Husband By Necessity

CHAPTER TEN

SOON the news of Heather’s pregnancy had spread through the whole family, to general rejoicing. When the snow cleared Angie drove down to Palermo and was received with open arms by Heather and Baptista. The three women settled down to a pleasant afternoon together.

It was almost incredible how different everything felt on the coast. Here there was rain but no snow, the air was almost warm enough for spring, and there was even a glimmer of sunshine. But she had chosen a man from the mountains, and despite the harshness, even, it seemed, the cruelty of that life, she wasn’t ready yet to give up on her choice.

As she had cakes and coffee with Heather and Baptista she was uncomfortably conscious of the question they were both refusing to ask. They knew Bernardo had battled through atrocious weather to return to her, and they were surprised that he hadn’t come down with her now. But she had her defence mechanisms in place, carefully rehearsed to sound natural.

‘If you two could see yourselves,’ she chuckled. ‘Your ears are flapping.’

‘So tell us,’ Heather demanded, ‘then they won’t need to flap.’

‘So nothing. He came back. We had a meal together. It’s all very friendly and civilised. Now he’s away for a few days. Baptista, that cake is delicious. Can I have some more?’

‘It’s crawling with calories,’ Heather said darkly. ‘You’ll get fat-I wish.’

‘Not as fast as you will,’ Angie teased, skilfully turning the conversation back to Heather’s pregnancy.

Luckily they both accepted this and asked no more questions. Angie didn’t feel up to telling them how Bernardo had vanished while she was still ecstatic from his loving, and driven off, apparently into oblivion.

She’d had hours since then to ponder what he’d told her about the feeling of guilt that still tormented him from his childhood. Now she looked at Baptista and wondered if his foster mother really would hate him if she knew the truth. Somehow Angie couldn’t imagine it of that great and generous woman, but how would she react to the discovery that her husband had died needlessly?

Once Baptista had said, ‘I can only guess at his deepest secret, and I may be wrong.’ For a fleeting moment Angie was tempted to speak out, but then she knew she mustn’t. Bernardo had spoken to her in confidence and then regretted it so fiercely that he’d fled, rejecting her and their love with heart breaking finality. She had no right to repeat anything he’d said, even to Baptista.

After a while they were joined by a tall, white-haired man who turned out to be Federico, the ‘old friend’ from the party.

‘He’s more than that,’ Heather murmured into her ear. ‘Years and years ago he and Baptista were in love with each other. She calls him Fede. Now he comes almost every day and they sit holding hands. It’s so sweet to see them together.’

It was true, Angie thought, watching the two old people, so happy in each other’s company. They had been lovers once, and they were lovers still, although differently. Somehow Bernardo had missed the truth about them. But then, Angie reflected sadly, Bernardo wasn’t very perceptive about people.

She had a pleasant surprise with the arrival of the brothers. Renato had altered. His joy in his wife was quiet but so heartfelt, and his attitude to her so tender that Angie finally began to like him.

Lorenzo too had changed, although it was harder for her to be sure just how. He was still the merry hearted charmer that nature had made him, but he seemed to have mysteriously grown in confidence, and Angie sensed it had something to do with Renato’s happiness. Lorenzo’s love for his older brother had once been tinged with awe but now there was a subtle change in the power balance between them. Lorenzo had held the happiness of three people in his hands, and by doing the right thing he’d saved them all. Now Renato had acknowledged it and nothing would ever be the same between them again.

He greeted Angie with a brotherly kiss, as though she was already a member of the family, and, sitting down, began to tell her about the trip he was about to take to the States.

‘New York, New Orleans, Los Angeles, Chicago-spreading the Martelli word wherever I go.’

‘Yes, well, I heard you daren’t show your face in Britain again,’ Angie teased.

‘That was a misunderstanding,’ he said loftily. ‘The magistrate fined me, I paid it-’

‘And high-tailed it out of the country while the going was good.’

‘My big sister’s been opening her big mouth,’ Lorenzo said with a good natured grin at Heather.

She heard him, and returned the smile. So did Renato. They were sitting together, the picture of blissful contentment, bathed in their own happiness and the happiness they had brought to others. This was the Martelli family at its best, Angie thought, and in the same moment came the realisation that this was the family Bernardo had rejected as he had rejected her. Because something in him made it easier to reject warmth and loving kindness than to accept it. After the other night she partly understood what that ‘something’ was, and her heart ached that he wouldn’t turn to her, seeking help and consolation in her love.

As soon as it was polite to do so she left the Residenza and drove home to the mountains, which had never seemed so lonely.

