Heart of Venom

Chapter Twenty-four

Apparently, I’d managed to pull myself far enough up onto the bank to keep from drowning. And now someone had put his hands under my shoulders and was pulling me the rest of the way up and out of the water.

I lashed out with my fists and legs, trying to get him to let go of me. But instead of being dropped, I felt a body slide down next to mine in the mud, and a pair of arms wrapped around me, holding me close. I kept fighting, kept struggling, but I was weak, and he was stronger than

I was.

After a moment, I realized that I wasn’t being hurt, that whoever this was held me close and let me beat at him with my hands. I breathed in, and a rich, familiar scent filled my nose, penetrating the last fragments of the dream and my disjointed ride through the rapids.

I let out a breath. “Owen?” I asked in a low, tentative voice.

He drew me even closer, and I felt his hand gently slide through my tangled hair. “It’s me,” he whispered.

“It’s me, Gin.”

I finally managed to open my eyes, and I found myself staring into his bright, beautiful, violet eyes. I reached out and traced my fingers over his face, once again trying to smooth out the worry lines that marred his rugged features. He didn’t wince, and he didn’t pull away, despite the fact that my fingers were as cold as bony icicles, and

I left smears of blood and mud all over him. Instead, he caught my hand in his and pressed a soft kiss to my palm, right in the middle of my spider-rune scar.

“I’ve got you, Gin,” Owen said. “Just rest, baby. I’ve got you now. Nothing’s going to happen to you. I swear.”

I nodded and relaxed that much more. I knew that Owen would keep his promise, just as I’d managed to keep mine to him, despite all the odds. But before I could speak, before I could thank him for coming after me, the blackness rose again in my mind, swallowing up everything else.

Things were disjointed after that.

Every time I opened my eyes, I got a flash of something different. Owen picking me up and carrying me through the woods. Taking me to some sort of sheltered, rocky outcropping. Laying me down on a sleeping bag.

Making me drink some water. Taking off my vest. carefully pulling my clothes away from where they’d stuck to my arms and legs.

He cursed. At first, I wondered why, but then I realized that he must have seen the gunshot wound in my shoulder, the burns on my body, and all the other injuries that

I’d gotten. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that they didn’t hurt too much, that I’d been through worse, but I drifted off once again.

The only things I remembered after that were the soft, soothing scent of vanilla and a few needles pricking here and there at my shoulder, arms, back, and legs. Owen must have brought some of Jo-Jo’s healing ointment with him. That was the only reason I could think of why the pain of my injuries slowly lessened . . .

I don’t know how much time passed before I woke up again. For a long while, I was drifting along in that peaceful blackness. Then I was snapped awake.

I was lying on my side on top of a sleeping bag. A small fire crackled in front of me, the smoke drifting above the shelf of rocks and then disappearing into the night sky. Owen sat in front of the fire, idling poking a stick into the flames. I lay there and watched the play of light and shadow on his face. He’d actually done it. He’d actually come back for me just like he said that he would.

I couldn’t quite believe it, but it meant the world to me.

If it had been Finn or even Bria, I wouldn’t have been so surprised. But Owen and I had been on such shaky ground lately. Still, despite everything that had happened between us, he’d come back for me. Even though it had been dangerous. Even though it would have been easier not to. Even though he could have been captured, tortured, and killed by Grimes and his men.

Despite all that, he’d still come back for me.

Owen must have sensed me staring at him, because he turned in my direction and smiled—a big, broad, beautiful smile that told me how happy he was that I was finally awake.

He started to get up and come over to me, but I waved him off.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

I sat up and winced, as a hundred dull aches and pains shot through my body. “Like I’m a very small rabbit that’s been shaken to within an inch of its life by a very large, very angry dog. Remind me never to go white-water rafting. At least, not without an actual raft.”

He laughed, and the sound wrapped around me like a warm, welcoming hug.

I stared up into the sky; it was dark, except for a smattering of stars twinkling far, far away. “What time is it?”

Owen held his watch up to the fire. “Just after midnight.”

I’d gone over the cliff sometime in the afternoon. I wondered if Grimes and his men were looking for me or if they’d assumed that I’d been dashed against the rocks and drowned in the rapids. Either way, there was nothing that I could do about it tonight.

I glanced around the camp he’d made, but I didn’t see any sign of anyone else’s gear.

“I came back alone,” Owen said, noticing my curious gaze. “Finn hadn’t made it back from his trip yet, and Bria wanted to come with me. Phillip too. But I didn’t give them the chance. I slipped away while they were tending to the others. I didn’t want to waste a second getting back to you.”

“Sophia? Warren?”

“Both safe at cooper’s house,” he answered. “It was slow going, but I was able to get them off the mountain and over there without any problems. Whatever you did to Grimes and his men kept them from chasing after us.” I nodded. I’d tell him about how I’d iced over the ridge later. Now came the question that I was dreading the answer to. “And Jo-Jo?”

