CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Damian's life was a mess. He needed fatherly advice and for the first time, he couldn't go to his own dad because his whole family was so thrilled about the baby being Carter's, they couldn't see past it to the deeper issues driving Damian insane. There was only one man Damian could trust with his emotions and that was the same man he'd entrusted with his career right from the beginning.

He strode into the rehab facility, an expensive establishment that Damian felt certain Yank must hate. The older man would despise feeling useless, needing help getting around, relying on other people. Man, Damian could relate.

At a large window, he asked where to find Yank Morgan's room and followed the instructions until he walked off the elevator on Yank's floor, then followed the arrows to his room. As usual, when it came to Yank, Damian was surprised by what greeted him there.

A yellow warning ribbon, reminiscent of police tape,had been wrapped across his door, blocking the entrance. A large sign had been taped to the door, which read Enter at Your Own Risk, Nasty PITA Inside.

Damian howled with laughter at the blatant description of Yank as a Pain In The Ass.

"Who's out there?" Yank called from inside his room.

Damian ducked beneath the tape and joined Yank by the chair in which he sat "What'd you do to piss off the nurses?" Damian asked, still chuckling. "Hell, don't you know if you're sweet to these ladies they'll be sneaking you extra dessert?" He pulled up a seat, straddling it backward as he made himself comfortable.

"It's not their attention I want" Yank muttered.

Damian nodded in understanding. So Lola had bailed on him. "Why don't you just ask her to come see you?"

Yank shot him a scowl and pulled the blanket covering his legs up higher over his Burberry pajamas. Obviously his nieces had been spoiling him even if the nurses here hadn't been.

"She wants me to grovel. I love you, Lola. I'm sorry, Lola," Yank said in a pretty damn good imitation of the woman.

Damian did his best not to laugh. "I don't see your pride taking good care of you right now, so why not go ahead and do what she wants? At least then you'll both be happy."

"For how long? How happy is she gonna be cutting my food when I can't see?"

Damian exhaled aloud. He understood now how frustrated Micki, Sophie and Annabelle must feel around the older man. "Why don't you let her make that decision?" Even as he asked, Damian knew the answer. "You're afraid after all these years, she'll turn you down. That's it, isn't it?"

Damian found himself staring into blue eyes similar to Micki's. Yank gave him a quick nod, then averted his gaze, obviously embarrassed.

"You can't end up any worse off man you are now, right?"

He waved a dismissive hand. "I'm tired of talking about me. What's going on with you?"

Damian knew that was the end of discussing Yank's personal life. He'd come here for fatherly advice and now was the time to spill. He glanced down at the floor, unsure of where to begin. "Since the time I was a kid, my whole life has centered around baseball. I've seen the end coming for a while now but I refused to admit it. I ignored all the signs. But rehab's not working, cortisone shots aren't helping the hand, and the team doesn't need me hanging on for selfish reasons when they could use another player on the roster."

Yank placed a hand on Damian's shoulder. "So what are you sayin'?"

"I met with Coach and told him I think I'm through. The doctors can't promise a return this season." The words were as painful now as they had been a few days ago.

“I’m proud of you for makin' the decision. If you're ready, I'll get working on the details of retirement and the contract issues."

Damian nodded. "What about the endorsements I already do?"

"I'll take care of everything. Don't you worry, okay?'

"Yeah. Thanks." He glanced up. "What the hell am I going to do now?"

Yank gestured around the room. "Come join me for a daily card game?"

"No thanks," Damian said wryly.

"You do realize we're alike, you and I."

Damian cocked his head to one side. "Other than a bum body that doesn't want to do what we tell it to do, how so?"

"Have you spoken to Micki lately?"

Damian's nerve endings went on instant alert "She's not taking my calls at the moment. Since issuing that press release, she's declared our business relationship over and reassigned me. Apparently Annabelle's working part-time now and technically she's more familiar with the workings of the Renegades," he said, quoting Micki's secretary who'd been quoting her boss.

She'd handed him over to her sister like yesterday's news and if he thought ending his active career was painful, Micki's withdrawal hurt just as badly.

Yank glanced at him, tapping a finger against his bearded cheek. "My Micki did that?"

"She did,"

"What'd you do?" Yank asked, suddenly angry and defensive.

Damian held up both hands. "I didn't do a damn thing. She just suddenly decided to treat me like dirt."

"Same thing Lola did to me. I told you we were alike."

His head hurt trying to keep up with Yank's way of thinking. "I'm lost."

"Okay let me spell it out for you. I lost Lola because first I was scared and then I was a jackass and now it's too late. Are you gonna risk losing the woman you love the same way I did?" Yank asked.

Love, Damian thought, dazed. "Is that what this is all about?" he asked, but even as he wondered aloud, he knew.

He loved Micki.

Even Carter had tried to tell him.

Suddenly all the recent disappointment and confusion made sense. The parties and women that had once defined his life no longer held appeal and when Micki had suggested he return to his old ways, he'd been repelled by the notion. Because he'd rather be with her.

"Looks to me like you didn't recognize a good thing when it was starin' you in the face " Yank said.

"Just like you."

Yank nodded. "So are you gonna wait till you can no longer see her looking back at you?"

Damian shivered at Yank's words. The thought of a life without Micki in it at all wasn't one he wanted to contemplate. Bad enough he was losing baseball. He refused to lose her, too.

He glanced at the older man he'd always admired. “Tell you what. I'll go after Micki if you swallow your damn pride and tell Lola what she wants to hear. It's not like you don't have the feelings for her, so get over yourself and let her know," Damian taunted. He had no choice but to push and prod his agent or else they could both lose.

