False Colours

8

It was some time before Kit was able to detach his mama from the various senior members of the household who were either demanding, or receiving, instructions from her; but he managed to do it at last, and to withdraw with her to the library. Shutting the door upon the ominously hovering form of Miss Rimpton, he said, between laughter and anxiety: “For God’s sake, Mama, tell me the worst! I can’t bear the suspense for another moment! What is the dreadful thing that has brought you here five days before your time? Why all those servants? Why so much baggage?”

“Oh, dear one, do but let me rid myself of this hat before you bombard me with questions!” she begged, untying its strings. “It is giving me the headache, which is too vexatious, for it is quite new, and wickedly expensive! Indeed, if it had not been so excessively becoming I should have refused to purchase it. Except, of course, that when one owes one’s milliner a vast amount of money the only thing to be done is to order several more hats from her. I bought the prettiest lace cap imaginable at the same time: you shall see it this evening, and tell me if you don’t think it becomes me.” She removed the hat from her head, and looked at it critically. “This does, too, I think,” she said. “And what a very smart hat it is, Kit! It’s what you, or Evelyn, would call bang-up to the nines! But it does make my head ache.” She sighed, and added tragically: “There’s no end to the troubles besetting me: first it’s one thing, and then it’s another! And all at the same moment, which quite wears down one’s spirits.”

Accepting the situation as he found it, Kit replied sympathetically: “I know, love! They come not single spies, but in battalions, don’t they?”

“That sounds to me like a quotation,” said her ladyship mistrustfully. “And it is only fair to warn you, Kit, that if you mean, after all I have endured, to recite bits of poetry to me, which I am not at all addicted to, even at the best of times, I shall go into strong convulsions—whatever they may be! Now, isn’t that odd?” she demanded, her mind darting down this promising alley. “One hears people talk of going into convulsions, but have you ever seen anyone do so, dearest?”

“No, thank God!”

“Well, I haven’t either—in fact, I thought they were something babies fell into! Not that my babies ever did anything so alarming. At least, I don’t think you did. I must ask Pinner.”

“Yes, Mama,” he agreed, removing the hat from her hands, and setting it down carefully on a table. “But are you quite positive that this very beautiful bonnet is to blame for your headache? Might it not be the outcome of your journey? You never did like being shut into a post-chaise, did you?”

“No!” she exclaimed, much struck. “I wonder if you could be right? It is beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Quite captivating!” he assured her. “Did you purchase it to console yourself for all the troubles which have descended on you? What, by the way, was the particular trouble which brought you here in such a bang?”

“Kit!” uttered her ladyship. “That terrible old woman is coming to visit us here next week, and she is bringing Cressy with her!” She waited for him to speak, but as he appeared to have been struck dumb, and merely stood staring at her, she sank into a chair, saying: “I knew how it would be if I were obliged to visit her! Well, I knew that no good would come of it, though I didn’t foresee such an ordeal as this. If I had had the smallest notion of it, I would have said I was going to stay at Baverstock—and, what’s more, I would have done so, much as I detest your aunt! But I had already told her that I was coming here, and so the mischief was done. How could I say I wasn’t coming here after all? You must perceive how impossible!”

“Mama!” interrupted Kit, finding his voice. “Do you mean that Lady Stavely is going to give us a look-in on her way to Worthing?”

“No, no, what would there be in that to dash one down? She and Cressy are coming to spend a week or two here!”

“A week or two? But they can’t! they mustn’t be allowed to! Good God, what can have induced you to consent to such a scheme? You surely didn’t invite them?”

“Of course I didn’t!” she said. “Lady Stavely invited herself!”

“But, Mama, how could she have done so’?”

“Good gracious, Kit, I should have thought five minutes in her company would have been enough to show you that there’s nothing she’s not very well able to do! Besides, she led me into a trap. She is the most odious old witch in the world, and she always overpowers me, ever since I was a child, and positively dreaded her! Oh, she is too abominable! Would you believe it?—the instant she clapped eyes on me, she said that she saw I had taken to dyeing my hair! I was never more shocked, for it is quite untrue! It is not dyeing one’s hair merely to restore its colour when it begins to fade a little! I denied it, of course, but all she did was to give the horridest laugh, which made me feel ready to sink, as you may suppose!”

“I don’t suppose anything of the kind!” said Kit, roused to unwonted callousness. “Why should you care a straw for anything Lady Stavely chose to say? It is too absurd!”

