I’m In No Mood For Love

Fifteen

On the twenty-fourth of December the Boise Towne Square Mall was packed with last-minute shoppers. Christmas Muzak kept time with the ringing of cash registers. Groups of teenagers hung over the second-floor railings, calling to friends below, while mothers maneuvered strollers through the melee.

At the entrance of Walden’s Books, Clare sat surrounded by a stack of her latest, Surrender to Love, and was partially hidden by a big easel-backed poster of a busty heroine and her shirtless hero. For the signing, she had dressed in her black double-breasted suit and emerald silk blouse. She wore black hose and four-inch pumps, and her hair was curled about her shoulders. She looked successful and sophisticated, and in one hand she held her gold Tiffany signing pen. There were ten minutes left of her two-hour signing, and she’d sold fifteen of her books. Not bad for December. It was time to sit back, relax. A slight smile tilted her red lips as she gazed down at the open book hidden in her lap: Redneck Haiku, Double-Wide Edition.

“Hey there, Cinderella.”

Clare glanced up from a haiku about Bubba’s wedding and her gaze landed on the faded button fly of a pair of well-worn Levi’s. She recognized those jeans and that voice and knew who both belonged to even before she looked up past an open fleece jacket and blue shirt, past that familiar smile and dark green eyes.

“What are you doing here?” She’d heard Sebastian was back in town for Christmas. He was expected with Leo at her mother’s house for dinner tomorrow night, but it was a shock to see him standing across her small table. His answer was a bigger shock.

“Buying your book for my dad for Christmas.”

Seeing him, a familiar little sensation lifted her stomach. She didn’t love Sebastian, but she did like him. How could she not like a man who braved holiday shopping to buy a romance novel for his father? “You could have called and I would have brought you one.”

Inside his black fleece, he shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”

Which was a blatant lie. No sane person was at the mall unless they absolutely had to be. “I picked up Leo’s lithograph this morning.” Just as much as she liked him, she was physically attracted to him. Much in the same way she was attracted to Godiva truffles. They weren’t good for her and had an addictive quality. If she reached for one, she’d have to have the whole box. Afterward she’d regret it, but there was no denying how much she wanted to dive in and pig out.

His smile creased the corners of his eyes. “Did you get crazy with ribbon?”

She chuckled and sat back. “Not this time.” And there was no denying to herself how much she wanted to binge on Sebastian. “I haven’t wrapped it yet.” Perhaps start at the top of his golden head and work her way south past the hard abs she knew were hiding beneath that flannel.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Are you going to invite me to your house to see it? Or do I have to invite myself again?”

She closed the book in her lap and looked at her watch. It was almost six. “Do you have Christmas Eve plans?”

“No.”

She reached for a copy of Surrender to Love and opened it to the title page. “I’m done here, so why don’t you come over and see it before I wrap it up.” She wrote Leo a nice Merry Christmas message and signed her name. “Or you can wrap it.” She handed him the book, and the tips of her fingers touched his over the busty heroine on the cover.

“Uh, I suck at wrapping. You can go ahead and handle that.”

She placed the book of haiku on the table and stood. “I knew you were going to say that.”

He chuckled, pointed at the bright yellow and red book and raised a dubious brow. “Japanese poetry?”

“Well, redneck Japanese poetry, at any rate.” She stuck her pen in her small black purse. “A girl can never have too much culture,” she said.

“Ah.” He reached for the book and thumbed through it. “I did hear somewhere that the pursuit of intellectual and artistic endeavors are necessary for a healthy mind.”

“And a sign of an enlightened society. Even a redneck society,” she added as they moved deeper into Walden’s.

Clare said a quick good-bye to the bookstore manager and left Sebastian standing in the long line at the registers. In one hand he held the book she’d signed for Leo, and in the other he skimmed Redneck Haiku.

Getting out of the mall parking lot was a nightmare. The drive across town, which normally took her twenty minutes, stretched over an hour. By the time she walked in the door, she was more than ready to be home. She kicked off her shoes and nylons and hung her blazer in her closet. As she unbuttoned her sleeves, the doorbell rang and she moved out of her bedroom to the front of the house. She opened the front door, and Sebastian was standing there, a tall, wide-shouldered outline in the darkness. She felt his gaze on her even before she flipped on the porch light and his green eyes met hers.

“How did you get here so fast?” she asked, and opened the door wider for him to enter.

