Homestead

Chapter Twenty-eight

Tess stood at the kitchen window, her back to the wood-burning stove, watching the rain scour trenches into the drive and collect in pools in the pastures. When she’d checked the creek on her way back to the house, it had already risen a couple of feet, and broken branches and other debris swirled in the roiling muddy water. If the storm kept up at the rate it had the last few hours, the creek would overflow and the fields would flood. Already, parts of the drive looked on the verge of washing out. Their prayers for rain had been answered, but God or someone was laughing.

“Tess?” Clay’s voice was staticky but strong.

“I’m here,” she said wearily. “Did you make it back all right?”

“Yeah, fine. How are things out there?”

“All right for now. Ask me again in twelve hours.” Tess hadn’t expected Clay to call—she hadn’t known what to expect. Part of her thought she’d driven her away, that she’d never see her again, and that part of her wept for all they’d shared and for the loss of all the magical moments that might have been. She couldn’t deny—didn’t want to deny—the hours they’d spent so deep inside one another there’d been nothing else—no past hurts, no present questions, no future fears. And the other part of her, the one that wanted to push her away and wanted her gone, resisted the rapid beat of her heart and the tingling that started in her throat and streamed through her like an electric charge at the mere sound of Clay’s voice. If she locked Clay out of her heart, she would be safe and her life would go on as it had been—hard but rewarding, solitary but fulfilling. After all, she wasn’t a teenager any longer—she was beyond taking risks and challenging the fates. Wasn’t she? “I think I might owe you an apology.”

“I can’t imagine why.”

“I didn’t handle everything you told me this morning very well. I’m afraid I let my feelings get in the way of my judgment.” Tess thought about the stories she’d told herself all her life—of who she was, who Clay was, and who was to blame for writing an ending that broke her heart. “I was wrong to put it all on you. I—”

“No, you weren’t. I screwed up. Look, I’m headed out to the construction camp. I need to come by and talk to you.”

“Today?” Tess scanned the sky. The sun was a memory, buried behind a wall of dense black cloud. The rain gauge clamped to a post in the yard was filling fast, and the rain showed no sign of letting up. “That’s not a great idea. We’re getting an inch an hour, maybe more. That’s flood level, Clay, and the kind of flash floods we get around here can take a car under pretty fast.”

“I’ve got a big SUV,” Clay said with bravado that came clearly down the line. “But I’ll be careful. Can I see you?”

She should say no—even if Clay was crazy enough to travel in this, and of course she was, she should say no until she had more time to absorb everything she’d learned about Ray. Until she could find solid ground again. “The ground has only ever been solid with you.”

“What?”

When she wiped the clouds of disillusionment away, Tess knew with absolute certainty she’d never been more secure, more confident, and more ready to take on any challenge than when she’d been with Clay. She’d been managing just fine on her own, but the world had grown smaller and a little darker. “There’s something I want to talk to you about too. So if you can make it, you’re welcome to come by.”

“I’ll be there in an hour. Do you need anything?”

Tess smiled wryly. There were a lot of things she needed, but nothing she could ask Clay for. To rewrite the past was never an option for anyone, and she’d finally accepted that. To undo the secret dealings Ray had had with Clay’s father? Not Clay’s fault or problem to fix. To stop the rain before the crops drowned? Beyond anyone’s powers. To give her the strength to trust again? Only she could do that.

“Just get here safely,” Tess said, and as she spoke, she realized that was all she really wanted. She wanted Clay. “Just be safe.”

Clay texted Ella that she was leaving, and by the time she reached the SUV, Ella was behind the wheel.

“I’ve been listening to the weather and road reports,” Ella said. “A couple of the smaller roads are already closed—bridge washouts. I told Kelly to stay put at the trailer.”

“How are things out there?”

“A lot of the guys are out of the area for the weekend, so there’s only a skeleton crew on-site. Besides being wet and bored, they’re fine.”

“Kelly?”

“Dry and bored.”

Clay laughed. “Tell her she’ll get hazard pay.”

“Huh. I’m not sure that will be enough. She’s grumbling about not being able to sleep—too quiet.”

“Things have been quiet. Maybe we can let her head back.”

“Maybe.” Ella sounded cautious as she maneuvered carefully around a slew of branches, leaves, and bits of trash littering the road. “I was talking to the innkeepers this morning. They say this kind of storm always ends up bringing down a lot of trees—power outages and flooding are common.”

“We’ve got enough propane to run the generators for a week if the power goes down. Hopefully, we’ll be able to stay on schedule.”

“I think the guys are going to be grounded awhile.”

“I ought to be out there with them—if there’s a problem, I want to deal with it.” She hesitated. She had nothing to hide, and Ella wasn’t the type to make assumptions about anything—including relationships. But she had Tess’s privacy to consider. She’d let her down too many times, and she wasn’t going to continue. “First I need to talk to Tess. When we get to camp, I’ll take the Jeep over to Tess’s. You can keep the SUV in case you and Kelly want to leave.”

Ella turned her head, stared hard. “Clay—look out the window. Can’t it wait?”

Clay shook her head, her gaze locked on Ella’s. “It’s already waited fifteen years too long.”

“It’s not my business,” Ella said, turning on the county road leading to the job site, “but why the hell did you wait all this time? It’s pretty clear you still have feelings for her.”

“I told myself lots of reasons,” Clay said, “most of which were honorable and downright heroic. But the truth of it is, I was ashamed to face her. I didn’t deserve her then and I don’t deserve her now, but if I can figure out what to do so that I will, I want to.”

Ella shook her head, her laugh short and a little bitter. “I don’t think love has much to do with whether you deserve it or not. Maybe you just need to be lucky enough to recognize it and not blow it when you have the chance.”

“Voice of experience?”

“Something like that.” Ella sent Clay a fleeting grin that was humor mixed with a little bit of pain. “You, though—you’ve always struck me as being really lucky.”

“I thought my luck had run out the summer I lost Tess. Since then, I haven’t really cared how my risks paid off.”

“Well, I hope this time the odds are in your favor.”

“Thanks,” Clay said. “Is there anything else you and I need to settle?”

“I was considering a duel at dawn, but the weather kind of put an end to that idea.” Ella concentrated on the road. “I’ll tell you what I told Tess. I think Tess is a great woman. I’ve liked getting to know her. She never suggested we were going anywhere, so I’ll be glad if we can be friends.”

“So will I,” Clay murmured. She hoped there would be more than friendship for her, but Tess might not agree.