Hold On To Me

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The crisp mountain air was exactly what Mitch needed.

He paused along the snowy trail, drew in a deep breath, and turned to look for Simone. She was still ten yards back, breathing heavily as she climbed the steadily rising path toward him, lifting her snowshoes with every step as if they were lead weights attached to her feet.

Okay, not exactly what he needed, but a strong second. If she’d taken him up on his offer back at the house, he’d have gladly locked himself inside for one more day and made sure they were both thoroughly sweaty and exhausted in the sweetest way. But part of him was glad she hadn’t. Because sex between them had never been a problem. It was everything else—the secrets, the omissions, the holding back—that had done them in. And this excursion at least gave them the chance to spend more time together and hopefully bridge the gap they’d created between them.

Lodgepole pine, white fir, and spindly aspen that had just lost their leaves stretched to the gray sky. He’d thrown snowshoes in the back of the rig before they’d left, just in case, and was now glad. Though most of the snow from the earlier storm had melted down by the lake, up here a layer of white still covered the ground and hid the trail. He’d made Simone pull on snow pants, boots, and the snow shoes before they’d left the car, which she’d bitched about, but once she’d gotten the hang of it, she’d stopped complaining. For the most part. Of course, watching her try to navigate the terrain with all the gear was thoroughly entertaining, and every time she sent him one of her adorably irritated looks, it only made him smile wider.

Simone reached him, her cheeks rosy, her chest rising and falling beneath the thick jacket, her breath making tiny wisps of steam all around her. “You didn’t bother to mention this hike was uphill the entire way.”

Before he could stop himself, he tugged the white knit cap farther over her ears so they didn’t get cold. She had no idea how cute she looked right now—his own personal Stay Puft Marshmallow girl. “Think of it this way, it’ll be downhill the entire trip back.”

Her frown told him she was less than impressed. “This looks like it could be a road.”

“It is in the summer.” Reluctantly, he let go of her and moved back up the path, slowing his pace so she could keep up with him. “The gate where we parked is usually open when the weather’s good.”

“You mean we could have driven all the way up here and missed out on all this fun?”

He laughed. She was such a city girl. Usually that was a major turn-off for him, but every single thing about her turned him on. It always had.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she muttered. “I successfully managed avoiding the outdoors with you all these months, and the first time I cave, it’s in the middle of winter, when I’m freezing my ass off. Yeah, this makes sense.” Louder, she said, “Speaking of the weather. Is it just me or does that look like trouble?”

The clouds moving up from the southwest looked like trouble to Mitch too, though “trouble” was subjective depending on one’s interpretation. He’d glanced at the weather report before they’d left. He knew that the storm moving in wasn’t going to be a big one. The worst that could happen was they’d get stuck out here for a night, if that.

The thought of being stuck with Simone pinged around in his brain and heated his blood. Being locked in Kendrick’s giant house together was one thing. Being trapped alone together in the great outdoors where they’d have to huddle together to stay warm took on a completely different meaning.

“Mitch?”

Her voice brought him around. He glanced her way and realized she was ten feet in front of him on the path, watching him carefully. “Yeah?”

“Should we go back?”

Go back and walk on eggshells around each other, or stay here and see where it went. He glanced from her worried eyes to her gorgeous lips. Her cold, pink, perfect lips he wanted to kiss now more than yesterday.

“We’re fine.” He moved toward her, his stomach tightening with every step, his awareness of her inching up the closer he drew. “It’s not much farther.”

He stopped in front of her. Even with the elevation and her standing uphill, he was still taller than her. Her chin lifted, and her chocolate eyes narrowed in a way he’d seen her do in the courtroom when a witness gave an answer she knew was false. “Why do I get the feeling you’re up to something?”

Because she was as keen as a bloodhound, and because she knew him. Really well. But tonight he wanted her to know him a whole lot better.

One side of his mouth curled in a smirk. He stepped around her, careful not to touch her. There’d be time for that later. Hopefully. “Now what could I possibly be up to out here in the middle of the wilderness?”

“You tell me,” she said. Then, in a whisper: “Um, Mitch?”

He stopped and turned back. She wasn’t looking at him. She was staring at something off in the trees. “What now?”

“Please tell me that isn’t what I think it is.”

