High Risk

CHAPTER 23

Training was going well even though the entire time the thought hovered that there was still another flight to endure. Eventually Becki simply resigned herself to the fact that she would probably be ill on the return trip.

Still, preventive maintenance wasn’t a stupid idea. When she turned down the granola bar Tripp offered her, Marcus didn’t say a word.

He watched, though. His gaze fixed on her while she coaxed his team through the exercise, although skillwise there wasn’t much she was able to actually teach them.

She stepped beside Marcus and stared at the narrow ledge Alisha had managed to ascend to without any trouble. “They are good. This is definitely just a refresher for them, having me around.”

“I agree and yet, there’s something to be said for trying to impress a hero—they’re a lot sharper since you walked onto the scene. I don’t see them goofing off as much in training because you’re here.”

“I think they’re all a bunch of show-offs. They enjoy having an audience to perform for.” Becki pointed to the family that had stopped to picnic, observing the team train. Marcus casually slid his hand behind her back as she spoke, and she hesitated. “What are you doing?”

“Hmm?” Marcus glanced down. “What?”

“We’re training.” She caught his fingers and tugged until he let go. Then she ignored Marcus and shouted instructions to Tripp, focusing her attention back on the team.

His rumbling laugh snuck along her nerve endings like a low-grade electrical shock, tingling and making her that much more aware of him.

They stopped for a break, Devon and Tripp stretched out on the grass, Xavier and Alisha chatting with Anders as they rested in the shade. Erin sat in the open door of the cockpit reading a book, her dangling feet kicking like a kid.

Marcus stroked her arm and she instinctively jerked away, hiding the motion by grabbing her jacket and slipping it on.

He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“You keep touching me.”

“And that’s wrong?”

“It is while we’re training.” Becki pointed to the ropes that hung from the rock face. “I think the last thing today—”

“No, wait, back up.” Marcus twisted until he was directly between her and the cliffs she’d been trying to discuss. “I’m a little confused here. Is there a specific reason why I’m not allowed to touch you in public?”

“While we’re training,” she corrected. “You touched me in public a few times, I seem to recall.”

“But never while we were around my team.” His face darkened. “Are you trying to keep our relationship a secret from them?”

Becki paused. “Our relationship?”

“Isn’t that a typical guy line? Yes, our relationship. Are you planning to hide the fact that we’re seeing each other for some reason? Because if you are, you neglected to inform me. Also? Forget it.”

“But I’m not . . .”

She stopped and thought it through. She’d talked briefly to Erin about getting involved with Marcus, but was she trying to keep this under wraps? She didn’t think so, but her reactions had said that pretty firmly.

“I don’t know why I’m so antsy. Maybe it’s because I’m tired. I’m not trying to hide anything.” He lifted his brow, and she had to give him that. She was a basket case. “Maybe throwing up on top of too little sleep is making me stupid. I’m sorry if my actions came out wrong. I’m not ashamed to be seen with you. Far from it.”

What he chose to focus on was unexpected. “Why didn’t you sleep? More nightmares?”

Drat. “Yeah, but I’ll be okay. It’s bound to take a while—”

“Dammit, Becki.” Marcus lowered his voice, but his anger screamed out loud and clear. “Why the hell did you go back to the dorms last night? You should have known that might happen.”

“There was nothing you could do about it. If I’m going to have a nightmare, I’m going to have one, and it’s not like you can stop them.”

“I can be there to help you deal with them,” he snarled. He glared over the rock face, his shoulders tight under his T-shirt. “That’s it. When we get back to town we’re grabbing your things from the dorm and you’re moving in with me.”

Something totally wild flashed in a series through her. The muted cheer of him wanting to care for her was rapidly swallowed over by a rush of indignation. “I’m moving in with you?”

“Yes.” He stared her down. “You can’t stay in the dorms for much longer anyway, so you may as well get settled where I can keep an eye on you.”

Oh, he did not just go there. Becki was certain her jaw was on the ground. “Keep an eye on me?”

She didn’t seem to be able to do anything but repeat his words, they were so incredulous. For a smart man he seemed rather oblivious to her unenthusiastic response. Becki wondered exactly how long he planned on digging this particular hole.

“There’s no reason you have to suffer through sleep deprivation. I’ll take care of you.” Marcus stroked her cheek with his knuckles, and she just about lost it.

Her face flushed hot and all traces of exhaustion vanished completely in the rush of anger that filled her nicely. She rose to her feet and glared down, happy to be able to tower over him for once as he remained seated. “Excuse me, did you really just order me to move into your house? What alternate reality are you living in that makes you think bossing me around is a good thing? Especially when it comes to something major like where I live?”

He had the grace to look confused while he rose to his feet. “But I thought you enjoyed staying with me. I thought it helped that I was there the other night when you had the—”

“This discussion is not happening. Not now.” Becki glanced at the team, who still seemed unaware that she was close to throttling their boss. “I appreciate many things about you. The fact you didn’t freak when I lost my cookies during the flight—I appreciated that a lot. Doesn’t mean I’m moving in with you.”