Instead, he looked at her for several more heartbeats before lowering his attention to her mouth, the front of her blouse and skirt, and all the way to her bare feet. White puffs of his breath hung on the cold air in front of his face.

She shivered and folded her arms beneath her breasts. “Would you like to come in?” she said, finding it odd that he just stood as if his feet were frozen to her porch.

He glanced back up into her face, seemed to hesitate a moment, then stepped inside. He shut the door behind him and leaned back against it. The chandelier overhead showered his blond hair and shoulders in golden light.

“Are you hungry? Would you like me to order a pizza?”

“Yes,” he said, finally speaking. “And no, I don’t want a pizza.” He leaned forward, slid his hand around her waist and pulled her against his chest. “You know what I want.”

Her hands slid up the soft fleece of his jacket. The way he looked at her, his meaning was clear. He explained it anyway.

“Ever since that night when I saw you strip down to your little thong, I’ve thought of making love to you a dozen or so different ways. When I went to your signing tonight, I told myself I was there just to get your book for Leo. That’s thirty percent true. Seventy percent a lie. On the way over here I thought of all the ways I could try and get you out of your clothes, but when you opened the door just now, I realized I don’t want to try and get you out of anything. We’re no longer kids. Playing games. I want your full participation while I strip you naked.”

A part of her wanted that too. Really wanted it. The way he looked at her twisted a heated knot deep in the pit of her stomach. They were both fully clothed and Sebastian still wore his jacket, yet he turned her on with nothing more than the press of his body and the sound of desire in his voice.

“Just in case you’re confused about what I mean,” he added, “if you don’t kick me out right now, we’re going to have sex.”

What about tomorrow? her inner voice asked. The twisting knot, deep in the pit of her belly, answered, Who cares! Her rational voice slightly edged out the desire spreading warm tingles across her flesh. “I’m obviously attracted to you, but I can’t help but think we’ll both regret it. Is a few hours of sex worth it?”

“I’m not going to regret it, and I’m going to make damn sure you don’t either. And it doesn’t matter now, we’re beyond that particular bullet point.” He lowered his face and kissed her throat just beneath her ear. “We need to have crazy hot sex and get it out of our systems. I’ve thought about it, and there’s no other way.”

His breath warmed the side of her neck, and she closed her eyes. She’d never made love with someone with whom she didn’t have a romantic relationship. At least none that she could recall. “Has that worked for you in the past?”

“For me?” He kissed the shell of her ear. “Yes.”

Maybe he was right. Maybe she needed to do it and get it out of her system. Falling in love first had clearly not worked for her. She was in the mood for sex. Not love.

“When was the last time you got laid, Clare?” he whispered.

When? Jeez…ahh…“April?”

“Nine months? Before your breakup with Lonny, then.”

“Yes. When was the last time for you?”

“I’m assuming you mean with someone else in the room.” His quiet laughter brushed her cheek.

“Of course.”

“I’ve had sex twice since I was tested in August for anything and everything from malaria to HIV. Both those times I used a condom.” He brushed his mouth across hers and said, “Does getting off in my shower, thinking of you, count?”

“No.” She might have fantasized about him once or twice. “Was I good?”

“Not as good as you’re going to be.”

Her hands slid up the front of his jacket and she grasped both sides of the open zipper in her fists. Her lips parted and he fed her a slick, wet, devouring kiss that slammed into her and raised her to the balls of her feet.

Within the chandelier’s soft glow, his tongue touched and teased. His hand moved through her hair and down her back, drawing her close, until the hard bulge of his erection pressed into her stomach.

Somewhere in the house the furnace clicked on and forced air through the vents. She wanted Sebastian. All of him. She wanted the way he touched her and kissed her and made her feel, like he couldn’t get enough, and she would worry about the repercussions and regret later. An acquiescent moan came from her throat as she kissed him back and surrendered to the desire bigger than her ability to hold it back. Not that she wanted to even try.

The sound of her moan triggered a sudden response, as if he’d been waiting for it. Within seconds his hands were everywhere, touching her anywhere within reach. Somehow she ended up with her back against the door and her blouse on the floor. She pushed Sebastian’s jacket from his shoulders, and he shook it from his arms. Their lips parted long enough for her to pull his shirt over his head. Then he was against the door once again with his hand on her breasts and his fingers brushing her nipples through the satin of her bra. It was crazy and hot, like nothing she’d ever experienced before. Two people giving in to a purely physical and consuming need. A carnal drive for sex, and she didn’t have to worry about what he’d think of her the morning after. There would be no morning after, and she could give in to it completely for the first time in her life.