His mama’s magnificent eyes flashed. “Is it, indeed?” she said tartly. “I marvel that you should have the effrontery to say such an unfeeling thing, when you know very well that never did your Great-aunt Augusta visit us but what she put you and Evelyn out of countenance within two minutes of seeing you!”

His formidable (and happily defunct) relative having been thus ruthlessly recalled to his mind, Mr Fancot had the grace to retract his unkind stricture. “Less!” he acknowledged. “I beg pardon, love! So then what happened?”

Bestowing a forgiving and perfectly enchanting smile upon him, Lady Denville said: “Well, then, having made me feel as if I were a gawky girl—which, I do assure you, Kit, I never was!—she became suddenly quite affable, and talked to me about you with amazing kindness! Which shows you how cunning she is! For even if she did make me feel as if I were a silly chit I don’t doubt she knew that if she had uttered one word in disparagement of either of my sons, I should—I should have slain her, and walked straight out of the room!”

On the broad grin, Mr Fancot interpolated: “Bravo!”

Lady Denville received this applause with becoming modesty. “Well, dearest, I should have been roused to fury, because nothing enrages me more than injustice! I may be a frivolous widgeon, but I am not so bird-witted that I don’t know that no one ever possessed two such sons as mine! However, Lady Stavely said nothing about you to which I could take exception. Then she told me that although she perfectly acknowledged that Evelyn is a catch of the first water, she had come to perceive that marriages between persons who are not—not thoroughly acquainted with each other don’t always lead to happiness. She said—not in the least exceptionably, but with true kindness!—that she was persuaded I must agree with her. Which I do, Kit! Then she confided to me that although she had wished very much to invite Cressy to live with her, when Stavely married Albinia Gillifoot—oh, Kit, she dislikes Albinia even more than I do! we had the most delightful cose about her!—she had not done so, because she is too old to take her to parties, and so what would become of Cressy when she dies? She said she would be obliged to live with Clara Stavely, and dwindle into an old maid. Which is why she wishes to see her suitably married. Then she said that she believed that, with all my faults, I was truly devoted to my children, and she was persuaded I must feel, as she does, that before coming to a decision Evelyn and Cressy ought to know one another better. Well, dearest, what could I do but agree with her? Especially when she told me that I must be the last person to wish to see my son make an unhappy marriage, for that was what I did myself. I must own, Kit, that I was very much touched!”

His pleasant gray eyes looked steadily down into hers, the suggestion of a smile in them. “Tell me, Mama, were you so unhappy?”

“Often!” she declared. “I have frequently fallen into fits of the most dreadful dejection, and if I were inclined to low-ness of spirit I daresay I should have sunk under the trials that beset me. Only I can never stay for long in the dismals, for something always seems to happen which makes me laugh. You may say that I’m volatile, if you choose, but I do think you should be glad of it, because there is nothing so dreary as ticklish women, behaving like watering-pots at the least provocation, and being for ever in the hips! And in any event my sensibilities have nothing to do with the case! The thing is that as soon as I agreed that it would be desirable for Evelyn and Cressy to become better acquainted Lady Stavely floored me by saying that since I had the intention of joining you here she thought it would be an excellent scheme if she were to bring Cressy on a visit. I hope I didn’t look no-how, but I fear I must have, for she asked, in that sharp way of hers, if I had any objection? Dearest, what could I say but that I thought it a delightful scheme, and only wondered that it hadn’t occurred to me? I may be volatile, but I am not rag-mannered!”

“Couldn’t you have made some excuse? Surely you must have been able to think of something, Mama?”

“I thought of several things, but they would none of them do. Indeed, I had almost said that one of the servants here had begun in the small-pox when it very fortunately struck me that if that had been so you wouldn’t have come to the house. And though I did think of saying that it was you who had the small-pox, I couldn’t but feel that it would be a shocking bore for you to be obliged to remain cooped up here for weeks and weeks—and we must remember, Kit, that Evelyn may come back at any moment! Well, you know what he is! We should never be able to persuade him to take your place in the small-pox.”

“Mama, why, in heaven’s name, small-pox? Scarlet fever in the village would have been much better, if you had to make illness the excuse!”

“Yes, but I couldn’t think of any other illness except the measles, and depend upon it Lady Stavely and Cressy have probably had them already.”