“You like more about me than that.” Marcus caught her arm and twisted her back to face him. “The conversation is good, the list of things we have in common is long, and the sex is more than spectacular.”

“None of which are enough reasons for you to be able to order me around. Good grief.” She yanked her arm free.

He glared daggers at her, opened his mouth to undoubtedly say something stupid—

An alarm rang out from the chopper, and they all jerked in reaction.

Erin was up in an instant. She vanished inside the cockpit as the entire team snatched their bags and gear from where it lay and began piling things into heaps. Marcus was gone, hitting the side of the chopper as the siren faded to a low echo in her ears.

Panic button—she should have known Marcus would have one working, even with the team on training. The props started the slow buildup to full liftoff, the sound of the blades cutting through the air still light as she prepared for the worst.

Becki raced to help Tripp stuff ropes as Alisha and Devon gathered the lines scattered on the hillside. “Emergency call?”

Tripp never stopped. “Guess they didn’t get the memo we were on training this week. You coming with us?”

Her heart pounded harder than it should, and it wasn’t just the thought of being in the chopper. Dealing with a rescue—not possible. Not yet.

“I’d only be in the way.”

“Five-kilometer hike back to the highway. It’s fairly level, though.” He pulled out a cell phone and handed it to her. “If you hit number three when you’re near the highway, my roommate will come and give you a ride to your place.”

“Got it.” She slipped the phone into a pocket and zipped it up. “I know the route back—done it a million times or so.”

He grinned at her, and they both grabbed handfuls of gear and headed to the chopper at a dead run.

Marcus had the team already moving into position. “We’re headed north. First—roll call. Anyone want to bow out? Too fatigued from training? No penalty, no foul, but assess your abilities and let’s get rolling. Erin can drop anyone who says no on the highway. Anders?”

“In.”

“Alisha?”

“In.” She twirled and clambered into position, full harness already in place. She and Anders set up to be able to winch her down as soon as they hit the rescue site.

Marcus continued rapidly through the list, but his gaze was on her. Becki scrambled past him to the cockpit and grabbed two of the water bottles from the cooler. She slipped them into her pack and checked that she had the rest of her gear and clothing.

If he argued with her, he was going to be flying the rescue with sore balls.

“Becki—crawl in the back and batten down.”

“Negative. You don’t want a civilian along. I’ve got an exit plan, water and a ride. If Tripp has a couple granola bars for me, you can be off.”

“Becki . . .” Marcus’s jaw was so firmly set she was afraid he’d hurt himself. Still, she didn’t waver.

And how he responded to her right now was going to set the direction for what happened next between them. Because while she might enjoy having him dominate her during sex, ordering her around in life decisions was the next wrong progression up from that macho you will move in with me bullshit he’d just tried to pull.

Maybe he knew that. His gaze stayed sharp, but he nodded briskly, glancing at his watch. “Sunset. I’m calling David. If you’re not at the highway by sunset he’ll come find you. You got numbers? Phone fully charged?”

Tripp leaned across him and tossed Becki a couple of granola bars. “Fully charged and all the numbers labeled. She’s a go. We’re ready to roll, boss.”

Marcus took a deep breath. “If you’re sure. Throwing up during a flight isn’t the worst thing ever, Becki.”

“Go. I’m a hundred percent to stay.”

He shook his head but moved, climbing in and getting into a seat. The chopper was already lifting into the air as Becki tucked and ran from the revolving props.

Watched it rise and leave her behind.

Marcus ran on autopilot. His team worked efficiently, completing the rescue without a hitch as they pulled victims from the crevasse. He’d made sure his focus stayed on directing as needed, observing the talented group as they worked together. He really did have the finest team around.

The entire time, though, there was a part of his brain wondering where Becki was and how she was doing. His focus stayed sharp enough, so it wasn’t a danger, but until his cell phone hummed and the text came through that she was home, something inside stayed tight with worry.

He’d fucked up big-time back during training.

Then again, so had she.

Having her twitch away from him had made him angrier than he expected. Although her explanation about being exhausted made sense—bad decisions were made while sleep deprived—he still wouldn’t allow her to brush them off like that.

Only she was right as well. Ordering her around wasn’t his brightest move ever. Her fire and determination were part of why he admired the hell out of her. Why would he want her to cave in?

Convince? Cajole? One of those would be far better, considering their personalities.

By the time they were headed home, he had his plan of attack figured out. Debrief first—a formality since the team had worked like a well-oiled cog this time. Next up would be a non-emotional call to Becki offering his company.

A strong drink if she turned him down. Maybe two.

Erin landed them back at the pad, the clock ticking over to nearly ten P.M. David stepped from the hangar doors to greet them, a group of four local students rushing forward to take gear from his weary team.

David slapped him on the shoulder. “Thought you’d like a little help unloading.”

