chapter 30

They had reached the finale, and Chandra wasn’t surprised when Samuel Meier gathered them an hour before the show and told them the results. The winner they would announce that night was Zoey Davis. The girl who had captured America’s hearts with her face and voice, the other half of the Romeo and Juliet team.

The second finalist was Kent Jordan, the married guy whose goal had remained the same throughout the show. He had told America that if he won, he’d sing for a Christian label. He knew who he was, his style, his genre. The show hadn’t changed him.

Chandra took her place on the panel with the other two judges. Cameras would roll soon and excitement buzzed through Carnegie Hall. From her place, Chandra waved at the audience and then spotted Kent near Zoey, the two of them talking to Kip. Since Zack’s departure, Chandra had taken to praying for Kent. His second-place finish was an answer, she had no doubt.

Suddenly she remembered Zack. He had to be in the audience. The top ten contestants had been brought back for tonight. They would perform as a group early in the show, and then after Kip Barker crowned Zoey as the season’s winner, the group would join her onstage for the final song while confetti rained down. Chandra scanned the audience, but she couldn’t see Zack or the others in the front section. They were probably backstage preparing.

Chandra looked at the stage and studied Zoey Davis, the girl who was about to win it all. Zoey would have a much harder time with the fame than Kent would have. Chandra didn’t like to think about the pressure and changes and celebrity that awaited Zoey in the pop world where she planned to make her mark. Her win hadn’t even been announced, and already every talk show and variety magazine wanted a piece of her. The teenager had no idea how her life was about to change.

The frenzy onstage and in the wings continued to build, but Chandra remained quiet, reflecting. Remembering. In Zoey’s interview last week, she had said the same thing Chandra had said the week before her own win. “This means everything to me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Chandra narrowed her eyes. Would the girl look back and regret those words? How badly would she wish to climb into some special moment from her past, before her first audition?

Chandra clicked open the photo album on her phone. She pulled up the picture. Her parents and her fiancé standing beside her. The moment she still tried to live in. Tears stung her eyes and she shut her phone. Often she had wondered how it had happened, how she’d become so famous overnight. Here at the end of her ride as a judge, she had the answers. The show needed to create a celebrity each season. Someone to stir interest and drive ratings and draw another hundred thousand kids out to auditions when summer came around again.

She was part of a machine. All of it made sense now.

She took a deep breath. They had a little time before the show went live. The energy onstage grew more intense and every seat in Carnegie Hall was filled. As Cullen told them about a few added commercial breaks, Chandra felt someone come up beside her. She turned and there he was. “Zack! You’re here!”

“I got in a few hours ago.”

“You’ll sing in the group number?”

“I will.” He looked deeply at her. “You were right. About the cost.”

“Yes.” She searched his eyes. “Did you make it home before she left?”

“I did.” He leaned closer, keeping it private. “I told her I was sorry.”

“And . . .” She wanted to believe the girl had changed her mind, that she’d forgiven Zack and stayed in Kentucky. But she could see that wasn’t the case.

“We had a few minutes in the airport, but she left. She . . . doesn’t want me.”

Chandra’s heart felt heavy. “I’m sorry.”

He smiled. “My family and I, we’re doing well. I’m so grateful . . .” He looked up to the stage where Zoey and Kent were getting final makeup touches. He didn’t have to finish his sentence. He looked at Chandra again. “Thank you.”

She nodded. “I heard you got a publishing deal.”

“I did.” His smile reached his eyes, and for the first time since his Atlanta audition she could see all the way to his soul. “I’ll be songwriting from Kentucky, driving into Nashville once a month to meet with the label.”

“Perfect.” She wanted to raise her hands in a victory dance. Zack had lost his girl, but he had escaped with his life. There would be no prison cell for Zack Dylan. She’d seen him in a number of interviews since his exit. He would be fine. She smiled at him. “Your family?”

“The publishing deal came with an advance. We saved the farm.”

Chandra couldn’t speak. Happy tears welled up and she nodded.

“Oh, and AJ’s doing better. She has a new doctor.”

Chandra took Zack’s hands in her own. “All of that . . . it’s exactly what I prayed for.”

“God is good.”

She felt the words to her core. The phrase was something she remembered from her parents, back when she was growing up. She finished the saying. “All the time.” No words could’ve touched her heart more.