His gaze slid past her and into the trees, to the large four-legged creature ambling parallel to them at least a hundred yards away.

Slowly, he made his way back down to her. “Don’t make any loud noises.”

“Oh. My. God,” she whispered.

“Your chances of being attacked by a bear are less than your chances of being hit by lightning,” he told her, trying to diffuse her anxiety. She’d gone rigid next to him, her eyes wide with fear. Grasping her gloved hand in his, he slowly tugged her up the path. “He hasn’t looked our way, which is a good thing. Come on.”

She followed but kept glancing over her shoulder toward the bear, which was now moving away from them. “Have I ever mentioned I hate the great outdoors?”

He chuckled.

“There’s no way I’m going back down there now.”

He smiled, loving the way she gripped his hand tightly in his, loving the way she was now plastered to his side. “I may need to send that bear a fish basket to say thanks.”

She frowned, a sexy little pout that turned her lips and made him want to kiss them all over again. “The view up there better be worth it.”

It probably wouldn’t be—at least to her—but finding a way to fix things between them? Yeah, that was totally worth whatever the cost.

Simone paused along the trail to catch her breath.

The air was a lot thinner than she was used to, and it seemed to take twice as much energy to go half the distance as it did at sea level. As she braced her hands on her knees, she drew in large breaths, hoping to ease that low burn in her lungs while she turned to look down the path again.

Still no sign of that bear. A bear, for God’s sake. Mitch owed her. Owed her big-time agreeing to this crazy activity. She didn’t even like bears in zoos.

“We’re almost there, sweetheart. Don’t give up now.”

Lifting her head, she glared up the trail toward Mitch, who stood near the trunk of a pine tree, seemingly unfazed by the elevation or the fact they could have been lunch. Granted, it wasn’t a difficult hike, and that bear hadn’t even looked their way or tried to follow them. But still… It was a bear!

She glanced up at the sky again. It was definitely growing grayer, the air temperature dropping. She could barely feel her nose anymore. They’d gotten a later start than she’d thought, mostly because Ford had insisted on finding all the snow gear for them, and she wasn’t sure of the time, but it was definitely heading toward late afternoon. Going back down would probably be a lot faster than coming up, but there was no way she was going down until that bear had plenty of time to disappear.

She looked back at Mitch, who didn’t seem the least concerned about anything other than his precious hike. Her eyes narrowed. He was definitely up to something. The red parka he was wearing brought out a ginger hue in his beard she hadn’t noticed before, but it was the sparkle in his green eyes and that lopsided grin accentuating his dimple that made her suspicious. And revved her pulse.

Slowly, she made her way up to where he stood waiting for her. When he handed her the water bottle, she took it and downed a generous sip. “How far is ‘almost there’?”

“Two hundred yards, if that. It’s just up around that bend.”

Two football-field lengths didn’t seem that bad. He pointed up the hill, and Simone looked past him at the snow covering the ground, then to the cloud behind her, which seemed a whole lot closer than it had only moments before. “We’re not going to freeze to death out here, are we?” She faced him again. “I know you’ve been mad at me, but I’m starting to worry you dragged me all the way up here to make my death look like a random accident. Hypothermia, starvation, being lunch for some giant beast…. The possibilities are growing by the minute.”

Mitch laughed, a throaty, sexy sound, and took the water bottle back from her. His hand grazed hers in the process, and for a fleeting moment, she wished neither of them had been wearing gloves.

Which was just asinine. She knew better than to go there with him. And as much as she’d grumbled about this hike, it had at least given her something to do rather than daydream about him all day.

His brow lifted beneath the rim of his cap. “The only kind of bears around here are black bears, and they’re more scared of us than we are of them. Trust me. No beast is going to eat you. At least not the bear kind.”

The spark in his eyes sent her blood humming, but she tamped it down, not wanting to go there. “Okay, so you’re not planning to kill me by bear. That only eliminates one possibility.”

His smile widened. “If I didn’t know you better, Counselor, I’d think you were nervous.”

Of course she was nervous. She had every reason to be. She’d lied to him, broken his heart, ruined his future. Any sane woman would be worried he could be plotting some kind of major payback, but when she was with him, she didn’t feel sane. She never had. The minute Mitch Mathews had stepped into her life, sane had flown straight out the window.