He began to pace up and down the floor, frowning heavily. After a pause, he said: “I shall have to go away—back to Vienna, where, indeed, I must go pretty soon!”

“Go away?” she cried, in the liveliest dismay. “You cannot do so, when the Stavelys are coming purposely to see you! It would be beyond anything!”

“It could be accounted for. I could be taken ill in Vienna, or suffer a serious accident—something very bad! No one would think it odd of Evelyn to go to me immediately!”

“Well, of all the hare-brained notions! Next you will say that no one would think it odd of me to remain in England under such circumstances!”

“Come with me!” he invited, pure mischief in his face.

It was reflected in hers. “Oh, how amusing it would be!” she said involuntarily. Then she shook her head. “No, we couldn’t do it, Kit. Only think what a hobble we should all be in when Evelyn came back! He wouldn’t know what had become of me, and he would be bound to search for me all over. That would fling the cat amongst the pigeons! Dearest, there is nothing for it but to make the best of it. And I must tell you that I have already done so—the best I could, at all events.”

“It won’t do, Mama, Cressy and I should be thrown together in a way that must inevitably lead to a degree of intimacy which on all counts is to be avoided. Good God,that’s why I left London—so that she should not become better acquainted with me!”

“Yes, and I perfectly understand how vexatious it is for you to be obliged to remain strictly upon your guard. But it won’t be as bad as you anticipate! By the most amazing stroke of fortune I found Cosmo waiting for me in Hill Street when I returned from visiting Lady Stavely!”

“Cosmo?” he repeated blankly.

“Yes, Kit: Cosmo!” replied her ladyship, in a tone of determined patience. “My brother Cosmo—your uncle Cosmo! Dearest, must you stand like a stock? You cannot have forgotten him!”

“No, of course I haven’t forgotten him! But why you should think it a stroke of fortune to have found him in Hill Street is a matter quite beyond my comprehension!”

“Now, that,” said his mama triumphantly, “shows that you are much more shatterbrained than I am! Because Cosmo is the very thing we need! And Emma, too, of course. My dear, he must have been sent by providence—which is a thing that frequently happens, I find, when one is in flat despair: like my recalling in the very nick of time, when I thought myself wholly ruined, that I might very well apply to Edgbaston for a loan. Naturally, when I was being driven home from Mount Street, I was racking my brain to think how, at this season, to assemble a party here, which I perceived was most necessary on your account, Kit: to save you from being thrown entirely into Cressy’s company. I couldn’t hit on anyone, except, of course, poor Bonamy, because even if there had been more time at my disposal—and one can’t invite people all in a quack, you know, unless they are relations, or very close friends—no one wants to be in the country during the summer! Unless one is the sort of person who wishes to go on a tour, to observe mountains, and gorges, and the beauties of nature, which is the most exhausting and uncomfortable thing imaginable, I do assure you Kit! I cannot describe to you the miseries I endured when your father made me accompany him to Scotland once. I dare say it was all very fine, but when one has been jolted over abominable roads, and forced to put up at the most primitive inns, besides having to walk for miles and miles, one is in no case to admire scenery.”

“Do I understand, Mama,” said Kit, in a failing voice, “that you have invited Cosmo, and my aunt, to come and stay at Ravenhurst?”

“To be sure I have!” she replied, with a brilliant smile. “And it was exactly what he hoped I should do! At least, I fancy he meant to wheedle me into inviting him to visit us in Brighton, but you know what a nip-cheese he is, Kit! if he can but contrive to live at rack and manger somewhere he is content! In general, he goes to Baverstock in the summer, but it seems that he cannot do so this year, because your Aunt Baverstock won’t have him. I must say, one can’t blame her for not wanting him and poor Emma to be running tame about the house for weeks on end, however detestable one may think her. I have always avoided inviting them myself, though not as rudely as Amelia. But in this instance they are the very persons we need! Only consider, dearest! We scarcely ever see them, so they won’t know you from Evelyn; and they play whist! For chicken-stakes, too, which will exactly suit Lady Stavely. So I told Cosmo he might come—I mean, I invited him and Emma to come, and I said that we should be delighted to welcome Ambrose as well. He may serve to entertain Cressy, perhaps.”

“I’ve nothing to say against having my uncle and aunt to stay: in fact, it’s a good notion, love; but the last time I saw my cousin Ambrose he was the most odious little bounce I ever met in my life!” said Kit, entering a most ungrateful caveat.