Zack had to take his seat in the front row with the other finalists. As he did, Chandra was overcome with a feeling as fulfilling as it was unfamiliar. Despite everything she’d lost, and regardless of the fame she would never escape, something was true that hadn’t been true before.

Her life had meaning.

ZACK FELT THE cameras on him and the others as the final show began. Something was different now. The cameras didn’t linger. He was no longer the one everyone talked about. That honor belonged to Zoey and Kent.

A few minutes into the program a production assistant led the group backstage. For the first time, Zack saw Zoey. She had makeup and hair people on either side of her, and a bodyguard giving her instructions for the moment the show was finished. Somehow amid the chaos she must’ve sensed him watching her, because she turned and their eyes met. She mouthed, “Hi.”

He raised his hand and did the same. The two of them hadn’t talked since his departure, and Zack doubted they would. Their run on the show was the only thing they’d ever had in common. He wondered if anyone had told her about Jesus. It was still something he wanted to do—though now he didn’t know when he’d get the chance. He did pray for her now and then.

But they had both moved on.

“Okay, people, you’re on in five.” The production assistant was the same. All of it was familiar—the setting and people and frenzied minutes backstage. But something else was different. Zack smiled when he realized what it was.

He no longer belonged.

The group number was one of their strongest yet, and Zack returned to his seat with the others to watch the show. Seated beside him were the newly married Nolan Cook and his wife, Ellie. Nolan was a star NBA player with the Atlanta Hawks, a guy known as much for his faith and good works as his jump shot. Not long ago Nolan and Ellie’s story had run in People magazine, and Zack had read it. Nolan was the real deal, a guy who had never compromised his faith or his love . . . despite the crazy temptations of the world he lived in. When he and Ellie were seated, Nolan introduced himself. Then he talked to Zack about joining his online Bible study. “Us guys need it.” Nolan had his arm around his pretty wife. “The world will eat you alive otherwise.”

“I’m in, definitely.” Zack had been surprised that Nolan Cook even knew who he was. But he jumped at the chance to join the athlete’s Bible study.

Now during the commercial break, Nolan leaned closer. “You were awesome in the group number.”

“Thanks.” Zack raised his brow. “I was afraid everyone could see. You know, that my heart isn’t in it anymore.”

“Not at all.” Nolan slung his arm around Zack’s shoulder and spoke lower than before. “Can I confess something?”

“Sure, man.”

“I was praying you’d get kicked off.”

Zack chuckled. “You and everyone I know.”

“And me.” Ellie leaned over her husband’s knees. “Add me to the list.”

They all laughed and Nolan leaned back toward Ellie. The couple was beautiful, the picture of young married love. They were exactly how Zack had hoped to look when he married Reese. He held the image of the two for a few seconds and then looked away. He had lost too much to think about.

The show continued and a number of celebrity guests performed including Chandra, whose new single would release tomorrow. Zack watched her perform, the grace and confidence, the way she owned the stage. She had told him once that she felt most alive when she was performing. When no one stood guard over her, no one could get to her.

Moments like this.

Zack watched one famous singer after another take the stage. What were they thinking? Deep inside when the noise grew dim? He shivered, thinking how close he’d come to being one of them. While Selena Gomez sang her new hit, Zack’s mind drifted back to the first days after he came home. He had held a meeting with his family and apologized. He told them how he hadn’t represented them well, and how sorry he was. Everyone forgave him. Grandpa Dan remained the most upset, but more because of Zack’s losing Reese. “I’ll believe she’s the girl for you as long as I live,” his grandpa had told him when the others left the room. “Don’t give up.”

Zack had promised he wouldn’t. He didn’t deserve it, but he prayed every day that God would give him another chance with Reese Weatherly. He wondered if she’d seen his interviews after his kickoff. His comments that next week made headlines, even though that wasn’t his intent.

Someone had asked him about his thoughts on shows like Fifteen Minutes, the wonderful opportunity provided for people who might not be discovered otherwise. It was a chance to simply nod and smile and confirm that singing competition shows were a tremendous gift to singers everywhere.

That wasn’t what he said.

“The whole thing kind of troubles me, actually,” he had said several times that week. “People were never meant to be idols. We aren’t supposed to be worshipped. Only God deserves that kind of praise.”

