Honor and Betray

Chapter Eighteen

I knew where I was going. All roads led to Emma. I tried to force the thought from my mind that I had kept tabs on her location.

As we pulled up in front of the small house, I immediately recognized it from the pictures in the envelope. I paid the cab driver and slowly made my way to the front door. The house was dark, and I could see Emma curled into a ball on the couch. I turned the knob, and the door popped free from the latch.

I wanted to be upset that she hadn’t locked it to protect herself, but I knew the only one she needed to keep out was me, and it was more than obvious that wasn’t going to happen.

I slipped inside and closed the door behind me as she let out a whimper. I quietly made my way to her side as her brows furrowed. She was having a nightmare. I placed my hand on her shoulder, electricity pulsing through my fingertips from the touch of her warm skin. She flipped over and her eyes flew open, filled with fear.

“It’s me.”

She took a deep breath as her eyes scanned my face. “Jesus.” Her head fell back on the cushion.

“What was your nightmare about?” She looked away and rubbed her hands over her face but didn’t answer. “Me?”

“What are you doing here? Did you…did you remember?” There was a look of hope and fear in her eyes.

“No. I couldn’t take not seeing you. My place feels so empty.”

“How did you find me?” She sat up, stretching her arms over her head, revealing a sliver of her small waist.

“There was a tracking app on my phone.” I smiled when she didn’t seem to recoil or panic at my presence. “That probably isn’t a good thing.” I pulled my hand back from her shoulder, my heart sinking at the loss of contact.

“Not really.” She swung her legs over the edge of the couch. I stood up, wanting to pull her into my arms.

“I really fucked up.” I sighed as I shoved my hands into my pockets to keep myself from touching her.

“How did you get here?” she asked.

“I took a cab.”

She pushed to her feet, just inches from me as she nodded. Her shirt had ridden up in her sleep, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her panties. Her gaze followed mine, and she pulled down her shirt and walked around me toward the kitchen. She began to make a pot of coffee, and I cursed myself for not waiting until a decent hour to come see her. I had a million questions running through my mind and so few answers. I was terrified to let her know that I had pieced any of it together until I could see the big picture.

The time away from Emma only confirmed that not having her in my life wasn’t an option. I just needed her to open up to me. If I could get her talking, maybe she would see that not everything was a lie.

“Whose funeral did we attend?” I asked as her back went rigid.

“My aunt’s.” Her voice was softer now. “You remember?”

“Not everything. Just bits and pieces.” A half-truth. I was able to figure out some of what had happened over the past week, but none of it seemed like it was real. It was all just outside my grasp. “Did she live here? With you?”

Emma set a mug down in front of me on the table, her large green eyes searching mine. “Thank you.”

“I lived here with her, yes.” She took a sip of her drink as her eyes travelled down the hallway behind me. I followed her gaze.

“It must be hard for you to be here.” I took a drink of my coffee as I watched her. She nodded, and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. “You can come home…with me. I won’t touch you, if that’s what you want.” Of course, she wouldn’t want me to touch her. She didn’t even want to see me, and I had shown up at her house in the middle of the night. “I can sleep on the couch. I haven’t been able to sleep since you left.”

She held up her hand to stop me from rambling. “I couldn’t make you sleep on the couch in your own home.”

My heart leapt in my throat. Was she agreeing?

“Then it’s settled. We’ll sleep together. Strictly sleep, I meant.” I couldn’t help but smile as her cheeks flushed and she grinned. “Please, Emma. I need you.” I reached across the table and took her delicate hand in mine, unable to resist touching her.

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and slowly nodded. I pushed from my chair, wrapped my arms around her waist, and lifted her from the ground. Her arms tightened around my neck, and I knew, memory or not, that I needed her more than anything.

“Grab your things. I want to get you home.” I sat her back on her feet, hating that I had to let her go. She hurried down the narrow hallway and disappeared into a room. I felt like the weight of the world had lifted off my shoulders. I slowly made my way toward Emma, not wanting to leave her out of my sight for a second. She laughed to herself as I stood in the doorway.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, and she jumped as she turned to look at me. I slowly walked toward her, glancing around the room. Being alone with her in her bedroom was an overwhelming feeling.

“I’m ready.” She pulled her bag up on to her shoulder. I reached out and grabbed the strap, letting my fingers graze her shoulder. The look in her eyes let me know she was feeling it too.

“I’ll carry this for you.” I pulled the bag from her and held out my free hand. She hesitated but slipped her fingers in mine.

I fought the urge to push her down on the bed and show her how much I needed her. Emma was timid by nature, and I couldn’t begin to understand how I had ever taken her on to the third floor or how she looked at me now with trust and not fear.