"You're telling me my niece's happiness depends on whether I'm finally willing to pony up with Lola?"

Damian folded his arms across his chest. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

Not that he intended to stay away from Micki if Yank got stubborn, but it was a good threat and a decent negotiating point. The older man deserved his own share of happiness even if he was, as his nieces believed, too pigheaded to admit it.

Yank blew out a frustrated puff of air. "I've been alone a long time."

"And you hate it," Damian reminded him.

Yank shook his head. "Yeah, I do"

"So?" Damian asked the one-word question, then lapsed into silence.

He wanted to give Yank time to think. Would the other man finally see how much he needed Lola? Would he put his happiness and hers before his pride? From what Damian understood, it was a battle Micki and her sisters had been righting for a long time. Yank and Lola together was a gift Damian would love to be able to bring to Micki.

"I don't even know if she wants me anymore. For all I know, she'll get me to open an artery just so she can wipe the floor with my blood."

Damian winced. "Nice analogy but some how I don't think the woman's that cruel"

Yank snorted. "That's what you think"

"I'm still waiting for an answer," Damian prompted and tapped his foot against the linoleum hospital floor for good measure.

"Okay, okay " Yank said at last. "I'll go for it if you will"

A rush of adrenaline spiked through Damian's veins. “I don't know if Micki wants me either" he admitted, scared spitless at the possibility of her turning him down.

Yank shook his head. "Neither of us has any way of knowing how things'll turn out in the end. It's a big gamble."

"It'll be okay," Damian said with little conviction, though he hoped it was true.

Yank groaned. "Life's a bitch, huh? Especially for two men used to getting their own way."

Damian nodded and rose to his feet. If he had anything to say about it, that particular tradition would continue.

MICKI HAD TO BE at a photo shoot for one of her clients at 4:00 p.m. but until then, her schedule was free. Because Noodle had slept at Sophie's for the past two nights, Micki took pity on her sister and brought the dog along with her for a walk through Central Park.

The sun shone overhead and she let the heat warm her arms as she strode along the path. Joggers passed her and people sat on the grass, reading on the lawn. It was a perfect New York City day. She finally came to her favorite spot, a place she and her sisters often came to together for an escape from the office and stress.

She unhooked Noodle from her leash and let the dog run free, hoping that the exercise would calm her for the night ahead. Thank goodness Uncle Yank would soon be out of rehab and back in his own apartment with his spoiled dog.

She popped open a can of Dr. Brown's Cream Soda she'd brought with her and watched the dumb dog try to make friends with people only to run to the next person when they tried to pet her.

"Mind if I join you?" a familiar voice asked.

She glanced up, shading her eyes from the sun with her hand. She would swear her heart stopped beating when she saw Damian towering over her, looking delicious in his light blue shirt and dark jeans.

She patted the ground beside her. "How'd you find me?" she asked, surprised because nobody except her sisters knew about this spot. "Don't tell me. Sophie snitched," Micki muttered.

Damian remained tellingly silent.

"Well?"

"You said not to tell you." He grinned, making her forget about being angry at her sister.

"Okay then what brings you by?"

"Now that's a loaded question."

Between his serious tone and expression, Micki's stomach churned with pure agitation. She wondered what he wanted to say but first she glanced aside to make sure Noodle was still in calling distance.

When she saw the dog was hanging out with someone's leashed pet, she turned her attention back to Damian. "What's going on?"

"In the time we've spent together since the island, you've gotten to know me pretty well, wouldn't you say?*'

"I suppose."

"I think you have. I think you know me better than anyone else in my life, short of my family, and that's because they don't give up when they want answers." As always, his eyes sparkled with warmth and humor when he spoke of them. "But you know me in a different way."

"What do you mean?" She swallowed hard, unsure of where he was going with this.

"It's a gut feeling kind of thing. You seem to sense when I need space and you sense when I could use company. You understand the career thing and you don't put pressure on me one way or another."

Without warning, laughter bubbled up from inside her. "I came to your apartment and told you it was time to grow up. You don't call that putting pressure on you?” she asked in disbelief.

The corners of his mouth lifted in an endearing, sexy grin. "See that's another thing. When you read me the riot act, it doesn't sound like my family telling me what to do or your uncle guiding my career."

She glanced down at her sneakered feet. "What's it sound like?"

"It sounds like you telling me what I know deep down inside except I need to hear it out loud from someone I trust. And that someone is you." He reached out and lifted her chin so their gazes met and she couldn't avoid him or their conversation.

This was getting very personal and intimate. She wiped her damp palms beside her on the grass, suddenly nervous and frightened.

Since her parents had died and Micki had fallen into the habit of relying on Annabelle and Uncle Yank to bolster her emotionally, she was seldom scared. She rarely found a situation she wasn't ready to meet head-on. Damian presented that rare emotional challenge and, like when she'd come to Sophie for tips on how to be more of a girl, Micki again found herself at a loss.

"I'm not surprised we connected that way. I have a knack for understanding the athlete's psyche" She deliberately depersonalized what they shared, unwilling to put her heart on the line.

"Don't," he barked out, startling her and she jumped. "Don't put up the one of the guys front and definitely don't try and tell me that what's between us is no different than what you share with your other clients." His eyes flashed with anger and obvious hurt.

Micki sought for a way to explain when Noodle bounded toward them and landed squarely in Damian's lap. "She must have heard you yell," Micki said.

Damian clenched his jaw, his frustration with Micki unmatched by anything he'd ever felt before as blood pounded inside his head. "I didn't yell," he said in a tense but calmer tone.

"You raised your voice and the dog heard."

"And I didn't come here to talk about the dog or to let you use her as a buffer or an excuse to avoid a serious conversation."