Regardless of everything she’d done, though… This was Mitch. He was as rugged and rough around the edges as any outdoorsman, but his heart was made of gold. And after the way he’d held her in that safe room, she knew he’d never hurt her, even if she had it coming.

Stomach tight, she pulled her hand away. Words hovered on her tongue, an explanation she knew he deserved, but she couldn’t get them out. Call it pride or self-preservation or even just the simple fact they’d agreed not to discuss anything that had happened, but…she didn’t want anything to ruin this moment. She’d never admit it to him, but he’d been right—she did need to get out of that house—and part of her was actually enjoying this, even if she was still worried about bear attacks and freezing to death and all other kinds of impending doom.

She frowned, because even to her, that reasoning sounded idiotic. “Better be careful, or your lips will freeze in that stupid Joker grin.”

He leaned in so close, his minty breath warming her cheek, taking her completely by surprise. “Better be careful, or I’ll find something physical to do to keep my lips nice and warm.”

Her gaze shot to his lips. To his plump, masculine lips she knew felt like heaven against her own. A deep, dark craving rolled through her core, sparking electricity in her belly, sending waves of heat all through her hips that radiated down between her legs and up to her breasts. Her limbs fell slack, her stomach caved in, and she sucked in a breath, watching as his smile widened into a sexy, Cheshire cat, I know exactly what I’m doing to you grin.

“Message received,” he whispered. Then, easing back, “Come on, sweetheart. You don’t want to miss this. I promise it’s going to be good.”

He headed up the path again. And as Simone tried to settle her thumping heart, the first snowflake flittered through the air in front of her.

Oh boy. She was in big trouble here. She had no doubt whatever he planned was going to be incredibly good. The question was, could she resist it? Because after today, she knew for sure that he was no longer pissed at her. And while part of her was relieved by that fact, another part was deathly afraid. Fighting her own desires was one thing. Fighting his when he turned on the Mitch Mathews I’m gonna make you mine charm? Something entirely different.

He’d already rounded the bend by the time she got her act in gear and started moving again. When she reached the corner, she caught sight of the Martis Peak fire lookout and slowed her feet. It was still a ways ahead, up the steepest part of their hike, but it was more than she’d expected.

The small square building with a pointed roof sat on top of a rock outcropping. A deck ran all the way around the lookout, and a flagpole, void of flag, stood tall against the darkening sky.

Mitch had already made it to the base of the rocks and was waving for her to catch up. Steeling her resolve, she lifted her foot so the stupid snowshoe wouldn’t get stuck. By the time she reached him, she was sweaty, shaking with nerves, and more than a little ticked she couldn’t seem to get her own stupid emotions under control.

“These may work, but they totally slow you down.” He knelt in front of her to unhook her showshoes. “No wonder it’s taking you forever. Your buckle snapped.”

She looked down at the latch he held in his hand and realized that was why it had felt like she was dragging the damn thing. “I told you the great outdoors and I don’t get along.”

He chuckled and unlatched her other snowshoe. “There’s never a better time to change that.” Rising to his feet, he grasped her gloved hand with his and tugged her up the stairs. “Almost there.”

If she hadn’t been worried about slipping on the ice-and-snow-covered steps, she’d have pulled her hand free. As it was, she bit back the protest on her lips and yanked the collar of her jacket up to block the bite of wind rushing over the deck of the small building. But when she saw the view, her mouth fell open, and all thought slipped from her mind.

“Oh…wow.”

“Too bad this weather’s moving in,” Mitch said at her back as she stepped up to the railing. “I bet the view this morning was pretty stellar.”

With the light snow falling and the thickening clouds, she couldn’t see much more than the outline of the lake below and the snowy mountains on the Nevada side; the California side was already blanketed in white, blocking the view. But it was enough. The lake was huge, the water a deep crystal blue she’d never seen before. Her gaze skipped over the north edge of the lake, and she searched for Kendrick’s house but couldn’t see it. On a clear day, she was sure you could see all the way to Heavenly Ski Resort in South Lake Tahoe.

“This side isn’t quite so bad.”