“Yes, wasn’t he?” agreed her ladyship, quite unruffled. “But he was only a schoolboy then, after all! I dare say he may have improved. In any event, we are obliged to have him as well, because Cosmo says he means to keep him under his eye during the whole of the Long Vacation, poor boy, and not give him another groat to spend until he goes up to Oxford again in October, on account of his having run monstrously into debt. Or so Cosmo says, but I dare say it is no such thing, and he owes no more than a few hundreds. But what with that, and his having been rusticated last term, it does sound as if he must have improved, doesn’t it? I don’t know why he was rusticated—Cosmo primmed up his mouth when I asked him, so I collect there had been petticoat dealings—but I do know that you and Evelyn were, at the end of one Hilary term, and even your papa only thought it a very good joke!”

Mr Fancot, regarding her with a fascinated eye, drew an audible breath. “No, Mama, I do not think it sounds as if he must have improved! On the contrary, it sounds as if he were growing to be a pretty loose fish! And let me inform you, love, that when Evelyn and I were sent down for the rest of the term, it was not because of petticoat dealings! Merely one of our hoaxes—as a matter of fact, the best rig we ever ran!”

“Well, never mind, dear one!” she said placably. “No doubt it is just as you say! I merely thought that if he is got into debt he does at least sound as if he were more of a Cliffe than Cosmo, who is such a scratch that one can’t help but wonder whether he is not a changeling! It doesn’t signify: indeed, we must hope that Ambrose hasn’t improved too much, because it would never do if Cressy were to develop a tendre for him. You do perceive that things won’t be so very bad, don’t you?”

“To be sure!” he responded, with suspicious alacrity. “You have behaved in the nackiest way, Mama, so that all we have to do now is to hope that Lady Stavely will find my uncle and aunt so intolerably boring that she will rapidly bring her visit to a close.”

She rose, and picked up her hat from the table. Brushing Kit’s chin with its plumes, she retorted: “On the contrary, there is a great deal more to be done—though I know very well you won’t concern yourself with the preparations that must be made, horrid creature that you are! And though I dare say Lady Stavely will think Cosmo and Emma dead bores, she will be pleased to see Bonamy, don’t you agree? She has been acquainted with him for ever, and he is a very fine whist-player!”

Kit gasped. “Good God, I thought that was nothing but a bubble! You don’t mean to tell me you’ve really persuaded Ripple to leave Brighton to come into the country, which he dislikes quite as much as you do, and play chicken-whist with a griffin like Lady Stavely?”

She lifted a saucy eyebrow at him. “What makes you suppose there was any need of persuasion, Master Rudesby?”

“I beg your pardon, Mama! But this is devotion indeed!”

She chuckled. “Yes, but the truth is that he is excessively good-natured, besides having been in the habit for years and years of thinking he loves me better even than his dinner. He doesn’t, of course, but I never let him suspect that I know it. Which reminds me that I must take care to see that his favourite dishes are set before him. Yes, and to speak to the cook about sending to Brighton every day to procure fresh fish. Then, since we are at Ravenhurst, I think we must hold a Public Day, which we didn’t last year, because of being in mourning for Papa. Oh, dear, what a vast quantity of things “must be attended to! I shouldn’t wonder at it if I were prostrate by the time our guests arrive!”

For the following few days the household was certainly plunged into a vortex of activity, but my lady’s part in all the preparations was confined to issuing a great many contradictory orders, forming and abandoning several ineligible plans for the entertainment of her guests, and sending the under-servants on errands which were afterwards discovered to have been unnecessary. Tempers became frayed, but no one bore my lady the least ill-will, so charmingly did she give her orders, and so prettily did she thank anyone who performed a service for her. Instead,—and until Kit put his foot down, sternly informing the senior members of the staff that he wished to hear no more complaints from any of them—the London servants and the resident-servants blamed each other for every mistake or hitch that occurred; and a state of guerrilla warfare raged in the Room and in the Hall. The only two people to remain unaffected were Miss Rimpton, who held herself loftily aloof from any matter which did not immediately concern the care of my lady’s wardrobe and her exquisite person; and the cook, who listened with the greatest civility to his mistress’s orders and reminders, and continued to rule his kingdom exactly as he thought fit.