She lifted her chin a notch. "Okay then, no more beating around the bush. What did you come here to say?"

This was the Micki he knew, the one who refused to run from a confrontation or discussion. The one who'd stood by him even when he'd known how difficult that must have been.

He covered her hand with his, running his fingers over her smooth skin and gathering his courage at the same time. "I've never said this to anyone before," he said, speaking as quickly as the thoughts came to mind. "I've never even thought it about anyone before."

He glanced up to see her watching him. Her blue eyes were wide and clear, her fear as palpable as his own.

Well, Damian thought, at least they were in this together. "I love you, Micki Jordan."

She just stared at him for a moment and then murmured barely above a whisper, "I love you, too." She blinked and a tear fell. "But…”

With that one little word, his stomach cramped like crazy. "But what?"

"You're coming off a situation you can't even begin to have dealt with and when you do, you have a life waiting. A life by your own admission that you love. You don't want to be tied down. You don't need a woman who wants more from you than you're capable of giving. And I'm not going to put myself through the hell of letting you go twice." She jumped up from her cross-legged position and stood, unraveling Noodle's leash.

That she'd just up and leave panicked him because she seemed so serious, he didn't know if he'd ever get her back. "My own words coming back to bite me," he muttered. "I've changed. The situation with the baby? It made me reevaluate what I want out of life. What I want beyond baseball. I want you."

"You got used to having me around," she countered. "Big difference" She bent down and hooked the dog's leash to his collar, giving Damian a clear view down her shirt to her softly rounded cleavage.

His groin hardened at the sight. Micki tempted him like no other woman ever had and for the first time in his life he knew even forever wouldn't be enough time to spend with her. Or inside her.

Once she pulled the dog to her side, he rose beside her. "Don't you think I know the difference?"

"In time you will. Right now you're confused and I don't want to have invested more of myself only to have you finally come to see I was right." She scooped the dog into her arms where he happily settled in. "You don't need me anymore, so just go back to living your life. Enjoy your freedom. You got lucky, now act like it." She trembled, giving him hope that this mindset would change once she believed his words. Believed in him.

Maybe it was just too fast, Damian thought. Maybe she needed time. "Before you go, want to know what I felt when I discovered the baby wasn't mine? Once the reality set in?"

“What?" she whispered.

“Disappointed." Of course he'd had to have the reasons spelled out for him, but damned if he wasn't one hundred percent certain they made perfect sense.

Micki blinked. "You wanted Carole's baby to be yours?" she asked in disbelief.

He stepped closer. "I wanted a baby to be mine. I want your baby."

She opened her mouth, then closed it again, obviously at a loss for words.

But he wasn't. He still had plenty more to say. "So don't tell me I don't need you anymore. I do. But I've figured out where your head is at. You're not used to being needed in a non-professional way and that scares you."

"Meaning?" She squeezed the dog closer to her chest and she yelped. Micki loosened her grip.

“Birth order. We're both the spoiled youngest children. You're so used to being taken care of, you don't know how to handle us now. And I'm not a shrink but I'd guess there's something going on with you being one of the guys. It's always been an easy excuse for you to hide from being yourself.”

She shook her head. "What do you know? Like you said, you aren't a shrink."

"Well maybe I should be because I have you pegged right. If you can consider yourself one of the guys, you have a perfect excuse if a relationship fails." He drew a deep breath, realizing how much was on the line right now and how easily he could blow things. "We won't fail, Micki. Unless you don't ever give us a try."

The sun beat down overhead, his heart hammered inside his chest and he broke into a sweat waiting for her to reply.

"It's yourself you need to know better," she tossed back. "As soon as you get over the letdown of building yourself up to be a father, you'll realize how lucky you are to be free. And you'll thank me for not throwing myself into your arms now." Tears flowed profusely down her face and she made no attempt to wipe them away.

He shoved his hands into his front jeans pockets because that was the only way he wouldn't reach out for her. "You're dead wrong. I've already looked inside myself and come to terms with my future, so if anyone needs to get to know themselves better, it's you." He started to walk away, then turned back to face her. "And by the way, I won't be thanking you for this anytime soon."

As defeat and loss settled on Damian's shoulders, he wondered if Yank would fare any better with Lola.

ONE WEEK LATER, Damian realized he'd been had. Yank had come home from rehab and begun short days at work. Damian knew because together they were planning his retirement announcement and future plans, but the older man had avoided any talk about his personal life at all.

Damian banged on Yank's office door and walked inside. "You screwed me, old man."

Yank scowled, looking completely affronted by the accusation. "I did no such thing."

Damian cocked his head to one side. "Are you telling me that you did lay your heart on the line for Lola?"

He glanced down. "Not yet."

"Mind telling me what you're waiting for? Because misery loves company and since Micki turned me down, I figure it's your turn. After all, we had a deal."

Yank coughed and looked away. "Did I tell you how good it is to be home?"

Rolling his eyes, Damian sat himself in the chair across from Yank's desk. "You're not overdoing it, are you?". He shook his head. "The girls wouldn't let me."

"How about Lola?"

Yank groaned. "You aren't going to give this up, are you?"

"Nope."

"Micki's a stubborn one," Yank said. "Just like Lola."

"No kidding” Damian couldn't believe he'd bared his soul to the woman he loved and despite her claim that she felt the same way, she'd rejected him anyway. He'd barely slept since that day in the park. "I suppose I deserved the kick in the ass though. I mean all those years of being so arrogant with women. It was my way or no way. Sleep with me, no strings attached and be grateful or take a hike. It never mattered to me." He rose and strode to the window overlooking the city.

"It matters to you now," Yank said, stating the obvious.