The sound of Mitch’s voice on the far side of the building drew her from the view. She followed the decking around the corner of the building. From here, the view stretched to Truckee and the white-capped mountains beyond. Several lakes dotted the landscape, and a long road stretched across a valley.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“Truckee-Tahoe Airport. Kendrick usually flies in and out of there. Faster than driving up from Sacramento. Those mountains make up the Granite Chief Wilderness.”

“And that?” She pointed to another, smaller body of water to the northwest.

“Donner Lake.”

“We passed that on the way here, didn’t we?”

He glanced sideways at her. “You have good eyesight when you’re asleep.”

Oh yeah. She’d been pretending to sleep on the drive to Tahoe. She’d forgotten that. Her cheeks heated.

He tugged her to the east side of the lookout, his face like that of a kid in a candy store, eager to share what he’d already found. “On a good day, you can see almost all the way to Reno. You’ve got almost a three-hundred-sixty degree view from up here.” He frowned and looked up into the clouds, his cheeks as rosy as hers, his nose a soft shade of red. “I wish you could see it.”

She believed him. And she wished she could see it all too. Walking around the other side of the building again, she watched as the clouds slowly moved over Lake Tahoe, smothering it in a field of white. There was no one around. No sound except the wind curling through the trees. No one who could see her or care about what she was doing. And for a moment, she felt as small as one of the snowflakes floating in the air. The people who were chasing her, everything that had happened in the last few days… None of it seemed to matter when she was looking at a view as vast and awe-inspiring as this.

“Pretty cool, huh?”

He moved up behind her, and she sensed he was close, even though he didn’t touch her. “Yeah. Very cool. I can’t even see the bear that was following us.”

His laughter echoed on the breeze and slowly died off. “This is what I love most about hiking. Getting to the top and realizing…you’re a part of something really amazing. You might not be able to see it all the time. You might not be able to feel it. But it’s all around you. And it’s always there when you need a little reassurance that the world isn’t so bad after all.”

Her throat grew thick, her eyes damp as she looked out over the steadily shrinking view. All these months she’d repeatedly turned down his requests to take her hiking, she hadn’t realized he’d been trying to show her a piece of who he was inside. Not just the laid-back, carefree, sexy man she’d been dating, but the real him. And to share with her that what he felt for all this was similar to what he felt for her. That to him, what they had was just as amazing and awe-inspiring as what was always around them.

“You’re shivering,” he said softly just behind her. “Let’s go inside and get warmed up.”

Yes, she was cold, but she wasn’t shaking because of the temperature. She was shaking because even with all the awful things she’d done to him in the last few days, she knew he still loved her. No one had ever loved her like that. Not her parents or Steve or even Shannon. Not to the point that they could put aside their own hurt and forgive the way he did. The way he was doing right now.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her around the side of the building. Pushing the door open with his hip, he drew her into the square room with windows on every side that looked out at the view. It was still cold in here, but the bitter bite of wind was gone, and for the first time she realized how frozen her cheeks were.

He dropped his pack on the floor and pulled her into his body, rubbing his hands up and down her arms to stimulate circulation. “Maybe this hike wasn’t such a good idea. We left later than I thought we would.”

“I-I’m fine,” she stuttered. But was she? She wasn’t sure anymore. Even in the middle of all the craziness, things had made sense. When she knew what she had to do, when she focused on a goal like getting Shannon somewhere safe, she could convince herself she was doing the right thing. But these last few days with Mitch… Nothing made sense anymore.

“We should have turned around when I noticed the clouds getting darker.”

He continued to rub her arms, but he wasn’t looking at her anymore. He was focused on the steadily darkening view. Worry tingled over her nerve endings. “Are you saying we’re…that we’re going to get snowed in up here?”

His focus slid back to her. And in his soft green gaze, she saw confidence. A confidence that calmed her in a way nothing else could. “Not exactly. This storm won’t dump more than a few inches. But it’s getting dark. We have two choices. We can head down now, although we won’t make it to the rig before dark and there’s no telling how long it will take with your broken snowshoe—”

“Going back now means we could run into that bear, though, right?”

An amused smile turned his lips. “Probably not. I’m sure he’s long gone.”

“What’s our other option?”

“We can stay here for the night.”

Stay here? Overnight? In these close quarters? Her nerves jumped all over again as she looked around the small room, but this time it had nothing to do with the fear of freezing. “H-here? Can we d-do that?”