During this mercifully brief period of stress Kit was afforded a closer view of his parent’s extravagance than had ever before been granted him. Before her arrival he had been surprised to discover that the smart new barouche which he encountered in the avenue was one of her latest acquisitions. It was drawn by a pair of good-looking bays; and the coachman, drawing up, and touching his hat, told him that he was just bringing them in after their daily exercise. Kit, mentally assessing the turn-out at £300, or more, was startled, for not only did he know that Lady Denville owned another, and even smarter, barouche, in which she was driven about London, but also that there were several carriages in the coach-house at Ravenhurst, one of which was a comfortable landaulet. It was later explained to him, by Challow, that since landaulets were now considered to be dowdy it was not to be expected that my lady would ride in one, even when staying in the country. Upon Kit’s venturing to suggest to his mama that it was really a trifle wasteful to have purchased a second expensive carriage and pair merely for her use during her short and infrequent visits to Ravenhurst, she assured him that he was quite mistaken; and proved, to her own satisfaction, if not to his, that it was by far more economical to keep a second barouche and pair (with her own second coachman) at Ravenhurst, than to go to the trouble and expense of bringing her town equipage down to Sussex.

Since she had been assailed before leaving Hill Street by one of her fortunately rare fits of housewifely fervour, Mrs Norton, and Mr Dawlish, my lady’s extremely competent cook, were astonished, and considerably affronted, by the arrival of the carrier, who disgorged from his ponderous wagon a staggering number of cases, which were found to contain, amongst other household necessities, forty-eight pounds of wax lights, and two casks of Genuine Spermaceti Oil, from the firm of Barret, of St James’s, Hay-market; two Westphalian hams; several pounds of Hyson tea, Superfine Vanilla, and Treble-refined Sugar, from Peter Le Moine, at the sign of the Green Canister, in King Street; a large quantity of wafers, from Gunter’s; and half-a-dozen strange but obviously costly pieces of furniture, presently identified by her ladyship as flower-stands, which she had happened to catch sight of on one of her shopping expeditions, and had instantly recognized as being Just the Thing for Ravenhurst. She explained the purchase of the candles and the groceries to Kit on very reasonable grounds: how could she have been sure that Mrs Norton, who had been for so short a period housekeeper at Ravenhurst, had laid in a sufficient store of these commodities? Furthermore, she had been reared in the belief that true economy lay in buying the best, and as it was her ineradicable conviction that the best could only be obtained in London, or in Paris, the merest common sense had prompted her to make good possible deficiencies in Mrs Norton’s cupboards and stillroom. But since Mrs Norton prided herself on her competence and foresight her sensibilities were seriously ruffled, until Lady Denville explained, with her most engaging smile, that she had ordered all these groceries only because she knew how vexatious it was to be obliged to provide for guests at a moment’s notice, and had been determined to spare her housekeeper as much trouble as she could. Mr Dawlish, far better acquainted with his mistress, received her excuses with a polite bow, but said that he preferred to make his own wafers—though the ones sent by Gunter would serve very well for the Public Day—and that if her ladyship would be so obliging as to furnish him with the name and direction of the firm from which she had ordered a turtle he would write immediately to cancel the order, having already made his own arrangements for the delivery of a fine turtle at Ravenhurst. Further, that he had personally selected, and brought from London with him, one York and one Westphalian ham, which he ventured to think would meet all requirements.

“Only, what does her ladyship wish me to do with all that Spermaceti Oil, my lord?” asked the harassed Mrs Norton. “There’s not an oil-lamp in the house, barring the one that hangs in the kitchen, and Common Oil is what we burn in that, not Spermaceti, at seven shillings and sixpence the gallon!”

Having dealt as well as he could with this and other vexed questions, Mr Fancot was faced with the task of convincing his parent that to send one of the grooms to HillStreet for the purpose of obtaining from Mrs Dinting, or from Brigg, the hundreds of invitation cards she had forgotten to bring with her to Ravenhurst, and which would be discovered in the second drawer of her desk—or, failing that cache, in one of five other hiding-places—would be very much more costly than to order new ones from a Brighton stationer. He succeeded, but not without difficulty, Lady Denville being a little hurt by his failure to recognize her effort towards economy. It remained only for him to drop a tactful hint in the ear of the steward, to the effect that the scrawled directions received from my lady’s bedchamber, while, banked up by lace-edged pillows, she consumed a light breakfast, should be brought to him before being carried out; and to approve the various bills of fare laid before him by Mr Dawlish. That artist, quick to perceive that my lord—doubtless because he contemplated marriage—had reformed his careless habits, lost no time in turning this improvement to good account. No one was more devoted to her ladyship; no one knew better what dishes to set before her to tempt her capricious appetite; no one was more willing to work himself to death in her interests; but (as he informed Mrs Norton, in a moment of condescension) when it came to planning a series of handsome dinners he preferred to lay his proposals before my lord, who, far from turning them topsy-turvy, and demanding game birds that were not in season in place of as tender a pair of turkey poults as anyone could wish for, could be trusted to cast no more than a cursory glance over the bills of fare before signifying his approval of them. However, said Mr Dawlish indulgently, there was no call for Mrs Norton to get into the fidgets: when she had been acquainted with my lady for as long as he had she would know that her starts never lasted above a day or two.

