Gentlemen Prefer Succubi

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I managed to slink back into the studio just in time to see Remy wrap her silk robe around her body and head for her dressing room. I snagged a bottle of water off a nearby tray and followed her in, shoving my bangs down to cover the angel mark. Now to remember to be angry.

“So where’d you run off to? I looked up and you were gone.” Remy’s silver eyes gleamed in the dim yellow light of the dressing room. “Don’t tell me you had to go to the bathroom in the middle of my big scene.”

“Where do you get the nerve?” I began with that and immediately felt proud. It was a good start to standing up for myself.

“Nerve for what?” She looked genuinely puzzled.

“You’re a porn star! How could you not tell me? Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“Oh, come on. How could you not notice? Did you see my DVD collection at home? I’m in half of them. And the name? Remy Summore? Ram-me-some-more? Get it?”

“I thought your name was REM-me, not RAM-me.”

She shrugged. “Remy is spelled prettier. Besides, it’s porn, not rocket science. Nobody cares how your name is spelled.”

This whole conversation was just wrong on so many levels. I shook my head, words failing me.

“Oh, come on.” She flopped down on the couch and tossed one of the tasseled pillows at me. “Don’t tell me you’re going to be a prude about this. You had sex in a confessional yesterday with a man you hardly know, so you can’t judge me. Besides, it’s a good way to make money and kill the Itch at the same time.” She shrugged at me, her dark hair cascading over her shoulder, looking as relaxed as could be surrounded by black silk and sex toys.

My mouth opened and closed. She thought I was prudish? How could a succubus be prudish? I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I just said, “When can we leave?”

“Right now, Miss Cranky-butt,” Remy said. “But you’ll disappoint James. He likes you, you know.”

I shot her a dirty look.

Remy smirked. “You sure you don’t want a souvenir DVD-”

“Forget it.”

I spent the rest of the day pretending to sulk in my room. That was much easier than trying to explain to Remy-or to Noah, for that matter-where I was planning to head that night. So I ignored Noah’s phone calls and Remy’s attempts at getting back in my good graces.

Okay, so she didn’t really try to get back into my good graces, inasmuch as she sent room service up to me in the form of Ethel with delicious snacks. I wasn’t fooled, though. It was a peace offering, and I took the food but not the apology.

After all, Ethel made incredible cheesecake brownies. No sense in sending those back. The brownies weren’t at fault.

I passed the day watching bad daytime TV, eating food that would have put ten pounds on my thighs if my thighs weren’t supernatural, and picked through my wardrobe. What would be good for hanging out with vampires? I needed something that said I was at home there but didn’t want any funny stuff. Something that said “look but don’t touch.”

I decided on a sweater set of pale pink that was somewhat low cut in the front and a pair of jeans. It was nice without being tarty, and it showed the right amount of cleavage. I brushed my hair for about an hour, admiring the way it curled and swept over my shoulders. It was fascinating and the most brilliant shade of red. Whether or not I cared for the whole succubus thing, I was shallow enough to admit that my new looks were stunning. I’d never been attractive before, and it was as interesting to me as it apparently was to the opposite sex.

Grabbing my purse, I tucked my high heels in my hand and headed for the grand staircase that swept through the foyer of Remy’s ostentatiously huge house.

Of course, who should I meet at the bottom of the stairs but Remy herself, in slippers and clutching a pint of Häagen-Dazs. Her brows furrowed as she stared at me. “Where are you going?”

It figured that I’d get caught on the verge of making it out the door. Of course, I hadn’t thought very far ahead in my plan; I had no way to get to the city once I got out to the driveway. I guess every plan has to have its fatal flaw. “Er, nowhere.”

She snorted. “Do tell.”

“I’m going to the museum,” I lied. “To pick up my paycheck.”

Remy approached me and poked me on my bare breastbone. “Dressed like that?” She scanned me with sharp eyes and began to circle like a vulture. “What look were you going for with this ensemble? Jeans, so something casual. Heels, which means there’ll be men there. A sweater set, which means you’re a dork.“ She studied me while eating a spoonful of ice cream. “Did you buy that with me? ’Cause I’m pretty sure something as nerdish as that never made it into the bags when I was looking-”

“Hey!”

“But at least it’s low cut,” she concluded, “which means wholesome but not unavailable.” She took a big bite of ice cream and pondered. “Not too slutty, but just attractive enough to get some attention?” Remy gasped and flung her spoon at me. “You skank! You’re going to a club and you didn’t invite me!”

“I’m not going to a club,” I protested, my voice weak. It probably would have been more believable if not for the look of shame on my face.