His hands ran up and down her sleeves. And oh, what that smile did to her insides… “This lookout’s on forest service land. They leave it unlocked for snow backpackers and campers, just like us.”

Just like them.

A thought hit, and her eyes narrowed on that wicked grin. “You didn’t plan this, did you?”

He feigned shock. “Planned this? The storm and darkness and your busted snowshoe?”

“Don’t forget the bear.”

He chuckled. “I’d have to be pretty talented to plan all that and make it work. We both know I’m not that organized.”

He could be, though. When he put his mind to something, she had no doubt he could be successful at whatever he wanted. And that thought only excited her more, because she both loved and feared the idea of being stuck up here alone with him.

“Assuming I vote for staying,” she said, her stomach a mass of nerves, “that doesn’t solve the problem of hypothermia. We’re out of the wind, but it’s already below freezing.” And it would only get colder. Which meant they’d have to rely on each other for warmth.

A tingle ran down her spine at the thought.

“I’ve got that covered.” Letting go of her, he knelt in front of his pack. He yanked off his gloves, set those on the ground, then extracted an LED light that looked like a cross between a flashlight and a lantern and flipped it on, illuminating the darkening room. After setting that on the floor, he pulled out a silver blanket folded into a ten-by-ten square and handed it to her. Finally, he extracted a round grill-like looking thing with a neck, a one-pound propane tank and connected the two. He reached into his pocket and produced a lighter, which he used to light the contraption. Seconds later, the inside of the round grill turned a red-orange color, and warmth seeped from the device.

“Heat?” Simone yanked off her gloves and knelt to place her hands in front of the small portable heater. “You brought a heater with you? What else do you have in that magic pack?”

Mitch attached a circular base to the heater and set it on the floor. “A few things to tide us over. I don’t usually pack the heater, but this was a short hike, and I wasn’t sure how cold you’d get.”

Right now, Simone didn’t care if it made her look like a wimpy city girl or not. She was simply thankful for the warmth.

While she warmed her hands, he set up the folding table in the room—the only furniture in the place—and moved his pack to the surface. Outside, the snow was definitely picking up, and the light was fading, making it impossible to see the lake below anymore.

“We won’t be able to run the heater all night.” Mitch set a canteen, trail mix, a handful of granola bars, and a package of beef jerky on the table. “That tank will only last about five hours. But we can run it off and on, enough to take the chill off until morning.”

Simone glanced over the measly selection, not particularly hungry but knowing she needed to eat something. She opted for a granola bar and a bit of jerky.

Settling herself on the floor in front of the heater, she unzipped her jacket and began eating. The room was already growing warmer, and whatever worry had been lingering was now gone. At least any worry over the temperature.

“Have you stayed up here before?” she asked, working for normal when she felt anything but.

He grabbed his own granola bar and sat cross-legged on the floor next to her. “No. But I’ve always wanted to. Beats the hell out of a tent in the middle of the snow.”

Simone chewed and figured that had to be true. “Did you ever bring Ryan up here?”

“Once. He bitched the whole way. And it was summer. You’ve got bigger balls than he does, that’s for sure.”

Simone couldn’t help it—she laughed, then covered her mouth. Mitch grinned and ripped open his granola bar. From inside his jacket, he produced a flask. He unscrewed the top and handed it to her. “I think you’ve earned this.”

She took a small sniff, then a sip that warmed her insides all the way to her belly. Brandy. Wiping the back of her hand over her mouth, she blinked several times, then handed it back to him. “I think you solved the food-and-warmth problem.”

“Not exactly.” He took a sip of the brandy and then screwed the lid closed. “It’s going to get cold in here once we turn off the heater. Which means if you’re opting for staying, we’re going to have to find another way to generate heat.”

All those nerves came screaming back to life, and Simone’s cheeks heated. She could suddenly think of several ways to generate heat with him. And not a single one was safe.

Mitch glanced out the windows, which were now almost completely black. “Better decide soon, or Mother Nature’s going to decide for you.”

Simone’s gaze followed. And though it went against everything she’d been telling herself these last few days, she knew she didn’t want to be anywhere else tonight but right here with him. “It looks to me like she already decided.”