He groaned deep in his throat and pulled back. His breathing was heavy when he said, “Clare.” The desire burning in his green eyes told her exactly what he was thinking. His hands slid to her behind and he ground his incredibly hard penis against her. “One time might not be enough.”

Her body ached with response and she swayed into him. Her breasts brushed against his chest. “Two times?”

He shook his head as he slid his hand down her left thigh and lifted her leg to his waist. “All night.”

She leaned forward and kissed his throat as her hands slid up and down his bare sides. “Mmm, well, I should probably tell you that I don’t really have a kinky sex room.”

“That works out because I prefer sex in a bedroom.” He moved his other hand to her thigh and lifted. Her skirt bunched around her waist and she wrapped her legs around his waist. “I’m hoping to get there eventually.” Through the soft fabric of his jeans his erection pressed into the crotch of her black lace panties. He kissed her as they moved into the living room. Light from the entry hall cut a white rectangular pattern into the darkness. His hands held her behind as he carried her to the medallion-back sofa, covered with her great-grandmother’s doilies. Within the dim light of the room she lowered her feet to the floor and slid her mouth to the side of his throat.

“Turn on the light,” he said, and she felt the heavy vibration of his voice against her lips. “We’re not going to do this in the dark.”

Clare pushed her hair out of her face as she moved first to an end table, then across the room to switch on two lamps. “Is that enough light for you?” She reached behind her and unbuttoned the back of her skirt as she walked toward him. The lined wool fabric slid down her legs, and she kicked it aside, leaving only her black nylon bra and lace panties. Time for modesty had long since passed. The night at the Double Tree, she’d already stripped down to nothing but a thong. While she didn’t remember it, he clearly did, and he obviously liked what he’d seen. “Or do you want more?”

He watched her walk toward him from beneath his heavy lids, his hot gaze touching her all over as he stepped out of his shoes. “More? What do you got?”

One brow rose up her forehead as she let her own gaze slip from the hollow of his throat to the defined chest muscles covered in light brown skin. A dark-blond happy trail led her gaze down his hard six-pack abs and tanned stomach, past his navel, and to the waistband of his jeans. “I don’t think I’ve got anything that you haven’t already done before.” She placed her hands on his shoulders, then ran her fingers lightly across his chest. His muscles bunched beneath her touch, and she slipped her hands down his flat belly. “I don’t do yoga. No downward-facing dog.” She slid her hand to his button fly and brushed the long, hard length of him though his pants. “Sorry. With me, you get straight-up sex.”

“I’ve been so turned on for months, you don’t have to do anything but lie there and breathe.” His head dipped and he kissed her shoulder. He unhooked her bra and it fell to her feet. “I’m happy to do the rest.”

She pulled the five metal buttons of his fly, then slid her hand beneath his white boxer briefs. “You don’t want me to do this?” She wrapped her hand around his hot, thick shaft. As she’d suspected the first night he kissed her, Sebastian had grown into a big boy.

His response was a strangled, “No! Yes!”

“Which is it?” With her free hand she shoved his pants and underwear down his thighs. “No?” Her thumb slid up and down the thick cord of his penis. “Yes?”

“Yes,” he hissed between his teeth. Then his mouth sought hers and the warm male scent of him filled her nose and she breathed him deep into her lungs. He smelled like clean skin and he tasted like sex. There was no future with Sebastian. There was only tonight. That was enough.

He grabbed her wrists and pinned them behind her back, smashing her breasts against his chest. Damn,” he said, his voice strained, his breathing rapid. “Slow down or I’ll beat you to the finish line. As it is, I’ll probably only last five seconds.”

She’d take it. Five seconds of Sebastian sounded better than anything else she’d had in a very long time.

He let go of her and removed his pants, underwear, and the socks from his feet. Naked, he was beautiful. Perfect except for the scar on his knee that he’d gotten from falling out of a tree on her mother’s property. When he bent to grab his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans, she had an urge to lean forward and bite him. “I assume that patch on your hip isn’t nicotine,” he said as he straightened.

“No. It’s Ortho Evra.”

“Is it about ninety-five percent effective?”

“Ninety-nine.”

He took her hand and placed the condom in her palm. “I’m leaving the choice up to you.”