“Going to pick up men, without me. After all I’ve done for you,” Remy wailed dramatically, putting a hand to her forehead. Then she cocked her head and studied me. “If you were picking up a guy for the Itch, you’d be dressed differently. Why aren’t your eyes even the tiniest bit blue right now? You’re due.”

I blanched and panicked, spitting out the first lie that came to mind. “I met someone earlier today. Had sex in a public bathroom.”

Her eyes were the color of flint. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What was his name, then?” Remy tilted her head, regarding me.

“His name? Um, it was Bob.”

She snorted. “You are a really bad liar, you know that?” Remy tossed the ice cream onto a nearby table and approached me like a lion that had just spotted prey. “Show me your forehead.”

I backed away, sensing a trap. “Why?”

Within the space of one breath, Remy had me pinned to a wall and was pushing my bangs up, revealing my glittering angel hickey. “Oh shit, Jackie. What have you done now?” She released me and stomped away through the foyer.

That was not the reaction I was expecting. I certainly didn’t expect Remy to be pleased, but I didn’t expect her to walk away so I followed. “Where are you going?”

I turned the corner and saw Remy with a phone to her ear.

“Who are you calling?” I put my hands on my hips and contemplated leaving for the club, but again, still no ride.

Remy gave me a cross look and ignored me pacing in front of her. Someone must have picked up on the other end, because her expression changed to one of relief. “Noah? It’s Remy.”

I groaned. “You had to bring Noah into this?”

“I have a problem,” she said into the phone as if I weren’t there. “Yeah, I know the sun’s about to set. This won’t take long, I promise. Our friend has been naughty-there’s an angel mark on her forehead.” She held the phone away from her ear, and I heard a loud, explosive curse come through the receiver.

Well, that certainly wasn’t good. My feelings about Noah were mixed, but I sure didn’t want him pissed off at me.

“Yeah, I know,” Remy said, the phone cradled against her ear again. She pinched the bridge of her nose between two fingers, as if fighting off a headache. “It was my responsibility and she got away from me. I’m sorry. No, I know.” Pause. “I know.” Pause again. “Look, I got it already, okay?” Annoyance snapped through her voice, and she nodded a few more times in irritation, then handed the phone to me. “He wants to talk to you.”

I took the phone, regarding it like I would a snake. I pressed my fingers over the mouthpiece and whispered to Remy, “What if I ‘oops!’ drop it and we get disconnected? Think he’ll call back?”

She snorted at me and shook her head. “Trust me, you don’t want him any more pissed off at you than he already is.”

I made a face at her and held the phone up to my ear, waiting for the explosion. It was silent on the other end, so I made my voice as cheerful as possible. “Hi, Noah,” I chirped.

“You just find this all one big joke, don’t you?” I couldn’t tell how Noah was feeling from his voice. It was emotionless, like he was reading off a piece of paper.

“I don’t understand what all the commotion is,” I began, keeping my voice light. “What’s the big deal if I made a new friend?”

“They’re not your friends.” Noah sounded exhausted, and I could hear him stifle a yawn.

“Gee, sorry if I’m boring you.”

Noah sighed. “You’re not boring me. Quit being so damn needy. The sun is down and I’m going to be passing out in approximately five minutes until the sun comes up again, so let’s finish this, all right? Who was it that you met up with?”

Was I that needy? That obvious? I flushed at the thought. “He said his name was Uriel.”

Noah began to swear a blue streak at the exact same time that Remy did.

“Uriel,” Remy moaned, then headed toward the bar. “I need a drink.”

On the other end of the phone, Noah was still cussing like a madman, and I began to get irritated. And a little scared. Okay, a lot scared. I watched Remy slug down a shot of whiskey, and sighed. “I did something bad, didn’t I?”

There was quiet on the other end of the phone. After a moment, Noah cleared his throat. “It depends. Did you hunt him down or did he find you?”

“He found me.”

“Interesting.” Noah certainly sounded calmer, which I took to be a good sign. “And did you agree to do anything for him? Any favors of a sort?”

“Nothing big-”

I had to break off my sentence and hold the phone away from my ear because of the cursing that ensued. I looked over at Remy, who was downing her second shot of alcohol.

“Didn’t we warn you?” Noah shouted. “Didn’t we tell you to stay away from them? That they were bad news?”

I winced. “Yeah, but he’s an angel. How can he be a bad guy?”

Another round of expletives. “Forget it. I can’t stay awake any longer. Tell Remy that I said to stay put until sunrise, and I’ll be there at the crack of dawn. Got that?”

