Full-Time Father

Chapter Three

Christie finished her cookie and lemonade without mentioning the puppy again. Parker couldn’t help staring at her. She was small, smaller than he’d imagined, but very lively and bright. Her eyes were a few shades lighter than in the photo, but still brown. She glanced at him, then smiled. A dimple appeared on both cheeks. He couldn’t help smiling back.

“You’re very pretty,” he said without thinking.

The dimples deepened as she grinned. “Mommy says so, too. Angela Bedford is beautiful. She’s got long blond hair and blue eyes and she’s made a ‘mercial.”

“A what?”

“A commercial,” Erin said and reached for her glass. “Mrs. Bedford is hoping to get her daughter into television.”

“Why would anyone want to do that?” he asked.

She laughed. “My thoughts exactly.”

Her shoulder-length hair brushed against her cream sweater as she tilted her head and glanced around the terrace. Parker felt as if he’d gotten sucked into one of his video games. In the space of a few hours, his whole world had been turned upside down.

Erin was Stacey’s twin sister. The longer he was with Erin, the more he remembered about her sister. Yet he had no sense of déjà vu. Despite the physical similarities, he knew Erin was a different personality. They might look alike, but they projected two completely different people. Stacey had been—He frowned trying to remember what she’d been. Intense, driven; she’d been one of the hardest workers on the project. She’d also been underfoot. He remembered the feeling of not being able to escape her.

He didn’t know Erin at all, yet even after spending such a short period of time with her he sensed that she was more relaxed and accepting of things. She handled her child easily, without being overbearing.

Her child…his child. He swore silently and wondered what on earth he was going to do with a kid. Not that he didn’t like Christie, but he wasn’t the paternal type. He hadn’t been around children since he was one.

Kiki came out onto the terrace and walked to their table. “Does anyone need more cookies or lemonade?” she asked as she placed a sandwich in front of him.

“Christie and I are fine,” Erin said.

Parker took a big bite of his sandwich. “Great,” he mumbled.

Kiki gave him her “don’t talk with your mouth full” look, but fortunately, she didn’t say it out loud. Kiki had been with him seven years and was worse than his mother had ever been. He didn’t know how he would survive without her, though.

Kiki squatted down next to Christie and touched the girl’s shoulder. “I bet you have your own room back home,” she said.

Christie nodded. “Uh-huh. I’ve got a big girl bed and bookshelves.”

“You like to read?”

“Yup.” She scrunched her nose. “I can read lots of words by myself, but for the extra-long stories, Mommy reads those to me. I want to read big girl books. When I go to school in the fall, I’m going to really learn how to read. And numbers, too.”

“Good for you. Do you go to school now?”

“Yes, but it’s not real school. Not with the big kids.”

Erin leaned forward. “She’s in a preschool. Christie can’t wait to start elementary school. She wants to learn everything, don’t you honey?”

Parker listened to the exchange, all the while eating his sandwich. Kiki didn’t have any trouble talking with the girl. She just asked the same sort of questions she would ask anyone visiting. Maybe there wasn’t a trick. Maybe he should just talk to Christie as if she were a regular person.

Kiki stood up. “Parker, I’m sure Erin and Christie would like to see the gardens and maybe go down to the beach.”

“Good idea,” he said, then popped the last bit of sandwich into his mouth. He wiped his hands on a napkin, then glanced at his daughter.

She looked at him. “I love the beach,” she said seriously, as if her goal in life was to see his.

Erin laughed. “You’ve only been to the beach once. How do you know if you like it?”

“It was very nice,” Christie said, still serious.

“You’re going to love this one,” he told her and stood up.

Erin rose gracefully, then helped Christie out of the chair. Parker motioned for them to go through the living room and out the front. They turned left and circled around the house.

“There’s no way to get from the terrace to the beach,” Parker said as he led them to a wrought-iron gate and pulled it open. “The stone fence is built into the house itself. This is the only way down to our private beach. It’s not very big, but it’s nice when the tide is out.”

Erin glanced back at him as she walked by. “What happens when the tide is in?”

“Depending on how high it is, the beach can go underwater. Not often, though. It’s pretty safe.”

“Is there a lock on that gate?”

Parker followed her gaze to Christie. “Yes. We haven’t been using it, but we can.” Of course the child was too small to be trusted down on the beach by herself. He made a mental note to mention locking the gate to Kiki as soon as they returned.

Erin reached down and took her daughter’s hand. “It’s very lush here,” she said. “I’d expected windswept cliffs and a couple of redwood trees.”