Damian nodded. "With retirement looming, what I want out of life seems more important than ever." Every time he said the word retirement, dizziness assaulted him, but he had to admit, he was beginning to accept the inevitable.

"We've got some strong interest from cable and satellite stations in having you as commentator. I think I can get them into a bidding war with GMA."

Damian inhaled deeply, then slowly exhaled. "Funny thing is, I' m not as worried as I thought I'd be about that part of things. I trust you and I have enough faith in. my ability to pull something off. Anything to keep myself busy," he said and forced a laugh. "It's not the professional stuff that's getting to me. It's the personal."

Suddenly Yank rose and slowly came up beside him, leaning heavily on his walker as he moved.

"I didn't realize you were walking so well," Damian said.

"If I wanted to get out of that hellhole, I had to work for it."

Damian nodded.

"Micki was always the lost one," Yank said, the topic of conversation catching Damian off guard.

But now that the older man had opened up, Damian wanted to know more and Yank seemed more than willing to talk.

"Annabelle was the oldest and she understood if I didn't take them, social services would split 'em up. So she became the peacemaker, the one who made sure her sisters behaved, not that they ever did," he said, chuckling at the memory. "But she took it on her little shoulders to try. She was serious and the little mother, following behind Lola and making sure everything was just so."

Damian smiled at the vision.

"Then there was Sophie. She was always hardest to figure out. She'd escape reality with her nose in a book all the time. In some ways it made her the easiest because she had all the answers even before I knew there were questions."

"And Micki?" Damian asked..

A smile curved the man's mouth into a smile. "Always had a soft spot for her 'cause she told it like it was and was never afraid of my bluster. She walked up to me that first day and called me a pig. Then she told me to call her Micki instead of Michelle. Didn't sit well with her sisters, that much I can tell you."

Damian met Yank's gaze. "I didn't realize her name was Michelle," he said, surprised.

"I don't believe anyone has called her that since the day I took the girls in. She just looked me in the eye and became my little Micki. But she missed out on the girlie stuff her sisters enjoyed and they never thought to include her since she seemed to like sports so much more."

With a groan, Damian leaned against the window-sill, exhausted from no sleep and overwhelmed with the desire to understand what he could do to fix things between himself and Micki. Assuming there was something left to fix.

"So she considered herself one of the guys?"

"And I never did anything to discourage it."

"I'm sure the guys she's dated have dispelled that notion " he said, his gut cramping at the thought of another man's hands anywhere on Micki's body, never mind another man actually making love to her. He knew he wasn't the first but he damn well wanted to be the last.

"Not too many guys that I know of. A jackass or two wanted an in with me. Another couple she dated but if you ask me they were pansies, not worthy of my niece." Yank shook his head. "I shouldn't be telling you any of this. It feels like I'm betraying her."

Damian laid a hand on the other man's shoulder. "You're giving me insight that might help. I'd slit my throat before I'd use it against her," he promised.

Yank nodded, seemingly satisfied. "End result is she's confident in business and one hell of an athlete, but her self-esteem in the female department leaves something to be desired. It wasn't till just recently that she started to make an effort to look more… womanly. Even a blind man like me could see she was tryin' hard."

"She never had to try with me. I knew from the first time we ki-I mean from the first time we met, that she was special," he said, watching his words this time. He opted for specialover hot number since Damian didn't need Yank coming after him with his walker.

"I knew that. She saw the real you, too. She knew you were more than the idiot ladies' man you pretended to be." Yank ran a hand over his straggly beard. "But if I know my Micki, she's only thinking about the kind of women you spent time with before her and she thinks she can't compete."

"She can't," Damian said, slamming his good hand against the window.

"Watch it, wise guy. You bust the other hand and nobody's gonna help you wipe your-"

"I get the picture." Damian cut the older-man off, suppressing a laugh. "But I'm serious. Micki can't compete against those women because she's head and shoulders above them."

Yank pulled him into a hug with one arm, hanging on to the walker with the other hand. "Good luck convincing her of that," Yank said. "Because the one thing Micki learned from me beside sports is stubbornness and once that girl makes up her mind, changing it is some kind of difficult."

Damian glanced heavenward. "Thank you for that advice," he said, sarcastically.

Yank grinned. "My pleasure. Oh and if it makes you feel any better, I didn't screw you. I just wanted to be livin' on my own again before I asked Lola to accept me and my problems back into her life."

Damian could respect and understand the man's position. "I hope you make out better than I did."

"You got a game plan for the future?" Yank asked him.

Damian spread his hands wide before him. "Completely open and in Micki's hands." Too bad she wasn't returning calls or e-mails, not even in the guise of business.

Micki found it too easy to ignore his overtures so Damian was now using the silent treatment. If she didn't mind being ignored, he was out of options and heading back to the island.

Alone this time.


CHAPTER SEVENTEEN


YANK-HATED THE WALKER. He hated not being able to see everything clearly. But he hated being without Lola more. Maybe he'd had to be kicked in the butt a ridiculous number of times and let decades go by before he was ready to see what was in front of him all along. "But dammit I'm seeing it now!"

"Excuse me, sir?" The new security guard who rode the elevator in the Atkins building asked.

"Nothin'. Seventh floor, please" Yank said to the man.

He'd been out of rehab for over a week and now that he was managing to get along, thanks to his driver and walker, he was out of excuses for avoiding his fate.

A series of consecutive beeps let Yank know when he'd arrived on the right floor, as did the sound of the doors sliding open.

"We're here," the guard said.

Yank maneuvered his way out, walker first. He could make out shadows enough to see where he was going and he also knew Spencer's office space well enough to manage on his own.

