I Only Have Fangs For You

CHAPTER 17

Outside Carfax Abbey, Mina hesitated. If she went inside, she was going to have to face all the people she'd worked with-the people who had accepted her so readily. And who she'd cast unfair judgments on.

Maybe they didn't know. But that seemed unlikely. She'd experienced club life, at least for a little while. Everyone knew everyone else's business. And they must have asked someone. After all, she'd just stopped coming to work.

Maybe it would be wiser to head back to her apartment and wait for Sebastian there.

No, she straightened her shoulders. She needed to do this. She needed to tell them she was sorry. She needed to see Sebastian too. She needed to tell him that she'd been wrong about him, too.

Oh, he'd be smug about it, and he'd never let her forget that she'd misjudged him. But she could take that. Being teased by him was as enjoyable as everything else the man did.

"Hi, Constantine," she said quietly as she came up the club's large granite steps.

The tall Greek werewolf stood like an ancient sentry in the doorway. His arms were crossed over his broad, black t-shirt clad chest. His leather encased legs were spread slightly like he was ready to block her entrance. Instead he smiled, his smoldering dark eyes holding not even the slightest hint of dislike. In fact, his gaze roamed down her body.

"Hey, Wilhelmina. Lookin' good."

She was surprised by his reaction, then she remembered what she'd chosen to wear tonight. A dark red, satiny sundress that she barely wore. She'd dress up for the Society meeting? No, she realized. She'd put on this dress with the intention of coming here-to Sebastian.

"Thanks, Constantine."

"Where you been lately?" he asked, and for a moment Mina didn't know what to say. Apparently he hadn't heard she was the one who'd tried to shut down the club and end his job.

She knew she should tell him the truth. She'd been fired, but instead she said, "I've been off for a few days."

"Nice," he said, then turned to take the ID of a lovely brunette waiting to enter the club.

The brunette smiled interestedly at Constantine, and Mina knew the werewolf's attention was otherwise engaged.

She headed into the club. It was the slowest she'd ever seen the place, but it was Sunday night. And she suspected that Carfax Abbey was still busier than most bars on a Sunday. She scanned the large room, looking for Sebastian. She couldn't find him, but she noticed that Greta had spotted her.

"Wilhelmina! I'm so glad you stopped by. Nadine told us that you were taking some time off."

Mina was again shocked. Greta hadn't heard either. Mina glanced at where Nadine stood behind the bar. Nadine saw her too, but rather than gesturing for Constantine to come and throw her out, she just nodded.

Mina waved, not sure what else to do.

"So why are you taking time off?" Greta asked. "It can't be because you're sick." She laughed.

No, vampires didn't get colds, did they? "I just needed a few days to… " She didn't know what to say. "Is Sebastian here?"

Greta looked around. Thankfully, the blonde was easily distracted. "He was here. Oh, I think I saw him head into the back with some woman."

Mina's heart sank. He was with a woman. She shouldn't be surprised. After all, she'd guessed he would be, and they didn't really have anything between them. Other than their field trips and a kiss or two. Or three.

"Want me to get him?" Greta offered.

Mina shook her head. "No, that won't be…»

Sebastian came out of the back hallway talking animatedly with the woman at his side. She was of an average height, maybe 5 5" or 5 6" with glossy brown hair pulled back into a stylish twist. She wore a tweed business suit. The green of the material, somewhere between a lime and an olive color, saved the outfit from looking too severe. And she had pretty dark eyes that sparkled as she talked to Sebastian.

Mina had told herself the whole way over to the club that Sebastian was likely with another woman. But telling herself and seeing the evidence with her own eyes were two very different things. Watching him chatting and laughing with the lovely woman was like a sucker punch straight to the gut. Over and over.

She couldn't handle this. Her feelings about Sebastian were too new to her, too bewildering. She couldn't handle this.

No, she said, annoyed with herself. She shouldn't feel like she wanted to run away. Sebastian certainly hadn't said that they were exclusive-or that they were even dating for that matter, but they had kissed. And that meant something to her. But she knew that it probably meant very little to him. She knew that. And she could be as nonchalant as he was.

She looked down at herself. She suddenly wished she was wearing something more sophisticated. She touched her hair, knotted in the usual messy style. One thing she had changed was her glasses. She hadn't worn them, but now she wished she had. She wanted something to hide behind, since she couldn't just sink into the ground.

Okay, who was she kidding? She couldn't play it cool. All these feelings inside her were too new, too scary. And she just wanted to run.

"There he is," Greta said, in an almost amusingly «after-the-fact» sort of way. Almost amusingly.

"You know, I think I need to go," Mina said. She couldn't talk to him now. Here, in front of the whole bar. Or if she was smart, ever.

She couldn't handle someone like Sebastian. She didn't believe he was the threat that she'd once thought, but he was still too dangerous for her. Or rather, he could be dangerous to her.

"But you just got… " Greta started.

Mina didn't stay to listen. She spun and walked quickly toward the door, her only thought to get out of the club before Sebastian saw her. What if he introduced her to that woman?