“Got it,” I echoed, and disconnected with a satisfying click. “Sheesh, what a jerk.” I made a face at her. “He told me to tell you he’ll be here at the crack of dawn.” The words rolled out of my mouth, compelled by my Serim master.

“I can’t believe you got tangled up with Uriel already, and it’s only been two days,” Remy moaned from across the room, shaking her head like I was on the verge of death. “Noah’s going to have my head. What did he say to you?” She fixed intent gray eyes on me.

“Nothing special, just that he wanted to have a talk with me when he wakes up.” I omitted the teensy part about how we weren’t supposed to go anywhere. “So what’s so bad about Uriel?”

Remy gave the whiskey bottle another longing look but stepped away from the bar. “Uriel is one of the head honchos upstairs. If he’s taking an interest in you, it means big things are afoot.”

“But I didn’t do anything,” I protested. “I went into a church and he was there.”

She shook her head at my ignorance. “That didn’t clue you in?”

I threw my hands up in the air. “Never mind. Just forget I said anything, all right?”

“So what did you promise to do for him?” Remy crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head, regarding me. “Let me guess, just a little something small, right?”

I blinked. “Yeah, come to think of it. He just wants me to go hang out with a couple of vampires-”

Remy exploded at that. “Hang out with a couple of vampires? Why in all the nine hells is an angel sending you to rub shoulders with that lot?”

All this screaming and cussing was really getting annoying. You’d think I’d agreed to smuggle nuclear weapons into an orphanage, not just say hi to a few folks with questionable dentistry. “Look, if it gets your panties into a wad, I just won’t go, all right?”

She shook her head at me. “You have to now. You promised.”

“Well, then, I guess I lied. He’ll get over it.” I waved it off with a flick of my hand. “I’ve told worse lies.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Remy was shaking her head with determination. “You can’t take your word back once you give it to an angel. It’s like lying to the IRS. That shit carries straight to the top, and if you ever terminate here on earth, you don’t want to be heading downstairs, if you get my drift.” She rubbed her face, looking rather tired and put-upon.

“Once you make a deal with an angel, you have to follow through-because they may be good guys, but they never forget if you wrong them. That’s why our kind avoids them and Noah’s kind calls them ‘dealers.’ They offer you a free hit to suck you in and bring your guard down. Then they ask for just a little favor, and you do it, because you promised. And they keep coming back to you with more and more little favors, until you find yourself trying to take down the whole vampire syndicate singlehanded because that’s what Uriel or Gabriel or one of the bigwigs wants, and you’re so far in you can’t stop. Ever.”

I ignored the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. Uriel had seemed so nice, almost cuddly. “But he said he just wanted me to check things out. That’s all.” It sounded pretty lame even to my ears, and I sighed. “Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe they don’t do these kinds of things.”

“Are you kidding?” She stared at me in amazement. “I’ve known several succubi that have had their existence ended because of angel interference. And I’m pretty sure none of them went upstairs, despite all the gun-running they did for their angel pals.” Remy hauled me back up the staircase behind her. “Face it, kid. When it comes to the major leagues, the best thing you can do is stick to the minors and keep your nose clean.”

“Got it,” I replied meekly, allowing her to drag me into my room. “What are we doing?”

She headed straight for my closet and thrust the doors open. “Dressing you for the part. If you’re going to go ‘hang out with a few vampires,’ you’ll need to dress in something sexier than a sweater set.”

I sat down on the edge of my bed, watching her. “Um, I don’t think I want to go anymore, if that’s all right.”

Remy shook her head. “I’m afraid you don’t have a choice. You gave that up the moment you let that angel put his lips on you.”

I scowled. “Well, don’t pick out something superslutty. If I’m going by myself, I want to at least be comfortable and somewhat normal seeming.”

She tossed a glittery red corset top at me. “You’ll wear what I give you, and who says I’ll let you go in alone?”

My eyes widened. “But I thought you don’t like hanging out with vampires. You have them warded and stuff.”

She shrugged and pulled a hanger out of my closet. “Doesn’t mean that I’ll let you walk into the lions’ den alone. Oh ew, why’d we buy these pants?” Remy tossed them to the floor. “Where are the leather skirts? We need something short and tight.”

“Back of the closet,” I said. “And thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet. Thank me when we’re done,” she pronounced. “Now, let’s get you all slutted up for the vamps. They like their women with a lot of skin showing. Lucky for you, we’ve got some mighty fine choices here. How do you feel about cutoffs?”

“I think I feel sick,” I mumbled.