"Mr. Morgan!" The receptionist at the main desk jumped up from her seat. "We weren't expecting you."

"Good. I like the element of surprise. I want to see Lola."

"She's in her office. Should I tell her you're here or do you prefer the element of surprise there, too?"

"You can tell her I'm coming to talk to her and to clear anyone else out of there."

"Yes, sir." The woman picked up the phone while Yank slowly headed to Lola's small room off Spencer's office.

He knew by the familiar perfume that she was waiting for him in the doorway. She'd used the same scent or something similar since the day they'd met. He smelled it in his dreams, Yank thought.

"I can't believe you're up and around," Lola said.

"Yeah. Time flies when you're havin' fun."

"Well you certainly used the time to get yourself healthy."

He nodded. "I didn't have anything else to do except rehab and think."

"Come on in." She stepped back so he could walk into the office.

He had no choice except to allow her to help him into a chair. He ought to get used to it, he thought and clenched his jaw.

"So what brings you by?" She lowered herself into the seat next to him.

Surrounded by her scent, a warm familiar feeling and unmistakable arousal kicked in. "You're really gonna make me spell it out for you?" he asked, annoyed she couldn't understand that this visit was his way of making a major statement.

She jumped to her feet. "I' m too busy for games so if you have nothing to say, you can leave now."

Yank groaned. "Okay, okay, cool your jets and sit down. Please," he added, afraid she wouldn't even give him a chance.

He wasn't sure but he thought she narrowed her eyes and glared at him. He certainly could sense steely anger emanating from her in waves. Didn't the woman know how hard this was?

But then how hard had he made her life all this time? He'd thought about this long and hard and he hadn't come to her empty-handed.

Yank reached into his pocket and wrapped his hand around a jewelry box. He'd gone shopping alone, not wanting to involve the girls. He hadn't wanted to get their hopes up nor had he wanted to face their pity if Lola turned him down.

Lola slowly eased herself into a seat again, watching Yank warily. She'd known him too long to jump to any conclusions. Just because she'd given him an ultimatum again didn't mean he'd come around. After all, she'd tried once before and she was still working with Spencer and not Yank.

Suddenly he pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket.A jewelry box if she wasn't mistaken, and she began to shake. Her palms grew damp. And despite the evidence in front of her, she still refused to believe. Who knew what was inside? He could have bought her a necklace or something.

"Well aren't you going to take it?" Yank asked.

She accepted the box. Hands shaking, she turned it over and over again, almost afraid to open it. "It's got teeth marks," she said, recognizing the inane comment.

"I don't think the girls fed the dog too well while I was in rehab. She's picked up some awful habits I'm gonna have to break."

Lola laughed and ever so slowly opened the box. Inside was a huge pink sapphire stone set in white gold and surrounded by diamonds.

She sucked in a startled gasp. "It's… It's…" For the first time in her life words failed her.

"It's five karats and each diamond is pretty damn big. I can't remember the size. But I can get bigger. Or green if you'd prefer an emerald. Or one large diamond. We can do that, too. Whatever you like, the jeweler said he'd get it for you," Yank said, rambling.

Also a first, Lola thought. Tears streamed down her cheeks and Yank reached out and wiped her face with his hand. "How'd you know I was crying?" she asked, knowing he couldn't possibly see her tears.

"Because after all these years, I know you," he said in a gruff voice filled with more emotion than she'd ever heard from him before.

Lola swallowed hard. "So is this a friendship ring?" she joked for lack of knowing what else to say.

Yank had never been an eloquent speaker, and now he'd handed her a box with the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen inside. Yet he hadn't explained its significance. Just like the man, she thought with exasperation, the tears still flowing.

"Well here's the thing. I'm no bargain. I'm getting closer to being legally blind. I've got a bum hip and use a walker, though it'll soon be a cane."

She leaned forward, holding her breath.

"I'm grouchy on a good day and my dog craps and sleeps wherever she wants. You can blame the girls for that. I had Noodle trained."

"Somehow I doubt that," Lola said. "Now quit getting off the subject and go on."

He shook his head. "Right. Well I probably waited too damn long and I no longer look like the prize I once was-"

She snickered and he shot her a dirty look.

"And a part of me thinks you gave me this ultimatum so I'd say what you want to hear just so you can dump me on my good-for-nothing, arrogant-"

"Yank!"

"Yeah, yeah. Well I was wondering if you'd like to marry me. I'd say raise my kids but you already done that. I'd say for better but there isn't much of that these days. I can definitely offer you for worse and know you'd have that to look forward to-"

"Yes."

"What?" He blinked, obviously stunned by the one little word. "Yes what?"

"Yes, I'll marry you, you stupid fool. I'll take you half-blind and limping and obnoxious. I'll even accept your foolish dog just as long as you really want this, too," she said, unable to turn off the waterworks. She sniffed and reached for a tissue on the corner of her desk.

Yank grabbed for her hand. "I'd get down on one knee but I'd never get up again. I wasted years of our lives and I got no excuse for it. I can't believe you'd take me now."

Lola pulled him into an embrace. "Yank Morgan, you've always been mine and I've always been yours. It's just taken you longer than most to come around."

He chuckled. "What can I say? I'm special."

"That you are," she whispered. And she intended to spend the rest of her life making sure she took good care off him each and every day.

"You're no slouch yourself, Lola. I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I'm the luckiest man alive. Do you know how much I love you?"

She shook her head. "I don't think I do, but you can spend the rest of your life showing me."

He grinned. "You gonna put that ring on now?"

"No, you're going to do it for me." She placed the ring in his palm and held out her hand.

By sense of touch, he easily slid the ring onto her finger.