“She’s doing much better,” Owen said. “cooper was able to rest and replenish his magic while we went after

Sophia. When he woke up, Jo-Jo was awake too, and she helped him use his Air magic to heal her more. She’s not a hundred percent, but she should be fine in a few days. cooper even had enough magic left to heal the worst of Sophia’s injuries. Warren’s too.”

I let out a breath. Warren, Sophia, and Jo-Jo were all safe and on the mend—for now.

I thought of what Grimes had said, about how he was going to go after Sophia again. He wouldn’t stop until he’d dragged her back up here to his twisted camp. He’d come looking for her sooner, rather than later, especially given what a mess I’d made of things. But Grimes was never getting his hands on Sophia again, I vowed. Because the next time I saw the bastard, I was going to end him.

“What about you?” Owen asked. “What happened?”

I told him everything that I had done to Grimes’s men and everything that Grimes and Hazel had said to me.

Owen listened in silence. Then, after a moment, he grinned. “You really set fire to his moonshine operation?

I would have loved to have seen the look on his face when he realized what you did.”

“It was rather impressive,” I said, grinning back at him. “At least, what I saw of it was. I was hoping that the flames would spread and burn the entire camp to the ground, but that was probably too much to wish for.”

“Probably,” he agreed. “Men like Grimes always seem to have nine lives.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing that I do too.”

Owen returned my grin for a moment, but the expression quickly slid off his face, and his features turned serious once more. He stared at me before his gaze dropped back down to the fire. He started stirring the flames with his stick again. I wondered what he was thinking about, but I decided not to ask. He’d tell me in his own time, and there were other things that I wanted to know right then.

“How did you find me?”

“Well, when I hiked back to the ridge, I didn’t see you anywhere in the camp. All I saw was a charred building and some guys putting out the smoldering remains of a fire. So I hiked back to the pit and the tombstones. I didn’t know what was going on or where you were, but eventually, I was able to creep up and eavesdrop on a couple of Grimes’s men. They were talking about how you’d jumped off a cliff and into the river. So I got out Fletcher’s maps, since I’d brought them back with me, and I tried to figure out where you might have ended up downriver.”

A piece of wood in the fire cracked, causing a few sparks to drift up into the air like fireflies. Owen watched them burn out before he continued his story.

“I hiked around the mountain until I reached the river, then followed it downstream for a few miles. I was searching for you, but I was also using my magic. I was just hoping that you still had on your silverstone vest.”

“So you used your elemental talent for metal to see if you could sense any of it in the area.”

He nodded. “And I finally did. I saw you half-submerged in the water in the canyon and fished you out. After that, well, here we are.” He spread his hands out to both sides, gesturing at the fire and the dark woods beyond.

His story touched me. “You went to all that trouble for me?”

“I’d do all that and more for you,” he said. “I’d do anything for you, Gin.”

I looked at him, wondering at the sudden fervor in his voice. “Owen?”

He hesitated. At first, I thought that he wasn’t going to say anything else, but then he squared his shoulders, lifted his chin, and looked me square in the eyes. “I’m sorry,” he finally said.

“For what?”

“For everything,” Owen replied. “But especially for the way that I treated you after you killed Salina. It was stupid and inexcusable of me.”

I thought back to everything he’d said at Fletcher’s house when he’d told me that he was going to help me rescue Sophia. “Is this one of those things that you’ve been an idiot about?”

He gave me a rueful grin. “One of many. Isn’t it obvious?”

“What changed?”

“I did,” he replied. “I finally grew up. I finally wised

up. And I finally realized just how much I love you.”

I blinked, taken aback by his words—words that I never thought I’d hear him say again. Hope blossomed in my heart that he really meant them, that we were finally dealing with our issues and making some real progress, but I tempered that warm, soft hope with cold, logical reason.

“But you loved Salina too,” I said in a soft voice. “You were . . . upset when I killed her.”

Owen grimaced. “That’s putting it mildly, don’t you think? I turned my back on you. I did the exact same thing to you that Donovan caine did, even though I’d made myself a promise that I would never hurt you like he did, that I would never take you for granted, and that I would especially never judge you for being the Spider. But I did it all anyway, just like he did. Like I said, I’m an idiot.”

I shrugged. Owen’s reaction had hurt, but it hadn’t been unexpected. It was always hard to watch someone you loved die, even when she wasn’t the person you thought she was, even when she’d hurt the other people you cared about.

“You were just trying to protect me from Salina,”

Owen said. “From having to deal with her myself, from having to kill her myself. Because that’s the kind of person you are, Gin. You take care of the people you love, no matter what. I think that’s the thing that I love the most about you.”

The words hung in the air between us, seeming as in— substantial as the smoke curling up from the fire. For a moment, the only sound was the cheery crackling of the flames. I didn’t say anything, but I let him see the doubt in my eyes—doubt that he really meant what he said.

Owen threw his stick down close to the fire, came over, crouched down in front of me, and took my hands in his.

“I love you,” he said. “I will always

love you. Sometimes it scares me just how much I love you. I will never love anyone the way that I love you.”

I couldn’t help but ask the question. “Not even Salina?”