While she might find him completely edible, for Clare there was no choice. She ripped open the plastic pouch and took out the lubed ring of latex. She positioned it over the plump head of his penis and slowly rolled it down to the base of his shaft. “Sit down, Sebastian,” she said. When he obeyed, she pushed her panties down her hips. He watched them slide down her legs, then his gaze slid back up to her crotch.

“You’re beautiful, Clare.” He reached for her, and she knelt, straddling his lap. He kissed her stomach. “All over.” He cupped her crotch and brushed between her legs with his fingers. “Especially here.” He held his erection with one hand and pushed her down with the other. She moaned as she felt the head of his penis, smooth and hard and hot. He slid partway into her, and her body resisted the intrusion. She was so ready for him that there was only intense pleasure. She placed her hand on the sides of his neck and lowered herself until she was seated to the hilt. Sensation slashed through her body, from the top of her head to her toes. Her eyes closed and she squeezed her muscles around every solid inch of him. It had been so long, she was content to glory in the length of Sebastian buried deep within her.

Evidently, he was not as content. One second she was squeezing him, taking her time, and in the next she was on her back on the sofa, staring up into his face. He had one foot planted on the floor and was still deeply embedded inside her.

“This is the part where all you have to do is breathe.” He pulled out almost completely, only to thrust so deep she felt him against her cervix. “Is this enough for you?” A deep groan tore through his chest and echoed her own pleasure. “Or do you want more?”

She wrapped one leg around his back. “I want more,” she whispered as he began to move, setting a perfect rhythm of pleasure. “That feels so good.” She licked her dry lips. “What happens if I stop breathing and pass out?”

With his face just above hers, he said, “I’ll wake you when it’s over.”

Her chuckle turned into a long moan as he moved faster and every cell in her body focused on the shaft pounding into her. Faster, harder, and more intense. Over and over. His harsh breath brushed her cheek as he drove into her. Caressing and building sensation. Stroking her inside all at once. She moved with him, matching thrust for thrust. In and out again and again. Caught up in the hot pleasure she never wanted to end, she didn’t know how long they’d been going at it until he said, “Clare.” His voice was harsh, ravaged. “Honey, are you just about there?”

Before she could answer, she cried out as an exquisite climax crashed over her, flushing her body with heat. She saw and heard nothing over the pounding in her chest and head. Her inner muscles clenched and drew him deeper. Milking him with hot liquid tugs. He drove into her harder and harder, pushing her up her great-aunt’s sofa until he too climaxed. An explosion of curses were forced from his throat and collided with the sound of intense male pleasure, primal and possessive. With one last thrust he slid his arms beneath her shoulders and crushed her tight against his chest.

“Clare,” he whispered between ragged, rough breaths. “If I’d known you were so good, I would have thrown you in the bushes and done this the first night I kissed you back in September.”

“If I’d known it would be this good…” She swallowed and licked her dry lips. “…I probably would have let you.”

He was silent for several more moments as he kissed the side of her head, basking in the sweet warmth of afterglow. “Clare?”

“Hmm.”

“The condom broke.”

Her afterglow popped like a soap bubble. She pushed at his shoulders as she felt the blood drain from her head. “When?”

He looked down into her face. “About five seconds before I came.”

“And you didn’t stop?”

He chuckled and pushed her hair from her forehead. “I have some control, but not at that point. Not when I’m feeling your orgasm grabbing my cock like that.” He kissed the end of her nose and smiled. “I swear to God, Clare, I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard.”

“How can you smile?” She shoved his shoulders, but his arms around her tightened.

“Because you’re wearing that little birth control patch that’s ninety-nine percent effective.” His smile grew bigger. “Because you feel good, and because you’re clean, and I know I’m clean.”

“How do I know that for sure?”

“Because I would never lie to you about something so important. Trust me, Clare. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Trust Sebastian? She looked into his eyes. There was no teasing or laughter or trickery. Just the honest truth. He pulled out a little, then slowly thrust inward again.

“If I thought there was a remote possibility of anything bad, I’d tell you. Believe me.”

Believe him while he was still buried deep inside her? “If you’re lying to me, I’ll kill you. I swear I will.” He continued with slow thrusts, and despite herself, she moved with him.

He grinned as if he’d just won the lottery. “Coming from the author of Surrender to Love, that’s not very romantic.”

“Love and romance are overrated.” She ran her hands over his shoulders to the sides of his neck. “Crazy hot sex is so much better.”