She raised her hand to admire the stone and the way the sun shining through the window highlighted all the perfect facets. "It fits!"

He chuckled. "I told you I know you."

And she knew him. He was a unique man, one who'd given up his bachelorhood and raised his three nieces. Lola had gone through periods of frustration and yet she'd never regretted devoting her life to Yank and his family. Not even after she'd decided the time had come to move on without him.

And now all of her dreams had come true.

MICKI BLEW OFF an afternoon PR function and had one of the staff pinch-hit for her, heading home to the comfort of her apartment instead. She took a hot shower and didn't even pay attention when Noodle licked the droplets of water off her legs. While using his walker, her uncle had nearly tripped over Noodle, who lacked the brains to get out of the way. So until Uncle Yank was more mobile, she'd agreed to keep the dog with her. Micki hated to admit it but Noodle was good company, especially since she was feeling lonely right now.

A few short weeks ago, Damian had offered her everything she'd dreamed of and she'd pushed him away. She'd never thought he'd actually say he loved her, but he had. Had he meant it or did he just believe it for now because she'd become his safety net? Those were the thoughts that haunted her day and night.

Along with thoughts of her own past and future. Thanks to her uncle and her sisters, Micki had always known love and security. They'd cushioned and protected her, too much at times. As a result, she was insecure when it came to trusting her instincts. Oh, she could handle herself professionally because there she'd been given free rein. But personally and emotionally, sometimes she felt ill-equipped to handle things.

Was it any wonder that at her age she'd had to turn to Sophie for advice on dressing and acting more femininely? Was it any wonder she couldn't bring herself to believe a sexy jock like Damian Fuller would really be in love with every guy's friend, Micki Jordan?

And really, those were the truths at the crux of her turning Damian away. It was easier to continue to pull back now than to take a chance with him only to have her heart broken when Damian finally realized his true feelings and walked out on her later.

She trembled and pulled the old afghan around her shoulders, cuddling up on her couch. Noodle lay at her feet, the dog's body heat warming Micki's toes from the air-conditioning blowing around her.

Tears fell freely and she wiped them with the knitted blanket, ignoring the knocking at the door, waiting for the person to go away. She shut her eyes, only to hear the rattling of a key chain and see the door open wide.

"Micki?" Sophie walked inside and slammed the door behind her. "As soon as I heard you bailed on your afternoon appointment, I knew something was wrong. What's going on?" Her sister walked over to the couch and knelt by Micki's side.

She didn't feel like talking about it so she remained silent.

"It's Damian, isn't it?' Sophie asked. "You've refused to talk about him ever since the day I sent him to find you in the park."

"It's Damian," she said, agreeing to the obvious.

Her sister nudged her in the side. "Come on, Mick. You're not going to feel better if you don't open up and talk about it."

Micki eyed Sophie knowingly. "You mean you're not going to feel better until I talk about it." Resigned, she pushed herself up against the armrest and faced her sister.

Sophie slid into the empty space on the sofa. "Same thing."

Even now, the words wouldn't come any easier. "Damian wanted to talk about us." She laid her chin on her bent knees and met Sophie's gaze. "He said he loves me.”

Her sister's eyes opened wide. "That's wonderful! It's everything you dreamed of! So why have you been moping around like you lost your best friend?" Sophie leaned back and really looked at Micki for the first time. "And why are you crying now? I'm really confused. You love him, too, yes?"

"Yes." Micki nodded. "But I still sent him on his way."

"I thought it was something like that, but what I don't get is why?"

"I have my reasons." Micki went on to list the excuses she'd fed Damian. Some of them, like the relief he'd feel when the reality of not being a father set in, she truly believed. Others, like him being used to having her around, she didn't buy for a minute. Because she loved him, too, and it wasn't that she'd gotten used to having him by her side. She enjoyed it. She wanted it forever. But she didn't believe it would last.

Sophie rose to her feet and planted her hands on the hips of her expensive suit jacket. "I could kill you! Who pushes away a good, kind, decent, sexy man with a bunch of bullshit excuses?"

From her tone and uncharacteristic use of foul language, Micki knew her sister's rant was just beginning and she hoped to head it off. "I guess the obvious answer is, I do. Now will you please respect my decision and leave me alone?"

"Let me ask you something."

"It's not like I have a choice, is it?"

Sophie shot her a scowl. "You came to me and asked if I'd help you make yourself over. I did. You specifically hoped to land Damian Fuller. You did. And now that you have him exactly where you want him, you push him away. I simply don't understand, so you're going to have to explain it to me." She waved her arms in a dramatic gesture that had Micki ducking to avoid being whacked in the head.

She rubbed her burning eyes and groaned. There was no way she'd get her sister to go away and leave her in peace without a long-winded talk.

"Millions of women would kill to have Damian say he loved them-" Sophie continued.

"Do you really want to know why I pushed him away?" Micki cut in. "Fine, I'll tell you. It's exactly what you said. It's because there's no way Damian Fuller wants a woman like me when he could have any woman just by snapping his ringers," she yelled, her cheeks hot at the embarrassing admission.

Sophie pulled her into a tight, sisterly hug. "Oh, Micki! You are so wrong about yourself. So wrong."

Micki's throat grew tight. "Have you seen the women he usually dates?"

"The ones like Carole with fake boobs and no morals? The ones who'd try and pass a kid off as his when she knew there was a fifty percent chance he wasn't the father? That kind of woman? Yeah, I can see why Damian would choose someone like that over you," Sophie said wryly. She grabbed Micki's hands. "He'd be lucky to have you. Why can't you see that?"

"Because I'm scared."

"Then get unscared and do it fast. Otherwise you'll make the same mistake Uncle Yank did."

