Fine Lines

Chapter Seven

The rest of the day was awful. It was an afternoon when everything seemed to take spiteful pleasure in going wrong. My accountants called to tell me they had lost half of my records when their computer crashed. Shortly after that I discovered that a prospective customer had died, and would therefore not be collecting the water colour he had bought only two days before. Furthermore, a full refund would be appreciated, his daughter, a mercenary-minded young harpy, informed me. And to cap the day off, my pen leaked in my jacket pocket, creating an indelible blue stain the size of a fifty-pence piece.

My stomach burned, irritably. Even the fact that Anna wore only a thin shirt, tantalisingly hinting at the shape of her breasts, failed to improve matters. Normally I could have watched her indefinitely, but right then, not knowing what had happened between her and Zeppo, the sight only tormented me.

I decided enough was enough and closed early, stopping off at the chemists for a stronger stomach treatment on the way home. I cooked myself a bland meal of scrambled eggs, washed the dishes, and was just wondering what to do next to pass the time when the doorbell rang. I looked at my watch. It was only half-past six. Much too soon for Zeppo. I went to the front door and opened it.

Zeppo was standing on the top step. “Oh. I wasn’t expecting you yet,” I said, stupidly.

“Are you going to let me in, or do I have to stand out here all night?”

I moved to one side to let him pass. “You’re early,” I repeated, moving into the lounge. Nerves and his premature arrival conspired to make me clumsy and self-conscious.

“Do you want me to go and come back later?”

“No, of course not. I just...” I cut my losses. “Drink?”

He accepted, tersely, and sat down. I poured one for myself, despite my indigestion. Zeppo’s manner implied I might need it. If he was baiting me, he was taking it to extremes.

I handed him his drink and tried to appear relaxed. “So,” I said. “What happened this afternoon?”

He took a heavy mouthful of whisky. His jaw muscles bunched and worked.

“The bitch blew me out.”

The room seemed to tilt. I stared at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean she said no.”

“No?”

“Yes, no! Christ, do you want me to spell it out?”

I still could not accept it. “She actually turned you down?”

“Yes! She actually turned me down! Is that clear enough now?”

It was beginning to be. I sat opposite him. “Why?”

“Because the stupid bitch won’t two-time that scrawny little prick, that’s why!”

“You surely didn’t ask her as bluntly as that?”

He sneered at me. “Oh, credit me with a bit of sense! Of course I didn’t! I didn’t have to, she stubbed me out before I had a chance to ask anything!”

I closed my eyes, kneading them. “I think you’d better tell me exactly what happened.”

“I want another drink first.”

I took his glass and refilled it, topping up my own as well. Zeppo received it back without thanks.

“She must have been expecting something,” he said, after swallowing half of it. “It was going fine at first. We were having a laugh, getting along great. Then I asked her if she wanted to go out for a drink with me one night, and she said she didn’t think that would be a good idea. I asked why not, and she said because Marty wouldn’t like it. So I said that he needn’t know, and she just said, “I think I know what you’re leading up to, and I’d rather you didn’t.” I thought she was just playing hard to get, you know, wanting me to coax her, so I gave her the full works, about how I couldn’t help how I felt, and all that sort of shit, but she didn’t budge. She just cut me dead! Came out with crap about how she’d had a feeling this was coming, and that she was flattered, but that she loved Marty, and she’d rather us leave it at that. Then the bitch even had the fucking nerve to say she valued me as a friend! Me! I couldn’t believe it! I felt like knocking that fucking understanding look off her face!”

I was too numb to react to his language. “What did you say to her?”

“What the fuck could I say? She made it pretty plain she didn’t want to play ball. She’s not interested in anyone else except that wimp!”

I took another drink. The spirit seared my stomach. I barely noticed. “So much for your assurances. I thought you said she was “primed and ready”, I think it was?”

“Don’t get fucking smart with me! How was I to know she was a freak? Jesus, I could have a dozen better-looking girls than her just by snapping my fingers!”

“Then it’s a pity she’s as immune to your digits as she is to the rest of you! I knew this was too soon!”

“Oh, and you’re such an expert, aren’t you? If you’re so experienced why don’t you see if you can do any better yourself?”

With an effort, I bit back further recriminations. “I suppose what’s done is done. Arguing isn’t going to change it. We’d better decide what we’re going to do next.”

