Not at all,” I tell her. “I’m actually having one of my own soon, so I kinda enjoy watching kids.”

“Congratulations,” she says, beaming at me. “Your first?”

I nod. “Yep.”

She ruffles Teddy’s thick brown hair. “He’s my first, too.”

“He’s very sweet,” I say. “And he has beautiful green eyes.”

“He got them from his dad,” she says with a shrug. “We never see him. But it’s nice he shared those eyes.”

I laugh as we reach the ground floor. She steps out first, and I quickly spot my earring on the floor.

As I hook it back in my ear, I watch the mom and her son, wondering if I’ll have a boy, if we’ll hold hands like that, if he’ll have Trey’s eyes.

“Have a good night, Ms. McKay,” the doorman says as the pair leaves the building.

“You too,” she says.

I return to Trey’s floor as he’s finishing his call. “That would be great. Thank you, Ilyas. I appreciate this so much.” He ends the call and holds out his arms. “He wants to hook me up with a shop in San Diego this week. Says there’s some guy there who does world-class designs. He wants me to see them.”

“That’s so great,” I say, and I hug him. “So, you ready for this?”

A dark cloud crosses over his green eyes. “Do we really need to tell them tonight?”

“The longer we wait, the harder it gets.”

“Yeah, since you can’t hide it much longer,” he teases as he pats my belly.

“Ha ha ha. You’re so funny.”

The fork hits the ground with a resounding clang, and I swear it’s the only sound left in the universe as it rings.

“What did you just say?”

“Harley’s pregnant,” he repeats in a steady voice, and I’m so proud of him simply for saying those words to his parents. None of this is easy for him; talking honestly to them is extraordinarily hard. His family is friendly on the outside, a vault on the inside. “We’re going to have a baby.”

His mom’s face is unreadable. She says nothing. She doesn’t move a muscle; doesn’t twitch, doesn’t blink. Nerves fly through my body, gnawing away at my bones. This woman scares me. She is so poised and cool, but right now we’ve cut her to the quick.

“A baby,” she says, finally finding words again. Trey’s dad reaches for her shoulder, clasps it, trying to reassure her of something. But what? That the baby will be fine? Or that she’ll survive this bomb?

“Yes, Mom. She’s due in May.”

“Well, congratulations, son,” his father offers. Then he furrows his brow curiously. “Right? I mean, is this a good thing?”

“Yes, Dad. It’s a good thing.”

“Congratulations,” his mom says, her tone wooden. She reaches for her fork. But it’s not there, and she seems surprised that the fork is suddenly missing. “Where’s my fork?”

I gulp and wait for his mom to say something more about the baby, about Trey, about me. But she doesn’t. The prospect of the lost utensil is far more fascinating.

“It’s on the floor,” I say, chiming in as I bend down to grab it.

And my belly moves.

Or rather, something inside me moves, and kicks me for the first time.

“Oh my god,” I gasp, and my hands fly to my stomach.

“Are you okay?” Trey asks and I can hear the fear nosedive into his voice. Before I know it, I am swarmed, and all three of them have jumped up from their chairs and are hunched over me as I’m squatting on the floor with a fork in my hand. I glance at each of them, and they are deer in the woods, pinned by the predator of their worst fears. In an instant, I see all their pain, all their loss. I am their worst nightmare, and they’re assuming this is the beginning of the end.

“I’m great. The baby kicked for the first time,” I say, and I can’t help it—I burst into a grin.

Trey’s eyes light up. “Are you serious?”

Standing, I reach for his palm and lay it on my belly. He waits and waits, and soon he’s rewarded with the tiniest of kicks, too. He smiles so wide it’s like sunshine lighting up the world, and if we were alone I know he’d fall to his knees and kiss my belly.

Then there’s a broken sob, a wail cut short, and Trey’s mom bolts. She heads down the hall into her office and slams the door. I don’t even wait for Trey or his dad to react. I listen to my gut, and my gut says to go to her.

I rap once on the door. “Mrs. Westin? May I come in?”

I hear nothing, so I take the lack of a no as a yes. I turn the handle and open the door, and I find her sunk down in her leather chair, her face in her hands. I grab another chair, and pull up next to her. Her shoulders are shaking, and she’s trying so hard to be quiet, but her tears aren’t silent as she likely wants them to be.

I pat her knee tentatively, rubbing it once, twice. She doesn’t shirk or pull away. “Hi,” I say.

“Hi,” she whispers.

“I imagine this must be hard for you. I know it was hard for Trey, at first.”

More shaking, more tears. I inch closer, and rub her shoulder. Seconds pass, and soon they pool into minutes. But her crying slows, her tears settle, and she manages to speak, even though her head still hangs low. “Are you eating right?”

“Yes. I’m a very healthy eater.”

“Are you taking folic acid?”

“I am.”

“And did you get an ultrasound?”

“I did. The baby looks great. I have a very good doctor, and he said everything is going well.”

“Just because it’s going well doesn’t guarantee anything,” she whispers.

“I know. But that’s okay. The only way to do this is one day at a time.”

“Are you sleeping enough? Getting rest?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t do anything to put strain on your body,” she adds.

“I won’t.”

Then she looks up, and her eyes are red, and her cheeks are stained, but at least she’s meeting my eyes. “Do you know what you’re having?”

I shake my head. “We decided not to find out.”

“Have you picked out names?”

I shake my head again. “We can’t seem to agree,” I say, laughing. “I like Tom and Henry for a boy, but Trey says they are too traditional. He likes Walker and Travis.”

“What about for a girl?”

“We can’t seem to agree on that, either. What names do you like for girls?”

She presses her lips together tightly, and I can tell she’s trying to rein in another round of tears. She pushes through, speaking quickly. “Allison. That was the name we picked out for a girl.”

I smile. “I like that name.” Then my eyes widen because there he or she goes again. My baby is riding a rollercoaster in my tummy. “I think the baby is doing dives.”

Sadness and memories flood her green eyes. “That was my favorite part,” she says in a choppy whisper.

I reach for her hand, bring it to my belly and place her palm on her grandchild growing inside me.

Her voice breaks again, but she doesn’t move her hand. She keeps it firmly on my stomach, feeling the baby kick against her hand.

The tears are unleashed once more. But this time they aren’t only laced with pain; they are mixed with hope.