Micki glanced at her sister. "It's not that easy."

"No, it isn't. But what good is your makeover if you're still the same insecure person on the inside?" Sophie shook her head. "And that's not you. You're the woman who can handle a locker room full of men with a shrill whistle. You can run a huge PR event and have everyone in the room kissing your ass. Come on! You're going to let the best thing that ever happened to you walk away because you're afraid to take a chance?"

Micki drew a deep breath and sought to explain. “I’ve never had to take a real chance before. I always had Uncle Yank and Annabelle to lean on. Lately you've had my back. With Damian it's like walking a tightrope with nobody to catch me," she said, expressing her greatest fear.

"Well then jump and trust in him," Sophie said, frustrated.

"Easy for you to say."

Sophie shrugged. "Maybe you'll get the opportunity to throw my advice back at me one day. In the meantime, you're my sister, I love you and I'd hate to see you miss an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."

Micki rubbed her bare arms and wondered if she had the faith in herself Sophie thought she should have.

Her phone rang and she picked it up. "Hello?" She listened to her uncle and then Lola and pure happiness filled her at the news.

She hung up and turned to her sister. "Uncle Yank and Lola are engaged," she said amazed.

"Wow. Hell hath officially frozen over!"

Micki laughed. "Yeah. What do you know?"

Sophie shook her head, a wide smile on her face. "I know I've just seen one miracle. Now it's time for another."

"I need time, Sophie." Tune to sort through her emotions and make sure she could handle any possibility where Damian was concerned. Time to be sure she could believe in her ability to hold on to Damian.

"Well don't take too long. Now that he's announcing his retirement, he'll have more free time on his hands than he knows what to do with. And a guy like Damian Fuller won't stay unattached forever."

DAMIAN WAITED UNTIL A DAY OFF to clean out his locker. A travel day when nobody would be around. The day after he announced his retirement to the world. With Sophie acting as his publicist, and Yank, his coach and the Renegades owners by his side, Damian had held a press conference at the stadium. The timing had been perfect. Coming right after the game when the Renegades clinched a place in the postseason, Damian Fuller announced his permanent leave from the game he loved.

The Renegades retired his number, twenty-two, which would hang on a stadium wall in honor of his career. He was proud, he was sad, and though he had a broadcasting job waiting for him beginning with the play-offs, he still felt at loose ends. A trip to the island was just what he needed to get his head back on straight, Damian thought.

Outside it rained, a torrential summer soaking that darkened the sky and matched his mood as he began pulling mementos out of his locker. From a distance, heard the familiar sound of the creaking locker-room doors Swinging open wide. Annoyance shot through him. He'd asked the equipment manager to make sure nobody bothered him so he could take me time to empty his locker in peace.

If they'd let a reporter in…He shook his head and returned to his job, removing one thing at a time,from baseballs to old jocks, to sunscreen and bubble gum that'd turned hard a long time ago. He'd collected a lot of crap, Damian thought.

"I thought I'd find you here."

"Micki?" At the sound of her voice, Damian turned around fast.

"Surprise," she said somewhat sheepishly.

"It sure is." He hadn't seen her in weeks nor had he heard from her since she'd turned him down back in Central Park.

He'd spent the past few weeks not only arranging his future but trying to put Micki in his past. Now she was here on the second most difficult day of his life and, though a part of him welcomed her, another part immediately erected barriers a mile high. No way would he let her slice his heart out again.

He leaned against the metal bank of lockers and stared. He wasn't about to make this easy for her-no matter how good she looked in a short pink skirt and tie-dyed tank under a white top that fell over her shoulders in the old Flashdance style. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair spread over her shoulders in a tangled mass of curls. She was more appealing than she had a right to be, all things considered,

"So what brings you by the locker room? Looking for a jock to represent now that you have a free slot in your schedule? You ought to know the team's on the road." He winced at his callous tone and deliberate sarcasm. Obviously he was more hurt and angry than he'd wanted to admit, even to himself.

Her eyes flashed with hurt. "That was mean."

He cleared his throat. "Yeah."

"But not entirely uncalled for." She pursed her lips in a thin line. "I came here to talk."

She piqued his curiosity. "It's not the most comfortable place but have a seat." He gestured to the wooden bench he'd spent years using to lace his shoes. She lowered herself to the bench and he joined her.

"I caught the press conference yesterday," she said. "I'm not sure what to say first. I'm sorry it happened so soon and at the same time I was really proud of the way you handled yourself with the media. I know it wasn't easy."

Her soft, approving gaze warmed his heart. "It wasn't. Want to know why I was able to do it?"

She nodded.

"Because you told me I could handle it. Just like you told me I could handle being a father. When you say it, I'm able to believe."

"I'm glad. At least I've been good for something other than ego bashing," she said wryly. She folded one leg beneath her. "Seriously, watching you was impressive. You faced the very thing you feared most You stood up to your fear of losing baseball and you answered every reporter's question without flinching.”

He shrugged. "Years of training, I guess."

"Did you hear that Uncle Yank and Lola got engaged?" she asked, an excited grin lighting up her face.

"I sure did." He didn't see any point in mentioning he and Yank had agreed to go for it at the same time. "I'm glad he hit a home run."

She laughed. "Love the baseball analogy. To me, he's an example of another person facing his fears."

Damian wasn't in a talkative mood and he had a lot on his mind. Small talk with a woman he wanted and couldn't have wasn't his idea of a good time.

He met her gaze with a serious one of his own. "Micki, what do you want from me?"