Lorenzo was in the States for two months, sending back a stream of big orders and covering himself with glory. He returned in the second week of April, and one of the first things he did was to visit Angie, arriving just as she was finishing evening surgery.

‘You’re welcome to stay if you don’t mind something microwaved,’ she said.

‘Sounds fine.’

From her freezer he selected a vegetarian lasagne and she put it in the oven.

‘No wine for me,’ she said as he produced a bottle. ‘Pour me an orange juice.’ While he did so she laid the table, glad to have company. ‘I want to hear all about America,’ she said.

Instead of answering, Lorenzo grinned in a way that made Angie raise her eyebrows. ‘What’s her name?’ she demanded at once.

‘I don’t know why you women always jump to one conclusion. I spent some time with the daughter of family friends in New York. Her name’s Helen, and before you start listening for wedding bells, I’m the last man in the world she’d dream of marrying. She told me that in the first ten minutes.’

‘You proposed to her in ten minutes?’

‘She didn’t wait for a proposal. She just rushed to tell me not to bother.’

‘You don’t mean you’ve met a woman who’s immune to your charm?’

‘If you like to put it that way,’ he said, slightly piqued.

‘Well, don’t keep me in suspense. Tell me-ouch!’

A fork had fallen to the floor and jabbed her foot. Leaning down for it, she found the flagstones swimming.

‘Are you all right?’ Lorenzo asked in alarm. He rushed across the floor and took her shoulders, steadying her as he raised her.

‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she said quickly.

‘You look a bit peaky.’

‘It’s been a long, hard day. I didn’t have time for lunch, and that’s fatal.’

‘Well, you sit there and I’ll finish. Even I can cook with a microwave.’

He was as good as his word, serving her with a comical flourish that made her laugh.

‘If you were hoping to see Bernardo, he still isn’t here,’ she said as they were eating.

‘I know. Mamma told me he was still off somewhere. It’s you I came to see. How are you managing?’

‘Better than anyone expected.’

‘You mean better than he expected.’

‘Yes, I suppose so.’ She gave a brittle laugh. ‘I keep wishing he’d come back so that I can say, “I told you so”.’

‘He used to do this a lot when we were boys, you know. It’s not enough for him to live in the same world as the rest of us. He has to have another one, all his own, where he makes the rules and nobody else is invited. And sometimes he has to vanish into it. But it’s hard on you. What’s the point of your coming here to be with him, if he isn’t here?’

‘I didn’t come here to be with him,’ Angie said stonily. ‘I came to teach him a lesson.’ Her voice broke. ‘I seem to have rather overdone it.’

‘Don’t say that.’ Lorenzo took both of her hands in his, and his voice was kind. ‘It isn’t your fault. My brother’s a fool. Well, we all are, but Bernardo’s a different kind of fool. Renato schemes and connives, and sometimes he makes a mess of things by being too clever for his own good. Me, I’m just a plain, straightforward idiot. But Bernardo’s thoughts are all dark and tangled up so that he can’t see what’s staring him in the face.’

There was such kindness in his eyes that she thought wistfully how different things might have been. How nice it would be to have Lorenzo as a brother! The temptation to confide in him was overwhelming. She might have yielded to it if the doorbell hadn’t rung. A moment later Ginetta ushered a sharp-faced young man into the room.

‘Not you again!’ Angie said, with a loathing that made Lorenzo stare at her.

The man was in his late twenties with lean features and a supercilious stare. His manner suggested a barely suppressed impatience. Angie introduced him as Carlo Bondini, but she did so briefly and without warmth, adding, ‘Signor Bondini, I asked you not to bother me again.’

‘I merely thought you might have changed your mind, on reflection.’

‘Well, I haven’t.’

‘I can increase my offer by another ten million lire. It’s a very good offer.’

‘It would be an excellent offer if I wanted to sell, but I don’t. Why can’t you take no for an answer?’

‘Because this is exactly the kind of practice I’m looking for.’

‘Then please keep looking and find another one. And don’t come back.’

‘Oh, I’ll be back.’

‘No, you’ve been told not to,’ Lorenzo said with deceptive affability. ‘But you never could take a hint. I’ve just remembered you. We were at school together. I didn’t like you then, either. Get going and keep going.’

Bondini looked as if he might dispute the point, but he wasn’t built for heroics against a man of Lorenzo’s size, and he wisely decided to let the matter drop.

‘We’ll leave it there for the moment,’ he said with a shrug. ‘But don’t reject my offer without careful thought.’ His eyes on Angie were like gimlets. ‘You don’t have that much time, after all. I’m a doctor, too, remember, and I have eyes-signorina.’

He made the last word an insult. Then he was gone.

‘Does he pester you often?’ Lorenzo exploded.