Mina, meet my first date of the night. First date, this is Mina, my second date. Or rather my special project. Because she is a total mess, who really, really needs my help.

"Mina?"

She closed her eyes as she heard Sebastian's deep, velvety voice. That was a mistake. She took one step with her eyes closed and her ankle twisted in the stupid sandals that she rarely wore. For this very reason.

Her eyes snapped open just in time to see Sebastian jogging toward her and the tile floor rising up to meet her. She landed in a huddle, her skirt hiked up, one of her already messy ponytails unknotting and falling into her face.

"Mina," Sebastian crouched down beside her, touching her bare knee.

She jerked away, her body reacting too sharply to his touch. How could her darned, wayward body react, when she was sprawled in a pile, looking like an idiot in front of everyone. Especially Sebastian and that woman.

"Don't," she said, pushing back away from him. "Don't do this."

Sebastian gave her a confused look. "Don't help you up?"

"No," she gritted, keeping her voice low. "Don't come into my life and mess up everything. I've worked damned hard to make my life okay, and you are just… You're just-messing it all up!"

She knew she'd repeated herself, but she didn't care. She just wanted to go back to before this man was suddenly so important to her. And could hurt her worse than some old vampire bite.

Sebastian stared at Mina, not sure what she was talking about, but he could see she was near tears. He knew she didn't want his help, but he caught her hand anyway and pulled her to her feet.

"Wait, right here," he stated. "I mean it."

She didn't give him a reaction of any sort; instead focusing on smoothing her skirt.

He frowned at her for a moment, then rushed back to Julie. He didn't want to leave Mina, but it was a little too rude even for him to leave a business associate without saying a word.

"Julie, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut this a little short."

Julie smiled. "Girl troubles?"

"Apparently."

Julie laughed at his perplexed expression. "Then you better go. I've got enough information here to get a proposal written. I'll drop it by sometime next week."

"Great. Thank you." He quickly shook her hand and then strode back to Mina, feeling Nadine, Ferdinand, and Greta's eyes on him as he passed the bar. He didn't acknowledge them, he was more concerned with getting back to Mina. To his surprise, she was still standing in the same spot, her arms curled tightly around herself as if she were cold. Her gaze directed at the floor.

He caught one of her hands. "Okay, let's talk."

"Are you sure you're done?" she asked, her voice sharp with sarcasm.

"Actually I wasn't, and I had to wait a damned long time to get her, but that's okay."

Mina jerked her hand out of his hold, and he turned to see her glaring at him. She spun and started back toward the door.

"Oh no," he stated, catching her hand again. "You are not leaving until we talk."

She lifted her chin as if she planned to argue, but then she let him pull her toward the back hallway.

Once they were in the elevator with the gate closed, he released her hand and faced her.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Mina stared at him for a moment, then looked down at the elevator's corrugated metal floor.

"I want to end the deal," she said flatly.

No. No way. But he didn't say that. "Why?"

She looked up at him, misery clear in her blue eyes. He was the one making her this unhappy. The idea killed him.

"Baby," he murmured, touching her cheek. "Tell me what's going on, please."

She closed her eyes, then straightened her spine against his soft, rich voice. Then she met his gaze directly. "If you are meeting women, mortal women, then how do I know you aren't biting them? There's no way for me to know. You could have bitten women every night since we made the deal. I'd be none the wiser. And-I just can't… I just can't do," she gestured to them, "this. The deal is done."

Sebastian digested her words. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

She didn't answer, but she was sure her miserable expression said enough.

Despite her obvious angst, the idea made him feel like giving a triumphant whoop.

"Why are you smiling?"

He tried to be sober, but couldn't.

"It's cruel to enjoy someone else's distress," she informed him primly.

"Oh baby," he said sincerely, "I'm only enjoying it because this is a major breakthrough."

She eyed him as if she thought perhaps he was mad.

"If you are jealous, then you must like me a little bit."

"Yes," she admitted, with a begrudging roll of her eyes.

"I'm really glad about that. Because I have to admit, I like you a little bit too."

Her eyes narrowed. "You definitely have a weird way of showing it."

"That woman. Her name was Julie Winchester, she's an interior designer who came to look at the club and give me some suggestions."

Mina stared at him and then blinked as if she wasn't quite sure if she'd heard him right. And if she had heard him right, whether or not she should believe him.

"A designer?"

He nodded. "That's it. I haven't bitten a woman, slept with a woman-or barely spoken to another woman since we started this deal."

Mina knew that she should have been relieved by what he was saying. He hadn't been with another woman. Not the way she'd thought anyway. But his explanation only made Mina realize that he wasn't with a woman this time. But he would be eventually.

He wasn't the type to settle down, isn't that what Greta had said? He wasn't a one-woman man, and she simply couldn't expect it. If Greta had no hopes of keeping him, then Mina's chances were nil. And Mina didn't think she could handle that.

But she wanted to. She wanted more time with him, even though the idea scared her senseless. But such a different fear from that which she'd lived with for years. The fear of losing, instead of being trapped.