Parker glanced around at the trees and creeping vines lining the path. On either side, blooming flowers nestled against juniper ground cover. “I have a gardener who wages a battle against the salt air and bad soil. So far he seems to be winning.”

She paused to finger a flowering crepe myrtle. “Very beautiful.”

Christie stood on her toes and sniffed. “Smells pretty, too.”

As Parker followed them to the wooden stairs that hugged the side of the cliff, he tried to remember the last time he’d noticed the garden. The house had nearly a quarter acre of cultivated grounds. He owned everything to the main road, but left most of it in its natural state. For the past couple of years he hadn’t seen anything past his office.

Up ahead, the path made one last sharp turn before widening into a half circle that ended at the top of the stairs. Both Erin and Christie stopped to stare. He came up behind them and knew he’d been lucky to find this property when it was for sale.

To the left was the tall three-story house. The path sloped down, so they were below the first floor. To their right was the wild rugged coastline of Northern California. Sea gulls circled overhead. In front of the path, the Pacific Ocean stretched out for miles before disappearing into the horizon.

“Where does it go?” Christie asked.

“Clear around the world,” he told her.

She quivered with excitement. “Mommy, Mommy, we could get a boat and sail forever.”

Erin gave him a wry glance. “I don’t think my stomach’s up to it. I was never a very good sailor.”

“Me, either,” he said. “But cruise ships are fine.”

“I’ve never been on one.”

He had the strangest urge to offer to take her on a cruise. Just the three of them. He shook his head to clear it and ignored the impulse. “The stairs are a little steep,” he said, then looked at four-year-old Christie. It would take her forever to get down.

“I can carry her,” Erin told him.

“You’re not any more familiar with the stairs. Besides, Christie looks as if she weighs enough to knock you off balance.” He squatted down as he’d seen Kiki do. “How do you feel about a piggyback ride?” he asked Christie.

She beamed at him and clapped her hands. “Yes!”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. He reached behind him for her chubby legs, then stood up. She wasn’t that big, at least not to him, but he assumed she was the size of an average four-year-old. Erin watched for a moment to make sure Christie was balanced.

“Look at me, Mommy,” the little girl crowed.

“I see.” She turned her attention to him. “Do you want me to go first?”

“Sure. Then we can follow slowly.”

The sound of the waves crashing on the rocks got louder as they descended. Parker was used to the stairs. Two landings broke up the steep trip. He usually went down at a jog, but not with Christie on his back.

Her small hands clutched his shirt and shoulders. The skin of her bare legs was warm against his hands. She clung to him as if she were a little monkey, and he caught a faint whiff of something unfamiliar over the scent of the salt air. She smelled of chocolate and sweetly of herself. A band tightened in his chest. Not an emotion as much as a reaction. A fierce need to protect her and be there for her.

Erin reached the beach first. She smiled at Christie. “You doing okay?”

“This is fun.” She leaned her face closer to his ear. “I want piggyback rides all the time.”

“You got it,” he told her as he stepped off the last step.

The tide was out, the small half moon of hard-packed sand was still damp. Their athletic shoes didn’t make any sound as they left faint imprints. The sun was warm and the sky clear. Erin came up behind him and lifted Christie to the ground. The girl ran to the edge of the water, then raced back.

“There’s nobody here but us. And the birds. You can’t see the house.” She leaned her head back and stared straight up.

Parker followed her gaze. “It’s the angle of the cliff. The house is built into the rock so it isn’t at risk of sliding during rainstorms.”

Christie spun around and faced the water. She flung her arms out and ran in ever widening circles. “I’m a birdie, too.”

In her lime green shorts and shirt and her pigtails streaming out behind her, she was an exotic creature. At least in his world.

“She’s got a lot of energy,” he said.

“More than usual.” Erin tucked her hands in her jeans front pockets. The action emphasized the swell of her breasts under her sweater. “We took two days to drive up from Palmdale. We took a lot of breaks, but that’s a long time for a child to sit still in a car. Besides, I’m all in favor of you tiring her out so she goes to bed early tonight.”

“You mentioned you drove up with a friend?”

“Joyce. Her fiancé is waiting for her in San Francisco. He’s on a business trip, then they’re going to spend some time together in the city.” Erin glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He noticed her eyelashes were thick and dark.

“Having her along has been great,” she continued. “Not only did we get to split the driving, but she looked after Christie this morning and has given me moral support.”

“What does she have to say about all of this?”

“She thinks I’m crazy for dropping in on your life. She warned me you wouldn’t be interested.”

“In my own daughter?”