“Thank you.” Marcus pointed at the showers. “Lifeline, you’ve got a fifteen-minute reprieve. Soak your brains, then regroup. David’s students are cleaning up your mess.”

“Yeah, David.” Tripp high-fived him as he passed by.

Alisha stopped and gave David a kiss on the cheek. “You have a heart of gold.”

“Don’t expect this all the time,” he warned. “I felt sorry for you doing both training and pulling bodies.” David glanced at Marcus as activity wove around them. “You okay?”

Marcus nodded. “You heard from Becki?”

“She’s fine. Hiked out with the group of tourists who had been watching your team train and got a ride with them. She called me, and she said she’d contact you as well.”

“Texted. Is she okay, though?”

David held out his phone. “Call her if you’re so worried.”

Marcus shook his head. He wasn’t going to make his call in public. “I should give her a little room.”

“Uh-oh.” His brother leaned in closer. “What did you do now?”

Fuckhead. Marcus ignored him and sat on the couch to wait for the crew to return. “Remind me why I like her?”

David laughed and slapped him on the shoulder before heading over to guide the volunteers through their tasks.

By the time all the team had gathered and they’d completed analyzing the rescue, Marcus’s shoulders were aching with tension. It seemed to take forever until the staff room was finally empty, the last of the squad headed yawning for the door.

He hit autodial before he could think it through.

She picked up on the second ring. “Rescue went well?”

“All safe, team intact.” All the things he knew she’d want to know. “Alisha did this three-point twirl that was sheer poetry. Fastened rescue lines and clamped belayers into position all with blood rushing to her brain. How the hell that girl can keep oriented is damn freaky.”

Becki laughed. “When you like climbing, it’s not that difficult to know right side up even when you’re upside down.”

Marcus was silent for a minute. “Sorry for abandoning you. I . . .” No. Telling her she should have come with them, at least to the highway, was out of line. She’d been safe; she’d made her own decision. It wasn’t what he wanted, but he’d have to suck it up. “How are you?”

“Good.”

She wasn’t going to make this easy. “Do you want some company?”

Becki sighed, the telltale sounds of the creaky student bed complaining in the background as she wiggled. “Marcus, I need to think. And the walk out wasn’t long enough. So, thank you for offering, but not tonight.”

Marcus pinched the bridge of his nose and held on to the words that wanted to burst out. Instead, he spoke slowly and tried for reasonable instead of asshole. “If you change your mind, let me know.”

“Sure.” Noncommittal. The word clipped and tight.

Screw that. Holding on to reasonable got a whole lot harder. “Becki, I mean it. I’ll back off now because you’ve asked me to. But you call me even in the middle of the goddamn night if you need something. Got it?”

“No problem.” Becki couldn’t seem to get out of the conversation fast enough. “I’d better let you go. I’ll see you at training tomorrow.”

He stared at the phone and wondered how bad he had it that his first reaction to that crap was to head over to the dorms and use a little rope on her until she came to her senses.

Anger rushed through him, blazing out of nowhere. Having to leave her behind had nearly ripped him in two. The nausea and fear that had earlier numbed him flipped into fury and he roared, the sound echoing in the empty staff room.

A sharp pulse of pain struck, and he cursed as the demons in his memory swooped in. It was as if they knew he was susceptible—the sight of her wide eyes and her fear bringing in a flood of guilt and regrets.

You can’t help her. You can’t save yourself . . . you can’t save anyone.

He fought the rising violence. Fought the urge to tear apart the room in his frustration. Ignored the aching call that followed that demanded he lie down and disappear into the mindless state that an episode would reduce him to.

Instead, he focused on Becki and clung to the hope she’d brought him. He pictured her green eyes, not fear-filled, but full of passion and life. The memory anchored him, and he caught hold as if she’d personally extended a safety line. Remembering her vivid expressions soothed his raw nerves—all of her moods, whether passion, stubbornness, or righteous anger.

Imagining the caress of her hand on his skin held him back from the precipice.

He forced himself to head home, determined to keep from falling into the darkness again. For Becki’s sake.

The night was cold and shadow-filled, and he wondered if part of the reason he’d wanted so badly for her to accept his offer was for his own sake.

All the rest of the week she kept that barrier between them. He avoided being around while she worked Lifeline, only showing up for their agreed-upon personal training times. Becki hit the wall and fought it as if she were grappling with her own demons instead of handholds. She didn’t argue with him but didn’t have any kind of breakthrough in terms of going vertical.

When it was her turn to take the lead, she was demon-possessed there as well, putting him through workouts that left him drenched in sweat and almost too tired to be annoyed that things were moving in the wrong direction.

Restraining his temper and holding his tongue without insisting that she listen to him and let them get back to where they had been headed was damn hard. It seemed it was going to take something big to get her to listen, and the only big thing that came to mind made him nauseated. Being patient was no longer working—that was clear from the dark circles under both their eyes. It was time he stopped letting her call the shots.

If he had to dress in a tux and face a formal event to make nice, he’d grit his teeth and do it.