‘He turns up every two weeks with an improved offer.’

‘But why? What’s so marvellous about this-? I mean-’

‘Did you really know him at school?’

‘Yes. I used to get him to do my homework for me,’ Lorenzo confessed with a grin that wasn’t in the least ashamed.

‘I thought you didn’t like him.’

‘The transaction was purely commercial. I wonder where he’s suddenly getting money from.’

‘Can’t you guess?’ Angie asked with a sigh. ‘Bernardo, of course. He’s trying to buy me out.’

‘But you can’t-I mean-not now-not if I understood him correctly-’

‘I expect you did,’ Angie said with a wan smile.

‘That settles it,’ Lorenzo said with sudden resolution. ‘Now it’s a family matter.’

The farmhouse stood at the end of a dirt track, most of which was hidden by trees. It had been abandoned long ago, although the building had been roughly patched up to make it habitable if not comfortable.

Bernardo saw his brother coming from a distance and was waiting by the door, his face dark and unwelcoming. ‘How the devil did you find this place?’

‘I’ve always known about it,’ Lorenzo told him. ‘You used to slip away up here when we were boys, and once I followed you. You never knew.’

‘If I had I’d have found somewhere else.’

‘I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I knew your odd ways. We all did.’

Bernardo reluctantly stood aside to let him enter. ‘Is it odd to want a little privacy?’

‘Not privacy. Isolation. Maria vergine! How do you live in this place?’

‘Very well when I’m left alone.’

‘Look I don’t know what went wrong between you and Angie, but I’m willing to bet it was your fault. You’ve got a beautiful, brilliant woman in love with you, so of course you weren’t happy until you’d rejected her, the way you’ve rejected us all for years. But I’m still your brother and I’m not going to let you screw up the best thing that ever happened to you.’

Bernardo didn’t answer, only stared at him with bleak, anguished eyes.

Lorenzo said more gently, ‘The world won’t go away, Bernardo. It’s out there and it’s full of unpleasant people, like Carlo Bondini.’

‘What do you know about him?’ Bernardo demanded sharply.

‘I saw his last visit, and I came to tell you to get him off Angie’s back. He’s trying to bully her.’

Bernardo swore. ‘I told him to offer for the practice. I never meant him to upset her.’

‘You should choose your instruments more carefully. If you ever let your brothers past the guarded gates I could have told you he’s a nasty piece of work.’

‘I can do without your advice,’ Bernardo said coldly. ‘Ever since Renato acknowledged a debt to you you’ve become damned insufferable.’

‘I was always insufferable,’ Lorenzo remarked with perfect truth. ‘But that’s not the point. Things have changed. Something’s going on. I’m not sure what. I have my suspicions but I’m not a doctor-unlike Bondini, as he was careful to point out.’

‘What are you saying?’ Bernardo asked slowly.

‘I’m saying that if you’re going to add to the family, it’s about time you started being a member of it.’

The way back was like driving through a tunnel of blossoms. The most fertile land on earth was flaunting its lush beauty in the sun, and everywhere Bernardo looked there was harmony that seemed to invite him on.

Until he saw the path ahead.

By stepping on the accelerator he was there in a couple of seconds, too fast for the crowd of young men to disperse from where they had been surrounding the woman on the mule. They were all smiling but in a way that suggested menace, and one was holding the mule’s bridle. At the sound of Bernardo’s car they looked up in alarm, and scattered.

He didn’t bother pursuing. He saw only the woman and the thunderstruck look she was giving him.

‘So you came back?’ Angie said distantly. ‘I suppose I should thank you for getting rid of them. Well, thank you. But now I’d like to go.’

‘What are you doing in this place?’

‘Visiting my patients.’

‘On your own? Are you mad?’

‘I never had trouble before.’

‘So why suddenly now?’

Her face set against him. ‘How should I know?’

‘I think you do.’

‘And I think I’d like you to just fade away and let me get on. I have two more people to see.’

‘Then get into my car.’

‘And what about Jason?’

‘Who?’

‘Antonio needs Nesta on the farm now, so I bought my own mule. We can’t put him in the car.’

‘He can walk behind. Please get in.’ He reached up to grasp her wrist, but was almost blown back by the freezing look in her eyes.

‘Take your hands off me at once, Bernardo, and never dare to do that again.’

‘You can’t go on alone,’ he said emphatically.

‘Then you can drive behind me. But please stay where I don’t have to look at you.’

He had no choice but to do it her way. Moving at her pace he had time to notice the interest she aroused, the workers who stopped in the fields to watch her pass, but without the friendly greetings they would once have given her. There was something eerie about their silent curiosity.