Erin turned as if to check that Christie was out of earshot. The girl was digging for crabs. “She thought you wouldn’t want to be reminded of a four-year-old mistake.”

The bright sun heated the air and danced on the top of the waves. Christie looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back. “Is that how you thought I’d think of her? As a mistake?” He kept his voice low.

“I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

“I’m glad.”

He still didn’t know anything about Erin Ridgeway. This could be a scam to get money out of him. But he didn’t give a damn. He knew Christie was his and that’s all that mattered.

The girl stood up and raced toward them. She stopped about a foot in front of him and stared up. Her eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “Angela Bedford’s daddy is a policeman. What do you do?”

“I design programs for computers.”

“We have computers at school. I like them.” She shrugged casually. “I like puppies better, though.”

Erin burst out laughing. She swooped down and pulled her daughter close. “I’m going to tickle you into behaving.”

“I’ll behave! I’ll behave!” Christie shrieked, but didn’t try to pull away. She wiggled close and threw her arms around Erin’s waist.

Parker watched them, feeling like the odd one out. The relationships between children and parents were unfamiliar to him. His family had never been affectionate. He didn’t remember either of his parents playing, tickling or even teasing him.

“She’s a monster,” Erin said, looking up at him and smiling. “Should we throw her to the other sea monsters?”

“Nah, they’d just spit her back.”

“Spit?” Christie repeated, sounding outraged. “They would not spit me back. They would make me their princess and I would have a castle under the sea and you would miss me very much.”

“I think I might at that,” Erin said, then dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “We better head back up. I still have to talk to your father about a few things.”

“Okay.” Christie ran to the stairs and started to climb.

Parker brought up the rear. He walked slowly marveling over how easily Erin referred to him as Christie’s father. Of course he was, but the word was unfamiliar. He reminded himself that she’d had longer to come to terms with that. She’d known for weeks. He’d only found out a few hours ago.

Questions spun through his mind. What did Erin want from him? What was his place in Christie’s life? Did he have one and did he want one? Underlining it all was a thin thread of fear that came from the knowledge of how easily all this could be destroyed. He’d done it before.

When they reached the pathway, Christie raced ahead of them. She paused every few feet to bat at the crepe myrtle, laugh, then run again.

Erin placed her hand on her chest and drew in a deep breath. “I need to exercise more,” she said between breaths. “Those stairs are a killer.”

He pushed a branch out of the way so she could duck under it. “Do you have a job?” he asked as he caught up with her.

She laughed. “Of course. What did you think? I’m an elementary school teacher.”

“I thought there might be insurance money, or something.”

Erin shook her head. Her hazel eyes darkened with emotion. “There was a little when Stacey died, but not much. I stayed home with Christie that first summer. Having an infant thrust upon me with no warning was a shock.”

“I can relate to that.”

She smiled, exposing the dimple in her right cheek. “I’ll bet you can. I didn’t know how else to tell you.”

“You did fine.” He touched his hand to the small of her back. She jumped a little, so he dropped his arm to his side. “Had you always planned on becoming a teacher?”

“No, but with a child to raise, it seemed the most sensible plan. I could get off work at a decent time and have summers with her. I used the last of the insurance money getting my credentials and went to work when Christie was a year old.”

They’d reached the gate. Parker opened it and Christie raced across the lawn. She started spinning around, then collapsed on the smooth grass and stared up at the sky.

“I wish I’d known,” he said.

“Do you?” She shrugged. “I don’t mean to sound surprised, but I tried to get in touch with you after Christie was born. I didn’t think you were her father, but I thought you might know who was. All my letters were sent back unopened.”

Guilt flooded him. “I’m sorry. I’d sold the company and told them not to forward any mail. I didn’t think anyone would be trying to get in touch with me.”

And he hadn’t wanted to have any contact with the world. After Stacey had left, he’d fallen apart. Pain and guilt had overwhelmed him until getting through the day had been more than he could manage. He’d betrayed his wife’s memory—traded in their special love for one night of passion. One night of trying to feel alive. It was as if Robin’s death had killed him, too. God, he’d missed her. He still did. Sometimes missing her was all that kept him going.

“We all survived,” Erin said as she headed for the front door. “Now, we start over.”

Christie bounced to her feet and skipped toward her. Parker stared at the child and battled regret over the first four years he’d lost.

Kiki was waiting in the foyer. “Did you enjoy the beach?” she asked.

Christie nodded vigorously. “It’s beautiful. We saw birds and I got a piggyback ride. I almost caught a crab, but it kept digging and digging and I can’t dig that fast.”

Kiki ruffled the girl’s bangs. “You can catch it next time.” She glanced at him. “Why don’t you show them around the house? It’s very unusual.”