So, indeed, it proved. By the time the first guests arrived on Tuesday my lady was herself again, her final activity having been to drift through the flower-gardens, holding up a parasol to protect her complexion from the sun, and pointing out to the head gardener the blooms she wished to see in her six new containers. The effect was all that she had been sure it would be, for the gardener was expert in flower-arrangement; and since she watched him at work, several times choosing, and handing to him, a spray from the basket held by one of his satellites, and proffering a number of suggestions, she was convinced, by the end of the morning, that she had filled all the containers herself, with only a little assistance from him.

The first arrivals were the Hon. Cosmo and Mrs Cliffe, and Mr Ambrose Cliffe, their sole surviving offspring. They came in a somewhat antiquated travelling chariot, drawn by one pair of horses: a circumstance which caused my lady to exclaim: “Good God, Cosmo, did you hire that shocking coach, or is it your own? I wonder you will be seen in such a Gothic affair!”

Mr Cliffe, who was a tall, spare man, some few years older than his sister, replied, as he dutifully kissed her cheek, that post-charges were too heavy for his modest purse. “We are not all of us as fortunately circumstanced as you, my dear Amabel,” he said.

“Nonsense!” responded her ladyship. “I dare say your purse is fatter than mine, for you never spend a groat out of the way. It is quite abominable of you to have brought poor Emma here, jumbling and jolting in a horrid old coach which strongly reminds me of the one Grandpapa had, and which always made Grandmama sea-sick! Dear Emma, how much I pity you, and how glad I am to see you—though not looking as stout as one would wish! I shall take you up to your bedchamber immediately, and see you laid down to rest before dinner.”

Mrs Cliffe, a flaccid woman, with weak blue eyes, and a sickly complexion, responded, with an indeterminate smile, and in a curiously flat voice, that she was pretty well, except for a slight headache.

“I shouldn’t wonder at it if every inch of you ached!” said her ladyship, shepherding her into the house.

“Oh, no, indeed! If only Ambrose may not have caught cold!”

“My dear Emma, how could he possibly have done so on such a day as this?”

“His constitution is so delicate,” sighed Mrs Cliffe. “He was sitting forward, too, and I am persuaded there was a draught. Perhaps if he were to swallow a few drops of camphor—I have some in my dressing-case—”

“If I were you I wouldn’t encourage him to quack himself!” said Lady Denville frankly.

“No, dear, but your sons are so remarkably healthy, are they not?” said Mrs Cliffe, looking at her with faint compassion.

But as her ladyship was not one of those mothers who considered that delicacy of constitution conferred an interesting distinction on her children, the compassion was wasted. She said blithely: “Yes, thank goodness! They never ail, though they did have the measles, and the whooping-cough, when they were small. They may have had chicken-pox too, but I can’t remember it.”

Mrs Cliffe admired her lovely sister-in-law, but she could not help feeling that she must be a very heartless parent to have forgotten such an event in the lives of her sons. Perhaps Cosmo was right, when he said that Amabel cared for nothing but fashionable frivolities. But when Lady Denville presently left her, comfortably reposing on a day-bed, with a shawl cast lightly over her feet, a handkerchief soaked with her ladyship’s very expensive eau-de-cologne in her hand, and the blinds drawn to shut out the sunshine, she decided that no one so kind and so attentive could be heartless, however fashionable she might be.

Meanwhile, Kit had led his uncle and his cousin into one of the saloons on the ground floor where various liquid refreshments of a fortifying nature awaited them. Although an engrained parsimony prompted Cosmo to stock his own cellar with indifferent wine, his palate was not so vitiated that he did not know good wine from bad. After a sniff, and an appreciative sip, his expression became almost benign, and he said, with a nod at Kit: “Ah!”