In the first house she went to it was much the same. Her patient was a very old woman, desperately ill and moving towards the end of her life. Thanks to Angie she was doing so peacefully and mostly without pain. Her family were grateful and showed it by treating the doctor with courtesy, but their manner was shadowed by reserve. Bernardo’s appearance evidently surprised them, making them nudge each other and exchange significant looks.

The second visit was to a young couple where the wife was having a difficult pregnancy. They were worried because their first child had been born with a facial deformity. Bernardo had seen the little girl once, for her parents kept her hidden and at six years old she was very shy. But she ran out as soon as Angie arrived, bouncing with excitement and evidently considering her a friend.

When Angie was packing her bag a strange thing happened. The wife suddenly threw her arms about her and gave her a big hug. Then she drew back and smiled into her face.

‘Amicu,’ she said. Friend.

There was a touch of defiance in her manner, as though she felt the need to declare her friendship before a critical world.

‘Where have you left your car?’ Bernardo asked as they left the house.

‘It’s at home. For trips like this I take Jason all the way. Benito stables him for me with his own mules.’

‘And what about the danger?’

‘There’s never been any danger.’

‘Don’t tell me those lads weren’t threatening you.’

‘Not openly, but they weren’t being nice.’

‘Right. I’m coming home with you, and we have to talk.’

‘I don’t think so.’

He ground his teeth. ‘Have supper with me.’

‘No, thank you.’

‘Then I’ll come to you.’

‘I haven’t invited you to supper. Good day to you, signore.’

She hopped nimbly onto Jason’s back and trotted away. Bernardo cursed but he didn’t make the mistake of following her.

Two patients to go, she thought as she neared the end of evening surgery. Her back was aching and she was tired after the heavy day. Not long now, then she could put her feet up.

But when she looked out into the waiting room she found another presence. Bernardo glanced up and met her eyes, his own challenging, telling her she couldn’t avoid him.

At last she waved off the last patient and locked her door, knowing that she couldn’t avoid this confrontation any longer. She would have liked to put it off because she didn’t know what she was going to say to him. When he’d appeared out of nowhere that afternoon her heart had leapt unreasonably. But she’d controlled her momentary joy, telling herself it meant nothing. She was simply relieved that he’d come to rescue her. Apart from that, she was hollow inside. That was what she tried to believe.

And now here he was, looking so exactly as she’d pictured him that it was as though her anguished dreams had come to life. For two months she’d battled against despair, one moment hardening her heart against him, the next moment telling herself not to become hard because she couldn’t afford to.

There were the nights when she’d cried herself to sleep, and the nights when she’d slept like a stone from the moment her head touched the pillow, because she’d worked herself into the ground. But no matter how long or how deeply she slept she always awoke feeling as though she’d been dredged up from the bottom of a deep pit. She grew so used to waking up feeling bad that at first she missed the signs that matters had changed irrevocably.

It was almost comical, she thought without amusement. She, a doctor, to be caught so easily. Seduced and abandoned like some idiotic Victorian maiden without knowledge or common sense.

And now he was here, and she didn’t know what she wanted to say to him.

‘Are you all right?’ he asked quietly.

‘Yes, everything’s fine with me. Can I offer you some coffee?’ She went into the kitchen without waiting for his answer. ‘And something to eat?’ She was looking in her freezer.

‘No, thank you.’

‘It’s no trouble.’ She was still rummaging, not looking at him.

‘Will you leave that for a moment and talk to me?’ he demanded.

‘Talking to you is dangerous, Bernardo. We talked two months ago, remember?’

He drew a sharp breath. ‘I went because I couldn’t bear to stay.’

‘Thank you!’

‘You don’t understand-perhaps I was wrong to go, but it seemed the best for both of us.’

‘And so you sent Bondini to buy me out.’

‘Lorenzo told me how he behaved. I never meant him to bully you. I’ve seen him since and made him sorry. He won’t be back.’

He waited for her to answer but she was busy with supper.

‘Lorenzo told me something else too,’ he said at last.

‘Lorenzo seems to have been busy.’

‘He’s my-my brother. He cares about us.’

‘Yes,’ she said in a softened voice. ‘He came to see how I was, and then he got word to you. He’s a kind man.’ She glanced up suddenly, taking him by surprise. ‘Not like you.’

‘You know what I am,’ he said harshly. ‘I’m a devil. I can’t help myself. You should have avoided me when you had the chance. But you can’t avoid me now.’

‘Now? What’s so different about now, Bernardo?’

‘You mean-you’re not-?’

‘Pregnant? Yes, I am. I’m carrying your child. But nothing’s changed.’ She faced him. ‘Do you understand that? Nothing.’