“If you’d like,” Parker said, looking at Erin for her approval.

She nodded as they walked into the living room. “It’s a great old place. When was it built?”

“In the 1920s by an eccentric millionaire who made his money in railroads, lumber and oil. Much of this room is original,” he said. The open-beamed ceiling soared nearly twenty feet high. Dark wood broke up the plain white walls. There were huge windows that looked out onto the terrace and the ocean beyond. Opposite, smaller windows gave a view of the front yard. Dark blue leather sofas and chairs were grouped together in conversational areas. Bold paintings, some modern, some old, added color to the room.

Erin walked over to the one above the fireplace. It showed a wild storm raging against an island. “Did you pick these out yourself?”

“Some I have because I like them, others are investments. That one I bought because of how it made me feel.” He still remembered how the anger and power of the painting had called him from across the gallery. He’d accepted an invitation to a showing on impulse. That had been about a year or so after Robin had died, when he was trying to put his life back together. The threads had remained unraveled, but the painting had allowed him to believe he wasn’t the only person dealing with powerful and unexplained emotions.

“Very raw,” she said.

Kiki walked across the hardwood floor. She pointed to the right hand wall. “This buffet and those two chairs are original pieces from the house. The former owner had much of the furniture custom-made.”

From there they walked into the dining room. Again Kiki pointed out the original dining room set. Here the windows were smaller, but the view no less impressive. In fact, it was better than the living room because the room butted right up to the cliff.

He hung back as Kiki took Erin and Christie through the kitchen, then back through the living room to the other side. Parker wondered how this house must appear to Erin. She lived on a teacher’s salary, which couldn’t be a lot. There hadn’t been much in the way of insurance money, and she hadn’t mentioned receiving help from any relatives. Was she doing it on her own?

“There’s another fireplace,” Christie said loudly, when they walked into the study.

Parker followed more slowly. This was one of his favorite rooms. There weren’t any windows, in fact part of the ceiling sloped because the room was partially tucked under the stairs. Bookshelves lined two walls and flanked the fireplace on a third. The fourth wall contained a built-in entertainment system complete with laser disc and four-way speakers.

As he entered the study, Christie was staring reverently at the big screen television.

“I don’t think I have anything you would like,” he said, motioning to his library of laser discs. “But maybe you can tell me what you enjoy and I’ll get it.”

Her brown eyes widened. Her mouth opened. Before she could speak, Erin touched her shoulder. “You can give Parker your list later,” she said. “For now just say thank you.”

“Thank you,” Christie breathed, practically quivering with excitement. Her gaze darted around the room, then settled on something. “Ooh, who’s the pretty lady?”

Parker knew before he turned that Christie had spotted the portrait of Robin. The eleven-by-sixteen print fit into an oversize frame on one of the bookshelves. A small light illuminated the picture.

Parker took the little girl’s hand and led her to the photograph. He lifted it down so Christie could see it more easily. “That’s my wife, Robin.”

Christie frowned. “If you have a wife, how can you be my daddy?”

He heard someone take a sharp breath of air and assumed it was Erin. “No matter what, I’m still your father, Christie. Robin died a long time ago.” He looked at the girl’s solemn eyes. “Do you know what that means?”

“She’s gone, like my other mommy, Stacey.” Christie touched the glass protecting the photograph. “She’s pretty. I like her hair. It’s all wavy.” She touched the pigtails that barely brushed her shoulders. “My hair’s not that long and it doesn’t wave like that.”

“You’re still pretty, too,” he said.

Christie grinned.

He set the picture back in its place. He studied it for a minute. It was a beautiful shot taken by a skilled photographer. He kept it out because it was Robin’s favorite picture of herself. She was dressed in period costume, something from the 1920s, when the house had been built. Her white lace dress fell straight to her ankles. A large hat shaded her face. She stood with her head turned slightly away from the camera.

The black-and-white film dulled the color of her red hair and the shadows muted her freckles. She was stunningly beautiful in this picture, but in his mind, she was a stranger. He preferred Robin in real life with her too-bright hair and glasses falling down her nose. He liked the freckles she despised and her slightly awkward way of moving through a room.

“I’d forgotten about her,” Erin said, almost under her breath.

When he turned toward her, she flushed and held her hands palm up in a gesture of surrender.

“Your late wife was mentioned in a couple of articles I read in the library, but I’d forgotten that you lost her. I’m sorry, Parker.”

Her words were an uncomfortable reminder that he was the sort of person people read about in magazines. He’d hated that part of his success. He preferred to remain out of the public eye. What else had Erin learned? What exactly did she want from him?