Zeppo stared moodily into his glass. “What can we do? She’s made it clear she doesn’t want to know.”

“You’re surely not going to give up that easily?”

“You tell me what else we can do, then! If we’d got more time, all right, but we haven’t! She’s emigrating in a few weeks, for fuck’s sake!”

“So that’s it, then? One refusal, and you let yourself be beaten by someone like Marty?”

“It’s not my fault there’s a deadline!”

“Perhaps it’s just as well there is. At least it gives you an excuse.”

“Don’t push it, Donald.”

“I’m not. I’m merely stating the obvious. I expected better from you than this.”

“Tough shit.”

This bickering was getting us nowhere. “There must be something we can do!”

He shrugged. “Short of drugging her, I can’t think of anything.” He looked at me. “That’s not a bad idea, come to think of it.”

“No!” The thought appalled me.

“Suit yourself.” He tossed back the rest of his drink. “I just wish I’d told the bitch that her precious boyfriend is as bent as a butcher’s hook. See how romantic she felt about him then.”

I had forgotten all about that. “You didn’t say anything about it?”

He shook his head. “No, I wish I had. I was so surprised I didn’t think about it until afterwards.” He looked at me, smiling nastily. “Mind you, it’s not too late, is it?”

I took his glass and went to refill it. “Coming from you now, it would only sound like sour grapes.”

“So what? It would still drop Marty in the shit, wouldn’t it? I can’t see her wanting to rush off to America with him then.”

“But what if she already knows? That would finish your chances once and for all.”

He took the glass from me. “They’re not exactly brilliant anyway, are they?”

“No, but if you antagonise her they’ll be even worse.”

He shrugged. “Okay. I’ll get Stevie to do it, then. He’s the one who saw him, after all. We can arrange for him to meet them accidentally, and he can drop it into the conversation.”

I was only half-listening. An idea was starting to form. “I don’t like the idea of involving anyone else. It only complicates things.”

“So what do you suggest? We’ve only got a few weeks left. What else can we do?”

“That depends.” I spoke slowly. “Perhaps we’ve been approaching this from the wrong angle.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been concentrating on seducing Anna away from Marty. We might have better luck trying the other way around.”

He frowned. “You mean work on him again?”

“It’s worth a try. And this time, now we know which way his preferences lie, we can try someone more suitable than your femme fatale.”

Zeppo looked thoughtful. “Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. I could have a word with Stevie. It might cost, but I’m sure we could work something out.”

I swirled the liquid in my glass, choosing my words carefully. “I wasn’t thinking about using him. As I said, I don’t want to involve anyone else.”

Zeppo stared at me. “You better not mean what I think you do.”

“Why not? It seems to make the most sense.”

An incredulous smile spread across his face. “Hang on a minute. Let’s get this straight. Now you want me to try and seduce Marty’? Is that right?”

“In a nutshell, yes.”

He began to laugh. “I’ve got to hand it to you, Donald. You don’t do things by halves, do you? First you hire me to get Anna into bed, and now you want me to try with her boyfriend! Jesus Christ!”

“I realise you’ll probably want a higher fee, of course.”

“Oh, that’s very decent of you. But there’s no need. I’m not doing it.”

“I really think you should reconsider.”

“Forget it.” His laughter had gone. “What the hell do you think I am?”

I made the mistake of trying to be humorous. “To paraphrase an old joke, I think we both know what you are. It’s just the price that’s in doubt.”

Zeppo slammed the glass down. “Get fucked, Donald!” He began to walk to the door.

I followed him. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you, but I really can’t see where the problem is.”

He turned on me. “Oh, come on! I’m sure even you must have a pretty good idea! She’s a girl. He’s a boy. So am I.”

“Does that make any difference?”

“Of course it fucking does!”

“Is that your only objection?”

“Christ, isn’t that enough?”

I stood up. “Wait here.” I went past him to the door. “Help yourself to another drink.”

I left him standing there, enjoying the bemused expression on his face. I went into my study, to the small wall safe I kept there. I opened it and took out a large brown envelope. I was about to play my trump card.

V Zeppo was sitting down when I returned. He had refilled his glass, I noticed. I thought, not without satisfaction, that he would need it. I handed him the envelope and sat down opposite him.

He looked at it. “What’s this?”