"I want to do what you and Uncle Yank did. I want to face my fears." She paused. "When you and I got together that first time, I knew the rules. I did. I admit at the time I hoped I'd be that one woman who caused you to change your mind, the one you'd fall in love with, you know? I knew it was a ridiculous wish. I mean how many women in your life thought the same thing?"

Damian didn't speak. He didn't move, he didn't breathe, afraid that somehow he'd mess up and she'd walk out and he'd never hear what else she had to say. He didn't know how this was going to end, but he didn't want to miss a second of what came before it did. Because she hadbeen the one special woman who'd changed his mind and then she'd bolted on him anyway.

Micki drew a steadying breath. "I guess I never thought my fantasy had much of a chance of becoming reality because when it did, I panicked."

"You ran."

She nodded. "Afraid to face my fears."

She was on the edge, Damian realized. She could still explain and refuse to take a chance on them or she could jump off that cliff and see if he would catch her. He needed her to believe he'd be waiting when she made the leap.

He reached out and grasped her hand, ignoring the slight pain in his wrist and focusing solely on Micki. On keeping her right here with him and convincing her that this was where she belonged.

"What exactly are you afraid of?" he asked. "Because God knows if anyone has experience in avoiding commitment and relationships and being afraid of putting himself out there, it's me."

She gave him her bravest smile. "But you have a lifetime's experience of going out there every day in front of a crowd and facing possible defeat. It may have taken a pregnancy scare to show you what you really wanted in life, but once you realized, you went after it the same way you went after your career. With your whole heart. And I broke it in return." She glanced away.

"Hey." He turned her face towards him. "Something tells me you're not finished."

She shook her head. "It's just not easy, baring your soul."

"Not easy but worth it in the end, I hope."

"This whole girlie thing." She lifted the edge of her skirt and let it flutter around her thighs. "It's all new to me. And I look at the women you dated and I look at myself and I think, how can I even hope to hang on to you?"

Listening to her gut-wrenching honesty nearly took Damian's breath away. He understood how she was raised and the influence her uncle had had upon her and yet that's what made her unique. "Honey, when I look at you, you're right, I don't see anything similar to those other women."

She tried to pull her hand away but he held on tight.

"But don't you see? That's what makes you so special. That's why I love you. That's why until you, I never once thought about spending the rest of my life with anyone I'd been with. They never captured my interest the way you do. I'd never had to worry about being distracted during a game because of anything a woman did or said to me. Then you showed up and I couldn't stop thinking about you. In the field, at bat, when I was facing the possibility of having fathered Carole's baby, all I could think about was you."

Micki swallowed hard but the lump in her throat was too large and the tears she'd been holding back began to trickle down her cheeks. As if admitting her inferiority complex wasn't embarrassing enough, now she had to turn into a crybaby.

She swiped at the tears with the back of her hand. "You're not going to get bored one day?" she asked.

He shook his head and laughed. "Not in a million years. Unfortunately you're going to have to take my word for it." He cupped his hand around her cheek. "Can you do that?"

"If you can have patience. I'm actually not used to this insecure part of me. It seems to rear its ugly head only around you."

His other hand followed the first, so he cradled her face, making her feel warm, secure and completely needed. In his gaze, she viewed a depth of feeling she'd never seen before.

"Around me you're not going to have any reason to think or feel insecure."

She bit down on her lower lip. "I was hoping you'd say that. Because I decided if you're still interested, I'm ready to go after what I want"

"And I was hoping you'd say that," he echoed with a grin.

Micki decided then and there to shed her insecurities and keep them at bay. She knew that she'd slip at times. She also knew she'd have Damian there to catch her if she fell.

She rose to her feet, straddling the bench as she stood. "I love you, Damian."

"I love you, too. But you said that before and you sent me away, so what's different this time?"

"I am. I'm ready to give not just my heart but my trust, too." She meant it but she didn't know what he wanted any longer. "You said you imagined having my baby." For weeks she'd tried not to remember those words because she'd been running from her fear.

His dark eyes raked over her in an invisible caress. Her body trembled and her nipples puckered beneath her clothes. He noticed and she saw a shudder run through him as well.

"Do you still feel that way?" she asked.

"You know I do," he said in a voice rough with desire.

"Well, I thought maybe I'd give you a present to remember this locker room by." As she spoke, she pulled her T-shirt up and over her head. Her tank came next, followed by her barely there strapless bra.

In the time it took her to blink, he'd tossed his shirt aside and pulled her against him. Her aching breasts pressed against his hair-roughened chest, sensations of warmth rushing through her. Liquid heat trickled between her legs, a welcome feeling after ignoring her desire for Damian for so long.

And then his lips came down hard on hers and Micki knew this was meant to last forever. His tongue swirled inside her mouth as she feverishly worked at the button on his jeans. Her heart pounded hard in her chest, pure joy and ecstasy bubbling inside her.

He lifted his head, staring into her eyes for a long, sweet time. "I definitely don't have protection here."

Micki swallowed hard. "I definitely don't want you to use any."

With a low growl, he stepped back long enough to unbutton and pull off his jeans himself, while she, too,undressed. He made love to her standing up, no condom. The sensation of Damian, every hard, smooth velvety ridge of him was like nothing she'd experienced before.

So real, so honest, so very very emotional, Micki thought, as her imminent climax built higher and higher, his pace ever more frenzied until he came inside her. He thrust upward one last time, taking her along with him, calling her name on a low groan that vibrated through her entire body.

"I love you," he said, his arms still wrapped tightly around her.

She smiled. "I love you, too."

He looked into her eyes and she knew she, saw his soul there. "Marry me," Damian said, his body still touching hers, their skin still damp from making love.

Micki could only nod and then she laid her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat, knowing how lucky she was.

How lucky they both were.

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