“A very tolerable sherry, coz!” said Ambrose, not to be outdone.

“Much you know about it!” said his father scornfully. “Sherry, indeed! This is some of the Mountain-Malaga your uncle laid down—let me see!—ay, it must be thirteen or fourteen years ago! It wants another year or two yet, Denville, to be at its prime, for the longer the Spanish Mountain wines are allowed to mature the better they become. But it is very potable! Alas, what is now being sold as Malaga is a travesty of the Mountain wines I drank in my youth!” He took another sip, and favoured his nephew with a smile. “I collect, my dear boy, that I shall shortly be called upon to offer you my felicitations. Very right! very proper! I live out of the world nowadays, but I understand that Miss Stavely is an unexceptionable female: I look forward to making her acquaintance. Your dear mother tells me that the match has Brumby’s approval, so I must suppose that Miss Stavely’s portion is handsome?”

“I regret, sir, that I can give you no information on that point, since I have no ideas what her portion may be,” said Kit, regarding him with disfavour.

Cosmo looked shocked, but said, after a moment’s reflection: “But it is not to be supposed that your uncle Brumby would favour the match if it were not so! To be sure, you were born to all the comfort of a handsome fortune, Denville, but it must cost a great deal of money—a very great deal of money!—to maintain an establishment such as this, and the house in London, to say nothing of the little place you own in Leicestershire. Then, too, your father, I dare say, made suitable provision for your brother, and that must mean a considerable diminution of your income.”

“As though Denville wasn’t full of juice!” muttered young Mr Cliffe into his wineglass.

Happily, Cosmo did not hear this interpolation. He seemed to take almost as much interest in his nephew’s financial situation as in his own; and continued, for as long as it took him to drink three glasses of Malaga, to speculate on the probable yield of my lord’s estates; the number of servants needed to keep so large a mansion in order; the cost of maintaining such extensive flower-gardens; and the extortionate rates demanded for houses in Mayfair. To do him justice, his interest, and his energetic plans for the reduction of his nephew’s expenses, were entirely altruistic: he had nothing to gain; but almost as much as he liked to save money for himself did he like to evolve plans whereby other people’s money could be saved. He was listened to politely by his nephew, and by his son with a mixture of rancour and embarrassment. That young gentleman, as soon as Cosmo had left the room, was so ill-advised as to beg Kit not to pay any heed to him. “He always talks as if he was purse-pinched—it’s his way! It’s bad enough when he starts that tug-jaw at home, but when he does it in company it’s beyond anything!”

Kit was not unsympathetic, for he could readily perceive that to a nineteen-year-old, unsure of himself, yet anxious to be thought all the go., Cosmo must be a severe trial; but he thought his cousin’s speech extremely unbecoming, and somewhat pointedly changed the subject. It was to no avail. Ambrose continued to animadvert bitterly and at length on his father’s shortcomings until Kit lost patience, and told him roundly that his complaints did him no credit. “I don’t wonder at it that my uncle should have taken your doings in snuff! Lord, could you find nothing better to do at Oxford than to visit the fancy-houses? As for rustication, let me tell you, cawker, that Eve—” He caught himself up, and swiftly altered the word he had been about to utter—“that even Kit and I weren’t rusticated because we had got into the petticoat line! In our day we left such stuff to the baggagery! As for boasting of having given some wretched ladybird a slip on the shoulder—”

“I didn’t boast of it!” blurted out Mr Cliffe, blushing fierily. “I only said—”

“Oh, yes, you did!” said Kit grimly. “And if I were you I’d keep mum for that, halfling!”

Much discomposed, Ambrose muttered: “Well, you’re no saint, Denville! Everyone knows that!”

“No, and nor am I a Queer Nab, which is what you’ll be, if you don’t take care!” said Kit, with cheerful brutality. He laughed suddenly. “Come, don’t be such a gudgeon, Ambrose! You are making me forget I’m your host.”

“Well, considering they still talk of the things you and Kit did, when you was up, it’s the outside of enough for you to be pinching at me!” said Ambrose, much injured.

“Do they? Famous!” said Kit, his eyes lighting with sudden laughter. “I’ll swear they don’t say, though, that we wasted our time chasing the white-aprons!”