“Maybe it’s time we talked,” he said, motioning to the red-brown leather sofa across from the entertainment unit.

“This is going to be boring grown-up talk,” Kiki said quickly. “Christie, why don’t you come with me and I’ll show you the upstairs? There are a couple of secret rooms.”

“Really?” She glanced at her mother.

“Go ahead, honey,” Erin told her. “Be good and don’t touch anything.”

“Yes, Mommy.”

Kiki led the child out of the room. Parker waited until Erin was seated before taking a wing chair for himself. The lighting was such that he could see her face clearly, but knew he was in shadow. He hadn’t liked his time in the business world, but he’d learned from it.

“Let’s cut right to the heart of the matter, Ms. Ridgeway,” he said calmly. “I’m convinced Christie is my daughter. I assume you want to enter into negotiations about her support.”

Erin stared at him for several moments, then started to laugh. The bright sound filled the dark room, sweeping away the emotional dust. She placed her hands on her thighs and leaned toward him. Her mouth curved up slightly, her dimple playing hide-and-seek on her cheek.

“It’s Erin, Parker. We’d already agreed on that.” She studied him for a moment and the smile faded. “I had thought it might be nice to be rich, but I see I was mistaken. How many people come here looking only for money?”

“More than you can imagine.”

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t believe that, but I am. Christie and I are doing fine. We don’t want financial assistance. As far as that’s concerned, all I care about is a college trust fund for her.”

Her fingers were long and lean. They rested on her jeans. She’d pulled up the sleeves of her sweater. He could see her finely boned wrists and the inexpensive watch she wore. He raised his gaze past the tempting curve of her breasts—ignoring the faint stirring of interest that started deep inside—to the small gold hoops at her ears. She wasn’t flashy. If she really wasn’t interested in his money, then she was unlike any woman he’d met since Robin died.

“Frankly I’m more interested in what you can give Christie emotionally rather than financially,” she said.

He braced his arms on the chair. “What does that mean?”

“Christie needs a father in her life. If you want to take on that role, then it’s a real commitment. She would need regular contact with you. Before you agree to anything, you have to think this through. I’d rather know now if you’re not interested, because I don’t want her heart broken.”

“I would never hurt her,” he said quietly, then wondered why he spoke the lie. Of course he would hurt her. He hurt every woman who had ever cared about him. Eventually he let them down.

He pushed the past away and concentrated on Erin. “Assuming I want to be involved with Christie, what are you suggesting? You sound as if you have a plan.”

She nodded. “The distance is a problem. Also, Christie has friends and school. She can’t be taken away from that just because it’s convenient for you. My suggestion is that you fly down and visit her every third weekend. It will be easier for you to travel than for her. She’s too young to go on a plane by herself, and I can’t drive her up here for the weekend.”

“Agreed,” he said, wondering what on earth he was getting himself into. He was going to take Christie for a weekend? Down there? He wouldn’t even have Kiki to help, unless he brought her, but he doubted his housekeeper would be willing to give up her social life to travel with him.

“During the summer Christie can come up for two weeks at the beginning and two weeks at the end. Also, you can have the week after Christmas.”

Dates and times whirled through his head. “You’ve thought this through.”

“I figured I’d better. After all I’ve known about this longer than you have. If it’s agreeable, Christie and I will stay in town for the next couple of weeks so the two of you can get to know each other. I’ll be around to help you over the rough spots.” She smiled. “I know how hard it is to suddenly be responsible for a child, especially without warning.”

He didn’t know what to say. Erin’s plan was sensible, although there was something about it he didn’t like. However, he couldn’t come up with anything specific so he let it go. Of course he wanted to spend time with his daughter. He’d just found her and he wasn’t going to lose her again.

Then he realized what was wrong. Erin’s sensible plan placed limitations on his time and involvement. What if he wanted to be a full-time father instead of a part-time one? There wasn’t room in her equation for that.

Before he could mention it, Christie burst into the room followed by Kiki. The girl had an armful of flowers cut from the garden.

Erin looked at her. “Those are beautiful.”

“Kiki said I could pick them for you.” She crossed the room and placed the flowers in her mother’s lap. “They smell nice, too.”

“Thank you.” Erin’s smile included the housekeeper as well.

“You know what else?” Christie asked, dancing from foot to foot.

“No. What?”

“Well, you said we would stay in town for a while so I could get to know my daddy.” Christie smiled winningly. “But we don’t have to stay so far away. We could stay right here. I found the perfectest room all for myself.”