“Open it and see.”

I watched as he put down his glass and slid out the photographs. He looked at the first one and stiffened. Then, with studied casualness he flicked through the rest.

“Where did you get these?” He set them down beside him. His voice was calm, but not reassuringly so.

“From a business associate. He specialises in rather more, shall we say ‘rarified’, types of art than most dealers. I was surprised to see these there. Normally he doesn’t deal with photographic material, but I suppose the strong classical themes of these helped sway him. And they are quite well done. I daresay you could justifiably call them art instead of pornography, although I’m not sure everyone would agree.”

“How long have you had them?”

I picked them up and replaced them in the envelope. “Quite a while. I actually saw them months ago, long before I had any inkling that I would be needing your services. I recognised you straight away, of course. That’s one disadvantage of having such a memorable face. Not that I thought anything of it at the time. You were just someone I’d bumped into at a couple of dinner parties, and since I’m not particularly interested in photography, whatever the subject matter, I was only mildly amused. In fact I forgot all about it until I decided I needed help with Anna and Marty. Then you seemed like the ideal candidate. So I went back to my associate, and as luck would have it, he still had them.”

Zeppo was looking at me coolly. “What are you planning to do with them?”

“Do with them?” I shrugged. “Nothing at all. But I thought this was as good a time as any to let you know I had them. Particularly since several of them show you engaged in the sort of activity we’re discussing now.”

“Listen, you old bastard, don’t try and blackmail me. You wouldn’t like it.”

“I’m sure neither of us would. Although if copies of these were circulated to certain people, I’m certain you’d like it even less. I

don’t imagine this sort of thing does anyone’s career much good. But you needn’t worry about anything like that from me. We have a perfectly good business relationship, and I wouldn’t dream of spoiling it. No, I simply wanted to remind you that I’m not suggesting anything you haven’t done before, that’s all.”

“That was different. It was a long time ago, and I needed the money.”

“Zeppo, you don’t have to justify yourself to me. I’m merely pointing out that what you’ve done once for money, you can do again. And for considerably more, this time.”

“What’s to stop me from taking these with me?”

“Nothing at all. In fact you could give some to your friends. I have several copies. In different places, of course.”

He glared at me. For the first time, I realised he was capable of violence. “You fat, smug, pompous old cunt.”

“That sort of talk helps no one. Now, do we have a deal?”

He did not answer at first. Then he gave a short, grudging nod. “All right. But you’re making a mistake.”

I thought he was threatening me. “And why’s that?”

“Because it’s a bad idea.”

“You seem to have suddenly changed your mind. You said a moment ago it was worth a try.”

“Yes, with somebody else. Not with me. What if Anna finds out? I thought the whole point was for me to end up in bed with her. If she finds out I’m trying to screw her boyfriend, she’s not going to be too thrilled about that idea then, is she?”

“If we handle this properly she’ll never know. I can’t imagine Marty telling her about it. Can you?”

He gave a sullen shrug. “Perhaps not. But in that case, what’s to stop her still going to America with him?”

“You are. Once he’s, ah, compromised himself, he’ll be vulnerable and open to persuasion. You’ll be able to manipulate him any way you like. The last thing he’ll want is for Anna to find out he’s had an affair with another man. It’ll be much easier for him to simply cry off and go back alone than admit that. Assuming, of course, that he still even wants to take her.”

Zeppo ignored my gallant attempt at a joke. “It’d be a lot easier just to blackmail him now. This is getting too complicated.”

“Not at all. For one thing, the only item we have to blackmail him with at present is an uncorroborated sighting in a gay nightclub. This way we’ll have him in a stranglehold.”

He was unconvinced. “I still think it’s too risky.”

In retrospect, I realise he was right, and I wonder now if I was not already pushing for the eventual denouement even then. But if I was, I was unconscious of the fact.

“Of course it isn’t,” I said. “You’re just looking for excuses.”

Zeppo sighed and threw his hands up. “Okay. We’ll do it your way. Just don’t blame me if it goes wrong.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that you’ve lost confidence in yourself. Has Anna made you lose faith in your own abilities?”

“Look, I’ve said I’ll do it. Don’t push your luck.” Without asking, he got up and poured himself another drink. “We’ll have to think of something to get Anna out of the way for a while.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ll take care of that.”