For a full day that was all the news could talk about. “Zack Dylan Criticizes Fifteen Minutes.” Pundits called him a hypocrite and a sore loser. Then the commotion died down and the media tired of him. Zoey quickly became more interesting.

Nicki Minaj joined Selena onstage, but Zack was too lost in thought to hear their song. He turned his eyes to Zoey, sitting to the side of the stage with Kent. The battle for her sanity had only begun. There was no telling the traps and pitfalls that lay ahead for her whether she won or not.

Zack thought about his own future in music. His first song had already been picked up by Keith Urban—“Her Blue Eyes.” Radio hosts were saying the single could be the singer’s biggest hit in a while. Zack couldn’t get over God’s grace, the way he was being allowed to do what he loved and stay in Kentucky with his family and his church.

But he would never get over what he’d lost for the sake of Fifteen Minutes.

His Reese.

She had texted him just once since she left. He had read the message so many times he knew her words by heart. We both lost over all this, Zack. But I have to ask you to respect my decision. Please . . . don’t contact me. I have to move on to whatever God has next for me.

Her words had all but destroyed him. Though he would respect her wishes, he wouldn’t give up. Not until he heard she was engaged or taking up permanent residence in Europe. Until then he would keep praying, keep believing that somehow, somewhere down the road they might have a second chance.

The show was winding down, the buildup leaving everyone in the audience on the edge of their seat. Again he and the other finalists were escorted to the backstage door as the announcement was made.

Sure enough, the winner of season ten was Zoey Davis. On cue the group ran onto the stage as fireworks exploded and confetti fell over Carnegie Hall. They surrounded her, congratulating her the way they were supposed to. Then they took their places and joined her in the song that always ended a season of Fifteen Minutes. “Tell Me to Breathe” filled the concert hall. The song talked about being caught up in a dream, unable to believe that this moment was actually happening.

As the song ended, Zack spotted Kelly Morgan’s husband and kids in the front section of the audience. Beside them were two older people, a woman and a frail-looking man. Kelly’s parents, no doubt. Last Zack heard, Kelly’s father was still in remission. So much had happened in the last three months, not all of it bad.

When the show ended, the audience was ushered out and the finalists and judges and production team gathered onstage. The celebration continued, everyone congratulating Zoey and wishing one another well. Zack thought about approaching her, congratulating her or telling her that he’d been praying for her. But she was surrounded by far too many people, already being pulled into the life she would live from this day on.

Zoey Davis, superstar.

Zack slipped through the door to the backstage. He was ready to leave, but there was one thing he had to do first. He found a quiet corner and pulled out his phone. In no time he was on Zoey’s personal Facebook page. Through private message he wrote her a note that said what he hadn’t said earlier, what he hadn’t found time to say.

Hey, it’s me. Zack. You were busy tonight, so I thought I’d tell you congratulations this way. Mostly because I have something else to tell you. First, I owe you an apology, Zoey. I didn’t want to wait another day before I said so. I’m sorry. How I acted over the last few months was wrong, and it wasn’t me. I should’ve been a better friend to you. A better boyfriend to Reese.

Also, you asked me a couple times about Jesus—how to pray and all. I told you it’s easy. You just talk to Him like you’d talk to a friend. But I guess I wanted to be more specific. Talking to God isn’t the biggest part of it. The biggest part is getting right with Him, asking Him to be your Savior. Basically none of us can get to heaven on our own. We’re too messed up—I’m proof of that. So we need to admit the things we’ve done wrong and ask Jesus to forgive us. Then we need to ask Him to be our Savior.

That’s what I should’ve told you when we were together.

Living for God is a little more complicated—that’s why it’s good to find a church and a Bible. It’s a journey, for sure. Along the way you can talk to God whenever you want. I hope that makes sense. I’ll pray that you’ll look into it. Jesus is the only way out of here alive.

That’s all, really. Again, I’m sorry. Be careful with all that’s ahead. And remember this—no one loves you as much as Jesus does.

Your friend, Zack

He read the note again before he sent it. As he did, a weight lifted from his shoulders. He pulled a beanie from his backpack and slipped it on. Then quietly he stepped out the side door onto West Fifty-seventh Street. He blended into the crowds as he walked in the other direction. A few blocks away he hailed a cab. “LaGuardia, please,” he told the driver. He would be home before midnight, which was good. Tomorrow would be a busy day.

He had breakfast scheduled on the front porch with Grandpa Dan.

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