Her gaze roamed his face. The sharp angle of his jawline was such a contrast to the lush fullness of his beautiful lips. His straight nose and the splash of eyebrows a shade or two darker than his unruly hair. And those golden eyes filled with concern and kindness and desire. All for her, she realized, and she didn't know what to do with that.

"Come here," he said, crooking a finger at her, giving her that lopsided smile that she loved so much.

Even with all the doubts still whirling in her mind, she was helpless to deny him. She stepped closer and he pulled her against him. Gently his lips pressed against hers, soft and strong all at once-with hunger and possession lurking just beneath his gentleness. A heady combination. A thrilling promise of more to come.

He continued to kiss her like that for several minutes not forcing more reaction from her than she was willing to give. And because of his lack of demand, she gave him more. Opening her mouth for him. Her tongue brushing his.

She pressed her body to his lean strength, her fingers tangled in his silky hair. She moaned as he broke off the kiss, not ready for his wonderful mouth to leave hers.

"Come with me to my apartment." The invitation, offered in his low, velvety voice, was as tempting and delicious as his kisses.

She nibbled her bottom lip, still tingly and sensitive. She didn't know if she could do this. She wanted to. Lord, she did. She wanted to feel normal and whole. She wanted only him to make her feel that way. No one else. Ever. And that scared her, because she knew that wasn't what he was offering. He would live forever, but he wouldn't love forever. She knew that.

She stared at him again, his beautiful face, his mesmerizing eyes, and she nodded. She had to take this chance. She hadn't felt this way in over a hundred years, and she couldn't give up a single moment with him.

He smiled reassuringly and then lifted the gate to the elevator. A loud, metallic clatter echoed down the hallway, and Mina couldn't help hoping it was the sound of her prison finally being opened. Maybe she'd finally be free-free of her awful past. Free to feel again.

Linking his fingers with hers, he led her down the hallway. Her hopeful feelings diminished slightly as she stepped inside Sebastian's beautiful apartment. The place, despite its warm, homey atmosphere, was still where he brought all his women. His love nest.

"Would you like to have a seat?"

She nodded and perched on the edge of the plush gray sofa. He glanced around as if he didn't know quite what to do. His uncertainty made her feel a little better, for some reason.

"Would you like something to drink? Wine?"

She nodded again. She needed some other focus than Sebastian.

He nodded in return and then crossed the room to a small sideboard arranged with several bottles and glasses. He started to pick up one of the bottles and then paused, glancing over his shoulder.

"White or red?"

"White," she said automatically. For once in over a hundred years, she wanted to drink something that wasn't red. The beginning, maybe, of a different life.

He turned back to the drinks, and she studied his back. His broad shoulders and the way the muscles rippled with each of his movements under his black shirt. She couldn't remember ever looking at a man's back and wanting him. Not even…

Sebastian finished pouring the drinks and carried them over to the sofa. He sat down beside her, leaving a little space between them as he handed her the wine goblet.

"Mina, we still have more that we need to talk about."

"Like what?" She looked down at her glass, pretending she didn't know what he meant. But she did. He wanted answers to her behavior in the airport restroom.

Sebastian reached out, hooking a finger under her chin, gently forcing her to meet his gaze.

"I don't know," he said, his expression searching. "That's what I want you tell me."

"I'm not sure what…»

"I want to know why when we kiss it usually ends with you attempting to do me bodily harm?"

That wasn't true, was it? She knew she'd panicked, but she hadn't hurt him, had she?

She opened her mouth to deny that, but he continued, "And why you don't know anything about being a vampire. And why you are so scared."

She looked back down at the goblet that she now gripped in both hands.

"Mina, please. Tell me."

She gazed into the pale gold liquid in her glass, watching the way the light shimmered in its depths. So sparkling and fresh. She wanted to go back to when she'd been that way. Sparkling, fresh, able to believe in the goodness of others, unafraid.

"I've only drunk wine once before," she said suddenly. Maybe it was the memories brought on by the wine. Or maybe it was going to the Society meeting and realizing they weren't what she'd believed. Or it was just Sebastian himself, but she suddenly needed to talk. She needed to tell someone-no, not just someone. She needed to tell him about her past. Even though she was ashamed of it.

"Really? Only once?" he said. His voice was falsely interested in that way that people responded when they weren't sure where the conversation was going.

"Yes. My twenty-second birthday. Rather old, I guess. But my father was very strict. He had to be."

"Why?"

"Well, all his daughters were heiresses, of course. We had to make good impressions, and we couldn't make any bad choices. My father was a firm believer that alcohol led to many bad decisions."

"I'd have to agree with that one," Sebastian said, even as he took a sip of his own drink. Hard liquor of some sort, golden like his eyes.

She sipped hers too, amazed she could still remember the tangy sharpness of the flavor, even after all these decades. It was amazing what could stay buried in the recesses of the mind. Sharp and clear and unforgotten.

"Both you and my father were right," she said. "I only drank one night and that night I made the worst choice of my life."