“Especially not Salina,” Owen said. “I was a kid when

I met her, when I loved her. I was young, and I was blind to the kind of person that she really was. I loved who I thought she was, who I wanted her to be, not who she actually turned out to be.”

“But you still didn’t like me killing her. So what changed?”

His lips curved up into a humorless expression. “I did. It was a small thing, really. I’d gone out to have drinks one night with Phillip at Northern Aggression. We got into . . . some trouble, but we managed to get ourselves out of it.”

“Then what happened?”

“I took Phillip home to the Delta Queen, and he said something about how the fight that we’d gotten into was just like the good old days. He grinned at me, and I saw the scrawny kid he’d been back then. And I finally realized how much time Salina had cost me with him and with cooper too. Time that I can never get back. How she’d ruined Eva’s trust in me. How she’d hurt the people I’d cared about over and over again. I knew it all before, of course, but when he said that, it made me realize that I didn’t want to waste any more time, especially not with you. That I needed to quit feeling sorry for myself and guilty that I hadn’t been able to protect Eva, Phillip, cooper, and you from Salina. That what I really needed to do was fix things between me and everyone else.”

He stared at me. “I came up here today to help you rescue Sophia because it was the right thing to do. But I also came because I plan to spend the rest of my life making up for how much I hurt you . . . if you’ll let me.”

“And how long have you felt this way?” I whispered, my heart tightening painfully in my chest.

“I’ve always known it,” Owen said. “I knew how much I loved you the night that you killed Salina so I wouldn’t have to. I knew it at the Briartop museum when you burst into that vault to rescue me. And I knew it again today when you sacrificed yourself so that I could get Sophia and Warren to safety. The people you care about . . . you love them completely, no matter what. And that’s the way that I feel about you too. I was just too much of a coward to admit it to anyone before. Not even to myself—and especially not to you.”

I sat there, digesting his words. For a long time, Owen held my hands and waited—just waited. Finally, though, he spoke again.

“I know that I don’t deserve it,” he said. “Not after everything that I’ve put you through, but I want to try again. I want a second chance, Gin. Please.”

These were the words that I’d longed to hear, that I’d longed for him to say to me for weeks now. And if he’d said them to me when I’d been facing down all those men on the ridge or Grimes and Hazel on the cliff, I would have said yes with no hesitation.

But words meant one thing in the middle of a life-or— death battle and sometimes quite another after the fighting was done.

He’d wounded me so badly, undermined all the trust that I had in him, in us—and especially in him not to hurt me the way that Donovan had. I loved Owen, had opened myself up to him, and he’d still hurt me. I’d had a lot of time to think these past few weeks that we’d been apart. Maybe too much time to think, to worry and wonder and obsess. Because when everything was said and done, I didn’t know if I wanted to go through that again, not even for him. Owen wasn’t the first person who’d broken my heart, but he was the one who’d done the most damage to it.

Maybe he wasn’t the only one here who was a coward.

“Gin?”

“I don’t know,” I finally said in a soft voice. “You . . . you broke my heart, Owen.”

“I know,” he said, his face tight with guilt. “I know how much I hurt you. But I promise you this, Gin, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. And if it takes you some time to trust me again, to love me again, then that’s okay. Days, weeks, months, years. I don’t care.

Because I’ll wait for you. I would wait forever for you.”

All the love that I had for him welled up inside me, blotting out everything else—except for a tiny, stubborn whisper of doubt in the deepest, darkest, blackest part of my heart. I almost said yes then, but I held back at the last possible moment.

Because I couldn’t ignore that tiny whisper and all the dread and fear that it brought along with it. Because I still remembered how it had felt to lose Owen. Because I didn’t want to go through that kind of heartbreak again.

And it could happen—easily. Because I was the Spider, for better or worse, and I would always be the Spider.

There would always be some sort of trouble headed in my direction, someone targeting me, someone wanting to murder me, and it would be all too easy for Owen and me to end up right back where we’d been after I’d killed Salina.

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I just . . . I just don’t know.”

Owen gave me a small, understanding smile, although I could see the disappointment in his face. “And that’s okay too.”

We didn’t speak for a moment.

“come on,” he said, his voice rough with emotion.

“Lie back down. It’s been a long day, and we still have to hike out in the morning. You need your rest.”

He wrapped his arms around me, and together, we lay down on the sleeping bag and faced the fire. His rich, metallic scent once again filled my nose, mixing pleasantly with the woodsmoke, and the warmth of his body enveloped mine, driving away the last of my lingering chill.

I thought about everything that Owen had said and all the emotions that I’d seen flashing in his eyes—heat, desire, need, want, love, and hope. So much hope. A few hours ago, I’d thought that I’d never see him again, and

I would have done anything to have had one more moment with him. Now here Owen was, proclaiming his love for me, and I suddenly couldn’t let him back into my heart.

I could face down a psychopath like Harley Grimes any day of the week, but ask me to open up and risk my heart, and I reverted to that scared, angry, lonely little girl who’d lost her family and had vowed never to let anyone get too close again.

There was no maybe about it. I was definitely a coward.

Tonight, at least.